Work Text:
> Be Vriska Serket.
Your name is Vriska Serket, and Rose Lalonde is the newest target of Kanaya Maryam’s fixation.
She is nothing like you. She can do arabesques and pirouettes around you mentally, leaving you twisted up and doubting all you know about yourself. She is smarter than you; she is quicker than you, sharper than you.
Not in her figure, though. It’s just another difference between you. You, with your angles and jutting bones; your hips form a shelf and your collarbones are sunken into your skin.
She looks nothing like you. She is shorter than you, for one -- you tower over her like a skyscraper. Her body is soft, her breasts heavy and her hips and thighs and stomach plump and round. You have caught Kanaya wrapping her large hands around her fullness, caressing her body mindlessly in the common areas. The contact always seems so casual. It is nothing like the way Kanaya used to touch you -- her hands shaking, her eyes wide as if she thought you’d hurt her. (You have, for less.)
You miss her, you think. Though you would never admit it to yourself, and much less to her, you miss the way Kanaya used to look at you.
So you do what you know how to do best; you confront her.
You corner her after lunch one day, just as she is leaving the dining room. She is still flushed, her hair mussed from whatever she was doing in there with Rose. Her cheeks are still stained with black lipstick, and she glows, fluorescent white, stark against your darker skin.
You step into her way, and she avoids your eyes and tries to step around you. You stop her.
VRISKA: Kanayaaaaaaaa.
It is at this point you realize you’re not exactly sure what to say. You push on.
VRISKA: Kanayaaaaaaaa. You never talk to me anymore. I sort of miss the way you’d follow me around and fuss over me!
She is still avoiding your eyes.
KANAYA: I Do Not Want To Speak To You Vriska
KANAYA: I Have A Matesprit Now
KANAYA: I Think
Your bloodpusher shatters. She tries to step around you again. You stop her, again.
VRISKA: Doesn’t mean you c8n’t have a moirail, does it?
VRISKA: Talk to me, Kanaya.
You reach out to touch her cheek, and she catches your wrist with the speed of a rainbow drinker, stopping your hand in its tracks. You remember when she used to do that to try to stop you from leaving. You wish more than anything she would do it again. You wouldn’t leave this time.
KANAYA: That Is The Thing Vriska
KANAYA: I Think
KANAYA: I Think She Wants Me In All Her Quadrants
KANAYA: Flush Pale Pitch
KANAYA: She Makes No Distinction
You scoff. You’re about to protest, Rose Lalonde? Pitch? Don’t m8ke me laugh! But then your eyes land on the slope of her neck, where you see a deep, jade bite mark, stark against her skin. Your bloodpusher sinks.
VRISKA: That’s.
VRISKA: That’s disgusting!!!!!!!!
You push her away, and she stumbles backward. For a second, you swear you see a flicker of hurt on her face, and your chest feels full with triumph. But then her expression hardens, and you feel your victory drain away.
KANAYA: It Is Human Vriska
KANAYA: She Loves Me In The Human Way
VRISKA: It’s not fucking natural!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: What are you, a quadslut for her?
Her expression falls, and you feel triumph return to you; sicker this time, twisted up in something ugly you don’t know how to name.
VRISKA: You’re a f8cking f8ilure 8f a tr8ll.
VRISKA: This is why I h8ed you so much!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: You don’t know how to keep your quadrants organized!!!!!!!!
VRISKA: You could never just 8e pale for me!
Her features crumple in on themselves, and for a second you think she is going to start crying.
But she doesn’t. It takes a moment, but they smooth out into a calm, restrained expression, and you hate her for it. Pitch flares in your chest, dark and heavy and black, so black, black as night, black as tar.
You hate her, and that is better than loving her.
KANAYA: You Are
KANAYA: You Are Correct Vriska
KANAYA: Yes I Loved You
KANAYA: Yes I Loved You Red
The admission makes pride flare in your chest. She loved you, red, and she has finally admitted it to you.
KANAYA: But Vriska You Were Never Even A Moirail To Me
KANAYA: You Broke My Face
KANAYA: You Broke Me
She reaches up to tap her long, crooked nose, and you remember for a moment how her jade blood looked splattered across your knuckles. You remember how you stuck your hands into the river near her hive and scrubbed your skin until it was raw and blue.
KANAYA: I Should Have Known
KANAYA: There Is No Way A Ship Can Really Love An Anchor
She stops speaking, and closes her eyes for a moment, tilting her head back towards the ceiling like a plant toward the sun. It reminds you of how you used to watch her sleep during the long Alternian nights.
She looks at you again. Her gaze softens, and your bloodpusher rate rises. You remember how she used to look at you, and this is close enough to that that you cling to it.
KANAYA: I Know You Feel Guilty For How It All Happened
Do you? Do you even know what guilt feels like?
KANAYA: But You Need To Let It Go
KANAYA: Let All Of It Go
KANAYA: Pretend We Were Never Anything At All
KANAYA: That Is Certainly The Closest We Will Ever Get To Being
KANAYA: Civil
Her jaw clenches, and you ache to sink your fist into it. But you don’t. You are stationary, stuck where you are. You cannot move, nor speak. All you can do is listen to her.
Your mouth opens, and shuts. Opens again, shuts again. Finally, you find your words.
VRISKA: Do you think........
VRISKA: Do you think you could ever love me again?
Desperation creeps into your tone.
VRISKA: I’ll love you! I’ll love you red. I’ll 8e flushed for you. I’ll 8e the 8est fucking matesprit to you. I can do it, Kanaya, just please!!!!!!!!
You reach out, and she backs up a step. Cerulean tears fill your eyes, and you wish she would cry too.
VRISKA: Come 8ack. Please. I need you.
KANAYA: No You Do Not
She pushes your hands away. Her eyes remain downcast, stubbornly refusing to meet yours. You choke down a sob.
KANAYA: You Do Not Need Me Vriska
KANAYA: You Never Did
KANAYA: You Need To Understand This
KANAYA: You Need To Let Me Go
KANAYA: You Are Not My Person Anymore
KANAYA: And I Was Never Yours
Rose emerges from the dining room and stops in her tracks, seeing you and Kanaya. You, bent and slumped over, and Kanaya, standing with her back straight. She feels taller than you for once. You remember how small she used to feel to you. She feels the opposite now.
Rose’s violet eyes dart between you and Kanaya, as if sizing you both up.
ROSE: Am I interrupting something?
ROSE: I can leave you two to it, if you would like to finish out this altercation between yourselves.
Kanaya’s eyes soften when she looks at Rose.
KANAYA: No Dearest
KANAYA: This Conversation Is Over
She spares you a glance, and you barely get to meet her eyes before hers flick back to Rose.
KANAYA: Goodbye Vriska
Her hand wraps around Rose’s, and Rose smiles at her. Acid curdles in the pit of your stomach, and you think you might vomit.
ROSE: Fantastic. I was thinking we might visit the library. I heard they’ve gotten a couple new poetry collections.
KANAYA: Is That So
KANAYA: I Am Looking Forward To Investigating Them
Rose begins to lead her away, and she spares you one more glance. One last glance.
Then she begins to walk away.
She does not look back again.