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he felt tingly all over; invisible to everyone but him cold hands roamed pervasively over his body. it's weird, isn't it? the way fred whispers his name under his breath feels more like a manic prayer; and maybe that's right. fred's pupils dilate as he watches, rough fingers intertwine with his — a chaste kiss; chapped, dry lips on his. the touch is faint, and fuzzy, and yet all too real. his hands ruffle through his locks, snake under his collar. freddy, freddy, freddy-- echoes in the back of his mind, somewhere deep down. seeps into his bones, makes his heart throb. his other half grins, wrapping his arms around his neck. fred's touch is chilly, but that's how it's always been.
«that's a little mean, freddy», — his right hand brushes over his pulse point; over his bangs; outlines his lips. freddy smiles at the touch. fred could feel something else under that smile, but couldn't put a finger on it. well, he's always been bad with... feelings.
«what are you thinking about?», — fred leans into him, their foreheads touching, bangs messily blending together, — «how much i'd like to choke you out», — he could probably feel freddy's grin with his eyes shut. he's lying; fred clicks his tongue, — «i'm serious», — fred's eyes narrow, feeling like they'd burn a hole through him. he looks away.
fred grips his shoulders (or tries to, anyway), straddles his hips, sits there and watches. white pupils meet sky blue, his expression completely unreadable. he's actually expecting an answer, freddy realizes. «i'm still, y'know, not over that whole fiasco», — fred's sincerely confused face makes him feel a little bit better, at least. the corners of freddy's mouth turn up nervously, — «the pills? isolating you from everyone?», — something else remains unsaid, to fred's dismay, — «yes, yes, you've repented enough. can't you let go of that for good? i'm doing okay now», — these all-too-familiar words don't do anything to him anymore.
his expression sours, — «but, fred, i learned to hurt you. i believed it was the right thing to do», — that you didn't deserve to live, is what he means; well. you can't be too mad at the guy when you realize he never viewed you as an actual person before. the fact that his sadness was almost palpable in the air definitely did not help him getting even more ticked off. fred shrugs, backing off, — «we've been over this: yeah you were kinda a piece of shit, but i wasn't a saint to you either. it was a vicious cycle», — a hand ruffled freddy's hair. his hand? he wasn't sure.
«i don't know how you can be so casual about this», — brows furrowing, freddy tries to turn away. his right hand doesn't let him, — «will you keep brooding all day because of this?», — he flushes, embarrassed more than anything else now; part of it being fred's gaze on him. he's never been particularly good at maintaining eye contact without looking like a freak. hands on hands, he cradles freddy's face closer. that's fine too.