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Elendil yawned and leaned against the port railing. The sea air always helped to wake him up, but this morning had him still feeling sleepy. Perhaps the demands of the expedition to Middle Earth were just now catching up to him. Perhaps, after…no, he’d cried the tears, not again. One more foot forward into another day. No other choice but to do just that.
At least he was heading home, to Elenna, the land he held dear and would always fight to defend. Home…there was a time it was more peaceful. A time when beliefs flowed in one steady stream rather than forked and eroded at its breaking point. A time when the whole family…no, no, not those memories too now. There might be a time to visit her grave in Andunië again. Now was the time to serve as a Captain, to humbly do his duty.
A seabird, flying parallel to the ship just ahead, cawed and caught the Captain’s attention. He watched its graceful flight. The sparkle of just-rising sun over water ripples below the bird then caught his eye. The sea…as part of him as the breath in his body. It was home just as much as his island was.
He remembered learning about Ossë and Uinen as a child. He chuckled lightly to recall his father, before his marriage, reminding him of the tensions between them. Even the servants of Ulmo had struggles in their union. Yet they stayed together, and that was what mattered.
Would his people, the people of Elenna, stay together? He started to stop his own thoughts again, but then decided to question that, the thought-censoring…he wasn’t sure what was leading his mind to leap here, there, and everywhere this morning – but the leaping might be meaningful. Perhaps he had restricted his own thought too much lately, to unknown consequence, unforeseen liability. Perhaps, just for now, he’d let it wander and see where it led.
Next stop: the loss of Númenorean soldiers in Middle Earth, the purported failure of their mission under Queen Miriel…doubtless, it had the potential to widen the fracture between his people’s factions. What would he do then? Could he remain neutral? Was that even a possibility, to continue diligently doing his duty and remaining nondescript; would his lineage, his inheritance as the Lord of Andunië, force him into a position?
These questions left his mind in a tangled chatter, and ultimately in a stalled freeze. He stood up fully and took a few steps back to sit by an aft mast. That gave him a new view of the sea, the rising sun, and more seabirds in fluid flight.
Within moments, the view was like a key that unfroze his mind’s tangled block of thoughts – which then seemed to float away on the gentle breeze as it kissed his cheek. Only one resounding wave of thought remained. The clarity with which it came to him had him standing again, firm on two feet at his full height (imposing, he knew, he’d always been told).
The sea, the gifts of the West, those to never be savored ungratefully, just like his island itself, as he had been taught from the bosom…these truths were part of him. There was no denying or disowning them.
“Elendil”...“one who loves the stars.” And “elf-friend”. Rumbling, raucous forces in Númenor might decry such a claim to friendship – but he would keep it. Whatever his past held, what mattered now was remaining “elf-friend.” Of no longer denying what was part of him, what had always been part of him.
Come what may.
It all washed over him for a moment more as he continued watching the light of rising sun on sea ripples and swooping, clamoring birds.
He then smiled and shook his head. Much sober, serious thought before his morning Harad brew. He should check on Miriel on his way to get just that…having lost her sight, she needed any and all assistance he could offer.
He walked towards the closest bulkhead. He had shaken off much of his thought’s heaviness, but it continued to ring and resonate in a corner of his mind, just as seabird calls echoed in his ears.
One more foot forward, one more day – the only way, come what may.