Archive of Our Own

It was warmer than usual when Yunho drove to the ranch office. The destination was far from his hometown, and he had to wake early to set off on the road. There was nothing in sight but miles of open fields and mountains in the distance. With the windows down, he could smell the scent of cattle and tall sweet grass. The expanse of the fields and farms he passed was large, taking up hundreds of acres for cows, horses, and other livestock. As Yunho drove down the desolate road, he could see the miles of land that all belonged to the local ranchers.

He peered into the rearview mirror to check if there were any cars behind him, but there were none. It was early afternoon, the roads were empty, and he was much too far into rancher territory to see anyone else. Yunho focused back on the road, tapping his fingers along the steering wheel with a rhythm he’d conjured up in his head. His truck was too old for the radio to work, therefore, he had to find another way to entertain himself.

Long straight roads eventually turned into a small town, full of locals who either owned ranches or farms in the area. Some owned the businesses along the streets that made up a few walkable blocks. Yunho turned the truck down a side road that led to the trailer he was looking for. Directly across from a set of abandoned train tracks was the ranch employment office, the same place he worked last summer, and he could only hope the job was available this time too. Lord knew he needed it.

Once he pulled into the dirt lot, he put his truck in park, the rumble of the engine leaving him in silence when he turned the key. A thick cloud of dust kicked up when he drove into the dirt, making it hard for Yunho to see much out of his mirror, but he could just make out a tall figure near the trailer.

After a minute, the cloud settled, giving Yunho a better view of the other man standing near the door. He couldn’t see his face, it was covered by his tan wide brim cowboy hat. He leaned against the wall of the trailer, hands in his pockets, one ankle crossed over the other, with a large green duffel bag at his feet. He didn’t look up despite hearing Yunho’s car pull in, or maybe he did. Perhaps Yunho just didn’t see it himself. Either way, he remained in his spot, not even lifting his head to acknowledge him.

Yunho stepped out of his truck, his boots crunching on the dry dirt below his feet. Even with him standing there, hands tucked in his jeans pockets, the other man didn’t move a muscle. He said nothing, choosing to bite the inside of his cheek and turning his face away from the other. Maybe he saw him as competition, perhaps he didn’t know Brokeback was a two-man job.

He looked down at the watch on his wrist. It was a quarter past 2 pm, and if this man was waiting outside, then it was likely the ranch owner wasn’t there. He resisted the urge to ask the lonesome man if he’d already tried knocking, fearing he didn’t seem like the type to want to talk. With a sigh, Yunho sat with his car door open, the driver's window rolled down to let in the warm breeze.

Summer had just started, but the field behind the trailer was green, the tall grass vibrant in contrast to the blueish-gray hue of the mountains in the background. It was a picturesque landscape, and even Yunho admired the vast scenery, having seen a similar view his entire life. Somehow, he’d never grown tired of seeing those mountains, nor the rolling fields and plains that surrounded them.

When he leaned forward against the open window, he could see the silent man in the reflection of his truck’s mirror. He had moved a bit now, arms crossed over his chest, but his hat still covered most of his face.

Yunho didn’t know how long they waited until they heard a car rolling down the road. A tan Ford Galaxie pulled into the dirt lot, the shine of the paint against the sun almost blinding. He knew the car well from the year before. The older man behind the wheel cut the engine, stepping out of the low-body car with a cigarette between his lips.

It was the owner of the ranch, a person whom Yunho had met during his prior year working here. The man stepped out of the car and headed straight for the door of the trailer, walking inside and shutting it behind him.

The other man who had waited outside with him looked over at Yunho for a moment, who stood with his hands on his hips in bafflement. A few seconds later, the middle-aged man opened the door again, leaning out and ushering them in with his curt words. “I don’t have all damn day now.”

Those were all the words the two needed, quickly rushing up the rickety wooden steps and inside the small trailer, standing in front of the man’s desk. The lingering scent of tobacco and wood was palpable, and Yunho could almost feel eyes on him just as strongly as the scent when he removed his hat.

He didn’t dare look beside him, instead keeping his eyes on the ground, firmly fixated on his dirty leather boots. The owner sat at his desk, leaning back in the cheap rolling chair, before he began to speak.

“I need two people for this job. The forest service got designated campsites for setting up tents. They’ve been cracking down recently on the laws of herding sheep in the range. That means one of you stays at the camp, the other sleeps and stays in a pup tent with the sheep, almost 100 percent of the time. Only comes to the campsite for breakfast and supper. You’ll have a dog and two rifles for coyotes. No fires up on the mountain with the sheep, if the forest service roams around and catches y’all, I’m docking your pay. We had almost a 30 percent loss last summer. I don’t want that again, understand?”

Yunho understood, he’d been there when it happened. His pay was hit hard, and his ranch partner wasn’t thrilled about it either. He looked between the two of them, gazing quickly, scanning them before settling on Yunho. “You’ll be on the mountain with the sheep, keep a keen eye for wolves and coyotes. Other than that, any questions?”

Yunho shook his head. It was pretty self-explanatory: herd sheep, keep them from roaming too far, prevent them from getting eaten by other animals. He had been set to pup tent night duty last time. He didn’t mind it, but he wasn’t looking forward to the extra work he’d have put in for the same rate of pay as his partner. The man next to him was also silent, he hadn’t been able to speak to him yet, but his presence was already insurmountable to anyone Yunho had met before. Just from standing next to him, Yunho felt as if he could sense the heat coming from his body, radiating off him in waves along with the manly scent of sweat and skin.

“Well then, y’all start tomorrow morning. Meet here at 7 am sharp.”

“Yessir,” they both said in unison. It was the first time he heard the other speak.

‘Oh,’ Yunho thought to himself, the other man’s voice was deep, rough, manly. Much different than his own softer tone. He didn’t look at him, not yet at least.

“Tomorrow we’ll bring you to the jump-off,” the older said, dismissing them as he lit up a cigarette, leaning back in his chair.

They both shuffled out of the trailer without another word, the wind whipping past them as they stepped outside. Yunho shoved his hand in his pockets after putting his cowboy hat back on.

He was tall, just about as tall as Yunho was, but he was much more muscular and solid. Strong legs and thick thighs strained against his jeans, with wide shoulders under his brown leather jacket. His eyes were calculating, wolfish, with a pointed, prominent nose. When Yunho looked closer, he could see a beauty mark right under his eye on his cheek.

Yunho must’ve been staring too hard, because the man held his hand out in offering to greet him. His hands were big, thick fingers. When Yunho grabbed it, the skin was rough and calloused from work.

“Mingi,” he introduced himself with the tip of his hat.

Yunho returned the gesture, averting his gaze to make sure his staring wasn’t off-putting. “Yunho.”

Mingi gave him a quick once-over before turning to look at the landscape in front of them, pulling a rolled cigarette from his breast pocket and setting it alight. “You’ve worked on a ranch before, Yunho?”

It would take some time for Yunho to get used to his tone, not that he’d never met someone with a deeper one before, but Mingi’s was different. Curt and to the point, like he didn’t enjoy beating around the bush.

“Uh, yeah. My father owns one. I work there for some cash,” he replied. “You?”

Mingi took an inhale of his cigarette before exhaling it out of his nose. He looked at Yunho as he did, then dropped his gaze. “Yeah, one’s up north near the Canadian border. They pay more cause of the snow.”

Yunho hummed in response. He could tell there was something about Mingi that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. The quietness, slightly aloof, almost a stifling silence that came after his short sentences. Instead of being off-putting, it made him come across as stoic and resigned.

With the rest of their day left and nothing to do, they both found themselves at a local poolhouse. The interior was dark, and a haze hung in the air from other men smoking freely inside. There were a few others there, even in the early afternoon, the ambient sound of billiards knocking against one another as Yunho sat with Mingi.

The beer he sipped was cold against his tongue, quelling the thirst that he’d worked up from walking. The weather outside was warm, but a cool breeze from the mountains kept it from getting too hot. He turned the bottle on the table with his hand after taking his sip, racking his brain of what to converse over.

“I’ve worked in the Bighorn mountains before, last summer,” He started. It made sense to tell the other that he’d had experience. The best way he could break the ice. “Weather was bad, we got hit with a storm, and lost quite a few sheep. But it pays fair enough better than some other jobs, I’d say.”

Mingi looked at him with a near unreadable expression, the intensity of his stare nearly making Yunho feel small. He kept talking though, choosing to continue to try and get to know the man. “You’re from ranch people?”

“Yeah, I grew up with it,” Mingi replied, slightly leaning back in his seat. “I’m on my own now. I go where the best job pays.”

Yunho chuckled at that. He swirled the liquid around the glass bottle, needing to keep his hands busy. It wasn’t that he was nervous per se, but he’d always been a bit slower to warm up to people. Mingi seemed similar, letting Yunho direct the flow of their conversation.

“I can drink to that,” Yunho raised his bottle with the small tip of his hat before taking another swig, licking the corner of his mouth afterwards. A hint of a grin appeared on Mingi’s lips, a bit of the composure and commonalities slipping away. They talked about various things, Yunho telling Mingi that having a good amount of whiskey was needed. They made a decent amount of small talk, and it was nice to know Mingi was friendly enough.

In the end, they stayed at the poolhouse until the sun began setting, the skies a dusky shade of pink when they left the building. The following day would be their first on the job, and Yunho was as nervous as he was eager to get started.

Morning came all too quickly, both he and Ming were on the ranch bright and early to learn the ropes. The ranch hand went over the basics, how many sheep there were, keeping count, and what to look out for on the trails. All things Yunho had learned before, the one who intently listened was Mingi.

From watching, it seemed Mingi was already familiar with most things, like saddling his horse, tying complicated knots, to handling sheep without startling them. He took the instruction seriously, paying close attention to each direction given. Yunho was impressed, whatever Mingi didn’t already know, he picked up quickly.

After a small meal, they prepared to head up the mountain with hundreds of sheep in tow. The count had increased since Yunho’s last visit, many of them lambs having just been born that spring. He watched the sheep within the enclosed pasture over the fences, as they followed one another out of the gates. They were nearly ready. Horses loaded, food packed for the next week, and extra and heavier supplies were carried by two mules.

“Let’s get going before we run outta daylight,” Mingi called out.

The sheep herding itself was the most strenuous of the work, keeping track of them all, making sure none strayed too far. The gray border collie named Holly was helpful, his barks and quick legs keeping the sheep in line. The weather was pleasant as they trekked through the mountains, the higher altitude cooling off the warm summer air. Mingi was still silent, although they couldn’t talk much, being feet apart, looking after different parts of the herd on their horses.

Yunho kept to himself as they made their way up the mountainous terrain, having to cross over rivers, carrying smaller lambs across the rushing waters to prevent them from getting washed away by the strong currents. Mingi stayed towards the back end of the herd, keeping an eye out for any sheep that may be slower to catch up.

Despite the distance, Yunho decided to try not to say much. The last thing he wanted was to annoy the person he’d be working with so closely. He wanted to play it safe, only mentioning their sheep or stops they had to make to take a much-needed break. Though the silence was somewhat nice, almost comfortable.

Yunho was so used to being talked at, it was different to have someone who barely spoke. It gave him a sense of peace. Let him take in the sights around him, the vastness of the mountains surrounding the area, and the trickle of streams along the pathway. The bleating of sheep and barks from Holly added enough sound to keep it from becoming awkward.
The greenery was in full bloom, small flowers on bushes, lush and rustling in the wind that passed them. After eventually putting the herd up in an open area for the night, they went to set up camp. Mingi was ahead on his horse, and they slowly made their way up the path before nightfall.

It allowed Yunho to stare without getting caught or nervous, his eyes drinking in the sight of the man in front of him. The broadness of his shoulders, how his thick thighs and long legs hung around the saddle. Mingi was muscular, even Yunho could tell under the layers he wore. His skin was a golden shade of tan, probably from working outdoors often. When he turned his head, Yunho could get a glimpse of Mingi’s profile from underneath his cowboy hat. Sharp pointed nose, with soft, full lips to round out his features.

Yunho knew he shouldn’t be staring at another man in such a way, it was wrong, sinful, and made him feel an insurmountable bout of guilt. But he couldn’t help it, Mingi was handsome, and Yunho wasn’t blind. It was his chance to fantasize as much as he wanted out in the wilderness alone, where nobody could catch him.

It was freeing, alluring in every way of the word. Yet he still had to be cautious. There was no telling what Mingi was like, and getting too comfortable could be dangerous. So Yunho settled for admiring from afar, enjoying the silence.

At their camp, much needed to be done, cutting firewood, setting up a tent, and the food needed to be hung from a considerable height to prevent bears or other animals from rummaging through their stock. By the time they’d finished everything, the sun was lower in the sky. Yunho sat at the fire and began cutting open a can of beans crudely with his pocket knife.

Again, Mingi didn’t speak, even when they had a fire started and food cooking over it. The sun had just set, and now the cooler temperatures were setting in. Yunho eyed him under the brim of his hat, his stolen glances allowing him to see how indelicate Mingi looked as he ate quietly.

The glow of the fire just barely softened his face, he was all harsh edges, whereas Yunho held much rounder features. Kind eyes and round cheeks, a natural pout to his lips that made him come across as boyish.

“I hope you like beans,” Mingi told him, talking through a mouthful of food. If he caught Yunho staring at him, he said nothing. “'Cause that’s what we’ve got till next week. That and spuds.”

Yunho shoveled another spoonful of that exact combination into his mouth, chewing a few times. Beans weren’t his favorite, but he was in no position to complain. “S’alright, it’ll do till we get sick of it.”

Mingi hummed in agreement, scraping the last few bits of food from the can into his mouth. He ate like he had a real appetite about him, though after their trek from the jump off Yunho was just as famished. He took his last few bites, setting the empty can aside and washing it down with water they’d collected. Supper was quick, and the sun was setting even faster.

“You’d better head out fore you can’t see in front of you no more.” Mingi mentioned. He was right, hiking up in pitch darkness would only make Yunho’s job harder. Procrastinating wouldn’t do him any good.

With a heavy sigh he rose to his feet, dusting any excess dirt from his jeans. He had quite a few things already packed and ready to go, and as he was loading the rest of his belongings into his saddle bag he could feel a pair of eyes on him.

The urge to turn back and look was strong, the gaze felt so eerily heavy almost as he was being tracked rather than just watched. He knew it was Mingi, some sort of sixth sense Yunho had feeling the weight of eyes on him for too long. When he finally glanced over his shoulder, Mingi had turned quickly enough not to be caught. Instead, he was whittling away at a spare piece of wood with his knife.

Yunho turned back silently, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He got atop his horse without another word or a look back at the camp. Though something told him that Mingi was still watching him until he fully disappeared within the trees.

The hike back to the sheep was a few miles out, meaning Yunho had to leave before sunset in order to have light along his commute. The dusty pink skies drifted into a soft lavender as the sun fell, painting the peaks of the mountains in an orange glow as he trotted with his horse endearingly named Willow.

The sight of the sunset kept Yunho company until he reached his camp for the night, a small canvas pup tent that overlooked the herd. By the time he was ready to hunker down, the night had fallen, and he could see the light from Mingi’s camp below him. If he squinted, he could just make out the fire pit and the tent that he knew Mingi was residing in.

As he sat watching during the late hours, he couldn’t help but wonder if Mingi was thinking of him as he laid in his tent. No matter if he tried to push his thoughts away, they returned to Mingi, his clipped way of speaking, his more muscular frame.

Despite them getting to know one another, Yunho couldn’t tell if Mingi liked him or not. If he was just tolerating Yunho because they were set to work together. Either way, Yunho would get paid at the end of the summer, and he could pick up rodeoing again.

He didn’t dare get his hopes up that they’d be anything more than friends either. Even friends were pushing it, Yunho knew deep down what he really wanted. Something that he would never get, that he shouldn’t even dream about perhaps.

As he looked out into the pasture, the brightness of the moon his only source of light, he said a silent prayer of hope. Hope that his time up here would grant him some sort of solace, peace from the world he’d eventually have to return to. It mattered not if anyone heard his prayers, but sending them somewhere was better than nothing.

When Yunho sat at their shared camp the next morning, he let out a powerful yawn from exhaustion. His eyes still adjusted to the light of morning, having sat in moonlit darkness with no fire hours before. Even during his nearly hour-long ride down the trail from the herd, he was tired. He'd left in the wee hours of the morning to make it right at sun-up.

He half-hazardly patted down his pockets to find a cigarette he’d rolled earlier and a lighter. Mingi was still making breakfast, and Yunho needed something to fully wake him up after such a long night.

Only once he’d set the end alight and taken a few drags was he then able to put his words together. “That pup tent sure stinks like high hell,” he muttered morosely. It was true, the sour stench wasn’t too strong at first, but it slowly infiltrated the nose and made its presence known.

“This one don’t smell much better,” Mingi chuckled, taking some hot water and two mugs, filling them to the brim as he waited for their spuds to fully cook over the fire. He added a generous amount of instant coffee to both mugs and handed one to Yunho. “I’d say I can wash 'em in the river while you're herding, leave' em out to dry till supper.”

Inciting. A generous offer, really. For some reason, it made Yunho’s ears redden under his hat. A friendly gesture, nothing more, they were partners after all. But a gesture nonetheless, a foot in the door, it let Yunho know that Mingi didn’t dislike him. As much of a reach as he would take anything he could get.

He accepted the mug with a nod, the steaming dark roast immediately warming his frigid hands. During the day, the temperatures would rise to the low 60s, but the chilly morning air made Yunho tuck his feet a bit closer to the fire to warm his boots.

“Sure, much appreciated,” he said behind the rim of his coffee cup. Not only did he take a sip, but hid the way he bit his lower lip nervously before he spoke. Mingi didn’t see anyway, too busy splitting their portions of food evenly before passing over Yunho’s half.

The day passed by slowly, perhaps it was the tiredness deep set in Yunho’s bones, or the natural malaise that came with sheep herding. There wasn’t too much to keep him busy in the pasture, other than making sure the sheep were healthy and had enough to graze on.

He spent most of the afternoon tending to his horse before heading down to their shared camp for their regular supper. Mingi had gone down the mountain to get their ration of food and supplies for the next week, and once again it was spuds and soup. Better than beans, he supposed.

Mingi had also done as he promised, which was to give both their canopy tents and a good wash in the river nearby. Yunho could see both of them hanging on a line near the fire to dry. Mingi was also perched near the fire, still whittling away at a piece of wood like he was the night before. Now it vaguely took a rounded shape, Yunho assumed he was crafting something out of it.

Yunho took a seat by the fire pit silently, and to his lack of surprise, Mingi didn’t say anything either. Though when Yunho looked closer at him, there was a white piece of gauze wrapped around one of his fingers.

“Cut yourself?” Yunho asked.

Mingi looked up at him almost as if he didn’t expect him to be sitting there. Lost in his own world while carving the wood. Yunho motioned towards his bandaged hand, and Mingi finally responded.

“Oh, yeah. Sometimes the knife slips when I’m carving it. S’not too bad.” Mingi explained. It looked crudely bandaged, like he’d simply wrapped gauze around his finger without really doing much else.

“I can take a look if you want, or help ya re-wrap it, if–” Yunho started, but he was curtly interrupted.

“M’fine,” Mingi mumbled. Just like that, an impenetrable wall was put up between them. He had many walls around him, Yunho noticed. Though he tried not to take it personally, it still got under his skin.

Instead of making a fuss, Yunho bit his tongue. If Mingi’s cut were to get infected, what’s it to him? Why did he care? Why was he looking for any and every reason to touch him? Feel the roughness of the other man's hands on his own skin?

The thought irked Yunho, because he knew it was more than just himself being kind. He was trying so desperately to get a foot in the door with the other man. Trying to get him to let down his walls even just a little bit. However, his efforts seemed to always be shot down.

They ate in relative silence that night, not tense, but Yunho longed for some sort of connection with the other. Some sort of way to peel back the toughened layers of Mingi’s persona. This time, Yunho left earlier to head up the mountain, just to have more time to leisurely trot along the trail with his horse Willow as company.

He’d done the same job last summer, staying up until late hours of the night watching over the herd, struggling to keep his eyes open in the wee hours of the morning. As much as Yunho complained about working for the old man, the isolation gave him time to think. To breathe.

It was away from his overbearing father, who found something wrong with everything he did. The rumors from friends and family that Yunho was just a bit too emotional, too feminine, too soft. Even in his early adulthood, he was slender with long, lithe legs and softer features. Everyone else around Yunho’s age had filled out, gained muscle, and girth. So instead of staying on his father's ranch during the summer, he came here again.

When the sun set, and Yunho was alone in the mountains watching over the sheep, he could see the small fire at the camp they shared. He would sit there and stare at it for minutes at a time, wondering if Mingi was thinking of him as he lay in his tent.

He’d think about Mingi’s rough hands running over his soft skin, what it would feel like to be engulfed by his larger frame. The image alone was enough for Yunho to have a considerable tent in his jeans, cock throbbing at the mere thought of being touched by the other man.

Even though he was alone, he was still embarrassed, his ears turning a warm shade of pink as he realized his own arousal. There was no use in ignoring it, he knew it wouldn’t go away on its own.

He could only fight the coiling heat growing in his gut so much as he sat there fantasizing. He moved to unbuckle his belt with haste, fingers shaking as he finally pulled his cock out. He let salvia pool in his mouth before spitting into his hand and wrapping his slick palm around himself, hissing at the sensation.

Yunho kept thinking about Mingi as he pumped his fist down his length, about his muscles, the rough tone of his voice, how he’d sound giving Yunho demands. The smell of him after sweating, the warm glow of his skin, he wondered if his cock was as big as he was.

When the image of Mingi’s cock came to mind, Yunho came faster than he expected, moaning and panting softly as his sudden orgasm washed over him. Come painting the back of his hand and running down his knuckles in thick rivulets.

He sat there for a minute, kneeling in the dirt with cooling semen all over his hand, coming back to reality. A wave of shame washed over him, embarrassment for being so desperate, shame for being the way he was. He wiped his hand on the blanket he’d cast aside, trying to erase any trace of the mess he’d made.

Yunho knew being attracted to Mingi was wrong, that expressing any of his attraction to any man could end badly. But he couldn’t help it, and part of him knew that. He knew he was different deep down, that women weren’t his type at all. That was when he found himself fantasizing at night, it was always a masculine figure.

Even when he tried hard to push the thoughts away, the urges down, they always came back. They always sat dormant in the back of his mind, building up until he couldn’t resist it anymore. Yunho kept his desires to himself, never voiced them, never even acted on them, yet something about Mingi had ignited a strong hold on Yunho.

Over the next few days, Yunho had grown more and more frustrated. Constantly having to stay up until the early hours of the morning, keeping watch was taking a toll on him. Not to mention the time it took to travel between the sheep herd and their camp. On horse, it was around thirty minutes uphill, along with having to take down his shit excuse for a tent every night.

This particular morning put Yunho in a mood, there was a coyote he hadn’t been able to get the night before. His aim faltered, and with the lack of sleep, it only got worse. He met Mingi at the campsite with a flurry of complaints, not even paying attention to the food that was cooking. “Staying up all damn night is shit, that sorry excuse for a tent barely does a thing. I’m up there most of the time lookin out for coyotes, all because that old man wants no sheep dead. He has no right to treat me like this.”

Mingi wasn’t phased by his sudden words. He sat quietly on a log near the fire, a mug of coffee clutched in one hand. He kept his lips pressed together as he talked to keep the cigarette in his mouth from falling. “We can switch, I wouldn’t mind being up there,”

Yunho sat next to the fire too, outstretching his legs and pulling his denim fur-lined jacket closer around himself. His lips formed a small pout as he thought it over. “If you don’t mind, then be my guest.”

“I don’t mind none,” Mingi replied. “Was wonderin’ when you’d wanna switch,” he confessed.

Yunho looked up at Mingi, eyes squinted, searching for any sign of dishonesty. “What? Sayin’ you expected me to tap out?”

Mingi shrugged, he exhaled smoke from his lips, and took his cigarette between his fingers. “Didn’t mean no offense by it, I’ve been watching before on other ranches. Can’t do it for too long or you’ll get sick of it just like you are.”

Yunho shifted, softening his gaze. Maybe Mingi was more empathetic than he thought. He tried not to show his true emotions as he thought about Mingi’s words. His reply was softer, not as frustrated. “Alright then,” he paused before continuing, for some reason, he had an overwhelming urge to ask Mingi about his past. “Your parents owned a ranch? I remember you mentioned it once.”

“Yeah,” he shifted in his seat before continuing. “But they passed a long time ago. Now I’m set to marry a nice girl after this job.”

Yunho felt his stomach flip at this. Marry someone? It wasn’t unheard of, though the thought of Mingi marrying some girl made Yunho nearly feel sick. He masked his distaste with a practiced reply. “Oh yeah? Bet you’re looking forward to that.”

Mingi half-smiled, the kind of smile one gives when they aren’t too sure if they’re supposed to be happy themselves. “I guess so, she’s a nice woman, pious and all.”

Yunho hummed, “My mother was religious too, believed in the Pentecost and all that,”

Mingi’s brow rose at this statement. He took a sip of his coffee before speaking. “What exactly is the Pentecost? I don’t know nothing about it.”

Yunho paused. After all his years, he couldn’t possibly think of an actual answer to Mingi’s question when he thought it over. The long hours in church listening to hymns and reading the bible aloud on Sundays. “Well…I guess I’m not too sure. Somethin’ about the rapture. If you’re a sinner, you go to hell. You know the gist.”

“You may be a sinner, but I ain’t yet had the opportunity.” Mingi half-smiled to himself.

Yunho chuckled, the statement was true in Mingi’s regard, but his own, he knew less of. He knew he was a sinner deep down, that in reality he was no better than someone who hadn’t sinned at all.

After their talk during breakfast, Mingi seemed to loosen up just a bit. They roamed the pasture during the day on their horses, talking about random things, the sheep, how the weather has been, and their upbringings. It was like seeing a different side of Mingi, one that was much more talkative and had a sense of humor. Yunho found out that they were the same age, only a few months apart, in fact. Mingi had an affinity for animals, specifically horses and cows. Most of the wooden carvings he made were of small animals.

Later in the day, Yunho found himself tending to the hoof of a lamb. He caught the poor thing bleating and struggling to follow its mother. When he was able to look closer with the small animal in his lap, there was dirt and small pebbles stuck within its hind hoof.

“Oh, look at you,” Yunho soothed, gently petting the lamb's head. He worked quickly with the tools he had on hand to remove most of the debris, and the lamb surprisingly sat still while Yunho worked. The mother sheep was close by to keep an eye on her baby, and Yunho couldn’t help but smile.

“Your mama’s worried about you,” he continued talking as he gently scraped the last of the dirt from its hoof. The lamb bleated back, nosing at Yunho’s arm in its own way of communicating.

He checked the rest of the hoofs to be sure there was nothing else wrong, giving the lamb a few more gentle pets along its soft pelt. That’s exactly how Mingi found him, softly talking to the lamb and petting it while he sat in the grass.

Mingi didn’t say anything at first, just watched the scene with the horse behind him holding the lead in his hand. Yunho didn’t notice him either, too enamored with the cute little lamb to notice his surroundings.

“You talk to animals often?”

Yunho’s head snapped up quickly, his dark cowboy hat nearly falling off. A sense of fear washed over him before it faded. He did, in fact talk to animals often. On his parents' farm, those were the only ears that would listen without judgment and would love him unconditionally.

Yunho didn’t think it was odd, but his father had told him to stop giving their farm animals personalities, as it made it harder to sell them off later. Or even worse, when they’d be slaughtered for meat. To him, though, they all did have personalities, dreams, and thoughts just like any other living creature would.

“Sometimes,” Yunho stated, he looked back down at the lamb before putting it back into the grass to roam freely. He watched as it pranced happily around him, almost to say ‘thank you,’ before joining its mother a few feet away. “They always listen, no matter what.”

Mingi hummed at this, shoving one hand in his jacket pocket. “Makes sense,”

Yunho stood and dusted the dirt and grass from his jeans. He was somewhat embarrassed at first, but quickly realized he had no reason to be. Mingi was much more open-minded than he thought. Or rather, he was simply not used to talking to other people.

Yunho noticed this after talking about their families and how they grew up. Mingi didn’t grow up religious, had never seen a film before, and he hadn’t even heard of some of the books that Yunho loved. It made him wonder truly how rough his childhood was, that even at his age of twenty, he was naive to such things that other people would know of.

“I was thinkin’” Mingi continued, his brow furrowed slightly as he tried to find the right words. “We could move the herd further into the range,”

Yunho’s ear perked up at this. Further into the mountains meant even more isolation. The camp they had now was only the first one they’d stumbled upon since first coming up Brokeback. The idea wasn’t a bad one, he had a feeling the old man was somewhere watching them every now and then. The ranch was a short distance away. Moving further in would mean it takes longer to get to the ranch, away from his prying eyes.

“I’d reckon it’d be a good idea,” He tried his best to hide the excitement of getting more privacy. As if anything would truly happen between them. Though deep down he knew he wanted something too, and this was a step in the right direction. “Let the sheep get some exercise,”

Mingi only nodded in agreement, taking a look up at the sky and the horizon. “We won’t have enough daylight today, we’ll set off first thing tomorrow.”

“Alright, we can prepare some tonight, make it easier on us come morning.” Yunho agreed. He looked down at his watch to see that it was nearing four p.m., and Mingi was right, the sun would be setting in a few hours.

Mingi saddled his horse, lifting his hat to push his hair back off his forehead before putting it back on. Yunho had to look up at him through his lashes to meet his eyes, to which Mingi stared back for a moment before quickly averting his gaze and clearing his throat.

“Meet you down there,” he half mumbled, and Yunho didn’t have a chance to respond before Mingi was off on his horse, galloping with a quick pace.

Mingi wasn’t good at holding conversations, oftentimes leaving it up to Yunho to start them or keep them going. He didn’t know if it was because he didn’t know what to say next, or perhaps he felt awkward just talking about whatever came to mind. Either way, it made for some interesting interactions, much like this one.

He watched as Mingi rode away without looking back to see if Yunho was behind him, a small smile forming on his lips. Maybe spending this time in the mountains would prove to be much more interesting than Yunho anticipated.

Just as they talked about, they packed most of their things up the night before, even going to bed early to get a head start. When morning came, the grass and trees were damp with dewiness, a slight fog hanging in the air.

The other man was quieter in the early hours, as he was most days, but today was a different type of quietness. After a short breakfast, they began taking down their tent, bundling the extra firewood that had been cut, gathering their belongings to head further up the mountain. They both worked quickly to pack up the last of their things and load them on the horses.

Although little words between them were said, Yunho could feel a certain tension, something brewing under his skin, so much so that it made his hair stand on end. Perhaps it was the way he always felt like Mingi was watching him when he wasn’t paying attention. How Yunho felt like eyes were boring into the back of his head every time his back was turned to Mingi.

Or perhaps it was the prospect of moving further into the range that made Yunho feel a slight buzz of excitement. Sure, Mingi could have suggested it for the sake of the herd, let them get exercise and have more room to roam. Though he couldn’t help but wonder if that also had some sort of underlying reason.

He tried not to read too closely into it, he didn’t want to get his hopes up, that would only lead to disappointment down the road. Mingi was checking the tightness of the buckles that secured his saddle to his horse, meanwhile, Yunho was saddled and ready to go, sitting atop his horse with a harmonica he’d found at the bottom of his duffle bag.

“You all ready?” Mingi asked as he mounted his horse. He gave the mare a few strokes atop her head as he settled.

“As I’ll ever be.”

This time around, the trek through the mountains wasn’t as strenuous, despite the distance. The early morning air was chilly against Yunho’s cheeks as they trotted alongside the hundreds of sheep. Holly, the border collies' barks could be heard further ahead as he guided the stray sheep back into the rest of the herd.

Yunho busied himself with trying to play his harmonica, he only knew shorter melodies that he’d taught himself by ear, yet it still didn’t sound right. Mingi didn’t say anything about it, but he did give Yunho a few sidelong glances every time his harmonica made a sound more akin to a screech.

They rested for lunch, found a hilltop to munch on dried pieces of jerky and crackers while the herd grazed below them. The day was a nice one, warm, but the cool mountain breeze gave way to the sun that beamed down on them. The sky was clear, with only a few long streaks of clouds off in the distance. Yunho could hear the rushing of water from a nearby stream, along with the chirping of birds hidden in the trees.

Mingi had a smouldering cigarette dangling from his lips as he watched the herd below, sitting in the tall grass next to Yunho silently. Again, Yunho felt the pressing urge to break their silence, just to hear Mingi’s voice.

“Not as bad a trip,” Yunho noted softly. He didn’t look over at Mingi when he spoke, instead, his eyes were trained on the way the grass moved as the breeze rustled past them. “Not like the first trek up ‘ere.”

Mingi hummed in agreement, taking his cigarette between his fingers so he could talk without it falling. “Less of a distance, I reckon, we only got a few more miles ‘fore we reach the next site.”

Yunho’s ears perked up at this. Only a bit more to go before he and Mingi would be far enough away from the old ranch owners' prying eyes. The thought made the corners of his mouth twitch in want of a smile, but he pressed his lips together to suppress it. “How long you thinkin’ it’ll take?”

Mingi tilted his head slightly in ponderance. “Hour or so,”

And Mingi was right, about an hour later, they’d reached a place to settle the sheep. It was another vast open field, only this time the view was much more scenic. Tree-lined mountains surrounded them on all sides, along with rolling hills in the distance.

Now it was time for him and Mingi to set up their own campsite before they lost any more daylight. As they slowly descended the trail, Yunho was behind Mingi, and he realized he preferred to ride behind him to be able to admire him without being caught. He was free to stare as long as he pleased, and stare he did. It started with his boots, the brown leather covered in layers of dust and dirt that made them look worn. His jeans covered the details of the upper boot, his calves somewhat hidden from the looser cut.

When Yunho ran his gaze up to his thighs, those strong thighs that sat so perfectly on his saddle, the position made the denim taut around his muscles. If Yunho looked closely enough, he could see the way his thighs moved as his horse walked along the path. Then came the best part, the full buttocks that Mingi had made Yunho’s head spin. The way whenever Mingi bent over, he couldn’t help but take a glance and savor the sight. His waist was slim when his brown jacket wasn’t covering it all up, in total contrast to the broadness of his shoulders.

His dark hair was covered by his tan cowboy hat, but the longer back lengths peeked out of the sides. Yunho couldn’t get enough of him, it was like looking at a painting, a beautiful postcard from another land.

Soon, Yunho’s admiration came to an end as they arrived at the campsite. Mingi dismounted from his horse, tying the lead on a nearby post. It didn’t take long for them to get situated. Yunho was able to get a steady fire going while Mingi fiddled with the tent.

“This tent ain’t looking right,” Mingi mumbled with frustration as he tried moving one of the posts for at least the tenth time. Yunho was busy with his harmonica, sitting by the now roaring fire as he blew into the metal instrument.

“S’not supposed to look right, as long as it stands up it’s fine.” Yunho replied. He blew a few more notes into his harmonica before Mingi finally said something about it.

“If I were a lucky man, that harmonica would’ve broken on our way here,” Mingi quipped.

Yunho almost thought he was genuinely upset until he turned to see Mingi half smiling, a small upturn in the corner of his lips. “Well, it did get a little dented from being in the bottom of my bag, and when that mare threw me.”

“Oh? I thought no mare could toss ya?” Mingi replied.

Yunho smiled back, lowering his head to be covered with the wide brim of his cowboy hat. “Well, this one did, guess you were right ‘bout the low startle point.”

Mingi only chuckled, moving to rummage through their stock of food. The sun hung low on the horizon, and thankfully, they’d managed to make perfect timing before nightfall.

“All we got is beans left, or soup,” he mentioned. He pulled out various cans, though when Yunho got closer, he saw the labels were the same. Soup or beans.

“Well, we had beans for breakfast, might as well switch it up,” he sighed. The week was coming to an end, hopefully, they’d be able to get some other variation of canned food. Yunho was sick of baked beans and beef soup every day. Mingi hummed in agreement, stacking a few dry logs to add to the fire. He didn’t seem as bothered by the lack of food choices, a man of simple tastes, Yunho assumed.

He did have something that could make dinner go down easier, a treat for all the hard work and bonding they’d done. Yunho had been hiding it the past few days, but he knew Mingi probably had his own stash in his duffle too. He searched through his saddlebag to find a half-full bottle of whiskey.

“I got this,” Yunho beamed, heading over to the fire. He held to bottle out towards Mingi ,who eyed it, a smile blooming on his face.

“Well I’ll be damned,” Mingi laughed, he took the bottle, unscrewed the cap, and took a deep inhale of the brown liquid. It must’ve burned his nostrils with the way his face scrunched up afterwards. “Good shit, Yunho.”

Yunho smiled, a swell of pride grew in his chest. The way Mingi lit up made a warm, giddy feeling spread throughout his limbs. “Yeah? Been keepin' it hidden, but figured we’d earned it.”

He shyly tucked his hands in his back pockets, a habit Yunho’s had since he was younger, the innocence of his personality peeking through the shadows. Mingi held the bottle back out to Yunho after giving it another good inhale.

“You first,” Mingi gestured. “S’bad table manners if I took the first drink,”

Yunho hesitated, he didn’t know why. It was his own bottle. But when he stared at Mingi’s outstretched arm, large hands wrapped around the neck of the bottle, he felt his stomach flip. Still, he grabbed it, fingers brushing against Mingi’s ever so slightly, barely even considered a real touch. His skin tingled where they touched, the feather-light sensation almost ticklish.

Mingi watched as he brought the bottle to his lips, taking a generous swig, head tilted back. Yunho didn’t meet his eyes, but he could feel him staring, feel the way the air had shifted around them.

When he dropped his gaze back to Mingi, he was staring at the fire, lips pressed together as if he was trying to suppress the urge to say something. The fire had grown strong by now, the sky darkening to let the flames be the only source of light, casting a warm glow over the camp.
“Here,” Yunho spoke, passing the bottle back. Mingi looked up at Yunho through his lashes, face devoid of what he was thinking. He took the bottle silently, his tongue peeking out to lick at his chapped bottom lip before taking a swig.

Yunho hunkered down at the fire, back leaning against a log, and his feet warmed by the hearth. He, too found himself staring into the flames, mesmerized by the flicker and soft crackling of the dry wood. It was quiet, but not uncomfortable, not suffocating like the silent dinners he’d share with his mother and father at the dinner table. It was peaceful, calming. The first time Yunho felt he could relax in years.

Mingi was the first to break the silence this time. He’d put two cans of beans over the fire by now, but neither of them made any effort to eat them. “How long you been rodeoin’?”

Yunho was caught off guard, not by the question, but by the sheer fact that he’s certain he’d never heard Mingi start a conversation. They had only talked of rodeos a few times together. He didn’t tease him this time, instead answering right away. “Well, my dad used to be back in the day, I’ve been on horses since I can remember. My first rodeo, I was about 13, I think.”

He started in his teens after seeing one live. When he got older and began going to rodeos, he admired the athleticism, the extravagancy of it all, the outfits the cowboys would wear, their tight jeans, leather chaps, and embroidered shirts.

Yunho wanted to be just like them, not for the notoriety, but the rush of it all, the performance. He wasn’t as good as others, but he’d still put aside money when he could for a buy-in fee.

“I never did something like that,” Mingi sighed. He took another sip of whiskey, tongue darting out again to chase the taste at the corner of his mouth. “I remember going to a few back when my ‘rents were still alive. Saw a lot of cowboys walk away with broken bones, some of ‘em ain't even walking.”

Yunho hummed at this. He’s seen his fair share of cowboys' careers ending in the blink of an eye after being bucked off an angry bull. All it took was one wrong move, and it could all be over. “You wouldn’t try it?”

Mingi shook his head, a laugh exhaled through his nose. “Nah, I don’t see the appeal, just a bunch of tricks and gimmicks,”

Yunho laughed. He was feeling slightly buzzed by now, cheeks flushed from the frequent sips of whiskey. “Aw, c’mon, you don’t know what you're missin’,”

“Like hell I do, I like my leg bones intact,” Mingi quickly rebutted, his face remained serious, but there was a slight upturn of his lips, a small glint in his eye.

The warm fire and burn of the whiskey made Yunho feel giddy, a little lighter than normal. He laughed, and when he looked up at Mingi on the opposite side of the fire, he saw the rosy cheeks and the slight unfocusness of his eyes. Something about seeing Mingi in such a state allured Yunho, made him want to do unspeakable things, but he pushed it down as he always did.

It was just the whiskey making him feel this way. He just needed to rest, and he would be okay, the thoughts would go away.

That’s what he hoped for at least until it was late into the night and Yunho had retreated to his tent, the constant sips of whiskey putting him down for the count. He’d tried to tell Mingi that sleeping by the fire wasn’t a good idea, but he hadn’t listened.

Mingi had taken a spare blanket and lay right in the mulch and dirt next to the pit and fallen asleep, but Yunho knew once the flames went out, he’d be cold. Regardless, he dozed off in his tent, the warmth of the nearby flames lulling him to sleep.

It couldn’t have been more than a few hours later when he was awoken. The sound of Mingi’s shivers is what roused Yunho. He could hear his teeth chattering, the huffs of his shivers, trying to retain heat to keep warm.

Yunho could only listen to it for so long before he spoke up. “Dammit, Mingi, stop yammerin’ and get in here.”

It didn’t take much convincing. Mingi rose as soon as he heard Yunho’s voice from the tent, tripping over scattered camp gear in pitch darkness as he found his way inside. Yunho had already moved over, making room for the other. The inside was much warmer, able to trap body heat and keep the chill of the night away.

He could hear Mingi getting comfortable next to him, but he didn’t dare turn over, didn’t dare even open his eyes to glance back. Yunho lay there facing away from Mingi, eyes closed but wide awake, listening to the breaths of the man next to him.

Yunho’s mind didn’t stop racing as he lay there. The tent was quiet, but his inner monologue echoed loudly in his mind. Mingi was so close that he could feel his body heat radiating off of him, he could hear the even breaths leaving his chest, smell the lingering scent of whiskey and tobacco.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, how long they both lay there in silence, Yunho pretending to sleep. He wondered if he touched Mingi, if he said something to him, would he stop him? Would he be upset? Would he turn him away?

Before he could think too hard about it, he turned, taking Mingi’s hand and pulling it to rest on top of himself. The weight of his arm felt grounding, and at first, Mingi didn’t react. Didn’t say a word, didn’t move a muscle. That was until Yunho’s hand guided him further down, far enough to graze the top of his belt.

That’s when Mingi jolted upright, quickly jumping back as if he’d been burned. He stared at Yunho with wide eyes and ragged breathing. Yunho could see the fear in his eyes, the slight twitch of his brow in anger, confusion perhaps.

“What’re you doin',” Mingi breathed heavily, but Yunho didn’t answer.

He grabbed Mingi by the collar of his shirt, his hands gripping the fabric to bring them closer, but Mingi pushed away. The tent was small, but they wrestled, Mingi’s larger hands able to push Yunho away from him with force.

Yunho’s heart pounded in his ears, it could’ve been the whiskey, but he felt like everything was happening in slow motion. Mingi’s hands all over him, loud pants and warm breath against his skin, somehow Mingi had taken the upper hand over him, one of Yunho’s wrists pinned under him.

Yunho stared up with wide eyes, tears almost falling from his lashes. When he locked eyes with Mingi, he didn’t see what he expected, someone who was angry, furious even. No, he saw a man who was just as scared as he was. The moonlight casting into the tent let Yunho barely make out the terrified expression Mingi's had.

Brows furrowed in worry, hand slightly shaking where he held Yunho down, his breath escaping him in short gasps. He didn’t say anything, but his lips were parted, mouth opening and closing a few times as if he was trying to say something.

Yunho didn’t give him the chance, simply grabbed him by the back of his neck when Mingi’s grip on his arm faltered, and brought their lips together in a rough kiss. He didn’t know what he was doing, he’d never kissed anyone before, not like this.

Regardless, they both kissed like they were hungry, starved. A moan left Mingi, and Yunho swallowed it whole, the taste of tobacco and whiskey still on his lips. And God were those lips were the softest thing Yunho had felt, so warm and inviting just as he imagined.

He didn’t think it could get much better until Mingi’s hips bucked forward when he deepened the kiss. The rough hint of friction made them both choke on a moan.

He barely had time to really register what happened before he was flipped on his stomach, jeans roughly pulled down, and Mingi holding onto the end of his shirt for purchase. He could hear Mingi spit into his hand, then pressing inside Yunho with the same hunger he had while kissing him.

Yunho let out a groan, his eyes clenching shut and head falling between his shoulders. Every thrust pushed him forward, the burn and stretch of it all making his eyes sting with tears, and his throat run dry. Despite it, his cock was so hard it hurt, straining against the front of his jeans as Mingi fucked him from behind.

He fisted the sheets of the blanket below him, biting his lower lip hard enough to draw blood. The adrenaline of it all mixed with the growing heat of arousal in his belly made him feel dizzy, like he would wake up from a wet dream at any moment.

But when he felt Mingi’s hand gripping his waist, it pulled him back into reality. Feeling him thrust into him like he’d been waiting for it all along is what reminded Yunho that it was all very much real. He could hear the deep groans of pleasure falling from Mingi’s lips as his pace got faster, chasing after his own release.

Yunho was close himself, it only took a few more thrusts from Mingi pushing his hips into the blanket below him for Yunho to unravel. The entire time he tried to be quiet, both of them were, but when Yunho came and a high-pitched, reedy whine ripped from his chest, jaw slack, and eyes rolled under his lids.

It was as if he could feel his own orgasm in his entire body, his toes curling, his back arching shamelessly. His knees nearly gave out after, if it weren’t for Mingi’s tight grip on his shirt and waist, he would’ve toppled right over.

Mingi had watched it unfold, now on the brink of coming himself. He couldn’t hold in his sounds either, a strew of curses and moans falling from his lips as he pulled out and came on Yunho’s shirt. “F-fuck,”

Yunho lay there, panting, eyes closed as he came down from the highest of highs he’s ever had. He heard Mingi collapse right next to him, and silence engulfed them once again.

It was then that Yunho realized what they had done, the severity of how far they’d gone. It was unspeakable, something that he knew was wrong. One of the biggest sins a man could commit. A sick feeling came over him immediately, guilt forming in his gut.

He turned to look at Mingi, who was already facing the other direction, face hidden. He looked like a child who had been scolded and was hiding away in shame. “Mingi–”

“Hush, it’s almost mornin',” Mingi replied.

Yunho was silenced, pressing his lips together harshly. For some reason, tears sprang in his eyes, not because he was hurt by Mingi’s words, but the emotions that were brewing within him felt too big for his body. Guilt, disgust, confusion, anger. He felt each one all at once.

He could’ve bothered Mingi, told him they’d talk it out then and there, but it wasn’t the time for that. Both he and Mingi knew it. So instead of crying or keeping Mingi and himself up with his woes, he lay back down, right where it all started.

Maybe in the morning, things will have washed over. Maybe Yunho will wake up fully clothed, and Mingi will still be outside the tent with coffee waiting. Maybe he’ll sigh in relief that it was all a wild dream he had, that he didn’t have to face the harsh reality of the truth.

Or maybe truth wouldn’t sting as bad if Mingi were by his side, if they could tackle it together. If they could just enjoy this time while it lasted. That’s what eventually lulled him to sleep, the distant dream of Yunho and Mingi together, somehow, someway.

The next morning was interesting to say the least. Yunho had awoken later than Mingi, who was cooking the last of their potatoes for breakfast. It was quiet, save for the birds chirping in the trees and the sound of their food sizzling over the fire.

Yunho thought maybe he should be the one to say something, he was the one who had started it in the first place. Instead, he sat at their camp silently, not a word spoken between the two. Maybe it was better that way, something that was one and done. Though the more Yunho thought about it, the less he wanted it to be true.

The rush, the feeling of it all, was something he’d never experienced before, and he wanted more. Though realistically, it might not happen, Mingi might reject him if he opened up. Regardless, there they sat, eating their breakfast in silence. Mingi barely even looked at Yunho, and when he did, it was stolen glances. Yunho could sense him staring when he wasn’t looking.

After their meal, Mingi retreated to the pasture. Having not been watched overnight, he didn’t have too much time to waste, anything could’ve happened while he wasn’t there. He quickly saddled his horse and set off, leaving Yunho with his own thoughts at their camp.

He tried his best to keep himself busy, washing their dishes from breakfast, chopping wood, feeding his horse, and fetching water. Still, with every task he worked on, he couldn’t get Mingi out of his head, the way his hand felt around his hips, the pounding of his heart, the feeling of Mingi’s skin under his fingers.

Even now, thinking about it made his face burn hot. Not only with arousal, but something more deeply rooted. Shame. Embarrassment. Guilt. The mix of emotions made Yunho feel like there was a rock settled in his stomach, weighing him down.

He couldn’t help but think he’d ruined everything, that Mingi hated him now. That he’d gone too far, or his worst fear: he’d tell the ranch owner the first chance he got. Though Yunho figured he wouldn’t, Mingi would be putting not only Yunho in danger, but himself, too.

The fact that Mingi reciprocated is what made Yunho certain he’d not tell. The way he kissed him was like he’d been waiting for the moment all his life. He could tell Mingi felt the same, but would he simply sweep it under the rug as something to never speak of again?

Yunho was still swimming in his thoughts as he made himself lunch, another meal of potatoes and whatever canned food they had left. He was so busy looking after the food cooking that he didn’t even hear Mingi walk up next to him until he saw his boots in the corner of his vision.

He looked up to see Mingi, his button-up was thrown over his shoulder, leaving only a white t-shirt underneath. The fabric clung to his frame from the thin sheen of sweat on his skin. Yunho swallowed, his throat ran dry.

“Food’s almost done,” Yunho spoke hesitantly. He focused his attention back to the fire, not wanting to meet Mingi’s eyes.

Though he could feel Mingi looking at him, his stare was boring into Yunho’s head like a spotlight in a dark room. It made the hair on the back of Yunho’s neck stand on end.

Mingi sat across from him, taking his cowboy hat off and running his hand through his sweat-damp hair. Yunho plated their food, passing one to Mingi but keeping his eyes downcast.

He was about to take his first bite when Mingi suddenly broke their tense silence. “Saw a coyote today. Fucker was huge.”

Yunho paused. He nearly didn’t know what to say, but he went along with it. Talking about coyotes was better than Mingi possibly being angry with him. “Did you get it?”

Mingi nodded as he chewed, “Sure did, my aims never faltered.”

The conversation was casual. Too casual, to the point that Yunho was suspicious. Why wasn’t Mingi upset? He didn’t even seem remotely bothered at all, as if what they did had never happened.

“And the sheep?” Yunho questioned. He lifted his gaze to look at Mingi, who was unsurprisingly already looking right at him. No shame, no shifty eyes. If he was having the same thoughts and anxiety as Yunho, he hid it well.

“Not one hurt, the old man would be happy about that, I reckon," Mingi chided. He shoveled another spoonful of food into his mouth, chasing it with a sip of watered-down coffee. There was a pause, and for a second, he looked hesitant, brow slightly furrowing before he spoke again. “We should go up to the pasture today, together.”

Yunho's stomach flipped at hearing this. He knew that meant more than what it let on. Now, what that exactly alluded to was unbeknownst to him. “Sure, sounds like a plan.”

He didn’t sound so sure, but if Mingi heard his uncertainty, he said nothing.

After rinsing their plates in the nearby stream, Yunho saddled his horse, fastening the buckles and checking the tautness of each one. Mingi had already been on his horse earlier, patiently waiting for Yunho with a cigarette between his lips. He’d put his button down back on after cooling off, but kept the top ones undone, letting the air cool him off.

Yunho couldn’t get over how he looked when he first arrived for lunch, sweat-slick skin and shirt barely hiding his toned torso underneath. It was sinful the way Yunho’s brain kept flashing that image, how it refused to let him push it away any longer. By the time they got to the herd, Yunho’s cheeks were tinted a dusty shade of pink, having thought about Mingi’s body the entire way.

There wasn’t much to tend to in terms of the sheep, they roamed in small groups, many of the lambs prancing around their mothers, bleating happily. Yunho watched as two of the lambs followed one another, a smaller one jumping around the elder, slightly taller than the other. The sight brought a small smile to Yunho’s lips.

Soon Mingi’s horse blocked his view, lambs now replaced with Mingi’s firm thighs under his jeans. Yunho rolled his eyes up to look at him, finding the other staring back at him under his tan hat.

“C’mon, let’s find somewhere to shoot the shit,” he nodded towards a nearby hill that overlooked the pasture. He was already on his way with his horse before Yunho could even agree, leaving him no choice but to follow.

The top of the hill was a great view, even of the camp below and the rest of the pasture beneath them. A lush green landscape with tall grass and surrounding trees. He found Mingi already sitting in the grass, his horse grazing nearby. He didn’t look over to Yunho, despite being able to hear him approaching.

He dismounted his horse, stomach fluttering under his ribs, and his mouth ran dry. He had to wipe his hands on his jeans as he walked over to Mingi, the clamminess of his palms distracting.
Yunho sat near him, legs stretched out underneath himself, leaning on his side. He fiddled with a piece of grass before plucking a small white flower from the ground and twirling it between his forefinger and thumb.

Yunho wanted to say something, but his tongue felt heavy in his mouth, the dryness adding to his inability to speak. He plucked a petal from the flower, mind racing with thoughts of what to say, how to address the growing elephant in the room.

“What’re we gonna do ‘bout our…” Mingi started, but paused, seemingly searching for the right word for their predicament. “Situation,”

Yunho plucked another petal from the flower, feeling the smooth, fuzzy surface before letting it fall to the ground. If he were honest with Mingi, would he be accepting? Was he going to propose that they should continue, as it never happened? He couldn’t let that go, the intimacy they shared, he knew he’d end up craving it. Shit, Mingi might want it too and not even know it yet.

“Well, it’s nobody’s business but ours,” Yunho settled. His own voice sounded more relaxed and steady than he felt. “It can be our secret,”

The corner of Mingi’s mouth upturned at that. Yunho could see it under the brim of his cowboy hat. He brought his fist to his mouth to hide his expression, the hint of a smile suppressed immediately. Yunho wished he could see it again, to see Mingi smiling unabashedly.

“I’m no queer though,” Mingi stated. It sounded more like something he was supposed to say rather than believe. As if he was trying to convince himself more than he was Yunho.

“Neither am I,” Yunho retorted. He wasn’t, he’d told himself again and again he wasn’t. He’d tried hard to get rid of any trace of homosexual tendencies he’d had over the years. Even went as far as pinching himself whenever he thought of other men. It never worked, the thoughts always came back, always made sure to make themselves known at the forefront of his brain. Now that he’s met Mingi, there was little denying it, but Yunho couldn’t bear to unpack that now.

It was a lie, and they both knew it deep down. But they didn’t dare address it. Bringing up their encounter was enough. Yunho looked down to see that there were only two petals of the flower left, both sitting right on top of another. He didn’t pluck them, instead continuing to spin the stem between his fingers.

“Why don’t we just enjoy what we have for now?” Yunho suggested timidly. He was blushing, he could feel it, and he could also feel Mingi’s eyes burning a hole through the brim of his dark cowboy hat. Despite most of Yunho’s face being covered, he still felt exposed under Mingi’s gaze.

Mingi thought it over for a beat, staring out into the pasture, after looking Yunho down, tongue running along the inside of his cheek. “Hm, we can try,”
Yunho looked up at him at this, eyes wide. That’s the last thing he expected Mingi to say, it wasn’t a no. It wasn’t a yes either, but it also didn’t completely cancel out the idea. Though when he looked at Mingi, he saw the nervousness, the anxiety. The way his fist was clenched in his lap, his lips pressed together in a tight line.

Maybe he was having the same thoughts as Yunho, only he hid it better. Yunho was the one who wore his heart on his sleeve–he always had.

Yunho had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling. “Our secret then?”

Mingi nodded, meeting Yunho’s excited eyes. “Our secret,”

Later that night, after their meagre dinner, they fell silent, Yunho retreating to his tent, which he’d left open for the sake of the night breeze flowing in. Mingi still sat by the fire, perched on a log with a cigarette between his lips and face covered by his hat. After their talk on the hill earlier in the day, they’d exchanged a few words, and Yunho hoped it wasn’t out of regret.

Mingi looked to be deep in thought as he sat there, hands clasped together in a way that reminded Yunho of all the prayers he’d said in his lifetime. In this moment, he prayed that Mingi would come and join him.

He didn’t know if Mingi would, but it was much warmer in there than it was outside. He left the tent open, just enough for Mingi to be able to peer inside if he wished to.

Yunho tried to relax, tried to ignore the way his heart beat quickly in his chest and the growing tension between the two of them. The night air felt heavy, charged, different than any other night with Mingi felt.

Just the night before was their encounter, and judging by the way they both danced around the subject the next morning, it’d be no easy feat to make it happen again. Yunho had never really thought how to initiate such things with another person. What was he to do? Ask Mingi to touch him the same way he did before?

No, that didn’t sound right to him. Not to mention that Yunho could probably never bring himself to even ask him that in the first place. So what was the right way?

When he really thought about it, there wasn’t any. Maybe it had to happen naturally, without even mentioning it to one another. Yunho had so much as kissed another person other than Mingi, let alone have sex with them.
Maybe Mingi was much more well-versed than Yunho was, but in reality, it didn’t seem that way. He saw the way Mingi had stared down at him with such fear in his eyes, which had to have been his first sexual encounter, too. Even if it wasn’t, there was no way he’d done it with another man before.

Yunho was lost in his thoughts, daydreaming until Mingi walked up to the open tent. When Yunho looked up at him, he had his tan hat right over the crotch of his jeans, trying to subtly hide an erection. Only Yunho had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn’t as embarrassed as he led on.

Mingi's eyes were flighty, not looking at Yunho directly, instead focusing his attention on his body. Lingering on his still exposed chest. His bottom lip was caught between his teeth, and he shifted his weight from foot to foot nervously.

He was waiting for an invitation. To be told he could join Yunho in their now acquainted space.

“C’mere,” Yunho said softly, just enough for Mingi to hear him. He outstretched his arms, giving Mingi the permission he was waiting for.

Mingi was on him in seconds, head laid on his chest and wrapped in Yunho’s embrace. The weight was grounding for Yunho, the warmth of the other man's body quelling his previous nerves almost instantly. He gently ran a hand through Mingi’s messy brown hair, nails ever so slightly scratching at his scalp.

He wrapped around Yunho like a child with a stuffed toy, eyes shut tight and refusing to let go. “It’s okay, no one can see us here,” Yunho soothed.

He knew Mingi needed comfort, intimacy. The weight of their agreement, of what really occurred, had hit him. Yunho only wished he had the same comfort when he realized he wasn’t like those around him.

Mingi finally met his eyes, and suddenly that fear he held was gone, instead filled with something else. Something longing, yearning, as if he was speaking with his gaze instead of talking.

When Yunho leaned in, he only met Mingi halfway before he was the one closing the gap between them, his calloused hand resting on the nape of Yunho’s neck. It was slow at first, soft and gentle in complete contrast to the night before.

Yunho could taste the hint of tobacco on Mingi’s tongue, mixed with the scent of sweat and skin filling his senses. It was such a manly aroma, one that shouldn’t have Yunho as worked up as he was, but the growing heat in his stomach told him otherwise.

Mingi was gentler, softer, and not as rough in handling Yunho as he had been the night before. He could see it in his eyes, too, the way he peered down at Yunho with such soft eyes, deep brown that Yunho could see himself getting lost in.

Much like how he was currently losing himself in Mingi’s touch, how his hand gripped his smaller hips with a firm hold, pulling him against Mingi’s own erection. When he rolled his hip down, Yunho let out a soft moan, his face flooding with heat as soon as the sound left his mouth.

Mingi didn’t seem to mind, in fact, he did it again, pressing his lips against Yunho’s to swallow down the sweet sounds. “You sound just like a girl,” he breathed.

It wasn’t meant to be offensive, at least that’s not how Yunho took it at all. Instead, a harsh shiver coursed through his body as if a cold wind blew through the tent, only there was none. Just the heat of their two bodies pressed together, sweat beginning to bead across their flushed skin. Yunho’s cock twitched pathetically between his thighs at the comment, and for the first time, being called a girl didn’t make him feel less than. It didn’t cut deep like it would have coming from his peers.

No, this time it made Yunho so painfully hard he felt like he might ejaculate right then in his jeans. He stared up at Mingi, mouth slightly agape, at a loss for words. Mingi’s brow twitched slightly before his eyes widened at the corners.

“No, I ain’t mean it like that–”

“I know,” Yunho interjected. He knew exactly what Mingi meant. “I–I just,” he nibbled on his lower lip as he searched for the right words. “It’s never made me feel that way before.”

Mingi seemed confused at first, his head tilting slightly until it clicked. “Oh?” Yunho could almost see the wheels turning in his head. “You like it?”

Yunho nodded sheepishly. His blush had flushed down his neck and spread over his chest by now. Still, Mingi didn’t seem phased, not a hint of judgment on his face.

“I like it too, the noises you make,” Mingi admitted. Only he was much less shy about it, like most things, he spoke with a bluntness to his tone. He didn’t look away from Yunho either, instead holding his gaze until it dropped to Yunho’s parted spit spit-slick lips.

Yunho was the one to close the gap this time, surging forward to meet Mingi with a kiss so bruising it made their teeth knock together. The intimacy still hung thick in the air, now with an extra layer of hunger and desperation.

His shaky fingers fumbled with the buttons of Mingi’s shirt until his hands were gently knocked away. He was much better at quickly ridding himself of his shirt, tossing the piece of fabric to the side.

Yunho’s eye couldn’t help but wander, now with unabashed fervor, his gaze fell over Mingi’s broad chest, his toned arms, and wide shoulders tapering off into a much smaller waist. His skin was a rich shade of honey all over, with a trail of hair underneath his navel, and it disappeared under the waistband of his jeans. Yunho had to swallow down the saliva that pooled in his mouth from the sight, beforehand shrouded in darkness, he hadn’t had the chance to truly see Mingi. Now that had all changed, and how lucky Yunho felt.

He could feel the roughness of Mingi’s larger hands on his skin, running along his sides, stopping right at his waist, and kneading. “So small, so delicate,” Mingi muttered, leaning down to press kisses along Yunho’s bare chest.

“F-fuck” Yunho breathed. It was bad enough he’d already fantasized about the difference in size between the two of them, for Mingi to point it out made Yunho feel warm all over.

When Mingi’s kisses led him to Yunho’s pert nipple, he paused for a moment, tongue darting out to wet his lower lip as if he were trying to decide what to do next. Yunho had no clue what he had up his sleeve until he felt the wet heat of Mingi’s tongue lapping right over the sensitive bud.

“O-oh, do that again,” Yunho stammered over his words clumsily. He didn’t know his own nipples could be so sensitive, but when Mingi licked again, he felt his cock throb hard enough to make him gasp in surprise.

Mingi did it again, only this time swirling his tongue around, teasing the most beautiful whimpers from Yunho under him. He moved from one nipple to the other, swirling his tongue around the bud until it became swollen and slick with spit.

When he looked up at Yunho again, there was a hunger in his eyes, his lids low with lust. Yunho again felt like a predator eyeing its prey, watching, waiting for the right moment to make a move.

“Need you,” Yunho panted. He gripped Mingi’s biceps, squeezing the firm muscle under his fingers. “Please need you to–”

His words were caught in his throat as Mingi caught him in another bruising kiss, the other man’s tongue licking in his mouth as if he was trying to memorize each crevice that was Yunho. He melted instantly, letting Mingi have his way with him as he wrapped his arms around his waist.

Mingi hovered over him, and the sight was something that Yunho had only dreamt of. His larger frame completely engulfed his much smaller one, encompassing him, all that was clouding his senses was Mingi. There was no rush, they could take their time, slowly getting to know one another’s bodies, learning what made each other feel good.

Mingi was strong enough to pull Yunho up with him into a seated position, letting his long and slender legs wrap around his hips and his hands holding the back of his head. The way that Mingi handled Yunho made spin, knowing that Mingi could easily move him around as if he weighed nothing.

His larger hands grabbed at the meat of his ass, then squeezed, eliciting a gasp from Yunho. “I want to be inside you again,” Mingi panted, his voice low, laced with arousal. “Can’t stop thinkin’ bout how you felt around me.”

Yunho felt a tingling low in his stomach, the words tumbling out of Mingi’s mouth only added to his arousal. His ears reddened as he met his hips, embarrassed but not enough to stop their acts. “Thought you were mad at me, t-thought you hated me,” Yunho spoke quickly and breathlessly. “Spent the whole day wonderin’ what to say, how badly I want you.”

Mingi’s jaw clenched, not by means of annoyance. Yunho could tell by the dark look in his eyes that it was something more akin to lust, hunger. His rough hands ran along Yunho’s skin in a way that made goosebumps form. He squeezed at Yunho’s sides like he was afraid of him getting away, trying to hold onto what he had.

“I’m not mad,” Mingi mumbled. Slowly, he leaned into him, stopping to mouth at a spot along Yunho’s neck, “Been thinkin’ bout you too.”

Yunho choked on a moan. Not only from the stimulation of their cocks grinding against one another under their jeans, but his openness. His soft yet rough tone. Without hesitation, he fumbled with the button of Mingi’s jeans, fingers still shaking with excitement.

Suddenly, the mood inside the tent shifted, a new layer of raw yearning that was palpable. They both wanted one another, and they both knew it had been brewing for longer than either thought. When Yunho’s lithe fingers wrapped around Mingi’s cock, he groaned from the contact. Something deep, low, and feral.

He was so hard that Yunho could practically feel it throbbing in his hand, the head slick with a copious amount of pre-cum. It was weighty, with a considerable girth that he’d become well acquainted with the previous night. Though Yunho was inexperienced, he stroked him the same way he would himself, at a steady pace with a firm grip.

Mingi breathed out against the crook of Yunho’s neck, tongue lapping over a particularly sensitive spot that went straight to his own erection. “Ohh, fuck, keep going,”

He wasn’t nearly as shaky when he quickly opened Yunho’s jeans, calloused fingers and large hands around his length in record speed. It was surreal in a way, the feeling of another man touching him so intimately, so gently, yet with unbridled fervor. When the pad of his thumb brushed over the head of Yunho’s cock and applied the slightest pressure to the slit, a hiss of pleasure escaped him.

Yunho could help but thrust into the other man's hand, thighs squeezing around Mingi from the spike of pleasure. The pace Mingi had set was maddening, consistent, with a stable rhythm and a firm grip. His own hand on Mingi faltered, losing focus in his arousal.

It mattered none to Mingi, he moved Yunho’s fingers to add his own cock to his fist, both of them rutting together like youngins given their final chance of alonetime. And that it was, their opportunity to do the unthinkable with no judgment, no prying eyes, no hardened stares.

“Oh, it feels good,” Yunho whined. He was so sensitive, the amount they were both leaking lubricated Mingi’s hand just enough for the perfect glide. He wasn’t able to fully wrap his hand around their lengths, but the friction of Yunho bucking into him and his thumb brushing over their cockheads was more than enough. “Feels so fucking good,”

“Yeah?” Mingi chided, there was almost a hint of pride in his tone. A streak of confidence from making Yunho squirm right in his lap. He stuck his tongue out to wet his lips before continuing. “You like the way I make you feel?”

Yunho had to squeeze his eyes shut, for if he looked at Mingi directly, he might cum sooner than he wanted. He could feel himself teetering on the edge already. “Y-yes,” his cheeks burned something fierce, shame, but desire clouded the emotion. “Like your hands, rough, big, manly.”

Mingi let out another low groan at this, and Yunho could feel his cock twitch hard between them. His strokes quickened, becoming more sloppy, more desperate. He was quiet for the most part, just like he’d been the night before. Only letting out grunts and heavy sighs of passion. He was much too focused on raking his eyes over Yunho, watching the way his lean muscles tensed with every downstroke.

It didn’t take much more for Yunho to come, just a few more thrusts into Mingi’s toughened hand, and suddenly, he was seeing stars. A toe-curling wave of pleasure washed over him like none other, his finger gripping at Mingi’s forearms for purchase as he let out a moan that was sure to wake any nearby wildlife.

Streaks of thick milky cum spurt from his length hard enough to splash up on their chests, his cock throbbing so strongly he could barely hold himself up. Mingi held him close, their sweat-slick skin burning hot. He muttered words into Yunho’s ear as he came right behind him, a series of curses falling from his lips. “Uh, huh fuck Yunho,”

He kept his hand at a languid pace, continuing to stroke them until their orgasms subsided and cocks were too sensitive. Yunho felt a sense of post-cotial bliss overtaking him, like a warm blanket had been draped over his senses, surrounding him from every angle.

He finally opened his eyes, seeing the mess of their fluids between them, the sweat and cum that coated their chests and stomachs. Then Mingi, his low-lidded eyes, how he wasn’t afraid to look right at Yunho, not a lick of shame.

“Don’t think I’ve ever come so hard,” he panted, voice wavering ever so slightly. He pushed his damp hair off his brow, then moved to pick up one of their shirts to wipe up their mess. “The way you moan, s’like I can’t get enough.”

Yunho gnawed at his bottom lip, letting Mingi wipe away the mess they’d created. “I reckon you’re a sinner now, aren’t ya?”
A grin formed on Mingi’s lips, one that showed the slightly crooked front tooth. “Guess so,” he responded. Yunho was still in his lap, and his hand was resting on his hip, thumb brushing over his smooth skin. “It don’t bother you, does it?”

Yunho didn’t think twice as he shook his head, bottom lip jutting out in habit. “Don’t bother me none,”

An even bigger smile bloomed on Mingi’s face, and Yunho hoped he could make it happen more often. See him smiling unabashedly instead of the cold demeanor he sported. He could get used to seeing him softer, more expressive, less afraid to show what he was truly thinking.

Not a single soul to tell them they had to man up, put on a brave face, and pretend like the feelings they had weren’t there. Inside that tent, it was just them, and their little world seemed so big in comparison to the vast mountains that surrounded them.

The following days were much more picturesque. Trots along the pasture, open fields, and warm sun. Cold evenings and nights, eating quiet yet engaging dinners together. These were times they sipped whisky to help warm them around the fire, quelled their hunger after a day's hard work.

It was nearing nightfall, and as much as Yunho wanted him to stay at his camp for the night, he knew Mingi needed to keep watch. He’d just told Yunho about a sheep they’d found gored in the middle of the night by either a coyote or some other animal. The smell was putrid as they moved it, burying it beneath the earth.

They couldn’t afford to lose anymore, or else they’d both suffer cuts to their pay. So instead of voicing his true wants, he bit at the inside of his cheek as they sat next to each other in front of the fire.

He could almost feel Mingi’s gaze on him, feel the weight of his eyes on his skin. Yunho had some sort of sixth sense when Mingi glanced at him, he could tell when the other man laid eyes upon him without even having to look up. Perhaps he could tell there was something weighing on Yunho’s mind, waiting to see if he would bring it up before he had to leave for the night.

There was more on Yunho’s mind than just Mingi staying with him, as much as he wanted it. Despite their beating around the bush, Mingi hadn’t fucked him since that night Yunho initiated it. Plenty of heavy kisses and quick handjobs, but nothing inside, and the way Yunho longed for it was something fierce.

Though he was too embarrassed to ask, the urge to feel Mingi inside of him again was nearly winning. Eating away at his morals, his father’s voice ringing in the back of his mind. The few things he’d learned in church still lingered with him.
To ask Mingi to fuck him was everything he wanted, and everything he feared. He sat there, stealing glances under the brim of his cowboy hat until he could work up the courage to speak. “You know,” he cleared his throat to sound a bit more compelling. “You can stay down here tonight.”

“I can’t,” Mingi interrupted. It wasn’t with a harsh tone, but firm. Unrelenting. “You know I can’t.”

Yunho let out a sigh, tongue in his cheek as he tried not to say what he really wanted. Though the urge felt like an itch he just couldn’t quite scratch. “That old man talks nonsense anyway, one night won’t do no harm.”

Mingi squinted his eyes a bit, brow furrowing just the slightest. “We already lost enough sheep, you know our pay will suffer. Better I keep watch.”

With that he rose from his spot by the fire, leaving Yunho sitting alone, staring into the cracking flames. It was as if he had his own fire burning inside him, deep within his guts, a feeling he’d never truly longed for before.

He could hear Mingi ready to saddle up behind him, the shuffling of his boots in the dirt, the soft whines of his horse as he gathered his things. Suddenly, before Yunho knew it he was standing, on his feet and heading towards Mingi as if he were truly angry.

“You haven’t fucked me,” Yunho panted as he stood right in front of Mingi’s horse, stopping him from leaving. It was vulgar the way he’d said it, but enough to make Mingi pause, his hands faltering on the bag he was holding momentarily.

He turned to Yunho, his jaw set so tight that the veins in his neck were visible. “You want me to?”

Suddenly, the confidence that Yunho held before left him, a chilly breeze whipping past them that made him shiver and nearly shrink back. It was silly, throwing a near tantrum for something that he could never ask anyone else for. But that was the thing, he knew he couldn’t get it anywhere else. “Yes,” he answered after a pause, voice much softer than it was.

Mingi stared Yunho down, from his mud-covered boots, to his blue jeans stained with dirt, to his green jacket that kept him warm from the night air. Then his face, the pink-tinged cheeks, the natural pout of his lips, the innocence in his eyes. “Not tonight.”

Yunho wanted to scream. Wanted to yank Mingi down from his seat on his horse and push him to the ground in anger. He didn’t like to be told no, especially if it was something he’d wanted for so long. His chest rose and fell with quick breaths. It was cold that night, so he could see his breath condensing in the air.

“Why not? You ain’t man enough?”
This is what triggered Mingi, he dismounted his horse so quickly that Yunho barely had time to register it. Though he and Mingi were the same height, he loomed over Yunho, his wide shoulders blocking his view. He could smell the scent of sweat and skin, mixed with a sharper note of whiskey.

“Take it back.” Mingi looked at Yunho like he was seconds away from starting a fight. His fist balled up at his sides, voice laced with a bite that Yunho hadn’t heard from him before.

For some reason, Yunho wasn’t scared, even if he did stand there shaking like a leaf rustling through the wind. He looked Mingi right in his eyes, not backing down. “I’ll take it back when you fuck me as you did all those nights ago.”

Mingi took a deep inhale through his nose, lips downturned in a slight frown as he studied the man in front of him. Yunho didn’t want to have to go to such extremes, most likely picking at one of Mingi’s insecurities just to get a rise out of him. But even negative attention was better than none at all.

Mingi took hold of Yunho’s arm so hard it was going to leave bruises in its wake. He said nothing, simply dragging Yunho back towards the camp by his arm as if he weighed nothing. He had no choice but to stumble and follow, even if he refused to be pulled. Mingi was strong enough to drag him through the dirt with his one arm.

He pushed him down near one of the moss-covered logs in front of the fire, Yunho’s hands coming forward to break his fall. He hit the ground with a grunt, his cowboy hat falling off of his head and landing in the dirt in front of him. He was just about to let out an apology before Mingi leaned over him, kneeling behind him with a firm grip on his lower back. Caging him in so he couldn’t move.

And Yunho did try to get up, his boots digging into the earth beneath his feet to try and get Mingi off of him, but the weight was too much. He was pinned against the log, now regretting his words. “Mingi–”

Mingi took hold of the scruff of his neck, pulling at the hair hard, yanking his head back so he could whisper into his ear. “Talk enough shit, you’ll get what you were asking for tenfold.”

When Mingi pressed further against him, he could feel his erection against his back, hard and heavy. The feeling of both being manhandled and Mingi being so turned on made Yunho whine. It was what he wanted, to be roughed up, dragged around like he wasn’t strong enough to fight back.

Mingi took a deep inhale right along the column of his neck, a groan escaping him on the exhale. His hand clutched in Yunho’s hair so tight that the burn mixed with the thrums of arousal between his thighs. Tears sprang to Yunho’s eyes, fingers digging into the thick moss of the log he was pinned against.

He could hear the sound of Mingi unzipping his jeans, then his hands reaching around to do the same for Yunho. He was in no state to do it himself, the nerves and inability to move would’ve prevented him anyway. He let Mingi do all the work, roughly wrenching down his jeans and boxers until his bare cheeks were exposed to the cold night air.

“Please, Mingi, fuck, I need it so bad,” Yunho was rambling, letting the heat of the moment get to his head. “Need you to fuck me.”

Mingi only chuckled at his pleading, his cock resting right between his buttocks as his low voice spoke. “Gotta be careful what you wish for,”

He held his palm out in front of Yunho’s face, who looked at it confused, head tilting to the side and all. “Spit.” Mingi commanded, and that’s when it clicked. Of course, Mingi couldn’t penetrate him dry, so Yunho abided, collecting as much saliva as he could on his tongue before letting it fall past his lips and into Mingi’s hand.

“Good boy,” Mingi praised, and for some reason, the term made Yunho blush a shade of deep red. He wished to hear it again, Mingi’s praises for listening so well, his rough hand on his shoulder or the back of his neck. He wanted nothing more than to please, whatever it took for Mingi to fuck him senseless.

He could hear Mingi giving himself a few quick strokes beyond the loud pounding of his heart in his ears. All he could do was stare at the fire in front of him in anticipation. He felt Mingi moving into a better position behind him, still bearing most of his weight down, so Yunho had no choice but to lie there and take whatever was given to him.

And when Mingi finally breached his hole after crudely spitting right on the entrance for extra lubrication, the moan that Yunho let out was akin to a howl. His hands gripped the damp moss, nails scraping at the bark underneath for something to hold onto. The burn and stretch were the same as the first night, felt like he was being impaled, but his cock twitched hard with excitement below him.

Thankfully, Mingi was slow this time, letting him adjust inch by inch until he was fully seated inside him, muscles tense with exertion. He was breathing heavy, Yunho could feel his warm exhales against the back of his neck, his nose buried in his soft brown hair. “Shit, you’re squeezing me so tight,”

All Yunho could do was respond with a whine, trying to will Mingi to move by squirming under him, hoping he’d get the message. Mingi was inexperienced, but no fool, pressing Yunho down right between his shoulder blades and beginning a pace that was so brutal that Yunho was being pushed forward against the log with each thrust.

It wasn’t the gentle exploring and soft touches that they’d previously shared in the tent in recent nights. He was being fucked within an inch of his life, as if Mingi had been holding back this entire time.

Yunho loved every second of it, despite the burn of being stretched open, he could feel each deep thrust in his stomach. “Ohh, just like that,”

His words were garbled, but Mingi heard them just fine, his other hand gripping Yunho’s hip so hard that his blunt nails dug into his skin. “Begging me to fuck you, outta be ashamed of yourself,” he panted against Yunho’s skin.

Both of them were coated with a sheen of sweat despite the cold air around them. The fire still crackled in the background, their shared whiskey bottle abandoned by the pit. Yunho was ashamed to some extent, but his desire overruled it. He knew their time up here was limited, and he wanted as much of Mingi as he possibly could. Even if that meant begging.

He was already close to coming, his cock throbbed hard between his legs, and even though it was getting no direct stimulation, it still drooled fluid onto the ground below them from Mingi’s consistent thrusts. Just a little more, a bit rougher, more degrading talk from Mingi’s raspy voice, and he’d come all over the dirt.

Mingi seemed to be tethering close to the edge already, his thrusts quickening as well as his low grunts of passion. It wasn’t until he changed his angle and hit a certain spot that made Yunho’s toes curl in his boots and see stars. “O-oh fuck!”

As an electric current ran through Yunho, his body shuddered, the most wanton moan spilling past his lips. “God don’t s-stop,”

Yunho didn’t know what the feeling was, nor did he care. All he wanted was to cum with Mingi deep inside him and savor the feeling. Without a word, Mingi kept his pace and the new angle, hitting Yunho in the same spot over and over.

It didn’t take Yunho much longer to come, just a few more hard thrusts right against his prostat,e and he was coming harder than he did the first night they fucked. His legs trembled under him, and a series of moans let out into the night as he spurted his load over the ground.

Mingi was close behind as always, fucking into Yunho’s warm hole until he came, painting his insides with ropes of warm come. They both stilled after their orgasms, Mingi rolling over to lie in the dirt next to Yunho, while he still rested over the log, pants around his knees.

Finally, the itch that Yunho had was gone, only replaced with the satiated feeling of being fucked again. When he glanced over at Mingi, he was looking up at the sky. He turned his head as if he could feel Yunho’s eyes on him. “S’that what you wanted?”

Yunho couldn’t help the semi-sarcastic laugh that he let slip out. He brushed his sweaty hair off his brow just to be able to see Mingi better. “It was indeed, just gotta rile you up a bit I suppose.”

Mingi smiled at this too, turning to look back at the sky. His chest rose and fell quickly as he waited for his breathing to return to normal. “Guess you gotta wrangle the sinner outta me, just like a bull at a rodeo.”

Yunho caught his bottom lip between his teeth. He didn’t respond, but there was no need to. Mingi was right, he’d pulled him into his sinful thoughts and actions right along with him. But with the way Mingi made it seem, it had always been there, just waiting to be awoken like a sleeping bear. Maybe he’d felt the same way Yunho did his whole life. Knew he was different, knew that the thought of laying down with a woman didn’t elicit the same feelings as it did other men.

Either way, they’d both dipped their toes into a territory that was unspeakable to any other person. Never could they share their affections with anyone else, couldn’t even bring themselves to truly say what they wanted out loud. Yunho knew their time up on Brokeback wouldn’t last forever, but he would remember it as one of the best times of his life. Always wonder what would’ve happened if they could have had each other forever.

Now he wouldn’t dwell on it, instead, he’d lie there watching Mingi stare up at the night sky, maybe thinking the same thoughts Yunho was. Watch his profile illuminated by the orange hue of the fire and try to commit it to memory. He’d never forget Mingi, never forget Brokeback, never forget the summer that changed his life irrevocably.

The morning that Yunho awoke, there was a chill in the air that wasn’t there before. He’d slept alone that night, and Mingi was up with the fields like he was supposed to be, watching over the herd. Sunlight barely hit the tent as Yunho sat up, rubbing any lingering sleep out of his eyes. When he let out a yawn, followed by a harsh shiver from the cold, he could see his breath with his exhales.

The warmer season was almost over. Temperatures were growing cooler in the daytime and even colder at night. Early September meant it was nearly time to bring the sheep down the mountain for the autumn and winter months. Yunho tried not to think about it. He didn’t like the idea of having to part with Mingi and going back to his normal life. He wasn’t sure if he could after experiencing what he had.

After the night of Mingi fucking him next to the fire, it ignited something within them. No longer were the gentle touches within their tent under the night sky, though that still happened occasionally. Instead, they were much more forward, or at least Mingi was. There were plenty of times they’d be trekking through the woods after seeing to the sheep for the day when Mingi couldn’t take it anymore. Having watched Yunho all day, he’d pull him to the side within the trees and take him right there along the trail.

Or there were times when Yunho would say something, tease Mingi just enough to get under his skin and tempt him to manhandle Yunho just the way he liked. It didn’t take much to get Mingi going either, just one teasing sentence about his skills or capabilities, and he was riled up just how Yunho wanted.

They’d also taken to roughhousing. Yunho put up a bit of a fight when Mingi got rough, and they’d wrestle until Mingi had the upper hand, which he’d let happen with a dopey grin on his face. Both of them hard within their jeans as they tousled around in the dirt.

When Yunho opened his tent, he was met with a layer of white snow right outside. The trees were coated with powdery white, as was the rest of the mountain. The brightness nearly blinded him as he crawled out of his tent and hugged his arms around himself for more warmth. He glanced up towards the rest of the range, hoping that Mingi wasn’t currently buried in a layer of snow in the middle of the night.

It would melt as the warmer temperatures set in during the afternoon, but nighttime snowfall had become more regular in the past few days. At such a high elevation, there was no telling how much would fall, or if an incoming storm would have them stuck in their places until it passed over.

Yunho made quick work of clearing the fire pit of fresh snow and gathering dry logs for a fire. Thankfully, he and Mingi had covered the wood to keep it from getting wet in the elements overnight. Once a good flame was going, he added a considerable amount of dry wood until it grew warm enough to boil a pot of water over.

He liked to have coffee ready by the time Mingi came down the mountain, and though Mingi never said it outright, he knew he appreciated it. After sleeping up there in the cold darkness all night, there was nothing like a hot cup of coffee to warm him up from the inside.

By the time he had the metal percolator over the fire, the sun had fully risen, and the snow was slowly melting. He could hear Mingi’s horse trotting down the trail as he peeled potatoes for their breakfast. Yunho had gotten better at cooking since switching from night duty. Now he was able to make their food without accidentally over–or undercooking their spuds.

Yunho poured out two mugs, one extra strong and the other brewed normally. He didn’t have to look behind him, just set the other mug near the fire to keep warm until Mingi sat next to him. He let out a deep sigh as he did, most likely running on only a few hours of sleep. His gloved hand reached for the mug Yunho’d set aside, a hum of pleasure as he took a sip.

“Woke up in snow damn near to my knees this mornin’,” he mumbled. Yunho had learned that Mingi wasn’t a huge fan of the cold, but put up with it since he had no choice. A soft smile formed on his lips.

“Thankfully, it melts by high noon,” Yunho replied. He took a sip of his own coffee, taking a moment to move the cooking food around in the pot. Though he was growing tired of the same food, being hungry enough after a long day's work would have him eating anything put in front of him.

“How’d you fare last night?” Mingi asked. Even though he was the one staying up and losing sleep, braving the cold at higher elevations, he still asked. His way of showing that he cared, that he thought about Yunho. It was becoming more regular that he’d ask about his day. If they hadn’t had the chance to talk during the day, at supper, they’d talk about their afternoons. Something domestic about it, truly. Almost gave Yunho a glimpse of what could be.

Yunho was honest with his response. “Fire kept me company, I slept like a brick.” He took their cooking from the coals they rested on and set one in front of Mingi. This time, they’d gotten some salted bacon, so Yunho had added it to their mix of beans and potatoes.

After some more grumbled words about the weather from Mingi, they ate in relative silence. Yunho brewed another round of coffee, while Mingi busied himself gathering more wood. Their reserve was getting low, and soon they’d have to chop down another tree.

Yunho sipped his coffee slowly, he savored it much like their early mornings and late evenings together. It wasn’t until Mingi rummaged through his bag and pulled something out that his attention was piqued.

“Been working on this for a while,” Mingi mentioned. In his hand was one of his wooden carvings. It wasn’t quite done yet, but Yunho could just make out the head and body of a small lamb. “I know the lambs in your pasture are your favorite.”
A dopey grin spread across Yunho’s lips as he took the figure that Mingi handed him to inspect. It fit right in the palm of his hand, and the details were so fine he had to hold it close to really examine it. He ran his thumb over the ridges of the carved fur, the smoothness of hours of careful whittling. “You're making it for me?” Yunho looked up at the other man, who averted his eyes when they met.

Not that Mingi didn’t like looking at Yunho, quite the contrary. He simply struggled with showing his liking; years of being bullied and scared out of him had forced him to repress it. “I did, something about the youngin’s reminds me of you,” he replied while staring into his mug of coffee.

Despite him not looking at Yunho, he could still see the slight upturn of his lips as he spoke. His deep voice was soft and gentle, a tone he used only between the two of them. Yunho didn’t think twice before he moved to wrap his arms around Mingi, embracing the other man tightly. His hat was accidentally knocked off his head, and he had barely enough time to move his mug away to keep from spilling it.

A grunt escaped Mingi from the sudden impact, his hands at his sides for a moment as if unsure of what to do. Yunho didn’t mind, nor did he care as he pulled the other that much closer, nose brushing against the skin of his neck and inhaling deeply. “It’s beautiful, thank you, Mingi.”

It took a few moments, but Mingi let out a soft chuckle before resting his hand on the back of Yunho’s head, fingers threading through his mop of brown hair. “Alright, don’t get all sappy on me now, s’just a lil figure.”

Yunho pulled away, still with a shy smile on his face, ears tinged that pretty shade of pink they got when he was embarrassed. Sure, it was just a simple carving, but to Yunho it was much more than that. It was a memento, a show of their time together, something that he could cherish and remember. He knew Mingi knew it too; it was a gift.

“A figure I’ll keep forever,” he replied, picking up Mingi’s hat that had fallen beside them. He dusted off any stray dirt before placing it back on Mingi’s head so it covered his eyes. “My new good luck charm.”

This time, Mingi smiled brightly, unable to suppress it any further, reaching up to push his hat back. His smile was something Yunho had grown to love. Hoped to bring out of him every day. He loved seeing the way his eyes crinkled at the corners and the boyishness of his features. Underneath all of the hard exterior, that was just what they were, young men just emerging from boyhood.

He handed it back to Mingi, even the softest of touches made his skin tingle in its wake. They stuck around each other that day, chopping wood, fetching water, feeding their horses, and of course, Holly. Yunho had grown to love him too, taking time to sometimes play with the overexcited dog.
Later in the afternoon, a grim sea of clouds rolled over the mountain peaks, darkening the sky to such a point that Yunho looked up to see where the sun had gone. It was then that he felt something hit his cheek. Instead of the light kiss of a raindrop, it stung the skin it struck. Hail. Hard and fast, it rained down in a matter of seconds, each tiny piece of ice leaving a burn behind from the sheer velocity it fell from the sky.

“Shit!” Yunho hissed. He pulled his hat down a bit more to shield his face, dropping the axe he held in the dirt and making a beeline for the canvas tent. It wouldn’t do much to keep the hail from hitting him, but it was better than being pelted directly.

By the time he reached the tent in a full sprint, Mingi was there already, his head peeking out from between the flaps as if he were looking for Yunho. Once he’d spotted him running up the trail, he opened the flap just enough to let him rush in.

Yunho had made it just in time before the storm got real bad. Now, thick sheets of frozen pellets of ice were raining from the sky. It landed on the tent so hard that they had to stretch their arms out just to keep it standing.

“Your ass would’ve been screwed had you been up the mountain,” Yunho had to raise his voice to be heard over the sound of the hailstorm.

“Sure would’ve, I’ve taken some beatings, but hail hurts like a bitch,” he replied. Yunho could see some of the now reddening marks on his arms from being pelted down on. He’s sure he had a mark on his own cheek from the ice. “You think it’ll be over soon?”

Mingi had a slight worry in his tone when he asked, almost like he was scared they’d have to leave the range. He looked over at Yunho with a hopeful glint in his eye, perhaps wishing his worry was just fleeting.

“I hope so,” Yunho soothed. He didn’t want to be sent down the mountain either. Even if the weather was bad, they still had another few weeks before they were set to leave. Though for some reason this year, fall weather wanted to come early. “Hail never lasts more than a few minutes.”

Mingi stuck his hat out of the flap of the tent to catch the ice in it. He pulled his hand back quickly from the sting. Just from the few seconds, the bowl of the hat had been nearly half full. “Ion know much bout hail, but this looks more than a few minutes.”

Yunho chewed on his bottom lip nervously. It was a torrential downpour, and completely unexpected at that. He could only pray that it’d pass soon.

After about fifteen minutes of waiting it out, the hail stopped, now just a light sprinkling of rain. Stepping outside of the tent, the campsite looked as if a train had passed through. The fire had been put out by the ice, and their equipment had been scattered by the winds. Though neither of their minds was focused on the camp, the sheep were the real issue. Though there were plenty of places for the herd to try and take cover, the sheep weren’t the smartest from Yunho’s experience. Last year's storm was so difficult that it was impossible to keep some sheep from running off out of fear that they’d simply give up.

This time, when they arrived at the herd, they were met with something they didn’t expect. Their sheep were fine, but somehow had mixed in with another herd grazing further in the range. The other ranchers looked at the mess with hands on their hips in frustration as he and Mingi arrived.

Both were off their horses in an instant, and the other ranch hands looked to be just as shocked as they were. Hundreds of sheep mixed in with theirs. Yunho approached them calmly, but he could feel the annoyance bubbling up within him already.

The other man was shorter than him by a few inches, his lip pressed in a tight line from worry. “The storm got ‘em all together, we’re awfully sorry,” he apologized before even giving Yunho the chance to speak.

All Yunho could do was sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose. It would take hours, if not days, to differentiate the two herds. Their coats were marked with paint on the belly, but sifting through upwards of 400 sheep would be a headache Yunho wasn’t willing to have.

“Are y’alls marked at all?” Yunho asked. He was trying his best to keep calm, but he feared his tone was harsher than he meant it to be. When the shorter man shook his head, he turned towards Mingi, giving him a look from under his hat. “Goddammit,”

“Why don’t you start separating them, and I’ll do the talking?” Mingi suggested. He was much more level-headed than Yunho was in that moment, and for some reason, it felt like they’d switched shoes. Suddenly, Yunho was the one who was aggressive and Mingi the one to set everything straight.

Yunho stalked off after waving a dismissive hand towards the others. He was in no mood to try and argue. The hail had melted partially by now, leaving the plains to be mush under his boots. He started on the edge, working his way in, muttering curses under his breath as he checked each animal for the marking on their fur.

By the time Mingi joined him, he’d only sorted about 20 sheep out, keeping them separate from the rest. It wasn’t easy work; sheep weren’t used to being picked up or handled unless they were lambs, and Yunho had his fair share of hooves flying and bleats of protest.

Again, Mingi seemed more partial, he helped sort and keep them separate. Though after some time, even he became frustrated with the ordeal. “Would the old man know if the sheep weren’t his?”

Yunho sighed, he’d just dragged another sheep towards their growing group. He adjusted the hat on his head as he walked towards the other. “Shit, probably not, as long as they're the same color and count it should suffice.”

Mingi hummed in agreement. They didn’t have all day to sort through the merged herds, and if their pay took a hit because of it, then so be it. The other two ranch hands tried to sort their herd as well, but they weren’t much faster than Yunho and Mingi were. Mingi shot him a sidelong glance before turning back to him. “They should’ve known better than to situate their herd so close to ours.”

It was true, having two herds of sheep so closely together could cause confusion such as this. An amateur mistake on the other's part. After some careful deliberation, they decided to simply pick out the ones that looked as similar as their own. It sped up the process, and by nightfall, they’d met their original count.

It was a laborious process, but they’d managed it, and after such a long day, there was nothing like whiskey near the fire to make them feel better. Yunho had taken notice of how much they both enjoyed this time. The nightfall brought animosity between the two. The shroud of darkness where they felt more emboldened to do things they wouldn’t dare in the daytime.

They sat close together, their shoulders brushing together as they passed the quickly emptying bottle between them. It was getting late, but Mingi made no move to head up to the fields. He stayed right by Yunho, enjoying his warmth and company.

“Tell me more about this woman you’re set to marry,” Yunho pressed. It was probably the whiskey talking, he wouldn’t ask such a question sober. He could feel Mingi tense beside him, the quick hardening of his muscles when the words left his mouth.

“Not sure what else there is to say. She’s pretty, from a good family. Got her wits about her.” Mingi replied. It was as if he was trying to come up with something, anything about the woman that sounded pleasing. Not things one would necessarily marry a person for.

He ran his tongue along the inside of his cheek as he pondered. “I’m not sure if I could marry someone like that.”

Mingi’s eyebrow rose at this. “What a pious, nice woman?”

“No, a woman in general,” he replied.

There was a heavy pause after this. Yunho felt like he needed to fill it, somehow backtrack on his words and take back what he’d said. But there was no use. He’d already told the truth, and there was no denying it. The thought of him marrying a woman one day made him feel sick, an unsettling feeling in his gut.

Mingi didn’t say anything at first. Just stared into the fire while breathing steadily. “Sometimes I wonder if I can too.”

The answer made Yunho turn to him with a wide-eyed expression. Suddenly, he didn’t feel so alone in his thoughts. He knew there had to be other men out there who felt the same, though they could never voice their feelings. But now that Mingi had done so, it made Yunho feel as if he wasn't the only one struggling with the idea of a wife and children. “Then why do it at all?”

Mingi sighed, held a deep breath in his lungs before exhaling steadily. “It’s what a man is supposed to do, isn’t it? Get married, have kids, provide for his family,”

“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Yunho interjected. He was in front of Mingi now, kneeling in the dirt between his legs. He had his hands on either side of Mingi’s thick thighs as he spoke, a certain desperation in his voice. “We could have a place of our own, a little ranch, where we live together and–”

“That’s not possible.” Mingi cut him off before he could even finish. He turned his head so as not to make eye contact with the boy kneeling in front of him. “Someone would find us either way.”

Yunho’s brow furrowed at this. It was certain that they were in a climate that wasn’t accepting of their preferences, but to him, that didn’t mean they had to hide away from it. “Mingi, we could have a good life, one away from prying eyes, just imagine.”

Though Mingi couldn’t. He couldn’t dare bring himself to think of two men living together in solitude without someone eventually suspecting something of them. “It’s just not realistic, Yunho.” His voice was a touch softer than before. As if he was trying to tell him the truth more easily, that way he didn’t react too harshly.

Yunho had thought this over many times. His parents had more than enough land for them to build their own little home and have privacy. They could have their own livestock and livelihoods away from society's expectations of them both. Anything to keep Mingi from going and marrying some girl that he didn’t want to be with anyway. “Says who?”

“Says everyone. If we can’t fix it, we have to stand it.”

That sentence stuck with Yunho. Even after their shared time there, it ran through his thoughts like a bell that wouldn’t stop ringing. ‘If we can’t fix it, we have to stand it.’

Is that what their time together meant to him? So unfathomable that he couldn’t even imagine a better situation for the two? His grip on Mingi’s knee tightened, and he could feel the telltale sting in his eyes from tears. Though he didn’t dare let them fall. He knew there was no use in trying to get Mingi to understand. Perhaps it was just wishful thinking on his part.

How silly was Yunho to think that they’d be together after returning to their normal lives? Of course, Mingi couldn’t just not marry the woman he was engaged to. Of course, they couldn’t live on his parents' farm. Eventually, Yunho would have to face reality, too.

Instead of replying, he simply sat there, between Mingi’s outstretched legs, and lay his head upon the other's chest. Yunho could hear the steady beating of his heart, smell the scent of sweat and tobacco on him that he loved so much. Mingi said nothing, simply letting Yunho get comfortable and resting a hand on his lower back.

If they couldn’t fix it, then they’d take every chance they had to stand it. Not take a single second with each other for granted while they still have one another. So there they sat, in silence under the stars, the weight of the world on their shoulders.

The storms became frequent over the next few days. So much so that the old ranch owner sent someone to tell them to head down the mountain early. A big one was coming, and wasn’t expected to be pretty. It was mid-August, and they still had about two weeks left before they ended their work, but Yunho knew the old man was notorious for cutting their time short. Anything to save a few dollars.

Yunho wasn’t surprised by the news. He’d known their time was numbered. Though breaking the news to Mingi wasn’t easy in the slightest. He’d come down from the fields on his horse when Yunho was dismantling the tent. “What’s all this?” Mingi looked around the camp that was now partially packed up. He seemed to be genuinely confused, brow furrowed as he watched Yunho carefully.

Yunho couldn’t even look him in the eye, not for fear of his own reaction, but seeing the disappointment in Mingi. “There’s a bad storm incoming. Old man sent someone to tell us to head down the mountain, our work is done.”

Mingi scoffed, a chuckle as if he was assuming it was a joke. He waited for a moment, perhaps for Yunho to look over at him and say he was kidding. Only when Yunho didn’t, continuing to take down the tent with a solemn expression, did Mingi truly react. “You’re serious?”

Yunho bit his lip nervously, finally facing the other. He nodded slowly, still unable to meet his eyes for longer than a few seconds. He could tell Mingi was upset, the way his jaw clenched as he stood there staring at Yunho with his hands on his hips.

“For fucks sake,” Mingi muttered under his breath. He turned away from Yunho to collect himself for a moment. The air around them suddenly felt heavy, and a rather unsavory feeling came over them. “The weather's been bad for how long? This is bullshit, I’ll say. We still got two damn weeks ‘fore we’re supposed to be done. And our pay will be cut cause of this too.”

“If it’s a matter of money, I don’t mind lending you some–”

“I don’t need your fucking money.” Mingi spat. Anger laced every word, aimed to hurt Yunho and make him feel the same way he was in that moment. “I ain’t taking no damn handouts.”

Yunho’s expression soured in an instant. He knew Mingi didn’t mean it to be rude, he simply had no other way of expressing his hurt. Still, it stung coming from him. “Well then, quit moping. There’s nothing we can do ‘bout it.”

Mingi shot him a glare before storming off. His fist clenched at his sides, and his mouth downturned in a scowl. He didn’t look good, angry, Yunho found himself thinking. He wasn’t happy either, but at least he knew better than to take it out on someone else.

The way Mingi snapped at him reminded him much of his father, short-tempered and quick with his words. It was so easy for him to make Yunho feel less than with a calculated stare and his sharp tongue. Thankfully, Yunho hadn’t inherited his hot-headedness, but his lack of aggression made his father see him as weak. Too soft-spoken and no backbone to hold himself up. The thought of having to return to his parents' home sent a shiver down his spine. He couldn’t let his last conversation with Mingi be one that left them both feeling hurt.

After finishing packing up the tent, he set off to find Mingi. It wasn’t hard, having seen him perched atop a nearby hill, sitting with his knees drawn to his chest like a child who had not gotten their way. The sight made Yunho’s heart clench, but he’d pushed the feeling aside, he was going to try and be the bigger person.

Mingi didn’t move or acknowledge him, though he saw him coming. Instead, he looked away, choosing to ignore the other approaching with a soft smile and an apologetic look. Despite their warning of bad weather, the sun shone brightly, the wind blowing the tall grass around them in waves.

“S’time to get going, cowboy,” Yunho chided as he stood in front of Mingi. He was impossible to ignore now, having cast a shadow over the other from where he was.

Mingi finally looked up at him, and when he did, Yunho could see how his eyes were red and swollen. He’d been crying, but tried his best to hide it. Yunho couldn’t help but crouch down and reach out to touch Mingi’s cheek, who shied away from his hand as if it hurt.

Yunho recoiled out of instinct, before finally running a thumb along the other man’s cheek. His skin was warm under his touch, and though he looked at him with such distaste in his eyes, underneath it was true sadness. He’d never seen brown eyes look so blue, so full of hurt. “C’mon, Mingi, don’t be that way.”

Mingi stared at Yunho for a moment, mouth twitching with the need to speak, say anything that would express how he was feeling. He peered down and Yunho’s lips before looking back up to his face, and abruptly, all the emotions he held within him were too much.

He’d pulled Yunho in for a bruising kiss, the kind that was full of forlorn yearning. The grip he had on Yunho’s collar was unyielding, holding him there so he wouldn’t dare pull away. And Yunho had no intention of doing so, the force of Mingi pulling him forward making him topple over in the grass.

In an instant, there were hands all over him, Mingi’s brusque grip grabbing at his body in a way that felt desperate. As if he were trying to take pieces of Yunho and keep them all for himself. He kissed Yunho so furiously that he could hardly breathe, pinning him down with a hand pressed against his chest. It made him feel as though he was being ravaged, like Mingi had finally caught him and didn’t plan on letting him go.

“Mingi–” Yunho gasped, barely able to take in enough air before Mingi was crashing their lips together again, this time with a painful grip on his jaw that made tears spring to his eyes. Something about the rough treatment made Yunho’s skin crawl and prickle with heat. As much as he tried to push Mingi off him just for a second, the other was just too strong.

Eventually, it became a wrestle, with Yunho trying to gain the upper hand and Mingi doing everything in his power to keep Yunho pinned beneath him. “This ain’t no rodeo cowboy,” Mingi huffed as he shoved Yunho back down into the dirt and grass beneath them.

Yunho didn’t mean to hit Mingi, at least not as hard as he did. But before he knew it, his fist was connecting with Mingi’s face so hard that it made his own knuckles ache. It was then that Mingi finally released him, tumbling over and clutching his now bleeding nose in pain.

“Mingi, oh fuck,” Yunho rushed over to him with a worried expression. A bout of guilt came over him like a rock settling in his gut. He didn’t know why he did such a thing. It was just all too much, too hostile. Not the Mingi he knew. “I’m sorry, Mingi, I didn’t mean to hurt you,”

He held his face in his hands with the same roughness that Mingi used just seconds ago. There was blood all over his lips and chin that Yunho tried to wipe away with the sleeve of his own shirt. Mingi looked dazed, roughly thumbing at his own nose before pushing Yunho off of him and getting to his feet. “Get off me.”

“Mingi, please, I’m sorry,” Yunho scrambled to follow after him, arms reaching out for the other and legs feeling useless underneath him.

Yunho felt the blow before he’d registered what actually happened. A throbbing heat right under his eye on his cheekbone, and the feeling of falling on his ass so hard he’d let out a grunt of pain upon impact. Mingi had hit him right back and gotten a good one in, too. Tears stung in Yunho’s eyes as he lay there, right cheek throbbing, hearing Mingi’s footsteps fade away, leaving him alone to pick himself back up.

He didn’t get up right away. Yunho let the pain wash over him just like clouds covering the sun. The pain in his cheek was considerable, but the hurt in his chest was arguably stronger. He never meant to hurt Mingi, it was fear that overtook him. The way Mingi had handled him wasn’t the same rough-housing they’d done before. That time it felt charged, as if Mingi was channeling all his hurt into trying to show affection in the only way he knew how.

Perhaps it was Yunho’s fault, had he given Mingi space to let the anger in him simmer down, he wouldn’t have done such a thing. Regardless, it ended like this, with Yunho lying in the grass and a bruise forming on his cheek.

When they eventually returned to the ranch, the old man said nothing about Mingi or Yunho’s bruised faces. Simply looked at them and scoffed before turning to make sure their count was up to par. Mingi hadn’t said a word to him since their fight, but he sure did look guilty. Yunho could sense it coming off him in waves.

The way he glanced at him from under his hat was like he was caught red-handed with something he wasn’t supposed to have. Hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans as he kicked the dirt with the toe of his boot. Like a dog with its tail between its legs.

Yunho was sorry too, but his pride had gotten the better of him. How could it not? He wasn’t the one who’d started it, even if he did throw the first punch. Though when he looked at Mingi rubbing the bridge of his nose every now and then, he did feel spindles of shame in his gut. An eye for an eye, he supposed.

“Your count is low,” the old man called out from inside the enclosed pasture. Yunho watched as he neared the fence that he and Mingi leaned against. “You boys were too busy fighting each other to pay attention to the damn herd. Should’ve known better than to hire the likes of y’all.”

The owner kept talking, but Yunho had drowned him out. He wasn’t in the mood to be talked down to by someone. He knows his momma would slap him upside his noggin for not respecting his elders, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. The only thought that persisted in his mind was how he would have to say goodbye to Mingi.

The singular thing he’d been dreading since he met the other man, and now with the things they’d gotten up to on the mountain, the dread had become overwhelming. His tongue felt heavy and dry in his mouth, and his heart was beating so fast he was sure it’d shoot right out of his chest. Deep down, he knew it would likely be the last time seeing the other man, unless he came back the next year and they happened to cross paths again.

Once the old ranch owner was done giving them an earful, he and Mingi stood in silence. Perched on the wooden fence side by side, with matching bruises as their only show of affection. Instead of the lasting memories of a kiss, it was the harsh feeling of fists.

“You throw a pretty good punch for being a nimble thing.” Mingi finally broke their silence. It wasn’t an apology in the slightest, rather an acknowledgement of his own wrongdoing. A way to lessen the tension between the two in the most masculine way possible.

Yunho chuckled. He wasn’t a fighter, but he knew there was a bite behind his bark. “Maybe you should pick on someone your own size next time.”

It was Mingi’s turn to let out a scoff, the slightest hint of a fond smile apparent on his lips. He moved away from the fence to fish something out of his jacket pocket before handing it over to Yunho. “Finished it just in time,”

When Yunho looked down, he had to bite his lip to keep a gasp from escaping him. It was the little wooden lamb Mingi had carved for him. Just big enough to fit in the palm of his hand, now with a gentle face and detailed etchings of fur. He ran his thumb along the unpolished wood before pocketing it. “Thank you, Mingi.”

Mingi said nothing, only tipped his hat in response. Gone were the open displays of affection, and Yunho knew why. They wouldn’t dare take any risk with the many eyes of other ranchers around. Though Yunho longed to reach out and pull Mingi close, feel his warm skin under his hands, kiss him until he was breathless and begging for more.

Now he’d had a taste of freedom, and it was damn near impossible to ignore the urges. No longer could he push them to the back of his mind and pretend like they didn’t exist. Not when Mingi stared back at him like he wanted to do just the same.
In the end, their pay had been cut more than either of them expected. It was still better than most jobs, so neither of them complained outright. It was just enough to last through the winter months until he could find another job away from his family. After counting what they’d made, and Yunho’s things packed in the bed of his truck, they both stood there in silence.

Neither of them wanted to be the first one to speak, but Mingi tried desperately to lighten the solemn mood that hung over them. “Can’t believe I lost my shirt after all that,” he mumbled.

His shirt, the one that had blood all over it from when Yunho hit him only hours ago. Mingi had since changed into a new one, and after searching, he couldn’t seem to find the blood-stained one. Yunho looked down at his own feet, hands in his back pockets. If Mingi could see his face under his cowboy hat, he would be able to tell how guilty he looked.

“I’m sure it’ll turn up when you least expect it,” Yunho replied. It wouldn’t, and he knew that. But what Mingi fell short of realizing wouldn’t hurt him either. There was a pause and a slight wavering of his voice when he spoke again. “Do you…” He cleared his throat before trying again. “D’you think you’ll be back next summer?”

It was a simple question, but loaded with intention. Yunho wanted the chance to see Mingi again, something to look forward to while he wasted away at his parents' farm. Anything to illuminate his dull reality.

Mingi ran his tongue along his cheek as he pondered. As usual, his expression didn’t show much hint of what he was really thinking, leaving Yunho anxious for his reply. “I dunno. After I’m married, I probably won’t be able to leave the lady at home, y’know?”

Yunho inhaled a deep breath. Had to close his eyes for a bit longer than a blink just to swallow down the visible distaste. Married, of course, Mingi had someone waiting for him. A lovely woman with whom he would build a life. A life that Yunho was never meant to be a part of.

“No, yeah, I get it,” Yunho spoke softly, quietly. “I might come back. The money’s good, and I don’t have no plans.”

Mingi didn’t comment on this, just looked him up and down so slowly, like he was trying to memorize each and every detail that was Yunho. Store it in his brain so he could remember him later. After a moment, he inhaled a deep breath and looked Yunho in the eye. A stare that could speak thousands of words.

“Guess I’ll be seeing you then.” He finally said.

A breeze passed them as if the universe were trying to tell Yunho; This is it. This is simply a passing experience that will never occur again. Just as fleeting as the wind. He bit at his lower lip just to let out some of the anxious energy that was building inside of him.

“Yeah, I’ll see ya.”

Then Mingi stood there for a moment. Leaned against Yunho’s truck almost as if he didn’t want to leave. Seemingly, there was hesitation in believing it was the end. It could’ve been seconds, minutes, but to Yunho, it felt longer. Without another word, Mingi pushed off the side of Yunho’s truck, tipped his hat, turned on his heels, and walked away. Just like that.

Yunho didn’t watch him go, he couldn’t, out of fear he’d break down right there in the dirt. He roughly pulled the truck door open and started the engine, not giving himself any time to truly react. When he pulled into the road and began driving, he could see Mingi walking in the other direction behind him. Duffle thrown over his hunched shoulders, and head bowed down as he watched his feet.

The same mirror that Yunho had used to stare at Mingi discreetly when they’d first met was now the one he watched him slowly grow smaller in. So small that the other man was indiscernible due to distance. That’s when Yunho felt it, when he let out a ragged breath he didn’t know he was holding. His fingers clenched the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. His eyes became blurry with tears, which he tried to blink away.

He stopped the vehicle suddenly, now far away enough from the small town that no other cars or people would see him in such a state. Yunho felt sick to his stomach, skin hot and somehow cold and clammy all at once. He rested his forehead on the steering wheel, squeezing his eyes shut, his best attempt to try and pull himself together.

Though it didn’t work, all he saw when he closed his them was Mingi. The sadness in his eyes up on the mountain, the way his hands felt on his skin, the crooked tooth that showed when he smiled or laughed.

“Fuck!” Yunho shouted as he hit the steering wheel in front of him. His sobs sounded akin to those in grief. Choked sobs and whines of sorrow, laced with anger for the loss of their loved one.

He sat there for a long while, truck still running, and stopped in the middle of the road. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of another car honking, then tires speeding past him, that he came to his senses. An older man gave him a look of anger through his window as he passed Yunho in the opposite lane.

He had to move; he couldn’t sit there and cry like a child all day. As much as he wanted to simply turn the truck around and go find Mingi, try and convince him to come with, it was no use. The other man had been right. His dream of them ever being together wasn’t realistic. Simply wishful thinking.

After a deep breath, Yunho righted himself, ran a hand through his dark hair, and put the gear in drive again. Back to a life that was never meant for him.

When Yunho finally arrived home in the late evening, it was dark and had been for some time. His childhood home looked worn and cold as it always did in his mind. Peeling white paint and a wooden porch that only got weaker each winter season. There was one light in the downstairs window, the rest of the house was dark.

He wasn’t even fully up the steps yet before his mother was opening the door, a smile on her lips when she saw her son. She was already dressed in night clothes, with a yellow duster over her nightgown and her hair pulled back in a low bun. She looked tired, though Yunho doesn’t quite remember a time when she didn’t look worn down.

Yunho met her in the doorway, with the best upturn of his lips that he could muster. “Hello Mom,”

His mother put her cold finger on his face in an instant, even in the low lighting, she could see the now purple bruise under Yunho’s eye. “Now what happened to you? Don’t tell me you got into it with someone, Yunho.”

Yunho pulled his face away and let out a sigh. “M’fine, just had a bad fall up on the mountain, that’s all.”

His mother's eyes squinted in a way that made the fine lines at the corners of her lids more prominent. No one knew better when Yunho was lying than his own mother. Though this time she didn’t chastise him over it. Just stood in the doorway with her skeptical look.

“Now, can I come in? I’m awfully hungry.” Yunho asked.

She stepped aside at this, and Yunho removed his hat and boots in the mudroom. The small fireplace was lit and was warming the house well. He couldn’t see the shadow of his father sitting in his recliner in the living room, nor could he smell the tobacco from his pipe.

His mother had wandered to the kitchen, but knew already what Yunho was looking for, or rather, hoping wasn’t there. “Your fathers’ in bed already. You know he wakes up with the chickens.”

“Thank God,” Yunho muttered under his breath. The last thing he wanted was to hear his father go on about the state of his face. He’d deal with it in the morning. When he entered the kitchen, there was a sandwich on a plate with a warm cup of tea next to it.

He sat in an instant, biting into the soft bread of the sandwich, and nearly scalding himself with the hot tea to wash it all down. He didn’t realize his own hunger until he’d seen the food in front of him. Crying worked up an appetite, he supposed.

“Wash up after yourself when you’re done. I’m heading to bed.” His mother gently petted his hair before she walked off. “And don’t forget to pray before you sleep,” she called out.

“Yes, ma’am,” Yunho replied past a bite of food. He hadn’t prayed a single night since being up in the mountain with Mingi, but he’s sure God knew all of what happened. Even the details Yunho would rather keep to himself.

After finishing his food and tea, he cleaned up quickly. The quiet stillness of the house was almost eerie. Lonely. He could feel the tightness in his chest like someone was sitting atop him and weighing him down. Even as he climbed the stairs and trudged down the hallway, his feet dragged along the hardwood.

His room was the same as he left it. It was dark, save for the moonlight that shone brightly through the window. His bed made, his desk piled high with books he’s read over and over. He dropped his bag on his desk, not caring if things fell over in the act. He unzipped the duffle and hunted through it until he’d found what he was looking for.

Out he pulled a shirt. Fingers shaking as he held it up to the blueish moonlight, to really look at the fabric. There on the collar was a deep red stain, just a few droplets. When he held up the right sleeve, there was another, the red smeared across the cuff. Blood. Mingi’s blood.

It was then that he felt a tear fall on his cheek. Yunho was sure he’d had no more tears left in him, but when he brought the shirt to his nose to take a deep inhale, he was quickly proven wrong.

It still smelled of Mingi. The salt of his skin, the earthiness of the mountains, faded tobacco, and musk. Yunho fell to his knees in an instant, only this time he couldn’t shout in anger. Instead, he kneeled there in front of his window, clutching the shirt as if it were his only lifeline.

His mother told him to pray, and so he did, blood-stained fabric between his hands as they clasped together and his eyes squeezed shut. It was one of the few times he truly prayed out of desperation, longing for something that only a higher power could gift him.

“Please bring him back to me, Lord. Please let us meet again. I pray that you guide us to cross paths again,” he inhaled a shuddering breath before continuing. “For I know I’ve sinned, wash me of my wrongdoings and hear my pleas. Amen.”

When he looked up again, Yunho could see the moon shining down on him in all its beauty. Full, bright, and ethereal like an angel staring down at him. He wondered if Mingi was staring at the moon, perhaps thinking of Yunho too. Praying, wishing, hoping that this wasn’t the reality they’d have to endure.

‘If you can’t fix it, you gotta stand it.’

Yunho didn’t know if he could stand it, but he’d soon realize he had no choice. For the world will keep spinning regardless. Though one thing was for certain, he’d never forget Mingi. He’d go back to the same employment office every summer if that meant seeing Mingi again.

He stayed kneeling there until his legs went numb under him, and tears dried on his cheeks. His bed felt cold when he lay in it, nothing like the warmth of having Mingi next to him. Yunho didn’t bother changing clothes or getting under the sheets. Just lay there holding Mingi’s shirt like a child to a cherished stuffed animal.

He held the soiled fabric to his nose so he could smell it as he drifted off. “Mingi, all the things you’ll never know, I wish I could forget you.”