Archive of Our Own

"Minseokie can't forget about his ex, huh?" Minhyung muses on stream one day. He's joking, for the most part, but he can't deny that he's a little jealous too. Just a little.

People have been asking ceaselessly whether Keria would renew his contract with T1. He sure hopes that the support will. Somehow, he knows their story is just beginning.

"But if I do well," he continues, "won't Minseok always be by my side?" 

* * * * * *

Hearts racing, fingers flying across their keyboards, they break their way through the top lane inhibitor, the turrets, and finally the nexus. T1 seal the deal against BLG in a close 3-2 and conclude their Worlds run with a back to back trophy.

Minseok throws off his headphones, a wide smile on his face and his throat hurting from the yelling, and turns to one person in his mind. Luckily for him, Minhyung is already there with his arms wide for an embrace. 

Hugging Minhyung truly never gets old. It's warm, comfortable; it feels like coming home. They do it often enough behind the scenes, usually seeking each other out after a long day to unwind. It helps that they're both fairly touchy people, but it's a little different when it's between the two of them, with the way their bodies slot perfectly with one another. It comes as easily as breathing. Eventually, they join the rest of the team in a group hug, and nothing could ever bring Minseok down.

He rides the high through the trophy ceremony, watching as Sanghyeok receives a well deserved FMVP for his finals performance. He poses for the pictures, answers the interview questions, and waits for when the cameras are finally off so they can properly enjoy the win. They end the year with a strong finish, and everything is perfect.

Until it isn’t, because suddenly Wooje is gone, and there’s a hole in the team where their beloved top laner used to be.

“Minseokie, do you have a minute?” A voice calls from outside Minseok’s door with an accompanying tap.

They just finished their respective streams and Minseok is about to wash up before bed. He wonders what Minhyung needs at this hour, but maybe he just wants to cuddle like they’ve done before. He wouldn’t be opposed to that at all, he thinks. When he opens the door, Minhyung looks uncharacteristically tense, which immediately sets off the alarm bells in his mind.

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh... I wanted to take a short walk and was wondering if you'd like to join. Since there's something I want to talk about. If you’re about to sleep though, it’s okay! We can do this another time!” Minhyung stutters, eager to have some excuse to run from the conversation he just started.

Okay, now Minseok’s actually worried. He racks his head trying to figure out what’s so serious that the most confident person he knows is acting this way. Minhyung already re-signed, so it can’t be that. There aren't any impending deadlines that he knows of, so nothing work related either. Maybe he accidentally ate the last bag of chips that he knows is Minseok’s favorite.

“No, it’s fine. Let’s go.” Minseok all but drags the other man out before he has a chance to change his mind.

They grab the jackets and scarves they haphazardly tossed on the table earlier and step into the winter cold. Minseok observes his partner, but it's clear he isn't ready to say anything yet. So they walk in a comfortable silence, close enough that their shoulders bump every few paces. He's hit with a strong temptation to intertwine their fingers together and thinks about how nice it is to spend time with Minhyung like this. Maybe this is all he really needs, a quiet evening under the stars with the person he cares about.

"The weather's been cold lately," Minhyung says as they slowly walk along the path.

Minseok giggles, bumping into his shoulder. "As far as conversation starters go, that one's pretty bad."

"I'm not sure what you mean by that." Minhyung, with all his endless charisma on the cameras, pouts like a kid half his age. He bumps Minseok's shoulders back, a soft smile working its way onto his face. But there's an uneasiness under it, just slightly. 

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" Minseok prods gently.

Minhyung's smile fades a little. "I know. I've just had some things on my mind recently." 

"Yeah?"

“Do you ever wonder where we’ll be, a few years from now?” Minhyung asks, looking up at the sky.

Minseok frowns a little, making a confused sound. “Sometimes? But I’ve always seen myself doing this, playing professionally. At least for a while. Why? Don't tell me you’re having second thoughts.” He’s not sure he can handle it, if Minhyung leaves him.

The other man shakes his head quickly, to Minseok's relief. “No, it’s not that. But with the recent stuff happening, it’s got me thinking about how long any of this actually lasts. I guess I just kinda thought our team would stay together.”

Sometimes, Minseok forgets that Minhyung’s only ever been with T1. He himself is no stranger to changing rosters, having left one family back in DRX.

“I know,” Minseok responds, sighing. “It felt different with the five of us, somehow. But things like this, roster changes, are normal in our line of work.”

“You’re right, I was just naive, I guess. It’s the change that makes me nervous. But...” Minhyung pauses to look at Minseok. His voice has a subtle tremble and he looks uncertain. “We’ll stay the same, right?” 

There's an almost unsettling feeling crawling up Minseok's throat. “Yeah. We will.”

“You know, Minseok..." Minhyung trails off, grabbing the support’s hand and stopping.

Minseok doesn't say anything, only looking back at him with a conflicted expression, because he knows what's coming, and he desperately hopes he's wrong.  

"I'm in love with you.”

He freezes. 

Oblivious to Minseok’s inner turmoil, Minhyung continues earnestly, "I’ve been in love with you since the day we met, and I think you know that. I want it to be you, from now until forever, but only if you want it too."

There it is, plain and simple. It's been obvious that, at some point, they would have to deal with whatever it is that’s happening between them. All of the flirty jokes that weren’t actually jokes, the lingering touches that go beyond what either would do for a friend, the constant charged tension between the two. None of this particularly comes as a surprise. 

Because, it's the way Minseok catches Minhyung looking at him like he's the most precious thing he's ever set his eyes on. How Minhyung always knows when he's had a rough day and is there, with open arms, ready to hold him as they fall asleep. When Minhyung goes out of his way to buy a silly little trinket that reminded him of Minseok, even when it was a stretch most of the time, because he wanted to show that he cared. It's as clear as day to anyone who has eyes that Minhyung is in love with him. That he’s in love with Minhyung.

But at the end of it all, despite every fact laid out in the open, it's still not enough.

"Minhyung, I..."

He can't bear to make eye contact with the other man when he knows he's about to break his heart. He fiddles with his jacket zipper with his free hand, trying to figure out how he's going to respond and somehow not blow up their entire relationship.

Minhyung sees his body language and understands. A blessing and a curse really, that they could always read each other so well without needing to say anything. On the rift it's helpful, but off of it, it makes Minseok feel like he's a butterfly pinned to a board, forced to bare every part of himself.

"It's just, not a good idea. There's too much going on, with us having to adjust since Wooje is gone, and I don't want to change the team dynamic any more than it already has. I hope you understand," Minseok says quietly. It's a convenient excuse, not entirely untrue.

"But it doesn't have to change. We can get through it, together. I'm just asking you to think about it," Minhyung pleads. 

"No, Minhyung. I don't... I don't feel the same way," he lies through his teeth. He doesn't want to look at the way the other's face crumples. 

It kills Minseok, to lie like this when he's filled with so much love for Minhyung that he doesn't even know what to do with it. But even if he allows himself to entertain the idea of them being together, it's immediately followed by thoughts of the inevitable downfall. The sting of failure burns Minseok from every mistake he's ever made in the past, and he's determined to not add more variables like his feelings for his teammate. He's well aware of what the media thinks of the two of them together. Some already suspect an intimate relationship, and the thought of being under public scrutiny like that makes his skin crawl. They have too many eyes on them. Too much at stake. Not to mention, if they ever ended on bad terms for whatever reason, the team would fall apart. There's no universe where it would end well.

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't what you wanted to hear." 

It isn't, but there's nothing Minhyung can do. When he was hyping himself up just a few minutes prior, he told himself that this could easily go either way, and he had to be okay with the outcome. Yet a small, deluded part of himself was convinced that what they shared was mutual. It couldn't be just friends, it had to be something more. But what Minseok said leaves no room for interpretation. There's nothing in between the lines. He doesn't want to be together, at least not in that way.

The silence drags on between them, with neither party knowing what to say, until Minhyung breaks the silence with a sigh and a smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. "It's okay. I understand, I just had to say something. Even with what I said, I don't expect anything more of you. We can just pretend this never happened, if you'd like." Pretend like he didn't just offer his heart on a silver platter and gotten his hopes crushed. "Friends?"

"Of course," Minseok agrees faintly, looking at the ground. "I'm gonna head back first. But I'll see you tomorrow?"

Without waiting for an answer, he pulls away and briskly walks back towards their dorms. When he arrives, he quickly shuts himself in his room and flops down on his bed with a conflicted sigh.

He hates himself, hates that he doesn't know how to... do what exactly? Offer his love as unabashedly as Minhyung? Remain confident in his feelings even with everything standing in their way? The other man wears his heart on his sleeve, never slow to express how much Minseok means to him, and expects nothing in return. Minseok doesn't deserve him.

He gradually falls asleep with these thoughts swirling around in his head, thinking about the way his hand felt in Minhyung's and wishing things were different. 

* * * * * * 

"This is final. We've already made the decision." 

"But I don't need time to 'regain my form,' I need to get out there and play with the rest of the team!" Minhyung protests. He feels his world slipping through his fingertips, and there's not a single thing he can do about it. 

"You know as well as we do that scrims haven't been going your way. We discussed it internally and decided that it's time to try something new."

Minhyung doesn't like the way that sounds, like he's being replaced permanently. He's a two time world champion, hasn't he done enough to prove himself? It's not like he thinks he has no weaknesses, he's still humble, but to warrant a complete bench? It's out of the question for him. The discontent must be reflected clearly in his expression because the coach sighs.

"Don't be so negative. You'll have your opportunity, and it'll be good for the team. Take it easy."

And that's that. 

Later, Minhyung finds his support sitting by the dinner tables. He hesitates before approaching, as things between them have already been strained lately, but he has to know.

"Did you know about this?"

Minseok doesn't need to ask to know what this is about. Without looking at him, he responds quietly, "Not before you did."

"And you didn't tell them this was a stupid decision? I can't get better like they want me to if they won't even let me play!" Minhyung exclaims, trying to keep his tone level.

"It's already done, Minhyung," Minseok sighs. "I don't like it either, but the coaches have their minds set to this. It's not personal. They just feel like the rookie has shown promise lately and want to try him out."

Minhyung looks defeated. If not even his duo will go against it, what can he do?

"Is playing with me that bad?" he asks, voice breaking.

"No, of course not!" the support quickly says, louder than he intends. The workers in the room glance over and he flushes. "I'm sorry. I tried to reason with them."

Minhyung doesn't say anything, just turns and leaves, looking every bit as crestfallen as he did when he came in. Minseok wants to call out to his partner, reassure him that he's the best ADC in the world and that there's no one else he'd rather play with. But he holds his tongue, only watching as his partner slips away.

* * * * * *

It's in the middle of the night, and Minseok has been tossing and turning for the last two hours. Must be all that caffeine he had earlier. In times like this, the best thing is probably to try to go back to sleep. But for people like him, and the other completely sane people in the building, it's prime time for some solo queue. Minseok clicks on the client and surveys his friends list out of curiosity. As expected, most people are offline, save for some equally unhinged people grinding ladder. Namely, he notices, a T1 Gumayusi is in the middle of a ranked game, playing Kai'sa.

Normally, Minseok wouldn't have thought too much of it. After all, when they don't have important matches coming up, their sleep schedule as pro gamers can be fairly poor. But he's been noticing a trend lately, ever since the benching announcement. More often than not, when he's getting a glass of water after having woken up at 3 A.M., he sees the light still on from under Minhyung's door. Sometimes, even when he wakes up particularly early in the mornings.

A simple tab opened to his stream confirms his suspicions. Minhyung's been at this for hours, definitely longer than is healthy at this point. Then, Minseok checks his match history, and the page is filled with match after match of the same purple haired champion. It doesn't take a genius to know what this is about. It's why he's been getting criticized by the coaches and viewers alike. The reason he's being benched, because of his perceived limited champion pool. This must be his way of making up for all the lost time since the coaches won't even allow him to participate in scrims.

It's so deeply unfair, to shove Minhyung aside like this when all he's ever done is bleed for them. Minseok wishes he could go over and tell Minhyung that he doesn't need to be doing this, that he's already amazing at what he does and to not push himself too hard. But things are still weird between them, has been since Minhyung confessed and had gotten shut down. 

It's not Minhyung's fault, if anything, he's been trying to act like things are normal. Minseok is the one who keeps dodging those attempts. He just doesn't really know how to talk to Minhyung anymore without that conversation looming in the background. So the next morning, he goes to Sanghyeok, and asks him to look out for Minhyung a little more in his place.

* * * * * *

It's been something of a rough year for T1, as far as tournaments go. They barely qualify for Worlds as the fourth seed, having to start with play-ins. Minseok would be lying if he said he isn't a little nervous, but he knows the team will all show their best when they're on stage.

Matches start off more shaky than they should be. But as the tournament goes on, they get better. More cohesive. They manage to convince Hyunjoon to use Mundo for the first time, getting them to semifinals, sparking numerous jokes everywhere. Minhyung drafts Kai'sa multiple times, a sore point for him earlier this year, but carries those games. Before Minseok knows it, they've made it to finals.

The first game in finals goes well, then takes a dive. But all throughout, even being down 1-2, the mood is positive. After their devastating loss in 2022 followed by two Worlds titles, Minseok considers their mental fortitude to be among the strongest. They play the best like this, he thinks, when they’re having fun even while being focused. In the final game, their teamwork is on point, with Minhyung landing multiple devastating ultimates. It's not an easy series, far from it, but finally, the three-peat is theirs. 

Like they've done in years past, Minseok turns to his right, and Minhyung is there, looking back at him. They haven't so much as touched each other beyond accidental brushes of their hands in months now. But in this moment, he's too ecstatic to think too hard about it. He steps forward and reaches towards the taller man automatically. Their embrace isn't much, merely a brief lopsided squeeze before they part; nothing like the way they used to hold each other. He doesn't realize until now how much he misses it.

It still feels a little surreal, even after they've all taken their pictures (he definitely noticed Minhyung's hand lingering on his when handing him the trophy). They've achieved what no one else has been able to do. Even better, he gets to watch his partner win FMVP after the tumultuous year he's had. Minseok can see how proud he is in the way he holds himself, and he's happy for him. Minhyung has undeniably proven himself in the face of doubters everywhere. 

During the post-Worlds press conference, they are unsurprisingly asked a question about each other. Minseok blushes a little when he gets praised, though Minhyung has always been quick to lift him up. 

"It's a shame though, that we missed the chance to win more trophies together," Minhyung concludes after he's finished talking. He looks at Minseok a little pensively for some reason, then signals for him to begin. Minseok goes through the standard PR script, complimenting his duo and saying how he hopes they keep achieving more in the future.

Later, Minseok reads an article on the press conference and his eye catches something at the end, something neither he nor Minhyung had said but the reporter added.

They are a duo made for each other.

* * * * * *

Minseok is lying down, scrolling on his phone over a week after their three-peat in Worlds when the news comes out. He's been trying to relax lately, having been tirelessly prepping for months now, with a break finally in sight with this off season. When he sees the post, his chest drops and he briefly forgets how to breathe.

"Thank you, Gumayusi," the post reads. Minseok's eyes don't make it past that line. There's an accompanying video, but he doesn't watch that either. He just reads those three words over and over again, spiraling by the second. He didn't know. This wasn't supposed to happen. How could Minhyung not say anything? Maybe he doesn't owe it to anyone else, but he owes it to Minseok. This entire year, Minseok has been taking these moments for granted, not knowing that it would be the last time. How much time has he wasted because of this artificial distance he put between them?

Head spinning and hands trembling, he gets up and swiftly leaves the building with only one destination in mind.

Half an hour later, he finds himself standing outside Minhyung's door, waiting for the man to appear. When he does, Minseok's heart briefly stutters. Even in the few days they haven't seen each other, even in light of this news, he is still undeniably in love with him with every fiber of his being.

For a few seconds, neither of them says anything.

"I'm sorry you had to find out like this-" Minhyung starts, and suddenly Minseok feels his emotions flaring up again. 

"Don't give me that. If you were sorry you would have said something earlier. You wouldn't have let me find out through social media. Does our years of being partners mean anything to you? How could you be so cold?" Minseok laughs bitterly. He's clearly angry, but his voice wavers.

"It's not like that, Minseokie," Minhyung sighs. He already sounds defeated. "It's something I've been thinking about for a while. I just didn't want to tell anyone yet because I didn't want you guys to have this hanging over your heads when we were at Worlds."

"Why? I could have helped. We could have talked about it!" Minseok yells. 

"In case you've forgotten, you haven't been the most welcoming towards me either. All year, I've tried to keep things normal between us. But ever since I told you I loved you, you've been holding me at arms length! What was I supposed to do?" Minhyung snaps, his frustration rising. 

It hurts, because he's right and they both know it. Minseok has been distancing himself. He didn't quite know how to approach the thin line that was their relationship, didn't know how to properly interact with him anymore. The guilt eats at him every moment. But fire still runs in his veins, and he's afraid to slow down, because if he does he'll have to deal with the wave of grief threatening to crash into him.

"Don't turn this back on me. You KNEW there was no way we could have worked out. Not with our careers, not with the public eye on us." Minseok regrets the words the moment they slip out, because Minhyung looks like he's been struck. At the same time, he's angry and a small part of him wants to hurt Minhyung like he's hurting right now.

"And you say I'm cold. I believed in us, Minseok. I knew it would be hard, that there would be opposition every step of the way. But I didn’t care, I didn’t care about any of that stuff! All I cared about was you,” Minhyung shouts, voice trembling. He’s not angry at Minseok, he never really could be. But he’s so incredibly frustrated with the way things turned out that he can’t watch his tone or words as carefully as he would prefer. “Do you know how alone I felt when we would have games, and I’d have to sit on the sidelines with the coaches trying to soak in the only time I was allowed to watch you guys play seriously? Having to see that many people say hateful things to me, wishing me dead, harassing my family, when no one in management ever bothered to do anything about it? And through it all, you would barely even look at me when we were alone.”

The outburst leaves Minhyung drained. He had planned a more level-headed speech ahead of time in anticipation of this exact conversation, but they've already long gone off course. 

"I didn't tell you, because I knew that if I had before the deed was done, I would allow you to convince me to stay," he admits finally. "I would do anything you asked of me."

Hearing this, all of the steam driving Minseok's anger seeps out from him. His chest is tight and his vision blurs from the sudden wetness running down his face, and he makes a futile attempt to cover it with his sleeves.

"I thought we had more time," he whispers, looking at the ground. "You once said that you would become the best ADC in the world so I would stay with you. But now that you've succeeded, you're leaving first."

"Me too. But you said it yourself, rosters change all the time. I know what I need to do is to leave, as hard as it is." Minhyung wipes Minseok's tears with his fingers, guiding them both to sit down.

"I'm sorry, Minhyung. When you confessed last year, I-"

Minhyung shakes his head. "Don't be. It's not your fault, and it's not the reason I'm leaving."

"But, if I hadn't rejected the idea so much, maybe we wouldn't be here," Minseok rambles, sniffling. "If I was there for you, if I had said something when you were going through everything alone, you would have stayed."

"Maybe we would be different, but those people harassing me would still exist. Our coaches would still see my same weaknesses and bench me. What happened is in the past."

"So add a clause in the contract! Say they can't just bench you anymore for no reason. Make management take legal action against the people attacking you. Anything." Minseok knows he's just grasping at straws.

These are all things Minhyung had considered already. "I've talked back and forth with my agents and management. There just isn't a middle ground that I'm happy with. I've tried. I just don't see a future for me here, not anymore." 

"But what about me? Don't you see a future with me?" Minseok feels selfish saying it like this, knows he is from the bottom of his heart. And yet.

Minhyung doesn't answer immediately, choosing to look down at his hands instead. The implication hangs heavy in the air, it's clearly not just about the game anymore. He doesn't let himself acknowledge it, because if he does, he'll lose all of his resolve.

He loved T1, he truly did. But when it mattered most, his unwavering loyalty wasn't reciprocated. Minhyung isn't leaving because of the people harassing him, but because he knows now where he truly stands in the organization's eyes. And it's time for him to move on. "I've given this a lot of thought, Minseokie. It's not for any singular reason. I've put so much of myself into T1, but I'm not getting the same thing back. I need to choose myself, now."

Minseok lets these words sink in. He knows what the right thing to do is, but there's a small, ugly part of him wishing that it didn't have to be like this.

"I know management has already picked out a few options for the next ADC," Minhyung continues, gently squeezing his partner's hand. "They'll probably let you know tomorrow now that the news is out. You should consider it carefully, because your opinion here matters more than anyone."

"I don't want anyone else. I want you. We're the best bot lane duo in history, the Unkillable Demon Prince and the Genius Monster. Who else can match up to this, to us?" Minseok cries.

"You'll find a way. You're the best support in the world. I know whoever you choose will be amazing, they'd have to be to keep up with you." Despite everything, Minhyung smiles. He sincerely believes in these words, and he knows his partner is destined for great things with or without him.

"It's not the same!"

"You're right," Minhyung agrees quietly. "But is that so bad?"

Minseok closes his eyes and, he can't imagine being Keria without Gumayusi as his ADC. Can't imagine Gumayusi without Keria as his support. There truly will never be another pair like them. But selfishness aside, all he's ever wanted is for Minhyung to be happy, even if it means letting him go. When he came here, he was upset, yes, but he knew that Minhyung would have his reasons. He wasn't really expecting to be able to change anything, nor did he want to, if this is what Minhyung truly wants. 

He closes the distance between them on the couch, and without a word Minhyung wraps his arms around him, a reflex long ingrained within him.

"I'll be able to predict your every move, you know," Minseok mumbles, head resting on the taller man's shoulder. "Your play style, your preferred champions and counters, whichever bush you're hiding in at the start."

Of course he will. They know each other like the backs of their hands. 

Minhyung chuckles and presses a kiss into his hair. "Me too. No one knows you better than me, after all."

* * * * * *

HLE welcomes their new bot lane some time later, and Minseok hollowly stares at the announcement, thinking about what it will be like when they meet again on opposite sides of the rift. 

* * * * * *

Weeks pass, and Minseok's days are too packed to dwell on much of anything. Just how he likes it, because if he stops he'll have to think, and thinking too hard has never been good to him. 

They were all instructed behind the scenes to not mention Gumayusi when it wasn't necessary. Management didn't have to tell him twice. It hurt to think about him, let alone speak his name on stream in front of thousands. When Minseok booted up his stream for the first time after Worlds to review their matches, he made no mention of the looming elephant in the room. He glossed over the good plays made by their ADC, and if he had to, only addressed him by the character's name. Luckily, most of the viewers were respectful enough to not bring it up.

Neither he nor Minhyung have said anything to each other since that night. It's too raw. Too soon. He's not sure when he'll be able to again, but with time, he's sure the scars will heal and the feelings will fade. 

One day, Minseok spots a stream notification on Twitter, definitely not from an update account he follows: HLE Gumayusi just went live. In a moment of weakness or morbid curiosity or maybe both, he opens the stream in an incognito tab.

He's immediately greeted with Minhyung's face in the bottom right corner. The man is talking about some food he had recently while waiting for his solo queue to pop, and Minseok is struck with just how normal this stream is. It's not like Minhyung's mannerisms have changed at all, or the way he runs his streams. Except behind him, the room is different. The logo isn't the same on his shirt. The familiar Red Bull fridge is gone from the background. Everything's different, but also not. He's pulled from his thoughts when Minhyung laughs at a chat donation he reads, and god, Minseok misses that sound, misses when it was directed to him. 

The door behind Minseok suddenly opens, and he hurriedly goes to close the tab. 

"Hey, I just wanted to check- is that Minhyung?" Sanghyeok squints. 

"No!" Minseok sputters. "Well, yes, but it's not what you think!"

"And what do I think?" There's an underlying tone of amusement in Sanghyeok's voice. 

"Hyung, stop teasing me! I was just bored and saw a random post online. I don't make it a point to keep track of the comings and goings of Gumayusi, you know," the support pouts. That's a lie and they both know it. 

"I'm sure you don't," Sanghyeok agrees placatingly. He studies Minseok, and without a word, takes a seat next to him. 

"I know we never really talked about what happened with Minhyung," Sanghyeok says, the teasing tone replaced with something more serious. "But I can tell you have some unresolved issues, and I want you to know that you can talk to me."

Minseok doesn't even know where to begin. He trusts Sanghyeok, of course. But the topic of his feelings is kinda messy to discuss with others, especially since he can barely make sense of them sometimes. Though, it might help to confide in someone who's older and wiser than him and receive some advice.

"I hate the way things turned out. I feel so guilty about how the last year went," Minseok admits. "How long Minhyung was suffering alone. I didn't do enough back then, because I kept pushing him away even when he needed it the most."

The mid laner nods. "It's understandable, I feel that way sometimes too. As the oldest both in age and years with the team, I've always been the leader, someone that you guys should be able to lean on if things are ever hard. I should have done more to fight for him, reminded him of his irreplaceable spot in the team."

"I just keep wondering if I hadn't been so distant, if he would have stayed."

"Over the years, Minseok, I've seen teammates come and go. It's easy to fall into the trap of wondering what you could have done different, of shouldering the blame. But the reality is that it's not your fault. Sometimes things just aren't meant to be. Paths will diverge one day, and we can either wallow in it, or realize that it's inevitable and steel ourselves. Minhyung knew what was best for him, and took the steps. For that, we cannot blame him, nor can we take the blame either."

He's right, of course. He always is. But there's a key fact missing.

"He told me he was in love with me," Minseok blurts.

Sanghyeok doesn't look surprised at all.

"He confessed last year, after Worlds, and I... let him down. Said that I didn't feel the same."

"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but you do, don't you?" The older man pauses and sees Minseok nod. "Then why say otherwise, if you both feel the same way?"

"I don't know!" Minseok cries, frustrated with himself. "There was too much going on and I didn't know how to handle it. I was afraid of what the public would say, of having every bit of our relationship dissected. Of how, when I would inevitably mess something up, you and the rest of the team would have to suffer for it. And look what happened anyways."

"I'll say again, it isn't your fault. You haven't ruined anything," Sanghyeok emphasizes gently. "There's always going to be people who disagree with your choices. But they aren't the people who matter. You're allowed to do things for yourself too."

Minseok lets himself process these words. Could he really be allowed to pursue this, after what he did to Minhyung? Another wave of guilt washes over him.  

Sanghyeok sees his expression and pats his arm. "I think that when you're ready, you guys need to talk it out again. You need to be honest with him, and yourself, this time. Something tells me Minhyung's feelings won't have changed, but you'll never know until you talk."

Minseok sighs. "It doesn't matter though, we're on different teams now. It's too late."

Sanghyeok chuckles lightly. "There will always be reasons to not do something. But it's up to you to work past them anyways. Take it from me, it's not as hard as you'd think to be with someone on a different team." 

"Take it from you...?" Minseok raises an eyebrow. Upon realizing what he just said, Sanghyeok's eyes widen a fraction. 

"What does that mean, Sanghyeok? Is there something we need to know? LEE FAKER SANGHYEOK, GET BACK HERE!"

Minseok hasn't allowed himself to click on any other streams since that moment of weakness a week ago, though the conversation after keeps replaying in his mind. Unfortunately, Sanghyeok remained tight lipped about his little slip up and just feigned ignorance when Minseok tried to wheedle it out of him. And Minseok would consider himself an expert in wheedling information out of people. Just not Sanghyeok, though. But that's a problem for another time, because right now, he's finding it incredibly tempting to click on another one of Minhyung's streams. 

Eventually he caves and opens the link, fighting to keep the smile off his face that automatically comes wherever the other man is concerned. Minhyung is, as always, yapping about something while waiting for his queue. Before Minseok can stop himself, he launches the client and sends him a message.

Keria#4111: Duo?

He watches the stream as Minhyung's expression changes. He's visibly shocked, but it quickly morphs into a wide grin, and his voice grows more excited. Minhyung quickly cancels his ongoing queue and invites Minseok to the party. No fanfare, nothing said verbally to indicate how happy Minhyung is because of the message. 

Minseok doesn't ask to call on Discord, and Minhyung doesn't offer. They barely even type in game, save for the occasional shotcall or praise when one of them makes a good play. Time flies, and before Minseok knows it, it's evening. When they're done, they type a simple GG to each other and log off. There's objectively nothing special about this, since people from different teams play together all the time, but it makes Minseok feel warm.

It happens again a few days later. Same deal, very little words exchanged. But at the end, Minseok sends a chat donation: "You played well today."

"You played pretty well yourself, Minseokie," Minhyung says, chuckling. The chat explodes with excitement.

Without even realizing, they've settled into a rhythm. When they're both online and not playing with other people, they'll duo. Other times, they send each other chat donations during streams. There isn't much talking happening, but it's a comfortable routine. It's very reminiscent of old times, before Minseok joined T1 and they got to play together on the stage. They're still not quite close like they were before, but it's progress.

* * * * * *

The off season has officially ended, which means it's time for the LCK Cup, the first tournament of the year. Also, the first time Minseok will meet Minhyung on the stage. He checks the matchups and they're not due to fight HLE yet, luckily. It'll give him time to prepare and observe their matches. They may be former lane partners, but both have a competitive streak and a hunger for wins.

It's not until late in the playoffs that they finally face each other. It's about as weird as he expects to see Minhyung not next to him, but across the stage. There's still a lingering sadness, but Minseok shoves it down; he needs to focus. Until Minhyung makes eye contact and smiles a little, and his brain short circuits. Minseok stares, dumbfounded, probably looking like an fish the way his mouth hangs open slightly. Curse this stupidly handsome man and his stupidly handsome smile, trying to throw him off right before an important match. He shakes his head to rid himself of any distracting thoughts and frowns a little. As if reading his mind, Minhyung chuckles and turns back towards his monitor. 

The match format is best of five, so when HLE take the first game, Minseok and the rest of the team aren't worried. They've been faced with worse odds before and come out victorious. T1 win the next match then the one after, so it's now match point for them. But, three top ganks into a poor Baron teamfight happen, and it turns into a game five. A tale as old as time for them, seeing how most important matches always end up like this. 

After 47 minutes, Minseok watches helplessly from the death screen as their nexus explodes. It was a close game, having gone on long enough that one bad death meant the game ending. He's not happy that they lost, of course, but he knows they'll bounce back. It was well played from both sides and he's sure that next time they fight it'll be different. The team gets up to do the customary handshake at the end of each match. But when he gets to Minhyung, they both stop for a moment. Without warning, the ADC goes in for a hug. 

Minseok's senses are suddenly engulfed in Minhyung. He melts into it, clinging tightly to him like he's drowning. He's dimly aware of the audience and casters cheering, of the cameras circling to capture the moment, but all of that is background noise. In Minhyung's embrace, nothing else matters.

At some point they realize that the hug has probably gone on longer than is socially acceptable, and reluctantly release each other, a matching smile on both of their faces. Minseok feels different this time. Where there used to be a subtle panic and hesitance when they'd interact with each other in public last year, it's now a warm comfort blooming in his chest. They part ways to go back to their teams, Minseok glaring daggers at smug expressions from his team.

Later, he scrolls social media as usual. There's pictures of them hugging from every angle all over his feed. It does make him a little flustered to have such an intimate moment broadcasted like that, but he finds that he isn't as embarrassed as he would have been in the past. He will deny to his last breath saving any of the said images though. 

On a whim, Minseok opens his text messaging app and searches for Minhyung's chat. It's been a while since they last said anything to each other on there.

Ryu Minseok: hi

He feels a little lame to be sending a two letter message after everything that's happened, but one long minute after, the three dots indicating that the other party is typing appear on the screen.

Lee Minhyung: hey. 

Lee Minhyung: i can't go two minutes without seeing our picture online or Wooje teasing me 😾

Minseok laughs a little. He was about to say the same thing.

Ryu Minseok: ikr. Sanghyeok hyung keeps looking at me and smirking 🙄🙄 awfully smug for someone in a secret relationship of his own

Lee Minhyung: ? what. 

Ryu Minseok: u heard me.

Lee Minhyung: spill?

So he does, and their conversation flows easily from there. Minseok had built up this hurdle in his mind when it came to talking to Minhyung like this again, but it's refreshingly simple. Eventually, when there's a lull in their conversation, Minseok takes a leap. 

Ryu Minseok: i was kinda thinking...

Ryu Minseok: do u wanna do something one of these days?

Lee Minhyung: of course!

On the other side, Minhyung cringes a little at how excited he sounds. He's supposed to be nonchalant.

Ryu Minseok: dinner tmr? is 5pm ok

Lee Minhyung: works for me, should i pick u up at hq? u know, since u can't drive. :)

Minseok rolls his eyes. The man is definitely making fun of him.

Ryu Minseok: just for that ur paying for dinner 😃

Ryu Minseok: but it's a date :3

Those words taunt Minhyung for the rest of that night and the next day. A date? A date? Minseok probably doesn't mean it like that, he was pretty clear a year ago that he wasn't interested. Minhyung tries not to dwell on it. Regardless of whatever it means, he's happy to be able to reconnect again as friends.

Minhyung parks his car outside the T1 headquarters and sends a text to Minseok saying that he's here. Before long, a short figure bundled in a thick coat comes running out. He settles into the car, face flushed and hair wild. Out of reflex, Minhyung reaches over to smooth Minseok's hair.

"You look out of breath," he remarks.

Minseok breathes heavily. "Sorry about that, practice finished a little late and I had to rush to prepare."

"Everything okay?"

"Just a few draft disagreements, you know how it is."

Minhyung laughs under his breath, he knows how heated it can get sometimes when they're VOD reviewing. "Yeah, everyone's pretty stubborn."

"Hm..." Minseok's brow furrows. "This is kinda different, but did you want to grab some takeout at the chicken place and head to your apartment? I'm kinda in the mood for a quiet night in." 

"Sounds good, I've been craving it lately."

"You're always craving fried chicken, don't even lie," Minseok replies with a knowing grin. The other man huffs good naturedly.

"Sure, but you enabled me when you would order it every week." 

The banter continues as they drive to the restaurant and pick up the food, taking it back to Minhyung's apartment. As they eat, they casually chat about their daily lives. Minseok tells him about how he's been terrorizing his teammates with support Twitch, and Minhyung talks about how he's been acclimating with a (mostly) new team. Minseok, surprisingly, doesn't feel the same pang of guilt that he had grown accustomed to when he would think about Minhyung leaving T1. Instead, he just observes how much lighter Minhyung's demeanor seems compared to the last time they talked like this. It's a nice change.

Eventually, there's a comfortable silence settling in between them. Minseok peers over and sees Minhyung already looking at him, the way he always is. 

"Why did you message me last night?" Minhyung tilts his head. Straightforward as always. It's not accusatory or hostile in any way. Just genuine curiosity, with a glimmer of hope underneath. 

"I just..." Minseok falters. Truth be told, he doesn't really know himself. "I just missed you."

His heart skips a beat at the blinding smile he gets in return. "I missed you too, Minseokie."

MInseok ends up sleeping over, the two of them having stayed up too late talking and deciding it's not worth the hassle to call a taxi. Stubborn as he can be, Minhyung is even more so, insisting that the guest take the bed while host sleeps on the couch. So Minseok folds, curling up in the puffy comforters and drifting off.

Though last night was a good step, there's still unfinished business that needs to be addressed; they were both clearly tiptoeing around the subject of their relationship. Minseok also knows, that he has to be the one to bring it up this time.

When he enters the kitchen, he's greeted with the smell of brewing coffee and the man he loves.

"Morning. Sleep well?" Minhyung pours another cup of coffee and gestures at the table. "There's also fruits and bread if you're in the mood for it."

He did sleep well, in fact. It's quite comforting, to go to sleep knowing that the next morning, Minhyung will still be there. Not that he's going to say that to his face. "Yeah, it was nice. Thanks for the food."

They eat in relative silence, enjoying each other's presence in the quiet morning haze. It's only when they're cleaning up that Minseok gathers up his courage. "Hey Minhyung?"

The other man makes a humming sound while he washes his hands.

"We need to talk about this. Us." It comes out more ominous than he intends, but he hopes that it doesn't sound like something bad is coming.

Minhyung looks up from the sink with his eyebrows raised. He slowly makes his way to the couch where Minseok is and sits down, keeping a respectable distance in between them. "All right, what's on your mind?"

"I never properly apologized for before," Minseok raises a hand when he sees Minhyung about to protest. "I know you said it's fine, but it's not. I'm not apologizing for just how I reacted that night a year ago. But for everything else that came after. For being an asshole and pushing you away when you needed me. For not telling you enough how important you are to the team. For letting you think that..." 

He falls silent for a moment, contemplating his next words. "For letting you think that I don't love you," Minseok finishes quietly, averting his gaze. 

Minhyung's heart is beating faster than it's ever done on the stage. He's not sure what to think right now. This is all he's ever wanted to hear, isn't it? That Minseok loved, no, loves him? Somehow, it's not as gratifying as he imagined it to be. Not because he doesn't feel the same anymore. Minhyung has never stopped loving Minseok, and he probably never will. But, something's holding him back from being able to jump back into it fully.

He knows that he is, by nature, one of the most confident people out there. Minhyung's always been the guy who never doubts himself, a steady force for the people he knows. But right now? He's terrified, in a way that he's never really been before. A year ago, he put his heart on the line, not just for Minseok, but for everything he'd known, and all he got was the rug pulled out from under him. Minhyung had spent the better part of those months trying to come to terms with that fact, and now, he's finally closed that chapter of his life. To potentially allow himself to be swept by Minseok again, feels like looking into a deep pool and not knowing where the surface beneath the water is. He would jump and drown for him in a heartbeat, and that's the problem.

"At some point last year, I almost gave up on us." Minhyung feels numb admitting it. The truth seems to hit Minseok hard by the way he recoils, but it goes away as quickly as it comes. "Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this to make you feel bad. It's just, when everything back then happened, I was left questioning every choice I'd ever made. I've never stopped caring about you, but I'm afraid of just how much I do."

Minseok swallows. "I know I shouldn't have run away back then. I took you for granted, and I hate myself for it."

"Why, then? Why did you?" 

"I was a coward," Minseok laughs humorlessly. "I was afraid of failing at the one thing I can do, and losing it all. I thought, if I let myself have this, have us, I would mess up something along the way, and our careers would be over. Everything we do gets picked apart already, you know as well as I do that the media would rip into us like wolves. I couldn't take that risk, not when it was your dream too."

"But you're here now," Minhyung says. He has a feeling what Minseok is getting at, but he doesn't want to believe yet. Not until he hears it.

"I am," Minseok agrees. "After I left your apartment the day of the announcement, I kept thinking about why I felt the way I did. All this time, I've been toeing the line between wanting to let you go but also wanting to be selfish. Maybe I thought in my own twisted way that if I let you go, you would go on to be happier without me."

Minhyung's eyes soften. "You don't get to choose that for me, Minseok. All I've ever wanted was you."

"I know that now. I realized that all those reasons I had for why I couldn't be with you didn't really matter so much to me anymore. I keep contradicting myself, because I guess..." Minseok takes a deep breath. "I guess I am a little selfish. I wanted you back then, and I still do. So here I am, asking for another chance."

Minhyung studies him closely. A part of him is still hesitant; he's not used to being the one who's chased. He's almost afraid that it's too good to be true. "You're sure this time, right?"

Minseok grabs his hands and looks into his eyes, more determined than ever. "As sure as I've ever been. Let me try again. I won't make the same mistakes. Just... stay with me."

Minhyung exhales, feeling a weight being lifted off his chest. "Okay. We'll figure it out, together." 

Later, when everything's been said and done, the pair lounge with their phones in the living room, sitting on opposite ends of the couch with their legs tangled. It's, as Hyunjoon had lovingly labeled in years past, "sickeningly domestic." 

Suddenly, Minseok gets up, crawling across the couch and getting on top of Minhyung with his hands on both sides. He has that telling glint in his eyes when he's plotting something. The other man shoots him a puzzled look, but Minseok simply giggles. 

"If I confessed," Minseok whispers, leaning in like he's sharing a secret. "Would you accept it?"

Minhyung's eyes widen, and he stares at him, stunned. The support smiles innocently, tilting his head slightly in the way he knows gets him out of trouble every time.

A laugh escapes Minhyung, incredulous and utterly relieved. "I think we both know the answer to that, Minseokie."

In lieu of a response, Minseok leans down and presses their lips together. He feels Minhyung's smile against his lips, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world. It's just as he imagined, the tender way Minhyung kisses, the soft way he caresses Minseok's body meanwhile. There's no sense of urgency. It's just them, and it has always been just them.

In between kisses, Minseok pulls away breathlessly to look down at the other man. His heart nearly bursts with the sheer amount of affection he sees in Minhyung's gaze. 

Keria and Gumayusi. Gumayusi and Keria. Where one was mentioned, the other one was usually soon to follow. There was a time when Minseok thought this was the extent of what they would be: a fearless bot lane duo, striking down anyone standing in their way. That era has come and gone, but he looks back at it more fondly now, without the twinge of bitterness and guilt staining those memories.

"I love you, Lee Minhyung. Do you love me?"

He knows the answer, of course.

"I love you, now and forever."

Crashing their lips together again, Minseok thinks, knows, that this is exactly where he wants to be.