Chapter Text
Sophia had a bad habit.
Well, she had more than one, but starting to smoke cigarettes was a necessary act of rebellion when studying at an all-girls Catholic boarding school. She wasn't proud of it, but there were much worse habits to have. Or at least that's what she told herself to feel better while taking a long drag, leaning against the wall behind the chapel.
"Hi," Manon greeted, arriving from the side of the building, passing by Sophia and positioning herself in front of the gray stone wall the Filipina had been leaning against. The darker-skinned girl then removed the slightly loose stone from its fitting in the wall, revealing the compartment where the students hid their cigarettes.
Manon took one of the last cigarettes in the pack and put it in her mouth, so she could carefully fit the stone back into the wall.
“I’ll need to talk to my supplier later,” she said, cigarette dangling from her mouth, perhaps to Sophia, but probably more to herself.
The girl with braided hair was the main student who brought illegal items onto campus. She and Adela were responsible for maintaining the school’s stock of cigarettes, lighters, and sometimes even alcohol.
Sophia was curious about how they managed to smuggle so much stuff without getting caught, but she thought it was safer not to ask. She just accepted it and took advantage of the opportunity to access the products.
“Can you give me a light?” Manon asked, and the Filipina took the pink lighter from the pocket of her gray blazer uniform, handing it over without saying anything.
The girl’s relieved expression as she lit the cigarette and took a drag was almost comical.
“I needed this,” Manon said, raising the cigarette to show Sophia what she was talking about, and the Filipina laughed.
The two weren't necessarily friends, but they sometimes met in the school's hidden "smoking area" and kept each other company. Manon was, without a doubt, one of the coolest girls in school, she was friendly and charismatic. Sophia was certain she would like her much better if she weren't best friends with the most unbearable girl in that boarding school: Daniela Avanzini.
"What would Dani say if she saw you here smoking in secret, huh?" Sophia teased Manon, who gave her a brief laugh in response.
"Some things are better kept in secret…" she replied, looking at the floor and shaking her head with a slight smile on her face.
Sophia asked, but she already knew very well what Daniela’s thoughts were on secretly smoking behind the school's chapel. Or on really doing anything that wasn't in the Bible. "Saint Daniela," who was morally superior to all the other mere mortal students of Santa Fé, would never approve of it if she knew about the cigarette smuggling.
The Filipina didn’t get how she and Manon could be such good friends. Manon was cool and laid-back, did morally questionable things, skipped classes, and got bad grades. Meanwhile, Daniela was the model student, the perfect girl who followed church rules and attended school mass every Sunday morning. Sophia hated her and that stupid necklace with a huge cross pendant she always wore around her neck.
"But Dani isn't as perfect as she seems…" Manon continued, which caught Sophia's attention. "She only acts that way to try and get her mother's approval, the same mother who abandoned her here in this godforsaken place along with us," she said with a disapproving tone, taking another long drag.
That last sentence got Sophia to reflect a bit on Daniela’s actions, but not enough to make her feel sorry for the girl who had been making her life miserable ever since they met in their first year of high school.
"That doesn't justify the way she treats others," Sophia replied dryly. She could feel the disgust she felt for Daniela dripping from her mouth as she spoke.
More than three years had passed. Three years that she'd known Daniela, and the girl had never given Sophia a single reason to like her. Quite the opposite actually, she always made it clear that she didn't like the Filipina.
And it got even worse this year. In the last year Sophia would have to spend in that hellhole, the nuns in the school decided she was the perfect candidate to share a room with Daniela. All because Yoonchae, the girl who transferred from Korea, needed someone to help her learn the language and Western customs, and the school directors thought it was a brilliant idea to get Megan, Sophia's best friend, to be her chaperone.
Somehow, the nuns picking one of the only Asian girls in the school to do this seemed racist, but Sophia had no way to prove it.
The result was that the Filipina lost her roommate, with whom she had shared a room since her freshman year, and was now stuck with the worst person in the universe for the entire year.
"True…" Manon brought her back to the conversation then, looking at the floor, without trying to change Sophia's mind. She knew she would never be able to do that, "but it explains a lot."
Sophia shrugged, throwing the end of her cigarette on the floor and stepping on it to put it out. All that talk about Daniela ended up ruining the moment of peace and quiet she liked to enjoy in the smoking area on Sunday afternoons.
"I have to go, or soon your friend will report me to the nuns for not having returned to my room yet," she said.
Manon nodded, with a knowing smirk, like she knew very well who Sophia was dealing with.
"Good luck with her," she offered and Sophia laughed.
"Thank you, I'll need it," the Filipina sighed and continued on her way.
"And I want to be part of the school musical this year, don't forget to include me in the play!" Manon shouted, but Sophia was already too far away to respond with anything other than a thumbs-up.
The path from the chapel to the dormitory building wasn't very long, but it was enough to restore Sophia's good mood. The sunset made the leaves of the trees seem even more orange than they already were at that time of year, and the cool wind caressed the girl's face in a way that invigorated her.
The only good part of the boarding school was the contact Sophia could have with nature, passing through the woods and lakes that existed between one building and another.
The girls' dormitory was in a building separate from the school itself, giving them a little more freedom from the nuns' control. Especially on the floor where the older, high school girls stayed. The living room on that floor was always full of girls chatting and lounging on the sofa. Sometimes they even got together to watch soap operas on the old tube TV they had available. But Sophia was a little more introverted, she preferred to spend her nights quietly in the silence of her room. Or at least she preferred to, when she still liked the person she shared the room with.
"You shouldn't smoke on school campus," was the first thing Sophia heard as she stepped into the room.
And just like that, all of her peace of mind went down the drain.
Daniela didn't even bother to turn around to look at Sophia when she spoke, too preoccupied with reading her pink Bible, sitting at her desk.
"I wasn't-" She tried to defend herself, but was quickly interrupted.
"I can smell the cigarette smoke on your clothes all the way from over here," the Latina finally turned to look at her then, staring at Sophia with those hazel eyes that always seemed to see right into her soul.
The Filipina simply sighed and gave up any attempt to hide the truth from her roommate. It was impossible to hide anything from those eyes, and Sophia shouldn't care what Daniela thought of her anyway.
"Well, I needed to have some kind of escape in this school, otherwise I’d end up going crazy," she said, busying herself grabbing her pajamas from her dresser and completely ignoring the intense look the Latina was still giving her.
"You wouldn't need any of that if you just followed the words of the Bible," Daniela replied with that air of superiority that Sophia hated so much, as if it were that simple.
The Filipina just scoffed at that.
"Yeah, sure…" Sophia said, shaking her head.
Sometimes it was better to just not engage in the crazy conversations Daniela brought up, to try and maintain at least a peaceful relationship between the two. Besides, Sophia highly doubted that “following the Bible’s teachings” would do anything to help her. It would most likely only drive her even crazier. She didn’t understand how Daniela hadn’t already gone insane living like that…
“I’m going to take a shower,” the Filipina ended the conversation then, closing her underwear drawer with a thud.
Daniela didn’t try to talk back as Sophia headed to the private bathroom in the room they shared.
She couldn’t help but notice, though, the way Daniela’s gaze followed her, looking up and down at her body, before she closed the door.
☆☆☆
Musical theater, however cheesy it might be, was one of Sophia's favorite things in the world.
As a child, she loved going to see the musicals her mother acted in. From a young age, Sophia learned about everything that happened behind the scenes to make the play happen, and it was there that she fell in love with being on stage.
Ever since her mother died, when she was only 12 years old, she unfortunately no longer had the opportunity to do that. Her father was a very busy businessman, and after he got married again, little of his time was left for Sophia.
He and his new wife then decided to send her to that boarding school, not because they were a Catholic family — Sophia could barely remember the last time she entered a church — but so they wouldn't have to deal with her anymore.
She tried to tell herself she didn't care, but of course, deep down it still hurt.
At least at school she could still dedicate herself to what her mother loved to do. It made her feel closer to her. It wasn't the same as being on stage with her mother, but Sophia felt proud to be following in her footsteps and becoming a person similar to the woman she admired most in life.
Besides, during these times, dedicating herself to theater, Sophia could still be with people who truly cared about her.
"Fi!" Megan shouted as she saw her entering the theater room, "we were just waiting for you to get here to start making plans for the end-of-year musical!"
Sophia smiled at that. Megan had always been a very loyal friend and had always highly valued the Filipina's opinions when it came to theater. It's no wonder she ended up becoming her best friend in there.
Because this was her final year of high school and she’d dedicated herself so much to school theater in the past three years, Sophia was chosen as the group leader that year. She could make whatever creative decisions she wanted for the play, but she thought it was important to get the opinions of all her groupmates before creating anything.
"Sorry I’m late, I… had an unexpected problem,” Sophia said as she reached the circle where the group members were waiting.
Unfortunately, her “unexpected problem” was actually losing the track of time while chatting with Adela and Manon in the school’s makeshift smoking area.
Every Tuesday and Friday, the theater group met in the late afternoon in a room with mirrors where dance classes were also held. Sophia was usually punctual, even more so as the group leader this year, but this time Adela had been very persuasive in inviting her to quickly stop by for a smoke behind the chapel after chemistry class.
The result was: Sophia lost track of time.
When she realized it, there were only 5 minutes left before the theater group meeting started, and she still didn’t have her notes for the play. In a desperate frenzy, the Filipina managed to put out her cigarette, go to her dorm to get her materials for the play, and reach the theater room in just 15 minutes. If anyone had ever done this before besides her, Sophia would say she holds the record for best speed on this route.
When Sophia arrived in the room, Adela and Manon were already waiting, seated, with the most innocent faces they could muster. However, upon joining the rest of the girls in the circle, the Filipina could see Daniela's intense, judgmental gaze. The girl watched her intently, as if she didn't for a second believe in Sophia’s excuse for being late.
Daniela, was facing Sophia, seated on the opposite side of the circle, with her perfectly erect posture, her uniform immaculately pressed, her hair in perfect curls falling over her shoulders, and her thousands of necklaces with religious pendants of crosses and saints around her neck. Her intense gaze, with those hazel eyes, made the Filipina much more nervous than they should.
"Unexpected?" the Latina finally spoke, furrowing her brow to make a confused face that Sophia knew very well was fake.
Sure, Sophia's excuse was very weak, and perhaps she still smelled a little of cigarettes, but she wasn't crazy enough to tell the whole group that she was late because she was smoking tobacco smuggled in by Manon and Adela.
"Yes, a personal unexpected event, which has already been resolved, thank you very much for your concern!" Sophia replied in the same innocent tone that Daniela had feigned when asking, receiving a fake, dissatisfied little smile from the girl in return.
“Okay, let’s talk about the important things then!” Lara, one of Daniela’s best friends and Manon’s roommate, said, breaking the tension of the moment. “What song am I going to sing this year?”
“I think we need a theme for the musical first, right?” Yoonchae asked innocently, and Megan laughed.
The Korean girl’s English was already very good for someone who had only arrived in the country two months ago, and Sophia felt a certain pride in Yoonchae, as if she were her own daughter.
“Yeah, Lara, I think first we have to know what the play is about,” Megan said, with a mocking tone that everyone there knew was just friendly banter between the two.
“Everyone knows I’m the star anyway,” Lara said, receiving a friendly nudge from Manon for that.
Sophia couldn’t tell if she was joking or if she really believed what she said. Not that she’d be wrong, Lara had an angelic voice and was one of the most beautiful and charismatic people Sophia had ever met. But still, the play was for all the group members to shine, and she wouldn't get special treatment because of it.
"I thought we could do this year's play with the theme of Love," Sophia declared, looking around a little nervously to see what her colleagues thought of the theme she had chosen with so much care.
"Love, like, just 'love'?" Adela questioned, voicing what seemed to be in everyone's mind.
Sophia knew that might happen. Her idea was a little unconventional.
"Yes, all forms of love: the love we feel for our friends, our family, our cultural roots," she said, looking at Yoonchae, "romantic love, love for animals and nature. There are many ways to talk about love," she explained with a sigh.
The Filipina girl was a romantic. She loved romance movies and books, watched soap operas with great romantic dramas, and imagined herself going through those situations. For her, it was the best possible idea to combine her two great passions: musical theater and love stories.
"I liked it!" Yoonchae was the first to speak, smiling shyly at Sophia.
"It's a very broad theme, we can fit a lot of cool things in it," Ezrela agreed, and Sophia's chest began to swell with happiness.
"I think it’s cute," Lexie was the next to speak, and soon the room was filled with excited voices offering their ideas.
Sophia wrote down everything the girls agreed should be part of the play and mediated the discussions on controversial ideas. By the end of the meeting, she already had the beginning of a script and was satisfied with her colleagues' participation in turning her idea into a potential beautiful play.
There was only one thing left for her to do.
When everyone was already standing and getting ready to leave, Sophia pulled Megan by the hand and took her along to meet Daniela. Not because Sophia was afraid to face Daniela alone (maybe she was a little), but because she had a mission.
"You two will be responsible for the choreography this year," Sophia told the two, who were now standing in front of her.
While Megan seemed radiant and excited by the news, Daniela just acted as if it were the most obvious choice the Filipina could have made. And yes, it was obvious that Daniela was the best dancer in the school. Sophia had only had a few chances to see her in action, but every time her dancing skills left the Filipina speechless. Not to mention the fact that both of the girl's parents were professional dancers, and everyone at the school knew they were very good.
"Is there anything specific you want me to include in the choreography?" Daniela asked, in a bored tone.
"Well, when I chose the theme, I was thinking about you…" Sophia admitted, seeing Daniela's eyes widen slightly at what she said.
She quickly realized that perhaps she hadn't chosen the best words to express what she wanted to say.
"I mean, I thought of your relationship with dance!" Sophia quickly corrected herself, feeling her face redden from the confusion and the intensity of Daniela's gaze. "You know, because your parents are ballroom dancers, and you also carry that love for dance passed down from them," she finished, stumbling over her words, but relaxing a little when she saw the curly-haired girl nodding.
"Okay…" Daniela replied after a while, allowing Sophia to finally release the breath she didn't even know she was holding.
"If you want to put together a ballroom dance choreography, I can be your partner!" Megan then said excitedly, reminding Sophia that she was there too.
"That wouldn't be right, two women being dance partners," Daniela explained dryly, leaving a bad taste in Sophia's mouth.
"We’re in an all-girls school, I think the audience would understand," Megan shrugged, making Daniela huff.
"I'm not interested, okay?!" the curly-haired girl said rudely, emphasizing the word and Sophia quickly understood what she meant by that.
Megan had been openly bisexual since freshman year. Everyone knew this, including Daniela, and Sophia knew there was nothing innocent on the way she spoke to Megan just now.
In all the ways that Daniela considered herself morally superior to her classmates, Sophia was still unaware of her homophobic side. Not that she was surprised…
"Do as you wish, just remember to leave your prejudices out of my play," the Filipina said dryly, making it very clear that she didn't approve of what Daniela meant at all.
Sophia then pulled Megan along and the two headed towards the door.
"That girl needs therapy," Megan whispered in Sophia's ear as they left, and the Filipina couldn’t agree more.
☆☆☆
“Look what I made!” Megan exclaimed so loudly that Sophia swore the whole cafeteria could hear her, proudly raising her plate for all the girls at the table to see her work of art.
“What is that?” Lexie tilted her head to see if she could understand what her friend was trying to show, but failed miserably.
“Isn’t it obvious?!” Sophia’s best friend asked, confused. “It’s a potato man!” she said, pointing to the mashed potatoes that seemed to be part of the “potato man’s” body and then to the “arms” and “legs” made out of french fries.
Sophia loved Megan, but her habit of trying to make “art” with her leftover food at lunchtime was one of the things the Filipina girl disliked most about her.
Frustrated, Megan gave up trying to make her friends understand her puppet and put the plate back on the table. That was when potato man’s tragic life came to an end as he was murdered by Yoonchae, who had been sitting next to Megan.
The Korean girl plunged her fork right into the "heart" of the mashed potato body and squirted ketchup on the spot, pretending it was blood. She even made sound effects with her mouth.
"I kill the potato man!" the younger girl emphasized, prompting Megan’s astonished look.
"Yoonchae, why!?" Megan joined in the play-pretend, making a crying face, but by this point Sophia wasn't paying attention anymore.
Finally, Megan had found someone who could match her craziness.
"Where do you plan to go on the end-of-month trip?" Adela asked, completely ignoring the two girls at the table who continued playing with their leftover food.
Every month the students of the boarding school were taken by the nuns on a trip to the city nearest to the boarding school. It always happened on the last Sunday of the month, and this time, finally, Sophia would be able to stroll around town without chaperones, along with the other girls who were already over 18.
"Sophia gets to choose, we have to celebrate her coming of age!" Lexie said, looking at the Filipina who could barely contain her happiness.
"Wow, there's so much freedom I don't even know what to do!" Sophia replied, looking at her friends who were already over 18. "Where do you guys usually go?"
Adela replied with a smirk that looked like trouble.
"I know exactly where I'm going to take you," the girl said, without giving further details, which only made Sophia's anxiety a thousand times greater. She was about to bombard her friend with questions when Lara and Manon approached their table.
"Hi girls, sorry to bother you," Manon said with a formality that didn't quite suit her, then looked directly at Sophia. "I just wanted to know if you’ve seen Dani around…"
The girls at the table exchanged confused glances at the question.
"I thought she'd be with you," Lexie replied, echoing everyone's thoughts.
None of the girls at the table with Sophia were friends with Daniela, they barely spoke to the curly-haired girl unless it was absolutely necessary.
"Yeah, she usually has lunch with us every day, but she didn't show up today," Lara explained with a worried tone.
Sophia found it all so strange. Not that she cared about her roommate, but Daniela seemed normal that morning when they woke up for class. Unbearable as always, with her almost ritualistic routine of waking up at 5 a.m. to pray the rosary and then spending at least another half hour getting ready in the bathroom.
"I didn't notice anything different about her this morning," the Filipina shrugged, trying to pretend that none of it bothered her.
Daniela's friends were about to thank her and leave when Megan spoke.
"Maybe you guys should check the main lobby bathroom," the girl said while poking at what was left of the potato man.
The comment made the whole table fall silent and look directly at Megan. Even Sophia, who was already used to her best friend's eccentricities, found it very strange.
Realizing they were all just waiting for an explanation, Megan finally looked at Lara and Manon to continue.
"I might have heard her crying in one of the bathroom stalls before coming to lunch…" she finally said, still acting strangely.
"Okay, we’ll look for her in there. Thanks, Megan!" Manon said, turning and heading down the hallway.
The girls at the table waited silently until Daniela's friends were out of earshot to resume their conversation.
"Are you sure it was Dani crying in the bathroom?" Adela asked, as if she were dying to hear the whole story.
For some reason, this made Sophia uneasy. She didn't like the idea of her friends gossiping about her roommate.
"Yes, I even asked if everything was okay, but she asked me to leave her alone," Megan shrugged, but Sophia realized that it hurt her.
Megan seemed tough and indifferent, but deep down she was very emotional.
"I don't know, for some reason I feel like she doesn't like me…" Megan said, and Sophia couldn't deny that she had noticed it too.
She thought it might be Daniela's homophobia acting up, but if that were the case, would she still be one of Lara's best friends? She surely must know about the Indian girl being openly queer. Practically the whole school knew that from the first day Lara set foot in there.
But then again, why would Daniela have something against Megan?
"I think she doesn't like anyone besides her two friends," Ezrela offered the comforting phrase to Megan, and Yoonchae nodded in agreement.
She wasn't wrong either.
"Exactly. She hates me and I still have to share a room with her," Sophia rolled her eyes exaggeratedly, managing to elicit a slight smile from her friend.
"But why would she be crying in the bathroom, then?" Adela tried to get more details once again.
Megan looked thoughtful for a moment, but she had something else to say.
"She seemed to be on the phone with her mother before she started crying…" Sophia's best friend spoke more quietly, as if telling a secret. "She was saying that she had already apologized a million times, but her mother didn't seem to be taking it very well."
Sophia felt a pang in her chest. She felt too intrusive knowing this kind of thing about Daniela. To her, the Latina was just a detestable person without any depth. If she discovered that the girl was something more than that, she risked starting to feel empathy for her and, even worse, starting to care.
The last thing the Filipina wanted was to feel empathy for the girl who always treated her badly. But she couldn't help but think about how, if she were alive, Sophia's mother would never make her cry like that, regardless of what she might have done wrong…
"Who would have thought that “perfect Daniela” would have to go through something like this…" Lexie said thoughtfully.
"She’s definitely not that perfect though, that girl must be full of flaws to act the way she does," Adela added harshly, and once again, Sophia didn't like the direction this conversation was going in at all.
She didn't quite understand why, but she felt she shouldn't delve into the layers surrounding her roommate. After all, it was much easier to just keep hating her and go on with her life.
The Filipina then decided to change the subject and went back to talking about the city trip at the end of the month. Her friends didn't mind and soon joined the conversation, excited about the plans. But that tight feeling in Sophia's chest remained.
The afternoon classes were useless for her, since Sophia couldn't concentrate on anything else. For some reason, the mental image of Daniela, alone and crying in the bathroom stall, wouldn't leave her mind. Not only that, but the issue of Daniela's rejection by her mother was also bothering Sophia. What could her roommate have done to deserve that treatment? Was her mother really as bad as Manon said she was?
Giving up on trying to study that afternoon, Sophia decided it would be best to just try and distract herself with a book or a movie. She skipped her last class, which was just an hour reserved for Bible studying in the school library, and went back to the dormitories.
When she entered the room, Sophia noticed that Daniela's backpack was already there. Even though she was very organized, the girl still gave some discreet signs of being alive when she was in their room, like the blazer delicately hanging on the back of her desk chair and the shoes meticulously placed right next to her dresser.
The strangest thing was that the Latina wasn't keeping to her class schedule either. Daniela had a reputation for being an exemplary student, with perfect attendance. She definitely wasn't in her normal state of being if she was skipping…
By the time Sophia had processed all that information, the bathroom door opened, finally revealing that her roommate was indeed there.
Daniela stepped out, distractedly drying her curls with a towel, and bumped into the Filipina. The brief, shy smile she gave her was enough to make even a bigger mess in Sophia’s head.
The Filipino girl spent a much longer time than it was acceptable staring at a water drop that trickled down Daniela's neck until it disappeared inside her pajama top. Realizing what she was doing was completely unacceptable, Sophia quickly glanced up to meet her roommate’s eyes.
"Hi…" Sophia said somewhat foolishly, feeling her face burn with embarrassment.
The Filipina had to admit that sharing a room with Daniela could be challenging at times. Not for the various reasons she had already listed, but because it was impossible to deny the girl's stunning beauty.
Luckily, Daniela was very reserved and always changed clothes inside the bathroom. Sophia did the same, out of respect for her roommate. But at small moments like these, with the Latina's body still damp from the shower, and the tank top and short pajama shorts that Daniela wore, it was hard not to notice how good she looked.
“Hi,” the girl replied, frowning in confusion at Sophia's sudden lack of social skills.
“Are you okay?” The Filipina asked as Daniela passed by her, heading towards the bed.
Her attempt to sound normal again seemed to be working, but unfortunately, the question only got Daniela even more confused.
“It's just that Lara and Manon were looking for you at lunch today, they seemed worried.” Sophia quickly clarified and noticed Daniela's expression immediately closing up, “and Megan said that-”
“I'm fine.” The Latina replied quickly, cutting Sophia off.
“Good.” Sophia replied, but noticed that Daniela was bothered by the mention of Megan.
Perhaps she felt invaded by Megan telling Sophia about hearing her crying in the bathroom. Perhaps she didn't like talking about her own feelings. In any case, the Filipina decided to respect her space and ended the conversation, sitting on her bed and opening the book she kept on her bedside table.
"But thank you…" Daniela's voice came out timidly, but it still made Sophia lift her head and look at her. The Filipina hadn't expected to hear that from her roommate, "...for your concern."
The Latina's face was flushed, and her hazel eyes didn't meet Sophia's directly. Still, it was a good step forward in their relationship, and the Filipina smiled and nodded in acknowledgment of what Daniela had said.
For the rest of the night, the two roommates stayed in a comfortable silence, each doing their own activities, until bedtime.
☆☆☆
On Thursday nights, Sophia had the room all to herself while Daniela attended the school’s religious group study, which she had become the leader of that year.
Usually, the Filipina enjoyed the moment of solitude and just stayed in reading or listening to music and singing loudly in the shower. But today she longed to relive the joy of having Megan as her roommate.
Sophia invited her best friend to spend the night with her, gossiping and painting each other's nails on the bedroom floor.
"Admit it, you miss having me as your roommate," Megan said after telling her a very silly joke that made Sophia laugh simply because it was so ridiculous.
"I tell you that every day!" Sophia said, not understanding why her friend would ask her to say it again.
"But it's always good to hear that I'm better than that Daniela girl," Megan explained, and Sophia just laughed. She also always told her friend how difficult it was to share a room with Daniela.
“You know very well that you’re my best friend and that no one will ever take your place, Megan,” Sophia admitted as she finished cleaning the nail polish off her friend’s fingers. “All done!”
Megan paused to admire the Filipina’s manicure and sighed with satisfaction at what she saw.
“I missed this too, Yoonchae doesn’t like painting my nails,” she said, and the two laughed. “But speaking of roommates, how’s yours after yesterday?” Megan’s tone became more serious then.
Sophia remembered how peaceful they had been to one another the night before and how Daniela seemed a little less terrible to her this morning. She even wished Sophia to have good classes, something that had never happened before. Whatever it was that had made Daniela a less unbearable person, Sophia was hoping it would stay that way.
“She seems fine…” the Filipina said with a shrug.
Megan seemed surprised and even a little suspicious, but she accepted the answer and didn't ask any more questions. The two friends then put away the mess they had made in the room with the nail polishes and cotton balls, not wanting to rely on Daniela's good humor to also overlook the mess they had made, and went to Sophia's bed, where they squeezed together to watch a movie on the Filipina's tiny laptop.
The movie was a Christmas romantic comedy that Megan insisted they should watch. All Christmas movies were just a big cliché to Sophia, but she still liked them. And she missed spending time with her best friend, so she would probably watch even the worst movie in the world if that's what Megan wanted.
The night was going perfectly fine, exactly the way Sophia had planned, until, unfortunately, the two friends were interrupted earlier than expected.
Daniela returned from her religious study group a little earlier than usual and turned on the bedroom light as she entered, almost blinding the two girls who had been watching the movie in the dark.
The Latina's face immediately fell when she saw Sophia and Megan sitting side by side on the bed, as if they were doing something horrible just by being there.
"It's almost ten, you should go back to your room, Megan," Daniela said without even looking at the girl, walking straight to her desk to put down her bag.
The two friends looked at each other, still a little confused.
At first, Sophia wanted to fight Daniela. The relationship between the two, which seemed to be finally improving, suddenly returned to square one with that rude display from the Latina.
"It's okay, Fi, we'll finish the movie another day," Megan's calm voice diverted her attention and lessened some of the anger bubbling inside Sophia's chest.
Taking a deep breath, the Filipina closed her laptop and stood up to accompany her friend to the door.
"See you tomorrow in class," Megan offered her a weak smile and a tight hug before leaving, which helped Sophia calm down.
She decided she would let it go this time, prioritizing maintaining a peaceful living environment, until Daniela spoke again.
"You should ask me before bringing strangers into our room," the Latina said while busy packing her bag for the next day's classes, and that finally made Sophia snap.
"Strangers!? Megan is my best friend and you've known her for years!"
She didn't want to fight, but her blood was boiling, and it had already been very difficult to get the words out without shouting. Her tone didn't faze Daniela in the slightest though, who simply stopped what she was doing to calmly look at Sophia.
“Doesn’t matter, I don't like coming into my room and finding people I wasn't expecting to see here.” Her voice was firm, but controlled, in a way that only made the Filipina angrier.
“And I don't like it when my friends are treated badly!” Sophia wasn't shouting yet, but she could feel herself slowly losing control. “I've never been rude to your friends!”
That made Daniela stop to think. Her jaw tensed and relaxed for a few times until she finally decided to answer.
“That's different…”
Sophia was confused at first, but soon understood what the girl was trying to say.
“Different how?” The Filipina questioned in a firm voice, getting closer to Daniela with a rigid posture. “It's because Megan is bisexual, isn't it?” Sophia questioned, and that finally silenced Daniela.
They were so close at that point Sophia could see the Latina's throat moving as she swallowed drily, with an apprehensive look. Sophia was winning this fight, and the feeling was so good that it made her want to provoke her roommate even further.
“You know, it's very hypocritical of you to be homophobic like that…”
Daniela then tried to take a step back, but the back of her legs bumped into the desk behind her.
“What do you mean by that?” The curly-haired girl asked, looking at Sophia suspiciously, her voice conveyed little confidence.
The Filipina debated for a moment on whether or not she should say her next words. She could just let it all go and move on with her night, but something inside her urged her to stoop lower than that. And she just couldn't resist it.
“I’ve heard the rumors, you don’t fool me.” Sophia admitted then, and noticed how Daniela's heart raced at her words.
“What rumors?” The Latina's voice was just a weak whisper, as if she were afraid to find out the answer to that question.
Sophia took a small step back. She knew how wrong spreading rumors was. She herself never sought to find out anything about anyone, she hated gossip. That rumor, however, reached her ears against her will. She had friends who knew people all over the school, she had access to privileged information during her smoking breaks behind the chapel. She knew more than she should about several students at the school. But this rumor…
Sophia never believed it was true. It didn't make any sense. Even so, she wanted to try to hurt Daniela in the same way Daniela had been hurting her when she mistreated her best friend.
"That your mother put you here because she caught you kissing a girl," Sophia finally said, and the silence she received in response was the last thing she expected to hear from Daniela after spilling those words.
She always believed that rumor to be the biggest lie. In no universe would Daniela ever have kissed a girl. Not the Daniela she knew, the Daniela who prays the rosary every day and makes faces at Megan for being bisexual. No, that Daniela would never do that.
But the more time passed, the more deafening the girl's silence became. Her green eyes were shining with tears that Daniela would never let spill, the pain and frustration in her eyes didn't hide the conflict hidden behind them.
"You don't know what you're talking about…" the Latina said in the lowest, most controlled voice she could manage. The hard swallow she gave afterward left Sophia even more confused.
Could that really be true?
The Filipina could feel all the anger that had accumulated in her body a minute ago slowly dissipating.
"Well, you also don't know what you're talking about when you talk about Megan," Sophia replied more calmly then, beginning to feel a little guilty for having said that to Daniela, "she's just a friend, that's all."
Daniela took a deep breath, looking intently into Sophia's eyes, as if searching for something there. After a while, seemingly having decided to believe what the Filipina had said, Daniela simply nodded silently.
"I'm sorry for being rude to her."
Sophia was taken aback, but felt she could finally breathe easier with the apology.
"It's okay," she said, taking another step back, as a sign that she didn't want to fight anymore.
Daniela took a deep breath and finally walked past Sophia.
"We should go to sleep," she said timidly, opening her pajama drawer without looking at her roommate.
Sophia nodded, but Daniela was already locked inside the bathroom by then and didn't notice it.