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It was dark and quiet in their bedroom. Gilbert didn’t know how long it had been since he woke up, and he knew sleep wouldn’t come back for him very soon. It was still late, he knew. He didn’t know how much he had slept in the first place anyway. But he was okay with this. It was a very rare occurrence that he enjoyed the silence, the dark. It was a very rare occurrence that he wanted to just be still and move with the rapid stream of his thoughts. He would usually fidget, pace, bite his nails, and whether it was out of anxiety or instinct he no longer knew. But here, laying in bed, holding the love of his life close in his arms, his thoughts slowed, his boundless energy settling to a warm hum.
Lovino clutched him just as tightly, and in the pale light of the moon seeping through the window Gilbert could only just see the peaceful look on his face as he slept. It was moments like these that made Gilbert not mind waking up in the middle of the night. If it were up to him, he would spend the rest of eternity gazing at this beautiful man that he was lucky enough to call his lover. He shifted, slowly so as to not wake Lovino, and pulled him even closer so he could bury his face in his dark hair and kiss him softly on the top of his head. Maybe it was his exhaustion, maybe it was the lateness of the hour making him so emotional, but Gilbert felt uncontrollable, untethered love flow through his veins, warming his cheeks and bringing tears to his tired eyes.
Right now, he wasn’t the loud, arrogant, brash self he often presented as. Right now, he was just Gil, overwhelmed by his feelings as quiet tears ran down his cheeks, and somehow he knew that, for some wild reason, this was the happiest he had ever felt in his entire life. And he couldn’t help but feel like the luckiest man alive, to have the love he had always dreamed of his whole life, increased twentyfold.
Every day, Gilbert would wake up beside Lovino, the morning light from the window seeming to form a golden halo around his tan face. They would turn to each other, still sluggish from sleep, and smile at each other, full of the softness only reserved for when it was just the two of them as they would bid each other a good morning. Every day, Lovino would cook for the two of them, and they would sit down and talk about everything and nothing, bantering, joking, laughing. And sometimes they would just sit in silence, not the awkward kind of silence but the warm comfortable kind of silence that would make Gilbert feel so incredibly warm inside. He would watch Lovino’s hazel eyes crinkle when he smiled, or narrow amusedly whenever Gilbert would make a stupid joke, or simply meet his own scarlet ones in a look so unbelievably full of love.
There was once a time in which they barely knew each other, a time in which Lovino seemed to hate Gilbert’s very existence. A time in which Gilbert spent his time wallowing in his own misery, a time in which he thought so low of himself he had to make sure he put others even lower. Gilbert could see why Lovino hated him. It wasn’t hate, however, not really. The day Gilbert was met with a slap in the face, the day harsh words were shouted at him, angry curses and desperate pleas, the day that ended with tears coming from both red and hazel eyes, the day that ended in cold, hard silence. The day Gilbert didn’t want to be miserable anymore. He simply couldn’t.
And when they would meet again, it would not be fueled by Gilbert’s overwhelming self-hatred, or Lovino’s boundless anger at the world, but their combined longing for warmth and security that they would realize could be found in each other. Those days now seemed so long ago in Gilbert’s eyes, and maybe they were. But irrelevant, they were not. So many years of searching for something to grasp onto, something to have in the most raw sense of the word, for the two to finally find peace in one another, as they would for the rest of their lives.
Gilbert, tears still streaming down his face, overwhelmed with the pure love he held for this man, couldn’t help the hiccups and sniffles that came.
Lovino slowly woke to Gilbert’s strong arms clutching him tightly, while his pale, tear-stained face remained buried in the crook of his neck. The German was sniffling and shaking slightly, which concerned Lovino greatly.
“Gil?” he whispered gently, still weary from sleep. The silver-haired man's shaking paused momentarily.
“Lovi.”
Gilbert’s voice was hollow and exhausted. Lovino carefully, slowly sat up, and Gilbert’s teary eyes looked up at him with so much pleading and love as he wrapped his arms around the Italian’s waist and rested his chin on his abdomen. Lovino gently stroked Gilbert’s messy hair, his voice quiet and comforting.
“What’s wrong, amore?”
At that, Gilbert’s eyes overflowed with even more tears. However, a shaky smile was slowly growing on his face, leaving Lovino thoroughly perplexed. Neither of them moved or spoke for several moments, Gilbert blubbering stupidly and Lovino growing more and more baffled. Eventually the German wiped his wet face on Lovino’s t-shirt, earning an indignant yelp.
“Wha- get a tissue or something, bastard!”
Gilbert blinked his watery eyes at his lover, grin growing bigger and dopier.
“I love you so, so much,” he murmured, his voice shaky but full of so much intensity and adoration that Lovino went silent, eyes widening. After a beat though, the fond smile the Italian was fighting back finally surfaced as he huffed amusedly.
“So that’s what this is about, huh?” He ruffled Gilbert’s silver hair and kissed the top of his head before pulling him into a warm embrace, rolling the both of them to lay on their sides, facing each other. “You always get so emotional when it’s late. Why are you awake at this hour anyways?” Gilbert had fully melted in Lovino’s arms, nuzzling his face into Lovino’s t-shirt like he wanted to fuse at an atomic level. His tears had stopped, and all that was left was a content grin, growing sleepier and sleepier as the seconds passed.
“I missed you…” he mumbled, his red eyes growing heavy.
“Wha-huh? I’ve been here the whole time, idiota!”
“Heh… I know…”
With a relaxed sigh, Gilbert drifted off to sleep, a small, warm smile still on his face. And as the gentle lull of sleep took hold of Lovino as well, all his thoughts melted away except for one;
Oh amore mio, how I adore you.