Chapter Text
"Pom? Pomni, come on, I need you up. Hey!"
A pair of fingers presses against her pulse. That's all she can feel. The rest of her body is... numb.
"Pomni, I'm serious, I need you to wake up for me... Please, sweetheart..."
Someone's shaking her by the shoulders, then holding her face in their hands. She wants to open her eyes and tell them she's okay, she's strong, she doesn't need him or anybody else to worry about her, but she can't. All she can manage is a soft groan.
"Ah, fuck this."
The ground beneath her vanishes as she's picked up off the floor. The movement jostles her slightly, and all of a sudden, the numbness gives way to agonizing pain. She whimpers, weak and pitiful, and then her body protects her from the pain, sending her back into unconsciousness.
The next thing Pomni knows, she's lying on her back somewhere soft. The pain she's in is nearly unbearable, but she doesn't know where she is, so she can't afford to succumb to it. She opens her eyes slowly; there's barely enough light to make out her surroundings. A bed, a nightstand, a large window with the curtains drawn.
A hotel room, maybe?
Her next instinct is to sit up and check herself for injuries, but as she does, she realizes that not only is her shirt gone, but it has been replaced by expertly wrapped bandages.
"Hey- woah, don't try to get up, you lost a lot of blood, Pom." All of a sudden, Jax is sitting on the edge of her bed, guiding her to lay back down with a gentleness she didn't know he possessed, and the events as they happened begin to come back to her.
He... he came to save me.
Pomni hums softly, letting herself be laid down against the mattress. She meets Jax's gaze and it looks like there's real concern there, no matter how much he tries to hide it.
"Sweetheart, huh?" she rasps, her voice weak.
Jax visibly flushes. "Shut up. I just... I needed to get you out of there."
It's not an excuse—Jax calls her all kinds of nicknames, but most of them are teasing at best, and sweetheart is undeniably fond—but Pomni lets it go. She feels too fucked up to argue with him. And... she didn't hate it.
Jax clears his throat. "Uh, I got you patched up. Enough for now, at least. We're just gonna have to lay low for a few days, try and keep our heads down until we can get you back on your feet and back to HQ."
"Wait-" Pomni interrupts. Despite the pain and the exhaustion, she's not just going to roll over and let Jax call the shots for both of them. "Who the hell decided you were in charge? We don't have time to waste, we're going back to HQ and we're warning them about what we're up against!"
"No. No way!" Jax stands up, an incredulous expression on his face. "You're not in any shape to even sit up, let alone make it all the way back to headquarters!" He lets out an annoyed huff, turning to walk away from her, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Fuck you-" Pomni makes a weak attempt to prove him wrong, but even trying to push herself up on her elbows puts her in excruciating pain and she collapses back down onto the bed.
"Told you so," Jax spits, and the contempt in his tone pisses her off. He's right, the trip would be nearly impossible for her to make in this state, but that doesn't mean they're both out of commission.
"Fine. Then you go."
It's quiet for a moment as Jax looks back at her over his shoulder. He doesn't say anything, but the look of betrayal in his eyes and the way his ears droop slightly tells her everything she needs to know. He's not going to do that.
"Look," she tries to explain. "We don't know when shit's gonna hit the fan. We can't afford to wait, and if I can't get back to base, you have to."
"You're hurt. You shouldn't be here alone-"
"That doesn't matter, just leave me! We already lost Zooble and Ragatha, do you want to lose the others too?"
"I don't want to lose you!"
Pomni opens her mouth, but no words come. Whatever she has with Jax, they don't talk about it, especially since being dropped into this gritty, detective noir spy adventure. They'd die for each other, but they don't say it. And here he is, saying it out loud. He doesn't want to lose her.
"Jax, I-"
"No, I'm not doing this." Before she has a chance to say anything, Jax storms out of the hotel room, leaving Pomni alone.
Anger flashes behind her eyes before anything else. He's the one who opened his mouth and tipped the scales, and when she tries to respond, he runs. He didn't want to leave her alone, but now he has anyway, because he can't stand that he admitted to having a single emotion.
But the longer she's alone, the more her heart just aches. She can't stand this fucking will-they-won't-they, back and forth bullshit. If he wants her, why won't he just say it? Is he so afraid of intimacy, of being vulnerable, that he's willing to pull her around and lead her on and make her miserable? Or does he really just not care that he's breaking her heart?
She knows he'd rather she believe the latter, but she doesn't.
Pomni forces herself to sit up. That alone is excruciating, but she's done sitting around and thinking about this alone. She holds her abdomen, gritting her teeth and dragging herself to her feet. It's a slow and painful process but eventually, she makes it to the hallway.
She expected to have to go in search of Jax, but he's sitting on the floor outside the door, knees pulled up against his chest. Pomni's heart only aches more seeing that he's still keeping watch over her even now. He looks up at her as he hears the door open, and he looks pissed.
"You need to be in bed," he grumbles, ducking his head into his arms.
"Well, I'm not going until you come back inside."
They're in a stalemate. Jax won't look at her, but Pomni isn't backing down. If he doesn't give in eventually, she's going to collapse, but she persists anyway. She doesn't care anymore.
"Why won't you talk to me? Just once," she begs quietly. "I'll forget it all after, I won't hold you to your word. By tomorrow, it'll mean nothing. Just look me in the eyes and talk to me."
At first, Pomni thinks he's going to keep ignoring her, and then he drags himself to his feet and scoops her up into his arms. She lets out a strangled cry of pain as Jax carries her back to bed—and for a moment, she thinks she sees a look of guilt cross his face, but it's quickly masked by the same, cold anger she knows he wears so well. He lays her back down carefully, still drawing more pained whimpers from her lips, and by the time she's in bed where he wants her, she's hurting more than ever, her bandages beginning to soak through with blood.
"Fucking hell," Jax spits, sitting her back up, grabbing a pair of scissors and a roll of fresh bandages, and beginning to remove and replace the bloodied wrap.
"Talk to me," Pomni demands, gritting her teeth through the pain.
He's silent, dressing her wounds without a word.
"Talk to me, Jax. You can't keep giving me the silent treatment forever!"
He doesn't even look her in the eyes.
"God, you are awful! It's like a horrible rollercoaster with you, and I never know what I'm going to get! Do you just like jerking me around? Does that get you off? Well congratulations, you got what you wanted! You-"
"I need you. Okay?" When Jax finally cuts her off, his voice cracks over the words. "Is that what you want to hear? I need you, I can't do this without you, if I lose you, I lose everything, and I can't take that!"
The silence that hangs between them is deafening. Their eyes are locked together, his angry and hers searching. There is no right answer.
"Whatever," Jax mumbles as he finishes rewrapping her abdomen, carefully lying her back down against the mattress, before moving to leave again. "If you-"
Pomni catches his wrist in a weak grip. "Please don't go..."
Jax looks back at her, his pupils blown wide. He doesn't have to speak to ask her what she means, if she wants him to stay in the room for the night or if she's giving in, asking him not to abandon her to go back to headquarters.
She simply squeezes his wrist with what little strength she has. "I don't want to be here alone. Ple-"
Before she can finish, his mouth is on hers. Jax kneels by her bedside, kissing her slowly, and Pomni does not hesitate a moment to kiss him back. Her free hand curls around the back of his neck, keeping him close, as if he might take off at a moment's notice if she doesn't hold him there with her.
It's not rushed or forceful; it's actually... sweet. Jax's hand cradles her face, his thumb brushing fondly across her cheekbone. Pomni leans into his touch, her tongue slipping between his lips to kiss him deeper. When she eventually has to pull back to breathe, her eyes are hazy, half lidded, gazing up at Jax.
"You'll stay?" she whispers.
Jax just nods, only letting go of her to move to the other side of the bed and lie next to her. "I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart..."
Before she knows it, they're kissing again, Jax leaning over her so she doesn't have to strain herself. He's so gentle with her, his lips straying down her neck and his free hand resting on her hip, carefully brushing over the small expanse of skin between her waistband and her bandages. This time, when a soft whimper escapes her lips, it's not a pained sound.
Pomni's fingers skim under the collar of Jax's shirt, and her head tips back eagerly. She's already bruised to hell and back, but she almost likes the ache when Jax's mouth finds each mottled patch of skin. Her nails scratch lightly at his back. If she wasn't so injured, she'd be all over him. It's cruel, actually, that he chose this moment to finally give in to the pull that's been slowly tugging them toward the inevitable.
She doesn't know how long they spent like that, Jax lavishing her with affection, seemingly unphased that she's too hurt to reciprocate in any way but to lay back and sigh softly at every touch, but at some point, things slow to a halt, and Pomni can feel exhaustion beginning to overtake her. She needs to sleep. They still haven't made a decision about what will happen in the morning, but it will have to wait until they can think more clearly in the light of day.
Without any conversation about it, Jax curls up in the bed next to her, pressing himself into her side. "Wake me if you need anything," he mumbles, and Pomni's heart feels warm and soft.
"I will... Goodnight, Jax..."
"Night, Pom..."
She falls asleep hopeful. They've spent so long dancing around whatever they are, each adventure inching them closer and closer, and now that they've crossed this line, there is no going back. They're more than friends, more than partners, and whatever that is exactly, they can figure it out together. As Pomni slips into unconsciousness, she can feel Jax nuzzling into her shoulder, a hand resting carefully on her collarbone to keep it far from her injuries. It's sweet; the last thought on her mind before it goes blank is, he does care...
And then, Pomni wakes up in bed alone.
As morning drags her from a heavy sleep, she shifts slightly to find there's no one curled up by her side, protective and warm and safe. She opens her eyes with a pained groan, and there's Jax, leaning against the wall by the bed, watching her intently.
"Christ, Jax, you could scare a girl half to death," she mutters, wiping the sleep from her eyes. She's vaguely confused, and she opens her mouth to ask him why he's up so early, why he didn't stay with her, but her questions are answered before she can even voice them.
"Hey, I was just waiting for you to wake up before I head out." Jax shrugs, noncommittal and uncaring.
Head out? He does look dressed for travel. Instead of his stealth gear, he's got on nice brown slacks and a white button down shirt, sleeves rolled up just past his elbows. It's stealth in the sense that he blends into a crowd: nice and presentable, but not notable in any way.
Pomni takes in his words and his clothes and looks genuinely confused. "You're... leaving?"
"Isn't that what you told me to do? You're right, we can't waste any time, and as soon as I'm back at HQ, I'll send medical to come get you." His words are cold, his tone all business. "Don't tell me you changed your mind, because I'm not going to argue with you again."
"No it's not that, just..." Pomni grimaces as she slowly pushes herself more upright. "What about... last night? We... Jax, you're not going to say anything, you're just leaving?"
Jax cocks his head, looking at her like she's crazy. "What about last night? What happened to, we'll forget it all in the morning, it won't mean anything?"
He doesn't even seem phased as a look of utter betrayal crosses Pomni's face. Her heart breaks as she remembers what she said in her desperation to get him to talk to her.
"I... I didn't think-"
"No, clearly you didn't," Jax spits, cutting her off and turning his back to her, tucking a pistol in his briefcase, and shutting the lid. "Kinda pathetic. You go on and on about how you won't hold me to whatever I say, but you're all talk, aren'tcha? You can't help but believe me, and seriously, for your own good? Stop doing that."
"Then what was all that?" Pomni glares at Jax, but he doesn't even look at her as he rips her heart out and dashes it against the carpet.
"A lie to shut you up."
Pomni goes quiet. Does he really hate her that much? That he was willing to hurt her so deeply just so she'd stop annoying him? Fine. If that's all he wants, she can give him that.
She lays back down against the pillows, closing her eyes and listening to the sounds of Jax putting on his suit coat and packing up to leave. There is nothing she can do to change his mind. She can't make him love her, so why waste her energy trying?
After a few moments, Jax's movements still, and Pomni can imagine him standing at the foot of her bed, his pupils blown wide as he stares at her and says nothing. She doesn't reward him with a response at all, and after a minute or two of silence, he leaves the room without another word.
Only then does she allow herself to cry.