Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Castiel was sitting at the edge of the motel bed, his dress shirt bunched around his hands which were resting behind him. His tie hung loosely around his bare neck and fell into his pant-clad lap he was currently staring at.

'I know the real you is still in there somewhere, Dean.' Castiel said, voice quiet and raspy. 'Let Sam and I help you.' He tilted his head up and to the side, trying to catch Dean's eye. Dean was busy cleaning his tools, the rag moved rhythmically over the metal. The only reaction Castiel got was a quick side glance.

It had only been a few minutes ago when Dean had dragged Castiel into the motel room they were currently inhabiting. After divesting Castiel of his trenchcoat and jacket, he had opened the buttons on Castiel's dress shirt and had slid it down his arms only to twist the material until the hands were secured. Grabbing the angel's tie from the bottom, Dean had slid his hand up slowly, occasionally touching skin, until he reached the knot which he had loosened with a wink. Then he had pushed at Castiel's bare chest and the angel had fallen backwards onto the bed, righting himself into an upright position quickly after. Dean had been sitting at the small table a few feet away since then, cleaning guns, swords, and now knives.

Castiel had no idea what Dean was planning, he only knew that this demonic version of his former friend was not to be reasoned with. He had learned that the hard way when Dean had attacked him in his graceless state. The ensuing fight had been over in seconds, the only traces being a bloody lip and a twisted ankle on Castiel's part.

If only he could get his grace back somehow, he could maybe heal his friend and end this nightmare. There had to be a way, Castiel was sure of it.

'You know, Cas,' Dean began as he slowly rose from his chair across the room. 'I hope you appreciate this role reversal here just as much as I do.' He said sauntering over to the bed, holding an angel blade and probing its pointed tip with his thumb.

Of course this change in dynamics wasn't lost on Castiel, he remembered the first time he spoke to Dean, how he almost killed him in the process because he didn't know humans weren't meant to hear an angel's true voice. How much simpler times had been back then.

Dean came to a halt in front of the bed, lazily playing with the blade. Its silver edge gleamed in the dull lamplight from the ceiling and caught Castiel's attention. He had to tip his head back in order to look up, Dean was standing that close. Castiel watched as the blade came closer and followed its path with his eyes. Then the tip rested lightly underneath his jaw, barely scratching at his adam's apple. He couldn't help but stare at Dean's hand, the light grip it had on the blade, subtly flexing muscles and tendons. Then he felt the blade along his neck and jaw until the flat of it stilled beneath his chin and the pressure made him look up into Dean's green eyes.

'Oh, how the tables have turned.' Dean said with a smirk. 'The great Castiel, angel of the lord, at the mercy of a demon.' He chuckled. 'I wonder if you truly are an angel anymore, huh Cas?' He leaned in even more, eyes going black. 'What would happen if I hurt you now? Do you think I'd still even need this?' He increased the pressure of the angel blade, Castiel had to lean his head back even more.

'Dean—' Castiel began but suddenly Dean kept pushing the blade further and came so close he could put one knee on the bed beside Castiel. The angel had no other choice but to lean back on his elbows, half lying on his shirt-bound hands. The blade followed and soon Dean straddled Castiel's legs.

The demon leaned in close, the inky depths of his eyes deeply unsettling Castiel who felt his arms shake and give out beneath him, so he lay flat on his back, looking up at a demon above him. One hand braced next to Castiel's head, the other holding the blade, Dean went on.

'I wonder if you can think of the reason why I have brought you here, Cas.' He trailed the blade back down Castiel's throat, dipping it in the valley of his collarbone and tracing around his pectorals. 'Do you have any idea how pathetic the old me was? How I decided to not just follow my desires?' The blade moved further down, around the navel. 'No, I was a coward and a fool.' It stopped at Castiel's belt buckle. Castiel had followed the blade with his eyes and when it suddenly stopped they snapped back up to look at Dean's face.

'The old Dean knew not to hurt his friends and family,' Castiel tried with force behind his words but Dean only looked at where the blade was, one corner of his mouth going up. 'The old Dean was— is a good person. There was no foolishness in him. Let us help you, please.'

'What, you really think you can change me back to my boring old self? You never abandon hope, do you? So damn sorry to burst your little bubble, Cas.' With a theatrical sigh Dean leaned back a few inches. 'Now,' he said. 'Back to my question.' The blade was pushed beneath the leather of the belt and up, so the tail was free. 'Do you have any idea,' With his left hand Dean flipped the belt's tail over to remove it from the prong. 'What I'm going to do with you?' He pulled the rest of the leather out of the buckle and in one swift motion he pulled the entire belt from around Castiel's hips and dropped it on the floor.

In all honesty, Castiel had been wondering just that. Whatever did Dean want from him? Castiel didn't have any sensitive information, no power, nothing. Torture would only be a pastime for the demon, a little fun before finally killing the angel. That was what Castiel was expecting anyhow, why Dean had him guess at it made him a little uneasy. He was prepared to die, though. Had done so many times before. The only thing he regretted was not being able to save Dean after all, he was hoping Sam would be able to find a cure on his own.

'No clue?' Dean proceeded to pop open the dress pant's button one-handedly, the angel blade a remaining threat in his right hand. Castiel only stared at him. 'Are you still so green? Have you learned nothing of the human way of life in all those years? Of their depravity?' Dean opened the other's zipper. 'Their needs and urges?' Now he lay the blade on the bed, just in his arm's reach and grabbed the open pants before him with both hands.

'Wait!' Castiel called out and Dean looked at him with an expression of mock surprise.

'I knew you weren't a virgin, Cas. Or are you just uncomfortable being naked and helpless beneath me, hm?' Dean leaned down until he could whisper in Castiel's ear, who looked at him with wide eyes. 'So defenseless, so vulnerable. All laid out for li'l old Dean-o.'

Sure, Castiel wasn't technically a virgin anymore, he had slept with April (who had proceeded to kill him afterwards). It was a whole other situation though. This? This was Dean. Or at least it looked like him. Like the man he liked to think of as his charge, the man he sometimes watched over at night and who prayed to him for help. In all his time he spent as a human Castiel had started to realize that even though he hadn't had his grace anymore he still felt connected to Dean on a very special level, a level he could never reach with Sam. It was more than devotion or a need to protect, he never did find a word to describe it. The closest he came up with was love . But Dean had always made it clear that he was exclusively attracted to females, and Castiel was content in this situation nonetheless. Content to keep his watch over Dean, to come and help whenever he was needed. He had all but given up hope to maybe someday have something beyond their friendship. What exactly this 'beyond' was, he hadn't been sure either. But this situation here looked a lot like it and he was certain that the old Dean would not have approved of it.

'Don't do something you will later regret.' Castiel said quietly.

'I really think it's time you gave up on your sentimentality.' Dean said and started to push down Castiel's pants. Staring at the ceiling, Castiel wondered why demon Dean did this in the first place. To defile an angel?  Surely not because he was suddenly attracted to him. Or what had he said just a few minutes ago? That he used to be a coward and hadn't followed his desires? Could that mean that— Castiel was rudely torn from his thoughts when Dean was back in his field of vision and a hand was grabbing his chin.
'Look at me,' Dean demanded. 'You're not going to hide in your pretty little head, angel.'  Dean's other hand landed on Castiel's thigh, making the latter jerk his leg outward and creating a gap between his legs which Dean immediately took advantage of by pushing one denim clad leg in between. 'Already inviting me in?' Dean breathed against Castiel's neck, hot moist air hitting Castiel's skin and sending shivers down his spine. 'I thought it would take me longer to make you give in.'

Castiel had started to breathe harder and sweat was forming on his brow. This was bad . He could feel Dean's body pressing against his own, hard and heavy.

'Dean, don't—don't do this. Let me up and we can talk, call Sam and find a cure. I am sure we manage, we always have. If you'd only—' Castiel's rambling was interrupted by Dean's finger covering the angel's mouth.

'Shh, no more begging unless it's for more.'

'More what?' Castiel asked through the corners of his mouth.

'This.' And Dean replaced his finger with his lips. To say Castiel was startled would have been an understatement. His heart seemed to have stopped, his breathing too and his wide open eyes soon began to sting. After a few seconds he began to regain control of his body and wrenched his head to the side.

'What— no, stop this, Dean! You'd never— you don't want...' Green eyes were looking at him when his face was gently turned back. The look Dean gave him could only be described as reverently, then it twisted into a sickening smile. Dean blinked and back were the black eyes, staring right into Castiel's soul.

'You have no idea what I want. What I've wanted for years. What I held back. But not anymore, Cas. This new me, it is so much better. Now when I want something I take it, no questions asked, no regrets.' A thumb stroked over Castiel's bottom lip. 'And what I want now, well, is you .' Dean leaned back in and Castiel wanted to turn his head away again but couldn't when Dean's grip on his chin tightened. Gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, Castiel braced himself for the touch of lips on his own. When nothing happened, he hesitantly opened his eyes back up and saw Dean looking down at his mouth. The thumb kept stroking and Dean's own lips were parted slightly, a tongue barely visible as it slid along the underside of his oh-so-perfect upper teeth. 'Come on Cas, kiss me. I know you've wanted to for years, all those lingering stares, invasion of personal space and the touching.' Castiel's eyes widened with every word and once Dean had finished he was blushing.

'I-I, I don't know what you're talking about. I am an angel, I don't have feelings or desires like this.'

'Tsk, tsk.' Dean blinked and his eyes were green again. 'Keep telling yourself that, sweetheart. We both know you're lying.' Without warning he kissed Castiel again and this time he even licked and sucked at the angel's lips. Castiel tried to keep his mouth closed and glared at Dean until the demon pressed his leg into Castiel's crotch. He couldn't help but gasp at this intimate sensation and Dean used the opportunity to push his tongue past the other's lips. The quick and agile tongue licked Castiel's mouth further open and the angel's eyes slowly fell closed, overwhelmed by this intense kiss. Castiel couldn't help but wonder how much he would have enjoyed kissing the real Dean for the first time. His heart broke at the realization that this had been taken from both of them.

The kiss went on for several long seconds before Dean leaned away with a last brush of wet lips. Still Castiel's eyes were closed and he was breathing heavily. His arms were starting to go numb beneath him, trapped in his shirt and digging into his back uncomfortably. He felt so helpless, so useless. How could he just lie there and let this demon do whatever it pleased? He should have fought back by now. How was a stupid shirt holding him back? His instincts started screaming at him to get out, run. Get away from this monster, he's not your friend anymore . Castiel's eyes snapped open and in one quick move he twisted his whole body to the side and down on the ground. Dean lost his balance and tumbled to the other side of the bed. Castiel made it two steps to the door when he was tackled to the ground from behind.

'Oh no, no, no.' Dean panted in his ear. 'You're not getting away, Cas.' His hair was grabbed and his head pulled up. He felt the blade against his neck again, the sharp edge this time and Dean kept hauling Castiel into a standing position. The arm that was not holding the angel blade snaked around Castiel's middle and started dragging him back to the bed. 'It seems I've been too nice to you. Looks like I need to show you who's in charge.' He dumped the angel on the bed and proceeded to roll up his sleeves. Castiel rolled to the side and wanted to get back up when Dean got on the bed, too and started crawling towards him.

Peering at Dean's face made Castiel panic, shiny black eyes stared at him and an expression of fury and excitement was looking at him. Before Dean could reach him, Castiel pulled his legs close to his body, trying to hide from the hungry gaze directed at him.

'Dean, please listen—' Castiel's attempt at calming Dean down was falling on deaf ears it seemed as Dean grabbed the ankle closest to him and pulled hard until Castiel was on his back. Quickly the demon was atop the angel again, grabbing the tie around his neck and pulling that as well, tightening the noose, closing the air supply.

The sensation of suffocating was new to Castiel, pressure and pain collected in his head, his hands wanted to fly to his throat but they couldn't and so he watched Dean's eerily calm face as he looked at him in mild interest while Castiel's mouth opened in need of air. Just before he thought he'd black out and die, Dean loosened his grip on the tie and Castiel wheezed and sputtered.

'Don't ever try to run from me, Cas. You cannot outrun me or hide. I am the one in power now, your mojo is gone.' He stroked the newly red skin around the tie softly, threateningly. So much for that. Dean had gotten fast, extremely strong, too. Castiel didn't stand a chance. 'Do you understand?'

How much Castiel wanted to remain silent or say something defiant, but all that came out was a meek 'Yes.' And he stared unblinking at the ceiling beside Dean's head.

'Good.' Dean said and brushed his lips across Castiel's bruised cheekbone. 'I like a little fight in you though, it turns me on so much.' He presented the evidence by pressing his crotch against Castiel's leg. The angel kept staring at the ceiling when he felt Dean's hands wander to his boxer briefs. Castiel tensed and waited, grinding his teeth together. 'Relax man, you're gonna like this,' Dean promised and stroked Castiel's limp cock through the thin white cotton. A muscle jumped in Castiel's jaw, he was trying so hard to stay unaffected by Dean's ministrations but he knew this was a losing battle. When Dean noticed Castiel's inner fight he smiled and nuzzled the other's neck. 'Yes, give in, Cas. I know this feels good, don't try to hide it from me.' Dean's voice was raspy and low in Castiel's ear and added to the arousal slowly building inside him.

Castiel stole a quick glance down at himself and almost moaned out loud when he saw Dean's hand stroking lightly up and down his shaft which was already tenting his boxers. He tore his gaze away and turned his head from the voice filling his ear with hot breath and dirty promises.

'Why are you doing this?' Castiel asked in a small voice. The stroking stopped. He felt Dean shift and straddle his thighs again, grabbing his tie once more. Oh no, not this again , he thought but this time Dean had taken a hold of the knot itself and used it to pull Castiel up into a sitting position. He came face to face with him once more. Dean brought their heads closer together and gave him a lazy half smile.

'Because—', He got closer. 'I—', Their lips almost touched 'Can.' Castiel was panting, adrenaline, anxiety and arousal warring within him and beating his last coherent thoughts to mush. Never in his entire life had he felt like this. It was too much and Dean had only gotten started. He couldn't help a dry sob escaping his mouth, lip quivering, he was too overwhelmed with emotion. 'Shh, Cas. Hey, don't cry now. Here, I'll be gentle. Promise.' His last words were almost lost to Castiel, they were spoken so quietly. Then the hand on his cock resumed its stroking and the other one went around the back of his neck, holding him upright there instead and bringing their foreheads together.

Lips slightly parted, Dean was looking into his eyes and Castiel had to close his to lessen the sensory input somehow. Dean stroked him faster and harder, Castiel's brow knitted together in concentration. Hot breath mingled between them and the angel tried with all his might not to moan or cry out. When he came it was with a cut off keen that turned into yet another quiet sob.

He could feel hot liquid in his boxers that slowly began to cool and started to realize what had happened. Shame made him blush furiously and try to break free from the hold on his neck only to open his eyes to black inkiness. Demon eyes were staring back at him and all the post orgasmic bliss in his body disappeared in .2 seconds and he started struggling in earnest.

'Don't.' It was a low-spoken warning with such vehemence that Castiel stopped immediately. Still breathing hard he looked down their bodies and only now grasped what Dean’s hard-on entailed. Oh no. This was bad, very bad. He briefly considered ignoring the warning but before he could move another muscle Dean let go of his neck, stood up and got off the bed to go to the bathroom on the far side of the room.

Confused, Castiel watched him disappear and listened to the sound of the shower starting. Now was his chance to escape.