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It had been five years since Adam had escaped that bathroom, no thanks to Lawrence. Adam had waited days for him to come back. Lawrence never came back.
Adam didn’t even remember how he’d escaped. He’d blocked it out, and some days he could almost forget it had happened. Almost.
Because of the gunshot wound in his shoulder, Adam had developed mobility issues over the years and went to a physical therapist every week. Every time he took a shower, he saw the scar and his mind flashed back to being trapped in that horrible place with the tall blonde man.
Adam had to admit that he was proud of himself. After all, he’d come so far from who he was in the bathroom trap that he was now going to a nice cocktail party on the other side of town. Scott TIbbs, one of his close friends, had invited Adam, to which he gladly accepted. He’d managed to overcome the social anxiety that had clung to him after the incident.
He put on his nicest clothes - a plain white t-shirt, a dark red flannel, and brand new blue jeans - and got in his car, ready to make his way to the party.
It was a good 20 minutes away, and anxiety slowly started to eat at him as he drove. He blocked it out with music (his favorite Nine Inch Nails album, “The Downward Spiral.”)
When Adam finally arrived, he was filled with nerves. His hands were shaking, and he felt a bit of sweat bead on his forehead. He took a deep breath in and got out of his car. He started walking up to the venue - a nice suburban house. He could see the light emitting from the windows and his nerves seemed to calm, his breath returning to his lungs.
He walked up the steps to the porch and knocked on the door, his heart pounding in his chest. Scott opened the door to greet him.
They talked for a bit, Adam slowly relaxing into his surroundings, when Scott suddenly decided they needed drinks. He walked off towards the kitchen, leaving Adam in the middle of the living room by himself.
Left by himself, Adam swayed back and forth nervously, looking around at all of the other partygoers. He started calming down again at the sight of everyone lost in conversation until he saw him.
Lawrence.
Adam couldn’t believe it. He wouldn’t. It was just some other attendee, some other blonde with the same clothing style and a prosthetic foot and cane from sawing his foot off at the ankle to escape a trap and-
The tall man turned to look at the shorter one, his eyes widening as he froze in place.
His mouth opened as though he was going to say something, but no sound came out. He didn’t make a move to get closer to Adam.
Adam didn’t know what, exactly, but something in him broke. He started over towards Lawrence. His heart was pounding, and he could hear the blood pumping in his ears. His hands were shaking again.
Lawrence turned to face Adam completely and cast off the man he was talking to, focusing on the short man.
“Hey.” Adam said, an awkward tension lingering in the air between them.
“Um, hi.” Lawrence’s face was tinted red, and his gaze was cast down. Adam wondered if Lawrence’s head was bowed in embarrassment or shame.
“Long time no see, huh?” Lawrence nodded in response. It seemed as though he wanted to say something, but he was unable to formulate the words he wanted.
“Adam, I-” Lawrence was cut off by Scott’s rearrival. Scott handed Adam a red Solo cup of who knows what and stumbled off, clearly too drunk to process the moment he’d just interrupted.
“Care for a cigarette?” Adam asked, already stepping towards the back door. Lawrence followed, though both knew that he had no intention of smoking.
The two men stepped out into the cool fall breeze. Adam leaned against the wall, Lawrence standing diagonal to him.
Adam pulled his pack of cigarettes out of his back pocket, holding a cigarette between his lips. He pulled out his lighter and held it up to the cigarette, using his other hand to shield the flame from the wind.
When the tip of the cigarette caught fire, he pulled the lighter away and tucked it back into his pocket, taking a deep drag. He held out the pack of cigarettes to Lawrence in an offering, though he denied as was expected.
“So..” Adam exhaled smoke away from Lawrence. “Been a while. How’ve ya been?”
Despite his calm demeanor, seeing Lawrence again stirred up so many different emotions inside of Adam. Anger, nervousness, hurt, guilt, he couldn’t name all of them if he tried.
“I… I suppose so.” Lawrence responded. It was at this time that Adam remembered that Scott had brought him a drink. He’d set it down on the railing next to him. He took the cup in one hand, pulling the cigarette away from his lips with the other. He sipped at the mystery drink; it was very bitter, clearly alcoholic. He sat on the railing, sitting his cup next to him as he put his cigarette to his lips again.
“I’ve been doing well. My wife and I are divorced now; I have full custody of Diana, and she’s in her last year of junior high.” Adam cringed.
“Junior high? What is it, the 60’s?” Adam laughed, Lawrence shaking his head with a soft smile tugging at his lips.
“Anyways, that’s nice. I’m happy for you, glad you still get to see Diana.” Adam told Lawrence, taking another drag.
“Thank you.” Lawrence smiled at him, his cane leaning forgotten against the wall.
The tension between the two men was almost palpable. Adam finished his cigarette and crushed it against the railing, flicking it out into the yard. He took a sip of his drink.
It was almost another 10 minutes before Lawrence broke the silence.
“Adam, I-” He didn’t know what to say to the younger man. “I’m sorry that I never came back for you.”
Although he’d been expecting them, Adam’s heart leapt in his chest at Lawrence’s words.
“It’s… okay. I get it. I mean, I don’t know how you could’ve come back, missing a foot and all. By the way how’s that doing?” Lawrence pulled up the leg of his pants to reveal his prosthetic.
“I got a discount on it from my hospital. It’s been working pretty well. I still have the cane to assist me.” Adam nodded. “Also, Adam, it wasn’t okay. I promised to come back for you, and I didn’t. I should have. I’m sorry.” Adam shook his head, held up his hand.
“Really, Larry, stop apologizing.” Adam lit another cigarette as he spoke; smoking came naturally to him when he was nervous. “I understand. The past is behind us, right?” Although tentative at first, Lawrence nodded.
“Thank you for seeing it that way. I’m glad you don’t hold a grudge.” Adam laughed at Lawrence’s words, though he didn’t understand what was so funny about them.
“Do you wanna go back to the party?” Adam asked as he took a drag. Lawrence nodded.
“Perhaps finish your cigarette first?” Adam laughed and nodded.
The two men stood outside for a bit longer as the black-haired man finished his cigarette and flicked the butt into the yard with the other. They walked back inside.
When they made it back inside, they saw people dancing. It struck them both that there was a slow song playing.
They both stood awkwardly for a moment before, without thinking, Lawrence extended his hand to Adam.
“I suppose we should dance, hm?” Adam nodded and took his hand. Adam noticed how small his hand was compared to Lawrence’s.
The two positioned to dance something similar to a waltz, Adam’s head resting on Lawrence’s shoulder for comfort. They swayed back and forth, their feet moving in time with the music.
“You look nice tonight. I like your suit. It, well, suits you.” Lawrence chuckled at Adam’s bad joke.
“Thank you. This was my wedding suit, actually.” Lawrence told Adam.
“I can see why your wife decided to marry you.” Adam admitted to Lawrence. The older man looked confused.
“Really?” Adam nodded.
“You clean up pretty well, y’know.” Ever so slightly, Lawrence’s hand squeezed Adam’s.
“Thank you.” Lawrence said, his voice almost too quiet to be heard.
The two didn’t talk for the rest of the dance, and when the music ended they let go. Neither of them would admit how much they missed the other’s touch.
Lawrence checked his watch. “I suppose I should be headed home.”
“Oh yeah, me too. Gotta get to work in the morning.” Adam said. He still didn’t have a job, but Lawrence didn’t need to know that.
“It was, um, nice seeing you.” Lawrence said, his voice quiet. Adam nodded.
“It was nice seeing you too, Larry.” Adam said as he began walking out the front door and to his car. When he reached the driver’s side door, he saw Lawrence wave at him. He waved back before getting in and starting the car.
On the drive home, all he could think about was Lawrence and what a coincidence it had been that they had met again at that party after all those years. He turned on the radio to drown out his thoughts.
When he got home, he didn’t bother showering and rather went straight to bed after changing out of his semi-formal clothes. His mind still lingered on the tall blonde, the way he talked even after how much time had passed. Lawrence was the last thing Adam saw before he fell into a dreamless sleep with the TV in the background.