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“Jesus Christ, Prongs. You can’t wear that! It’s obscene. Give them to me instead.”
Remus almost chokes on his water. James is wearing the tiniest pair of swimming trunks he has ever seen and they show, well, everything.
“Excuse me, Padfoot, but do you have a hot quidditch bod? No. My trunks are going to turn all the girl’s heads.”
“Yeah, in the other direction,” Lily snorts. Remus chokes again. This glass of water is proving to be something of a health hazard.
James shrugs off the insults. James Potters is blessed with endless body confidence, and Remus hates him for it a little bit. It’s not that he has any issues with his own body, per say – he’s a healthy weight, lightly muscled – he’s even got abs, just about – but his whole body is ravaged by scars and no matter what shape he is, that doesn’t change. He hates the pool.
“Ready, Moony?” Sirius flops down in the seat beside him. He’s changed into his own shorts, which are thankfully a little less revealing than James. Remus shrugs. He’d not outright objected to their excursion to the local outdoor pool, but he’d hardly championed the idea either.
Sirius looks at him, and Remus feels the heat rise in his cheeks. Sirius has this way of staring at him that makes him feel like his skin has been peeled off. He’s never figured out if it’s actually Sirius, or if it’s his own ridiculous hyperawareness of his friend, but it’s intense nonetheless. Sirius rests a hand on Remus’ arm, and Remus feels it like a burn, even through the thick wool of his sweater.
“It’ll be fun. I promise. Oh, and I got you something.” He bends down to rummage in the bag beside the table, emerging triumphant with a bundle of black fabric. “Rash vest,” he says. “It’s, um, long sleeved, so you know… if you were worried about your scars. Not that I think you should cover them or anything, because they are totally awesome and a symbol of your strength and all, but… if you wanted to and… shit, I’ll shut up.” Sirius looks down at his hands, and Remus catches his flushed cheeks, and his heart skips. Fuck these stupid, useless feelings.
“Thanks, Pads,” he murmurs, taking the shirt. His fingers brush the back of Sirius hand, and he lets them linger there for just a second. He hadn’t been planning on swimming, but if it’s just his legs on show, he might be OK – leg hair goes a long way towards disguising scars.
“Padfoot, stop mooning over Moony and get your arse in the car.”
“Aw, shit, you’re not driving are you? We’ll never make it alive.”
Lily places a comforting hand on James shoulder.
“I passed my muggle test and everything. I only hit one pedestrian, and a quick obliviate fixed that just fine. There’s nothing to worry about.”
Remus catches Sirius eye, and pulls an expression of mock terror. Sirius snorts, and Remus feels warmth spread through him. “You know that is about fifty shades of illegal, right James?”
“Hey, it’s only illegal if they catch you.”
“I don’t think that’s quite how the law works, James,” Lily says, but she is smiling. Much like Remus, Lily’s morals go out the window when James and Sirius are concerned. They used to be model students.
They all pile into James’ tiny muggle car – he refused to cast charms to enlarge the interior for reasons unknown to the rest of them (something about an authentic experience). He was planning a road trip next summer and Remus fully intended to expand the backseat with or without his permission.
As it stands, Lily takes the passenger seat, and Sirius and Remus squish into the backseat, which is really not big enough for two fully grown human males. Sirius thigh is pressed against Remus’ and he closes his eyes briefly, trying to summon up the will power to ignore the warmth. And then Sirius throws and arm around his shoulder and rests his head on his shoulder and damn him, damn him to hell and back for being the most affectionate human on the planet. Sirius black and personal space have never crossed paths.
“Moony?” he says, and his breath tickles his neck, and Remus is not sure he’ll be able to formulate a coherent answer to whatever question he’s going to ask.
“Will you swim?” he says.
He wants to say no, because he always says no, but he makes the mistake of glancing at Sirius and seeing his eyes, large and brown and hopeful, and fuck, how can he see no when it would ruin that expression?
“OK?” he says.
“Yay,” Sirius murmurs, and he sounds distracted, and then Remus feels the briefest press of lips to his neck and holy shit did he imagine that or did Sirius Black just secretly kiss him in the backseat of James’ car.
He says nothing, and he can’t look at Sirius, because the sudden surge of fear and hope is far too evident on his face. He clenches his fist.
They troupe into the pool, and the pool attendant does a double take at James’ shorts. James just winks and struts around for a little while before Sirius runs up to him and shoves him bodily into the water. The two of them vanish under with a loud shriek and a splash that displaces most of the pool. Lily rolls her eyes at Remus, but he’s still buzzing from that brief, maybe-not-real kiss, so he shrugs and leaps in after them.
Sirius pops up and grins at him, a white toothed beam that almost makes him forget how to swim. “You’re swimming! You can swim!”
Remus rolls his eyes. “Of course I can swim, you idiot.”
“Race me then. If you win I’ll get you an ice-cream after.”
“Shouldn’t we ask James to compete in this race?”
“Pffttt. Then we’d both lose. Besides, I only want to buy you ice-cream.”
“Um.”
“Three, two, one- go!” Sirius shouts, and Remus swallows his awkwardness and swims, losing himself to the joy of it, the push and pull, the way his body cuts through the water. He beats Sirius easily, and surfaces in the shallow end, laughing. Sirius reaches the side, gasping.
“Bloody hell, Moony. Do you swim laps of the lake or something? Race the giant squid?”
“I like chocolate best,” Remus says, smug.
“I know,” Sirius says, grinning. Que yet another heart flip-flop.
Sirius is stood close to hit, close enough for their arms to brush. He can’t feel Sirius wet skin through the rash vest, but he gets goosebumps nonetheless.
“So. James shorts.” Remus says, to make conversation.
Sirius snorts. “Prongs. His body confidence almost makes them work.”
“Almost.”
Sirius laughs and glances at him. His hair is plastered to his face, and water droplets slowly slide down his cheeks. Remus is gone. Sirius touches the sleeve of his shirt. “It fits then?”
“Yeah.”
“Looks good,” he says, casually, and Remus lets his mind think what it’s been dying to think since they sat in the kitchen. Maybe, just maybe, Sirius feels the same way.
“You don’t look so bad yourself,” Remus replies, and there’s no way that isn’t flirting, because Sirius is dripping and mostly naked.
“So, ice-cream?” Sirius asks.
“What, now? We only just got here.”
“I don’t think they’ll miss us,” he says, gesturing to Lily and James, who are alternating between splashing each other and gazing into each others eyes. Remus mimes gagging, and Sirius smirks.
“Alright,” he says, hauling himself out of the pool. He doesn’t miss Sirius eyes on his body, and for once he doesn’t mind so much.
He finds Sirius outside the pool, leaning against a wall. His hair is a tangled, damp mess around his head, and his cheeks are flushed. He beams when he sees Remus. “Ready?” he says. Remus reaches for his jumper, but Sirius places a hand on his arm. “It’s boiling, Moony. Besides, that t-shirt looks good on you.”
Remus frowns down at his t-shirt, a faded black one with a handful of holes in. “Really?” he says doubtfully. It shows far too much of his arms, including the criss-crossing scars that line the insides of his wrists, and the jagged network of silver lines that cover the rest of his arms.
“Really,” Sirius says. “Besides, who cares if people stare?”
I do, Remus thinks, but then he catches Sirius looking at him again, and he thinks maybe he can take a few strangers frowns if it means Sirius keeps smiling like that. They start walking, and Remus glances down at their hands, inches apart.
Fuck it, he thinks, and grabs Sirius’ hand. Sirius fingers curl through his own instantly, and Remus bites his lip to keep from beaming. He glances shyly at Sirius, and is rewarded with Sirius grin.
“So…” he murmurs.
“Ice-cream, Moony. Ice cream.”
Later then. Sirius thumb traces patterns over his knuckles.
They sit in a tiny café, and Sirius orders to giant sundaes – triple chocolate for Remus, strawberry and vanilla for himself. They eat slowly, and Remus can’t quite take his eyes of Sirius. He can’t quite believe that this seems to be real, that they are on the verge of something more than friendship, that Sirius feet are tangled with his own, that Sirius is grinning at him and saying he has nice hands whilst leaning over to steal some of Remus’ ice cream off his spoon.
Remus licks the last bit of ice-cream of the spoon, and Sirius watches him. Remus blushes, because the sharing of the spoon feels as intimate as a kiss somehow.
They pay the bill and emerge back into the sunshine.
“Lily and James will be looking for us soon,” he says.
Sirius just laughs. “You know he has no objections to enlarging the backseat when the two of them are alone, right?”
“Gross, Sirius. Don’t make me think about that.”
“Here. There’s a park down here. It’s nice.”
“A park?”
Sirius rolls his eyes. “Not like swings and shit. You know, a fancy one – roses and all that.”
“Roses.”
“Never say I didn’t woo you, Moony.”
Remus blushes. It is indeed a fancy park – a quiet winding path with green trees sheltering it, grass circles with fancy flower beds and hedges carved into strange shapes. They walk for a little while, until Sirius stops at a bench. “Sit with me?” he asks, and Remus misses a heartbeat. He sits beside Sirius, not making the effort to leave a few inches between them as he normally would. Sirius leans against him, and Remus can smell the shampoo he used at the pool – citrusy, sharp, invigorating.
“Woo me?” he says.
“Well, I don’t buy rash vests and ice cream for all my friends, you know.”
“You’ve only got about three friends.”
“You are so mean.”
Remus grins and nudges Sirius. “I like you really, you know.”
Sirius grins, and his mouth is ever so close to Remus cheek, and if he turned to the left, just a little, there’d only be a few millimetres between their mouths.
“Do you?” he whispers, and he’s asking the question they’ve been dodging. Is this real? Are they really going to do this?
“Yes,” he murmurs.
“Moony? Can I kiss you please?”
“Please do,” he says, and he’s not shy now, because Sirius looks at him like he’s everything, and his fingers are resting against Remus’ jaw.
“Alright,” Sirius says, brushing his lips against Remus. Remus lets his eyes drift shut as he leans closer, pressing their mouths together.
The sun is warm on his shoulders, and he can feel the damp curls of Sirius hair against his neck, and Sirius is kissing him, slow and gentle, and it is hard to convince himself that this is not a dream.
“You’re an excellent kisser, Moony,” Sirius says when they pull apart. “10/10 would kiss again. On a daily basis. As a boyfriend type arrangement.”
Remus snorts. “Boyfriend type arrangement? Is that how you’re asking me out?”
“Look, I exhausted all my wooing energy already. Give me a break.”
“Alright. I accept your proposal of a boyfriend type arrangement. Does this mean it’s acceptable for me to tell you how attractive you look in that shirt? And that your hair smells really nice?”
Sirius grins. “I’m a big fan of this boyfriend arrangement.”
Remus takes his hand. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. I’m still going to nag you about your homework and your refusal to wash your own clothes.”
They sit quietly for a moment, and Remus takes note of the way the dappled sunlight falls across Sirius’ face, highlighting his nose and cheekbones.
“So… James and Lily… do we…”
“Tell them?” Sirius says. “I mean, they both know we’re both a long way from straight. And honestly I think they deserve a little pda being thrown back in their faces after their incessant smooching this summer… but if you…”
Remus grins. “I don’t want to keep this a secret,” he says, tracing his fingers across Sirius thigh. “Plus, he’s inevitably going to walk in on us anyway. It’s James. Is a door a barrier to him? No.”
“True.”
“So… it’s official then… we’re…”
Sirius leaps up, dragging Remus with him. “Remus Lupin is my boyfriend!” he grins, spinning them around wildly.
“You’re daft,” he says. “Let’s go interrupt Lily and James public indecency.”
“Ok but first,” Sirius pulls Remus close. “Can I kiss you again?”
“You don’t have to ask, Sirius.”
“I like asking. Because I like you saying yes.”
“Alright. Yes then.”
Sirius kisses him, and Remus forgets how his lungs work.