Chapter Text
Zanka woke up with his mouth tasting like metal, regret, and really bad decisions.
He cracked his eyes open and immediately regretted it. The light in the room stringing his eyes. Riyo was leaning over him, wearing the face of someone who was seriously questioning her entire career.
“You’re awake,” she said, voice flat. “Unfortunately.”
Zanka realized they were back in his room. He groaned and shoved himself up, one hand scrubbing at his face. “Ugh. What the hell happened? Feels like I puked up my guts.”
Riyo sighed. “You did. Multiple times. We had to flush out the poison that raider with the claws pumped into you. It was a whole mess.”
“Poison?” Zanka mumbled. A dull throb pulsed behind his eyes as he squinted. “Jabber? Wait, I was fighting Jabber!” The name made his head pound harder. He tried to pull the memory back, but everything after the yelling and the sharp sting just blurred together, like someone had yanked the film out of his brain and stomped on it.
Riyo nodded. “Yeah, that guy. He got you pretty good. I’m surprised you made it,” she said, deadpan.
Zanka groaned again and pressed his palm against his forehead. “Fuck… why does it feel like he beat me with my own skull?”
Riyo let out another sigh, the kind that suggested she wished he had stayed unconscious. “Because he nearly did.”
Zanka dragged his hand down his face and froze.
There, sitting snug on his right ring finger, was… a ring.
Not just any ring. It was Jabber’s.
Zanka stared at his hand, confusion turning fast into pure horror.
“What the… Why is Jabber’s ring on my finger?” His voice cracked. “Riyo, why the hell is Jabber’s ring on my finger!?”
He shot up from the bed so fast the room spun hard to the left. The sudden move sent a brutal wave of dizziness slamming through his skull, but he forced himself steady anyway. He grabbed at the ring and yanked hard, trying to rip it off.
Big mistake.
The ring clicked. Inner blades snapped open like teeth and bit straight into his skin.
Zanka let out a raw, furious scream as the metal dragged and tore at his finger. Pain flared hot up his hand. Blood welled up around the edges where it had latched on tight.
“Ow! Fuck! What the hell is this piece of shit?” He clutched his injured hand, eyes wide. “It latched onto me! Why does he even have a death trap for jewelry? And why the fuck is this on me?!”
Riyo watched the whole thing with the tired patience of someone who wanted nothing to do with this mess. She pinched the bridge of her nose like she could squeeze the stupidity out of the air.
“Zanka, please. It can’t be that hard to remove a ring.”
“It’s not coming off!” he hissed through his teeth. He cradled his torn finger like it might explode any second. “I’m serious. And it’s Jabber’s ring. On my ring finger! This is some deranged territory-marking bullshit!”
“I don’t care whose ring it is or what finger it’s on,” she said flatly. “Stop screaming and just take it off.”
“I’m telling you I can’t—”
The door slammed open in the middle of his meltdown. Enjin poked his head in first, eyebrows raised. “What’s he’s harping about this time Riyo? ” Then he paused, taking in the scene. “Oh. He’s upright. That’s new.” he teased.
Behind him, a couple others crowded in, curious and wondering what the commotion was all about.
Zanka stiffened like a kid caught stealing cookies. He immediately shoved his hand with his injured finger behind his back. “There’s nothing wrong. Everything’s fine. Go away.”
Enjin raised one eyebrow. “Uh-huh. Then why is there blood dripping onto the floor?”
Zanka turned behind him and looked down. Sure enough. Drip. Drip. Drip.
“Dammit, Riyo,” he whispered urgently, turning to her with a desperate look. “Help me. Please. Don’t leave me alone with these idiots.”
Riyo made an exasperated noise and actually started walking toward the door. “I’m leaving. I don’t want any part of this.”
"No—Riyo—wait!" Zanka stumbled after her, "You're the only one with functioning brain cells! Get this guillotine off me!"
Enjin stepped in front of him, blocking his path before leaning slightly to the side, a sinister, catlike smile curling across his face. “What are you hiding, Zanka?”
"Nothing!"
Someone snagged his elbow. The hand swung into view.
The room exploded.
"Is that what I think it is?!"
"On the ring finger?!"
"Did you elope or something recently?! When did this happen?!”
Zanka looked like he was about to spontaneously combust. "Shut up. All of you. This isn’t funny!”
They kept laughing.
Riyo didn’t. She just sighed, long and tired, and decided to return back to Zanka to help him anyway. “Move,” she said. She pushed past as the others wheezed with laughter. “ I’ll help you alright? I feel like if I don’t you’re going to lose a finger out of sheer panic.”
Zanka latched onto her sleeve like she was the last lifeboat on a sinking ship. “Thank you. Thank you. I swear I will repay you.”
She shot him a look. “You better.”
─────────────── ✦ ───────────────
(earlier, at the fight)
The world was already tilting sideways when Zanka hit the ground.
The poison spread fast. It gnawed through him leaving a burning, buzzing pain through his nerves like an electricity jammed into his bloodstream. He twitched and clawed at the dirt. His vision smeared into color and streaks of light.
The culprit Jabber crouched beside him, his chin propped on his palm. He watched Zanka writhe with the fascination of a scientist observing a rare species.
Or a gremlin watching his new favorite toy break.
“Ohhh~, look at you,” Jabber cooed. His eyes went wide with delight. “You’re really feeling it, huh?”
Zanka tried to answer, but the words came out tangled. A half laugh, half groan. He wasn’t even sure what he was trying to say. Something like get away from me, or I’m going to kill you, or possibly why does the sky look like soup?
Jabber giggled softly. He was high too, though nowhere near as badly as Zanka. After years of injecting himself with his own toxins and experimenting on himself had built up his tolerance, but his pupils were still blown wide, his eyes dark and hazy with it. The drugs only seemed to make his obsession with Zanka burn hotter until he was staring at him like some hopeless, lovestruck teenager completely intoxicated by the sight of him.
"You don't even know what you're saying," Jabber teased, leaning in as he poked Zanka's cheek. His voice dropped lower. "But you're saying it straight to me. Look at us bonding like this. We got chemistry, baby. We always did, you know."
Zanka twitched again. A wild, delirious grin flickered over his face from the poison high. Then he blinked unevenly. “Wh– What? I don’t. My teeth feel like they’re melting.”
Jabber laughed, delighted. “God, you’re adorable like this. Who knew getting poisoned was your peak look?”
He reached out and patted Zanka’s cheek with a gentleness that was frankly deranged given the circumstances. Zanka twitched again. His eyes rolled back for a second before refocusing in a completely wrong direction.
Zanka made a sound somewhere between a wheeze and a laugh.
Then he tried to sit up, failed spectacularly, and thudded back into the dirt.
“Yeaaahh -ha-s ’fine, I’m good,” he slurred. He pointed at absolutely nothing. “Think. I think the ground moved though. Rude. Wanna fight the ground.”
Jabber clasped both hands against his cheek like he was watching a romance scene. Then something in his brain snapped, rebooted, and came back wearing a flower crown. He leaned closer to Zanka. His pupils dilated even more if that was possible then he clasped his hands together in pure infatuation. “I love this. I love this. Look at you. You’re perfect.”
Zanka made a noise that was halfway between a laugh and a dying hiccup.
“That’s it,” Jabber declared proudly. “I’m marrying you.”
Zanka blinked at him again. His pupils were tiny pinpricks.
“Mar...ry? Who?”
“You, obviously!” Jabber poked his forehead. “Don’t worry, babe, I’m handling the paperwork. And the vows. And the kidnapping. You’re doing great.”
Zanka giggled. Actually giggled.
That was it. Jabber fell headfirst into infatuation. This boy Zanka was it!
“I’m marrying you,” Jabber announced again, like repeating it enough times would make it undeniable truth.
He grabbed Zanka by the collar and dragged him halfway upright before yanking the ring off his own left hand. Without hesitation, he shoved it onto Zanka’s right ring finger. The second it clicked into place, the mechanism activated with a soft metallic snap, locking itself tight around its new owner. Tiny hidden blades shifted beneath the metal, primed to spring out if anyone tried to force it off.
“And we’re having four kids,” Jabber continued with absolute conviction, pupils blown wide and voice bright with manic excitement. “I don’t know how, I don’t care how. We’ll figure it out.” He grinned at him, delirious and completely serious all at once. “Science is amazing.”
Zanka’s head rolled back. “Four...? Tha’s... too many lunches to pack.”
Jabber beamed.
“OMG he’s thinking about our children- This man loves me!” He grabbed Zanka under the arms and started dragging him across the ground, humming triumphantly. Zanka’s heels scraped trenches in the dirt as he laughed deliriously, totally useless.
“My man! My man! My man!” Jabber crowed to the sky, smiling like a lunatic. “He said yes. Well, kinda. But it counts!”
And then. BANG
Was that a gunshot?
Jabber looked down at his leg the moment he felt something tear through it. The sight of the bullet wound made him shriek, not out of pain, but sheer offended disbelief, like reality itself had personally insulted him. His leg buckled beneath him anyway, forcing him to stumble despite the outrage written all over his face.
Riyo stood behind them, arm extended, gun smoking, expression flat as a dead planet.
“Put. Him. Down,” she said.
Jabber toppled sideways, still clutching Zanka, still grinning like a lunatic even with a bullet in his leg.
“Rude!” he yelled from the ground. “We were having a moment!”
Riyo got close enough to grab Zanka and haul him over her shoulder like he weighed nothing but a sack of wet noodles, completely ignoring his struggling and angry protests. “Stop squirming,” she snapped with a low growl. “We’re leaving before you get yourself killed trying to entertain this raider.”
Zanka, still dizzy and half-delirious, flailed his arms. “Riyo...Wait... My...My... finger it’s...Jabber's... Baby... Kids...”
“Don’t talk,” she snapped. “I’m getting you out of here.”
Behind them, Jabber was on all fours, dragging himself across the dirt like some unholy mix of a cat and a toddler who’d lost a toy. Blood trickled from his leg wound, but he barely noticed. All that mattered was Zanka.
“My man! My man! our four kids!” he screamed, voice cracking. “I need custody! No! Don’t take him! I’m the father!”
Zanka’s eyes went wide. “Custody?”
Riyo didn’t even blink. “Don’t pay attention to him, Zanka.”
Jabber barely slowed down. If anything, he crawled faster, dragging himself across the ground with frantic determination as he reached desperately toward Zanka.
“We can co-parent!” he shouted, voice cracking with panic before spiraling into rushed desperation. “Or wait, no, we can make this work! Don’t take him away from me!” His fingers stretched for him uselessly as he snarled, “He’s mine!”
Jabber’s voice faded behind them as they stumbled toward safety. He kept crawling and screaming about bedtime stories and school supplies like he was assembling the world’s worst fantasy family.
Zanka groaned, trying and failing to lift his head. “Riyo,” he mumbled weakly, words slurring together. “He’s nice… in small doses.”
Riyo shot him a look sharp enough to cut steel. “Small doses? I’ll make sure you get zero doses if you don’t keep your mouth shut.”
Zanka exhaled and closed his eyes as Jabber’s distant, maniacal yells carried on like a horrifying lullaby.
Somewhere deep in his foggy, poisoned brain, a thought stirred. A small, ridiculous thought. Maybe this is the most chaotic thing that’s ever happened to me.
And weirdly, maybe it wasn’t the absolute worst.
─────────────── ✦ ───────────────
After a full round of teasing from everyone, comments ranging from “Congrats on your engagement!” to “When’s the wedding?!”, Zanka finally got a moment of peace.
Riyo couldn't help him get it off and gave up then had sternly instructed him to rest now that the poison was purged from his system, and he was trying. Sort of.
He lay on his back and stared up at the ceiling, though his gaze kept drifting down to his right hand. The damn ring gleamed back at him, silent, innocent-looking, and terrifying.
He didn’t dare touch it. Every nerve in his body screamed that if he did, some unseen mechanism would activate. The tiny blades inside would shred his finger.
He exhaled slowly, as if willing the metal to stop being a trap.
Nope. Still there. Still Jabber’s. Still horrifying.
Zanka didn’t know whether to cry, scream, or start negotiating with the universe for a no-ring clause in life. All he could do was lie there, hand hovering cautiously above his chest, and wonder just how he’d gotten himself into this mess.
He finally felt himself drifting toward sleep. The exhaustion from the poison weighed him down. Just as his eyelids were about to close completely, a faint noise stirred him.
He cracked one eye open and squinted into the dim room. Nothing. Probably just his imagination, he told himself. He let his eyelids fall again.
Then he heard it. Slow, deliberate breathing. it was heavy, close and it felt wrong.
Zanka froze on his back. His heart thudded. The air around him felt charged, almost electric, as if something unseen had slipped silently into the room.
He opened one eye, then the other. His stomach sank. A dark figure loomed over him, just barely outlined in the shadows, staring down with ragged breaths.
The figure’s gaze locked onto him.
And then it spoke.
“Zanka...”
The single word rolled over him like a cold wave. Zanka’s body tensed. Every instinct screamed that he was no longer alone.
Zanka’s heart slammed against his ribs as his mind scrambled. Every horror scenario he’d ever imagined suddenly seemed too tame.
He swallowed and tried to focus on something, anything. That’s when he noticed the shape of the figure. Broad shoulders. Lean, predatory stance. The sharp angles of a face he knew far too well, even in the shadows.
“J-Jabber?” His voice cracked like dry twigs, barely a whisper.
The figure let out a low, pleased chuckle and leaned slightly closer. “There he is,” Jabber murmured. His breathing was still heavy. “My man. You’re Finally awake.”
Zanka’s stomach flipped, equal parts fear and disbelief. “What. What are you—? How did you–? Why are you here?”
Jabber crouched just enough to get closer. His eyes gleamed in the dim light. “You didn’t think I’d let you rest without me checking in, did you? You’re mine, you know. Always have been.”
Zanka froze and stared at him. Every instinct screamed at him to run, but his body refused to cooperate. Whatever poison still lingered in his system had left him weak, heavy, and unsteady. Jabber’s presence alone made the room feel smaller, like the air itself had been pulled tight around them.
Jabber’s grin only widened. “Relax,” he murmured. “I’m not going to hurt you. Just stay still. Let me admire you a little longer.”
Zanka’s mind struggled to keep up. That grin, that sharp, unhinged focus, it was unmistakably Jabber. And yet it made his pulse spike with a mix of fear and disbelief that he couldn’t untangle.
Zanka’s gaze drifted, catching the ring on his finger. The one Jabber had forced onto him earlier. His stomach dropped.
Jabber noticed immediately. “Ah,” he said softly, almost pleased. “Looks good on you don’t you think?”
He brushed Zanka’s hair back with an easy familiarity, then traced a finger along the ring. “Don’t worry. It’s safe. Mostly. Just… try not to pull on it too hard ok? It's very committed.”
Zanka’s breath caught. He wanted to pull away, to say something, to do anything. But his body still wouldn’t obey him, leaving him stuck beneath Jabber’s attention.
“H- how,” he finally managed, voice unsteady. “How did you get in here!?”
Jabber leaned in closer, settling in like he belonged there. “Shh! Keep it down. I have my ways but if you must know through the window,” he said casually. “Quiet and efficient like a ninja.”
Zanka stared at him. “Through my window?”
“Mm-hm,” Jabber replied, draping an arm over him like it was the most natural thing in the world. “Now stop stressing. You’re safe, baby.”
Zanka’s chest tightened. His fear didn’t leave, but something about Jabber’s calm certainty made everything feel even more unreal.
“The ring,” Zanka said carefully, forcing the words out. “What is it?”
Jabber tilted his head, studying it like he was admiring a piece of art. “You mean the blades? Hmm… I guess it keeps things… connected,” he said. “You don’t need to worry about the details.”
Zanka’s eyes widened. “Connected how?”
Jabber only smiled. “Again, don’t think too hard about it. None of that is important.”
Zanka’s voice rose, panic breaking through. “ Jabber, what did you want from me!?”
Then the sound of footsteps suddenly echoed outside the room.
Jabber stiffened. His expression shifted in an instant, alert and sharp. “Shit, well that’s my cue to leave.” then He leaned down quickly and pressed a brief kiss to Zanka’s forehead. “I’ll be back,” he said lightly. “Soon~.”
Before Zanka could respond, Jabber was already moving, slipping out the window with unsettling ease.
The room fell silent.
A second later, Enjin and Riyo rushed in.
“Zanka!” Enjin called. “What happened? Are you alright?”
Zanka lay there, still frozen, staring at the open window where Jabber had vanished.
His mouth opened.
Nothing came out.
He just stared, breathing unevenly, unable to process any of it as the empty night looked back at him.