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Madison shifted uncomfortably on the hard wooden seat, vainly trying to find a comfortable spot. No matter how she tried to shift her weight, she could not escape from the dull stinging pain emanating from her bottom. She looked across the table to her partner, lingering shame still leaving her unable to meet his eyes. He was consulting the small laminated menu of the small, fashionable cafe they were seated at, totally untouched by her discomfort. Looking at him produced a confusing tangle of emotions in her. Anger at him for dragging her out of the house on a weekend. Fear of his disapproval. Lust stemming from her anger and fear. But most of all, burning humiliation from the events of that morning .
Jonathan finally finished studying the menu and looked over at her, prompting her to drop her eyes to the table top. He gave her a long appraising glance, smiling at the pile of social anxiety and anime trivia he had managed to coerce into the semblance of a woman. Her short black hair was still wet from the shower, with little wisps already managing to frizz away from it. Instead of the usual t-shirt and leggings, she was wearing the least wrinkled skirt and blouse he had managed to find in the pile of clothes in her closet. He had even managed to find a pair of stockings without too many runs and a pair of battered pumps for her to wear. He was no expert on women's fashion or color coordination, but he was quite pleased with the result. This outing was more for her benefit than his anyway.
She was obviously uncomfortable, fidgeting like a cat put in a Christmas sweater; clearly eager to get out of the unnatural garments that had been forced upon her. Much like a cat, her indignation was utterly adorable. Jonathan wished he could take a picture of her blushing, frustrated expression without it seeming mean-spirited. He had not dragged her to lunch with him out of spite or to punish her. On the contrary it was because he genuinely believed she needed to get out of the house. He would be paying for this for weeks if her eyes were any judge. She was tugging awkwardly at her stockings, trying to work up the courage to vent her feelings.
"Something on your mind?", he asked calmly. She started a little, as if she was surprised her loud body language had been read. She looked up and tried to meet his eyes for a moment before looking off to the side and turning even redder. So cute. She steeled herself and attempted to sort her whirling emotions into a complaint that would not sound like a whiny, bratty child.
"While I appreciate that you are concerned about me, what you did was uncalled for. I like to relax at home on the weekend and if I said I didn't want to go out that should have been the end of it. I can't believe you actually went as far as to sp-" she stopped speaking suddenly as the waitress bounced up to the table to take their order. She was clearly a college student, short, button nosed, long strawberry blonde hair and blue eyes wrapped up in a green apron that made a pleasing hourglass where it was gathered in at her waist. The fucking enemy, Madison thought. Jonathan ordered for both of them. The fact that he somehow knew her order without even having asked her stoked the flames of her outrage. It was presumptuous.
A dagger of jealousy shot through her as she noticed the waitress twirling a strand of her hair around her finger as she spoke to Jonathan. Her high spirited bubbly energy was offensive to Madison, and every little bouncy motion made her angrier. She breathed a sigh of relief when the woman finished writing out their order and departed. The jealousy twisted in her gut as she noticed the hearts in place of the dots on the "i"s on the order slip she left on the table.
Oblivious to the impending murder, Jonathan continued their conversation
"You can't believe I went as far as to what?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about", Madison snarled, trying to keep her voice low.
"I'm afraid I don't bun-bun. You're going to have to use your words and tell me what you're upset about", Jonathan replied, using the hated pet name and deliberately keeping a normal conversational volume. He was surprised that the Madison's damp hair wasn't steaming with how flushed her face was getting.
Madison put as much outrage and venom as she could into her voice while still whispering; "You spanked me! You actually spanked me! You tore my panties off and spanked my bare ass like a child! Do you have any idea how much that hurt? How much it still hurts?" She felt like she might die from embarrassment, but she had to let her anger out or else she was going to explode.
Even speaking about it brought her mind's eye involuntarily back to the event. Shivers ran up her spine as she remembered, her nerves recalling the ghost of the strong sensations. His stern warnings and her taunting replies. The iron grip closing around her wrist. The surprise as she found her face pressing into the couch. The pain in her elbow as her wrist was forced against her back. The ominous sound of tearing fabric as her underwear was torn off her hips. The goose-bump sensation on her bare skin as she realized she was a totally nude woman being restrained by a clothed man. His leg firmly trapping her flailing feet. Then the horrifying stinging pain as he began spanking, deliberately targeting her sensitive sit-spot. The pain building with each strike, and finally the terrible catharsis as she broke into tears.
Even sitting in the cafe, fully if uncomfortably clothed, the memory brought panicked butterflies back into her stomach. The sensation was like a sore tooth she couldn't stop probing with her tongue, pain that walked an uncomfortable line bordering on pleasure. Jonathan watched her impassively, his own mind replaying the events, evoking their own set of powerful sensations. He dwelled more upon what followed the spanking. Her tear-streaked face. Holding her as she sobbed. Guiding her to the shower and washing her now un-resisting body. The feeling of the grease in her tangled hair as he gently massaged shampoo into it. Her sad, wet-cat expression as he rinsed her off. Fighting the arousal as his hands ran over her small breasts. The surging in his cock as she begged to be allowed to stay home, offering to suck him off if he would relent. Her sniffling as he toweled her off. The stubborn and childish silent treatment as he picked out clothes for her. She had cut such a pathetic figure that seeing her fuming anger now was a relief.
"You were spanked like a child because you were acting like a child. And those panties were due to be thrown out, they had holes in them. If you're upset then let's go shopping. I will buy you new underwear without holes."
Jonathan didn't enjoy having to lecture her, but this was something they were going to have to work through if they were ever going to move forward. Her lifestyle was frankly alarming and she had resisted all of his gentler entreaties to fix it.
"They were still good!", Madison insisted angrily. "You can't just buy me another pair, those were from a limited edition Digimon collab with a shopping center! I bought them when I went to Japan! They were irreplaceable!"
"Didn't you last go to Japan when you were in 8th grade?" Jonathan asked incredulously, "I don't mean to minimize the sentimental value they held, but they were tattered. What kind of grown woman is that attached to her gross middle-school cartoon character underwear?"
"Stop it with the 'grown woman' shaming dude!" she groaned, "I was picked on enough in school for liking anime, I don't need to get it from my boyfriend as well. I'm tired of women being infantilized or called immature for liking cute stuff. This is also totally besides the point that you fricking *hit* me!"
Madison tugged angrily at her stockings again in frustration. This was a sore topic for Madison, Jonathan knew. He had to tread carefully to get his point across without her totally clamming up and shutting down.
"I concede that it was unfair of me to phrase it that way", he said diplomatically,
"I don't think you're immature because you bought anime panties. My problem is that you kept them well beyond their practical service life. The underwear really wasn't the main thing about your lifestyle that was concerning me, though it is kind of a microcosm. Baby, please understand that I care about you and what I saw in your apartment straight up *worried* me."
Jonathan reached out a hand to try and place it on top of hers, but she snatched it away angrily. She seemed to deflate, her anger giving way to the anxiety he was so used to seeing from her. They sat in silence, with Jonathan trying to give her space to process his words. Their coffee and pastries arrived, providing a welcome distraction, even if the waitress prompted fresh glares from Madison. He tucked gratefully into his food, but Madison only stabbed at her scone with a teaspoon.
"What about my apartment made you worry so much?", she asked quietly, not looking up from her pastry mutilation
"Now before I begin, I want to reiterate. I am not bringing this up to make fun of you or hurt you. Nor do I think you are less wonderful because you are struggling right now. I am doing this because I care and I want you to be happy. Your apartment is dirty. Not just messy. There are pieces of clutter still there that I first saw months ago"
"Been busy. Like it that way anyway' Madison muttered uncomfortably, mashing a raspberry into a red paste with the flat of her spoon.
"Your clothes are not being washed regularly. Nor are they being folded, hung up, or put away in any meaningful fashion. You've been neglecting your personal hygiene and showering infrequently", Jonathan insisted, not bothering to engage with her flimsy excuses
"Work from home, don't need to dress up" she seemed to have trouble getting the words out of her mouth. She began sinking down in her chair, as if to hide from his gaze.
"Your pantry would have to improve considerably before its contents could even be called 'girl dinner', its just fucking cup ramen", he said accusingly.
"D'wanna.. wase-money" she was almost totally incoherent now, sinking down so that her chin was almost level with the table. Jonathan sighed with exasperation.
"Please baby, sit up in your seat, this is a restaurant. And I know you're not used to wearing skirts but I thought girls were socialized from a young age to not... splay like you are now", he reached over and gently nudged her knee to emphasize his point, as with her slide down the chair Madison's legs had indeed spread quite far apart. The sudden realization caused her to jerk her legs closed at the same time as she tried to pull herself up in the chair. The resulting painful impact of her bottom on the seat eliciting a pained 'Owwie!'
Jonathan insistently sought out her gaze despite her attempts to avoid it, he could tell he was making headway, but now came the most difficult part.
"And finally bun-bun. I think you have a porn addiction and some kind of sex addiction.", he tried to make his voice as sincere and kind as possible. Madison squeezes her eyes shut as if by not seeing him, she could hide from the painfully intimate topic.
"Dude. Seriously? Don't fuck with me, that's not funny", she whined. Her closed eyes allowed Jonathan to finally grab her hand. He brought the hand to his lips as he twined his thick fingers with her slender ones. She opened her eyes at the sensation but did not pull her hand away.
"I am serious. You know me, I don't have a problem with watching porn or masturbation. I do both regularly myself. I think there are plenty of people who masturbate every day and that's healthy for them. But your consumption is at a level where its messing with your other obligations. It seems like when we hang out every time I turn around you have your phone out and your hand down your pants. You have to be masturbating at least five times a day."
Madison let out a soft whine, unable to handle a day that was one humiliation after another.
"'Jus have a high sex drive. Shouldn't you brag to your bros you have a horny girlfriend who wants it non stop?" she pleaded, trying and failing to sound convincing. Jonathan planted another kiss on her hand.
"I do brag to my 'bros', that I have a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend. But its not like we're having sex that often. You're compulsively masturbating and reading porn. I really, really hate to be nosy, but you've been spiraling so bad, I got access to your manga account and ran some numbers. You're averaging about 160 chapters of explicit yaoi and boy's love content per-day, including work days. I thought I was well versed in the perversity of the internet, but your tag highlights include things I have never even heard of. What the fuck is 'personality excretion'? Never mind, don't want to know. Madison. Honey. This has to be interfering with your work."
He let the statement hang on the air. A slumped, defeated Madison stared down into her plate, her cooling coffee untouched, the scone crushed into a messy ruin on her plate. After a long while, she spoke.
"Lessay you're right. Even if you are, what would I do about it? Can't change. Tried before. Never stuck.", her voice was thin and plaintive, carrying the pain of a lifetime of struggle. Jonathan's heart filled with sympathy and affection for his girlfriend. He hadn't pried into her past, but he knew her life had been far from easy.
"When I was looking in your bathroom cabinet for your deodorant, which, by the way, I failed to find, I came across an expired prescription for antidepressants. Are you still seeing a psychiatrist?"
Madison shook her head glumly, "Nah, she's'n asshole. No help"
"I want you to start seeing one again. It doesn't have to be her, and don't make the mistake of going with the first one who takes your insurance, you can find someone who you feel comfortable talking to. But you need to see someone. I would move heaven and earth for you bun-bun, but I am not a doctor. I can't address fundamental chemical imbalances in your brain. Nor am I your father; I can't run your life for you. You need to be an active participant in your own recovery."
"Still call you 'daddy' anyways" she grumbled flippantly, but her eyes were unfocused. She was in her head, recalling her past struggles and trying to grasp the size of the problem before her. Jonathan brought his other hand up, clasping her hand in both of his, trying to gently draw her presence back.
"I'm not gonna sugar coat it; personal change like this is beyond difficult. It will take years, and there will probably be times where you backslide and you'll be tempted to give up, but I'll be there cheering you on if you're willing to try. I was terrified of losing you, and out of ideas about how to shock you out of your funk. I knew that if you kept going like that, I wouldn't be able to be with you, not because I don't love you, but because I have to look out for my own mental health as well."
These words opened an icy pit in Madison's stomach, a pain she would have gladly taken a dozen spankings to be spared.
"Baby, no! Don't leave. I'll do it. I'll do what you want. I'll start showering. I'll see a shrink. I'll delete my pixiv account. I'll never masturbate again. I'll fuck you any time you want. I'll even start doing anal. I'll dress up like your favorite streamer. You can fuck my friends, you said my sister was pretty once, do you want her? I'll help set it up. Just please, don't abandon me", she begged, rattling off the absurd offers rapid fire in a choked whisper on the verge of tears.
"Honey, that's not what I - I didn't mean to upset you. Here, have a sip of your coffee", he picked up the mug from her saucer and pressed it to her lips, cajoling her despite her protests of it being cold into taking a few sips. He saw some women at adjoining tables beginning to stare and talk behind their hands, cattily entertained by the drama. He flipped the most obnoxious table off behind Madison's back, ignoring their outraged expressions. When she had finally taken a few reluctant gulps of coffee he tried to undo the damage his careless wording had done.
"I didn't say that as a threat, or to hold you hostage, or to coerce sex out of you, Jesus fucking Christ. I have seen a lot of people suffer because they stayed with someone bent on self destruction. It didn't help the person they stayed with, and all it did was make two people suffer instead of one. I want to be with you, and I want you to get better, but I can only help if you want me to. Do you want me to help?" he pleaded with her, desperately hoping she was feeling the sincerity in his words.
She sniffled, terrified at the prospect of tackling her problems, but daring to hope that someone might actually care even a little about her.
"Yes. I do want your help. I'm serious about wanting to change. I really will stop masturbating, cold turkey. The porn too."
"I believe you" he said soothingly, "You don't need to make absurd promises that will only stress you out when you can't keep them. I don't think its even healthy for you to stop masturbating totally. I think you're sexy as hell when you touch yourself. I just want you to be able to jerk off from a place of self-love and not anxious compulsion. I'm concerned at how readily you resort to negotiating with sex when you're scared."
Madison made a gulping swallow. "That's, that's-because I", she spoke haltingly, trying and failing to force the words out. She squeezed her eyes shut tightly, more tears streaking down her face. Alarmed, Jonathan hurriedly scooted his chair around the round cafe table until he could draw Madison into his embrace.
"Its ok. Its ok, I'm sorry. Its not your fault", he repeated, stroking her back. "I can't claim to know what you went through, but it is not your fault. Its a sign of monstrous treatment in your past, not a character flaw on your part. You don't ever have to tell me about it if you don't want to, but I'm here to listen any time if you do."
The bitch brigade in the cafe was absolutely enthralled at this point, some had even pulled out their phones. Jonathan wished he had a spray bottle. Or a flamethrower. He did his best to shut them out. This was about Madison, not them. They could all go to hell.
Madison looked up at him from his embrace, seeming especially small and vulnerable.
"Do you really think I'm fixable? I'm a category 4 girlfailure with an airbus' worth of baggage." She snorted at her own joke, producing an unfortunate glob of snot she hastily wiped away with the back of her hand
"You're not broken baby. You're just hurt. Its a long journey but we can take small steps. Cut down on the bad habits, set limits. I'll try to help keep you accountable. I want to promise I'll never lay hands on you again either. Even if I was scared and frustrated that doesn't give me the right to hit you.", Jonathan rocked her back and forth in his arms gently as he reassured her.
Maddison shifted a little in his arms and gave him a strange look.
"Now who's making absurd promises that will only serve to stress them out?" she asked sardonically, "I don't think its healthy for you to stop spanking me entirely. I think its sexy as hell when you spank me. I know you do it from a place of love", she grinned impishly as she threw his own words back in his face. She gripped the collar of his shirt and used it as leverage to pull her mouth up next to his ear.
"In fact, I think you should hit me harder. Much. Much. Harder" she whispered breathily. The seductive words wormed into Jonathan's ear and crawled down his spine, down to the inguinal nerves, waking his libido. Madison enjoyed the rising tension she felt in his body and continued to pour oil on the fire.
"We should work out some punishments for if I relapse. Harsh punishments. Maybe we should buy some tools to really teach me a lesson. Straps. Paddles. A cane? They'll hurt so bad you'll need to tie me up first. Of course, once you have me tied up its not like I can stop you from doing anything you want to me. And maybe instead of letting me masturbate on my own, I'll have to ask you for permission. And if you say no I'll have to beg. Do you have any idea how needy I would get after a couple of days being denied? I would probably agree to anything just to be allowed to cum. Anything. No matter how taboo, painful, or humiliating it was. If I have a totally fucked up sexuality, we might as well use it to help me right? It wouldn't be fair to give you just 'crazy in the head', without the 'crazy in the bed' now would it?"
She pulled her mouth back from his ear and stared at his face with hungry feral eyes. She was quite satisfied her words had the intended effect on him. He was breathing hard and a bulging tent had formed in his slacks.
"That uh... Well... I uh... I think you made some interesting suggestions that I will certainly take under advisement" he stuttered, his brain factory-resetting to corporate platitudes in the face of overwhelming stimulation. Finally managing to get a hold of himself, he looked Madison in her eyes and smiled
"I think we're on the same page. Let's get out of here. I'll pay the bill get you another scone to go, have them put your coffee in a to-go cup" he announced, almost presciently as Madison's stomach grumbled. Jonathan walked to the cash register where the bubbly young barista waited with a sympathetic expression.
"Our check please, and one more raspberry scone to go. And this coffee to go." he said, sliding his card over the counter. As she rang him up, she glanced over at Madison, who had now started trying to salvage the demolished scone on her plate by scraping pieces off with a butter knife.
"Is she ok, your girlfriend I mean?", she asked in a tone that seemed more curious about whether or not she was his girlfriend than how she was doing. Jonathan winced, forcibly reminded of how public the spectacle had been.
"I'm so sorry about that. Couple stuff. You know. I apologize for disturbing the other customers."
"It's ok. You seem like a really cool boyfriend, putting up with her like that. She seems like she's pretty high maintenance", she replied cheerfully, displaying the up-beat, positive sociopathy unique to teenagers. As she finished ringing up the order, she glanced at Madison who had moved on to using her teeth to try to scrape off more scone, then back to him again and seemed to make a decision. She pulled a pen from out of a jar and wrote something on the receipt before handing it to him.
"Look... if you ever get sick of dealing with crazy, that's my number", she smiled at him coquettishly, displaying brilliant white teeth. Mechanically, Jonathan picked up the coffee and scone. He stared at the barista who continued to smile at him, perhaps believing her offer had stunned him with its attractiveness. Inside his chest, Jonathan felt nuclear fire erupt. He briefly fantasized about several ways of turning down this woman that would be both unambiguous and deeply satisfying, though highly illegal. In the end, he simply thanked himself for not asking for a fresh, reheated coffee, popped the lid off the to-go cup with his thumb, and dumped the contents of the cup on her head.
He rushed back over to Madison and grabbed her elbow
"We gotta bounce, fast", he insisted as he began pulling her towards the door. Madison reacted with confusion, which then turned to a delighted giggle as she spotted the dripping-wet barista shrieking with outrage. Together, they rushed out the door and ran down the block, not stopping until they had put a couple of blocks between them and the coffee shop.
"You're nuts! She's probably going to call the cops!", Madison panted, still grinning with excitement.
"Fucking worth it. She insulted you."
Madison grabbed the lapels of his coat and pulled him in for a grateful kiss.
"Thank you. Both for soaking that bitch, and for today" she said, placing her head on his chest.
"Any time bun-bun", he replied, folding his arms around her.
"So what do you want to do now, head home?" she asked hopefully. Jonathan laughed and placed a finger on her nose.
"You ain't slick. Shopping. Soap. Deodorant. Non-anime underwear. Vegetables."
"Nooo! You monster!" she cried out in mock anguish, pretending to resist futilely as he pulled her along by the arm. They spent the rest of the afternoon shopping, enjoying the normalcy of engaging in such an ordinary couple's activity, content to enjoy one another's company. Dusk saw them finally returning to Madison's apartment, awkwardly toting bulging shopping bags filled with home goods.
As soon as she got past the threshold of the door, Madison let the bags slide off of her shoulders with a grateful sigh, the crashing of groceries causing Jonathan to wince.
"Hoooome!" Madison cried out triumphantly, stretching out her arms in a victory pose. She continued the motion and brought her hands down to her hips, pivoting to face Jonathan before taking one hand off her hip to point at him with a beckoning gesture.
"And that means now, you feed the kitty, me-ow!", she said in what she thought was a seductive voice, making claws with her hands to make it clear who exactly the 'kitty' was. Jonathan cringed internally but did his best to let her down gently.
"Babe, I'm exhausted. Maybe tomorrow, sorry. Let's put the perishables away at least? Then let's watch TV, we can cuddle at least. You get started, I'm going to hit the bathroom."
Madison let out a frustrated groan and started putting the groceries into her pitifully empty fridge with a little more force than was strictly necessary. She heard the toilet flush, and then shortly after the sound of Netflix starting on her smart TV. She slammed the fridge shut angrily and began to turn towards the source of her outrage.
"What the fuck? You better not be leaving me to put away all the groceries while you watch TV you sexist pi-", she cut off as her about-face ran her straight into Jonathan who was holding out a remote towards the TV with a shit-eating grin on his face. Tossing the remote on to the counter, he cupped her chin in one hand, and used the other to pull her hips in towards his.
"Relax cum junkie. I know you didn't get a chance to schlick yet today and you're starting to go crazy. I have your methadone treatment right here." he said, thrusting his hips into hers for emphasis.
"You're such a fucking dork-ah!" she nearly collapsed with laughter, before the much taller and stronger Jonathan spun her slender body around and bent her over the kitchen counter. Their laughter was now replaced by insistent hunger. Jonathan scrambled to undo his belt and drop his pants, as Madison hiked her skirt up her hips, before being flummoxed by her pantyhose, which had somehow become twisted up around her legs and were resisting removal.
"Help! I can't woman" she pleaded as she tugged at the tangled hose. Snarling, Jonathan simply tore the offending garment away from her hips and yanked down her underwear.
"Again? What's with you and destroying my under-haah. Fuck. Oh fuck", her outraged question becoming plaintive moans as Jonathan pushed himself forward into her. They humped like animals, their bodies driven by the day's stress to seek frantic relief. Jonathan leaned into Madison, pushing hard against her hips, and hard against her back, driving her into the cold stone of the kitchen counter. She found his weight on her back reassuring, the viciousness of his lovemaking felt possessive and claiming. Her blouse had gotten pushed up to her armpits. Her small breasts did not require a bra, and so her bare nipples rubbed uncomfortably against the countertop, stiffening from the coldness of the surface. His thick cock made her feel wonderfully full as it thrust into her. The day's denial had made her fantastically sensitive and she could not hold out for long. She bucked her hips and screamed as her orgasm came.
Jonathan continued to thrust through her spasms. Now that she had cum, every motion of Jonathan's cock produced uncomfortable, overstimulating pleasure in her cunt. She was totally trapped by the counter, and all she could do was cry out as Jonathan fucked her tiny body brutally. Finally, mercifully, Jonathan came. He made one final thrust into her, driving all the way to the hilt, shouting and moaning as his cock erupted with pulsing spasms of thick semen.
Totally spent, Jonathan withdrew, staggering back against the fridge. Madison lay on the counter, moaning as cum dripped out of her sore, reddened cunt. Grimacing, she peeled herself off the slick counter, her torso red from the pressure, and a imprint of the edge of the counter pressed into her hips. Jonathan reached into one of the shopping bags, groping around until he found the new kitchen towels they had bought. Tearing the tag off of one, Jonathan carelessly wiped off his cock with it before tossing it at Madison.
"Clean yourself up. Then come to the couch and we'll cuddle. Bring a beer when you come" he ordered, before staggering off to the living room, his gait made awkward by the pants still around his legs. Madison did as she was bade, taking a quick shower, made much more effective by the new purchases of soap. She pulled a still lukewarm beer out of the fridge and banged it open on the counter. She walked to the living room still nude and went to the couch where Jonathan was relaxing. Entering his field of view, she elaborately gestured to the open beer she held, like a game show assistant presenting a prize, earning her a tired chuckle from Jonathan.
"Very cute. Come here", he said reaching out and pulling her carefully down on to the couch and taking the beer from her. Sighing contentedly, she leaned against him and closed her eyes.
"Good girl." Jonathan said simply, planting a kiss on the top of her head before leaning his head down against hers.