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• You hadn’t exactly been preventing pregnancy. You were only pulling out and accepting that whatever happens, happens. Good thing, as Geoff is not the best at pulling out. He fully blames you for that though. The second you start cumming on his cock, he’s cumming and giving you the deepest creampie.
• Amazed that he helped create a little human. Like, his knob contributed something meaningful.
• Loves your pregnancy boobs. Will suck on them and say "You need to get used to this for when the baby gets here."
• Takes him 30 minutes to figure out how to collapse the buggy
• Cries when he first holds the baby.
• The baby obvs has his blue eyes and wild curls
• “He has a redder face than me!” Well he is only 15 minutes old.
• If you have a son, (his first born will be a son imo) the baby’s bedroom will definitely be army themed. He’ll tell you to relax and he’ll sort everything out, but then the room has camo wall paper with green carpet. Toy soldiers amongst the Teletubbies toys. Nerf guns with bullets strewn everywhere.
• Whenever the baby does a big fart or shit, he says "He got that from me." To which you reply “He gets his snoring from you too.”
• Will accidentally blow his cigarette smoke in the baby’s face all the time. “Oh shit, sorry ‘bout that, lad.”
• Trains the baby to say ‘I love you’ as soon as they can talk. Even if the toddler doesn’t know what it means, it heals Geoff’s heart.
• Having a child fills his cuddle needs. Whenever he is feeling down, he can scoop up his kid and have a snuggle. He finds it healing and grounding. Baby not going down for its nap? Not wanting to sleep in the cot? Let daddy hold him and he’ll nap in his arms.
• When the child reaches an age where they just wanna play and grow out of snuggles, he goes up to you all sweetly and says “When are we having another one?” 🥺
• Two kids giving him cuddles? He has died and gone to heaven.
• His kids never feeling scared to open up to him. Always know dad will hug them and tell them everything will be okay.
• Being so in love with his child makes him reflect on his own childhood, and how his own father clearly never felt that way towards him. How could his dad have ever hurt him? Surely it would have been like hurting himself. Because if anyone dares to hurt his baby, the gun is coming out. (I feel like I read somewhere that Geoff has some childhood trauma)
• Doesn’t want to be like his own dad. Doesn’t want his kids to fear him. He only ever wants love. The man is desperate for it 🥹
• Always compliments his kids. Tells them they’re smart, and brave, and creative.
• Despite your kids making you go broke, he’s the richest he’s ever felt. No amount of money could equate to how full his heart feels.
• Gets invested in the drama at school. “That kid’s a twat. Did you tell ‘em who your dad is?” As if he’s intimidating to anyone in Vasey.
• Snack king 🍫 Kid hungry right before dinner? He’ll sneak them a mars bar from the kitchen without you seeing. They want a happy meal for tea? Haven’t gotta ask him twice.
• Uses food to try to calm down tantrums. “Would a tube of smarties make happy?”
• Geoff finally feels like he’s winning at something. Like, he’s finally beating Mike. All his bitterness is gone as he now feels like he is doing better than those around him. He has a hotter wife, better family, happier home.
• Has family pictures all over his desk at work. Constantly showing them off. “Look at how fit my missus is.” “He’s the apple of my eye. Little tyke is crawling now. Proper little Tipps he is.”
• Has a picture in his wallet of you in lingerie holding your baby bump and says to himself “I won the wives.”
• He keeps all the handmade father’s day stuff his kids make at school.
• 10/10 uses his worlds best dad mug at work to show off
• His kids absolutely roast him for crap jokes. Will just straight up tell him he’s not funny.
• For someone with army experience and owns a gun, his kids don’t find him threatening at all. Even he would admit he is shit at discipline. If you say “wait ‘till your dad gets home”, they’ll just roll their eyes. When Geoff does try to have conversations with them about their behaviour, he just ends up crying and apologising if he has ever upset them. His dad fucked him up royally.
• “Go fetch Daddy his lighter.”
• Takes the kids to war museums and tells them he served for his country too. Acts like he was a soldier that survived a WW2 prisoner of war camp.
• Enrols his son up to the boy scouts so he can ‘learn survival skills’.
• When you go away with the kids, he has all this bravado about how he’ll finally have the house to himself and is looking forward to the peace. But then feels sad come the evening. Being alone reminds him of when he was divorced, single and miserable, so he desperately misses you all.
• Insists on family camping holidays, then complains when you’re not doing it ‘properly’. “We had no gameboys when I was in the TAs.” “No, we’re not using a camping stove. We need to get the fire bigger.” Lowkey traumatises his kids through his aggressive camping.
• Kicks off at his son’s football matches. Calls the ref a bellend and accuses one of the parents of paying the ref to rig the match.
• Does the stereotypical thing of when his son gets a girlfriend he’s all “get in there my son”, but with his daughter, he threatens her bf with the gun.