Archive of Our Own

Frank battled down the narrow street against the wind. It was a typical Autumn day in Dublin, cold and windy.  

He had his coat zipped right up to his neck, all the things in his arms braced against the biting wind, trying to keep his feet from slipping on the uneven and wet cobblestones. The weather had been all over the place that day, rain in the morning, cold but sunny when Frank left his place to head to some galleries, and by the time he exited the last, it was hazy and windy.  

A particularly strong gust of wind stopped Frank right in his tracks, sending the art prints he had in his hands flying back down the street behind him. They skid through the puddles and over cobblestones before stopping at someone else's feet.  

"Fucking shit," Frank muttered to himself as he ran back down the street to pick up the ruined things, "I'm really sorry man," he apologised, standing up with the soaked items in hand to look at who his things had hit.  

Frank was struck first by the breathtaking smile on the mans face, lips and cheeks pink from the cold, small teeth on show. He had pale skin, dark hair that curled a little at the ends, and hypnotising hazel eyes that reminded Frank of hot, golden whiskey. He was also taller than Frank, not that that was unusual, and wrapped up in swathes of black clothes and scarves.  

"Nah, don't worry about it," the man replied, Jersey accent strong and the first he'd heard since he'd left; "Sorry about your stuff," he said, look at the things Frank was carrying. 

"Yeah me too," Frank laughed, sighing and stepping into a doorway beside them to shelter from the wind. The man stepped in beside him surprisingly so Frank introduced himself.  

"Gerard Way," the man replied, shaking Frank's hand, "I'll sort you out with some new prints," he smiled, fishing cigarettes from his pocket.  

Frank was confused for a moment before a remembered the name of the artist on the prints he'd bought in the gallery. "There's are yours aren't they," Frank asked.  

"Yeah," Gerard laughed, putting a cigarette between his lips and offering the pack to Frank who took one, "Did you like them?" 

Frank nodded as he took a pull from the cigarette, "Yeah! Totally caught my eye, couldn't leave the place without a print, your stuff is really great, Gerard." 

Gerard blushed and looked down at the ground with a grin on his face, "Thanks, Frank, I'm glad you liked it." 

They stood in silence do a short while as they smoked, sometimes catching one another's eyes and trying to contain their smiles. Frank felt like a teenager alone with their crush for the first time even though he'd just met Gerard.  

"So," Frank said eventually, "Jersey boy, what brings you to Dublin?" he asked, leaning back against one side of the doorway as Gerard leant opposite him.  

Gerard grinned at the term before answering, "Running," he answered vaguely, "from someone," he added, "What about you, Frank?" 

"From something," he answered equally as vaguely, "What are you looking for here then?" 

"Anything," Gerard replied. 

"Me too." 

The two men finished their smokes in silence, watching the people on the street go about their business.  

"So Frank, are you living here or on vacation?" Gerard asked, a quizzical look on his face.  

"I moved here a few months ago," Frank explained, "I work on music, like producing and sound teching, I play in bands sometimes too, just guesting really." 

"Awesome," Gerard smiled, "I'll have to hear you play sometime. I'm living here too, I got kinda lucky actually, got an opportunity right when I was looking to get out of Jersey to do a residency in some studios here. Someone over the studios had seen some of my works in a private gallery and liked them enough to invite me here," Gerard explained.  

"That's really cool, I'm glad you got away from whatever it was at the time," Frank smiled genuinely at Gerard who was still blushing a little, before he checked his watched, "Shit, Gerard, I gotta go, I'm helping a band with a show tonight and sound check is soon," Frank said in an apologetic tone.  

"It's okay, the art studio I'm in is at the end of this street above the gallery. You should come over anytime after eleven tomorrow and I'll sort you out with those prints, yeah?" Gerard asked hopefully.  

Frank was so for seeing Gerard again that the words "I'll be there" left his mouth before he could even think about it, and they parted ways after exchanging numbers.  

Frank probably did put a little more effort than usual into his appearance the next morning but he wasn't going to admit that. He didn't have to wrap up quite as much as he headed out the door but he put on a scarf anyway, grabbing two coffees in the Starbucks near the studio before heading to the private entrance for the studios around the corner from the gallery. After telling the person who answered that he was looking for Gerard Way, then man himself burst out the door a moment later. He was wearing a huge smile on his face, as well as an old The Smiths sweater pushed up to his elbows and black jeans, there were bits of blue pain everywhere, including his left cheekbone, but he still looked hot.  

"Hey Frank! You brought coffee!" he exclaimed, ushering Frank inside and up the stairs to the studios. 

"Yeah, thoughts you might like some," Frank laughed, following Gerard to his studio space in the corner with two windows for the outside walls. The other walls that encased the space were probably white at one time, Frank thought, but were now so covered in art and rough-works that he couldn't see the wall. He was pretty amazed by it all.  

"You brought your camera?" Gerard asked, coffee cup already held to his face.  

Frank looked down and in fact his camera was in his hands, he'd come so used to carrying it around since he moved to Dublin that it was like picking up his keys and phone when he left the house. "Yeah I guess I did," he laughed, "I'm used to it I guess, it's a hobby, hope you don't mind me having it here, I won't take it out if you don't want me to?" 

Gerard smiled and shook his head, "It's fine, I was just curious. And take what pictures you like, it's a form of art too," he assured Frank.  

"I suppose," Frank smiled back and blushing, looking at Gerard from behind his own coffee.  

Frank had planned to stay around for an hour at the most but it was eight that evening before they dumped the pizza box they'd ordered in and left the studio. They'd spent the whole day talking, they had a lot in common taste wise, and even reminisced about growing up in New Jersey as teens. Frank sat by the big windows and watched Gerard work as they talked, snapping pictures of the artist at work as well as the street below. It was the best day off he'd had in a long time.  

"You should totally come to the recording studio I work in tomorrow, it's literally a 2 minute walk from yours and I'll be in there all day mastering," Frank suggested hopefully, shuffling awkwardly on his feet with his hands in his pockets.  

"I'd love that," Gerard grinned even wider, "I'll see you tomorrow Frank." 

Gerard arrived at 12:30 the next day with coffee and takeout pad-Thai for some lunch. 

"Thanks Gerard, I usually get so wrapped up in here that I forget the time," Frank smiled, taking off his cardigan and sitting down beside Gerard on the little couch in the dimly lit studio.  

"Frank, your tattoos!" Gerard exclaimed, almost knocking over all the food and coffee to lean over and look at Frank's arms.  

"Yeah?" Frank laughed, "You did know I had them right?" he asked, amused by how locked on Gerard was to them. He only had his sleeves pushed up to his elbows.  

"Well, yeah, I mean I had seen your hands and your neck but I guess you have way more than I thought... You have more than this?" Gerard asked, looking at Frank with wide eyes, his voice even sounded a little strangled.  

"Maybe," Frank grinned, just to tease.  

"Shit," Gerard whispered, his fingers ghosting over Frank's wrists before he pulled back, swallowing audibly. "Sorry," he said to Frank, a blush deepening on his cheeks as he handed Frank his container of food.  

"It's okay, man," Frank chuckled before eating some more of the food. "Hey, so uhm, it's Halloween tomorrow, do you have any plans?" Frank asked nervously, preparing himself to be shot down.  

"No, I don't. I mean, I was going to go out but I don't really have anyone to go with so..." 

"Okay, well you see it's my birthday tomorrow and some of the guys I work with are bring me out to just have a few drinks or whatever, just mark the occasion really.. I wondered if maybe you wanted to come? Like you don't need to, I'm sure you'd much rather stay in than see me yet again tomorrow, but, yeah, if it took your fancy?" Frank mumbled.  

"Frank, I'd love to come and celebrate your birthday with you, from what I've heard from you the guys you work with are pretty cool too," Gerard said reassuringly, "it's also totally awesome that your birthday is Halloween. Should I dress up?"  

Frank shrugged, "You don't have to but I am." 

"I'll throw something together," Gerard grinned.  

Gerard stayed for the rest of the day with Frank in the studio, sketching away on the couch as Frank mastered, chatting all the while. It amazed Frank how they hadn't run out of conversation yet, he usually fell victim to awkward silences with people but not with Gerard. It was made even stranger by Frank's huge crush on him, usually Frank was a mess around people he liked but Gerard way different. Everything about him was from what Frank had experienced before, and it was exactly what Frank needed right then.  

Gerard wrangled together something to wear last minute and at nine on Halloween night made his way to the rock bar that was a short walk across the river and down the quays from the studio. He had opted to dressing up as a priest, because it was easiest and fun to do. He didn't look the traditional priest though, in the black skinny jeans a fitted black shirt he'd worn to the studio that day with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He slid some white material under his collar to replicate a clerical collar and painted "BIBLE" in white onto a piece of black cardboard. His old, worn biker boots on his feet certainly didn't look priestly but he wasn't going to change them.  

The bar was dimly lit and had the grimy feel of a rock bar, music loud but not too loud, and not annoyingly busy. Gerard spotted Frank sitting at a table in the corner with some other guys. He was dressed up as a vampire, tight slacks, flowy white shirt, cape and fake blood.  

Frank turned around when one of the guys had nodded in Gerard's direction, and Frank's smile was actually beaming an Gerard felt a little weak. He wanted Frank to look as happy as that always.  

"Hey, Gerard! You came," Frank smiled, moving over a little on the bench to let Gerard sit down. 

"Of course I did, I brought you something too," Gerard smiled back, putting down the cardboard bible and opening his messenger bag. He pulled out a couple of prints, which he'd signed and left little notes on the back of for Frank, and then some sketches he'd made of in the music studio and have them to Frank.  

"I know it's not much, it was kinda last minute, but I hope they're okay?" Gerard asked nervously.  

"Dude," Frank breathed, "They're fucking awesome, thank you so much! Hey guys, look at these," Frank said passing them off to the other four guys at the table. "This is Aiden, Rob, Seán and Declan," he said to Gerard, "Aiden and Rob are brothers and they're in a band I work with, Seán and Declan are in the industry." 

Gerard shook hands with each guy before going and buying all of them a drink, beers and a coke for himself. "You don't drink?" Frank asked when Gerard put down all the drinks.  

"No, not anymore," Gerard shrugged, fiddling uncomfortably with the cardboard bible.  

"That's cool," Frank said, brushing the subject off, "I really like your costume, it looks really good," he went on.  

"Eh, it was very last minute but thanks, Frank. I love yours though, you can never go wrong with a vampire." 

"I know right! That's what I told them!" Frank laughed, eyes shining, teeth white, lips pink and rounded off by Danzig to soundtrack the moment.  

A couple of hours later they were standing in the divide between the indoors and the outdoor smoking area, chatting and laughing and having the best night Gerard could remember having for a long time.  

"Time for kisses!" Aiden announced to the pub, "The tattooed vampire is 24, you know what to do!"  

Cheers went up around the bar, and Gerard, being confused turned to ask Frank what was going on to find him laughing into his hands.  

"What's going on?" he asked anyways, watching as people started to make their way towards them.  

"It's an Irish thing I think," Frank explained, still laughing and looking a little embarrassed, "You get a kiss for each year, either that or a punch in the arm apparently." 

"What the fuck?" Gerard laughed.  

"I know right?" replied Frank just as people started coming up.  

Gerard stood back and cheered along with the crowd as people came up to Frank, counting them as they went. The girls kissed his cheeks, the men usually gave a manly pat on the back and rough kiss on the side of the head. Gerard had just counted person twenty three Aiden shoved him lightly in the shoulder.  

"C'mon, your turn now," Aiden smirked, knowing exactly what he was pushing between the two men. When Gerard looked speechlessly and blushing at Frank, Frank was look right back with a nervous but almost hopeful expression.  

Fuck it Gerard thought, and he moved over to Frank, cupped his face in his hands and pressed their lips together. Frank's hands flailed for a moment before landing on Gerard's sides and pressing back into the simple, lingering kiss.  

Gerard pulled back a moment later and moved to whisper in Frank's ear, "Happy Birthday Frank," before pressing a kiss to Frank's cheek and sliding his hands down to hold Frank's.  

Frank was smiling ear to ear and that's when Gerard heard the crowd in the pub cheering and whistling and noticed the flashes of cameras. A girl who looked to be part of a bachelorette party ran up to them and handed them three Polaroids before running back to her friends. The pictures depicted Frank and Gerard embracing and smiling  at each other, Frank was still smiling when Gerard looked back up at him.  

An hour later they were outside smoking together in companionable silence when Frank turned to him, "I like you an awful lot. Let's take this slow, yeah?" he posed.  

Gerard smiled to himself before turning to Frank, "Yeah, I'd appreciate that," he replied, he don't need a repeat of his last relationship and he didn't want to fuck it up with Frank.  

Frank kissed his cheek shyly before returning his cigarette to between his lips.  

"So, uhm, do you want to come back to my place? Just to hang out?" Frank proposed a while later, his other friends had all split up and got lost in the crowd a while ago.  

"Yeah, that sounds like a plan." 

Frank's place was a twenty-five minute walk away, which they spent holding hands, chatting and watching as the Halloween crowds gathered around bars. His place was a huge ,old, four storey town house that had been split into apartments with Frank on the second floor. Most of the floor served as the kitchen/living room/office/music room, it was a big space with high ceilings and big windows so it could take it. Other than that there was a modestly sized bedroom and bathroom attached.  

"Welcome to my crib and all that," Frank said as they entered, taking off the cape and kicking off his shoes, "You want some coke?" he asked, walking towards his kitchen.  

"Water is fine," Gerard replied sitting down on Frank's small couch and throwing his slightly crumpled cardboard bible on the coffee table that was already laden with actual books.  

Looking around Gerard found most of the walls to be taken up by bookshelves, art or photographs Frank himself had taken. It was hard to look at them now seeing as the apartment was only lit by a few lamps dotted around but Gerard promised himself he'd look at them the next chance he got.  

Frank sat down beside Gerard on the couch and handed him his glass of water, he took a drink before putting it down and turning back to Frank. Frank was smiling at him, bottom lip between his teeth for a moment before a leant in and kissed Gerard softly.  

Gerard made an appreciative noise and put a hand on the back of Frank's neck to keep their lips together. This seemed to spur Frank on, sucking Gerard's bottom lip between his for a second before nipping it an them smoothing it over with his tongue. Gerard opened his mouth right up for Frank as he leant back against the arm of the couch and pulled Frank with him. Frank hummed happily and put his hands in Gerard's hair, no doubt messing it up to no end but Gerard didn't really care when he had Frank's tongue in his mouth.  

They made out happily for a short while before pulling back with grins on their faces.  

"You know," Gerard smiled, "I think that it's frowned upon for priests to make out with vampires, let alone hot male ones." 

"Fuck that," Frank giggled, pecking Gerard's lips before getting off the couch. "Let's go to bed, we can cuddle there," Frank yawned, holding his hand out for Gerard to take.  

Frank gave Gerard sweatpants and a T-shirt to sleep in, they were a little small but they did what they needed to, and let Gerard use an unopened toothbrush Frank had in his bathroom. When Gerard came out of the bathroom Frank was already under the covers, holding on side open for Gerard to climb in beside him. Gerard smiled and cuddled up against Frank's side, resting his head on Frank's shoulder and throwing a leg across his.  

"This is very nice," Gerard smiled easily, savouring the warmth and solidness of Frank's body.  

"I agree," Frank replied, moving his hand from Gerard's side to comb through his hair with his fingers.  

Gerard thought about how much he liked Frank, how it seemed to hit him all of a sudden and how fucking scared he was that he'd mess this up. "The person I'm running from is my ex," he said into the dark, deciding Frank should know why Gerard felt like such a fuck up. "If we're going to go for this you need to know, so you can get out before this goes any further." 

"Gerard," Frank interrupted, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." 

"I do, Frank, you should know. My ex, Chris, he was rough, fucked up for want of a better word. When my grandmother died I mourned and grieved and then a few months later I met Chris. He was really tall, blonde, could've been a model if he wasn't so  insistent on ruining himself; he's not even my type but he was so reckless and that attracted me. I guess at the time I seen it as living in the moment or something, I didn't see how destructive he was," Gerard shrugged and felt Frank's hold on him tighten a little.  

"I used to enjoy a drink, I was responsible about it, I got drunk yeah, but I knew when to stop and I never craved it. But when Chris came along that changed, I'm not sure what happened but I don't think there was a time in our relationship, or whatever you call what that was, that I didn't have alcohol in my blood. He liked to make me upset as then be the only person to comfort me, make me think I could depend on him. It wasn't comfort though, it was a new bottle of Jack or pills or telling me that the coke would make me feel better," Gerard remembered, a shudder running through his body as he remembered the horrible comedown of a high.  

"Really I think he gave me all that stuff to make me more pliant, so he could do what he wanted, if I said no he'd manipulate me into it, saying that he'd leave me and I'd have no one, if I said no after that I'd get upset, he'd give me more stuff until I passed out." 

"Jesus Christ, Gerard," Frank breathed.  

"I know. Anyways, it was like that for a while, I never really seen anything wrong with it I thought he loved me and he was just that kinda guy, and he wasn't bad all of the time." 

"I guess I finally came around to what everyone had been saying when he started doing shooting up on anything thing he could get into a syringe. He was hooked from the start, it was a mess, but he kept pushing it on me, asking if he could inject me. Fuck. I'm terrified of needles and he knew that but pushed anyways saying I didn't love him if I wouldn't let him. I don't know where the soberness came from, but I knew I had to get out of there, so I told him to go to his dealer and get more stuff and when he was gone I left, ran home to mom and dad. I got help and got sober." 

"Fuck. Gerard, did you go to the police about what he did to you?" Frank asked, Gerard could heard Frank's heart racing in his chest.  

"No. I didn't. By the time I was even in any right frame of mind Chris had found some new guy to shoot up with and I was just tired. I wanted to leave it all behind, not talk about it. So I chose just to forget," Gerard explained in monotone.  

"And are you still okay with never having done anything about it?"  

Gerard shrugged, "I don't know, I guess I wish maybe I had tried, but I don't think it would've worked or done anything for me. It worked out better for me that I just tried to move on because I'm here with you now, I'm okay now. I know now that I didn't love him, and I don't miss anything about him now I know that there's better out there." 

"You know I'd never, ever ask you to do something you don't want to unless I thought it was good for you, like facon," Frank said earnestly.  

Gerard laughed at the last bit before craning his neck to place a kiss on Frank's jaw, "I know you wouldn't, I know that, Frank," Gerard told him, "I guess I thought you needed to know all of that because you can get out if you want to, I'm fucked up so it's understandable. And I guess I'm not used to the notion of a healthy relationship, I don't know how it works, I was no Don Juan before Chris," Gerard laughed, "So, I don't want to fuck this up because of my lack or experience or my warped ideas of what a relationship should be. You gotta tell me if I'm doing something wrong," Gerard asked, getting up onto one elbow to look at Frank in the eyes. When he did that of course, he noticed that Frank's eyes were red and wet.  

"Fuck. Three hours and I've already made you cry, I'm so sorry, Frank," Gerard sighed, turning and swinging his legs out of the bed. 

"Gerard," he heard Frank call, and then he felt Frank move and wrap his arms around him from behind, "I was just sad thinking about that pain you went through, but I'm happy that you're here now Gerard," Frank explained, holding Gerard tighter and pressing his cheek to the side of Gerard's neck, "You didn't do anything wrong, Gerard,  I promise. I'm so happy you're here." 

"Frank," Gerard sighed, letting his head fall forward between his shoulders.  

"Gerard," Frank said more sternly, "please, just get back in the bed, I want you here if you want to be here." 

"I do want to be here," Gerard said as he turned his head to look at Frank who smiled gently at him before placing a chaste kiss on his lips and pulling Gerard into the bed again.  

"Then stay," Frank said, wrapping his arms around Gerard and holding him until they fell asleep.  

Gerard woke to the smell of coffee and when he opened his eyes Frank with coming into the room with two cups in hand. Gerard rubbed his eyes and sat up against the headboard.  

"Mornin'" he smiled sleepily, taking a cup from Frank as he sat down beside him.  

"Sleep good?" Frank asked, hooking an ankle around one of Gerard's and leaning against his arm.  

"Really good, yeah," Gerard blushed, "What time you got to be in the studio today?"  

"One o'clock, there's a band booked in then so I gotta help them out a little," Frank told him, "Wish I could stay here," he sighed, turning and pressing his face against Gerard's neck, breathing him in.  

"You should come to my place afterward for dinner," Gerard suggested, he had a day planned in his studio too but he wanted to see Frank as much as he could, "I make a good veggie pasta bake." 

"I'm sure you do," Frank grinned against his neck before nipping a piece of skin, making Gerard gasp before kissing over it. Frank didn't know it but Gerard had a neck and biting thing, which worked out well because Frank really liked Gerard's neck.  

But Gerard wasn't thinking about that then, just Frank's lips; that's why he put down their cups and turned to kiss Frank. They kissed heavily, wrapped together at the head of the bed. "I can't believe I get to kiss you," Gerard breathed onto Frank's lips, his hands tangled in the smaller mans hair. He wondered how long he'd be able to go slow for.  

"You get to do whatever you want when you're ready, taking this easy yeah?" Frank panted, his hands clutching Gerard's hips like his life depended on it.  

"Yeah. Still wanna kiss you though," Gerard said before putting his mouth to better use kissing Frank's. Doing that Gerard decided that Frank and his mouth were his favourite things ever.  

They didn't pull back until they were desperate for air and their coffee was cold. Gerard got dressed and made his way out to the other room to drink more coffee while Frank showered. By the time Frank had come out of his room Gerard was by one of the windows, coffee cup in hand, swaying and singing along to "Let's Dance" by David Bowie. Frank smiled and listened to Gerard's voice fill the room.  

"If you say hide, we'll hide 

Because my love for you 

Would break my heart in two 

If you should fall 

Into my arms 

And tremble like a flower" Gerard sang, moving in time with the music, "Let's dance put on your red shoes and dance the blues." His voice wasn't like Bowies but still really good in Frank's opinion. Frank walked over quietly and put his hands on Gerard's hips, singing along too. 

"Let's dance to the song they're playin' on the radio." Frank sang, laughing at how startled Gerard was and how much he was blushing, but Frank didn't move. "I didn't know you could sing," he grinned, resting his chin on Gerard's shoulder. 

"My grandmother wanted me to be in musicals," Gerard laughed, looking down at his feet shyly, his insides were all bubbly with Frank against his back like that.  

"You can move too," Frank added, "it's totally unfair that you were dancing in these jeans and we have to be out of here in ten minutes," he whined, pouting when Gerard looked amused.  

"We can dance tonight," he laughed, turning around and pecking Frank's lips, "I'll make you coffee, you get all your stuff ready to go," he urged, pushing Frank in the direction of his room while he made him a coffee in a travel mug.  

For the next two weeks Frank and Gerard were with each other every moment they got a chance, Gerard even had the spare key to Frank's place because they spent so much time there and it made sense for Gerard to go and get food ready if Frank was running late for work. It felt so natural, so domestic for one to unlock the door and find the other there, greet them with a kiss, it felt like home.  
 

They sat on a bench outside a café smoking and drinking coffee in the sun. Gerard had an arm around Frank's shoulders and Frank had a hand on Gerard's knee as they sat in comfortable silence and watched the world go by.  

"I inherited a fortune and I couldn't handle it so I left Jersey," Frank says all of a sudden, making Gerard frown an push his sunglasses up onto his head.  

"Huh? What?" Gerard asks, turning so he can look at Frank's face but he leaves his arm where it is around him. 

"I need to tell you why I left Jersey," he explained, turning a little towards Gerard too and holding his hand more for himself than anything else. "My mom and dad were never really together, didn't really plan me, so as a kid I lived with mom and seen dad on the weekends and stayed with his parents if mom was working. My relationship with my father petered out in my teens and I hadn't seen him in ages when he died suddenly," Frank explained, Gerard had already known that Frank's dad had died but he squeezed his hand comfortingly anyway.  

"It was a weird time, we were all grieving and we had his company on our back about the will. He had a pretty huge telecoms thing, it was worth a whole fucking lot of money, Gerard, they wouldn't back off so with them and the media we just went ahead with the reading of the will early..." Frank sighs then and seems to drift into his own thoughts until Gerard gently nudges him.  

"Sorry," he mumbles before continuing, "Basically, he left the entire company to me and it was completely unexpected, we all thought he'd break it up between his managers and stuff but he left it all to me. People were mad, and the media were on my back because I was so young and I owned this huge company and they wanted to know what I was going to do, if I would take it on and run it. I couldn't do that, I just couldn't do that, that wasn't me and I wouldn't have had a clue what I was doing either. I thought for a while but it got too much, everyone was on my back, I couldn't go anywhere without someone stopping me to ask or shoving a microphone in my face so I just said fuck it, and sold the whole thing   I gave some of the money to my relatives and fucked off here because no one knew me. I couldn't stay there, not after everyone wanted a piece of me, of the money. I thought maybe it could've worked out but after I tried to date I realised people wanted my money. I met you and I knew it wouldn't be like that, you didn’t know who I was, and even if you had of you didn’t care. I found someone I could trust in you," he concluded.  

"I didn't know it was like that for you Frank," Gerard said thoughtfully, "I guess when I was in recovery I didn't pay attention to what was in the news so that's why I didn't know. But know that it doesn't change anything for me now, your money doesn't change go a I feel about you Frank, and it won't affect how I think about you. Okay?" Gerard asked, holding his hand a little tighter.  

"Yeah I know," Frank smiled, "I just wanted you to know anyway." 

Gerard smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple, "I was wondering how your studio job paid for such a nice place," he laughed to lighten the mood.  

"As well as pay for your coffee addiction," Frank grinned back, lightly punching Gerard's ribs before curling his fingers in the fabric of his T-shirt.  

"And your insistence on expensive, but really, really good, coffee," Gerard quipped.  

"I just like to treat you," Frank pouts playfully.  

"I'm not complaining!" Gerard says quietly as he slides a hand up behind Frank's neck an leans in for a kiss.  

"Yeah didn't think so," Frank whispers against his lips before they kiss sweet and slow.  

It was a Saturday morning and Frank and Gerard had hardly seen each other for four days. A band at his studio had their album deadline moved up by their record company, and seeing as they all had day jobs they would record at night to get it done, then Frank would master and produce it during the day. He was only ever home for a few hours at a time to eat and sleep.  

Gerard hadn't been able to sleep on Friday night despite lying in (Frank's) bed for hours trying to, so had instead conceded defeat to insomnia and had stayed up all night drawing. Frank stumbled in the door at ten Saturday morning, disheveled but smiling at Gerard.  

"Why are you awake?" he asked sleepily, getting a granola bar from the kitchen and starting to eat it.  

Gerard followed him over and filled him a glass of water, "Couldn't sleep," he explained, though he was feeling like he could now.  

"We finished the album, done and dusted," Frank yawned before taking the glass of water and downing it.  

"Great," Gerard smiled, taking the glass from Frank and putting it down, "Go take a shower and freshen up, then let's go to bed," he said, turning the sleepy man and pushing him in the direction of the bedroom.  

They stood side by side in the bathroom brushing their teeth and then Gerard got into bed, waiting for Frank to shower and join him.  

"Missed this," Frank mumbled when he joined Gerard, letting the artist spoon him and hold him tightly.  

"Me too," Gerard hummed burying his nose in Frank's hair, "Sleep Frankie," he added.  

"Mhmm. Night Gee," he heard Frank reply jut as Gerard was quickly drifting off, "Luh you." Gerard was asleep before he could decipher what Frank had said.  

It was the evening when they woke up, smiling sleepily a one another. When they finally felt like moving they got up, Gerard went for a shower and Frank made them French toast for breakfast, putting on some music to soundtrack the evening. "I'm glad you're home," Gerard said as they ate, and neither of them found it strange that Gerard thought of this as home.  

"Me too," Frank agreed, bumping Gerard's shoulder lightly with his own.  

Gerard was washing their plates when Starman by David Bowie came on the radio, making him sway and bounce about at the sink until the chorus broke in and he spun around to come over to Frank who was sitting by one of the windows smoking.  

"There's a Starman waiting in the sky!" Gerard exclaimed, pulling Frank up and spinning him around, "He'd like to come and meet us but he'd blow our minds!" he sung, pulling Frank around the room and singing making Frank laugh until he just had to swallow his voice in kisses. Gerard kissed back until the next chorus kicked in and he was mumbling it against Frank's lips. They were laughing and Gerard was singing and they kissed as best they could anyway, right there by the window cast in orange sunset rays.  

It was like a fun battle for dominance which Gerard eventually won, the song finishing with 'la, la, la's and Gerard was quiet literally licking into Frank's mouth doing them.  

"You're relentless," Frank laughed into Gerard's shoulder when the song faded out. 

"I love David Bowie," was the best answer to that Gerard could think of.  

"I love you," Frank retorted, realising that his comeback had actually been vocalised and that Gerard was now standing still. Shit, Frank thought.  

"That's what you said last night," Gerard said, Frank looked up to see a realisation dawning on Gerard's face, "You said it before we fell asleep and I didn't know what you said," he explained.  

"Shit. Gerard, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that, fuck -I mean it, I totally do. I don't want you to feel like you have to say it back, I know this is really quick," Frank was freaking out now, had he scared Gerard now? He didn't want to pressure him, he didn't want to be like Chris. "Fuck. I'm sorry. I have no idea why I feel like this after such a sort time but I totally understand you don't feel like that," he went on, he had his back to Gerard now, shamefully hiding his face.  

"Hey," Gerard interrupted his spiel, "Shut the fuck up," he said as he rounded Frank and placed his hands on his cheeks to lift his face so they could look a each other, "I'd pick you over Bowie," he said, a small smile on the corner of his mouth, eyes ablaze in the light.  

Frank actually smiled and his heart startled, he knew that was Gerard's I love you too, so he kissed him. In comparison to the playful kisses of moments ago this was heated, passionate. Gerard walked Frank back towards the couch with his hands on his hips until his legs hit it and he sat down, Gerard following him without parting their lips, straddling Frank's lap.  

"I don't want to go slow anymore," Gerard breathed over Frank's lips, he just wanted Frank so much, needed to be with Frank intimately like that.  

Frank pulled back an looked at Gerard, "Are you sure? I don't want this to be a rash decision just because of what we said," he told Gerard, squeezing his hips lightly.  

"Yeah, I'm sure, I was thinking about this before, please, Frank," Gerard asked, carding his fingers in Frank's hair, his lips pressed to Frank's jaw, grinding his hips against Frank's to show him how much he wanted this.  

Frank moaned involuntarily, "Yeah, yeah okay," he nodded, his hands sliding down to squeeze Gerard's ass as they resumed making out. "You said you thought about this," Frank gasped, "What did you think about?" 

Gerard pulled on Frank's bottom lip with his teeth before answering, "You, Frank, your tattoos, your skin, your body, I want to see it, touch you, feel your skin," Gerard spilled, tugging on Frank's T-shirt until he lifted his arms and Gerard could take it off of him. "This, Frank," Gerard said, running his fingers over Frank's chest piece, "God. You're so beautiful Frank," he said reverently, leaning in to kiss Frank's neck, his tattoos there, down to his collarbones, biting and sucking and leaving marks in his wake.  

Frank couldn't bring himself to move from where he sat with his hands on Gerard's thighs, letting Gerard's tongue trace the tattoos in his torso.  

"Work of art, Frankie," Gerard rambled, sliding down to kneel on the ground between Frank's legs. He grabbed Frank's hips and pulled him so he was slouching more, so Gerard could reach the swallow tattoos with his mouth. "Gorgeous. Love these," he whispered as he ran his hands up Frank's thighs and around to his ass.  

Frank was so hard and desperate at this stage he could hardly form a sentence in his head, but seeing Gerard with his lips red from kissing Frank's skin he had to kiss him. He leant forward and took Gerard's face in his hands and dived straight in to heavy kissing, pulling back for seconds so he could remove Gerard's T-shirt.  

They kissed until Gerard pushed him back into his slumped position and placed his palms on Frank's hips. He kissed Frank's knees over his pajamas and moved his hand to grip Frank's hard cock through the thin material. Frank gasped, his head falling back.  

"'M gonna make this so good for you, Frankie," Gerard said in a husky voice. He hooked his fingers into Frank's waistband and pulled the practically offending material off Frank's legs, tossing it away. "More," Gerard almost moaned, looking at the tattoos on Frank's legs.  

"Gerard," Frank groaned, he felt like he was going crazy, he was so hard and the cool air in the room was such a strange sensation on his dick which was leaking just at the tip. He wanted to feel embarrassed about how his dick stood up over his stomach but his head was so consumed with needing to get his teeth onto Gerard's pale, toned chest later that he wasn't. "I haven't done anything in over a year, Gerard, I can't promise any amazing stamina," Frank told Gerard.  

"Me neither," Gerard admitted, "I'll still make this good for you, promise," he repeated, gripping the base of Frank's cock and giving it a squeeze to push the edge off. Frank moaned, biting his bottom lip hard; he had to close his eyes and concentrate on feeling and breathing for a moment.  

Gerard dragged his lips up the crease of Frank's thigh until he reached his hipbone and placed a little kiss on it, then the other. Gerard slowly fisted Frank's hot cock, watching it move in his hand, big and thick and making his mouth water. It occurred to Gerard in the haze of pleasepleaseplease that he was probably a little longer than Frank, but Frank was thicker but still not small by any means, and thankfully for Gerard he was always more into girth than length, loved to feel the stretch.  

He leant down and mouthed at the base, listening to the sounds Frank was making, the little whines and gasps as he mouthed and kissed up to the head.  

Gerard licked the head, pressing his tongue to the slit to savour the taste of Frank, moaning as he sucked the head into his mouth and lathed his tongue all around, holding down Frank's hips with his spare arm.  

"Holy s-shit," Frank exclaimed as Gerard started to suck, his hands flying to Gerard's head, not holding but more feeling the bobbing it was doing, his thumb pressed to the hinge of Gerard's jaw and feeling it work. Frank's eyes flew open when his dick hit the back of Gerard's throat and Gerard moaned. The sensation went right up Frank's spine and down to his toes like a fizz. Frank slid one hand lower to cup Gerard's jaw, putting his thumb right at the corner of Gerard's mouth to feel the way his dick moved past Gerard's red, slick lips. It looked so obscene.  

Gerard pulled back and payed attention to the head, knowing how sensitive it was he gave Frank's base a squeeze before pulling back completely.  

"Will you fuck my mouth?" Gerard asked Frank, looking at him with pleading eyes and debauched lips. He stroked up and down Frank's thighs with his hands, Frank groaned and his head fell back exposing his throat. Gerard smirked at the reaction and slipped one hand down to place featherlight touches on Frank's balls.  

Frank's head shot back up, "Yeah, yeah. If you want me to," he panted, running a thumb over Gerard's bottom lip before pulling him back in the direction of his dick.  

"So hot like this," Gerard mumbled before he licked precum off of Frank's head. He moved his head down, down, down, until his nose was in Frank's pubes and Frank was in his throat. Gerard loved this, being in a roll where he was on his knees with hands on his head, but still being so in control of what the other person felt. He loved the feel, the weight, the taste, the smell, loved it even more because it was Frank.  

Frank let out a long, low moan when Gerard swallowed, his throat rippling around Frank's cock. He pulled back and loosened his jaw, putting his hands under Frank's ass and squeezing go. 

Frank gave a slow, shallow thrust not wanting to hurt Gerard but it only resulted in Gerard making a frustrated noise and squeezing his ass again. So Frank gave him what he wanted and thrust properly, sliding into Gerard's throat and out again, holding Gerard's head in place with his fingers in his hair as he worked his hips up off the couch over and over again. It felt so good he couldn't even look, just listen to the happy sounds Gerard was making and he was just managing to hear over his own moans. But he had to look when he was getting close, had to see.  

His eyes moved down his own body, sheened with sweat and tattoos gleaming, to Gerard, his pale skin illuminated by the cool light coming through the window. He looked otherworldly. Fuck. Frank was lucky.  

His eyes moved to Gerard's face, his swollen lips, his cheekbones which looked even more sharp in the lighting and because his skin was pulled taut over them.  

He was only just holding on when he looked at Gerard's overall expression, the blissed look, the half lidded eyes, the sound of the moans, the fact he was pressing one hand to his own crotch. That's what made Frank loose it without warning, coming into Gerard's mouth with such force he saw stars. Gerard pulled back enough to swallow eagerly, catching it all and wringing every last drop from him before he let Frank go from his mouth and he climbed into Frank's lap to kiss him.  

It took Frank a few minutes to recover from the stupor of the intense orgasm, kissing Gerard back properly when he did, roaming Gerard's mouth with his tongue to catch every taste of himself and Gerard before it was gone. Gerard was rutting against his thigh desperately, and Frank thought they'd both go insane if he didn't get his hand into Gerard's sweatpants and touch him. So he did exactly that.  

Gerard came after a few strokes and encouraging words on Frank's part, moaning into Frank's kisses, jaw slack and sweaty. Frank stroked him through the aftershocks until he collapsed completely on top of Frank with his head on Frank's shoulder. Frank pulled his hand out and wiped it on his own discarded T-shirt before wrapping his arms around Gerard.  

"Shit," Gerard whispered, still trying to catch his breath.  

"Yeah," Frank agreed, sliding his hands down to the small of Gerard's back and appreciating the comforting weight of Gerard on him. "You're so hot," he told Gerard.  

Gerard laughed and pecked his neck, "Says you, Mr. Really Hot Musician Covered in Tattoos and with a big dick. Fourteen year old me in an alternate universe came in his pants and he doesn't even know why." 

"Oh yeah?" Frank laughed, "Well, Mr. Really Fucking Pretty With Pale Skin And Sinful Mouth And A Great Ass, I didn't get a look at your dick this time but it felt pretty big," Frank countered.  

"Yours is better," Gerard said, still speaking into the crook of Frank's neck, "Thicker, and still long. I'm so into that," Gerard said and Frank felt the words go down his spine.  

"Yeah but yours is long, I'm so into that. And it's no fucking pencil either, Gerard, you're thicker than average from what I could tell by my hand. Why are we arguing about our dicks?" Frank laughed.  

"Yeah, we both have amazing dicks," Gerard giggled, looking up at Frank with a lazy smile.  

"Awesome dicks," Frank agreed, pecking Gerard's lips with his own. "Are you a top or a bottom?" Frank asked, being versatile himself he always liked to get to figuring out if he was gonna top or bottom early on and save for awkward moments.  

Gerard shrugged, "I don't really have a preference? Sometimes I top, sometimes I bottom, it mostly depends on what the other person does you know. I bottomed with Chris," Gerard explained, the tip of his index finger tracing the lines of the others chest piece.  

"Awesome," Frank grinned, "I'm versatile too." 

"Really?" Gerard questioned, "this is going to be fun isn't it?" 

Frank laughed and pressed his mouth to Gerard's, he lingered a moment before Gerard parted them, standing up and holding his hand out. Frank didn't question it, just took Gerard's hand and let him lead him to the bedroom, swiping a bottle of water on the way. They lay down, Frank on the inside by the window as usual and Gerard took out his cigarettes. Frank watched him light one between his lips, wrapping his long slender fingers around it once it was lit and handing it over to Frank. He then lit one for himself and set an ashtray down between them.  

Gerard was so beautiful that Frank had to remind himself of his cigarette. He just let his eyes follow the lines of Gerard's body and get lost in it all.  

Since meeting Frank he had found himself taking more pictures of Gerard than anything else. Maybe he'd take a picture of a bridge, and one of Gerard looking at the bridge, or Gerard drinking coffee, or smoking or drawing or Gerard, Gerard, Gerard. He was so gorgeous Frank wanted to capture it all. Gerard had been self conscious about how often the lens was on him at first but to deal with it he'd end up just taking the camera and turning it on Frank instead. The hard drive Frank kept his photos on was fast turning into the documentation of their time together as well as his time in a new country.  

Frank itched for the camera now to document this moment, so he grabbed it from the window sill and snapped a picture of where their legs were tangled were tangled. Gerard just smiled at him as he put down the camera on the window still. Gerard put his cigarette out in the tray just after Frank did and put it back on bedside table.  

Frank smiled to himself and closed his eyes, he felt Gerard shuffling around beside him but he didn't open his eyes just yet. He just let himself bask.  

He opened his eyes when he felt Gerard place his hand over Frank's heart, Gerard was smiling gently down at him.  

"Hi," Frank whispered, smiling at Gerard and pushing some hair back that was hanging down around his face.  

"Hi," Gerard grinned, his eyes roaming Frank's face before they landed back on his eyes. Gerard's eyes were one of Frank's favourite things to look at, emerald in some light, but now they were the colour of hot whiskey. Gerard was smiling gently when Frank's brain switched back from eyeseyeseyes. "I love you," he whispered before leaning down to kiss him.  

Frank hummed against his lips and kissed back, pulling Gerard over him more and oh, his sweatpants were gone and they were Gerard's naked hips lining up with his.  

In minutes they were hard and grinding into each other, panting and touching any flesh they could find. Frank had Gerard on his back now and he was between his legs, kissing Gerard oh so pretty neck and chest, marking it all up. His thighs were the next point of Frank's interest, milky and begging to be mapped by Frank's teeth as Gerard moaned and writhed above him.  

He didn't get a chance to do that though because Gerard was pulling him back up and kissing him again. "Your mouth Frankie, your fucking lips. God, I love your lips," Gerard moaned as he rolled them over.  

"You should fuck me," Frank panted, wrapping his legs around Gerard's waist. Gerard cursed and nodded, kissing Frank again and sliding his hands down the backs of Frank's thighs to cup his ass.  

"Stuff?" he breathed, getting up on his knees and then searching through the drawer in the bedside table when Frank gestured to it. He threw down the lube and kept searching, "Condoms?" he asked.  

"Shit," Frank groaned, "Don't have any, didn't buy any since I moved here. Fuck." 

"Should I run out and get some?" Gerard asked, looking sexually frustrated and stressed out.  

"If you move from this bed I will be so mad," Frank replied, taking Gerard's hand, "Are you clean?" he asked.  

"Yeah," Gerard replied, "I got a medical for my visa and my insurance and stuff," he explained, giving his dick a squeeze which made him bite his lip.  

"Me too. I trust you, Gerard. I want to feel you," he begged, fisting his own dick because he was he just needed to be touched somewhere.  

"Okay, yeah Frankie. Jesus Christ your so fucking hot," he moaned, he had to draw Frank like this sometime, all sprawled out, tattoos and sweat and just waiting for him.  

He grabbed the lube and put some on his fingers and pressed one to Frank's pink hole. He ran his finger around, teasing just to hear the beautiful noises Frank made before pressing in up to the first knuckle. He was rewarded by a high pitched sigh from Frank so he pushed it in all the way and thrust a few times.  

"More," Frank asked, so Gerard obliged and pulled out and inserted two, pushing them slowly and gently before going deeper an scissoring them. He couldn't take his eyes from Frank's face, the way he bit his lip, the way his perfect eyebrows would raise just a little when Gerard thrust his fingers in.  

Gerard moved up to three fingers to stretch Frank more, the last thing he wanted was to hurt him. Frank grabbed his wrist after only a few moments though and pulled his fingers out. "I'm ready," he said, opening his eyes and grabbing the lube, putting it all over Gerard's dick and fisting it a few times and making him moan and fall down over Frank with hands either side of his head. "Holy shit, you're so big Gerard, God," Frank groaned, positioning his legs and shoving a pillow under his lower back.  

Gerard positioned himself at Frank's hole, nudging it before pushing through the tight ring of muscle, and slowly, centimetre by centimetre until he was most of the way in. "Are you okay?" Gerard asked through his teeth, Frank felt so good, so tight and hit that Gerard was biting back moans and thrusts.  

"So good, Gee. God, your so big, feels so good with you inside me. C'mon, I know you're holding back," Frank moaned, his hands clutching the sheets by his sides.  

Gerard pushed in until he bottomed out and they both moaned loudly, he slowly built a rhythm, thrusting hard and deep. Gerard changed his angle a few times, searching for the spot that would make Frank loose it, and he knew he had when Frank's back arched, he gasped, and his hands flew to Gerard's hair.  

"There!" Frank gasped, pulling Gerard down to kiss him hungrily and Gerard was happy to obey Frank's commands of harder, faster. The room was a cacophony of sounds, their skin meeting, their moans, the mattress; it was beautiful. It was all so much that they weren't even kissing anymore, just moaning expletives and each other's names into the others mouth.  

"G-Gerard, I'm gonna come," Frank panted, opening his eyes to look at Gerard, "Oh fuck." 

Gerard opened his eyes and looked down at the beautiful man beneath him, "C'mon Frank, wanna see you come, so beautiful," he said, slowing his thrusts to a slow, hard grind over Frank's prostate. "Love you, Frankie," he whispered and then Frank was gone with a long, loud, low moan, convulsing, clenching around Gerard and coming between them without being touched.  

Gerard kept thrusting, seeking his own orgasm as Frank peppered his face with kisses, "Yeah, come on Gerard," he said in a wrecked voice that Gerard found so hot, "I want to feel you come inside me, love you too, so good, yeah, yeah yeah..."  

It faded after that because Gerard was coming so hard that he whited out. Frank thought it was the hottest thing ever, watching Gerard's eyes roll, his back arch and his tantalising neck stretch out, hear the way Gerard moaned his name. He'd never forget that.  

When they could finally breath again Gerard pulled out with a wince, got up and went to the bathroom, returning with a damp washcloth to clean them both up. When he was done he threw it on the ground and lay back down on the sheets beside Frank.  

"Hey," he whispered to the younger man, a grin on his face.  

"That was awesome," Frank grinned back, brushing some of the hair from Gerard's face. 

"So hot," Gerard agreed, getting a cigarette out for the both of them.  

A couple of hours later they were at it again, Gerard had his knees pulled up to his chest and had a pillow under his lower back as Frank ate him out. Gerard was moaning obscenities and his eyes were rolling, although he'd rimmed someone once before he'd never been rimmed himself and holy fucking shit it was amazing. Frank had his face buried in Gerard's ass, his fingers scissoring as his tongue worked deep inside. Gerard could hardly breath at the sensation, it was too much.  

"Fuck. Fuck, Frank, stop," he panted, watching Frank raise his head between his legs.  

"You okay?" Frank asked, his voice was wrecked and the entire lower half of his face was wet. It looked like porn.  

Gerard nodded and gestured for Frank to come back up to him, "Yeah, fucking great, wasn't gonna last. Need you to fuck me now Frank." 

A few minutes later they were rocking together, kissing and moaning and holding each other like it was life or death. It felt like that to them inside, that even in the relatively short time they'd known each other they'd developed something that was so strong that of the other wasn't to be there anymore it would feel like the end of it all.  

They stayed awake craving each other's touch until sunrise. They lay looking out the window and watched the sky go from black to a rainbow of warm colours, reds, pinks, purples, blues and oranges, streaking across the sky like an artists palette over the mountains beyond the city.  

Gerard looked at Frank looking until Frank looked back and pulled Gerard over him. And then they were connected again, rocking slowly, gently, lovingly, into the breaking dawn. It was fitting, Frank thought, because this felt like the dawn of the rest of this life, and he couldn't think of any other way it could've happened.