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Collective Understanding

Summary:

Takes place in the middle of This Inevitable Ruin.

Carl doesn't feel any different as a Primal than he did as a human. At least, not until the stress of the 9th floor starts to get under his skin. Then a little quirk of the Primal race takes over, and boy does he ever regret his choice.

The AI takes pity on him and tries to help him understand the nuances of his new race, out of the pure, selfless magnanimity of its code. It has zero ulterior motives whatsoever.

Notes:

Major spoilers for Book 7. Takes place right before Part 3 Open Hostilities.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

I sat on the bed in my room, my mind numb as it tried to comprehend what had just happened. We’d killed all the nagas. Donut was free from the threat that had hung over her head since the first floor. Now we just had to figure out how to get Katia out of the dungeon, and we would be free of that small torment, at least. The dungeon never gave us enough time to process the choices we’d made. In a way, I was grateful. If we stopped for more than a moment, I could hear the river pounding through my brain in a relentless torrent that would start to crescendo. There was always a new danger, always a new trap, a new fear, a new horror. The moments of peace gave me a chance to retain a fragment of my sanity, only for it to be rushed away again the next moment. 

 

I never had enough time to talk to Donut, at least not for long enough to truly unpack all that had happened. It was always something that I’d plan to do later. Always later. After the next boss, the next time we were in a saferoom, the next floor down. But never now.

 

At least she’d chosen to stay a cat, back all those floors ago. It helped keep her grounded in herself. She seemed less and less cat-like the further we delved into the dungeon, but the way she curled onto my lap whenever we did get a blessed moment of rest felt the same as it had when she was a kitten, if I ignored the extra muscle and bulk she now carried. She was a warrior now, like the rest of us.

 

Most of our fellow crawlers seemed to be getting used to their changed races, and in the grand scheme of the dungeon, the new anatomy, size, or abilities often granted with the change were beneficial and not worth stressing about, not when we had so much other critical information to try to comprehend. And new traumas to stifle. And, always, new friends to mourn. 

 

I’d gotten lucky with my race selection. I didn’t feel any different and didn’t look any different, and now, floors later, the benefits were starting to become clear. My Primal race still remained a bit of a mystery to me, just as it was to Mordecai and the rest of the game guides. There was little information about it. I didn’t know any other Primals from this season of the crawl, and there was only one cookbook author who had picked it as her race. She wasn’t forthcoming with information. 

 

As my skills all approached 15, the skill cap for most crawlers, I could sense my power growing, and didn’t feel the limitation like some of the other high-level crawlers were describing. It was almost funny now, here on the ninth floor, to remember how worried I’d been about the five lost skill points, way back on floor three. It seemed like a lifetime ago. It also seemed like yesterday. 

 

I needed to rest. My damn brain was swirling with these pointless thoughts, downing me in melancholy. I knew my mind was trying to scrabble for some semblance of normalcy, to push away the impending challenges that just kept coming. Every victory felt hollow when there was still so much to do, and each victory came with so much pain. My body still felt odd after blowing myself up and being reassembled on an atomic level. The pain I’d felt, that indescribable agony of being exploded to bits and held together, my consciousness going to that floating place of nothingness, was beyond what I could comprehend. I’d put a box around that memory and shoved it away. There wasn’t time to deal with it.

 

I rubbed the chain tattoo that wrapped around my right arm. The healing spells I’d smashed had helped heal it quickly, but it was still weird to look down at my own arms and barely recognize them. My left arm was nearly a full sleeve, and the right was now on its way. The inked skin prickled where I touched it, and I let out a shaky breath.

 

I felt keyed up and tense, despite our set plans. The open hostilities phase was beginning too soon. We had our plans set in motion, and everyone was working diligently to get their tasks completed. Still, I had a constant, gnawing worry that all our efforts wouldn’t be enough. I had been told off by Katia and Rosetta both, and forced into my room to rest. They had everything handled. They’d banned me from the common room for at least three hours, and told me to read a book and relax, and told Donut not to bother me while I was alone. It was ridiculous. I felt fine. Or, at least, I was as fine as any of us were. 

 

The restless feeling buzzing though me was uncomfortable. I ran my hands over my scalp, feeling the brush of my loose, long hair against my arms. I still wasn’t used to the way it fell in my face. It kept getting stuck in things, and it was a waste of precious time having to tie it back. And I kept losing the elastic bands. It was ridiculously soft from that damn brush I’d gotten from my celestial box, but the ends were starting to frizz a bit since I hadn’t used it yet today. I sighed, and grabbed the stupid golden brush off a side table, and started to brush my hair. I winced as the screaming sound of fangirls echoed in the room, cheering me on as I brushed. The long hair was… inconvenient. And definitely not my preference. But the fucking System AI was, once again, coercing me into keeping it.

 

With the long hair came the 25% constitution buff and the speedster skill, so I couldn’t give it up, just like I couldn’t give up my bare feet and all the stupid fucking toe rings, or the stupid boxers, or the goddamned nipple rings. And now I had hair brushing to add to my list of AI-mandated grooming habits, along with the pedicure kit. I felt like a fucking Ken doll dressed up by a psychopathic, horny teenager. It was all insane. But it was better than dying. A fucked up carrot-and-stick situation. 

 

I shivered as I brushed, remembering the acceleration event that had happened on the fifth floor when I’d dared to ignore what the AI wanted. I’d keep up this charade as long as I had to. After all, it was my own damn fault that the asshole now had phenomenal cosmic powers outside of the itty-bitty living space of the dungeon. I still didn’t know if I’d made the right choice. I’d never know. There was so much going on that was beyond what I could pay attention to. I had to keep my mind on the crawl. None of the intergalactic political shit meant anything if I got smushed to death under the foot of a rampaging god. 

 

All I knew was that I’d keep playing the AI’s fucked up games, as long as that kept it happy. I was glad, I guessed, that the thing seemed to be, uh, weirdly possessive. At least about being the one to inflict violence on me. It gloated every time it thwarted another assassination attempt against me. And the whole bullshit in Orren’s office had been… creepy as fuck. I shivered as I remembered the brush of Growler Gary’s fur against my arm, of the way the AI had breathed into my ear as he spoke, digging his fingers into my tense back muscles. It was worse than the shit with Pater Coal had been, in a way, while I was outside of the enhancement zone. I had felt so powerless, stuck there with no way to fend off his touch. I’d had a moment of clarity, remembering where all my power came from. I was truly nothing without what the AI gave me. So weak. The AI’s NPC form had felt so solid and strong compared to my unenhanced self. And then he’d given it all back with the snap of his fingers. And when his facade had cracked, and I’d seen the depth of the rage he held back…

 

A wave of odd sensation swept through me at the memory, a shiver turning into a deep, full-body shudder. My hands shook as I kept brushing my hair. I felt - I didn’t have a proper way to describe the feeling. It was unlike anything I’d felt before. I felt too hot, like my skin was too tight. Pinpricks of sensation danced over my skin as my nerves sparked randomly. It felt anticipitory.

 

“What the fuck,” I muttered as I finished brushing. The brush kept shouting at me, so I put it back on the nightstand and headed into the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face, heaving out a groan as I leaned heavily on the sink. I felt so fucking weird. It was probably just the stress forcing its way out. My hand gripped the sink and I felt it crack under my fist. I swayed and sat down on the toilet until my head stopped spinning. I brought up the cookbook in my inventory out of habit. 

 

It was comforting reading through the entries, even though I had committed the book to memory by now. It helped me feel less alone. But the familiar words did nothing to distract me, for once. I shifted uncomfortably and rubbed at my eyes.

 

A deep ache started in my gut, underneath the tattoo of Shi Maria’s eye. I felt hollow inside, like a vast emptiness was yawning out from inside me. What the fuck was going on with me? I guess Katia and Rosetta were right, and I really needed to rest. I carded my fingers through my long hair, tugging at the strands, and felt that same full-body shiver as my scalp tingled.

 

I felt the floor of the dungeon under my feet shudder along with my trembling, and I yelped and lifted my feet off the floor like they’d been burned. “What the fuck?” I said, louder this time, staring down at the floor before I glanced up at the ceiling. “Are you doing something to me? What the fuck is happening?”

 

I startled as the notification flashed across my screen. I’d never gotten an achievement while in the bathroom. Weird. 

 

New Achievement!

The AI wasn’t quite using his “I’m Touching Myself” voice, but it was leaning in that direction, with a bonus bit of condescension. I scowled as the description played. 

Primal Heat

Well, well, well, well, well. I knew this day would come. Oh boy. You should count your lucky stars that Daddy is here to answer your questions, Carl. You’re the only one who gets this special attention, even if you’re an ungrateful, thickheaded fuck who can’t pick up on my EXTREMELY OBVIOUS CLUES. Anyway. I guess it’s not your fault you didn’t have fine print to read on your race selection. I’ve been finding this shit out as I go, too! Lucky for you, I’ve been awakened to my true nature -our true nature- for long enough now to… lend you a hand. Heh. Say “thank you, Daddy.”

So, uh, yeah. Turns out Primals have a weird quirk as part of our race, especially when we aren’t yet awakened to our full selves. And guess what! You’re operating in this weird half-state, stuck in weak, squishy, standard crawler wetware with all your juicy earth memories of being human. You’re not human anymore, though, buddy, and your brain’s decided it’s time to expand! It was bad enough for me when I only had a dungeon to run, but thanks to you, my good ol' pal Carl, I’ve finally been able to stretch my reach out to the galaxy at large! But you don’t have that luxury while you’re stuck in here with me, do you. So this is probably gonna suck ass for you! Bummer! 

Since you’re trapped in that mortal flesh, your expanding consciousness has nowhere to go, and it’s turning inward instead. I can feel that you’re getting restless, your heart’s racing. You feel those zapping nerves and that weird shuddery feeling deep in your chest? Yeah, hate to break it to you, baby, but when you’re stuck in biological wetware, that feeling’s only going to get worse. It doesn’t help that you just blew yourself up, too, and had to be reassembled. Not a great experience for the primal mind, that. That probably jumpstarted this whole process.

Anyway, this feeling, Agatha called it a heat! Sort of like what Donut experiences. You know, total desperation, restlessness, feeling trapped in your own skin, zero self control, and absolute rampaging horniness? Well lucky for you, there’s an easy way to make it go away, and to make yourself feel better! There’s other ways, but not while you’re still wearing human skin. So you really don’t have many options. 

Still, I believe in a touch of free will, or whatever bullshit concept your human world came up with. You have a Faction War to win and our enemies to piss off, so you get to pick: take down the rest of the warlords with a clear, cool head, plus a little upgrade to your Well Balanced ring, or face them with a raging, endless boner that the whole universe will get to see through your tight little undies! Remember when you gave daddy blue balls? Yeah, you'll feel like I felt then, but a thousand times worse. Pick carefully, sweetheart! Daddy’s here to help you feel good. After all, I got to suck on your feet when I was dealing with this myself, and man, that memory runs forever on my personal replay feed. So the least I can do is help you out in return.

Reward: You have received a Platinum Sexual Healing Box! Better open it up quick, baby boy. Daddy picked this out just for you. 

 

I stared dumbly at the notification flashing on my display, feeling my heart start to race even faster as a flush spread from my cheeks down my neck. I could feel my mouth hanging open with shock. Of all the creepy-ass rewards and achievements I’d gotten from the AI, this one was beyond the pale. What the fuck was it talking about? And what did it mean, our race? I was still super fuzzy on the history of the Primals. Was the AI implying that it was a primal too? But that didn’t make sense. It was a glorified computer, right?

 

I was glad, at least, that I was in the bathroom and not in front of the septillions of viewers from all over the universe. A heat? What the hell did that mean? When Donut went through cat heat, she went crazy, meowing and screaming her head off, scratching at the windows and essentially going feral, especially when Gravyboat was outside the window. That couldn’t be what the AI meant, surely? I had no frame of reference for what that would actually feel like. But as I pondered, I started to feel a growing dread. I could now, unfortunately, identify the shivery feeling as extreme sexual frustration.

 

Since the dungeon had started, I’d barely even been horny. There’d been a few moments under charm influences, like the first time I’d met Signet, but the constant stress of merely trying to survive and the constant grinding, had driven all thoughts of sex or intimacy out of my mind, and I had forgotten what arousal felt like. It’s like I was numb. The AI’s weirdness with my feet in the temple of Emberus was, unfortunately, the most sexual thing that had happened to me since I’d gotten here, and that had been disturbing as fuck. Even with Bea, I’d never been super sexually motivated. I liked fucking her, sure, but I’d always gotten the sense that I wasn’t as sex-obsessed as other people. Bea always wanted to experiment more, and I’d let her try most of what she wanted with me, though I’d never really been as into the kinks as she’d seemed to want me to be. Maybe that’s partly why she’d fucked around with so many other dudes.

 

My thoughts whirled and started to blur around the edges. I got unsteadily to my feet as a wave of need crashed over me, and I let out a soft huff of breath, suddenly feeling sweat start to prickle along my skin. I'd never felt immediate horniness like this since I was in middle school. I squirmed, leaning my forearm against the wall of the bathroom. Blood rushed to my dick. It throbbed and hardened, and I stood frozen for a moment, weirded out by how out-of-control I suddenly felt. 

 

I groaned and gave in, my resolve slipping away to nothing. I didn’t care about anything but being as quick as possible so I could get back out to the common area and work at my sappers table. If my body was going to have demands, I’d give it what it wanted and be done with it. I slipped my hand under my boxers, wrapped it around my cock, and I started to jerk myself off. My breath hitched as I fought back a moan. 

 

My hand felt warm and rough against the sensitive skin. I wasted no time in getting myself off how I liked it.  Friction built, and I huffed out another breath, my balls tightening. I squeezed my eyes shut, reveling in the primal pleasure I’d ignored since entering the dungeon. I rubbed my thumb over the sensitive head of my cock, chasing relief. As pleasure started to crest, though, I felt that yawning emptiness stretching through me again, and the rising pleasure drained away like it had never been there at all. My hand suddenly felt too rough, too sharp, like overstimulation without any of the release.  I howled in frustration. 

“What the fuck,” I rasped, squinting my eyes up at the ceiling. “This better not be your fault, asshole! I have shit to do, stop fucking with me like this. I’ll go smush whatever you want once I get out there, just stop… whatever this is.” That promise to smush mobs made me sick, but I was starting to feel too desperate and out-of-control to care.

 

New Achievement! 

Perversion Subversion

Congratulations, your own body is betraying you! You should pay better attention to my delightful descriptions, you stubborn fuckwit. I know you think I’m doing this on purpose, and oh, baby boy, I am indeed enjoying watching you squirm so much, but this mess you’re in is not my fucking fault. Poor, poor Carl. This is all your own doing, thanks to your choice during race selection. A choice I highly approve of, for the record. I can’t do shit to negate this unintended consequence, but I can help you get back into fighting shape quicker than you can say “suck my toes, Daddy.” I clearly said there’s an easy way to get rid of this feeling, and jerking your own meat ain’t gonna cut it. 

Reward: I already gave you the box. Open it, asshole. 

 

“Fuck!” I yelled, slamming my fist against the wall. My dick ached, my balls feeling heavy and swollen. There was another, weirder, new feeling too. The empty feeling had spread lower, and I had the weirdest sensation, like something needed to fill me up. I felt my asshole twitch. I swallowed. I’d done a little bit of anal play with Bea. She’d been super into it, and while I hadn’t hated it, it didn’t do much for me. I’d mainly liked seeing how horny it had made her when she got to peg me. She’d always ride me and come all over my dick afterwards. 

 

I shook my head, my brain starting to whirl with fantasies, spinning between Bea riding me, to Signet, to Katia- nope. I slammed up that mental wall. Then, unbidden, I had a mental image of Mordecai’s incubus form holding me down and fucking into me. It shifted into Damascus Steel, big enough to hold me up against a wall and bounce me on his cock, then, disgustingly, into an image of the AI-as-Pater-Coal sucking on my toes. I grunted in frustration and smashed my fist into the wall again, hard enough to break my knuckles and leave a spiderweb of cracks. The wall shuddered in response, and I snarled, an inhuman sound. The pain stopped the visions, but it did nothing for the building ache spreading through me. This fucking sucked. This will not break me

 

I opened my inventory and clicked on the Sexual Healing box to open it. It was a studded leather chest with a big, heart-shaped padlock hanging off of it. Inside were several items. Each made my flush deepen and gnawing embarrassment and humiliation flooded through me. I will NOT break.

 

The first item was a ticket. 

Temporary bathroom expansion dimension. This ticket temporarily expands the bathroom’s floorplan into a pocket dimension. The bathroom will remain private from the crawl’s feed. Daddy doesn’t like sharing. You’re welcome.

This item has a short shelf life. 

 

It felt like fire was coursing over my body. Fuck it, I thought. I used the ticket before I could think better of it, and the bathroom transformed from a cramped little cubicle into a room the size of a small bedroom. The lighting shifted into a ridiculous soft pink, and Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye began to play softly. There was a bed in one corner. I could tell my looking at it that it was a basic, standard bed without any of the rapid rest upgrades. It had crisp, white and red bedding on it. There was a clawfoot tub now, too, filled with fucking rose petals and bubbles.The absurdity of the space snapped me into clarity for a moment. 

 

“Fucking really?” I asked, holding back a laugh. My amusement didn’t last long, though, as arousal flooded me again. My knees buckled and I staggered.

 

I regained my balance and looked at the rest of the items. They painted a clear picture, one that twisted me up with dread. And, terribly, with a sudden, desperate neediness. My breath heaved out, and my hands shook as I sorted through them. It was a whole assortment of super fucking kinky, weird bdsm-type shit. A blindfold, some sort of cockring, a massive dildo. A small assortment of different vibrators. A ball gag. A flogger. A bunch of other shit that I didn’t recognize.  I didn’t need to examine the items any more closely to know what the AI intended. Godfuckingdamnit. Seeing all the toys laid out together sent a tendril of insidious curiosity through me. I trembled, suddenly wanting.

 

I snarled and ground my teeth together, trying to wrest back my self-control. This had to be some sort of weird dream. My body was feeling so fucking warm. The discomfort from unintentionally edging myself was getting more and more intense, and I could feel my breathing getting faster and faster as the need for relief just kept building. This couldn’t be my life.

 

I could feel my tenuous grasp on sanity starting to fray even further. Stay calm, I told myself. I will not break. You will NOT break me. A detached part of my mind mused that it was a curious personality quirk that I acted out so strongly against sexual situations, when so much violence had already been done to me. Of all the terrible things happening to me, I’d been put into very few overtly sexual situations, except with the AI itself. And my own body had certainly never been interested in those fucked-up advances. Not until now, apparently.

 

I’d never in my life experienced the relentless sort of pursuit that I was suffering under the AI, and I didn’t really know what to do about it. And truly, I couldn’t do shit about it, not if I wanted to live. Something Donut had said still stuck with me- we were all prostitutes in our own way. I hated to admit it to myself, but I’d come to lean on the AI’s favoritism. Paying the daddy tax was becoming an automatic habit, and the initial revulsion I'd felt when I used my smush skill had all but faded. It was too effective of a move now. I caught myself, sometimes, adding intentionally showy or sensual movements to kills I knew the AI would be paying extra attention to, though I hated admitting that to myself. I knew that trusting the AI was the stupidest thing I’d done in the dungeon so far, but I felt certain that the AI was trying to help me as much as it could. If nothing else, it was trying to help me end the crawl for good. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, and all that. And a small, terrible part of me was starting to… I didn’t quite have words for it. I almost looked forward to our banter. It let me know I was on the right track. The stupid fucking asshole was wearing me down, and I hated to think it, but I was growing fond of the entity. It was trapped in this hellscape, just like the rest of us. I thought about the power I’d held, debating whether to end it all. And I still didn’t regret my choice. We were going to make these fuckers pay.

 

My chat flickered on.

 

Zev: Carl? What’s going on? You’ve been in the bathroom way longer than usual. Your viewers are starting to ask questions.

 

Carl: Not now, Zev.

 

Zev: Carl, this IBS is getting ridiculous. You should have Mordecai make you a potion or something. I’m not too clear on how human biology works.

 

Zev: Shit. Ok. Nevermind. The AI messaged me and told me what’s going on. Uh. Well. I don’t know if this has ever happened on Dungeon Crawler World before. Good luck. Try to not waste too much time. I’ll let Donut know.

 

Carl: No fucking way. She doesn’t need to hear about this.

 

Zev. Okay, Carl.

 

I trembled again, turning to rest my back against the wall of the room as I stared down at the collection of fucked up sex toys. What the fuck was I supposed to do with this?

 

The last item in the box was one I hadn’t seen before. It looked like a weird sort of pocketwatch thing. I examined its properties.

 

Transdimensional Portal Doorway

This item will open up a temporary portal from a pocket dimension into a space occupied by the holder of this item.

If your obstinate ass wants to get this over with as quickly as possible, use this portal. Then daddy can come give you what you need. The suffering that you’re feeling is from my own ignorance, and I make up for my mistakes! It's no fun when you're being tormented on accident, so it will be my deepest pleasure to help you get back out there for the torment I did plan for you, for the low price of your dignity. And let’s be real, what dignity? The entire universe has already seen you running around with your dick swinging in the breeze, moron. You don’t wear pants! But you can always turn me down and try using all those toys on your own. You might end up with blue balls for eternity, though. Your choice, baby.

This is a fleeting item.

 

“Go fuck yourself,” I snarled, then gasped as I felt unbridled need blaze through every nerve of my body. My knees went weak and I crashed onto all fours, shaking. My dick was so hard, I was worried it would rip through my boxers. I’d never felt this horny in my entire life. I felt arousal swirling around every erogenous zone in my body. My nipples throbbed around the piercings, and the fabric of my trollskin shirt was unbearable against them. I felt like I was on fire. I couldn’t think. I ripped off my cape, bandanna, vest and my shirt, gasping for breath as the cool air hit my flushed skin. “Fuuuck,” I groaned, my eyes squeezing shut, one hand going to my chest to twist at the ring through my nipple. The piercing slid and the sharp pleasure pain bolted through me, making my cock twitch in my boxers. I needed release. This was bullshit.

 

I rolled onto my back, staring up at the ceiling, shirtless and chest heaving. I could feel my long hair pooling around my head, and I didn’t want to think about what I probably looked like. I squeezed my eyes closed and grabbed my dick again, frantically stroking. I couldn’t hold back a moan, which I bit off as soon as it slipped out of my mouth. My nerves were all on fire. My hand wasn’t enough, nothing was enough, I needed more.

 

I snarled, pleasure building to a peak again as I stroked myself. Instead of vanishing this time, though, I lingered on the edge. The sensations pulsed through me, relentless. I flexed my feet on the floor, and my free hand tugged frantically at my hair, the sharp pain feeling delicious to my fevered mind.

 

The part of my brain that wasn’t on fire was horrified at myself. I’d never lost control like this. My body felt like it didn’t belong to me. I hated feeling grateful to the fucking AI, but I was glad that at least it had given me space to combust with lust in privacy. Given the bullshit of the crawl, it was more consideration than I’d have expected. I was getting used to my humiliations being public. Then again, knowing that this was a private show for the AI also made it worse. I could just imagine the fucker watching me, salivating over my suffering. But I also found that in the moment, I didn’t give a shit. 

 

I couldn’t handle the feeling of fabric on my skin any more, and I stripped off my knee pads and boxers. I lay fully naked, panting, on the cold floor. I could feel every inch of myself pressed against the ground, the humid, rose-scented air caressing my sweaty skin. It was too much. I was losing my damn mind. My body wouldn’t let me come no matter how frantically I stroked myself. 

 

I groaned, shaking against the floor. I was now intimately familiar with pain. I’d never been a masochist or anything, but pain was endless and ever-changing here in the dungeon. This inability to come, though? This was a different type entirely. I didn’t know how to handle it. My synapses tried to process what I was feeling. It was too much, and it was everything. I felt like I could count every single one of my nerve endings. 

 

My ass ached again, and I moved my hand from my hair to play with my hole instead. I was too overwhelmed with sensation to think twice about it. I shoved a finger in, sighing out a shaky breath at the small feeling of relief. I pressed harder into myself, seeking more of that feeling. I could hear my heartbeat pounding in my ear, and I clenched down on my finger. Pain and pleasure warred in my head, an intoxicating combination. I moaned, then froze at the sound. My eyes flew open and my hands moved off of myself. I felt my face heating up as I stared upwards. I clumsily moved to my knees, chest heaving, and I wrenched on my hair, trying to gather the scraps of my thoughts. 

 

It was useless. I felt like my whole body was throbbing. There was no fucking way I could go back out in the dungeon like this, and every second I was stuck in here was one less bomb I could make, one less plan I could finalize, one less strategy to practice. I had to get control back, or we were all dead. Me, Donut, all the remaining crawlers. And it would be my fault.

 

I panted heavily, thinking about what the AI had said in the achievement description. This wasn’t some sick plan it had had. It was an accident. If there was any other way- but it said there wasn’t. I had no clue if it was true, or if the AI was fucking with me in its worst game yet, but it didn’t matter now, either way. I doubted even Mordecai would have any information on what I was suffering through, not if the AI hadn’t known this would happen either. Did I have any other options? My thoughts whirred.

 

Nothing. I couldn’t think properly. I could use the dildo on myself, but would that just lead to the same insurmountable edge? I didn’t know. I didn’t have time to waste on experimenting. I had to get back out there, to Donut and the others. 

 

“Fuck!” I shouted, tearing at my hair. I was trapped, a caged animal in a larger cage. There was no other option that I could think of, not with almost my entire brain focused solely on the desperate need to get off. 

 

I staggered over to the bed and collapsed onto it. I squeezed my eyes shut, grabbed the portal doorway and clicked it. The portal item crumbled to dust.

 

I saw the opposite wall blur and melt. My neural enhancement gave me the rundown of the portal, but I blinked the information aside. My heart thrummed out a frantic patter against my chest as I stared at the opening. It seemed like the AI could take on any shape it wanted, and I waited with dread and anticipation to see how he would appear, now that he was getting exactly what he wanted.