Work Text:
The night was cold, dark, and rather lonely. Even despite the five sleeping soundly on the futon, one was still kept awake with thoughts roaming around his head as he quietly tapped the keys on his younger brother’s laptop.
“What is a meme”
Ahh yes, a meme. This word haunted Karamatsu, and as well for a few of his brothers. Mainly Choroamtsu and Todomatsu to be exact. Osomatsu and Jyushimatsu were…. Quite the “memelords”. Whatever that could mean.
“Meme…”
Just what did it mean?
Was it a pet name? Was it something you used to gain friends? Some part of history? Something that made you into a better person?
Just what is a meme?
Karamatsu gently pressed the enter key as results slowly filled the screen, reading each word with care.
“ meme
mēm/
noun
- an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation.
- a humorous image, video, piece of text, etc. that is copied (often with slight variations) and spread rapidly by Internet users.”
He gasped slightly in awe.
“This is what a meme is?” He whispered oh so softly, making sure not to wake his brothers. His glance shifted around the room, making sure they were all asleep.
‘None of them are awake… Good’ he thought as his fingers danced around the keyboard, typing the name of some meme he had heard in the past into the searchbar.
“Dat boi”
This was the meme Osomatsu compared Choromatsu to, right? Well, a few things are noticeable with similarities. For one, they are both boys. That’s about all there is.
The blinding light from the computer shined a combination of whites and greens, a bit of orange too. Karamtsu dragged the cursor over to “images” and clicked, releasing a number of frogs riding unicycles on his screen.
“Here come dat boi!!!!!!
O shit waddup!”
Karamatsu felt something spark in his brain as if he got an idea. Though, once he looked at the clock and noticed the time, he realized he should rest with the others.
‘Tomorrow,’ he thought. ‘I will become a greater person’
The next day, Karamatsu was surprisingly the first to awake. Even earlier than Jyushimatsu, who always left early to play baseball by himself. Choromatsu woke up early too. Though for no other reason other than to just seem responsible.
He could only wonder how early it actually was. He carefully slid out of his resting spot, opening up the laptop to check the time.
1:34 AM
Oh.
He slept for two minutes.
He sighed, shutting the laptop again and going back to bed.
He couldn’t change now.
He wanted the world to see.
The day actually started, Karamatsu ending up to be the last to wake up. In fact, he slept in so much his brothers just rolled up the futon with him still in it and shoved it in the closet. He easily squirmed his way out after about a minute. Coming out of the closet was nothing new for him, so it wasn’t difficult to get out again. Karamatsu let out a sigh of relief as he could now start his day.
A day where he could finally be a different person.
Someone that was liked
Karamatsu strutted out the door, wearing his normal blue hoodie. His fashion would change today. He would finally be something people actually considered “cool”.
The second son was practically jumping with excitement. Well, internally of course. He couldn’t bare to disturb the public in such a way. He walked over to a clothing store, one full of lots of green. As he stepped inside, a young man greeted him.
“Ah, hello! If you ever need help with anything, you can ask me or anyone else working.” He gave a kind, charming smile. Karamatsu felt his face slightly go red, though tried focusing on the true matter at hand.
“Heh, I indeed do need your help, my Karamatsu boy~” The male worker laughed as he gave full attention to Karamatsu. “Okay, what is it?”
Karamtsu laughed his cool laugh as he smiled at the man, his heart fluttering oh so slightly.
“How much green clothing do you have?”
“Uuughhh, Choromatsu…” Osomatsu whined, “I’m booreed.” Choromatsu kept reading his idol magazine, not even batting an eye. “You know if y-” “Yeah okay but consider this: what if I didn’t get a job like you want me to? Because I’m not getting one soon.” Osomatsu interrupted, leaving Choromatsu to huff out a sigh and ignore his complaints and blabberings.
“Hey, Choromatsu.” Osomatsu said, sitting up from the floor. “You know what you remind me of?”
“Don’t even say it.”
“This little green frog…”
“Oh my god you are gonna say it.”
“Who goes by the name…”
“Please death take me now”
“Pepe.” Osomatsu finished.
The room went completely silent, Choromatsu finally looking up from his magazine.
“Is ‘Pepe’ some new meme or something? You always compare me to the boy.”
Osomatsu made some weird sound, possibly to express anger. Or maybe it was to express enjoyment. Maybe it was to express him being dead inside. “Choromatsu, Pepe is a vintage meme. A meme that has been around much longer than dat boi.” He gave Choromatsu a pat on the back, who slightly scooted away in disgust of Osomatsu’s talk of the ‘me-mes’.
“Okay but consider: I do not care for your ‘memes’.” Choromatsu said, nudging Osomatsu away. Osomatsu just chuckled. “Choromatsu, aren’t you the one who asked though?” His laugh became louder, trying to grasp his younger brother’s attention again.
“Obviously, you hold a dark secret you wish to share with no one. You see, remember how we stuffed Karamatsu in the closet this morning?” He paused, waiting for some sort of response.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
“WELL imagine YOU’RE in the closet….. And just why? Because you’re secretive about your love for memes!” Osomatsu snapped his fingers, as if he found the last piece to a puzzle.
“I got it!” He yelled, pointing a finger at Choromatsu. “You’re obviously memesexual!” That was it, he truly figured out the mystery about his younger brother!
“That’s nice.” Choromatsu said in a monotone voice, flipping another page. Osomatsu knew the truth about his brother. He knew it all.
“Speaking of Karamatsu…” The eldest started, “where did he even go?”
“Are you sure he’s not in the closet?”
“I checked every nook and cranny. He’s not there.”
“He probably just left to… do whatever he does during the day. It’s not a big deal, Osomatsu nii-san.”
Osomatsu felt somewhat uneasy for a second, though quickly erased the feeling as he went over to Todomatsu’s laptop. Once he opened it he noticed the last person hadn’t closed their tabs.
“Choromatsu, look at this!” Osomatsu called, waving a hand over.
“Nii-san, I don’t have time fo-”
“Shut up and come look.” He interrupted once more, leaving Choromatsu to give in and look at the computer screen.
When he did his eyes widened in shock.
“Alright, did you get everything you wanted?” The man asked, handing Karamatsu a bag full of clothes. Karamatsu smirked. “Heh, all thanks to you my dear Karamatsu boy!” He lied. He didn’t get everything he wanted because he still wanted to know this man more. He wanted to hang out with him, to be with him. But alas, he had to suffer the fate of a one-sided attraction.
“I… shall be on my way now.” Karamatsu hesitated to walk to the exit, truthfully not wanting to leave.
“Oh, alright! Please come again, Karamatsu-san!” He waved, a bit of sorrow present in his voice. Karamatsu turned around to wave back and see his beautiful face once more, but once he locked eyes with the man he just stood there, frozen.
“Karamatsu-san? Are you alright?” The worker asked, the concern clearly visible on his face. Damn it… Why was this man so perfect? Charming, helpful, kind, funny, the list goes on and on.
This was it, Karamatsu. You either make it or break it.
“O-Oh well, actually, there was something I wanted to ask you my Karamatsu boy~” C’mon, don’t mess up now. You got this in the bag.
“I was wondering if you could erm… help me pick out something else.” The painful matsu awaited the man’s reply, having high hopes with his response.
“Is that all? Okay! What do you need help with?” He asked, the stress leaving from his face and replaced with another dashing smile.
“I-I need to know where I can find a unicycle!” Oh no. He was stuttering. Oh god, oh god. Was face red? It was definitely red. Oh god. Abort mission, abort mission!
The worker placed a finger on his chin, thinking of any near shops that sold such an item.
“I can’t think of any shops around town… But if I remember there’s one at my house I used to ride a few years ago. It should still work.” Karamatsu’s face lit up. Mainly because he could spend more time with this wonderful man. But he was happy that he was one step closer to being loved and respected.
“I get my break soon, so if you just wait a while I can go get it for you.” Karamatsu nodded eagerly. “But of course, I could wait an entire lifetime for you!” He glanced over at the clothing slave once more, his laugh echoing throughout the small shop.
It was something of beauty. Like that of a wondrous melody played by a flute. It was music to the ears and just something that would warm anyone’s heart.
“Okay but why are you on my computer.”
“Todomatsu, There is no time for messing around.”
“You need to see this.”
Three of the Matsuno sextuplets huddled around the old laptop, scrolling through the search history.
“...Who the hell searched up ‘What is a meme’? Who even does that? Did Dad use my computer or something?” Todomatsu asked, glancing at his older brothers for a reply.
“Totty....”
“Totty.” Osomatsu and Choromatsu said one after the other. Choromatsu shook his head. “This is on Karamatsu’s account.”
“Oh dear god.”
“Thank you for waiting, Karamatsu-san!” The man started as he rode in on his orange unicycle. “This thing still works like a charm!” Karamatsu smiled as he heard his angelic voice. So perfect, so soothing…
“Karamatsu-san? Hello?” He waved a hand in front of the blue matsu, causing him to snap awake. “OH- Um-- Yes, what is it my Karamatsu boy?” He gave his best attempts to keep up his facade. Thankfully his act was convincing enough.
“Here’s the unicycle you asked for!” Karamatsu walked over to the man, thanking him before grabbing the unicycle. He stopped in his tracks as he reali--
“Oh and you don’t need to pay for it. You can have it for free if you’d like.” Shades of red slightly dusted the male worker’s face as he smiled shyly.
Oh god. Oh god. Oh gOD HE’S CUTE.
“H-heh… thank you very much for this. Your good deeds will not go to waste!” Karamatsu’s face flushed more obviously than normal. But he didn’t mind. Not anymore.
The man in front of him smiled, as he waved farewell for the last time.
“You’re welcome! It was no problem, especially for someone as nice as you!” Oh god. The way he spoke made Karamatsu’s heart flutter and scream.
“P-please come back again!” he continued, his face blossoming light shades of red. The painful man only stopped in his tracks to finally take one last look at his new found crush standing before him.
“Heh, a-anything for a K-Karamatsu boy.” Reluctantly, he walked away from the store as he waved back.
Once he got out of sight, he ran back home instead of riding the unicycle because truthfully, he never learned.
He would never see his Karamatsu boy again, would he?
.
.
.
No.
It wasn’t the time to think about that.
He had to become a greater person. Right. Now.
“EHH??!” The three sextuplets yelled in utter shock.
“Ichimatsu-- when did you know about this?” Choromatsu questioned in a concerned tone.
“I taught him!!” The fifth son raised a sleeve-covered arm in the air, not even to show pride or anything.
“Well then how does he know about modern memes if all you talk about is ‘me gusta’ or ‘doge’?” Todomatsu frowned, unhappy with his big brother’s actions.
“I don’t know!!” Jyushimatsu confessed, lowering his arm.
“JYUSHIMATSU HOW DOES HE KNOW HOW TO DAB” The eldest screeched.
“That’s all you ever do, Osomatsu nii-san.”
“Okay but consider: I wasn’t asking you Todomatsu.”
The bickering between siblings lasted for a few minutes-- maybe a few good hours. Osomatsu yelled at everyone for no real reason. Choromatsu climbed inside the closet, locking himself in. Ichimatsu dabbed every now and then, not even saying words. Jyushimatsu laughed and answered questions while Todomatsu joined Choromatsu in the closet and sat in the corner to rethink his entire life.
Everything was going like any normal day, until the door busted open revealing some green light.
The five brothers, even those in the closet, shielded their eyes from the blinding light. Though it only continued even further. The sound of a flute played but rather poorly. No, scratch that-- REALLY poorly. Some notes were too high while some were too low or the tune went completely off beat. It was a disaster that no one would ever want to hear.
“O shit, waddup, brothers!”
The room went silent. Choromatsu and Todomatsu came out of the closet, the youngest coming out more easily than his older sibling. Osomatsu stopped his yelling. Jyushimatsu even stopped his seemingly endless giggles. Ichimatsu stood there and dabbed.
There they saw it. The worst thing the muppet eye could ever see.
Matsuno Karamatsu
The second son of the Matsuno sextuplets
There he sat on a unicycle wearing a green suit.
“Oh dear god.”
“What are you wearing?”
“Is this ‘the boy’ you won’t shut up about, Osomatsu nii-san?"
“HERE COMES DAT BOI!!! HERE COMES DAT BOI!!!”
“..."
“Ichimatsu your dabbing is getting out of hand.”
“Ahh, my brothers. I see you have taken notice to my new fashion, non?” Karamatsu buzzed, anxiously awaiting a reply.
All of them-- minus Jyushimatsu glared at their brother.
“Heh, I have finally become what you all call… a dank me-me!”
Karamatsu sparkled as he saw the others slowly stide over to where he was standing
They all reached for different limbs, gripping on tight.
‘Is this part of the me-me experience???’
"Ah, is this a group hug? Well then, come fourth an--" Then, his brothers proceeded to fling him out of the house, leaving a hole in the ceiling.
“There we go.” Todomatsu gave a sigh of relief, just wanting the meme hell to end. His gaze shifted over to Ichimatsu, who he expected to be dabbing. He was.
And thus, everyone went back to doing they’re normal thing. Osomatsu left to play pachinko and came home crying. Choromatsu questioned whether it’s okay to be sexually attracted to memes. Ichimatsu was still a furry. Jyushimatsu took his “awake pills” as he frolicked around the house for hours while Osomatsu and Ichimatsu joined him as Choromatsu would just touch the pills. Todomatsu left to hide in the closet and eventually die.
And Karamatsu was never seen again.
Everyone lived happily ever after.
The end.