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Jake knew it was wrong. He had spent so long building a relationship and gaining Enoch's trust and he knew that doing this would destroy all of that but he really had no choice. He shoved Enoch's shoulder, not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to offset his steering.
"Get yer skinny arse back 'ere, ya cheatin' bastard!" Enoch shrieked and Jake burst out laughing as Dry Bowser plummeted off the track and Luigi cruised past into first place. "No!" he howled. "No! No! No! Mac a' ghalla!" He managed to pull himself up from sixth to second but he wasn't quite fast enough to cross the finish line before Jake. He buried his face in his hands. "You bellend." he whimpered pathetically. Jake smiled smugly and looked at him expectantly. "No way. You cheated."
"Yeah, but you keep winning! It's no fun if you keep winning!" Jake pulled out his best puppy eyes. "Please, baby?" Enoch rolled is eyes.
"Fine." he huffed. "If you swear on your life that you'll never cheat at Mariokart again." Jake held up one hand and placed the other over his heart solemnly.
"I swear." Enoch rolled his eyes again, shrugged off his suspenders and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. "Woo!" Jake put down his controller and clapped, pausing to curiously inspect the X button-shaped dent in his thumb. This earned a small laugh from Enoch, now shirtless, who glared playfully at Jake before picking up his controller and confidently pressing 'next race'.
"What on Earth are you two doing?" Emma walked in and stood dumbfounded at the strange sight before her.
"Playing strip Mariokart." Enoch said as if it was obvious, not taking his eyes off the TV.
"Why?"
"Well," Jake explained, also not looking away, "we wanted to do something different with our date night so Enoch suggested strip poker but I dunno how to play poker and he couldn't be bothered to teach me so I suggested strip Uno but we don't own any Uno cards so Enoch suggested strip chess but I didn't think that would be very fun cuz we both kinda suck at chess so I suggested strip Wii Bowling but we, uh, we couldn't do that."
"By the way, nothing to do with us," Enoch chimed in, "uh, someone was playing with the Wii and they must've, oh, I don't know, forgotten the wrist straps and now one of the remotes is over there," he gestured to his work table that was strewn with fragments of white plastic and shattered circuitry, "and the other, God rest it's soul, is somewhere at the bottom of the ocean." Jake nodded in agreement, glancing guiltily towards the open porthole window.
"Again, nothing to do with us. Anyway, then Enoch suggested strip Mariokart."
"I'm winning." Enoch, shirtless, and smirked at Jake who sat beside him, naked but for his boxers, his socks and one shoe. Emma stared at them, unsure of what to say.
"Well, be quick about it. Miss Peregrine sent me to get you for supper." And she turned and walked away, leaving her two idiot housemates to their idiotic pastime. "Wait a minute, did you two say you broke the Wii?!"