Chapter Text
The Jedi Temple was buzzing with activity. In the midst of the Clone Wars, it always was. The sounds of Venators in Coruscant’s atmosphere, the humming of lightsabers, the buzzing of holoprojectors with bad signals as Jedi called from Outer Rim planets. It never failed to remind you of war.
Yourself and Obi-Wan were walking to the Temple hangar as you readied yourself for your next mission. Your shoulders were slumped as you walked, rucksack dangling from one shoulder. Obi-Wan, on the other hand, looked completely poised, representing what civilians thought a ‘good and perfect’ Jedi should look like.
“Sometimes I wonder what the Council thinks of me when I get sent on these missions,” you pondered. “Do they think I'm so incompetent that they find it funny to constantly send me on reconnaissance missions?”
“Actually, Y/N, recon happens to be a very important part of war and without it, we’d have no time to prepare for battle,” Obi-Wan replied, a forced neutral tone in his voice. “Without you taking the majority of them, the Republic would stand no chance at winning.”
You were getting irritated. Of course, Jedi weren’t allowed to be irritated. But you and Obi-Wan were both Generals, both of the same ranking and both leaders of your own clone battalions. However he was always sent on the missions you signed up for, leaving you to be assigned those which you thought to be completely and utterly boring.
Obviously, they weren’t boring. Without them, any attempts by the GAR to progress the war would end in failure. You were just blinded by slightly un-Jedi-like feelings right now. Several un-Jedi-like feelings. You were angry, mostly at the Council, a little bit at Obi-Wan. But you were also…excited? It wasn’t often that you were sent on missions with Obi-Wan in particular, and you always loved being partnered with him. Right now it was the only thing that made the thought of this mission bearable. Still, your feelings of disgruntlement overrode any feelings you might have had towards Obi-Wan, and so your thoughts returned to the mission.
You deserved some involvement in a large battle, you thought. The only full scale battle you’d been involved in was the First Battle of Geonosis, where you’d put so much determination into fighting that even Yoda had complemented your skills.
“Fought gallantly, you did. Impressive skill, you have,” he’d said with a proud expression on his face.
Clearly the thought didn’t carry through to now.
“Well they must think I’m doing a terrible job if I now have a standard recon with you and Anakin,” you said quietly. You knew this was a lie, and you knew that this would hurt Obi-Wan’s feelings. Your role was important, but the anger that had been bubbling under your skin for months now was beginning to emerge.
He stopped walking and crossed his arms. You felt like you were six years old again, being lectured by a Jedi Master for speaking out of turn.
“Stop this negativity, Y/N. You’re a good fighter, everyone knows this. But this mission could have a defining role in ending the war, and perhaps the battle will start earlier than anticipated. The Council simply wants to make sure all grounds are covered.”
You took a moment to think. You were still annoyed that the Council may have thought you were even the slightest bit incompetent. But you knew Obi-Wan was right. Too much time and money had been put into fighting. You knew the Jedi were tired. Especially Obi-Wan. You saw it in his eyes when he arrived back at the Temple after a mission. Or when you sat with him, Anakin, and Ahsoka for dinner and he simply stared down into his food like even the thought of eating reminded him of sitting in a camp, eating ration bars, not knowing when the fighting would end.
Because nobody knew. And if you could help to end the war with your recon, then that is what you would do.
Just then, you heard footsteps next to you. You turned around to see Anakin, holding his own bag, with a small smile on his face.
“Everything alright?” he asked.
“Everything is fine,” both you and Obi-Wan spoke simultaneously.
Anakin raised one of his eyebrows in question, clearly not believing you.
He shrugged, before nonchalantly stating: “Whatever you say, Masters.”
And so you set off for what the three of you had presumed to be a normal mission.
How wrong you were.
*****
Several hours later, you arrived on Sovath, a small planet but nonetheless aligned with the Separatists. Anakin made sure to land your ship a good distance away from the facility you were assigned to do recon on, knowing there was a possibility that it would be heavily guarded.
The three of you disembarked the ship, taking in your surroundings. Sovath was damp, green, and somewhere that wouldn’t be particularly appealing to the regular civilian.
You let out a huff. You hated being out in the rain. Why couldn’t you be sent to a warm planet for once?
Suddenly, Obi-Wan’s voice interrupted your thoughts. “Right. Let us go over the plan one more time.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a holoprojector, pressing a button so a map of the facility appeared.
“We will all avoid the main entrance. It’s where we can assume the most droids will be. Anakin will enter through the chimney in the east wing and conduct his assessment there. Y/N and I will enter through this,” he pointed to a region at the back of the projected building, “entrance where she will proceed to the cellar and I will investigate the north wing. Once we have cleared the building, exit as fast and silently as you can, and we’ll meet back at the ship. Keep your comlinks on at all times in case we find trouble and please try not to be detected. We just want to know what is happening on Sovath before we head into a full-scale battle. Is that clear?”
You nodded at him.
You watched Anakin make the first move, heading towards the facility, before Obi-Wan turned to face you.
“Come on, let's get this over with,” he said in a hushed tone.
You and Obi-Wan walked in a comfortable silence, with him leading. Although he was perfectly quiet, you could feel his uneasiness through his Force signature, and no doubt he could feel the same with yours. You both continued to trudge through the rain and the dense forests of Sovath towards the large facility, truly wishing you were anywhere but there.
As you eventually neared the building, Obi-Wan slowed his walking and eventually came to a halt, holding his hand up to signal something important.
“We’re close. Are you ready?”
Were you ready? You didn’t know. But you didn’t want to give him a reason to lecture you on your feelings of anxiety when you knew he was suffering with his own, so you just nodded again.
He took a deep breath and his eyes momentarily fluttered shut.
“I sense Anakin is inside. We should follow his example before we get caught lingering,” he said in a voice which you’d often teased him about, the one you called his ‘meditating voice’.
But there was no time for joking right now.
“You’re right. Let's go.” As Obi-Wan moved towards the back entrance, you felt yourself become distracted as your eyes lingered on him. You knew you should be focused on the mission, but you were worried. Realistically, there was no reason to be, considering to him, this mission was as easy as swinging a lightsaber, but the idea of being without him downright scared you.
You tried to shake off these thoughts, remembering just how skilled this man was, how dedicated to surviving he was, and pushed forward.
When you came to the entrance, it was deserted. The pair of you had anticipated this in your plans, but it was strange all the same.
Obi-Wan opened the door quickly and quietly, holding it open for you to enter.
“Alright. This is where we split up. Remember you have your-”
“Comlink. I know,” you cut him off.
“Y/N. I’m being serious. This is recon, we don’t want anything to happen to make this dissolve into anything more than recon. But I should add, if you feel that anything is wrong, or if you sense a trap, do not hesitate to contact me. Yes, the mission is important, but so is your life. Am I clear?”
You stared at him.
Did Obi-Wan just admit feelings of attachment? What else could he mean by those words? Even if he was just being friendly, he’d openly admitted that he cared about you.
You were brought back to the reality of the situation as Obi-Wan broke up the concerns swirling in your head.
“Y/N? What’s wrong? Can you sense something?” he queried, placing a tentative hand on your shoulder as you stared into his eyes.
“Sorry. I’m fine. Just thinking about the mission. I promise I’ll keep in touch.”
Obi-Wan seemed to outwardly accept his, although it was clear that his thoughts lingered on what had just happened. He turned to move towards the corridor towards the north wing before you softly called his name. He inclined his head towards you.
“Yes?”
“Be safe…please.”
“You don’t have to worry about me, darling.”
And with that, he walked away.
*****
You kept your footsteps light as you headed to the cellar. Before long, you found the stairs to take you down to whatever was hiding down there. Looking at the door to the staircase, you felt a growing restlessness within the Force, which made you worry about the two other men inside the building.
They’re fine, you told yourself. They’re grown men, Jedi even, they can handle themselves.
Ignoring the conflict in your mind, you took a deep breath, pulled your lightsaber off your utility belt, and crept down the stairs.
Halfway down, you heard Anakin’s voice crackle through your comlink.
Apparently the Force was determined to make you check on them.
“The east wing is clear. I’m going to search the central hall. Over.”
Obi-Wan’s smooth voice made an appearance. “Good. I’m nearly in the north wing. Y/N, how is it going down there?”
“Everything is fine at the moment,” you replied. “I’m making my way down the stairs now. It’s dark, but currently clear.”
“Excellent. Let us hope it stays that way.” With that, you were met with silence once again.
One that made you very uncomfortable.
Finally reaching the bottom of the stairs, you realised just how large this place was. The entrance to the stairs was fairly close to the entrance you and Obi-Wan had entered from, so you hadn’t had the time to consider the size of the building and its correlation to its importance.
But this floor?
You felt as though it made the vast halls of the Jedi Temple look small.
Once again centring your thoughts on the mission, you took the time to recount the plan in your head, sticking to what Obi-Wan had said earlier.
“Okay. Light steps. Clear all the rooms down here. Don’t get caught,” you whispered to yourself. You’d done recon so many times, this time couldn’t be any different. Only you were particularly glad to have Obi-Wan and Anakin checking the rest of the building. The idea of doing it all yourself made you shiver.
The first section of the cellar was the easiest to clear. It was filled with rooms full of boxes, supply cupboards and what appeared to be spare parts.
You stepped into an immensely dark room, with no lights, no windows, and no life forms.
None you could sense through the Force, anyway.
So it was a shame you couldn’t sense the hundreds of battle droids also in the room with you.
You ignited your lightsaber, the blue hue finally showing what was being hidden in this facility.
It was storage, that’s why you couldn’t feel any life forms here with you. Battle droids were concealed, probably for a large-scale invasion of a planet close to Sovath.
Then:
The lights turned on, and so did the droids.
Panicking, you tried to comm both Obi-Wan and Anakin. But of course, you were underground. And there was no signal.
The first droids began to identify you in the room with them.
“Jedi!” one of their robotic voices yelled. “Get them!”
You tried to run as fast as you could towards the stairs, only to trip on something. Your lightsaber extinguished as it flew out your hand, rolling away from you.
There’s nothing on the floor, what could you kriffing trip on? you screamed in your head.
You looked down.
There was no way this day could get worse.
But the thermal detonators that littered the floor and made you fall certainly could.
You tried to Force-push them away, but it was too late. Everything moved so fast. Too fast.
The detonator which a droid had thrown next to your lightsaber exploded, blasting it into several hundreds of pieces. You watched the blue of your kyber crystal light up before it shattered.
Your saber. Your lightsaber. The one you’d built when you were eight. The one you’d promised your Master that you’d take good care of. In fact, you promised you would never lose or break it.
Your lightsaber is your life, they’d said. And now it was gone.
Staring at the remains in shock, it took a number of seconds for your brain to process the hundreds of blasters pointing at you.
This was it. This was how you’d die.
Especially when you felt the first blaster bolt hit your left shin. And when the second one hit your ribs. And when the third one hit—
Suddenly you were pulled back by a pair of strong arms, being dragged away from the droids. Your mind was scrambled. You couldn’t define what was going on around you. All you could think about was the pain in your body and your broken lightsaber.
What a failure of a Jedi you were.
Oh how you wanted to tell Obi-Wan how wrong he was for his earlier comment. ‘You’re a good fighter, everyone knows this’. A good fighter wouldn’t go into shock at the sight of their lightsaber being destroyed. A good fighter wouldn’t fall over a karking thermal detonator trying to escape from battle droids.
But you did. And Obi-Wan would never fail to try and change your mind.
*****
You couldn’t tell how much time had passed. You’d felt yourself be lifted up and held in the same strong arms that dragged you away, giving you some semblance of comfort whilst your head struggled to figure out what had truly just happened.
“Stay with me, Y/N!” you heard a faraway voice shout. “Anakin, where are you? Please tell me you made it back to the ship?!” the voice cried out with urgency.
“I’m on my way. R2 is locking onto your coordinates now, we’re almost there, I promise.”
Your head became fuzzy, and you were finding it difficult to keep your eyes open. But still, you found the strength to lift your head to look into the eyes of the person carrying you.
You’d recognise those cerulean eyes anywhere.
Obi-Wan.
“You’re okay! We’re okay! Anakin is almost here and we're going to get you home and safe, alright? I-kriff!-you have to stay awake! Do not leave me sweetheart, I won’t let you leave me!”
You couldn’t hear his words, but you could definitely feel the warmth of his tears on your face.
You felt safe.
So you closed your eyes.