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Life with Alexia was more than you’d ever hoped for, possibly even more than you deserved. She took care of you in all the quiet, steady ways you’d always wanted someone to. It was hard to imagine her ever doing anything wrong. Everything she said and did came so easily to her, like she’d already thought it through weeks before it happened.
On the pitch, she was the same. She never lost her head out there. She never lost it with you either.
And that was the problem.
You were obviously happy with her; you'd be stupid to say otherwise. Yet, deep down, you knew something was missing. It took you a long time to understand fully, but once you did, you never stopped thinking about it.
╌──═❁═──╌
It had been a particularly tough game, especially for Alexia; that much you knew. She'd been subbed off after a not-so-favourable performance — in her eyes — and though it was a rare occurrence, you knew just how angry she was about it, even before you saw her that night.
She didn't talk at all on the drive back, instead staying slumped in her seat as the radio played at a low volume, her eyes glued to the window as you drove. You knew better than to ask about it then, so you didn't.
"Are you hungry?" You ask softly, as the older woman lies on the couch with her hood over her head, strings pulled so tight that you could barely see her face.
"Estoy bien."
You nod to yourself, not really sure how to navigate this situation.
As you go to sit next to her, you feel her stiff body loosen just with your presence, and you decide to test the waters a bit.
"I thought you played well."
"Cariño." Her voice is firm, not necessarily angry, but you can tell it's a warning. It's rare for her to talk to you like this.
"You did, I'm not lying."
"You were not watching the same game, then." She sits up, loosening the strings of her hoodie to take a swig of water from her bottle. When she stands, she tugs the hoodie off completely, tossing it onto the couch beside you. The sudden movement makes you flinch a little, but you hide it well. Or you think you do, you honestly can't tell since she barely takes any notice of you.
Her jaw is set tight as she looks forward, eyes fixed on the coffee table. You can almost hear her thoughts whirring, undoubtedly going over her mistakes in the game, the things she could've done better. She's obviously angry, and you should be doing more than simply sitting there, but you can't bring yourself to look away from her right now. There's a heat radiating off of her, and you just wish she would—
"I should've done better," she mutters to herself. "I had sixty minutes to fucking do better."
Her fingers drag through her hair roughly, her forearms flexing, veins shifting ever so slightly under her skin. Your eyes naturally drift upwards to her now exposed biceps, and they linger there for a bit before her deep sigh startles you.
"Ale," you start softly, "you're being a bit harsh on yourself, no?"
At that, she glares at you sharply, and it hits you harder than you anticipated. For a moment, you wait, hoping she'll say something, maybe argue—just anything. But she doesn't.
She exhales, her shoulders slumping as the tension in her body seemingly disappears as quickly as it arrived.
"I'm going to go shower, mi vida," she says quietly and way too calmly for your liking. She leans over and presses a soft kiss to your temple, then straightens and walks away towards the bathroom.
You sit there, blinking at the empty space she left behind, wondering how she can be so calm even when you know she feels everything but that. How, just a few seconds ago, she looked at you in the way you've always wanted her to. It was there for such a brief moment, and you would've missed it had you not been so desperate for it. How silly you were to think that maybe, for once, she would finally stop holding back. That perhaps she would stop treating you like you're fragile and that you'd shatter if she touched you or talked to you differently than she always has. You know she loves you—more than anything—and of course you don't take it for granted. Sometimes you just wish that she would, just for once, lose control with you.
Over time, you realised the only way you could get your point across was by making her mad yourself. Instead of waiting for her to have a bad game or day at training, you needed to be the one riling her up in the first place.
So you did, on any occasion you could.
╌──═❁═──╌
Your next attempt came by naturally, at night, whilst Alexia was up late, staring at her laptop screen instead of being in bed with you.
It wasn't uncommon for her to do this on her off days, reviewing clips from her matches or training sessions — going over all that she needed to improve on. Usually, she would've done it earlier in the day whilst you were working, but instead she thought now was a suitable time for it.
"Babe, you said you were going to be done like an hour ago?"
Her eyes stay glued to that damn screen, a faint frown on her brow as she rewinds the video once more as if your interruption ruined her fifth rewatch of the same clip.
You sigh, frustrated and tired, as you flop onto the couch next to her. You bump into her slightly, which earns you a tut from her lips.
"Un momento," she says absently as she clicks on another clip, from a game this time, and you squint as you look at her screen, the brightness so high it could probably burn your retinas off.
She'd been like this all night; as soon as she ate, she was on her laptop watching the same videos over and over. You wanted her attention, her eyes on you, her hands… You glance down. Her finger moves across her trackpad as she selects another video — a free kick she took in the game that didn't go in. She keeps rewinding it at the point where her boot touches the ball, and you roll your eyes. You sit up a little and lean into her as she lets the video play fully, and you watch it too, trying to figure out what it is you're supposed to be looking for.
"The game's over, by the way." You tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. "I don't think watching it over will change the fact that you didn't score."
That makes her pause — just a little. Her finger hovers just as she was about to rewatch the clip once more, and you feel a warmth pool in your stomach, knowing you definitely struck a nerve.
"It helps me." Her voice is low and steady. "I need to do it, amor."
You scoff as you lean back, crossing your arms over your chest. "I think it's stupid, honestly."
She exhales through her nose, "It is not stupid."
"Yes, it is."
Her head turns ever so slightly, her eyes catching yours for a beat before she returns to her screen. She doesn't say anything, and it infuriates you.
"Typical," you mumble under your breath, but she catches it, of course she does.
"¿Qué dijiste?" (What did you say?)
The sharpness in her tone makes your eyes widen a little, and you straighten up at the sound of it.
You clear your throat, feeling a little bolder suddenly. "I said, typical."
She looks at you once more and tilts her head. "Vale." Then smiles softly before clicking on another video. "Typi-cal…" She tests the word out on her tongue as she presses play.
You want to scream, tell her to notice you, make her notice… But you don't. Instead, you get up and go to bed, knowing your girlfriend won't be finished anytime soon.
╌──═❁═──╌
As you were doing the last parts of the laundry, you walked into your bedroom to see Alexia sitting on the edge of the bed, hair still wet from the shower, while she's rolling one of her shoulders with a slight wince on her face.
You lean against the doorframe as you watch her for a moment. "The same one still?"
She glances over at you, the corner of her mouth tugging up a little. "Yeah," she winces again as she moves it barely an inch. "Nothing helps."
You walk into the room, putting away all the folded clothes before turning to her. "I could help, if you like?"
A brief flash of hesitation washes over her, but she nods. "Thank you."
She lifts her shirt off and lies on the bed, groaning quietly at the strain on her shoulder in this position, and you reach for the bottle of oil on your nightstand.
When your hands first touch her, she exhales a long, slow breath that tapers off into a low groan, and you feel your body react almost instantly to it. Your fingers falter a little, barely noticeable to anyone but you. After quickly collecting yourself, you press deeper into her shoulder, earning you another noise that forces you to release a breath that you weren't aware that you were holding.
"You should've told me that it was still hurting, baby." You whisper as your thumbs dig into her shoulder blades.
She turns her head slightly on the pillow so you can see her. "But, you worry too much."
You give her back a light slap in response, which makes her laugh, and it rolls through you, settling somewhere deep in your stomach.
As your hands work her shoulders, your eyes naturally trail down her back, taking in the different designs on her smooth skin, and you smile to yourself. You don't notice the woman beneath you has noticed your new distraction until she clears her throat loudly.
"Sorry," you mumble as you move your hands back up to her bad shoulder, "got distracted."
Her quiet laugh fills the room. "Does my body distract you this much, cariño?"
Usually, you'd back down, let her win because a part of you liked that — but you don't this time.
"It does."
She looks over her shoulder then, and the way her gaze meets yours makes your breath hitch before you can control it. There's a tension hanging between you both; you know she feels it as her eyes flicker down to your lips, staying there as she subconsciously licks her own.
Yet, when you think things are about to escalate, she blinks, and her expression softens before she turns back and rests her head against the pillow.
"Sigue, lo estás haciendo bien." (Keep going, you’re doing well.)
The warmth in her tone should calm you down, but it does the opposite. With a huff, you continue to work into her shoulder, perhaps pressing harder than you should — not that she would notice. Yet another time, when you wished she would take that next step and she ended up backing away completely.
╌──═❁═──╌
You're sitting at the counter, scrolling through your phone, when she brings it up.
"It's just a small thing," she says as she takes out a pan from a cupboard, "and it's my turn to host this time."
You hum as you try to act casual — you already knew about this dinner happening tonight, given the fact that she literally told you last week. It was good timing, because you thought you could use tonight to your advantage. Alexia had been impossible lately, despite all of your attempts; she was always as oblivious as ever. Honestly, you were starting to run out of ideas, so this was perfect.
The shirt you were wearing was one of Alexia's, in fact, a little oversized for you, and you'd unbuttoned a few too many buttons, the soft fabric able to slip further over your shoulders with the subtlest of movements. Your shorts barely show, the shirt covering most of them unless you stretch or lean a certain way.
It was definitely not appropriate for the occasion, and had this been any other time, you would have behaved, but in your eyes, you really had no choice. You want Alexia to get mad and tell you off for being careless. To have her stop being so gentle and actually do something about it.
Alexia turns around, wondering why you haven't gotten up yet. Then her eyes flicker over you, up and down, then once again as if she's missed something.
She blinks a couple of times before speaking, "Go get ready then."
"I am ready." You turn your attention back to your phone, fighting the smile creeping to your lips.
She pauses, setting some wine glasses down on the table. "¿Perdón?" You feel her eyes across your skin again, lingering on your exposed shoulder for a moment too long. "You're not wearing that."
You look up, and you swear you can see her gulp slightly. "Why not?"
She blinks, caught off guard by the fact that you're actually questioning her right now. Then, she shakes her head like she’s trying to steady herself. "Porque lo digo yo, bebé," (Because I said so, baby) she says finally, calmly.
Swivelling off your seat, you get up and wander over to her. She's already focused on cooking and, knowing her, probably has forgotten about your conversation already.
You press your body into her side, wrapping your arms around her waist, a soft sigh slipping past your lips as you lean your head against her shoulder. She doesn’t move away, but she doesn’t react either; she just keeps stirring, her eyes never leaving the pan.
Your frustration builds up as she refuses to acknowledge you. "I thought you liked this shirt," you bring up again, wanting the attention back on you.
She sighs exasperatedly, moving away from your touch to grab other utensils. "I do."
Then she turns back to you, taking you in once more, and her eyes stay on your neck, your shoulder, down to your legs and back to your eyes once more. Her jaw tightens; she looks like she's holding herself back, like she wants to say something. You're aching for her to.
Both of you stay there like this, her eyes locked onto yours as you're tilting your head at her, waiting and hoping that she'll snap.
But nothing happens.
A small breath escapes her, and she gives you a soft smile, then goes back to what she was doing, leaving you staring at her in shock. You thought she was going to lose it; you could've sworn she was close to doing so, but she dropped it. Again.
You let out a short, bitter laugh as you walk off into the living room, shaking your head. There's clearly no point in trying anymore.
You're unaware, but as you leave, she looks over her shoulder for a moment, taking you in, then goes back to stirring the contents in the pan.
╌──═❁═──╌
The apartment smells amazing. Roasted vegetables and garlic wafting in the air as you're perched on the arm of the couch, adjusting your shirt slightly so it reveals even more skin. You're doing your best to act casual, but every muscle in your body feels like it's on fire for the woman who is currently trying to do three hundred things in the kitchen at once. Obviously, you tried to offer your help earlier, which Alexia proudly declined, something she loves doing to you lately, clearly.
A ring at the door has your attention, and finally, you can put yourself to use — socialising.
Irene is first to arrive, and you welcome her warmly, and Alexia gives her a small wave from the kitchen as she walks by. Not long after, Cata and Claudia are the next to arrive, and the place starts to liven up, and you slowly feel yourself forgetting the frustrations of the past few weeks as the minutes go by.
Finally, Kika and Esmee arrive. You know not because they rang the doorbell but because you can hear them down the hall, and you perk up at the thought of seeing them again after a while. Out of all of Alexia's teammates, you're closest with them — Cata and Claudia come in a close second. You're not sure how it happened, but as soon as you were introduced to Esmee and Kika, you clicked with them instantly. Being around Kika definitely makes you more chatty; her personality is so infectious, and you know you're definitely way more annoying when in her presence — much to everyone else's dismay. Esmee was basically her polar opposite, and that's how your friendship worked so well. Whenever you both needed to be taken down a few notches, Esmee could just about manage — most of the time anyway.
As you open the door, Kika practically throws herself at you, enveloping you in a tight hug, and you laugh, trying to keep your balance.
"Girl, you look so hot, what the hell?" She whispers into your ear, a little too loud, as it manages to catch Alexia's attention. You notice instantly the way her hand pauses mid-stir, her smile faltering just a bit. Her gaze fixed on Kika's hand lingering on your exposed shoulder as she looks over your shoulder to wave at the others. Your hand swats hers away playfully, but you appreciate that someone thinks you look good enough to compliment tonight. Esmee gives you a quick hug before going to sit with everyone else, and you stand there for a bit as Alexia watches you, her eyes burning into the side of your face. After a few seconds, you catch her gaze with yours, and she offers you a tight smile before turning away. Finally, it feels like things are beginning to turn in your favour.
╌──═❁═──╌
As everyone begins to congregate at the table, you begin to walk over to where Kika is already sitting, but a hand on your waist stops you before you can get there.
"No," a low whisper in your ear, "a mi lado." (next to me) It isn't a question, and you know you should listen; something in her tone tells you not to question her. So you don't.
Alexia goes around, plating up for everybody, and you barely take notice as you're chatting away with Kika opposite you, with Cata chiming in here and there. Even when your plate is put down in front of you, you don't acknowledge it.
When Alexia finally takes her seat beside you, there's an air around her that makes you shift ever so slightly. The scent of her perfume cuts through the air and momentarily has you distracted from your current plan.
Across from you, Kika is still mid-story, something from international duty, and you watch her as you eat, trying not to spit out your food as you're laughing. It doesn't escape the woman beside you that you're laughing louder at what Kika's saying compared to everyone else.
"I literally texted you as soon as it happened, didn't I?" She looks to you, and you nod with a smile as you put your hand on the table near your wine glass. The quick shift to English as she asks you the question catches a few people off guard besides you and Esmee, but everyone continues to listen regardless. Kika's hand lands on top of yours as she laughs. It's casual and obviously means nothing.
Not to Alexia, though.
It's the way you and Kika are in your own bubble, as if everyone else doesn't matter — as if she doesn't. Her jaw stiffens as she finishes the rest of her wine, placing it down on the table a little harder than anticipated, and you look over at her. Your eyes flicker down to her hand, still gripping the empty glass, and you feel a small urge to say something to her. You don't.
Kika's hand tapping yours lightly tears your gaze away as you continue listening to what she has to say. Meanwhile, your girlfriend sits beside you quietly, trying to figure out how she's going to get through tonight without exploding.
After everyone finished eating, they made their way to the couches, preparing to play whichever board game they could all agree on — from the shouting you could hear, it was not going to be an easy decision.
You find yourself walking into the kitchen, where Alexia is wiping down the counter, seemingly in the same spot over and over again.
"I think it's clean enough now," you tease as you lean against the counter, facing her.
She definitely hears you, her glance giving her away, but she doesn't reply.
You tilt your head slightly. "You okay?" Your voice drops a level, not wanting the others to overhear—not that they could with the way Cata and Kika are yelling right now.
As you open the fridge to get a bottle of water, you hear her footsteps behind you, which makes you freeze a little.
"¿Qué te crees que estás haciendo?" (What do you think you're doing?)
As you turn to her, you blink a few times as you feign confusion.
"Getting water? I'm thirsty." You walk past her, letting your shoulder graze hers on purpose.
Your heart rate is skyrocketing; you know you're pushing your luck, but this is the most Alexia has acknowledged your antics for the last few weeks. Why on earth would you stop now that it's starting to get good?
"No juegues conmigo." (Don't play with me.) Her voice cuts through you, and you turn away from her so you can let out a breath you've been keeping in for far too long.
"I'm not allowed to drink water now?" You smile over your shoulder, and her eyes narrow at you. Unimpressed.
She exhales deeply, stepping closer to you, and the space between you shrinks into nothing, her body pressing against yours firmly. Her hand grips your hip, stopping you from moving away, not that you're even thinking about doing that right now.
"¿Me tomas por tonta?" (Do you take me for a fool?) She murmurs low, and your pulse spikes, and you feel your face warming instantly.
She continues, her eyes locked on yours, "¿Y en la cena? ¿Qué fue todo eso?" (And at dinner? What was all that?)
Feigning innocence once more, you shake your head as a small smirk creeps onto your lips. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Her jaw clenches, and you don't miss the way the vein in her neck stands out sharply against her skin. Your body thrums as her grip doesn't let up, her nails digging into your skin, and you find yourself biting your lip softly as you look at your very angry girlfriend.
"Behave."
You let out a short laugh, more amused than anything, and you shake your head again as you move out of her grasp. Your eyes find hers once more before you leave to join everyone else. Alexia leans forward, hands braced on the counter as she watches you disappear into the living room. She's starting to understand what you're doing, but she knows you'll listen and act normally for the rest of the evening. You always listen to her.
Yet, she doesn't seem to know you at all, because you're only getting started.
╌──═❁═──╌
By the time Alexia makes it into the living room, she misses the start of the round of UNO, so she's made to just observe this time. Cata and Claudia are sitting together, shielding their cards from each other defensively, whilst Irene and Esmee are sitting pretty relaxed beside each other, sipping their drinks here and there.
The sight of you makes Alexia stop in her tracks, though. You're on Kika's lap, leaning into her as you point at her cards, shaking your head at every suggestion she makes. Both of you are trying to be casual, but of course, Alexia sees through it all. You want her to see it.
She sits down, takes a swig of her wine, swirling the rest of it as her eyes burn into the side of your head.
"¿Puedes dejar de elegir el azul? Nadie tiene azul." (Can you stop picking blue? Nobody has blue.) Claudia frowns as she picks up another card after Cata has changed the colour for the fiftieth time.
"Deberías elegir mejores cartas entonces." (You should choose better cards then.) Cata sticks out her tongue, and Claudia slaps her forehead with the back of one of her cards.
Irene wordlessly places a blue 6, and Esmee groans as she's also made to pick up another card.
You move off Kika's lap to grab your glass off the table, and you meet Alexia's eyes for a few seconds before sitting next to Kika, leaning against her side to tell her which card to play next.
"Anything but blue because Cata's are literally all blue," you whisper in her ear, and she laughs with a nod. Kika plays a green 2 on top of the blue 2 Esmee picked up and put down moments before. You notice Cata's smile drop as she looks back at her own cards. Too easy.
Alexia feels her eye twitching at the sight of you across the coffee table, and she decides to direct the attention onto you, seeing as it's what you want, apparently.
"Why aren't you playing, nena?" Her tone is casual, definitely not out of the ordinary to everyone else, but to you, it's all but comforting.
As you're about to reply, Kika places her hand on your thigh and answers on your behalf, "Ella es la árbitra, Alexia." (She's the referee, Alexia.)
Alexia scoffs at that, her eyes rolling just slightly. "Apenas una árbitro si solo te está ayudando a hacer trampa." (Hardly a referee if she's just helping you cheat.)
"No es hacer trampa." (It's not cheating.) Kika smirks at Alexia across the room, "Ella está siendo realmente útil, en realidad." (She's being really helpful, actually.) She then places a green reverse card on the pile, grinning mischievously.
Alexia shakes her head with a bitter laugh, her gaze flicking down briefly to Kika's hand still resting on your leg, and the others start looking at each other, not knowing whether to say anything or continue playing.
After Esmee takes her turn quickly, not wanting to say anything, Irene clears her throat as she puts a card down onto the pile, "Uh… recoge cuatro…" (Uh… pick up four…)
"¿Otra vez?" Claudia groans in annoyance, slapping her hand down onto the pile of spare cards with a glare in the direction of a very pleased-looking Irene. Cata gives Claudia a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as she sulks, looking at the… fourteen cards in the winger's hands.
Just as everyone thinks it's safe to breathe again, Alexia speaks once more.
"¿Y tú, vas a seguir mirando las cartas de Kika?" (And you, are you going to keep looking at Kika's cards?)
You go to open your mouth again, but Kika steps in again, a sly grin on her lips as she speaks. "Todo forma parte de nuestra estrategia, Alexia." (It's all part of our strategy, Alexia.)
Alexia arches her brow and nods, "¿Ah, sí? Interesante. (Oh, really? Interesting.) She's doing her best to appear calm, but only you notice the way her knuckles are turning white from gripping onto the arm of her armchair so hard. You pluck up the courage to look her in the eyes and already see she's been waiting for you to. The heat of her gaze prickles your skin as you feel your breathing start to become uneven.
As you both stare each other down, Kika's hand on your arm brings your attention back to her, using her cards to hide her mouth, asking you if she should unleash her two +4 cards onto Esmee. Instead of answering right away, you look over at Alexia and make sure she's watching you first, then you nod in reply to Kika's question.
It's been so long since you've seen your girlfriend look at you this way, and in all honesty, you're not sure if it's ever been truly in this way. You've seen her angry on the pitch and, obviously, after some bad games. This, however, was fully because of you — no external reasons, just your behaviour. It's what you wanted, but it's completely untouched territory. You don't really know what your next move should be. Perhaps you've done enough; maybe you should rein it in for the night and deal with Alexia after. Or…
"UNOOO!" Kika shouts gleefully, and the others mumble and groan between themselves.
"How come you only helped, Kika?" Esmee frowns at you as she tries to peek at the last remaining card in the Portuguese woman's hand.
"Because I'm her favourite," Kika sticks her tongue out at Esmee, and the latter rolls her eyes.
You expect a comment, a noise or anything from Alexia, but nothing comes. All she does is sit there, her arms crossed tightly over her chest as her eyes bore into you, like nobody else is in the room right now.
Once it's Kika's turn again, all eyes are on her, awaiting the inevitable.
She sighs deeply, getting up to go pick up another card, and everyone playing, besides Claudia, who is far from winning, breathes a small sigh of relief. Then, Kika slaps her last card onto the pile, and she wins the game.
"You're so annoying," Esmee mumbles, dropping her cards down on the table.
"You're a sore loser," Kika shoots back with a cheeky smile as she sits back down next to you, leaning her head on your shoulder. You don't push her off; instead, you lean into the contact as your body relaxes ever so slightly.
Cata stands up and stretches her arms with a groan. "La única perdedora adolorida aquí es..." (The only sore loser here is...) She turns to Claudia, who is sulking as she sinks deeper into the couch.
"Es culpa tuya que tuviera tantas cartas." (It's your fault that I had so many cards.) She scowls as she sits up a bit.
Everyone watches their bickering fondly, whilst Irene shakes her head with an amused smile as she starts collecting the cards up. The only person not smiling or talking currently is the woman across from you. You're not sure if she's looked away from you in the past thirty minutes, even though you were doing your best to avoid her eyes most of the time; you always felt them on you.
Kika notices your silence and follows your gaze, her eyes landing on Alexia before a knowing smirk spreads across her face.
Her hand slides to your face, her fingertips grazing your jaw as she tilts your head slightly toward her. "I think my work here is done." Her voice is quiet, and her eyes dart to Alexia as she says it.
You bump your shoulder against hers, trying to bite back a smile. "Do you not think it was a bit much?" You say with uncertainty, and Kika moves back a little to look at you properly.
"Oh, absolutely." She looks over at Alexia once more, then looks back at you. "You're so dead, girl."
At that, you feel your stomach drop slightly, the gravity of the situation properly hitting you for the first time tonight.
Kika goes over to Esmee to gloat some more, leaving you alone on the couch. As you sit up, you decide to look at Alexia again.
No words need to be said. The message is loud and clear: she's had enough.
╌──═❁═──╌
Cata and Claudia are the last to leave. You walk them to the door, your laughter filling the now quiet apartment. Cata pulls you into a tight hug, and you groan as she nearly squeezes your organs out through your ears. As you push her off you with an eye roll, you kiss Claudia on the temple, and you promise to meet up with them again on one of their off days in the future.
Earlier, when everyone started to get ready to leave, Kika had pulled you to the side and asked you if she should stick around for more 'moral support', but you instantly declined — you know you've absolutely crossed the line tonight. One more interaction with Kika probably would've ensured you wouldn't have lived to tell the tale.
Speaking of.
The click of the door beneath your fingers makes your anxiety worse, knowing that you're truly on your own from here on out. You're not sure how to go about this — whether to act normally or bring up the night's antics. The thought of doing so makes you feel a bit nauseous, so you decide to go and collect your neglected water bottle from hours ago on the counter instead. Alexia emerges from the hallway, and you don't acknowledge her presence as you sit on one of the stools. You notice a text notification, and you start typing your reply.
"Get up."
The way she's talking to you chills you, your body stiffening as soon as you hear it. You don't move, though. Opting to glance at her momentarily, then back to your phone.
"You're ignoring me now?" She scoffs as she walks towards the counter, and before you know it, your phone is ripped out of your hands and slammed harshly down onto the surface without a care. The action makes you jump, but you cover it up with a small snicker.
"Can you give that back?" You mumble, "I wasn't finished." You go to grab the phone, but she's too quick for you, her hand slamming on top of it.
For a moment, you stay there looking at each other, and you don't know what to say. You weren't used to any of this. This was what you wanted for so long, for her to be looking at you in this way. She's livid. You swallow hard, refusing to be the first to break eye contact; you want to show her that you're not intimidated. Though your body's reactions definitely tell a different story.
"All night," she begins slowly, "you have been testing me."
You feel yourself ache at her voice, and you shift in your seat, crossing your legs tighter together in a desperate attempt to find some relief.
"I literally didn't do anything," you say, brushing her off like she isn't setting your entire body alight just by looking at you.
Her jaw tightens, teeth gritting together as she walks over to you, and you instinctively cower under her as she looks down at you. "Firstly, I told you not to wear this. You do it anyway." She grabs the collar of the shirt you're wearing and gives it a rough, dismissive tug, the fabric slipping back down your skin. "Then, at dinner, you barely look at me. Only at Kika. ¿Por qué?"
You lean back, trying to create more of a distance between you so you can breathe, but she's having none of it.
"Contéstame." (Answer.)
Your eyes drift to her hand gripping the edge of the counter, then back to her face before replying. "I'm always like this with Kika. I don't know why you're being so weird for."
"Weird?" Her tone drips with mockery; it sends a shock through your veins, and you use all your strength not to react. "What is weird is how you think whoring yourself around all night is normal behaviour."
Oh.
Your cheeks burn up in an instant, and your heartbeat slams against your chest. You search in her eyes for regret or anything to suggest she didn't mean that. There's nothing.
"¿Qué es?" Her face lowers to your level, and your breath hitches ever so slightly. "You don't agree?"
You say nothing.
"You let her put her hands on you, mi niña." She says softly, a stark contrast to how she was just talking to you. The sudden change makes your head spin a bit. "Right in front of me. All night. Did you like that?"
"I—No."
"Hm? Explícame entonces." (Explain it to me then.)
You shake your head as you go to stand up, "I'm not having this conversation right n—"
"You will stay where you are." She cuts you off calmly, but with that tinge of coldness that's making you throb painfully. "When I ask you something, you answer. ¿Sí?"
Before you realise, you're nodding as you look up at her.
"I just wanted—" Your gaze falls to your lap, ashamed of having to admit why you went to such lengths tonight and on all the occasions before. "It's just that…you're so kind."
Alexia laughs at you, and it's so unexpected that it makes your heart sink a bit.
"You threw yourself at my teammate because you think I'm kind? Dios mío, lo he escuchado todo." (My God, I've heard it all.)
"No!" You start, and you feel your face getting hotter by the second. None of this is working. "The problem is, you always treat me like I'm too delicate for anything else."
She doesn't say anything, so you take that as a sign to continue.
"I love the way you love me, more than anything." Alexia's eyes soften for a brief second, but you catch it. "It's just that sometimes… I wish you wouldn't hold back so much in other ways."
The silence stretches for a while, with the faint buzzing of the fridge accompanied by the noise of your heartbeat in your ears, consuming you. All of it feels overwhelming as you wait for your girlfriend to say something.
Her brow furrows and her head tilts, as if she's letting the words settle in her mind before she responds.
"So tonight you play games with me? To make me angry? That's what you want?"
You sit up, your back straightening as you try to appear more in control of the situation.
"I wanted you to fucking look at me." You spit out, pushing yourself to your feet. She's still towering over you, but not as much.
There’s a flicker of disbelief in her eyes, and it only makes the smugness in your chest grow. You're going to see how far you can go before she fully snaps.
"Kika paid more attention to me tonight than you have in weeks." You tilt your head as you get close to her, your voice as challenging as the look in your eyes. "Maybe I enjoyed that, so what?"
The air between the two of you thickens, and you can almost see the remaining thread of restraint she was holding on to snap completely.
"Bedroom." She demands sharply, and for once, you don't have anything smart to say back.
Without realising, you take a small step back. Alexia stays there, unmoving, whilst her fury radiates off her body. You know you should be feeling at least a drop of remorse, but you can't bring yourself to. This side of Alexia is turning you on so much, and you don't want it to stop.
"Not asking again. Go."
The urge to defend yourself, to anger her even more, is so strong, but instead, you find yourself turning around and obeying her. She grabs your phone before her eyes return to you, burning into the back of your head as you walk down the hallway. Whilst you're trying to hide the biggest smile on your face.
╌──═❁═──╌
"Get on the bed." Her voice is so stern it rocks you to your core, and you do as she says. Sitting on the edge of the bed, looking at her as she makes her way towards you after throwing your phone onto the nightstand.
Before anything escalates, you think about apologising. You probably took it too far, and you don't want this to get out of hand. "Alexia, I—"
"Cállate." Her hand grips your jaw firmly, locking you in place as you look up at her. You don't even want to blink; the thought of momentarily slipping out of her gaze makes you tremble.
"You're going to listen to everything I say," she says slowly. "I'm in control."
You nod obediently, still a bit restricted by her tight grip on your chin.
Her fingers loosen on you, and you let out an exhale without realising. She trails two of her fingers to your lips, prodding at them gently, and you open them without her having to ask you. Her long, slender fingers fill your mouth, your eyes rolling back a bit as they venture deeper toward your throat. She keeps her eyes locked onto yours, and you don't dare to look away.
"Así," she praises you softly as her fingers push deeper into your mouth, testing how far you can take her. Tears prick at your eyes as she fully has you at your limits, but you couldn't think of complaining in the slightest. Her gaze pins you in place, and the fading memory of the power you had over Alexia earlier is now fully replaced with your aching need for her to make you forget about your antics altogether.
A low chuckle makes your eyes flutter. "Mírate, baby." (Look at you, baby.) The fingers in your mouth press roughly down onto your tongue, opening your mouth wider as she smiles down at you. "You do know how to listen, after all."
She nods her head over to the pillows, and you take the hint and shuffle back on the bed. Her fingers slip out of your mouth, and your small whine at the loss of contact doesn't fall on deaf ears; the older woman smirks at the sound as she waits for you to lie down.
Her fingers loosening the buttons of your shirt are hurried and lacking care. Your stomach tightens at how she hasn't asked you if you're okay or for your permission, which she always made sure to never skip over. As she pulls the shirt off your body, your mind starts to race, wondering what she's planning to do to you. If any of this is an indication, you know she isn't going to take it easy on you. Wordlessly, she unclasps your bra, and you hear the faintest growl rise from her throat as she takes the sight of you in.
She lifts and removes her shirt, leaving her in her sports bra. You can't help but trail your eyes over her toned body and the way each muscle tightens with even the smallest of movements.
You're not so subtle as you think, and she notices your new distraction, "Mírame." (Look at me.)
The way her eyes darken as you finally look back at her makes you shiver. The heat of her gaze on you is so intoxicating that you barely notice her hands moving to take your shorts off until she yanks them down with a single, swift pull. Hooking her fingers into the waistband of your underwear, she tugs them down with zero regard. A small rip sound pulls you out of your daze, and you catch a glimpse of the ruined fabric before she bunches it up in her hands and throws it behind her.
"Ale…" The desperation in your voice almost makes her lose her focus, and you can see her gaze soften for a millisecond before it snaps right back.
Before you're able to comment on it, two fingers roughly enter your pussy, and a scream rips from your throat. Her free hand grips your thigh as she spreads your legs wider with every thrust; it almost hurts. Each muscle in your legs being tested to their limits whilst she shows you no mercy.
"This is what you wanted, ¿sí?" Her deep voice cuts through your mind's haze. The pace of her fingers not letting up as each movement dragging against the walls of your cunt starts to make you lightheaded. All you can muster are whines and whimpers, which only infuriate her more.
A low groan escapes her as she keeps her eyes on your tear-filled ones. "¿Así que ahora no puedes hablar? What happened, preciosa?" (So now you can't talk?)
You whine quietly, trying to catch your breath as her thrusts slow down.
It's impossible to form a single coherent thought, let alone say it out loud, and from the way she's looking at you, it's obvious to her that you're close to your limit.
Not that Alexia cares.
The loss of her fingers hits you like a brick wall, and you feel a lone tear roll down your face as the pent-up frustration and desperation of tonight lash through your body. You can feel the painful throb of your untouched clit as the cold air swirls over it, but you know better than to do anything about it. Alexia moves off the bed without even giving you a second look before opening a drawer, and you see her holding her harness. Everything is fine until the toy she grabs isn't your usual one. No, instead it's one you've never even seen before. It looks way too big, almost obscenely large. In that moment, it finally hits you just how pissed she is at you. You feel your mouth go dry as she steps into the harness, pulling it over her muscular thighs and adjusting it to her liking. The silicone looks huge even in her hands, which is enough to make you tremble by itself.
As she makes her way towards you, your legs instinctively open wider, which elicits a low chuckle from her.
"No, amor." She coos as she stands near the edge of the bed, "Get me ready first."
It takes you a few seconds to understand what she means, and you hurriedly get off the bed, falling to your knees in front of her, and finally, you can see the sheer size of what she wants to fuck you with.
A wave of fear strikes you, and you start shaking your head, your skin burning up as the seconds tick by.
"Ale, I can't—" A shaky exhale leaves you as she edges closer to you. "That's too—"
"You will take it, cariño." Her long fingers wrap around the tip of the dildo to begin with, gradually sliding down the length as she strokes it in front of you. No matter what you say, you know there's no getting out of this.
She gently prods the head at your lips, and you reluctantly part them as she pushes herself in slowly. As she goes deeper, you can feel your jaw trembling from the strain, and your eyes meet hers in a desperate plea for her to go slower. A smile tugs at her lips as she reaches down to your cheek, stroking the warm skin tenderly as her hips move forward, plunging herself deeper into your throat.
"¿Te gusta eso?" (Do you like that?) The way she's speaking to you makes you feel so small, so powerless. With every word of hers, you feel your arousal dripping down your thighs and pooling onto the floor beneath you.
A raw, muffled noise from you catches her attention, and her jaw tightens subtly, and even in your daze, you notice. She watches as your cheeks bulge with each of her thrusts, the way you struggle around her, but are still so eager to take it all.
"Eso es…" (That's it...) She says through gritted teeth, "Solo tómalo." (Just take it.)
Your nails dig into her thigh, desperately trying to ground yourself as she continues to ravage your mouth. A sharp hiss breaks from her throat as she fists her hand in your hair, forcing herself deeper in your mouth as her movements grow rougher and more fluid. Each inch presses down on your tongue, the width and weight of it impossible to ignore.
It's so overwhelming, even more so when you feel the tip teasing the back of your throat. Each thrust makes it harder for you to breathe, but you don't stop, even with the burning feeling crawling over your chest; you want to show Alexia how much you want her.
It's almost as if she notices, and her movements start to lessen, the grip in your hair loosening.
"Tranquila…" She murmurs, and you feel her move away from you, the strap shifting out of your mouth, and you feel painfully empty all of a sudden. A thin trail of spit connects you both before she fully pulls away, and you gasp as you try to catch your breath.
Alexia doesn't move, nor does she speak up just yet. Instead, her eyes stay on you, her head tilting as she takes all of you in — analysing the damage she has done to you. The curve of her smile is so taunting, and you swear you shrink under it without even meaning to.
Her thumbs swipe at the tears that roll down your face, not from pain but quite the opposite. You need her so badly. To take you in any way she wants, however hard she wants. All you want is to feel her.
"Do you regret it?" She asks calmly as she strokes your hair idly, and you start to get lost in the feeling before she clears her throat, reminding you that she is, in fact, still here.
You know she's expecting you to have learnt your lesson, to say sorry, and promise you won't act the way you have been again. Honestly, you're not really in the position to be pissing her off even more right now. As you swallow hard, you look down at her strap and the way it glistens with your saliva in the low light of your bedroom. When you look back at her, she's smiling more, knowing she has you right where she wants you.
"No."
Her smile drops in an instant, and the delicate hand stroking your head stops in its place.
"Súbete a la cama." (Get on the bed) She says gruffly, and it takes you a moment to understand what she said.
The pain in your knees tears through your body as you stand up, every single joint in your legs screaming at you in the process. You don't know how she wants you, so you play it safe and lie on your back, waiting for her next move.
"Aun después de todo eso, sigues sin aprender." (Even after all that, you still don't learn.)
You start to open your mouth, but the glare she shoots at you warns you to shut your mouth, so you do exactly that.
Alexia kneels onto the bed, not in a hurry and clearly wanting to make you suffer for as long as possible. She moves towards you, and you sink further back into the pillow beneath you, as if trying to create more of a distance between the two of you. Alexia is having none of it, though. She traces the line of your jaw before tightening her hold, commanding your attention.
"If you want to act like a slut," her voice is so soft despite her strong hold on your chin, "then you should be fucked like one."
The room felt as if it was spinning; all you could feel was the dull throbbing between your legs and how empty your pussy felt. How badly you needed her to completely wreck you.
"Get on your knees."
You obey, you don't even try to answer back. It's a struggle to keep yourself steady in this position; your muscles feel like they're on fire.
A hiss spills from her lips as she studies every inch of you, bent over and trembling as you wait for her to touch you. A very lovely reminder of who has control. Her hand strokes the curve of your ass warmly, trailing down to your drenched cunt, and she spreads you a bit more, wanting to see all of you. The silence in the room is so thick you can feel your heartbeat thumping in your ears, as each touch of hers feels as if it is singeing your skin.
"Mírate, mi amor…" A lone finger trails down your pussy, your arousal coating her finger with ease. "All of this just from having me in your mouth and touching you a little, hm?" She chuckles, the sound low and mocking. Your face heats up from embarrassment, and you let out a sound of protest, which isn't acknowledged much to your dismay.
A warm hand presses into the small of your back, making you arch until you're almost face down on the bed. The head of the dildo is at your entrance, and before you're able to brace yourself, she slams herself inside you, not bothering to let you adjust to the thickness at all. You tried your best not to scream; instead, a strained cry tore from your throat as your fingers dug desperately into the sheets beneath you. Nothing could've prepared you for the sheer force with which she was driving into your cunt. You had taken her like this before, but the size of the strap and just how hard she was fucking you was nearly pushing you past your limit.
The obscene sound of your cunt wrapping around her filled your ears, accompanied by the low grunts coming from the older woman's mouth as she pounded you without stopping. A sharp slap on your ass makes your hips unintentionally buck towards the harness, and somehow more of it slips inside you.
"You're taking all of it, mi niña." She sounds equally proud and turned on, both of which make your head spin, as you can barely focus on anything other than how full you feel.
You feel her lean over you, her breath hot against your ear as she speaks, and you can hear the smile on her lips, "Do you like having your pussy full like this?"
A fragmented noise between a moan and a cry leaves your lips as she continues to fuck you relentlessly. As she leans back, her fingers wrap around your hair, twisting it around her fist as she yanks back sharply. You're flush against her, and at this angle, you somehow feel your cunt stretch even wider as she sinks deeper inside you.
"Así, cariño," her free hand reaches around you, her fingers rolling over your hardening nipple, and you start to feel lightheaded at every sensation filling your senses. You wanted to hold out for longer, try to show her that you couldn't be ruined so easily, but it was impossible. Your body was betraying you before your mind got the chance to catch up.
Her teeth graze your shoulder lightly at first, and a shiver ripples through you as she deepens the bite. The feel of her tongue soothing the deep mark on your skin has your eyes rolling back, your stomach coiling tightly at the sensation. She kisses your shoulder a couple of times before harshly pushing you forward, and your arms completely give out as you collapse into the sheets. She slows her pace, letting you recover just a little before pulling out of you completely. One of her hands crashes down against your ass once more, and you yelp, your voice raw and almost gone, which brings a smile to the older woman's lips.
"Boca arriba," (On your back,) her stern words are an order, and you know you have no way out of this, even if you're feeling this exhausted.
With shaky arms, you manage to push yourself off the bed and roll onto your back. Upon seeing her face, you feel a familiar rush of heat flooding through you and down to your core. Something about the way she keeps you in her sight makes all of this so much more overwhelming. Your gaze drops, and you see the strap gleaming in the low light — the evidence of what she's done to you.
During your daze, you feel her strong hands on your knees, spreading your legs wider until no part of you is hidden from gaze.
"Alexia…" You breathe out pathetically, and her eyes snap to yours, and the rest of your words catch in your throat, unable to escape.
She responds with a hum, the faintest curve tugging at her mouth.
"Please, I need—" A whine escapes your lips as her thumb roughly meets your swollen clit, pressing down firmly as she feels the skin throb beneath her.
"No me importa." (I don't care.) A sharp slap meets your clit, and it makes you cry out, the sting making your eyes prick with tears again as they threaten to fall. Her expression hardens as she watches you, the brief calm from moments ago now replaced with the same simmering anger she had been enveloped in all evening.
You don't get a chance to talk because she's already lining the silicone to your cunt before burying herself inside you again. Every inch hugged your walls as she slid further inside, and if it weren't for her grip on your thighs, you'd be trembling more.
Each thrust pulls another obscene sound from your throat, along with the sound of your pussy as it swallows every single inch of the woman above you.
"Debería follarte así más a menudo." (I should fuck you like this more often.)
The words feel like electricity hitting you, and your body replies for you as you snap your hips upward, defiantly trying to chase the thickness buried in your cunt.
"Did you enjoy acting like a whore all night?" She asks you as she groans deeply, the harness of the strap rubbing against her own clit furiously. In that moment, you're truly looking at her, and you can see just how turned on she is. Even if this was supposed to be a lesson to teach you to act right, it was obvious she was enjoying it just as much, if not more than you were.
At first, you laugh before it fractures off into a high-pitched moan as she lifts one of your legs over her shoulder, the new angle stretching you wider.
"What if I did?" You challenge her as you breathe out raggedly, and you feel her thrusts stutter for a beat before she moves closer to your face.
Her hand finds your jaw, holding you softly as she makes you look at her.
"¿Ah, sí? You're still going?"
You lean into her hand on your face, and her eyes soften unexpectedly, and her thumb strokes the skin there as her movements are slower but still reach you deep. All through this, your soft moans fill her ears, and she fights herself to try and stay angry. Yet, the sight of you—flushed and irrevocably hers—makes her stomach flip.
Her thumb glides over your bottom lip, a tender contrast to everything else. Without her needing to ask, you part your lips, and she slips it inside. It's as if your eagerness sets her off all over again, as her hips begin to move again, almost erratically.
"Dios, eres increíble." (God, you're amazing.)
An amused hum rumbles from your throat as your tongue swirls around the pad of her thumb, sucking it in a little deeper as you lock eyes. The way her lips are parted, as she tries to catch her breath, tells you all you need to know. She's trying her hardest to stay in control, but as each moment passes by, it continues to slip from her grasp ever so slightly.
"All of this," she begins hoarsely, "belongs to me, amor." Her thumb slips out from your mouth, and you pant quietly, catching your breath. A spark of defiance flashes across your eyes as you bite your lip before you speak.
"Are you sure?" You whisper, half as a taunt and half in a plea.
For a heartbeat, neither of you says anything. The air between you becomes charged, and Alexia surges forward. Her mouth crashes against yours, messy and urgent as her tongue expertly rubs against your own. You moan into her mouth, each sound spilling from your tongue uncontrollably and begging as each roll of her hips sends vibrations through your cunt as it desperately clenches around the thick girth of the silicone. Your fingers thread into her head as you pull her closer, attempting to meet her force equally, but each time you fall short. Lips wrap hungrily around your tongue, sucking possessively, making you subconsciously clench even more around the dildo slamming inside you. A strained moan leaves your mouth and slips into Alexia's before she pulls away suddenly to get a better look at you.
"Solo yo puedo follarte así." (Only I can fuck you like this.) Each word is punctuated by a snap of her hips against yours, and you can subtly feel a low heat building up gradually in your stomach.
"Say it."
A pleading sob leaves you as her thumb strokes your clit again, and you feel your eyes roll back slightly. "O-only you."
"Only I what?" It's humiliating. You feel so exposed and completely under her control, and you know this is all you've ever wanted.
"Only you can fuck me like this," you manage to repeat, and the smile on her lips sends a jolt through you.
"Muy buena."
Her mouth finds yours again, softer this time, without the urgency of before. She wants to savour all of you, her lips brushing against yours with a type of tender possessiveness you're not sure you've ever experienced before.
There's a slight change in angle as she moves inside you, and it has you crying out against her lips, your pussy clamping down hard on her strap in strong pulses. The sound of your cunt being ravaged, accompanied by the sinful noises erupting from your throat, has Alexia's body shuddering against you.
"Joder, mi amor." Her words dissolve into a low guttural moan as the harness grinds against her throbbing clit, the splintering heat of her orgasm wrecking her more than she anticipated. As your body convulses underneath her, you feel the wind ripped from your lungs at the sight above you; each raw and uncontrolled sound that falls off the older woman's tongue has you feeling dizzy. You've never seen her like this — so utterly consumed to the point where she has lost herself like this. Without wasting any time, you cup her cheek tenderly, and she leans into your hand, her eyes half-lidded and still so full of love.
A tired laugh falls from your mouth, and she smiles at you before leaning in and capturing your lips in hers, slower and unhurried. Your moans from before are now tapering off into content hums, mingling with her faint groans as her hips rock slowly into yours. When she finally pulls back, her forehead rests against yours. Her thumb strokes delicate circles on your jaw before leaning down to kiss the warm skin there.
"No sabes lo que me haces," (You don't know what you do to me,) she utters quietly, sounding completely drained, and you can definitely relate.
A breath of laughter escapes you, and you nuzzle her cheek gently as you say, "I think I have a pretty decent idea…"
Before she's able to reply, you move your hips upwards, and the small contact makes her gasp slightly before she lets out an amused groan. Her lips hover above yours before she whispers a small, "Eres imposible." (You're impossible.)
It's a short-lived kiss, but it's just about what you can handle in your current state. Eventually, Alexia pulls back, her eyes trailing downwards between your bodies. Her gaze lingers on the aftermath of it all for a few moments, wanting to appreciate the number she did on you. Then, at an agonising pace, her hips begin to move away from yours. She drags herself out of you in a way so that you can feel every last inch leave your tightness. A broken sound catches in your throat, something between a gasp and a moan, as you feel your cunt clench as if to keep her in you just a bit longer. The emptiness you feel is almost too much, and you watch as you're finally separated, not realising how hard you're breathing.
Another thing you don't realise is that Alexia's eyes are back on your face again. Her breathing falls into a steady rhythm, a sharp contrast to your own, but her expression tells another story altogether. The way her lips curl into that smug grin of hers, accompanied by that ever-present simmering heat that seems to be building the more you both keep quiet.
"You need to stop doing that," you sigh, lazily covering your eyes with your forearm to break the intense eye contact. She chuckles to herself, and you feel her get up off the bed, presumably to clean herself up first—leaving you until last because it's always her favourite. You go to turn onto your side with a loud groan as you feel your entire body aching so much, to the point where you're not sure you'll be able to physically get up without help.
Alexia watches you fondly whilst she wipes down the silicone, smiling to herself, amused as you continue to grumble your many complaints. She's about to say something cocky, but a flash of light on the nightstand steals her attention. It's your phone, with a new notification. Seemingly, you're still too out of it to notice, so she types in your password to see who on earth could be bothering you at this hour.
11:57 PM
Kika: I really didn't mind staying… I could've gone for another round of UNO if you know what I meannnn ^.^
You: Do you want me to die or something
Kika: Is she pissed then? Did our hard work pay off?? ;)
—
1:24 AM
Kika: Your lack of reply tells me all I need to know
Kika: And you're welcome btw!!! I'm here all week
She stands there, staring at the screen in silence for a few long seconds. A muscle in her jaw ticks as she feels the calm wash away from her completely.
"Cariño…"
You turn onto your right side with a confused mumble, and then your eyes drop to her hands. Your heart almost flies out of your mouth.
The older woman drops your phone back onto the nightstand with a dull thud before turning away to walk over to the drawers, picking up her harness again.
"Babe, let me explain fir—"
She cuts you off flatly. "Get back on your knees."