Work Text:
——————
Charlie didn't know what to think of the past few months. Between getting on speaking terms with her dad to fighting angelic forces, it had been a wild ride. Her most recent predicament: her dad and Alastor's relationship.
While she was young, her mom and dad would always set up banter around the house. Of course, when she was little it was a lot more lighthearted, and growing older it turned a lot more… brutal. But she was always taught that was their way of showing love. Of showing affection.
You can imagine her surprise when Alastor and Lucifer had a whole musical number in front of her, petty insults flying left and right and it was displayed in her favorite way of theatrics. She didn't have the chance to ask about it from then until now because of her father being busy and her going to heaven too, ultimately battling them. It didn't even cross her mind to ask him or Alastor about it after the fight because of her relief.
Now, with the hotel's grand reopening being two weeks away, she had a little bit of spare time for herself. With this spare time, she had devised a plan. A plan to get her dad back into the dating scene, by getting Alastor to ask him out! The plan was fool proof, if she did say so herself.
Step one: In order to get her dad his date, she had to find the perfect spot for them to get together. Simple!
Step two: Asking Alastor about his feelings for her dad. There had to be something there, with the way they talked so smoothly (most of it being insults, but that made it even clearer), their personalities perfectly reflecting off of each other and creating good openings for everyone else in the group.
Step three: Set the stage. Get them alone together so Alastor can finally bring her father happiness, after seven years of her mom being gone and her dad still wearing his wedding band, it was starting to be depressing.
Step four: Profit!
The plan would work amazingly. Deciding to get Vaggie in on it, she hurriedly grabbed breakfast for both her and her girlfriend, basically flying back up the stairs. She heard her father give a call of her name, but she didn't have the time for it right now. After all, she had to get him a date!
Charlie finally made it to their bedroom and closed the door behind her. Vaggie sat on the bed, awaiting her princess charming. That very princess set down the trays on the bedside table near Vaggie and sat down next to her.
"Vaggie! I have a… plan. A very good, aggressively kind plan!" Charlie beamed.
"Really? Sounds great sweetie," Vaggie yawns, stretching, "What's your plan?"
"I am SO glad you asked!" Charlie pulled Vaggie from the bed, pulling out a board on wheels with plenty of papers and tacks stuck to it. Red strings attaching certain things to others, drawings of rainbows and sparkles – was that her dad with ducks and his wings out? What was Alastor doing there too? – and a vast multitude of other things Vaggie couldn't make sense of.
"What's with the, uh… your dad? And Alastor? Don't they… not like each other?"
"That is exactly what I wanted to talk to you about!" Charlie said, her excitement not diminished at all. Vaggie swallowed and braced for impact.
~
When Vaggie said she was bracing for impact, she didn't think the impact would be THIS. I mean, seriously, getting Lucifer – the King of Hell – a date with the Radio Demon… It was something she didn't think she'd hear in her life.
"That is… definitely a plan, honey."
"I know right! Isn't it a wonderful idea? You have to help me talk to Alastor about it." Charlie put her hands together and smiled brightly at Vaggie.
"Charlie– I'm going to be honest, I don't think I can do that. You're the one he sees as a daughter. Plus, I really… I don't want to try to talk to him about love." Vaggie said, face-palming. Charlie physically deflated. Frantically, Vaggie waved her hands trying to save her girlfriend's happiness.
"It's not that I think your plan won't work," The fallen exorcist started, Charlie perking up again, "it's just that I don't want to talk to Alastor." Vaggie pinched Charlie's cheek and smiled softly. The Princess chuckled and put a hand over Vaggie's, and nodded.
"Okay. I'll talk to him myself. Thank you for being honest with me."
"No problem, babe."
The two shared a soft kiss before Charlie went to get dressed. After, she walked out of the bathroom in her signature suit, and Charlie breathed in and out deeply.
She put on a smile before whispering, "It's showtime!"
Practically running down the stairs and to Alastor's room, Charlie was beaming. Stopping just short of the Radio Demon's door, she smacked her cheeks in preparation. She had only been in Alastor's room a few times, and the smell of the Bayou made her want to hurl. No offense to Alastor's tastes, but… yeesh.
Charlie creaked open the door and called out Alastor's name. No response.
She stepped farther into the room, calling out his name again. No response.
Sighing, she yelled his name.
"Alastor!"
She felt a hand appear on her shoulder and jumped away from it, seeing the man materialized behind her who looked absolutely livid.
"A-Alastor! Hey! Uhm, I wanted to talk to you!" Charlie stammered out.
"Of course, Charlie. But couldn't this have happened in the lobby?" Alastor said with a very strained smile.
"No- No. The topic I have in mind is very, well, private."
"Very well." Alastor closed the door and walked towards his bed, sitting down and putting his microphone cane across the pillows. He patted the spot beside him, beckoning Charlie over. Surprised, she came to sit by him.
"So, what is your topic? Surely it can't be that bad." Alastor said with a certain bored tone. Charlie took a deep breath before diving down the rabbit hole. Once Charlie finally stopped to breathe, she glanced at Alastor and noticed his eye twitching.
"That was my plan… what do you think…?" Charlie gave a weak smile and awkward laugh under the gaze of the deer demon.
"I think…"
"It's positively idiotic you think I would ask out Lucifer."
Charlie's smile fell immediately. She stuttered a bit before getting a clear thought in her head.
"But- But! I thought- I wasn't- What?!"
"You thought what, my dear?" Alastor's annoyance seeped into his voice, even with the radio filter drowning out most emotion. Charlie's mind was blank. She thought that Alastor and her dad had been flirting the whole time. She had the completely wrong idea!
"So you… don't have the hots for my dad."
The radio static paused. The room was completely silent, even the sounds from the swamp on the other side of the room went dead.
"When I have ever given the impression I was interested in your father."
"Like, every time you guys interact?" Charlie waved her hands around sporadically. "The tension between you two whenever you talk is so extreme I swear my skin is gonna melt away!"
"I… Charlie, my dear, sweet, Charlie… No. I am not interested in your father, or anyone for that matter."
"Are you sure?"
"YES. I am sure."
Charlie cleared her throat and got up. She promptly walked to the door, stepped one foot outside, and closed it behind her, leaving the Radio Demon to stew in his thoughts for a while. Alastor could hear the pattering of feet booking it down the hallway.
The next day, Alastor took notice of a lot of things not making any sense to him.
Like the way his heart rate sped up when around the short king. Or the way he felt his face heat up whenever he thought of Lucifer. Or literally any other time including himself and the fallen angel. How awkward. Charlie was… right?
No. No. That's not right at all. There's no way.
"What has no way?"
Shit. Alastor didn't realize he was mumbling to himself, and now the voice of the very king who made his head spin surprised him. His ears perked up immediately and swiveled around towards the King. Alastor followed suit – or rather, his head spun around like an owl's, and his body followed – and he stared down at Lucifer.
"Do you need something?" The radio filter hid the way his voice slightly faltered. Keeping up appearances was very important, after all.
"Not really, I was just curious as to what that mumbling was. It was quite annoying."
"Ha-ha! How delightful to know our precious king is so easily annoyed by common people."
"Oh, but you're no common person, are you? One of the strongest overlords or something like that, not that it matters to me." Lucifer shrugged, and Alastor's ears tipped down slightly.
"Why of course, your highness. You needn't worry about me." Alastor said to the angel, his smile tight. The two stared at each other for another moment before Alastor was quickly swallowed by shadows and he was back in his room.
What the fuck was that?!
~
Lucifer was starting to realize some… weird behaviors from the Radio Demon. He was the King of Hell, obviously he was also the king of being observant. He had lived thousands of years, he wasn't oblivious to the things happening around him, and he had learned to read people like the back of his hand.
Even Alastor, the emotional monolith himself, wasn't free from Lucifer's reading. If anything, the people who tried to hide the most were the easiest to figure out. Alastor was always hiding behind a smile but his body language gave away everything.
After that short encounter and Alastor promptly running away, Lucifer knew that the other was conflicted about something. It didn't last long enough for him to figure out what, and he didn't want to dwell on it.
Except for the fact he did. For the next two days, it was all he could think about. Between that and the Radio Demon avoiding him. He kept catching glimpses of the red obsessed maniac, whether it be the coat-tail or an ear moving behind the wall. Always just out of reach. And Lucifer thought he was the original temptation.
He'd been meaning to find out what was going on. He wanted to ask, but he didn't know how to go about it. How are you supposed to go about anything revolving Alastor? You don't, Lucifer constantly thought to himself. But, if his pride had anything to say about it, he was getting to the bottom of this.
~
For once in the past couple of days, Lucifer had his target in sight. Alastor was in the lobby, standing next to the bar. Angel dust was halfway over the counter, Husk cleaning a glass trying to ignore the spider. Charlie, Vaggie, and Cherri were sitting on the couches and Nifty was off doing god knows what.
Lucifer was at the top of the staircase, trying to find the perfect window to swoop in and steal away Alastor to talk. He started down the stairs, slowly, so as to not scare off his catch. Alastor was speaking to Husk, so he took the opportunity to quickly go down and grab him.
Before he fully reached the deer, Alastor's ears turned before his body, as usual. Before he could make his escape, Lucifer put a hand on his shoulder and pulled him close.
"We have something to discuss upstairs, Alastor."
"Do we? Well I suppose we should find somewhere private." Alastor slightly groaned.
"I suppose we should."
The others all turned to look their way as they went upstairs, Lucifer keeping a hand on Alastor's shoulder as if to keep him there. Charlie's eyes lit up. Maybe her plan had worked!
In the apple of the newly rebuilt hotel, the Devil and his deer appeared. Lucifer let go of the other man's shoulder, and cleared his throat. His new room in the hotel was a lovely addition, and completely opposite to Alastor's radio tower.
Just this once he would allow Alastor on his side.
"Alastor, you've been acting weird. Like, weirder than usual. I know we aren't really close, but you have got to stop avoiding me like the plague."
"Have you ever considered maybe you are a plague?"
"Moving on… I'm just trying to clear the air. You're always around MY daughter – as much as I don't like it, she's very fond of you–so we have to at least TRY to be civil."
Alastor hummed. He looked everywhere but at the fallen angel and noticed the plethora of rubber ducks scattered around. There were plenty of boxes and little duck heads popping out of places they shouldn't – a shoddy attempt to hide his weird little interest.
"What's with the ducks, My Liege?" Alastor asked, his voice dripping with amusement.
"They're. Uhm. They're my little escape. From you, may I remind you." Lucifer crossed his arms and hmphed, leaving Alastor to chuckle. Lucifer's face softened at that, he never had the chance to hear a genuine laugh from the other.
"Yes, yes, I'm assured. You can stop with the pout. Maybe I can show you my own little collection."
"You? Having a collection? I never would have thought. What do you hoard, human heads?"
"Wonderful guess, but no. It's something akin to your silly ducks. Stop by my radio tower sometime and…" Alastor paused. Lucifer stared.
"Are you… inviting me to your room?" Lucifer giggled.
"You'd want that, wouldn't you?" Alastor's ears turned downward and the radio static in the room built. Lucifer broke out into a fit of laughs and giggles, leaving Alastor to sit there in mild embarrassment.
Little did they know that outside the door, the girl they had come to talk about in the first place was peeking inside. Through the door slightly ajar, Charlie looked inside and was listening to their conversation.
It was a large improvement, even if it didn't go entirely to plan, but this was only the start.