Work Text:
Nobara traces the length of Maki’s arms and grips her girlfriend's biceps savoring how they flex and wrap possessively around her.
“Not every battle is fought with fists and weapons, you know. That’s why it’s important to keep my beauty, wits, and tongue as equally devastating as my physical prowess and cursed technique,” she says with utmost seriousness but coupled with sticking tongue in between a victory sign and waggling eyebrows.
Maki's eyes bug out as Nobara forgoes subtlety.
Placing her hands on either side of the taller girl's hips, she guides them until the back of Maki’s knees hit the side of the bed. Slipping her hands under Maki’s shirt hem, she writes iloveyous with her thumb on to the firm plane of Maki’s abs, like she has been for the last two months, hoping every time she does so it will protect and imbue her love into ever fiber of Maki’s being. "I also love being pampered and taking care of myself. Call it a labor of love, but I don’t really consider it labor since I love myself.”
Nobara tiptoes to give Maki a fleeting kiss on the lip before she prefaces, “Anything and anyone worth loving isn’t laborious; the effort put forth is simply a testament to their worth.”
She nuzzles her nose against Maki's and presses their foreheads together, "I hope this doesn't come as a shock and I don't want you to feel pressured or expect you to say it back --"
Maki stiffens, but Nobara knows she cannot leave this hanging between them. "I love you, Maki and I'm in love with you;" maintaining a firm hold on the no-longer-breathing girl, she reassures, "it's okay if you're not ready to say it." The hurt lancing through her chest, squeezing her throat, and blurring her vision makes speaking difficult, but she reminds herself the priority is Maki, "I would also understand if you don't love me back."
The silence stretched between them leaves Nobara teetering on the precipice of heartbreak. Even though she knows Maki's built more walls than a labyrinth, the reason she's held off her confession for weeks, she's not going to let fear stop their budding relationship.
Blinking away tears threatening to spill from the rejection hanging over her, Nobara tries another approach, "Would you like to be left to process your thoughts or --", Maki shakes her head, no, so Nobara reaches for Maki's hand -- a lifeline between the ever widening chasm separating them as the oppressive silence wedges them further apart.
Nobara gasps. Maki's usually freakishly warm hands are leaden, cold and rigid. She scrutinizes Maki, noting her clammy hand is trembling, her eyes unfocused, her breathing shallow.
Instinct takes over. In a hushed soothing tone, uncharacteristic for the usually abrasive and loud ginger, she coos, "Hey Maki, it's Nobara. Can you hear me? I need you to listen and focus on my voice."
She might as well confess everything if this is going to be her only chance. "I've never been one to hold back. I'm vain, outspoken, stubborn. I've always felt like I never fit in, but when I met you, I finally understood why. You accept me as I am and never ask to be anything other than myself."
Maki remains rooted, unmoving.
"It took a while for you to let me in. You built a lot of walls, Maki, and I understand why you want to protect yourself. I need you to know that the fears you carry, shame you bury, and doubts you hold --they don't scare me. I want to stand beside you through it all."
Maki throws her head back, the corded muscles on her neck taut, her face locked into a grimace.
This isn’t how she planned to confess; all the times she envisioned how this might have transpired, plunging Maki into a panic attack was not amongst them. Her confession may have triggered Maki’s reaction but Nobara understands this isn't about her; rather it's a symptom of Maki’s traumatic upbringing. This is something Maki must overcome but she needn't do it alone. While she doesn’t want to worsen the situation by pushing Maki to her breaking point, hearing the truth might actually help ground Maki enough to snap her out of it.
Nobara places Maki's hand palm side down on her chest keeping it firmly in place with her own before continuing, "Wherever you've gone, whatever demons you're fighting, know that I will keep you safe."
All she can think to do is keep bearing her soul in the hopes of showing Maki that even though the prospect of love is terrifying, it just might be worthwhile. "I see your flaws, your perceived weaknesses, and I love those parts of you. I love all of you, Maki -- the beautiful and the broken."
Nobara resumes mapping iloveyous on the curve of Maki's hipbone as she conveys, "I admire your strength to walk away from your family, your ambition to become the clan head, your courage to dream of a better life for you and your sister, your dedication to protect those who cannot protect themselves. You could have chosen to become jaded, cruel, or selfish, but instead you choose to fight for love."
Silent tears stream down Maki's face.
The younger woman had prepared for the heartbreak of rejection, but not the despair that grips her at seeing Maki's anguished helplessness. Removing the hand on Maki's hip, Nobara gingerly cups Maki's wet cheek and presses the hand holding Maki’s palm against her chest, she chokes, "Do you feel my heart? It belongs to you now. It has for a while.” She sighs, so much for not sounding desperate, crazy, or needy; smooth Kugisaki.
"If holding yourself together becomes too much and you want me to hold you while you figure it out, then just squeeze my hand twice. I’m not going anywhere. When you’re ready, please come back to me."
Maki’s rigid body quakes. She lets out one shuddering gasp and Nobara feels Maki reach for the lifeline she offered and tugs. Maki folds herself into Nobara, who keeps Maki held aloft -- keeps her from being swallowed under the weight of her fears and doubts finally bubbling to the surface. Nobara breaks her heart open for Maki and shelters her in the promise of a love so enduring it will heal the hurt festering within; a steadfast love that leaves no room for doubt.