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Mere nights before everything went wrong, Blair and Sadie were tucked away in one of the many hidden nooks in the palace, seated on a couch and pressed together like matching puzzle pieces. Blair took her beloved’s hand, leaned in close, and grinned, saying: “That Braxton fellow likes you.”
Sadie squeaked. “Really?” she said, her face flushing at once.
Blair wasn’t often a good judge of people’s thoughts and feelings- usually it was Sadie who was sly and observant about things like that. They had spent a childhood together with Sadie leaning in close and whispering, don’t mind what your father says about looking them straight in the eyes, Blair, it’s not worth the trouble. The bridge of their nose should work fine, or their eyebrows- nobody will notice the difference, promise, or, she’s obviously lying, can’t you tell? or, remember to smile- goodness, not like that, you’ll frighten him!
So this- this rare moment of triumph, when Blair had noticed the matter with Braxton quicker than clever, brilliant Sadie- was something worth preening over. Blair felt especially smug that Sadie seemed flustered and faintly pleased about the news- that’s two things she’s correct about; two points won in the game of confusing social nonsense. Blair was getting so good at this.
Still preening a little, Blair said, “Braxton seems alright, you know. He’s a nice enough boy.”
Sadie nodded meekly.
“You could marry him.”
Blair had thought that Sadie would remain shyly pleased at the suggestion, or perhaps she would become more flustered than ever before. But instead, Sadie’s face crumpled.
“Sweetheart,” Blair said at once, her heart dropping at Sadie’s suddenly-miserable face. “Sadie, what’s the matter with you?”
“You don’t understand,” said Sadie. “I could not. I could never. I would never. Braxton and I… we aren’t like you and the princes, Blair,” said Sadie, sounding strangely guilty. “Braxton’s my friend and I… I like him, Blair, really I do. And if I let this go on then I might fall in love with him.”
Sadie looked terribly distressed, and Blair hadn’t the faintest clue why.
Two young ladies of their status had to be married, after all, and they certainly couldn’t marry each other no matter how much either of them wanted it. Sadie knew this as well as Blair- perhaps even better. Blair had a father who adored and spoiled her, and though he certainly wanted her to marry as a proper lady should, he would almost certainly cave if she dug her heels in hard enough about being a spinster. Sadie’s family was far more strict with her and would begin pestering her soon.
Blair, of course, wanted to marry for ambition- she had put in so much work hounding after those two princes and she was hoping it would pay off- but since Sadie’s dreams were never quite so lofty, Blair had always privately hoped that she would marry someone she loved.
“Yes, and?” Blair asked, tone blithe.
“What on earth do you mean, yes, and? I-I don’t want to be unfaithful to you, Blair!”
Aha! So that’s what this is.
Blair’s mouth twitched as she tried to resist a smile.
“So you’re saying,” she began coyly, “that if you grow to love this Braxton fellow, you’ll start to love me less?”
Affronted, Sadie straightened at once, eyes flashing with anger. “Of course not!” she cried, deeply insulted. “That’s-“
“-ridiculous, I know,” Blair said, then yawned wide. “Excuse me. Anyway, I don’t see any problems here. If I know about your boy and give you my encouragement, only a fool would call you unfaithful.”
Sadie’s mouth was open in a round, shocked ‘o’. Her jaw closed with a little click, and she was silent for a moment before whispering, “he’s not my boy.”
“Not yet, anyways,” said Blair, and yawned again when Sadie sputtered indignantly. Her blinks were growing long and heavy. “Think about asking him to a few dances and then see what happens. Perhaps you’ll love him, perhaps you won’t. But we’ve known him a while now and he seems like a nice boy. I think he has a real shot of making you happy, and of course there’s nothing more important than that. Never deny yourself any happiness, beloved. Promise me that.”
Sadie was smiling now, soft and lovely. “Sometimes,” she murmured, “I forget how odd you are, darling.”
In the nights to come, Sadie will have her dances with the boy she fancied, the first shy, halting steps into what could be love. She will smile at the boy that one day could be hers, thrilled and apprehensive all at once.
And every night, as she always does, Sadie will climb onto whatever seat Blair has decided to lounge on, making herself comfortable while steadfastly ignoring Blair’s many reedy complaints about being jostled or shoved. They will lean into each other, shoulder to shoulder like puzzle pieces, and Sadie’s laugh will drown out the hummingbird flutter of Blair’s heart.
At night, they will both dream of the same thing: a lovely future spent at their other half’s side.
-
The night after everything goes wrong, Blair’s grief becomes a living thing. A hollow-eyed beast with fangs to pierce her heart and rip it to shreds this night and then the next, and then the next, forever. Blair realizes, in a distant sort of way, that she has never really known pain before. She thinks that this pain, which she can never hope to describe in words, should kill her.
Braxton is approaching her. She catches a shine in his soft brown eyes before she looks up to his forehead, just the way Sadie had taught her.
“Blair, I am so sorry,” he starts.
Blair could not speak. But if she could, she would snap, stop that at once. What are you doing? It is not your fault.
“I know it’s not the same,” Braxton says, “but I- we all miss her. So I thought- I thought you might… I know I didn’t love her the way you did, but-”
“Shut up,” Blair rasps, “shut up.”
Blair reaches up and forcefully yanks him into a hug. This boy had been Sadie’s friend. He had always been kind to her beloved, and that was more than enough for Blair.
She feels him stiffen, then relax, and then there are broad arms gently looping around her back. She buries her face into Braxton’s shoulder and starts to cry.
“I h-hate them,” she sobs, stammering through gasps until rage hardens her words into a snarl. “I hate them.”
“I know. Blair, I know.”
“I’ll kill them.” It was scarcely a whisper, her icy cold hiss, but Braxton heard. “I don’t care that Kai is the prince. I’ll kill him and his little girlfriend both.”
“Oh, Blair,” Braxton said softly. “You don’t mean that.”
Blair leaned into Braxton’s shoulder until her sobs died into sniffles, and was silent for the rest of the night.
-
Years after everything went wrong, Blair returned to the palace that had once been her home. Her beloved was not avenged- and never would be. Blair’s face was halved, the same way she felt her heart was halved, with one side scarred and only one eye that could still see.
Blair stops before the grave she has been too afraid to see for years, and says aloud: “Hello, old friend.”
The cold wind blew. Soon, there would be snow.
“Did I ever tell you what I promised, after Sadie died?” She tried to keep her voice steady, and failed. It died into a faint, crackling warble. “When I saw how Sadie died, when I saw who killed her, I promised… I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.”
She sank to her knees and sat. It was a while before she could continue.
“I made a promise. I promised that I would give anything to watch her killers die. Anything. Anything at all. I made that promise, but I never… I swear, Braxton,” she rasped, “I never meant for it to be you.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”