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How the team was able to get that amount of alcohol in the conference room without Blazer finding out is beyond Robert’s comprehension. He’d bet money it was either Invisigal or Malevola; most likely both if he’s being honest with himself. He lets out a sigh as he looks over the alcoholic spread on the table.
“Hey, Bob-bob! Join us for some bonding time.” Flambae even does air quotes over ‘bonding time’ with an over-exaggerated tone. Shouts of agreement and egging echo in the room, causing Robert to groan, but he pulls up a seat between Sonar and Malevola, who both start pushing and shaking him with smiles and jeers. Prism has her phone out, either streaming or just recording. Robert has no idea, while her music blasts from its speakers.
“Now that we have our beloved dispatcher here, we can really start the bonding time!” Invisigal shouts as she reaches for a bottle of what looks like vodka. She starts pouring out a row of shots, passing them out so everyone has one sitting in front of them.
“Because I’m the best, I get to choose the game we play.” Boos and ‘Fuck yous’ and other curses ring out in the room. Invisigal flips them off while sticking out her tongue.
“Whatever, I’ve already decided. We are gonna play ‘Never Have I Ever.’ No complaints, bitches.” Robert groans as he rubs his face, but a firm smack on the back causes him to slam the table with his hands to brace himself. He looks up with a glare at Sonar, who snickers and pats his head.
“Worried you’ll be the only sober one, Robbie?” The others start snickering. Robert huffs before straightening himself in his seat.
“No, just imagining all the horrific stories that are about to come out.” He states as he downs the shot and slides it back over to Invisigal, who raises an eyebrow. He snorts.
“For courage.” She scoffs before refilling his glass and sliding it back to him. He steadies it before it can tumble over and make a mess. Invisigal nods before standing up on her chair.
“Now, I’m assuming everyone knows how to play. And since I’m such a great hero, I’ll let our dispatcher go first.” She snarks as she plops back into her chair. Robert sighs as he ponders what to say, especially since they don’t know who his alter ego is.
“Uh, never have I ever streaked through a mall.” Everyone looks at him before Prism, Flambae, and Invisigal down their shots. Hoots and hollers and banging on the table follow as the others start demanding more details. Robert tunes everyone out and lets his mind wander. He’s struggling with deciding how truthful he should be. They don’t know he’s Mecha-Man, but they figure he’s a hero, so some of the things they may state, he could’ve possibly done as any other hero. ‘Guess I’ll wing it, make a decision on the fly.’ Robert looks at Malevola before nodding to her.
“Never have I ever paralyzed someone.” Golem raises a finger.
“With intent or on accident?” Malevola makes a hum sound.
“Both.” Golem shrugs before eating the whole mini solo cup. Coupe and Punch-Up empty their glasses, too. Robert sighs before downing his as well. The room goes silent, only Prism’s music filling what could’ve been stunned silence. Robert holds out his glass to Invisigal, who is staring at him with shocked, wide eyes.
“No fucking way Bobert here has done something like that.” Flambae shouts as he glares at him. Robert sighs before gently placing the glass on the table.
“It was an accident. I kicked him off a roof, and he hit his neck on a fire escape as he fell. Paralyzed from the neck down.” He states in a soft voice. The fucker worked for Shroud, but didn’t mean that the guy deserved to be immobile for the rest of his life; just adding to a long line of people who hate Mecha-Man, especially the newer version. The room is uncomfortably quiet, all staring in disbelief that their dispatcher, Robert Robertson, could have hurt someone severely, let alone practically ruin a person’s life.
“Holy shite, didn’t think you had it in you, lad.” Punch-Up raises his empty glass towards Robert with a grin. His statement seems to have broken whatever was over everyone, and soon the talking begins back up again. Invisigal grabs the glasses, pulls out another mini solo cup, quickly refills, and returns them.
“Never have I ever blown up a house.” Golem states as he smirks over at Flambae, who murmurs curses and flips him off before downing his shot. Prism also downs her shot, shrugging when everyone stares at her with questioning looks.
“Look, it’s not my fault that they had a bunch of those sun catchers and shit. My lights set off their gas stove. Who the fuck even has those anymore?” The group starts laughing and slapping the table. Robert groans as he swallows down the alcohol.
“Now how the fuck did you blow up a house?” Prism asks incredulously.
“Well, technically, I didn’t blow it up myself, but I had a car thrown at me; I dodged it, and well, the house behind me exploded. So, I’m not sure if you’d count it.” Golem shrugs.
“Let’s count it.” Invisigal had swiped the cups and refilled them before Robert could notice. Flambae fiddles with the shot glass before tapping it on the table.
“Never have I ever stolen from a charity.” Sonar raises a hand.
“Do you categorize churches as a charity?” He steeples his fingers as he stares at Flambae.
“No, most of those places are fucking hypocrites. They totally deserve to be robbed.” Sonar nods, and no one drinks that round. It seems the team does have some morals. Prism snickers, looking straight at Flambae.
“Never have I ever dangled someone out of a window to get information!” Flambae growls.
“Oh, fuck you.” He goes to down his drink, but stops when he sees Robert down his shot quickly. The team stares, mouths agape.
“What the fuck—” “Now when the hell—” “What kind of hero does that?!”
“Now you’re just lying.” Robert chuckles, an easy-going grin on his face.
“One of Shroud’s guys broke into my apartment. I got the jump on him, tied him to a chair, and held him over my balcony to try to get info out of him. Man would not shut the fuck up, so I dropped him. Before you freak out more, there was a dumpster there, and it broke his fall.” Malevola smacks him on the back, shouting about how badass that was. Robert rubs the back of his neck, chuckling at some of the comments the other members of the team state. Robert looks at Flambae, who still seems to be stunned.
“Well, Burning Man, are you gonna take your shot or should I take it for you?” A chorus of ‘oooo’s’ follows. Flambae snarls as small flames ignite all over his body. He downs his shot and flips off Robert once he’s placed his glass upside down.
“Fuck you, Bob-Bob. Who would’ve thought our dispatcher wasn’t all squeaky clean?” Flambae remarks with a smirk. Robert just smiles back at him.
“Never said I was.” Punch-Up jumps onto the table, waving his hands around to gather everyone’s attention.
“Now now, it’s my turn! Never have I ever swallowed glass.” Golem and Malevola finish their shots before Coupe and Robert take theirs.
“Alright, Golem makes sense. The rest of you? I need explanations stat.” Prism demands as she looks at the people with empty glasses.
Malevola scratches behind her left ear, a plum flush appearing on her cheeks.
“Mine was an accident. I crashed through a window and swallowed some shards. Spent, like, a week in the hospital.” Snickers makes her flush darker, murmuring curses under her breath. Prism turns her attention to Coupe.
“Well, what’s your excuse, killer ballerina?” Coupe tilts her head to the side.
“Was being tortured, thought it would get me to talk. Don’t know why, swallowing glass would most likely make me unable to speak.” Prism mumbles a ‘damn bitch.’ Flambae coughs a ‘what the fuck'.
Prism clears her throat. “Uh, Roberto?” Robert sniffs.
“Uh, it was in a cake.” Robert could feel everyone’s eyes on him.
“A cake?” Invisigal asks, a look of confusion on her face.
“Yeah, it was when I was a kid. Luckily, I only had one bite, so no internal damage, fucked up my mouth though. My dad was able to get me to throw it up, so I only spent a night in the hospital. Still sucked, had to get my stomach pumped just in case.” Robert states, as if he’s commenting on the weather, holding his glass out to Invisigal for a refill.
“Who the fuck puts glass in a cake for kids? Wait….was it your birthday cake?” Sonar probes, his tone almost hopeful that Robert doesn’t confirm his idea.
“Yep, seventh birthday to be exact.” The team stares at him with concern. What kind of fucked up childhood did the man have for him to be so blasé about a traumatic event? The team exchanges looks of confusion and concern. Robert looks up, finally noticing the silence since only Prism’s music filled the pause.
“Uh, guys, are we still playing?” The Z-Team seems to have snapped back to reality and shakes themselves to at least pretend that everything is cool for now. They’ll freak out AFTER Robert leaves for the weekend.
“Yep, yep, yep. Uh, Coupe, it’s your turn.” Punch-Up implores her with a handout. She has started to spin one of her knives between her fingers. She stops, grabs it, and points it at the table.
“Never have I ever received ice cream from an ice cream truck.” Everyone heaves a sigh of relief that it wasn’t something else dark or fucked up that their Bobert could have gone through/done. It seems like everyone drinks, except for Robert.
“How?” is all Golem utters; even HE has had ice cream from an ice cream truck. He didn’t pay, and he ate the whole thing, but that’s besides the point. Robert just shrugs.
“Yeah, if I did, I don’t remember. I was pretty sheltered when I was young. My whole life back then was pretty much home, then school. Maybe Chase got me one when I was little, but I don’t actively remember getting one, so I’m not gonna drink. You guys can’t get mad. I’ve had the most shots so far.”
“Sonar, your turn.” Visi states as she hands him his glass.
“Alright, never have I ever dislocated something on purpose.” Coupe, Punch-Up, and Robert all take their shots. Invisigal coughing at the burn of liquor.
“Bobert? Explain.” Golem states as he looks the dispatcher up and down. Robert clears his throat before gently placing his cup down.
“Dislocated my thumbs to get out of handcuffs.” He begins to wiggle his thumbs, prompting some laughs from the others.
“Wait….that works? I thought that was just some movie shit.” Malevola asks as she looks down at Robert’s thumbs. Robert shrugs.
“Worked for me. That’s where I got the idea from, though, and lucky me, it worked.” The team looks down at their thumbs, envisioning all the times they could have tried that trick. Robert snorts as he looks across the table. They’ve cleaned out three bottles so far, and there’s still plenty, enough to stock a bar at least.
“Do we have any water in here, or do I need to go to the water cooler to get some?” Robert asks with a slight slur. Flambae guffaws as he leans over the table with a smirk.
“Aw, tapping out, Bob-bob?” Robert just stares deadpan at him
“I’m feeling parched, and alcohol doesn’t hydrate. I know it’s the weekend, but I’d like to not spend it hungover the whole time.” The others start mumbling agreements. Flambae huffs as he leans back into his chair. Golem makes a hum noise.
“I’ll go get it.” He stands up and ambles out of the conference room. Robert stares at him in slight confusion. ‘Go get it?’ He snapped out of his stare when Sonar bumped his shoulder.
“So, Bob-o, we’re learning quite a bit about you this evening.” Robert props his head up with his fist. A slight chuckle escapes him.
“Same goes to you guys, I only know your rap sheets and whatever the basics SDN has on you. I have to admit this is nice, can’t remember the last time I had a fun night like this.” Robert lets out a sigh with a smile. His eyes close as he thinks over his life to this point. He can’t even remember the last time he went out with people, possibly never. He’s been so busy being Mecha-Man since his father died that he’s never really had time to make friends or relax like this. Robert takes in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, feeling himself fully relax for the first time in a long time. He opens his eyes slowly to see that everyone is staring at him intently.
“Uh, something wrong?” His voice makes everyone jump. Some turn away, looking anywhere but at Robert; others cough while their faces start to flush. Robert raises an eyebrow in confusion and was about to ask what was wrong, but he stops short when Golem walks in with the water cooler held in his arms. He shuffles over to Robert and places the machine behind him.
“Thanks, Golem. You’re the best.” Golem preens under the praise as he reaches over Robert to grab the sleeve of red solo cups. He drops them in Robert’s lap with a smile. Robert chuckles as he pats Golem’s hand before turning the chair around and filling up a cup. He lets out a moan as the cool water soothes his throat. Once he empties the cup, he sees that everyone is almost leering at him, some with flushed faces.
“You guys want some water too? Some of you look all red. Uh, no offense, Mal.”
“No harm, babes. Some water does sound nice. Anyone else want a cup?” Everyone agrees, and they start a chain of cups, passing them around the table till everyone has one in front of them.
“Never have I ever fucked a co-worker.” Visi states with a smirk, looking around the room. Coupe and Punch-Up finish off their drinks expectantly. No one else drinks, causing Visi to scoff and flop into her chair.
“You guys are fucking boring.” That causes a shouting match to begin as they point out that she hasn’t fucked a co-worker either. Visi blushes after mumbling, “Not from lack of trying.” Her eyes trailed to their dispatcher, who was currently speaking with Sonar and Malevola. Malevola notices her looking and smirks before reaching over to mess with Robert’s fringe. Visi glares hard at the half-demon, slamming her hands on the table as she stands to get the shot glasses. She quickly pours the refills and flops back into her chair, still glaring at Malevola.
“Back to you, Roberto.” Robert rolls his eyes. He rubs his right temple, letting out a soft hum.
“Never have I ever been to HeroCon.” Everyone drinks, causing Robert to blink in confusion, not expecting EVERYONE to have gone.
“Really?” Robert mumbles.
“I’m more surprised you haven’t been, Bob Rob. Aren’t you supposed to have been some fucking hero? I figured everyone has gone to them; hell, even some villains go to them.” States Prism as she looks him over. Robert looks down at his shot glass.
“I usually didn’t have the money for it. But, not like I had time for it anyway.” He mutters as he plays with the glass, rocking it back and forth.
“The next one is in like three months, right? We’ll have to take our dispatcher to it. Show him how to have some fun.” Invisigal states as she raises her cup of water. Cheers and jeers sound off in the room, and a warm feeling forms in his chest. The weird feeling causes him to rub his sternum.
“I’d like that.” After the drinks are refilled, Malevola leans back in her chair. Her tail flicked back and forth behind her chair.
“Never have I ever been in a coma.” Robert shoots back his drink, letting out a puff of air as he sets it down on the table.
“When the fuck were you in a coma?” Punch-Up asks as he stares with wide eyes. Robert tilts his head to the side.
“I’ve been in two, actually.” Robert says, holding up two fingers. The nonchalant way of his speaking about the traumatic experiences of his life so far has Z-Team worried and intrigued about their dispatcher.
“What the actual fuck, Rob?” Invisigal states in shock, she knew who he was, but still, what the actual fuck was this guy’s life? Robert snorts before grabbing a vodka bottle and filling his cup.
“That’s life. I don’t know what you want from me.” He shrugs.
“Uh, never have I ever punched someone in the dick.” Giggles fill the room as Punch-Up, Malevola, and Robert take their shots.
“I find it hard to believe you, Rob-Rob. You don’t seem like a fighter, more like a nerd. However, after all the new info we’re getting, I’m starting to see that may not be the case.” Sonar states as he looks Robert over.
“I believe he has what’s called a sleeper build. Robert, you and I should spar. I’ll give you a full evaluation.” Coupe offers as she scans Robert, a smirk on her face. Robert clears his throat and rubs his neck, feeling a flush building.
“Uh, sure, why not. I could always use the training. Need to rebuild my muscles and stamina.” Robert flexes his arms. Malevola and Sonar make ‘ooooos’ as they squeeze the slight swell of his biceps. He flaps out his arms, muttering a ‘fuck you’ as he tucks his arms back to his side. Flambae leans back in his chair, crossing his legs as he places them on the table.
“Never have I ever dropped out of school. Any time of school, not just high school.” Golem, Malevola, Invisigal, and Robert lift their cups in the air before downing the alcohol.
“Nah, nah, nah, Robo. YOU dropped out? You seem like a fucking math nerd, in like fucking mathletes or whatever.” Flambae stands from his chair, pointing an accusing finger at Robert. Robert shrugs, swaying a little into Malevola.
“I’ve learned along the way. Lots of fuck-ups, gotta learn from them.”
“I never went to school, kinda wished I did.” Golem comments as he chews on his cup.
“No, you don’t. High school fucking blows dicks.” Invisigal states as she hands him another cup.
“You guys just suck at school. I graduated from Harvard. Suck it, losers.” Sonar states as he flips off the group, getting ‘boos’ and ‘fuck you’ in response. Flambae huffs as he sits back in his chair, twisting it so it hits Prism’s chair. She ‘tsk’ as she finishes up texting or whatever she was doing on her phone.
“Uh, I don’t know, never have I ever knocked someone’s tooth out.” Flambae glares at her. Prism blows him a kiss, smiling. Golem, Sonar, Malevola, and Robert all drink.
“Surprised you didn’t drink Coup; same to you, Flambae.” Robert utters.
“Because, bitch. I hit them in the face, usually the nose. Why would you hit them in the mouth? Seems fucking dumb to me.”
“You could just say you’re weak as shite, lad.” Flambae whirls on Punch-Up, spitting curses, and light wisps of flames start spawning from over his body.
“Flambae, if it helps. The time I knowingly knocked out someone’s tooth, it was an accident. I agree with you on punching them in the nose.” Robert’s words seem to placate Flambae, who flips off Punch-Up before flopping into his chair. Punch-Up snickers as Coupe rolls her eyes.
“I don’t know if I’ve knocked out someone’s teeth before. I have removed them forcefully, though.” The room quiets down at the implications of her words.
“Hot.” Sonar voices. The room erupts into laughter and hoots. Robert shoulder bumps Sonar, who raises his empty glass for a cheers. Robert clinks their glasses together. Punch-Up bangs his hands on the table as he lifts himself onto the table. He grabs a whiskey bottle, walking around the table, filling up the empty glasses, and making a new cup for Golem. He stands in the middle of the table, a plethora of alcohol surrounding him.
“Never have I ever had alcohol poisoning.” He shouts, bumping his chest in pride. Robert whines as he takes the shot. He looks around the room after drinking.
“Only me? Fuck.” Robert mutters as he rubs his temples.
“You have to explain, lad. Don’t hold out on us now.” Punch-Up states as he crosses his arms over his chest.
“I was fifteen, and it was about three days after my father’s funeral. I remember being numb after finding out he died, and I didn’t even cry at the funeral. I think when everyone was finally gone, and I was alone in the house for the first time since he passed, it all hit. I went to my dad’s liquor cabinet and grabbed the first bottle I saw. I almost threw up after I took a swig of the stuff, gin by the way.” Robert’s eyes seem to dim as if he’s re-watching it from a third-person point of view. The Z-Team stares in stunned silence.
“I remember crying and screaming, then nothing. I woke up in the hospital with Chase sitting by my bedside. He cursed me out before hugging me. A nurse came in and told me that I had alcohol poisoning. I must have zoned out because I don’t remember anything until I woke up the next day in my bed at home. Chase came by to check on me for about two weeks. After that, it was the last time I spoke to him since I started here.” Robert murmurs as he sways slightly. The team looks at each other, not sure what to say about such a personal story. Golem clears his throat before eating his cup; the others take the hint, and all take their shots as well, needing something to do to break the awkward air. Invisigal quickly refills everyone’s cups. Coupe leans back in her chair while fidgeting with one of her knives. A smirk slowly appears across her lips.
“Never have I ever been banned from multiple bars.” Coupe states as she points a knife at Flambae. Punch-Up and Invisigal burst into giggles.
“‘What the fuck? You all just picking on me, you bitches?” Flambae shouts before downing his shot. Golem also eats his drink. The group turns their attention to him. Soon, demands for explanations ring out in the room.
“Not my fault, their walls are so weak. I was just leaning against them, and they crumbled.” Golem states with a shrug. Sonar looks to his side, seeing Robert staring intently at the table.
“You good there, Boberto?” He murmurs to the man. Robert nods, waving his hand dismissively.
“Yeah, I’m trying to think if I’m banned from multiple bars. I know I’m banned from one. Can’t think of any others.” Malevola covers his glass with her hand.
“Let’s stick with it, it’s only one then, babes. You can skip this one.” Robert nods before looking up at the ceiling, groaning as he does.
“Thank fuck tomorrow is Saturday.” The room burst into cheers and bangs. Hand slamming, foot stomping, and chairs creaking make up the background noise of the room. Robert smiles, a warm feeling building in his chest as he looks around the room. This little ragtag group of ex-villains is starting to mean more to him than just co-workers; it startles him. It soothes something in his soul, the part of him that feels he can never be anything other than Mecha-Man. If Royd can’t build the astral pulse, if he can’t be Mecha-Man anymore, he has a chance to finally be Robert here at SDN with the Z-Team.
“Whatcha smilin’ about there, Robbie?” Punch-Up asks. This causes the other to focus their attention on him as well.
“Thinking some senti- semtimetal, fuck, sappy thoughts. Just how glad I am for this job and the future I may have because of it and you guys.” He mumbles, a flush crawling up his neck and coloring his face. The room goes silent before Visi leans forward, her hands holding her head up.
“Didn’t take you for an emotional drunk, Bobby.” Robert rolls his eyes, leaning into Sonar as he does. The bat man leans into him, helping to keep him sitting up.
“Fuck you, I haven’t drunk with people in a while, usually just me and Beef. He doesn’t talk back, just listens. He’s the best.”
Coupe clears her throat. “Since we are getting sappy. Robert, thank you.”
Sonar leans into Robert. “Seriously, thanks for not cutting us. We owe you.” Robert sighs as he looks down at the table, finding his hands very interesting.
“You ever need someone dead, let me know.” Coupe states as she flips one of her knives between her fingers.
“You need anything, even the strong stuff, just say the word.” Sonar chuckles as he squeezes Robert’s shoulder.
“You don’t have to thank me, I was pissed that they wanted to cut someone. I just got you guys to start working as a team, and they want to fuck with it to “send a message,” fuck that.” Robert rambles as he keeps his eyes on the glass clasped between his hands. The team stares softly at their dispatcher, warm feelings bubbling in their chests. Prism breaks the silence with her phone, making the camera shutter noise as she takes a picture of Robert, who jerks up at the sound. Prism smirks.
“Blackmail for later!” Robert snorts before leaning against Malevola. The alcohol is really starting to hit him, making him feel floaty and loose. The room feels warm, unsure if the temperature is high or if it’s the alcohol warming him. Robert starts to feel sleepy, but startles when Invisigal stands.
“Never have I ever been to rehab.” She states proudly. She looks directly at Sonar, who flips her off before downing his shot. Some light rubbing starts when they notice that he’s the only one who drank. Sonar flips them off before leaning back in his chair.
“Yeah, well, I got to meet Malevola because of it, so who’s winning now. That’s right, me.” Malevola lets out an “Aw” before reaching over Robert to flick one of Sonar’s ears. He swats at her hand, causing her arm to smack into Robert, who lets out a laugh.
“Malevola, are you really trying to pull the old movie theater trick on me? You could’ve just asked if you wanted to cuddle.” He mumbles as he leans into Malevola. The half-demon stills before relaxing.
“Trust me, babes. If I were flirting with you, you’d know.” Robert guffaws as he slightly slouches in his chair. Sonar pulls on Robert’s ear to get his attention, causing Robert to squawk and flail. Laughs and jeers rain down on Robert as he tries to get away from Sonar and Malevola messing with him. Finally, they show Robert mercy and let him catch his breath.
“Fuck you guys. If you kill me, you definitely won’t be part of the Phoenix Program.” Robert gasps as he tries to catch his breath.
“Nah, we’ll just ‘Weekend at Bernie’s’ you. They’ll never know. You already look like you’re halfway there.” Robert glares and flips off Invisigirl, who sticks her tongue out and blows a raspberry at him.
“Your turn, Sonar!” Punch-Up shouts, getting everyone’s attention on the bat man.
“Never have I ever permanently disfigured someone.” Sonar mutters, ready for the game to end and discuss something with the team. Initially, he’d never have believed their dispatcher would be able to do anything along these lines. Now, though, the man has become a puzzle waiting to be solved, and Sonar fucking loves puzzles. He glances at Robert, wanting to check in on the poor man. He has had the most drinks so far, and he’s started to kind of sway in his seat, with an easy-going smile on his lips. He actually looks his age for once, not like a harden man who had to grow up too fast.
“Define disfigured. Like, are we counting blindness as a disfigurement?” Prism asks, her cup held up to her lips, waiting for an answer. Sonar’s ears twitch.
“Fuck it, why not?” Prism quickly downs her drink; Coupe, Flambae, and Punch-Up also drink.
“I’ve ruptured a dickheads balls before.” Punch-Up states full of pride and a shit eating grin. Laughter erupts in the room. People patting Punch-Up on the back and cheering him on as he flexes.
“Fuck me.” Robert groans as he downs his drink.
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, Bob-Bob!”
“Are you sure you were a hero?” “What the actual fuck, Robbie?”
Robert waves everyone’s comments as he places his cup upside down on the table. Sonar places a hand on his back to help steady him.
“You going to explain?” Coupe asks. Her eyes scan over him to see if he’s possibly just lying to get wasted. Robert shakes his head, letting out little giggles as he does so. Sonar and Malevola have to grab him by his arms to make sure he doesn’t fall out of his chair.
“Nope.” Robert mumbles before leaning forward. Sonar and Malevola gently lower him so his face smushes against the cool tabletop. He lets out a groan of relief, the coolness of the table cooling his burning face.
“And I think that means the game is over.” Invisigal states as she stands.
“Should we call an Uber or something for him? I don’t think any of us know where he lives.” Golem asks, scratching the side of his face.
“Uh, we can take him to the med-bay. They have beds!” Invisigal shouts, and the group agrees. Flambae walks around the table and slowly spins Robert’s chair around so it’s facing him.
“C’mon, princess, time for bed.” He mutters as he bends down to lift Robert, holding him in a bridal carry.
“Why are you the one who gets to carry him?” Coupe asks, her head tilted to the side.
Flambae smirks. “Because I picked him up first, suck it, fucking losers.” He states as he leaves the conference room. Robert huffs, waving back at the others.
“Night night.” He mumbles as the door swings shut.
“Fuuuck, I want to wreck that man.” “Oh my god, I need him in my bed, yesterday.” “What the actual fuck, we need to protect this fucking guy.” They all begin to talk over each other, all voicing their thoughts on the game. Their voices rise as they try to speak over one another; they quiet down when Flambae lumbered back into the room. He collapses into his seat, rubbing his face.
“I’m stating this now. That pathetic white boy is ours. I’ll only share him with the Z-Team, no one else.” Voices of agreement sound off.
“That little bitch had the balls to look up at me and say: thanks, I can’t wait to see what kind of hero you’ll be. What the fuck do I say to that?!”
“Will you marry me?” Sonar states with a laugh.
“I can’t fucking believe we all have these fucking feelings for Bobert. We need psych evals.” Prism groans as she lightly bumps her head against the table. Invisigal goes quiet.
“So, we’re in agreement that we’ll share him, right?” She says seriously. She wants to make things very clear here, no misunderstandings. The rest of the Z-Team look at her, determination coloring their eyes.
“Yes.” Invisigal smirks at the resounding response.
“Now, how do we let that idiot know he belongs to us? And how do we get him in our beds?” Voices rising as they brainstorm how to make their dispatcher feel more like theirs in a more intimate sense.
—————
Robert groans as he slowly comes to consciousness. He stills when he realizes that he’s in a bed. He doesn’t own a bed. He slowly opens his eyes, taking in the surroundings. The room is white and sterile, and Robert immediately knows where he is.
“How the hell did I get in the infirmary?” He mumbles as he rubs his eyes, slowly sitting up, letting out a groan as his head begins to pound. The last thing he remembers is lying his head down on the table after taking that last shot. Robert pulls off the blankets and swings his legs over the side of the bed. The movement causes a slight noise from the bedside table. His cellphone sits next to a glass of water, and what looks like some pills sit on the table. A bright orange sticky note clings to the edge of the table. Robert huffs out a small laugh that morphs into a groan as the vibrations irritate his headache. He grabs the sticky note, rolling his eyes after reading it.
‘Drink the water and take the Tylenol, bitch. - Flambae’
After taking the pills and finishing the water, he makes the bed and pulls up his phone. He sees a plethora of text messages from the Z-Team. He heaves a sigh as he quickly orders an Uber to take him home, glad that Chase took Beef home with him. Shuffling out of SDN as fast as possible while not addressing any of the weekend team as he passes them. Once outside, he takes a seat on the benches by the front door. Letting the morning air wake him up more, at least enough to get home safely. A sleek blue car rolls up to the front of SDN. Robert groans as he stands, his knees making small popping sounds.
He quickly confirms it’s his Uber and gets inside. The ride to his apartment is quiet, broken only by the radio’s music. He mumbles a ‘thanks’ to the driver as he exits. Climbing the stairs feels like he’s trying to climb Everest with the pounding headache and cotton mouth. He quickly unlocks the door, excited to take a shower and sit in his chair.
After his shower, he looks through his phone to see that he has been added to a group chat with the Z-Team called ‘Bad Bitches.’ Robert chuckles before sending a quick text.
‘Made it home safe. Thanks for dropping me off at medical. Had a good time last night, we should do it again.’
Robert places his phone down on the counter. He decides to just lie on the floor, using his towel as a pillow. A smile breaks out when he hears his phone buzzing like crazy. He closes his eyes and quickly falls to sleep.