Archive of Our Own

“First, I must unravel every part of you.”

The words had Pin wrapped around Anil's finger in an instant; voice like honey oozing into her skin and glossing over her eyes.

It had been so long since they had last been together. So, torturously long.

Every miserable day for endless, agonising months, Pin reflected on the choices she'd made with a persistent, nauseating churn in the pit of her stomach. Relentless guilt would bear down on her, crawling up her spine, waiting for the day she would finally crack.

The day had been close. It had nearly driven her to insanity. She wouldn't have survived much longer, living such a life. Not only the repercussions of barely eating, but she had convinced herself—had started to hope—that her heart could only take so much anguish before ultimately giving up on her.

But here she was. Miraculously sitting in front of Anil in the comfort of her bedroom – and they were alone. Pin could scarcely remember how she had even made it there, feeling in a dreamlike state of mind, trying to grasp the concept of never leaving each other's side again, all while Anil was in the midst of seducing her.

Anil, whose hands were now grasping Pin's shoulders, pulling her from her string of thoughts and pushing her gently backwards into the mattress with a quiet thud.

A small hitched breath fell from her lips as Anil lowered her body, the weight sparking a flicker of anticipation in her gut. Anil leaned in, eyes focused solely on Pin's lips with the intention of devouring her.

It took all of Pin's strength to hold back, instead choosing to sneak a hand between their faces to press against Anil's soft, wanting lips. Wide eyes looked down at her, questioning, the momentary panic on her features causing Pin to stifle a giggle.

“I love you, Anil,” she stated as the pad of her finger traced the shape of Anil's lips. She had memorised every single detail of them, from the curve of her bottom lip to her Cupid's bow, to the corners that quirked upwards as she noticed Pin's lingering eyes on them.

A thousand kisses Pin had placed there, yet her stomach fluttered as if it was about to be her first.

The perfect smile on Anil's face was almost enough to cure all the heartache she had endured. Pin had missed her smile more than words could possibly describe, her body blooming with affection when Anil replied, “I love you too, Pin.”

Waiting for their lips to meet felt like a lifetime. Such a profound relief washed over her when they finally met, she had to reach out and clasp Anil's shoulder to stop herself from levitating. It was too good to be true.

They parted briefly, breaths mingling as they shared a smile before closing the gap once more. A lack of patience had Pin's tongue slipping past Anil's lips instantaneously, her hand drifting across Anil's cheek as she licked into her mouth, sighing contently at the familiar taste she had spent so many sleepless nights yearning for.

After attempting to take her bottom lip between her teeth, Anil broke the kiss. And, for a haunting second, Pin felt the pang of dread in the pit of her stomach that she had grown so used to expecting.

The beaming smile she was greeted with when she opened her eyes, however, was enough to wash away those thoughts as quickly as they came, instead replacing them with an overwhelming urge to make Anil understand just how much she adored her with every bone in her body. She needed her more than she'd needed anything else in her life—more than oxygen itself—so much that the weight of those thoughts were crushing her.

So, using the hand against Anil's neck, Pin surged forward, flipping them over with a strength she didn't know she had.

“Khun Pin,” Anil cried, equally taken aback. “You're still sick!”

“I'm suddenly feeling much better,” Pin said surprisingly calmly despite her racing heart. Seeing a flustered Anil beneath her stirred something deep within, the distant memory of binding her wrists with a flimsy cloth sending a rush of heat to Pin's abdomen. Losing all patience, she lowered her head to kiss Anil, making sure to put all her weight into it.

The strained sound from Anil's throat would have spurred her on further if it wasn't for the clenched fist on her blouse and the stilled hand against her cheek.

“Pin-” Anil began to say against her lips.

“I'm fine. Let me do this, please. It's been so long,” Pin pleaded. The craving to touch her was gnawing away at her insides, restless and famished.

She could see it in Anil's dark eyes too, reluctant, but similarly desperate to be touched, caressing Pin's cheek with her thumb as she slowly nodded. “Just take it easy, okay? We have time.”

The words echoed in her brain, but Pin was terrified of this all being a dream. The thought of sleeping made her blood run cold, almost paralysed with the fear of losing Anil when she would wake the following morning. She didn't want to dwell on that just yet, though. She couldn't. Not when Anil felt as real as Pin had always remembered. Not when she could feel the warmth of her body and see the life in her eyes that looked real enough to give Pin a glimmer of hope. The best way to distract herself from those dreaded thoughts was to give Anil everything she could—her heart, her body, her soul—while she was still conscious.

Hands drifted to the buttons on Anil's dress, unfastening them with deft fingers as her eyes flitted across Anil's features. Leaning in, she pressed a feather light kiss of reassurance to her bottom lip before trailing lower, dragging her lips to Anil's jawline. The familiar scent of perfume flooded her with memories before everything went wrong. She lingered there for a minute, reminiscing.

Oh, how they had been so naïve.

The sigh against her ear broke Pin from her train of thought, hooking a finger through the loose bow to ease it open. Taking her arms out of the sleeves, Anil settled back against the bed, dark hair fanning out across the duvet. The camisole she wore left little to the imagination, and Pin's mind grew hazy at what was waiting beneath.

“You look beautiful,” she said breathlessly, her heart fluttering. It was a sight so perfect, she wished she had a camera to capture the moment.

Smiling prettily, Anil brought her hands to Pin's chest to unbutton the rest of her blouse. Upon removing it, she paused briefly to feel the rapid thumping of her heart, and the warmth of her palm radiated straight into Pin's skin like she had caught a second fever. Instinctively, Pin tilted her head away and looked down, but Anil was having none of it; snaking a hand around her neck to pull her in for another kiss.

Their bodies slotted together like two pieces of a puzzle as Pin melted into her, wanting nothing more than to merge into one body until she couldn't define where she ended and Anil started. Restless fingers tugged at Anil's camisole, starving to get her hands on more skin. She could hardly think straight as she dragged the garment up Anil's torso and over her head, their lips only separating when forced apart.

She'd lived a thousand lives since they were last together. So much had changed, but when she looked at Anil's body, nothing had changed. It was exactly how Pin remembered it. The freckles and moles decorating her skin were still there, as they always had been, and as they always would be. She traced a finger over her favourite—in the centre of her chest, for no one's eyes but Pin's—before leaning down to seal it with a kiss.

She continued her path up to Anil's collarbone to the base of her neck, peppering kisses here and tasting skin there, not leaving an inch of skin untouched as her lips trailed back to her chest to leave an open-mouthed kiss where she could feel the rhythm of her heart. The whimper from Anil's throat was enough to make her dizzy; warmth settling in her gut as she wondered what other sounds she could draw out of her.

Anil's hands couldn't stay put either, moving from Pin's neck to her shoulders and down her back, trying to ground herself as Pin traced ever so slightly over her breast. It didn't take long before fingers were massaging her scalp, latching on to anything she could get her hands on when Pin's lips enveloped a nipple. She rolled her tongue against it, feeling it pebble beneath her, and suppressed a moan when Anil grabbed a fistful of hair.

Anil arched into her when she moved to the other side, the ragged breath with it sending Pin into a frenzy. She hadn't dared to even think about experiencing what they once had again; had shoved it so far in the back of her head, locked it and threw away the key that she had forgotten what it was like to feel such a carnal craving, an utmost desire to taste, to devour; to give her all the energy she had.

It scared her, having hidden this part of herself for this long. A side of her that only Anil was capable of coaxing out of her, now suddenly experiencing it again. It was startling, and it crashed into her like a brutal wave on a stormy night, all those forgotten, wanton sensations flooding back to her, drenching her from head to toe in a feverish sweat.

She sat up to throw off her underclothing, hoping it would cool her down a little. It didn't help whatsoever – only intensifying further when Anil's scalding hands ran up her bare sides and traced the curve of her breasts. She didn't stop there either, grazing both thumbs over hardened nipples, and Pin could do nothing but tilt her head back and accept her fate.

Anil's hands wandered further south, tracing the outline of her ribs as if to memorise each and every one of them. When or how she had taken the upper hand, Pin had no idea. But in that moment, she was willing to let it happen, following her line of sight as skittish fingers traced the waistband of Pin's skirt.

“Help me take this off,” Anil requested, her low voice causing a pleasant pull in Pin's abdomen. Before she could react, Anil had already started tugging the item of clothing over her hips. Pin offered as much help as she could, trying to kick the skirt off before losing balance. An unsteady hand managed to save her from toppling sideways, leaving the two of them in a sudden fit of giggles as Pin lowered herself back into Anil's embrace.

There was once a time where she had been self conscious of exposing herself to Anil, afraid of not being up to her standards after comparing herself to every other woman Anil had ever interacted with. A fleeting thought of those early doubts entered her head since so much time had passed, but the way Anil's eyes darkened when she let them wander shamelessly over Pin's body, with the messy kiss she initiated, had those doubts slipping through her fingers like sand.

Anil wasn't wasting any time, a hand already skimming down Pin's body to reach for her undergarments. There was a second in which Pin almost caved when familiar fingers traced over the pattern of her underwear. It was nearly paralysing, feeling Anil cup her clothed centre—a simultaneous gasp—the first flicker of relief she'd felt in months. But she had waited long enough for this. Too long. So, with a deep breath and a surge of courage, she reached down and pulled Anil's hand away.

She didn't give Anil any chance to question her, placing a chaste kiss to her lips before shuffling lower. Curious eyes watched as she inched her way down Anil's body, planting kisses between the valley of her breasts and over her stomach until she slipped off the edge of the bed and on to her knees. Anil's eyes widened, realisation setting in as Pin tugged at her legs.

“Are you...” Anil's voice trailed off as Pin eased her legs over the edge of the bed and settled between them, watching as the material of her dress rode up to her knees. The instant parting of them made her smile. She simply nodded, too distracted by what was waiting underneath to think of any words as her hand brushed across the fabric against Anil's legs, up her thighs and over her hips; savouring the moment.

The floor felt cold and hard against Pin's knees as she perched there, a stark contrast to the molten heat coursing through her veins. Fingers played with the material of the dress, taking hold of it when she felt Anil's hips raising. She dragged it over the delicate skin of her legs and watched as it pooled around her knees as if to cushion her discomfort.

Her eyes were immediately drawn to the damp patch on Anil's underwear, fixated on it with parted lips like she was under a spell that couldn't be broken. The mere thought of finally tasting her had the ache between Pin's thighs developing into a persistent throb, the heat between her own thighs starting to bother her.

She had thought about it for so painfully long, had come to terms with it never happening. Now she finally had it in front of her, she didn't know what to do with herself.

Instinct took over as she leaned forward to leave a kiss against each thigh, vaguely hearing Anil utter a curse under her breath.

Desire flooded out of every pore in Pin's body. She inched closer, grazing her nose along the soft skin and hovering over the material briefly before touching her lips there.

It was delicate. Timid, almost. Yet it had Pin's heart hammering so violently she thought it was going to leap out of her chest. She licked her lips instinctively; the smallest trace of desire. A hint of what was to come.

The apprehension was wreaking havoc in her mind. She couldn't wait any longer and neither could Anil, who was practically squirming with impatience as fingers hooked around her underwear. They were both overwhelmed beyond sanity, and Pin couldn't help but smile at the thought, helping drag the cloth down her legs.

Anil parted her legs, and the sight was enough for Pin to lose balance for the second time tonight. Glistening arousal gathered there, begging to be tasted, and Pin's mouth watered, an insatiable greed engulfing her like flames drawn to a forest fire in a dry summer heat.

Pin couldn't recall what she did next. All she knew was the weight of Anil's legs were now resting on her shoulders, pushing her knees further into the hard floor. The groan that forced its way out of her, however, wasn't from discomfort.

Looking up one more time, Pin reached a shaky hand to intertwine their fingers, other hand looping over Anil's thigh. Anil's eyes never broke from Pin's once, gazing at her through hooded lids as she held herself up on her elbows. She crossed her legs behind Pin's shoulders, pulling her so close she could nearly taste it. The scent knocked her light-headed, and Pin truly believed she was dreaming after all.

If the scent of Anil was enough to make her light-headed, then the taste of Anil was enough to send her to the afterlife. She was completely lost in every sensation; lost in the harsh sounds spilling from Anil's lips, lost in the heady taste and the scent of Anil's desire, lost in the heat of it, enough to leave Pin melting like the candles in the corner of the room. It was maddening.

She opened her mouth to taste more, tracing her tongue experimentally and relishing in Anil's grip on her hand; tensing with each changing pattern. And when she felt legs tighten around her shoulders, a distant thought ran in her mind.

How had she lasted so long without trying it?

Anil's body arched off the bed when Pin's lips wrapped around her, having to pin her down to the best of her ability. It was a religious experience, being on her knees for her, worshipping her like a goddess—in Pin's eyes she was—being the sole reason for her to be crumbling beneath her. The power was all in her hands and it was staggering. Her own core pulsed and she whimpered, the heat gathering between her own thighs becoming increasingly distracting.

The heels of Anil's feet dug into her shoulder blades as she flicked her tongue, enjoying the pain more than she'd dare to admit. Forcing herself back to catch her breath, she stole a glance at Anil, whose chest was heaving. She was no longer holding herself up, and a whine escaped her lips at the loss of contact, shaking her head and reaching down to grab at Pin's hair with her spare hand, trying to pull her back.

“Keep going, please,” she panted, the visceral plead and fingers knotted in Pin's hair causing her stomach to sear.

Witnessing Anil lose all ability to act coherently was stunning her. Still incapable of finding words, Pin leaned in once more, licking a stripe from her entrance and up, and back down again.

Teasing at her entrance, she hesitated, but felt Anil's hips buck into her immediately.

“Do it. Please,” Anil urged, voice breaking as her hand continued to massage Pin's scalp, keeping her in place.

Having Anil beg for her was new, and it was magnificent. It was all the reassurance she needed to dip her tongue inside, unable to stop the groan from slipping past her lips when Anil's heels pulled her closer yet again, her mewl probably heard through the entire palace grounds.

She indulged in the taste and shut her eyes, surrounding herself in liquid velvet as her tongue eased in and out. The noises spilling out of Anil didn't help with her already burning temperature, now hot enough to set the whole room alight. The thought of having to inevitably part from between her thighs made Pin's heart sink, trying to ignore the feeling by digging her nails into Anil's thigh and attempting to push deeper.

Anil was incapable of forming anything intelligible by then. It almost sounded like she was sobbing. There had only been a handful of times where she had heard Anil in a similar state – the last time being such a faraway memory that Pin could hardly remember it. Nothing had ever been quite like this, though. Making the composed and collected Anil crumble apart by using only her mouth? Pin was on top of the world.

Pin moaned against her, the vibrations causing Anil to gasp and arch once more. Their joined hands were clammy, Anil refusing to let go as if it was an anchor.

She could sense Anil was teetering towards the edge by the heaviness of her breathing and the fervent rocking of her hips, so she did what she thought was best; wrapped her lips around her again and found a pattern that had Anil chanting yes under her breath like a mantra.

Despite her aching jaw, Pin persisted, quickening her pace a little bit harder until Anil cried out—the sound Pin hadn't heard in forever sending her to near insanity—body tensing as her thighs locked around Pin's head. She reached out to press against Anil's hip, keeping her from lifting off the bed as Pin continued to swirl her tongue, carrying her through the seemingly endless, shuddering waves.

She couldn't hear anything apart from the pounding in her ears as Anil's suffocating thighs kept her head in a vice grip. At first she tapped Anil's hip when she realised she couldn't breathe. Then dug her nails into flesh, but Anil was still on another planet.

Dying between her lover's legs from pleasuring her a little too well. What a way to go.

She had almost accepted her fate, starting to feel faint when Anil's legs finally loosened around her. The two let out a simultaneous groan and Pin slumped against Anil's thigh, heaving for oxygen. An exhilarated sigh left Anil's lips as her body slackened, and Pin smiled to herself, pressing a kiss where she rested.

It didn't take long before she gravitated between her thighs again, drawn to the remains of her desire like an addict. Hips canted against her lips and Pin leaped at the chance to go again as she adjusted herself, but Anil didn't let her get carried away this time, gently pushing her head away. Pin exhaled, bittersweet. She could've happily spent the rest of her life there.

Heavy breaths sounded in the room when Pin lifted herself off the floor. Her knees ached from the hard surface, but it was insignificant compared to the incessant throbbing between her thighs. It was painful.

The cool air hit her chin and nose as she stood with trembling legs, stepping over to the bowl of water that rested on the bedside table.

“What are you doing?” Anil mumbled, legs still hanging off the side of the bed.

Pin looked at her, smiling. Affection bloomed in her chest. “Going to wash my face-”

Anil forced herself up then, a weighted hand reaching over to grab Pin's arm. “I want to see you, first.”

With a tug of her arm, Pin allowed herself to be pulled back to the bed. Anil studied her with dark eyes, fixating on the mess she'd made around her lips before leaning in to lick a stripe from her chin to her mouth, tasting herself in the process. All Pin could do was open her lips and let Anil take the lead, rolling her tongue against Pin's unashamedly.

The moan that emerged from Pin's throat was so unrecognisable it startled her. She didn't know she could make a noise like that. It must have stirred something in Anil too, who immediately clambered on top of her and guided her back against the pillows with firm hands.

She was ravenous, not giving Pin a chance to breathe before diving in to kiss her again and again, unable to separate from her as if she was a magnet. It brought back distant memories of their first night together and Pin couldn't help but think about how much had changed.

In the back of her mind, Pin wondered if Anil would treat her different this time. Would she be more gentle, after all they had dealt with and Pin's current state? Or maybe she'd want to tear her apart from the inside out as a punishment for putting them through so much trauma. The slightest thought of Anil treating her rough yanked at her insides, and the longing to be touched had her close to tears.

“I need you-” Pin strained as she forced herself to detach from Anil's starving lips, “I need you to touch me.”

Anil nodded, looking at Pin with pupils so dilated they appeared black. Goosebumps erupted over every inch of her skin as Anil skimmed southward, at last reaching for the hem of her undergarments. Pin watched with bated breath, flitting between Anil's eyes and her hand – anticipating the touch she had been craving for lifeless months. A finger looped around the material and pulled, taking Pin's last bit of sanity with it.

Fire blazed so wildly in her stomach, she could barely function. Molten heat pooled between her legs, the sticky substance unbearable as Anil dragged the item of clothing down far too slowly. It was tormenting her, feeling their bare bodies brushing as Pin shuffled to finally kick the piece of clothing off with a frustrated huff.

It took all her power not to begin crying when Anil finally cupped her, mouth falling open in awe. From so long without any contact to Anil's fingers now gliding over dripping folds was so incomprehensible, Pin could do nothing but drop her head back to the pillows and raise her trembling hips.

Two fingers circled over her and Pin jolted as if she had been struck by lightning. She cried out, reaching a hand out to the closest thing she could find; landing on Anil's shoulder. Nails dug into her soft skin as Anil's fingers slipped lower, coating them in desire. It had Pin feeling woozy, trying to take it all in as Anil teased at her entrance, gazing into her eyes so intently Pin could hardly keep them open any longer.

And finally, at long last, Anil dipped inside.

A single finger eased in and out so agonisingly slowly, it was almost worse than not being touched at all. She clutched Anil's shoulder forcefully and lifted her hips again, groaning. Words failed her.

The sound drew an apology from Anil's lips, raspy voice sending Pin spiralling. Then a second finger pushed in, and her world stopped. Lolling her head to the side, Pin melted beneath the burning touch, questioning if she would even survive as Anil began to pick up the pace.

The thought of this all being the fabric of her imagination continued to plague the back of Pin's mind, deathly afraid to keep her eyes closed for too long in fear of Anil ceasing to exist. But upon opening them, Anil was still there, alive and as real as ever with a bead of sweat developing just above her brow, studying Pin through hooded lids as they flitted across her features.

Every inch of Pin's body tingled as Anil started to move more fluidly, fluttering around her when skilled fingers repeatedly found the spot that left her reeling.

Anil couldn't get enough of her, nuzzling into her neck and inhaling her scent which Pin could only assume must have consisted of sweat and musk by now. It didn't stop her, though. She only pressed closer; glided her hot tongue against her racing pulse. A hand found its way to Anil's back, raking nails over smooth skin, her body liquefying as desire coursed through her with every thrust. Loose strands of hair tickled against her chest as Anil shuffled lower, soft lips trailing over her chest until Pin felt heat around her nipple.

It was too much. Every single one of her senses had been consumed by Anil and she was rapidly approaching the inevitable: a cliffs edge with only one end in sight. Anil knew it as well, could read her like a book as she swiped a thumb over her at the same time as she curled her fingers. It started to feel like an out of body experience, reaching the point where she couldn't say or do anything; paralysed in anticipation of the fall as shattering breaths stole the air from her lungs and Anil took the wheel.

It came crashing down on her harder than she had ever remembered it before. A hoarse cry wrenched its way out of her, ragged and raw with her heart thrumming as she pulsed around Anil's fingers, her body rigid. Anil's lips were on hers instantly, swallowing the quieter sounds that helplessly spilled out of her, each thrashing wave gradually subsiding as the seconds passed.

With one last swipe of her thumb, Anil curled into her, and with it came a quaking breath as the final drops cascaded over her. Anil's fingers eased out of her with a half sigh, half moan, and a pang of disappointment started to brew in Pin's gut when she felt empty once again, still wanting more. Her eyes were still shut, consumed by darkness, and she blindly reached for the back of Anil's neck to pull her close and kiss her.

“I love you,” she spoke against Anil's lips, bleary eyes opening to focus on her. Anil's eyes gleamed in the candlelit room and her cheeks were rosy, wearing a devastating smile that left Pin's heart aching.

“I love you, too,” Anil repeated the same words from earlier and planted a kiss to the corner of her mouth before sitting up, exhaling shakily.

Her eyes followed Anil as she leaned over to reach for the damp towel on the table beside them. She brought it to Pin's face, gently wiping her nose and her chin clean before patting her down and placing the towel against her chest. The coolness of it was refreshing in the stifling room.

Pin settled, admiring Anil as she drew patterns over her skin with her forefinger. It was harrowing to think about how close they were to losing this. The simplest of moments they shared together were so incredibly close to never happening again, and the mere thought of it made her nauseous. A lump developed in her throat, her eyes welling with tears.

“I don't ever want to leave this room again,” she spoke into the silence with a wobble in her voice, one hand fidgeting with Anil's, the other loosely holding her thigh, still terrified that if she let go, she might disintegrate before her.

Their eyes met and Anil's lips formed into a sad smile, taking Pin's hand to her mouth and kissing her knuckles so gently it made Pin's heart skip a beat. “I could try and arrange that. Prik can bring us everything we need.”

Pin scoffed. It was a ridiculous thing to suggest, but she appreciated her light-heartedness. “I would like that very much.”

“Having you to myself, all day, every day for the rest of my life,” Anil sighed contently, lost in thought, “Although, I doubt there would be anything left of us within a week,” she continued, her mind seemingly wandering as her eyes fixed on the headboard behind Pin.

“What makes you think that?” Pin's eyebrow raised, curious.

“Well, for starters, I don't think we would ever leave this bed,” Anil replied, eyes drifting to Pin's again with a small smirk. Pin could see the wheels turning in her head.

“Of course we would. I could do my work in here. Over there,” Pin lifted their joined hands and pointed to the small vanity in the corner of the room, humming. “You could teach me to draw. I could teach you to carve fruit, or embroidery. There are many things we could do.”

Anil's free finger drew gentle circles over Pin's stomach, leaving goosebumps across her skin. It tickled. “I think I would grow bored of those activities rather quickly.”

“Anil,” she chided, the remaining sadness being replaced with anticipation as she squirmed under her touch. “And what would you do to pass the time?”

Trailing her finger lightly up Pin's midriff, Anil plucked the towel and tossed it aside before continuing along her path. A dull throb began to develop in the pit of Pin's stomach. Like it had ever really eased. She arched into her slightly, enough for Anil to quirk a brow.

Perhaps her wish would come true. With the way they were drawn to each other, they might not get a chance to leave this room; sparks igniting over the smallest of touches. It was an addiction.

“I can think of a few things,” Anil replied, nails dragging across her breast to circle a pebbled nipple. A hitched breath sounded from Pin's throat as she dragged it over the sensitive skin.

“Would you dare to tell me?” She challenged, her words close to a whisper.

Anil smiled, her eyes focused on the hand lingering against Pin's chest. “There is one thing in particular I've wanted to try for a long time...”

A light blush tinted her cheeks when she spoke the sentence, drawling out the end of it as she struggled to meet Pin's eyes. It was endearing. Usually she was bold, not afraid to speak her mind when it came to things like this, and seeing her grow shy over a few vague words had Pin's stomach churning with curiosity.

“What is it?” she asked, unable to stop the smile from spreading across her face.

“I don't think I can explain it,” Anil replied coyly as she fidgeted with their fingers.

Again, Pin was intrigued. Excited. Needed to know what was running through her mind. “Show me.”

After a few seconds of being lost in thought, Anil met her eyes. Pin noted how they sparkled in the candlelight.

“Are you sure? I think it might be quite... strenuous.”

Hearing such a word only increased her desire to know even more. “I'm certain.”

Anil shifted above her, smiling. “Let me know if it's too much, okay?”

Pin couldn't possibly imagine a situation with Anil that could ever be too much, but she nodded regardless, feeling the apprehension in her gut when Anil began to position herself. Taking one of Pin's legs with a raised brow, Anil looked at her, waiting for a reaction. Pin, unsure of where this was heading, raised her brow in return. A flood of images flashed in her head at what could be running through Anil's mind, until she straddled her thigh and slotted between her.

The air was knocked out of her lungs as she watched Anil lower herself; eyes transfixed on where they were joined – the realisation of what Anil's plans were causing Pin's body to flush from head to toe. She vaguely recognised the groan coming from above, but could hardly concentrate on anything other than the sensation of slick heat pressing against her own.

Her hand latched on to Anil's thigh subconsciously, helping her ease back and forward. It took a few tries before they started to get used to the unfamiliarity of it all, but once they had, Pin felt a type of pleasure she had never experienced before. It was staggering. Different, unexpected, but it was an intimacy that had reached entirely new heights as they glided against each other, face to face, unbroken eye contact.

It was new, and it was marvellous.

“Okay?” Anil's voice made her stomach flutter – bright, hopeful eyes meeting Pin's.

“Yes,” was all she could manage to say. An involuntary moan left her lips when Anil grazed over the right spot.

“I've always wanted to try this with you,” Anil shared, voice a little airy as she adjusted herself. The weight on top of her left Pin's heart palpitating as another jolt of pleasure made its way through her.

A ragged sound erupted from her throat when Anil started to move properly. Learning about her revelation had set Pin's insides ablaze, the sensation of them sliding against each other feeling so intense it had her quivering. She watched Anil in wonder, trying to keep her eyes focused despite the building tension. Her hand lifted to grab Anil's hip, encouraging her again and again as she began to tilt her own hips to keep up with the pace.

Electricity rippled through her with every roll of their hips, each time growing more frantic and less precise. The noises spilling from Anil had her in a daze, unable to take her eyes off her as if she was hypnotised. A sheen of sweat coated her skin so she was illuminated in the soft glow of the candlelight, leaving Pin so awestruck it caused her breath to catch in her throat. Everything suddenly felt unreal, seeing Anil in this state, being the only person to ever see her in this state, and the possessiveness struck her like a bullet.

“You're mine,” Pin found herself rasping, no longer conscious of the words coming out of her as pleasure threatened to tip her over the edge. Her body hadn't been given much time to recover from her last climax and Anil was rapidly carrying her towards another; every single one of her senses heightened.

The words nearly sent Anil over the edge, releasing a high-pitched whine as her hips stuttered and her spare hand reached out to Pin's shoulder to brace herself. Pin watched with wide eyes as Anil took a moment to try and gather her words, slowing her movements close to a complete stop as if it was the only way she'd be able to get a word out. Pin challenged her—rocked her hips—taunting Anil whist chasing the euphoria and revelling in the way her head tilted back with a long sigh before finally answering, “I am yours. All yours.”

A fresh spill of heat sent Pin into overdrive when she felt Anil grind against her once more, muttering a curse under her breath. Anil's grip on her leg tightened then, clinging to it like a lifeline, and Pin could sense she was struggling. It would surely leave a mark. She hoped it would leave a mark. She held Anil's thigh more firmly, keeping her in place as she rolled her own hips in time, and Anil's whimper sent another blinding wave of pleasure through Pin's body.

“Yes,” Anil exhaled, strands of hair falling in her pretty face as she nodded. Beads of sweat glistened on her neck and Pin so desperately wished she could taste, moaning in complaint. Anil's weight pushed into her shoulder, pinning her to the bed as they rutted their hips together, causing the bed to rock in time with their movements, the rhythmic creak, creak, creak sounding beneath heavy breaths and quiet grunts.

She imagined them coming undone together, feeling it blooming deep within. A piece of fabric being pulled, slowly fraying at the edges.

With her heart racing against her ribcage, she took Anil's hand that was holding her leg and intertwined their fingers. Her knuckles were white, but Pin only held on tighter.

Each passing second, the pressure grew in her head.

Muscles strained everywhere in the searing heat of the room as she moved with more vigour, determined to reach the climax they were both teetering on the edge of.

And then the fabric tore.

It was Anil who came apart first, hugging Pin's leg as she rutted against her, chasing the already subsiding high. The look of ecstasy on her face was enough to send Pin free-falling, a broken cry leaving her lips as she shattered into a thousand pieces, rocking her hips with every last drop of energy she had. Blinding white spots invaded her field of vision unlike anything she had experienced before, her entire existence crumbling around her as a ringing pierced through her ears, and she fell into an endless pit of darkness.

She came-to slowly, flitting her eyes open as a muffled buzz played in her ears. The last ripples of her climax were still washing through her body. Her exhausted limbs felt like lead. Sprawled out on the bed, she blearily looked up to see Anil leaning over her with a panicked look in her eye, masking it with a weary smile when Pin's eyes focused on her. “Are you okay, love? Do you need me to call for help?”

Realising what had just happened, Pin lifted her woozy head, taking some time to adjust to her surroundings. Her voice felt hoarse when she spoke again. “No. I'm okay.”

Anil leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. “It's my fault,” she assured her with breathless words, “I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you so far.”

“No, I wanted to,” Pin replied immediately. Her mouth was like cotton, so dry she could barely swallow.

“Here, sit up,” Anil spoke quietly, shifting above her so she could adjust the pillows upright against the headboard. Pin fell back against them with a soft thud, reattaching her hand to Anil's leg.

Anil was still straddling her, and Pin could vaguely recognise the wetness against her thigh. Goosebumps erupted over her skin and she shivered, but was too drowsy to react further. Instead, she laid there and watched as Anil reached over to the bedside table to pick up a glass of water.

Pin's eyes fell to the wet patch on her thigh. The rest of her life could be spent in this bed with Anil and Pin was convinced it still wouldn't be enough.

Perched above her, Anil brought the glass to her lips and lifted her chin ever so gently with her free hand, like she was cradling a baby bird and holding Pin too tight would shatter her hollow bones.

She drank most of it, feeling the cool liquid rejuvenate her slightly. Some water dripped down her chin; Anil's hand still unsteady as she held the glass to Pin's parched lips. It tickled, like a feather dancing across her skin, though it helped to ease the queasy feeling in her stomach.

“Thank you,” Pin whispered, watching as Anil drank the last drops of water before placing it back on the bedside table.

Anil turned her attention back to Pin then, leaning in to place a sweet kiss against her lips, causing Pin's heart to flutter at the innocence of it. The innocent thoughts didn't last long, however, as the throb in her head began to ease and the sight of Anil became clearer, taking her breath away for the umpteenth time tonight.

She looked utterly dishevelled, with her hair falling in messy waves and her cheeks rosy, body still coated in a sheen of sweat leaving Pin growing hungry again.

She would never get used to this.

For her eyes only.

Anil's trembling breaths sounded through her ears and settled right between her thighs. When Pin pulled her by the back of the neck to kiss her again, she felt a greed like never before.

It was slow, passionate, and Pin was left feeling dizzier than before, itching for more when Anil reluctantly pulled away, eyes flitting across Pin's. Pin gazed back at her, gravitating a lethargic hand to Anil's centre which was hovering just above her thigh. She cupped her, feeling the wetness gather there, and Pin felt it like a thirst that could never be quenched.

Anil's hips bucked, a shaky sigh leaving her lips as she shut her eyes and dipped her head forward. Pin met her half way as their foreheads collided, the tiredness temporarily replaced with a sudden ravenousness, but was only given a glimpse of bliss before Anil grasped her wrist and pulled it away.

“Pin...” she uttered, shaking her head.

It was an impossible task, with the weight of a thousand emotions, countless sleepless nights, lack of food, and exhaustion catching up to her. She knew Anil wouldn't allow her to strain herself any more yet, even if she wanted to, but couldn't ignore the disappointment brewing in her chest, cursing herself for allowing her body to become so weak.

“I know. I just can't keep my hands off of you,” she said truthfully, her head still swimming as she drank in the sight of her shamelessly, slipping her hand from Anil's thigh to her waist, caressing the skin with her thumb.

Those words had Anil smiling bashfully. “I'm afraid you'll have to.”

Pin whined. She'd be happy to beg if it was what Anil wanted. “Please.”

“You need to rest, love,” Anil cooed, pushing loose strands of hair behind her ear.

“I can't,” Pin mumbled as she nestled into the palm of Anil's hand. The thought of sleeping still terrified her, but she could sense it threatening to consume her. “Not yet.”

Leaning in, Anil pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose, brushing her thumb against her cheek. Pin's eyes fluttered closed at the sensation, but she forced them open again.

“You are so determined, aren't you?”

“One more,” she suggested weakly, observing the way Anil's chest rose and fell.

“Not until you get some rest. You look exhausted,” Anil said, her brows pinched together.

Pin hummed. “I am. But I miss you.” It sounded ridiculous. They had spent all evening in each other's presence, closer than they had ever been in months, but it only made Pin even more desperate. She still wasn't satisfied. Anil was sat right in front of her eyes, yet Pin still missed her so terribly that it ached in her chest as if she was grieving her death.

The need to make up for all the lost time was eating away at her insides, and the thought of sleeping was so unbearable because she'd be gone again. “I miss you so much.”

Anil looked at her with those beautiful, wide, concerned eyes. And, being her usual optimistic self, she chuckled softly; reassuringly, and the melodic sound eased Pin's anxiety for a short moment. “I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I couldn't leave you even if I had to.”

“Even when I wake up?” she asked. Hearing an answer wouldn't make much of a difference, but she would take anything to reassure her before her body gave in.

“Even when you wake up. I'll be right beside you.”

“I'm scared,” she admitted. It physically pained her to say it. Instead of allowing the unthinkable to flood her thoughts, she focused on the thumb delicately stroking her cheek. It was a losing battle. She was going to fall sleep whether she wanted to or not. “Can you tell me a story?”

Anil touched her lips against her forehead. “Of course I can, darling.”

It was about a lion, maybe. Or a tiger. She couldn't remember. By the fourth sentence, she had already drifted into a deep slumber.

She woke to a silence so loud it was almost deafening.

It was still dark, the last of the candles dimly lit in the corner of the room. She hadn't slept more than a couple of hours. The first thought on her mind was Anil and where she was, and Pin found herself speaking her name into the darkness with bated breath.

Those handful of seconds seemed to stretch for a lifetime until she eventually came to her senses. The first thing she felt was the warm arm—Anil's arm—draped over her, and she let out a long sigh of relief, taking a firm hold of her hand to assure herself that it was, in fact, real. Things fell into place then. The sensation of her moving came next, and lastly, the small groan followed by the groggy voice that Pin was so overjoyed to hear.

“Morning,” Anil mumbled, placing a gentle kiss between her shoulder blades.

Pin grinned to herself. “It's still the middle of the night.”

Anil made a noise, somewhere between relief and confusion, and planted another kiss against the back of her neck. “It is? Why are you awake?”

“I just woke up,” she replied, watching as the final candle slowly burned out. Her voice felt rough.

“How are you feeling?” Anil's voice also sounded hoarse. Her stomach fluttered.

“I feel good. Tired, but relieved,” Pin replied, a slight wobble in her voice as she shut her eyes, tightening her grip on Anil's hand. It pained her to even think about moving an inch away from her, wishing they could stay this close for eternity, attached at the waist. She shimmied backwards until their entire bodies were flush from head to toe, and felt herself relax again.

“Relieved?” Anil asked, lips hovering over the back of Pin's neck.

She drew a deep breath, afraid that if she said it out loud, it would manifest into reality. The soft lips against her skin managed to ground her momentarily. “I was afraid. Terrified. I truly thought this was all some beautiful dream and I'd wake up alone once again.”

Hesitant, she lowered her voice, wanting to keep the last part to herself. Even the thought of speaking the words nearly sent bile up her throat as fear struck her in the heart. “I thought I would end up waking next to him instead of you.”

Freeing her hand from Pin's grasp, Anil tugged at her waist. “Turn around.”

Anil loosely guided her, the satisfying ache in her bones a sweet reminder of what they had done only a few hours ago.

The moonlight filtering through the window was just enough to make out the features on Anil's face; bright, wide eyes glistening in the darkness, the look of concern etched on her face, the sad pout on her lips. Pin's heart soared at the sight of her. The thought of getting to wake up next to her every day for the rest of her life was unfathomable, and tears pricked at her eyes as Anil brought their hands to her chest to feel the steady rhythm of her heart. “You are safe with me. He is gone, and will never return.”

Words might not be enough for her yet. But Anil's promise was enough to give her hope. The tears she tried to keep at bay spilled over, creating a valley over the bridge of her nose as they gathered against the pillow. But the ache in her heart was back again, wrapping around her lungs as another doubt crossed her mind. “And what about your future? Won't you have to marry, one day?”

Lifting a hand to Pin's cheek, Anil wiped the tears with the pad of her thumb. She shuffled closer, so close that not even a breath of air could get between them. Yet still, it wasn't close enough.

“I am married already,” Anil stated. “You are my wife.”

Hearing those words set a dozen butterflies loose in her stomach, and Pin found her cheeks turning warm. “Anil,” she sniffled, “Not... officially.”

“Does it matter? Does the ring I gave you not count? Is the mutual agreement between two people disregarded until a stranger officiates it?” Anil asked, frowning.

“Of course it counts,” Pin replied. She wasn't expecting to wake up in the middle of the night to be having a conversation like this. The thought nearly made her smile, until the memory of Anil removing the ring Pin gave her replayed in her head. “What I mean is, regarding your family. They are not fully aware. I couldn't bear the thought of dealing with this situation all over again.”

“I will talk to my father about it tomorrow. As soon as I wake up.”

“You will?” Pin's ears perked up.

“I will.” Anil said, certain. “I don't want you to worry about this any longer.”

The thumb resting against her cheek dried the last of Pin's tears. “Thank you.”

That was the final hurdle, and Pin had to remind herself of it. If they had made it to this point, they could survive anything. And, despite all that had happened, Anil was still willing to put herself on the line. It had turned into a debt, and Pin wondered how she could ever repay her for the suffering she had put the both of them through.

Anil leaned in, kissed her nose, and tranquillity spread through Pin's chest as her brain finally started to slow down, as if Anil's touch was the medication to brush away her looming thoughts. The moonlight created stars in her eyes when she pulled back, the smallest movement forming new ones as she studied Pin's face. “Your happiness is my priority.”

It didn't take long before Pin was gravitating towards her lips, starving to taste her as if it hadn't only been a couple of hours. It was like her body was resetting every time their lips touched, the same thrill bubbling in her stomach like it was their first time. “I love you so much, you know. You are the most precious thing in my life.”

“I love you so much, too. More than words can describe,” Anil replied with her adorable voice, leaving Pin smiling like a fool.

“I still find it impossible to believe you exist,” she said as she moved her hand to rest on the base of Anil's neck. Fingers reached for the strands of hair that settled there, twirling around them. “Too perfect.”

Anil didn't reply, only scoffed and traced the shape of Pin's lips with her thumb, following with a tender kiss.

“My perfect wife,” Pin spoke against her lips and felt Anil melt beneath her touch.

Their tongues met as Pin opened her mouth; a satisfied sound leaving her lips. Anil swallowed the noise and Pin felt her smile, unable to stop herself from smiling with her. A fatigued hand started to move then, skimming unhurriedly along Anil's neck, across her collarbone and over her shoulder, sleep still heavy in her bones.

She had memorised Anil's body like the back of her hand, yet each time Pin's wandering fingers explored it, the love for her increased tenfold. It was physically swelling in her chest to the point where it was painful, and she was perplexed as to where all of this excess love could possibly go. She would surely die from it.

The heat from Anil's hands seeped into her cheeks like the first rays of sun on a hot summer day, cradling her face as Pin inched her fingers over the outline of her ribs, the dip in her waist and the curve of her hip, pinching it lightly as they kissed languidly. She felt delirious. Drunk, even.

Anil arched into her touch—a silent plea for more—and Pin's hand descended further.

Gliding her fingers along the soft skin of her thighs, she reached to touch Anil where not even the depths of sleep could stop her from thinking about. “I'm sorry I fell asleep.”

The sweet sound of Anil's breath catching in her throat was like music to her ears, recognising parted lips as she circled two fingers against her. Anil's body twitched, encouraging Pin to surge forward once more, licking into her mouth to suppress her moan.

They traded mouths as Pin circled lazily over her, their bodies beneath the sheets growing warmer as the seconds ticked by. Pin was still riddled with sleep, but the heat between Anil's thighs was enough to carry her through it. She could always catch up on lost sleep. She could never catch up on the lost time with Anil. Not even spending every minute together for the rest of time would be enough for her.

“Will you forgive me?” She whispered against soft lips, dipping her fingers lower.

Anil nodded, their foreheads touching as her hips shifted into Pin's touch, releasing a shaky breath. “Yes, I forgive you.”

“I can't get enough of you, Anil.” The words were tumbling out of her in a daze, enthralled with the way Anil's eyes fluttered shut when she eased a finger inside. “My every waking thought is consumed with you. Even in my dreams, I think of you.”

Anil whimpered at her words, hips slowly rocking into her with each thrust. Their skin brushing against each other wasn't helping with her already swimming head.

“You're never going to leave me again, are you?” Pin asked her.

“No, Khun Pin. Never again,” Anil sighed the same answer as before, cradling her head so close that she was a blur. “I promise.”

“My Princess,” she muttered under her breath, noted the fluttering around her finger at the title. “All mine.”

Anil nodded before kissing her. “All yours,” she assured, their breaths mingling.

Humming contently, Pin shifted to guide a second finger inside as she swiped her thumb. Anil shivered against her with a drawn out moan, head falling slack against the pillow. Pin watched, intoxicated, wishing she could drag this out as long as humanely possible as she moved unfairly slowly, scarcely grazing her thumb over her in time with her thrusts. “I could stay like this forever. Would you like that?”

Hips chased Pin's touch with every swipe, gradually driving her closer to the edge. Pin only moved nearer, not allowing Anil more than an inch away from her. Anil's hand fell to her shoulder as she blearily reached to grasp on to anything she could and Pin inched deeper, curling her fingers with each thrust. “Yes- yes I would.”

Burrowing into Anil's neck, Pin planted kisses against her rapid pulse before moving to nibble her earlobe, sealing it with a kiss. The warmth enveloping her fingers was making her hungry. “My addiction.”

The room was filled with uneven breaths and the muted slick sound coming from beneath the sheets. Pin was still moving slowly. Probably too slowly for Anil, but she wasn't protesting. A leg wrapped around Pin's then, drawing her closer, so close that Pin struggled to move fluidly. It was exactly where she wanted to be, though; entangled in each other, merged into one body.

“Khun Pin,” Anil strained, voice muffled against Pin's mane of hair.

Dragging her nose across her cheek, Pin reminisced on the night of their first kiss. Butterfly kiss, Anil had called it. “Yes, darling?” She slowed to a stop when Anil didn't reply, marvelling in the whine that followed. “What do you need?”

“Faster,” is all Anil said.

Pin smiled, inhaled the faint scent of jasmine in Anil's hair and began to quicken the pace ever so slightly. “Like this?”

“Yes, like that,” she tried to reply quietly, but choked on the final word as Pin curled into her a little harder.

A trickle of heat dripped over her hand and Pin's abdomen seared, wanting nothing more than to devour her all over again. She sighed into Anil's neck, a hint of a moan at the end of it, mumbling, “You feel so good.”

Anil's leg pulled Pin impossibly closer, causing her wrist to cramp at the angle, but she didn't mind. Not when Anil was reduced to a babble of incoherent sounds that only Pin could ever draw out of her. It was slowly starting to unravel. The clutch on her shoulder was tightening, Anil's breathing was rapid and ragged, and she could do nothing but nod into the heat of Pin's neck.

Whispering “I love you,” in her ear was enough for Anil to crumble. The sound of her soft moans flooded over Pin like a hot bath, and again, the throb between her thighs persisted. The hand against her shoulder gripped her with force, and Pin felt as she contracted around her.

Pressing her nose against her pulse, Pin filled her lungs, feeling the flutter of Anil's heartbeat on the tip of it as she carried her through the final ripples, a hint of salt on her tongue after licking a stripe there.

“I wish I could somehow live inside of you.” Pin admitted, bringing Anil's leg closer when she started to pull away.

Anil let out a laugh and Pin buzzed at the sound of it. She couldn't remember the last time she'd heard it, the genuine joy bubbling out of her. “I wouldn't be opposed to that.”

Pin eased her fingers out steadily, already desperately missing the sensation of being surrounded. She could feel the arousal coating them, and her first instinct was to taste. Squeezing her arm through their practically conjoined bodies, she lifted slick fingers to her lips and traced her tongue over them, tasting the familiar tang from earlier.

They didn't break eye contact once. Anil only watched open-mouthed, the hunger in her eyes evident and Pin halted, instead offering her fingers for Anil to take.

And she did. Of course she did.

Her tongue rolled over the length of Pin's fingers, savouring every last drop of herself like this was her first taste of a meal in months. Pin watched wordlessly as she took both fingers into her mouth, sucking them slowly. A breath of disbelief; a reminder of sleepless nights together all those months ago.

“I am absolutely dreaming,” Pin said, dazed. Anil pulled away and again, her glorious laughter sounded through Pin's ears like the first day of spring; as real and as beautiful as ever.

She leaned in, kissed Pin's parched lips. Pin swiped her tongue over them instinctively when she pulled back to look her in the eyes.

“You are absolutely not,” Anil said, then studied her before speaking again. “You certainly have a way with words when you're sleep deprived, you know.”

Pin smiled lazily. She was so exhausted, she couldn't help but think this was a figment of her imagination. But the thought didn't scare her as it had earlier. Her eyes were already drifting closed again, mumbling, “Perhaps you should wear me out more often.”

“I might have to,” Anil replied.

A hand pulled at Pin's neck, bringing her closer so Anil could place a kiss against her temple. Her heart warmed at the innocence of it, lifting her hazy head to leave a peck on Anil's warm cheek and the tip of her nose.

As she shut her eyes, she felt Anil pull her head to her chest. Thump thump, thump thump. It was slowly lulling her to sleep. “Closer.”

Anil shuffled so they were touching from head to toe, slotted so snugly together it would take everyone in the whole palace to separate them. Pin huffed, unsatisfied. Not close enough.

“Closer.”

“I can't get any closer, love.”

Nuzzling between Anil's neck and the pillow, Pin struggled to breathe. However the comforting thought of being so close to her was more than worth the suffocating heat, clinging to her like a koala to a tree.

A hand drifted to Pin's scalp then, raking blunt nails over it and down, carding through long strands and back again. Up and down, up and down.

An unimaginable sense of relief washed over her then. A bruising weight lifted off her shoulders that had been bearing down on her for weeks on harrowing weeks. It was the first time Pin truly understood the meaning of peace. In Anil's arms, so worn out she was barely conscious, Anil's breaths slowing into a steady rhythm, the two of them sharing this space in the dead of night like the only people left in the universe. Anil's reassurance; her promise to never leave Pin again. Having already slept and waking up next to her, proof of it being real despite all of her doubts. The pleasant ache that settled deep in her bones, a constant reminder of tonight. A night she wouldn't forget for as long as she lived.

The repeated pattern had Pin falling into the abyss slowly but surely. And, for the first time in months, she didn't dread the haunting idea of waking up the following morning. For the first time in months, she didn't have to spend another nauseating day wishing it was all over. For the first time in months, she felt free. Free to sleep, long and deep and undisturbed, with Anil in her arms, ready to start the rest of their lives together.