Chapter Text
There was something oddly unsettling and shuddering about her image in the mirror when she turned to face it. She hadn’t seen it for herself since it wasn’t as obvious before, but now her belly was protruding like a tumor that had latched itself to her body. Akira grazed her hand lightly across the skin on her stomach; it was harder than expected. Some days there was a slight fear, and nightmares came every other week. The other aides and nurses were kind, but apathetic. She was growing a new life inside her. An heir for an empire.
No one ever told her what it would be like. The sickness, weariness, and lack of strength. Certain things didn’t taste the same way they used to all her life, and sometimes the smell of tea was enough to make her feel like hurling. Some days would wake like a dream and she felt she was still her normal self, until a pain struck her from below. Her feet on the ground felt uneven and heavy when she took any step down to her quarters. This was the complete opposite of who she was– who she had always been.
Her masculine features were a blatant mismatch to this sight, it was frustrating. Akira slid her shirt down, still annoyed that the bump was visible. It would only get bigger from now on, the nurse had said the other day. It already seemed too large in her opinion. From now on she wouldn’t step foot on the common halls of the palace. Not because she couldn’t, but because Shiki deemed it unnecessary. The other aides had given their notice that she was relieved of her duties until ordered otherwise. Many of the people she saw on a daily basis were now sectioned off from her and she couldn’t remember how long it had been since she last saw some of them. There was a lingering sorrow in her chest that she couldn’t get rid of.
Now she would stay confined in her room or the nursing wing and wait for this thing to spawn from her body. Her uniform and baton were taken away and replaced with everyday clothes. Sometimes a nurse would even come in and bother her throughout the day without warning. She had no power to complain about any of this. All she knew was to comply. Comply to every command, every wave of a hand, every slash of a jumping bat, every caress, or violent strike. Shiki had made it so.
It had been several days since she last saw Shiki, despite knowing she was probably aware of everything that had to do with her. Lately the palace grounds were busy with rustling and cries. Akira was not allowed to go and check, but an aide had told her that more rebels had attacked some of the men patrolling the outskirts of the city. To think that there were still people that would think to oppose Shiki’s reign… She thought that was likely why Shiki was away from the palace. She would often come to see Akira either at the clinic rooms or at her room whenever she pleased. It was also because of her state that Shiki didn’t bother her too much. Even if that was the case, she was the only one that could give Akira some semblance of comfort.
She remembered how Shiki kissed away a tear forming at the corner of her eye and caressed her cheek with an untrustworthy smile when she was bedridden. The physician had just confirmed to them that she was expecting. A blurry image of the room and the distorted sound of a heart monitor was all she could make out. There was blood and trembling all over her hands and fingers. A fear that ran through her spine like nothing she had ever felt, like a primal instinct she had locked away and tried to replace with reason.
She remembered even more the blood splattered on her body and the violent ringing in her ear when Shiki fired her pistol right beside her. She had been blindfolded that entire time until Shiki freed her from the tight knot around her head. A man’s body sprawled out before them with a pool of blood growing wider and wider from his head. She never saw his face, much less knew who he was. He had on the uniform they all wore, so she thought for a moment that she must have seen him at least once, but Shiki had the body taken away immediately. There was no more use to him. He had been there to follow an order, and whether by knowing fate he sensed this was his last day on Earth, Shiki made sure that nothing of him would be left behind, not even a memory. All records were wiped and others silenced either by discipline or violence.
Akira knew the whole time it was not Shiki’s hands that were taking her body, but she still heard Shiki at her side helping her ease the anxiousness that was deteriorating her soul that day. The man’s grunts and breaths were jarring, and she felt disgusted when she sensed how her body reacted to him with every thrust. If this was the price to pay to fulfill Shiki’s wish, then she would pay it at any cost. This time and as many more times necessary.
Shiki said they would have an heir, but she didn’t want just anyone. Adopting was near impossible where they were. A city was being rebuilt in their image, and women were still few and far in between, much less one that could shoulder the burden of a powerful drug kingdom. Akira was confused, then alarmed. Another wave of anxiety filled her stomach. Shiki grazed her naked body one night and whispered these things in her ear in a sweet tone after offering herself as it was always expected of her to do. Her body shuddered and spasmed to the touch, but never fought back. Of course it had to be her. There was no one else to count on. No one that belonged to Shiki more than her.
Again she tried not to look at her reflection on the window glass to avoid spotting the bump that was forming in her stomach. There was a bowl of porridge and some tea left in front of her, but she couldn’t care to pick them up. She had just finished her stay there for an ultrasound. The physician had finally approved her for some painkillers which the nurses were getting ready for her to take. The image scans of the fetus were on the screen, and several copies were already on the rotating shelf to compare to the ones from the last session. Akira never kept any of them.
The nurse finally came over to her and handed the pill over. It was powdery and hard to swallow. Then she got reminded to eat otherwise the head physician would have to reprimand them. Akira followed suit without saying much. Outside the door she kept hearing the groans of people that were rushed to get first aid. It wasn’t a packed area, but it was still more noise than she was used to hearing in this bland and bleak hall.
After going back to her room she curled into a ball and wanted to sleep the weeks away. Being isolated like this made the days go by twice as slow. She didn’t need to talk to anyone, just be out there, doing something, helping someone or something. Even as Shiki’s aide she wasn’t given too many tasks, but she still had some authority that reflected itself on the other workers and guards. Now this felt like those days when Shiki had her locked in that gloomy room when they were still in Igra, except Shiki wasn’t coming back to her every night anymore. Not that Shiki would ever want to hear Akira's complaints about how she was doing. She thought it was probably a non-issue to her and there was no point.
She closed her eyes, but still failed to fall asleep. She wasn’t sure how much time was passing, but she would keep her eyes closed as long as necessary. That was until she heard a clicking of footsteps followed by the turn of the door handle; it was probably a nurse. She didn’t want to be bothered again so soon so she pretended to be asleep. The door swung open, then silence. Akira heard a slow pacing around the bed and then silence again. The door closed after another moment and she felt relieved that they didn’t try to wake her. Then she jolted at the sound of Shiki’s voice on the other side. She wanted to turn but didn’t. There was no window on her door to see through. She was talking to one of the nurses about Akira’s checkup and ultrasound. There were muffled parts she couldn’t hear as it seemed they had already walked away.
Shiki was standing cross armed and with her uniform completely pristine around her figure. The nurse was showing her papers with information and the newest photo of the ultrasound. It looked indistinguishable to her just like last time. As long as it was all going well Shiki had to reason to be rude or lecture anyone who was taking care of Akira. She hoped she would be able to catch her while she was still awake before going back to her area.
Undoubtedly there were still complications to be wary of with her pregnancy. Akira was still young. Too young to have her body disfigured and traumatized especially knowing the rarity of her blood. Shiki had tried to make sure that the donor she chose for her heir was the most immune to the antidote in Akira’s veins. He had survived testing with both Rein and other substances, even unknowingly. It would’ve been better if she had more men that were disposable enough for these kinds of experiments, but delaying it further would have meant months or even years. Even in Igra she had barely heard of anyone that was compatible enough with Rein enough to defeat her. That friend of Akira’s was the closest thing that had ever appeared in Toshima, and even then, they were wasted so pathetically and washed away by the rain.
“She is still having several pains consistently, but the physician has approved a new painkiller for her and she followed all directions without much trouble.”
Shiki was still skimming through the records and images. If there was high risk, it would be a high reward. Akira was going to pass on her blood to a new heir and make her empire as legitimate as any other. Shiki had hoped that Akira was stronger than any of the data was telling her. Even at her most deteriorated state, she could see her surviving and moving on. People like them didn’t die due to mere depression or despair, they had to be hunted and killed deliberately.
“Make sure she doesn’t inadvertently skip any meals. It would be a problem if she gets too lost in her head.” The nurse nodded and walked off making her footsteps echo throughout the hall. Shiki contemplated going back to the room to check on Akira again even though it would be for nothing.
Akira sat at the edge of her bed still unable to hear their conversation very well. She wanted to see Shiki even if it was just in passing. Now it might be another few days or longer until then. Her lips felt chapped from the dryness of the air and she gulped slightly. Maybe she had laid down for too long that she began to feel thirst again. She shifted herself to reach the nightstand and pour a glass of water for herself. It was still very cold despite there being no ice in it. Her body got a chill when she grabbed and turned around instinctively knowing someone’s gaze was on her.
Shiki had opened the door and was looming over Akira with her shadow. Her glove gripped the handle by the ends of her fingers and they made a weak squeak sound when she let it go. Akira didn’t raise the glass to drink, only waited for Shiki to say something or give approval first. Neither of which were necessary.
“You were awake.” Shiki said deadpan.
“I had just woken up after hearing voices.” Akira replied. She took the smallest sip to hydrate her lips again.
Shiki walked over to grab the side of Akira’s head. She rubbed her thumb across her eyebrow as if to wipe off her sweat. Akira winced slightly and looked up at Shiki waiting for her next action.
Shiki looked at her all over to examine if anything had changed, but it was still just the same Akira she knew. Her skin looked slightly more glossy and paler than before.
Even though the nurse had already confirmed that everything was fine, checking first hand was still important to Shiki. She wanted to grip her more tightly but knew she had to hold back. There were less games to play, and no time to be sadistic with her anymore. She would make sure her baby would come to this world with as least complications as possible.
Akira felt herself calmer with Shiki appearing to her after all. She still looked preoccupied with whatever was happening, but even for a moment she was able to take everything happening outside her room off her mind. She wondered whether she should say something to Shiki, but decided not to and let their shared silence permeate a bit longer.
Shiki wouldn’t think to bother Akira with anything the nurse had told her earlier. There was no point in adding more stress than she had already placed upon her. If things got complicated she would deal with them for Akira’s sake when the time came. This was her ultimate gift for Shiki after all.
“As long as you stay an obedient girl, you’ll be relieved of this.” Her hand slid down to let go of Akira’s temple. It was still cold on her skin. “Don’t disappoint me.”
Shiki fixed the collar on Akira’s soft lined shirt and then walked off to take care of the commotion still outside. The sound of the shutting door echoed in Akira’s ears and she felt the same emptiness from that morning come back to her.