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Leon’s job didn’t allow a lot of time for self-discovery. After Raccoon City and becoming the government’s newest lapdog — just a docile ragdoll that could be ordered around as they pleased — he knew there was no escape for him. There was no sense of self left within him, his loss of autonomy seeping into every vein in his body, evident in every movement and decision he made.
Most twenty-one year olds, Leon knew, weren’t chained to the commands of the government. Most twenty-one year olds didn’t know what it was like to face death and bioweapons or carry the burden of disappointing every civilian he came across in their dying city. He used to reminisce about what his life could have been had he not gone to the police academy; had he not decided to move to Raccoon City and chose somewhere — anywhere — else. He knew better now, he gave up on hypotheticals a long time ago.
Leon learned that the best way to live with his circumstances was to just survive. Getting through his day with minimal interference from his thoughts proved to be quite difficult, he learned. Especially recently.
It had been coming back to haunt him. That plaguing thought that he worked so hard to keep sufficiently locked away in his heart, to push down and keep secret. At every opportunity, it had been popping up in his head, to remind him that deep down, if he were to be true to his heart and not prioritise logistics, he didn’t feel like a man. More specifically, he wanted to be a woman.
His hair had been getting longer. That was the stupid, small, seemingly insignificant catalyst. He had been busy and it hadn’t grown an absurd amount. Just long enough that strands ran down his neck and past his jawline. He’d caught it in the mirror one night, clumsily brushing his teeth as he simultaneously tried to prepare everything he needed to shave his stubble. His hand mechanically pumping his toothbrush back and forth, up and down, paused as he stared at himself. After that, his next paycheck was spent on ill-matching makeup which had been buried under his bed when he came to the realisation that he was being ridiculous again.
What he wanted was incompatible with what was expected of him. It was as simple as that. Leon didn’t have the means to waste time on indulging in unattainable fantasies and that was fine. He came to terms with the life he was coerced into the minute he entered his STRATCOM training. He had to force himself to, for fear that he otherwise wouldn’t have made it out alive with a different mindset.
The box of makeup burned holes through his bed, Leon hyperaware of its presence every time he crawled under the duvet after a hard day of work. Unable to sleep as he envisioned how much easier life would pass if he were to just give in — to just be happy. So, of course the only viable option was for Leon to move the box from under his bed to the corner of his closet. The irony almost made Leon’s lips quirk into a smile.
Coming home from work, Leon felt unbelievably pent up. Lately, waves containing weeks worth of stress and sexual frustration tended to crash over him the moment he set foot into his apartment, where he knew he was shielded from the perception of other people. Shrugging off his jacket, Leon realised today wasn’t such a case. The usual tension was present, sure, but so was someone else.
Feeling someone’s eyes on him, Leon knew better than to freeze. But before he could pull his gun out of his holster, a familiar voice disarmed him.
“Welcome home,” Ada purred, her voice smooth and sultry. Practiced. As if Leon coming home to her was commonplace.
Ada’s visits weren’t necessarily frequent. They were sporadic with no connection to a specific date or time. After Spain, sometimes Leon would unlock his apartment door and would be greeted by Ada strewn over the couch or Ada helping herself to a glass of wine in his kitchen. Leon had stopped holding his breath in hope every time he arrived back home, but would accept her company without hesitance the moment she did show up.
He had been glad that she hadn’t dropped by these past few weeks. This was how Ada’s sojourns would normally go; they would banter for a while, share a drink, end up tipsily fumbling against one another, clothes would be discarded, round one on the couch, round two in his bed, Ada would stay the night, and she’d be gone in the morning. Sleeping together was probably the lowest form of intimacy they had shared, but it was easy. He ached for it during nights alone, staring at his ceiling.
Ada looked so tempting. She was curled up on the couch, wearing his old police academy alumni sweater and presumably nothing underneath. He assumed she came over right from the aftermath of a mission, which surprisingly wasn’t uncommon. Her perfectly manicured fingers curled around a glass of blood red wine, the shade blending in with her choice of nail polish. Under any other condition, Leon would waste no time in stepping out of his loafers and burying himself between her thighs, huffing in her scent like it was the cure to every burden on his shoulders.
“Ada,” Leon greeted curtly, walking right past her and into the kitchen. His movements were stiff as he pulled out a glass and poured himself a little more whiskey than was considered appropriate for one serving. If Ada was surprised by his harshness, she didn’t show it.
The problem was, admittedly, a little troubling. Leon wouldn’t lie and say he hadn’t been able to get it up, because the reality was that he woke up every morning to a tent in his boxers that he refused to look at or touch. Nothing a cold shower wouldn’t get rid of. His blatant refusal to acknowledge his dick came shortly after he noticed his hair growth. He didn’t let himself linger on the connection between the two, because he already knew the answer and it was one that he hated.
So, unless Ada wanted the most awkward fuck of her life, Leon wasn’t willing to give in to her temptation. He had no qualms about getting her off, but there was no doubt that would get him hard underneath his slacks considering how utterly gone for her he was. She would want to help and he’d have to stumble through an excuse that wouldn’t end up with her pitying him.
His hands trembled around the whiskey glass as he sipped at it. Because, God, did he want. He hadn’t touched himself in weeks and he didn’t want to think about how normally that would result in Ada cooing that he was such a good boy for her. The words made his stomach turn unpleasantly.
Ada, knowing when was and wasn’t appropriate to push his buttons, stayed silent. She stood from the couch, abandoning her glass of wine on a coaster atop of the coffee table, and came up behind Leon. Her fingers graced the bare skin of his bicep softly, her touch weighing no more than a feather. He was so used to her taking, being so kindly cruel, that he didn’t know how to react to pure gentleness.
“Rough day at work?” Ada murmured, leaning forward to press a light kiss to the nape of his neck.
Leon shivered, ducking his head down. He stared down into his whiskey. “You could say that, yeah.”
Ada didn’t seem convinced, but she didn’t prod any further. She only hummed, ghosting her fingers over Leon’s arm in soothing circles. Maybe it should have alarmed him, how easily he was able to forget his troubles with one simple touch. Learning not to question Ada’s effect on him was relatively easy.
Leon finished his whiskey unnervingly quick, the burning in his throat overpowering the impending rise of bile. Because now Ada’s other hand was on his waist, teasing dangerously close to the waistband of his trousers. She knew what she was doing, if her peppering of kisses along his neck was any indication. Leon wanted to hate how she was treating him as though he were made of glass. A fragile porcelain doll worthy of being cradled and cared for.
Nevertheless, Leon was pliant as Ada turned him around so they were face to face. Her palm trailed down his chest, stopping just under his right pec. The way she looked at him, her tender touch, their proximity, all had Leon staring awkwardly off into the distance. His grip on the empty whiskey glass was so tight he inwardly worried that it would shatter. It must have been visible, because Ada’s other hand considerately came up to pry the glass out of his grasp.
“Let me help you relax, gorgeous,” Ada incentivised, her voice low and alluring.
The pet name was new and Leon loathed to admit how much he liked it. Different from handsome. Better, even. His eyes glistened and he inwardly blamed it on the bright light above them.
“Ada…” Leon managed airlessly, sounding choked. “I don’t—”
She didn’t let him look away from her for longer than that. So softly, she cupped his cheek, lifting his head up and smiling when they made eye contact.
“There’s that pretty face,” she mused, running her thumb along his bottom lip. With a little more conviction, she added, “No more hiding from me. Okay?”
Leon didn’t trust himself to speak. He obediently nodded his head, keeping Ada’s gaze no matter how antsy it made him. He knew now was the best time to push her away, stop things before they escalated any further. But she’d called him pretty and suddenly he felt a little dizzy with a familiar heat coiling in his stomach. He was only so strong when it came to her.
“Good,” Ada said, pleased. She squeezed his pec and he couldn’t stop himself from groaning. “Let me take you to bed.”
There wasn’t even enough time for him to protest — if he wanted to, that was — before Ada took his hand in hers and guided him to his bedroom. The power she held over him was only somewhat terrifying, as he had the slightly morbid thought that, in this moment, he would lie down right there on the floor if she asked him to and he would let her do whatever she wanted to him. He stayed silent.
The lightning was dim in the bedroom, his blinds closed even though he’d left them open that morning. Ada had already been in here, then, while she was waiting for him to return home. Snooping around, too, probably, but Leon had no idea what for. His closet door was still slightly ajar from when Ada presumably rummaged through to find the crewneck of his she was now sporting. Though Leon couldn’t help but think this was all… calculated. Ada could have come and gone in here as many times as she’d liked without leaving as much as a single trace, but she chose to leave hints for him, signalling she was in his room and that she wanted him to know.
Ada was crowding him onto the bed, bringing him down against the pillows as she finally connected their lips. Her fingers threaded through his hair deliberately, tugging the longer strands a little and eliciting a quiet moan from low in his throat.
Against his lips, moving to straddle his thighs, Ada asked, “Growing your hair out?”
Leon was helpless to her whims, only settling back against the headboard as she positioned them both however she wanted. He felt embarrassed at her question; just the surface of his deeper secret. “Uhm, yeah. Well, I just — haven’t gotten around to getting it cut.”
Ada regarded his hair. It was a little shaggy, not necessarily well taken care of. It was endearing, though, his floppy bangs covering his eyes. It looked like it would be a hassle to deal with on the field. Twirling her fingers through the strands, she kissed him again.
“I like it,” she said simply, but it was enough. Leon’s breath hitched. “Very pretty.”
He chose not to respond to the compliment, instead just nodding shyly in appreciation. He was unsure how he was meant to be acting right now. Ada had never been so loving whilst they slept together before. He was used to quick, rash movements to make up for lost time and commanding orders that he’d follow without question. Not her benignly undressing him out of his shirt, kissing down along the exposed skin of his chest with every snap of a button coming undone. She slipped him out of the shirt so delicately, contrasting with how carelessly she threw the shirt to the floor. Her eyes never once left his.
Leon gasped, arching into her touch when she casually pinched at one of his nipples. His nipple pebbled under the attention, goosebumps riddling his skin. Moreso, his cock was hard in between his legs, still restricted by his slacks. She revelled in the reaction, only teasing the sensitive skin a few times more before showing a sliver of mercy by sprawling her palm over the muscle entirely. She cupped his pec in her hand, squeezing it lightly.
“Ada,” Leon whined, only the slightest bit impatient.
“So pretty, Leon,” she whispered reverently instead of indulging him further. “Can I talk to you about something, baby?”
Leon’s eyes were half-lidded as he stared at her, his body aching for her as she began to undo his belt buckle. She worked so efficiently and her knee was so close to pressing against his cock, where he needed her, and it left him spinning.
He nodded in response to her question, just about willing to agree to anything she suggested in this state. He felt like he was unravelling so quickly beneath her. She’d barely even touched him and he already felt desperate. Weeks of self-inflicted abstinence would do that to a guy, he supposed.
Ada smiled encouragingly, pulling his belt out of the loops. She set it to the side as she slowly unzipped his pants. She acted agonisingly slow, but Leon knew better than to rush her.
“You’re doing so good,” she praises before continuing, “You know how much I love it when you’re honest with me.”
Memories of pleading words flash through Leon’s mind. Things he’d told her before while begging for her touch or release in the heat of the moment, about how he’d touch himself and pretended it was her or that he secretly loved when she’d scratch down his back so hard it left clawmarks. It only served to make his cock twitch. He nodded jerkily.
“I want you to use your words, Leon,” she told him evenly.
“Sorry,” he rasped. He nodded again. “Yeah. I know.”
Her fingers traced along the waistband of his boxers and Leon was finding it increasingly difficult to think clearly. Ada knew she was playing dirty, just a little bit. She wasn’t above being unfair to get an honest answer out of Leon, because she was expecting some hesitance.
“And it’s been a while since I’ve come to take care of you, hasn’t it?” Ada prompted, almost cooing at him.
Leon whined restlessly underneath her, his hips bucking involuntarily. “Is there a point to this, Ada? Please, please, I’m so—”
“If you would let me finish,” Ada interrupted, voice a little firmer. Leon immediately deflated, blinking his eyes open to look dutifully up at her. “I’m just saying, you’ve been such a good girl for me.”
Leon’s brain went haywire, panic and pleasure battling in every vein of his body. He tensed under her, eyes darting over her face. This wasn’t supposed to happen. He had been hiding it so well, he thought. No one was supposed to find out.
She kissed him before he could say anything. The kiss was slow, lacking the usual fervour that laced every single one of their interactions. It was firm; solidifying. Ada wasn’t disgusted, just curious. Caring, even. And wasn’t that dangerous for the both of them?
When they parted, Leon still stuttered, “H-How did you—?”
“You’re cute,” Ada teased, “thinking you can hide anything from me.”
“Right,” Leon huffed breathlessly, still finding the energy to be sarcastic. It pulled a soft laugh out of Ada. “I suppose you’ve had a little birdie keeping an eye on me.”
“I think you underestimate how well I know you,” Ada corrected, finally resuming her ministrations. She tugs his slacks down his thighs with a little more conviction than she’d been acting with before. “Such a shame you’ve had to carry this alone, thinking you need to hide…”
“Stop,” Leon gasped, so raw and real.
Leon’s hands reached out to grip Ada’s hips, needing something to keep him grounded. It was overwhelming — the mix of fear and relief and desire coursing through him. The vulnerability he displayed around Ada was truly a spectacle and it fell into place so easily. Maybe that was because, more often than that, Ada never gave him a choice. He seldom held any control in their meetings. He didn’t mind it that way.
He.
“Don’t give me that,” Ada admonished lightly, suddenly sounding so composed. Speaking as though her fingers weren’t tracing the outline of Leon’s clothed cock. “You’re so much sweeter when you’re honest with me. C’mon, baby, I know you can do it.”
The encouragement only serves to dust Leon’s cheeks in a deep shade of red.
“Yeah,” Leon said vaguely, voice cracking. “I d-don’t know what it is exactly.”
Ada looked at Leon as the words tumbled nervously past her lips. Leon was so beautiful, and hiding that beauty from the world would be so unfortunate. Ada wanted to see her bloom.
“You don’t have to,” Ada reassured patiently, her fingers trailing down Leon’s side. “Right now, you just need to be my girl.”
Leon whimpered, tears pooling in her eyes. She didn’t have a reason to cry, with how considerate Ada was being. “Yeah,” she whispered. “I can do that.”
She didn’t allow herself to dwell on the possessive. It had been a slip of the tongue, Leon convinced herself, because Ada was always careful to always appear just slightly detached. It was better for them both, because Ada would be gone by the morning, the only memory of her even being in Leon’s apartment in the unfinished wine glass she left behind in the living room.
With that confirmation, Ada teased Leon’s boxers down her legs, both lustful and sympathetic at the sight of Leon’s aching cock. Red and swollen, neglected. Leon shivered at the exposure, the warm air of the room doing nothing to temper her avidity. The weight of acceptance and attentiveness soothed her just barely.
Ada clicked her tongue, one of her hands pressing Leon into the mattress by her hip and the other swiping over the tip of her dick, bringing out a favourable moan from the girl underneath her. It was a shame that Leon stopped sleeping with other people after Spain, depriving anyone but Ada from the sight of her pliant and desperate. A voice that Ada chose to ignore felt satisfied at that knowledge.
“Ada, please,” Leon urged, shyness replaced by shamelessness. “I need you.”
“You poor thing,” Ada uttered compassionately, just a hint of mocking under her tone. She smoothed the precum leaking from Leon’s slit over her thumb and Leon choked on a whimper. “Want me to finger your pussy? Would that make you feel better, baby?”
The sudden switch to such vulgar language had Leon flushing, tempted to turn and bury her head in the pillow beneath her. She only resisted the urge because she knew it was futile anyway, she wouldn’t last a second hiding before Ada was tilting her chin back up with a disapproving look. The feminine terms just furthered her embarrassment, but she couldn’t stop the thrill that went up her spine.
Ada always knew what Leon needed. She was perceptive like that and it made Leon melt.
“Yes,” Leon gasped, nodding vigorously. “Please, fuck, Ada, please. Need to feel you.”
“Eager,” Ada teased lightly, squeezing Leon’s cock before letting go completely.
Leon grew cold at the loss of contact, but she had no time to dwell on it. Ada wasted no time in reaching over to Leon’s bedside table, carefully pulling open the first drawer and reaching for the lube she kept in there. Small things like that — like how much lube had been used since her last visit — were always of importance to Ada. The tube was practically still full, easy to squeeze out into the palm of her hands. It was just a slight glimpse into the life Leon lived day to day, sometimes even an insight into her mood.
Considering the lube hadn’t been touched in months, Leon’s writhing and panting under her made sense. Her body was begging for Ada.
“Relax for me,” Ada instructed, running a soothing hand over the indents of Leon’s hips. She obeyed almost instantly, blue eyes searching Ada in anticipation. “That’s it.”
Ada slicked the expanses of her fingers with the lube, warming it between her hands before finally reaching forward and circling Leon’s hole. The sound that Leon let out was strangled and quiet, but still perfect to Ada. Any verification of pleasure fuelled her to keep going. Knowing it was her making Leon feel good was enough to make her own panties wet, with that knowledge she didn’t need much else.
One slick finger prodded at Leon’s entrance, causing Leon to subconsciously spread her thighs further apart. Ada’s eyes darkened at that, urging her forward to press the digit into Leon. She clenched around Ada’s finger, eyes fluttering shut as she groaned.
“So tight,” Ada commented casually, making Leon burn with humiliation. She needed more.
“Move,” Leon pleaded, her eyes and lips and cock pathetically wet. “Another finger, Ada, please.”
Normally, such a demand would be met with a stern scolding or revoking her touch altogether. But tonight seemed to call for a gentleness they’d never ventured into before. She knew that Leon needed this and Ada would never forgive herself if she passed up the opportunity to fulfil them.
“I’ve got you,” Ada mollified, leaning forward to capture Leon’s lips in a kiss.
Leon chased her, pushing herself up earnestly, her fingers twitching and pulling Ada in by her waist. The distraction easily allowed Ada to add another finger, finally beginning to work Leon open. The blonde moaned against Ada’s lips, her tongue poking for access into the wet of Ada’s mouth in her keenness.
Leon’s hips rocked with the curling of Ada’s fingers, careful for her dick not to brush against Ada’s legs or sweatshirt in fear that she’d come too early. She didn’t want this to be over, selfishly she wished to keep Ada in her bed forever. Instead, she rutted into the air, since Ada’s perfectly free other hand cruelly refused to fill her cock.
“Good girl.” Ada’s voice was low and promising in Leon’s ear, the only sound in the room apart from the occasional wet noises from the lube being fucked into Leon’s pussy.
Leon wet her mouth, her cock jerking, and her eyes went hazy, fathomless. Her breath came out in short swallow gasping attempts at drawing in oxygen, while Ada fucked her harder, doing everything in her power to keep the air out of Leon’s lungs. She practically melted into the sheets, helpless to grind back against the curl of Ada’s fingers.
Any other sound in the bedroom was now drowned out by the loud and lewd noises coming from Leon’s whining voice. She’d always been vocal in bed, but the quick and unrelenting pace of Ada’s fingers only exaggerated it. She slurred, “So good, Ada.”
“Yeah?” Ada asked through a huff of laughter, adding a third finger. “Your cunt is taking my fingers so well. So perfect, Leon, my pretty girl.”
Leon sobbed, her chin wet and unaware if it was from drool or tears. She didn’t really care, either, because Ada was still staring at her like she was something to be worshipped. Something sacred and beautiful. More tears pooled behind her eyes.
“Say it,” Ada ordered, though her voice was kind. Encouraging. “Tell me you’re my pretty girl.”
“M’your pretty girl,” Leon hiccuped, tears flowing down her cheeks as her eyelashes fluttered incessantly. Her voice was thick and watery as she repeated, “I’m your pretty girl, Ada.”
It felt like her bones were TV static, her blood burning hot under her skin. Leon watched unmovingly as Ada’s free hand finally moved, but went to pull her panties to the side instead of wrapping around Leon’s cock. Leon wouldn’t complain, though, always happy to take in the show. How gorgeous Ada looked.
“That’s right, baby,” Ada groaned quietly, rubbing circles over her clit and panting into Leon’s shoulder.
It felt as though Leon had been lying on the bed, legs spread and trembling, for hours. She was delirious with want and having been on the edge of orgasm for so long that it was beginning to hurt, so much so that the actual passage of time was insignificant. Her only train of thought was Ada Ada Ada.
Her angel, Ada Wong, had forcefully dragged Leon out of her denial; away from the thoughts about facing the judgement of others that she’d planted in her own head. Ada dragged Leon out of her denial and straight to Heaven.
“Ada, can I—can I come? Fuck, please, please let me—”
Ada hummed, deep and guttural, her teeth scraping Leon’s shoulder. “Yeah, baby. You’ve been such a good girl.”
Leon was silent for a second, then two, and then she was gone. Every limb in her body tensed up and seized, and she forgot how to breathe. She cried through the release, body wracking at the sheer intensity of it, soft little ‘ah’ sounds escaping past her lips.
Ada came not too long after, just bordering on embarrassingly quick, though Leon held no complaints. She slumped against the sheets, blinking up at Ada lazily, suddenly feeling empty as Ada pulled her fingers out.
“How did you know?” Leon murmured. She didn’t panic anymore when Ada moved to get out of bed. She knew by now that Ada would return, just with some wipes in hand to clean up what she could of the mess they’d made.
Ada quirked an amused eyebrow as she kneeled back down on the bed next to Leon. “Well, the poorly hidden makeup in your closet didn’t do much to kill my suspicions.”
Leon shivered as Ada began to wipe down the come she’d managed to splatter across her stomach.
Continuing before Leon could get a word in, Ada said, “We should go out for dinner sometime. Somewhere fancy. Let me do your makeup for you, help you pick out a nice dress.”
Despite herself, Leon imagined it. The two of them getting ready together. Ada styling Leon’s hair and letting her borrow jewellery costing more than Leon’s outfit altogether. The tickle of Ada’s breath so close to her face as she did Leon’s eyeshadow. How they would sit opposite each other at the restaurant, maybe Leon would have felt comfortable enough to wear heels.
There was no knowing with Ada if that would ever really happen. But after tonight, Leon felt more inclined to believe her. Leon had always trusted her, but it was that trust that continuously left her feeling disappointed.
“I’d like that,” Leon mumbled, eyes closing as Ada laid down beside her. She let herself curl into Ada’s side, only properly relaxing when Ada’s arm slung around her shoulders, pulling her closer.
Only when Leon’s eyes were shut did Ada allow her expression to soften. Her fingers threaded gently through Leon’s hair, scratching lightly at her scalp.
“Me too,” Ada admitted to no one but herself, Leon’s breathing having already evened out in sleep.