Chapter Text
Jhoanna is known for never staying long. She flirts easily, leaves effortlessly, and never lets feelings linger past the morning. Desire, to her, is a game she always wins because she never plays seriously. Stacey, her best friend and constant, knows this better than anyone. Stacey is the one who drags her home when she drinks too much, the one who laughs when Jhoanna brings a new name into conversation, the one who reminds her that nothing has to mean anything.
“Oh, Staks, bat ka nagmamadali? Saan ang punta mo?” Jhoanna asked, already smiling like she knew the answer.
“Susunduin lang si Ate Aiah sa airport. Dito na kasi siya for good.”
The name landed heavier than it should have.
Of course she knew her.
Aiah. Stacey’s cousin. Tall. Morena. The kind of beautiful that stayed quiet and let people come to her. Jhoanna had seen her once, three summers ago. Long legs. Soft eyes. A smile that did not ask for attention but somehow took it anyway.
“Ah ge. Ingat,” Jhoanna said, light as air.
“Ikaw, saan ka? Drop na lang kita. Baka on the way naman.”
“No thanks, ganda,” Jhoanna replied, winking.
“Hanap babae na naman, Jho?”
“Di mo sure.”
“Wag na wag mong sasabayin si Mikha sa kagaguhan mo, Robles.”
“Sus. Alam mo namang patay na patay sayo ’yun.”
“Whatever. Bye.”
Stacey walked away, and Jhoanna was left standing there, pretending the name Aiah did not follow her like a shadow.
Her phone buzzed.
Sophia: hey boo u free?
Jhoanna: just done with my last class
Sophia: yknow the passcode
Jhoanna: otw
Sophia’s place welcomed her the way it always did. Familiar. Warm. Expectant. The door barely clicked shut before hands were on her, pulling her in like gravity had finally remembered its job. The air thickened fast. Breaths tangled. Words fell apart into sounds that meant more than language ever could.
“Fuck,” Sophia whispered, already unraveling. “You always do this.”
Jhoanna smiled against her skin, slow and knowing. “Do what,” she murmured, voice low, deliberate. “You haven’t even started asking yet.”
Sophia’s head tipped back, frustration bleeding into need. “Jho,” she breathed, fingers tightening uselessly. “Please. Don’t tease me tonight.”
Jhoanna didn’t rush. She never did. She took her time, dragging the moment out until Sophia was shaking with it, until every small movement felt like a promise and a threat all at once. She stayed right where it hurt the most, steady, patient, cruel in the way only someone who knew exactly what they were doing could be.
“Say it,” Jhoanna whispered, voice calm, in control. “Tell me what you need.”
Sophia broke on a breathless sound, words tumbling out, desperate and unfiltered. “Ikaw. Fuck, I need you. Please, Jho. I can’t—don’t stop.”
That was all it took.
Jhoanna pressed closer, attention narrowing, focus absolute. Sophia reacted instantly, body answering before her mind could catch up, back arching, breath breaking apart into soft, wrecked sounds that filled the room. Every second stretched, coiled tight, the tension building until it was unbearable, until Sophia was clinging to her like she might disappear if she let go.
“Good,” Jhoanna murmured, almost gently. “Ganiyan. Let me hear you.”
Sophia did. Unashamed. Unrestrained. Begging without words now, voice reduced to breath and sound and need, every reaction an offering. Jhoanna stayed right there, relentless in her patience, drawing it out, keeping her exactly where she wanted her until the release came crashing through, leaving Sophia undone, shaking, boneless.
After, Sophia collapsed back against the sheets, chest rising and falling, laughter spilling out between gasps.
“Fuck,” she breathed, laughing softly. “That was good.”
“Dapat lang,” Jhoanna replied, voice calm, like she had not just wrecked someone.
She got up, grabbed water, pressed the cold glass into Sophia’s hand with an ease that felt almost intimate.
“Tigilan mo nga kakaganiyan,” Sophia said, half joking, half serious. “Kaya nafa-fall mga ka-fubu mo eh.”
“What?” Jhoanna shrugged. “Human decency lang. Hingal na hingal ka.”
A pillow flew straight at her face.
“Fuck, padating na si Nick. Alis na.”
“Tangina ka talaga, Sophie. Akala ko break na kayo.”
“Eh sa paningin ng nanay at tatay ko, kami pa. Bakit ba?”
“Ugh. Kabit na naman.”
Sophia reached for her wrist before she could leave. “It’s okay, boo,” she said softly. “No one makes me come like you do.”
Jhoanna smiled, gentle and detached all at once.
“Wow. Glad to know.”
She left without looking back. She always did.
_____
Stacey: punta kayo dito bukas, 8pm. konting inuman.
Mikha: okay, princess.
Gwen: g, agad.
Jhoanna: sure.
Stacey: jhoanna, you fucking behave.
Jhoanna: what? wala akong ginagawa ah.
Mikha: wala pa 😏
Stacey: stop it, you guys.
Wala naman akong ginagawa. Ako na naman, Jhoanna thought, rolling her eyes as she pocketed her phone.
The next day passed faster than she expected, hours folding into each other until she was standing in front of Stacey’s gate with Mikha and Gwen beside her. The house loomed familiar and unfamiliar all at once, lights glowing warmly from the upper floors.
She wore all black. Fitted top. Dark jeans. A black leather jacket that hugged her shoulders just right.
Pota. Sakto lang ang lamig pala ngayon.
They made their way inside, laughter and voices guiding them up to the third floor, where Stacey’s wide veranda opened up to the city. The space was already alive with quiet energy. Bottles on tables. Music low enough to invite conversation. A mix of familiar faces and strangers from different universities, all loosely gathered, relaxed, unguarded.
Jhoanna scanned the room lazily at first.
Then she saw her.
Aiah stood near the railing, a drink in hand, hair falling softly over her shoulders. She wore something simple, light fabric catching the breeze, a mini skirt, her presence steady and grounding in a way that felt unfair. When their eyes met, it was brief. Just long enough.
Jhoanna felt it like a spark under her skin.
She took her seat, only to realize, too late, that she was directly across from Aiah.
Aiah smiled first. Not wide. Not teasing. Just soft. Intent.
Jhoanna returned it, suddenly aware of her own posture, the way she sat, the way her pulse had decided to announce itself.
“Hi,” Aiah said.
“Hi,” Jhoanna replied, voice quieter than usual.
Ganda. Putangina.
Mikha elbowed her hard. “Umayos ka, Jho. Off limits ’yan.”
“What?” Jhoanna hissed back. “Ako na naman?”
“Fr,” Mikha muttered. “You look like you’re about to commit a crime.”
Jhoanna leaned back in her chair, jaw tight. Ugh. Frustration curled in her chest, sharp and unfamiliar. This was ridiculous. She had been around beautiful women her entire life. She had never frozen like this. Never cared this much about where to put her hands or how long her gaze lingered.
And yet.
Every time Aiah laughed at something Gwen said, Jhoanna felt it. Every time Aiah tucked her hair behind her ear, she felt it. Even the space between them felt charged, like something waiting to be crossed.
Aiah caught her looking.
Instead of looking away, she tilted her head slightly, curiosity flickering in her eyes. Not invitation. Not refusal. Just awareness.
It was worse than flirting.
Jhoanna took a slow sip of her drink, grounding herself, reminding herself of rules she usually did not bother to follow.
Aiah caught her looking.
Every time their eyes met, it felt like an invitation. Not loud. Not obvious. Just enough to make Jhoanna’s pulse stutter, like Aiah knew exactly what she was doing and was daring her to react.
Tangina. Isa pa, Jhoanna thought, forcing herself to look away for half a second before failing again.
Because the truth was ugly and relentless.
If Aiah only knew what was happening inside her head.
How Jhoanna was already undressing her in her thoughts, not with haste but with reverence. The slow trail of her imagination following the curve of Aiah’s neck, lingering at her collarbone like it was a secret meant only to be discovered, not stolen.
Tangina naman, Jhoanna hissed silently. Anong ginagawa mo sa’kin?
Aiah lifted her bottle and took a sip.
Jhoanna swallowed hard.
Fuck. That mouth. The way her lips curved around the rim, unhurried, unknowing, like she had no idea how dangerous she looked doing something so simple.
Gustong gusto ko ’yang matikman, Jhoanna admitted to herself, the thought hitting harder because it had nowhere to go.
She took another slow drink, grounding herself, clinging to rules she rarely respected but suddenly needed.
Off limits, she reminded herself again.
And for the first time, she was not sure reminding herself was enough.
“Excuse me, CR lang,” Jhoanna said, voice casual, though she was not sure who she was saying it to. Everyone was drunk enough that no one really heard her. Or maybe she was saying it to Aiah, who was still sitting there, watching her the way she did.
She walked fast, heart loud in her ears.
Umayos ka, Jho. Pinsan ’yan ni Staks, she scolded herself, gripping the sink once inside the bathroom.
Pinsan na apparently magiging ka-schoolmate nila this year.
Mas lalong bawal.
She pulled out her phone, needing a distraction, anything.
Loi: jho free tonight?
Jhoanna: nila staks ako eh
Loi: i miss your fingers jho
Jhoanna shut the screen immediately.
“Pota naman,” she muttered, exhaling sharply as if the word itself could purge the thought. She pulled out her vape instead, taking a slow drag.
Oxygen lang. Huminga ka.
When she stepped back out, still grounding herself, she almost bumped into someone.
It was Aiah.
Standing there. Waiting.
“Uy. Ikaw pala,” Jhoanna said, surprise softening her voice.
Aiah nodded, eyes a little unfocused, cheeks warm. Tipsy, but not sloppy. Still composed in that quiet way that made Jhoanna want to ruin it.
“Oh. Dahan dahan lang,” Jhoanna said instinctively, reaching out when Aiah swayed just slightly.
Her hand brushed Aiah’s arm. Warm. Solid.
Too much.
“I’m okay,” Aiah said, smiling faintly. “Thanks, Jho.”
Fuck.
Her name in Aiah’s mouth sounded dangerous. Gentle. Like it belonged there. Jhoanna’s mind betrayed her instantly, spiraling into places she had no business going, imagining that voice closer, breathier, saying her name for reasons she could not afford.
What more if she’s ruining her, the thought came uninvited, sharp enough to make her jaw tighten.
“Sure ka?” Jhoanna asked, tone shifting despite herself, concern bleeding through desire. “Okay ka lang talaga?”
“Yes,” Aiah said softly. “Don’t worry about me.”
Their eyes held.
Too long.
The hallway felt smaller suddenly, like the air had thinned, like one wrong move would cross a line that once crossed could never be redrawn. Jhoanna pulled her hand back slowly, like touching fire and pretending it did not burn.
“Good,” she said, forcing a grin. “Ayoko mapagalitan ni Staks.”
Aiah laughed quietly, a sound that settled low in Jhoanna’s chest. “You’re… very protective,” she said.
Jhoanna swallowed.
“Sakto lang.”
And as they stood there, suspended between what was allowed and what was desperately wanted, Jhoanna realized with a jolt of panic and thrill all at once.
This was worse than flirting.
This was restraint.
And she was not sure how long she could keep it.
____
Stacey and Mikha were nowhere to be found. Either they had already passed out or were very much not sleeping at all.
Jhoanna wandered toward the guest room, exhaustion finally catching up with her. The room was a mess of bodies and soft snores. The big bed, meant for three, was now occupied by almost everyone in various sprawled positions. Legs tangled. Arms flung carelessly. No dignity left.
The only space open was at the far left.
She squinted, checking if there was enough room for her to lie down without falling off.
That was when she realized who was beside it.
Aiah.
“Bakit nandito ka?” Jhoanna asked quietly. “May kwarto ka naman, diba?”
“Mikhs and Staks,” Aiah replied, voice low.
“Oh. Damn. Sorry,” Jhoanna muttered. “Pati kwarto mo, 'di pinalagpas.”
“Sa kwarto niya,” Aiah added. “May friends din doon si Staks. Mga lalaki kasi.”
Jhoanna grimaced. “Sure kang comfy ka dito?”
“Yeah,” Aiah said with a small shrug. “I’ll be fine. I can’t sleep anyway.”
“Mmm,” Jhoanna murmured.
There were two more girls beside Aiah, both out cold. Jhoanna hesitated, then pointed to the narrow space beside her.
“Pwede?”
Aiah nodded without hesitation.
Jhoanna slipped in carefully, taking only a quarter of the comforter, making sure there was space, too much space, between them. She took off her glasses, placed them carefully on the floor, then positioned her arm beneath her head, staring up at the ceiling.
Minutes passed.
Too quiet.
One of the girls shifted. Then the other. The movement rippled through the bed, pushing Aiah backward until she bumped gently into Jhoanna.
“Shit. Sorry,” Aiah whispered.
“Okay lang,” Jhoanna replied, though her heart had already betrayed her.
Aiah was too close now. Close enough that Jhoanna could feel her warmth. Close enough that every breath felt shared.
Jhoanna swallowed, then shifted, trying to get up. “Sa sofa na lang—”
“No,” Aiah said quickly, reaching out before Jhoanna could fully move. “Stay here.”
That was it.
Jhoanna froze, then settled back down. Aiah turned onto her side, now facing her, eyes dark in the low light.
Fuck, Jhoanna hissed silently.
Silence stretched again, heavier this time.
“Pwede?” Jhoanna whispered, lifting her vape slightly. “Sa kabila ko lang ibubuga.”
“I don’t mind,” Aiah said softly.
Jhoanna took a slow drag, careful, turning her head away as she exhaled. She took another, steadier this time.
Before she could turn away again, Aiah reached out, fingers gentle but sure, tilting Jhoanna’s face back toward her.
The breath was shared.
Warm. Intimate. Too close.
Aiah released it slowly between them, eyes never leaving Jhoanna’s.
For a split second, Jhoanna didn’t think.
She reacted.
She pulled the comforter over their heads, cutting them off from the rest of the world, and closed the distance between them in one reckless movement. The kiss was not careful. It was not polite. It was all the wanting she had been holding back, pressed into a single, breathless moment.
Heat. Surprise. A soft gasp swallowed between them.
Then stillness. Not regret. But awareness.
Because once crossed, there was no pretending this was an accident anymore.
And under the cover of shared breath and stolen space, Jhoanna knew one thing with terrifying clarity.
This was no longer just temptation.
This was already a mistake she did not want to take back.
Aiah gasped when Jhoanna bit her lip.
“Mmh,” Aiah breathed.
Jhoanna stopped, looked into Aiah’s eyes, then covered her mouth gently.
“Huwag kang maingay,” Jhoanna whispered.
She began trailing kisses, her free hand wandering carefully. Jhoanna was mindful not to make any loud movements or sounds as she kissed Aiah’s lips, her neck, just below her ear, drawing out a muffled moan from her.
Aiah’s lips were warm, exactly how Jhoanna had imagined.
Jhoanna trailed lower. Aiah had been wearing a skirt earlier.
Tangina. Easy access.
Her hand moved from Aiah’s thigh upward, slowly, deliberately, until it reached her center.
Aiah inhaled sharply at the touch, eyes dark and lustful as she looked at Jhoanna.
“Okay lang ’to?” Jhoanna asked softly.
“I… I’m not used to this,” Aiah confessed.
Tangina. Is she?
“We can stop,” Jhoanna said immediately.
“No,” Aiah replied, guiding Jhoanna’s hand higher herself.
Jhoanna teased her just enough, holding back, especially in this state. She pressed lightly over Aiah’s panties, rubbing with her middle finger at first.
Aiah gasped. Jhoanna felt her response and added another finger, maintaining the slow rhythm.
Aiah was breathing hard now, hands gripping Jhoanna’s head.
“Fuck, Aiah. Ang ganda mo,” Jhoanna murmured, fingers moving steadily against her.
“J-Jho… ugh… ah—” Aiah ground against Jhoanna’s fingers, whispering against her ear. “Ang sarap.”
Jhoanna’s hand slid up to Aiah’s neck, applying just enough pressure to test it, then loosening her grip. Aiah responded by pulling her hand back, wordlessly asking for more.
Aiah gripped Jhoanna’s shoulder, breath shallow.
“Jho, don’t stop,” she whispered, eyes locked on Jhoanna, mouth parted, breathless. “Right there.”
Jhoanna could feel the heat through the fabric, the dampness gathering beneath her touch.
Her other hand moved to Aiah’s chest, fitting perfectly there. She squeezed gently, then teased, drawing another broken sound from Aiah.
“Tangina, Aiah. Ang ganda ganda mo,” Jhoanna whispered as she deepened her touch.
Aiah was completely breathless now, mouth open, eyes unfocused. Jhoanna captured her lips, swallowing the sounds she made.
“Uh— ah— fuck— Jho—I’m com-”
And Aiah came undone.
Aiah’s breathing was erratic, her hands slowly softening on Jhoanna’s shoulder.
Jhoanna’s hand lingered at Aiah’s skirt, the wetness still evident on her fingers.
Before she could even pull away or wipe it off, Aiah reached out, guiding Jhoanna’s hand upward, her fingers finding Aiah’s mouth.
Aiah licked them.
Jhoanna froze, completely caught off guard.
“How about you?” Aiah asked softly, desire still burning in her eyes.
“Okay lang ako. Wag mo na ’kong isipin,” Jhoanna replied, though her voice betrayed her.
“But I want to.”
Jhoanna let out a quiet breath. “Fuck. You like it here? Na anytime may makakarinig sa’tin?”
The thought alone sent heat curling low in her stomach.
“What? You started it,” Aiah said, lips curving.
“No. Ikaw,” Jhoanna hissed. “Gago.”
Aiah’s gaze didn’t waver. “So what if I love the idea of being caught?”
“Tangina,” Jhoanna muttered, and then she closed the distance again, kissing her hard.
Aiah’s lips were impossible. Addicting. Nothing compared. Jhoanna lost herself in it, in the way Aiah kissed back like she had been waiting for permission all along.
Aiah’s hands wandered, clumsy at first, hesitant.
“It's okay,” Jhoanna whispered, guiding her gently.
“Touch me,” Jhoanna murmured, breath hitching.
Aiah followed, tentative but eager, her touch careful, exploratory. She looked up at Jhoanna, eyes asking, unsure.
“Rub it,” Jhoanna breathed, her body reacting instinctively, pressing closer, needing more.
“Sige pa, Aiah.”
Aiah complied, gaining confidence, her movements steadier now, deliberate. Jhoanna bit down on her lip, struggling to stay quiet as sensation flooded her.
“Your vape,” Aiah whispered. “Shotgun.”
Jhoanna exhaled slowly, letting Aiah steal it from her mouth, the exchange messy and intimate, lips crashing together as Aiah kept her right where she wanted her.
“More,” Jhoanna whispered, barely audible.
Aiah listened.
Jhoanna’s breath broke, hands gripping tight as the feeling overtook her, everything blurring into heat and restraint and the danger of being heard.
“Insert,” she gasped softly. Aiah followed
A soft “ugh— ah” slipping from her Jhoanna’s lips. Jhoanna tried to muffle her own sounds, but Aiah’s touch was too good.
“Tangina, Aiah. Sige pa,” Jhoanna whispered.
Aiah pushed further, and Jhoanna felt the heat pooling, overwhelming her.
“Uh— Aiah— tangina— ah— fuck.”
____
Jhoanna lay awake, staring into the dark, Aiah’s warmth still pressed against her side.
This was not a name she could forget by morning.
Stacey’s cousin. Tomorrow’s presence. A line she could not joke away.
Jhoanna exhaled slowly.
She had crossed it.
And there was no going back.