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It was a gorgeous Saturday evening, the kind that makes you thankful to have breath in your lungs. A swirling sunset and clouds fluffy enough to look like they’d been painted in a child’s bedroom hung over the city. A crisp breeze playfully batted at loose clothing, and you’d be hard-pressed to find a Zootopian without a smile on their face on a such a beautiful night.
Well, you could find one: Judy Hopps. She was currently miserable.
“Why is this so hard?! It’s just a dress!” she panic-whispered to herself, having paced around her tiny apartment enough to leave permanent indents in the floor. On her bed laid an assortment of dresses she’d rented for cheap thanks to Fru Fru’s new questionably-legal clothing service. They were all gorgeous, and way out of Judy’s price range, but in this particular instance she didn’t mind pulling a few strings to play dress-up for a day.
As she held up one to compare it to another, her phone buzzed, startling her into fumbling one out of her grasp. Judy frantically tried to smooth out the wrinkles with one hand as she reached for her phone with the other. A quick glance showed that Nick was calling her, which she would’ve looked forward to any other time but was currently doing nothing to soothe her nerves.
She fumbled for the answer button and tried to calm herself as she heard her fox’s breathing come in on the other end of the line. “H-hey Nick, how’s it going?” she stammered, catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror and paling as she saw a frazzled, high-strung bunny trying its best to act natural.
“Whoa, somebunny’s had a little too much caffeine today. You good, Carrots?” Nick’s voice came through the phone speaker, warm and familiar even through the digital distortion.
“Uh, yes, yeah, sorry. I’m still trying to pick out a dress,” Judy admitted.
“Judy,” he chided. “It’s a birthday dinner, not the Zootennial Gala. The only one you have to impress is little old me.”
Her ears sagged in relief. He was right, and she knew it. She was spending way too much time and effort on what was supposed to be something fun. But those nagging thoughts about Nick she’d been having lately kept sneaking into her mind, and her confidence shattered once again…
“I know, I just…I want to look good.” For you, she wanted to add, but couldn’t quite get the words out. Judy tried to convince herself that it was just a point of pride; she may not have been a runway model but she still liked to feel nice every now and then. But then she remembered that she’d never cared about that kind of stuff before; the few Bunnyburrow proms she went to were blasé at best and downright mind-numbing at worst. So why did she care about showing off now?
Then she’d picture scruffy orange fur, piercing green eyes, a loose necktie and a sardonic grin…and it all made sense. Judy sighed and ran a hand over the back of her ears, refusing to grapple with the reality that she only wanted to show off for him and him alone. She wasn’t even sure if he found rabbits attractive; he’d never really brought up what his “type” would be and she was sure he was much more drawn to vixens than to someone like her.
She’d even spotted a few ladies of various species checking him out while they were on the beat. She couldn’t blame them—Nick really did make the dress blues look frustratingly good. But Judy would be lying to herself if she said she didn’t feel a pang of jealousy burning her up every time someone looked just a little too long at him.
She’d had the first inkling of seeing Nick like that when they busted Bellwether. They’d overcome their dislike of each other and even become friends, and surviving a near-death experience multiple times with someone certainly bonds you together. Then, Pawbert almost took him away from her…
She shivered to even recall that fateful day. It had been six weeks since then, but even the slightest mention of it could send a tidal wave of memories rushing back to her. She swore she could still feel the cold of Tundra Town when she thought about it. Things had gotten much better since then—Nibbles and Gary were doing great, the ZPD had put away most of the escaped criminals, and she and Nick were still kicking tail and taking names. But her life was fundamentally different now, and her relationship with Nick was too.
“Because no one else in the world matters more to me than you do.” How on earth was she supposed to be normal about that? When the person who’s been through the best and worst with you, who’s proven time and time again that they’re willing to put their life on the line for you—not to mention the one you have a big, fat crush on—says that to you, how are you supposed to keep functioning? She still hadn’t figured out the answer.
“You’d look good in anything, Carrots,” Nick said over the phone, shaking Judy out of her reverie and turning her cheeks a bright shade of scarlet. “Just pick one you like. I’ll see you at eight.” He hung up the call with a quiet beep.
Judy was frozen completely still, replaying his words over and over. Did he really mean that? Did he really find her attractive, or was it just the retired hustler in him making another appearance? She hadn’t forgotten how easily he’d charmed the female bear at the Zootennial Gala with just a few words and a flash of the pearly whites. She couldn’t help but blush at the compliment, and it gave her just enough fuel to make a final decision.
She grabbed the dress that she knew she wanted to wear all along, held it up in the mirror, and steeled herself for the night ahead.
The second that Nick hung up the phone, he grabbed a spatula from the kitchen and proceeded to smack himself in the face with it.
“Are you out of your mind? ‘You’d look good in anything?’ God, you might as well have just dropped to a knee and shown her a ring!” Nick chastised himself, still in disbelief that he could be so careless as to let the mask slip in front of her. Did he mean what he said? Absolutely, emphatically, without a doubt in his mind. But did he mean to say it that casually? Not even remotely.
Nick had always thought he was a solitary animal. He supposed part of it was a general fox thing, part of it was his parental abandonment issues, and part of it was just him. But over the past year or so, he’d very quickly come to realize that Nick Wilde is an incredibly, incredibly co-dependent animal. But not for just anyone—just Judy.
The reality that he’d been grappling with for the past several weeks was that he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if she wasn’t around. Judy always saw the bigger picture, always wanted to help someone else out even if it cost her life and limb—and it terrified him. They dealt with that issue a bit during the Lynxley case, but he couldn’t stop spinning around the idea of losing her like a demented carnival ride.
He’d poured out everything he had to her in that moment, giving her a long-awaited helping of the truth. It was like a court case—do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? Nick thought he had, but then it quickly hit him that he only covered two of the three. He had told the truth and nothing but the truth, but not the whole truth. Because it terrified him.
If Judy had heard the whole truth that day, she would’ve heard three things. One, that Nick was truly, madly, deeply in love with her. Two, there wasn’t a damn thing she could do to change that. Three, that if she didn’t feel the same way, he’d fall into an abyss that he wasn’t sure anyone could ever pull him out of. So, thanks to Nick’s deeply battle-hardened instinct to protect himself, he didn’t tell her the whole truth.
He got as close as he could, but didn’t dare cross that line. Partners, she was more than happy with. They knew they were the best duo the ZPD had and those were the facts, whether Bogo liked them or not. Best friends, now that was a different story, but still one she was on-board with. They’d been spending more and more time hanging out after work, and getting tired of each other’s company wasn’t even something they could fathom. They fit, like two pieces of a puzzle.
But being in love—that’s uncharted territory for the both of them. That’s a threshold that you don’t cross lightly, and Nick wouldn’t dare approach Judy the lover it if it meant risking Judy the partner and Judy the best friend. So he kept his mouth shut and went about business as usual.
Was it easy? No. No it was not. He’d lost count of how many times they’d been driving in the cruiser and he’d fought the urge to put his hand over hers on the gear shift. When she made a joke, or punched his arm in that flirty rabbity way of hers, he had to bite his tongue to keep from smiling so wide it would put a great white shark to shame. And the worst bit of the operation of by far was how badly he wanted to kiss her.
It would be something simple, innocuous. She’d hand him a coffee at the start of their shift. He’d reach for it, and their fingers would brush gently, just for a split-second, and he’d have to wrestle every muscle in his body to keep from pouncing on her and mashing his lips to hers. It made him feel like a savage, a mindless beast propelled only by instinct and desire. She deserved better than that.
Nick ran to the sink and splashed cold water on his face, trying to return to something close to calm. He dabbed his face with a kitchen towel, then walked to his bedroom and approached the monster that had been taunting him for the past several hours.
A black suit sat on his bed, along with his least-tacky tie. This suit had been with him for years but rarely saw the light of day, only reserved for his most elaborate of hustles. But he and Judy were going to a restaurant marginally nicer than takeout tonight, and the last thing he wanted was to show up looking like the same scruffy fox she’d caught selling Pawpsicles all those months ago.
He tried not to think too much about the situation at hand and found himself failing hard. It was Judy’s birthday, and she said all she wanted was for a nice quiet dinner with just the two of them. He had to take a quick trip to the precinct storage closet to catch his breath after she told him that. That was all she wanted? A meal with him? It didn’t make any sense.
Regardless, it was happening and he was running out of time. He quickly changed out of his everyday clothes and started putting on the suit. He fiddled with the tie, uncomfortable with having to actually keep it tight around his neck rather than the loose accessory he usually went about his days with. He then pulled on his jacket sleeves, extending them and making sure they hung nicely around his wrists.
Nick took a look at himself in the mirror and paused, feeling much the same as he did trying on the tuxedo at the Zootennial Gala. It was rare that Nick actually thought about how he looked; years on the streets had taught him that it was best if people didn’t see him at all. But now he had to try to make an impression. Maybe if he really cleaned up, showed her that he had put thought into it for her, she could see the side of him he wished she always saw…
Knock. Nick stiffened. How did she get here so fast? He supposed it made sense, seeing as how Judy always moved like the fate of the world was on the line (because sometimes it was). But he still hadn’t prepared for her to be here already, he still needed time!
“Be there in a second, Carrots!” he exclaimed, racing to the bathroom. He hurriedly splashed on cologne, not overbearing but just enough to give him a little zip, checked his breath, and smoothed out his fur. One last look in the mirror gave him pause. It wasn’t perfect, but he looked good. Or at least, he hoped she would think so.
Nick took a deep breath and channeled the ol’ Wilde charm, eyes relaxing and shoulders slumping. He sauntered up to the door, kicking away an empty pizza box as he went. “You know, it’s usually considered common courtesy to—“ his breath caught in his throat as he opened the door.
Judy stood there, wearing an elegant blue evening gown that made her look like an angel from Nick’s dreams. The neckline sloped just below her shoulders and clung to her figure in all the right ways, highlighting her in a manner he’d never thought possible. His eyes slowly traced her from top to bottom, and he noticed the slit that exposed one of her legs to open air. Nick’s jaw actually dropped as he took her in, something he thought was only possible in cartoons or poorly-written soap operas.
The gentle light above his doorway bathed her in a soft golden glow, perfectly complimenting the rich navy fabric of her dress. Something on her sparkled, and he realized that she was also wearing a thin silver bracelet around her wrist. She practically never wore jewelry, at least not around him, but it was a welcome addition to a look that already had him speechless.
Nick had always believed there were three qualities to a woman’s looks, and Judy had them all in spades. She was always cute, no ifs, ands, or buts about it. But nearly everyone in Zootopia could find a rabbit cute, in the same way you find a baby cute or someone’s laugh cute. Nick had long thought she was pretty, and at the Zootennial Gala he wondered for the first time if it was too much to call her beautiful. Tonight, though, was a new side of her, completing the trifecta: she was downright sexy.
Judy shrank a little at his gaze, bashfully rubbing one of her arms. “It’s too much, isn’t it?”
Nick swallowed. It took him a second to realize that she’d asked him a question; he was still trying to put his tongue back into his mouth. “Uh, no. Not at all. You look…wow. Carrots—Judy—you look amazing,” he breathed.
Judy blushed, a small smile creeping onto her face. She’d never seen him stunned quite like this, and it made her feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. She quickly made a mental note to find more excuses to dress up nicely so she could elicit that reaction from him again. Maybe they could start taking ballroom dancing lessons together…
“Are you ready to go?” she asked gently. Nick snapped back to attention, pulling gently at his collar.
“Well, I wanted to give you something before we left…” he mentioned, motioning for Judy to follow him into his apartment. She tilted her head, unprepared for him to have a gift for her. Nick rushed into his room, leaving Judy to ponder it in the living room. After some scuffling from behind the door, he emerged with a small box in his hands.
“I know you said you didn’t want any gifts, but…I dunno, I felt like I had to get you something. It’s your birthday. Only comes around once a year, y’know,” he joked awkwardly, finding his punchlines getting weaker the more and more he fell for her.
“Nick, that is so sweet of you, but you really didn’t have to!” she said, smiling and placing a hand on his.
“I know I didn’t have to. But I wanted to,” he responded. He extended the box to her and she took it, briefly glancing at him with those big purple eyes that made him feel like a little kid with a crush. She gently opened the box’s flaps and dug through the tissue paper. When she hit paydirt, she gasped.
Judy pulled out a silver bangle with two charms dangling from it; one of a carrot and one of a fox paw print. It matched the bracelet she already wore perfectly, sliding just under it on her wrist. The little pieces danced in her grasp, not even rich enough to twinkle in the light but enough to floor her completely.
“It’s not much. Cop salary, and all that. But they’re symbolic, and we all know much you like your emotionally symbolic—“
Nick didn’t get a chance to finish his sentence as Judy quickly planted a kiss on him. It was fleeting, a gentle graze of her lips across his; over as soon as it began. By the time Nick had even registered what happened, Judy was already beet-red and speaking a million miles a minute.
“SorryIwasaimingforyourcheekandmissedandwasjusttryingtosaythankyouNickandlet’sjustgotodinnernowplease,” she blurted, looking at a particularly interesting corner of Nick’s carpet. She was practically vibrating in place with nervousness, every single molecule of her body wanting to escape and go somewhere else.
Nick’s physical reaction was slower but just as electric, a flood of warm static washing through his body as he thought about the fact that Judy had just kissed him. His lips were tingling, white-hot from where she’d made contact with them and sending pulses of energy spiraling out to every part of him. After a moment of stunned silence, Nick gathered himself as best he could and opened the front door for Judy.
“After you.”
The rabbit and the fox stepped out of their cab, looking up at the gleaming marble structure in front of them. Nick had made a reservation for the two of them at Ironclaw Grill, one of the fanciest restaurants that they could get into on their admittedly less-than-ideal salary. Still, it was far nicer than anything Judy had in Bunnyburrow, and Nick had only been able to charm his way into a place like this once before.
Judy gulped quietly as they climbed the stairs up to the front door, wondering if she was even remotely cut out for this. She’d adjusted pretty well to life in Zootopia, but there were still times where she felt like that same out-of-place country bunny who first met Nick. As if he were reading her mind, Nick took her paw in his and offered a gentle, reassuring squeeze.
They pushed through the front doors and approached the hostess, a middle-aged wolf with a weary smile. “Good evening. Do the two of you have a reservation with us?”
“Yes, should be under Wilde,” Nick responded. The hostess clacked away at a keyboard, glanced at a list on the screen, and then back to the two of them.
“Eight o’clock. Right on time. Please, allow me to lead you to your table,” she said, clasping her hands together.
“Nick, this is…” Judy began.
“Treat yourself, Carrots. I’d say we’ve earned this,” he whispered back, following the wolf to their table.
They sat down in plush leather, facing off from each other in a booth perfectly positioned towards the back of the restaurant to afford them a little more privacy. Nick grabbed a drink menu, but subtly held off on looking at it until Judy decided to look at her own copy. She scanned it with the same facial expression usually reserved for analyzing case files, a determined squint with an occasionally twitchy nose.
“I’d like a glass of the Chateau Lapin, please,” she said. The hostess politely nodded, too experienced at her job to even need to write it down. Nick raised an eyebrow and grinned at the bunny.
“I may have to be more careful about what I meant by ‘treat yourself,’ Carrots. Don’t forget this meal is on my dime,” he smirked.
“Oh, please, as if I’d let you pay for me. Besides, it’s not every day we’re eating in a place like this. A girl can order a drink if she wants,” Judy said defiantly, arms crossing with her own grin as the banter they both so desperately looked forward to began.
“Touché. I’ll have what she’s having,” he said to the hostess, who nodded again and strolled off to the kitchen. As they were left alone in their little slice of privacy amidst the controlled chaos of the restaurant, Nick turned back to Judy and folded his hands on top of the table.
“So. Just us,” he said.
“Just us,” she countered.
Nick inhaled deeply through his nose. “What a ride it’s been, huh? Almost dying, paperwork, almost dying again, more paperwork, uncovering a hidden reptile community, the occasional movie night…”
“You make it sound so simple,” she said, smiling softly as she toyed with the new charms on her bracelet. The smile dissipated slowly as her next thought entered her head. “Do you…do you wish it was different?”
Nick’s ears folded back. “What do you mean?”
“We’ve been through so much together. I mean, we’ve barely known each other a year, but it feels like I’ve known you my whole life. But…I can’t help but feel like I’ve dragged you into a life that isn’t for you. You were doing fine without me, and maybe I just…screwed it all up,” she said, a pained cough escaping her throat. She choked back tears and rubbed the back of her hand at the corner of her eyes.
Nick reached across the table and grabbed one of her hands, encapsulating it in both of his. Despite how terrified he was of this bunny, of how she could wreck his whole life with just a word, of how no one or nothing on the planet meant more to her than she did, he found himself with a clarity he had never felt before.
“Judy.” Her name was a command, a call to reason, a magnetic force pulling her back down to earth. She felt herself calming instantly at the low rumble of his voice. “You didn’t drag me into anything. I chose this. I chose you.”
“Nothing about me was ‘fine’ before you. I put on a good face. I wanted everyone to think I was fine. But Judy, you’re a police officer hoping for a promotion to detective. You of all people should be able to figure out that I was miserable.”
“And like I said after you and Gary saved me, I didn’t join the ZPD because I wanted to make the world a better place. I joined because of you. I wanted to be near you, even if that meant throwing away everything I knew and joining the force. So don’t ever, even for one second, think that you dragged me into this. I made that call. And as long as you’re still here, I stand by it,” he said, those last few words becoming a little higher-pitched and breathless.
Judy’s eyes were huge, her mouth slightly parted in a little o shape. A chill ran down her spine at his declaration, as if her body were physically moved by what he’d said. She looked down at her hand, still surrounded by both of his. He noticed her looking and shamefully pulled his hands away, fingers burning hot from the touch.
But Judy lunged forward and snatched one back, holding his hand and lightly stroking the fur with her thumb. She wasn’t quite ready to let go yet, and needed to be connected to him while she continued the conversation.
“Nick. That is the most…meaningful thing anyone has ever said to me. I want you to know that I am always here for you. I don’t know what I would do without you. You are my rock, and this job, this city, none of it is the same without you.”
Moisture in the eyes was hitting a critical level for both of them. Nick had never cried in front of her, and really didn’t want the first time to be in a crowded restaurant. Judy had already cried in front of Nick several times before, but wanted to prove to the two of them that she could keep it together and wasn’t always such an emotional bunny.
Both of them blinked back the tears, gazing into each other’s watery, shimmering eyes. She squeezed his hand, wanting nothing more than to jump across the table and lay in his arms for a while. Nick didn’t think there was a more beautiful creature on God’s green earth than the girl across from him, and he knew he’d crossed a point of no return of loving her. He prayed that she would wake up and—
“Ahem.” The hostess quietly cleared her throat, and Nick and Judy snapped back into their seats like they’d been splashed with a bucket of ice-cold water. She meagerly placed their wine glasses down in front of them. “Are you two ready to order, or…”
“Yes! Uh, yes. We are ready. Isn’t that right, Nick?” Judy stammered. He nodded quietly. Still frazzled from the intense moment they’d just been snapped out of, they quickly placed their meal orders and sat in awkward quiet until the hostess left.
If she wasn’t doing her job so well, Judy would’ve dragged the wolf to the bathroom and given her a piece of her mind for interrupting such a solemn time between them. It wasn’t easy for Nick to open up to her, and she felt like they’d just been robbed of a perfect opportunity to finally clear up exactly what they were to each other.
Unfortunately, Judy wasn’t about to make a scene in the swankiest restaurant she’d been to in her whole life, so she stayed quiet.
“So how about the weather lately?” Nick quipped, trying to recover the situation with humor. She rolled her eyes at his lame fallback, but smiled. The moment had passed, and it would surely be intrusive of her to keep picking apart her fox and figuring out what was going on inside that heart of his.
“Small talk about the weather? I knew you were old, but I didn’t know you were that old,” she joked.
“Really? Age jokes? On your birthday? You’re playing with fire, Carrots.”
“Always.” She grinned. That smile, that damn smile, the one that melted him like a fox-sicle left in the sun too long. He’d give up every possession he owned just to keep that smile around him. Nick didn’t allow his exterior to show it, but he sank a little as he acknowledged it was too late now to keep telling her how much she meant to him.
He wanted, more than anything he’d ever thought possible, to tell her how he really felt about her. And that conversation, barely a minute ago, seemed like the golden opportunity. Then that stupid hostess had to go and ruin it all. I’m cursed, he thought, convincing himself that the cosmic law of the universe was warning him it was a bad idea. So he kept his heart shut, and they talked about the weather. And they were physically present in the restaurant, but both of their minds were miles away, trying to find the perfect combination of words and actions to show how much they loved their partner without jeopardizing everything they already had. In other words, it was like every other meal they’d shared together for weeks.
After the meal (which Nick had finally strong-armed Judy into letting him pay for), they caught another cab and slid into the backseat. Judy’s ears drooped as she laid back against the polyester seat, not wanting the night to end. They’d had a wonderful conversation, going back and forth like they always did in their little game of cat and mouse. Or fox and rabbit, she thought.
But she was caught off-guard when the cabbie asked where they were going, and Nick’s response was to Zootopia Central Station . She looked at him quizzically, but he simply put a finger to her lips and smiled.
“Got one last little birthday surprise for ya, Fluff.”
“Nick, all the trains stopped running an hour ago.”
“Yes. For everybody else, that is.” He winked and her stomach filled with butterflies, mind racing as she tried to figure out what exactly he had in mind.
As they arrived at the train station, Nick held her hand and led her along to the ticket barriers, which were blocked. The digital interface where animals could scan their tickets read “CLOSED FOR THE EVENING. PLEASE RETURN LATER.” Judy put her hands on her hips and shot Nick a look that said this had better be legal.
Nick reached into his wallet and pulled out a laminated train pass, but not like one Judy had ever seen. It was free of any design, and it read ‘Official ZCS Personnel Pass.’ A little fox paw had been scribbled on it with a magic marker of some kind. Nick swiped it and the barrier immediately unlocked with a happy chirping noise.
“Nick, how did—“
“I may not be a hustler anymore, but I still know people. Come on,” he said, tugging her through the barrier. All the overhead lights in the station were off. Nick’s nocturnal eyes gave him a better view of their surroundings, but Judy was forced to trust his guidance and the occasional fluorescent light as he led her forward.
After a few minutes of cautiously creeping through the dark, they arrived at a bullet train sitting quietly at its station.
“Nick, seriously, tell me what the plan is here or I’m gonna start punching.”
“Okay, okay,” he said, instinctively protecting his ribs. “I know how much this city means to you. Every time we went somewhere in Zootopia, you’d get this…this look in your eyes like you’ve never seen anything so amazing before. But working on the force…it wears you down.”
“You never rest. You never let yourself just be a part of the city instead of its protector. So I wanted to give you that feeling again. I want you to see it with fresh eyes, and remember what it is you’re fighting so hard for,” he said, tail anxiously swishing behind him.
“Come on. Let me show you,” he said, taking her hand once again. He tapped his fist on the train door, and the vehicle sprang to life with lights and the sounds of heavy machinery. The doors opened and he guided her up the stairs into the first car of the train. They walked through the car, then up the internal stairs to the viewing area Judy had found herself in when she first took the train into the city.
Suddenly she was back there, a starry-eyed recruit with no idea of what she was getting herself into. She was naive, blindly trusting of Zootopia’s ideals yet still falling prey to her own biases. Judy shuddered to remember how those first few days had hit her, beating her down again and again and again. She’d never felt so alone in her life. Then she felt a paw on her shoulder.
Nick. She wasn’t alone anymore. With a dramatic snap of his fingers, the train lurched forward, slowly at first but gradually picking up speed until they were pulling out of the station and into the night. He stood beside her, taking in the sights of the city and watching the nightlife below them.
“Nick, how did you…I’m so…thank you.” she breathed. It was gorgeous. They zoomed past skyscrapers, dazzlingly tall and projecting warm yellow light onto the passersby below. She spotted their usual beat, and all the little buildings that gave the city its personality. It was like she was a giant, suddenly seeing how small the little slice of life that she had grown accustomed to was.
“I know a guy who works for the city. He owed me a favor, and that’s all you get to know,” Nick said with a sly smile. He casually wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close. She didn’t hesitate to nuzzle into his side, feeling the soft fabric of his suit jacket against her skin.
They zoomed through Savannah Central, passing into Tundra Town. The frozen district was covered in a gentle snowfall, looking exactly like a scene out of a Christmas movie. She saw the weather wall in the distance, remembering the spot where she thought she’d lost Nick forever. How she didn’t feel any pain or exhaustion as she ran to him, propelled only by instinct to save his life, no matter what it took.
She remembered the fear in his eyes as they both landed on the snow, scrambling to wrap their bodies around each other and protect their partner from any external threat. How hard it was for him to get the words out, but how badly he needed to tell her what she meant to him. How painful it was for her to keep herself from telling him how much she loved him, because she would do anything to keep him and didn’t want to scare him away if he didn’t feel the same.
Nick was picturing the moment he thought he was going to die. As he fell, all of the worry and concern washed away, filling him with a cold peace. In his final moments, all he could think about was Judy. And it gave him calm to know that he had done everything he could to save her; his final action a desperate tribute to everything she’d done for him.
He survived that day, but Nick wasn’t truly sure if he’d lived after it. Every waking moment of his life from that point onward was filled with Judy, to the point where he wasn’t sure where he ended and she began. He knew he belonged to her until the day he died for real. If that meant that he had to hide his true feelings and pretend to be okay with just being her friend, then that was enough for him.
Then they looped through Sahara Square, the moon casting a gentle silver glow across the dunes of the desert. Nick wondered what his life would look like ten, twenty years from now. Would Judy find a rabbit to settle with? They could start a family together without any of the pesky downsides of being hitched to a fox.
It would crush him, sure, but he could handle it. Rejection and heartbreak were Nick’s bread and butter. He could be the fun uncle that shows up for holidays and school recitals. Her kids would wonder why their uncle was a fox, but he’d get to tell them all about the adventures he and their mom had been on. They’d probably wonder why he wasn’t married to a fox, or married at all.
Nick knew it was Judy or nothing for him. No alternative. When foxes fall for a mate, it’s a done deal; no second chances. He’d focus on himself and his career. Maybe he’d make detective, or even police commissioner. It wasn’t something he’d ever really given thought to before—but as he tried to make the fuzzy outline of his future a little clearer, all he could see was that bunny.
Judy tried to imagine a day without Nick. What did she even like to do in her free time? She’d focused so much on her studies and career that she had very little interest in hobbies. Maybe she could join a book club, or a recreational soccer league. She didn’t have many friends to talk to outside of him. None at all, if she wasn’t kidding herself.
What made her happy? As she wrestled with the question, Nick’s name kept echoing around her mind. The brightest part of every day was seeing him, no doubt about it. He’d tell a dumb joke, or make a joke about her tail, or get her a coffee without even being asked to because he’d practically memorized her habits, and it would fill her with sunshine and warmth even on the coldest winter day.
She didn’t know what to do without him. So much of who she was revolved around him now, but she knew commitment was hard for Nick. The last thing Judy wanted was to put unnecessary pressure on him and crack the fragile interior he fought so hard to protect. He’d spent so long running after her that she feared one more failure of hers would break him. Fear, anxiety, self-doubt, all of it ran rampant when she pictured herself ruining their friendship because of her stupid heart.
The train finally ushered them into the Rainforest District. The gentle patter of raindrops began on the glass above them, noticeably lighter than the usual downpour. Nick snuck a glance at Judy. To his dismay, he didn’t see the awestruck joy on her face he’d been hoping for, but rather a forlorn stare into the canopy of trees before them.
Nick opened his mouth to speak, but decided against it. The train rushed them through the dark, twisting tracks, gently gliding to a stop at the station built upon an enormous hollowed-out oak tree. They exited the train car, which spat them out right at the last place Nick wanted to now find himself at: the Sky Tram where he’d first opened up to her.
“Nick…what are we doing here?”
“At first, I thought it might be a good idea to bring you back to the first place where we stopped being enemies and really became partners. But…seems like I swung and missed on that one,” he admitted, looking at the deep concern on her face. Judy wilted, realizing she had unintentionally hurt him.
“No, you didn’t. I’m sorry. I was just…thinking about some things,” she said, smoothing out her dress. “Let’s go. Please.”
She marched forward to the tram, Nick confusedly following behind her. He jogged to catch up, then took off his jacket and held it above her head as a makeshift umbrella. She appreciated the gesture, but it hurt her even more to know how protective he was of her. He was her biggest defender, but she would always have to keep him at arms-length to keep from hurting him.
They stepped into the tram, lurching off the ground as it carried them into the dark air. Judy leaned over the edge with a concerned Nick watching nearby, a reflection of the first time they were here.
“Carrots, is something wrong?” he asked, broaching the conversation gently. She sniffled, cursing her stupid transparent emotions for always giving away her true feelings.
“No. Yes. I mean, there is, but it’s not your fault.”
“What’s going on? You know you can tell me anything.”
She looked away, watching the steady fall of raindrops surrounding them like a blanket. Could she really tell him anything? It wasn’t that Nick wouldn’t listen; he always heard what she had to say, even if he had to sneak in a sarcastic comment or two to survive. But Judy didn’t know if she was capable of saying it.
“I can’t tell you, Nick.”
He sidled up to her cautiously, placing a gentle hand on hers, much like she did when he poured his heart out to her about the Junior Ranger Scouts. “Why not?”
“Because I’m scared.” She didn’t lean into his touch or move away, only accepting the contact and willing her body not to engage with it.
“Of what?”
“Of hurting you.” Her voice caught in her throat as she said it. An ice-cold dagger shot into Nick’s heart as he prepared himself for what was inevitably coming next. He’d done it, he’d done the one thing he wasn’t supposed to do. He’d opened his heart up to her, gotten too close, and now that she’d seen who she really was she got scared of him.
Nick supposed it was only natural. What did that old George Bearrison song say? “All things must pass?” He knew his dynamic with Judy was too good to be true. Why did a guy like him ever deserve to be partners with her? It was dumb right from the start, and a real hustler would’ve seen it coming a mile away.
He embraced the incoming heartbreak, just another stepping stone in Nick Wilde’s long journey to loneliness. He could handle it. He just needed to know it for sure, or else the anticipation would kill him.
“Just say it, Judy.”
She cringed at the harshness of his voice, how quickly he’d shifted back into the broken street hustler at first sign of danger. Surely he knew she was about to be the dumb bunny he’d always thought she was, the one who let her emotions and base instincts rule her without any room for reason. She was setting herself up to get knocked down. He doesn’t want you. He’s seen this coming and braced himself for it, her inner thoughts whispered to her.
Her fingers gripped the railing of the tram tightly, trying to find solid ground but coming away with nothing but slick fingers, soaked from the rain.
“Nick. A few days ago, you asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I said I just wanted to have a nice meal with you. But now, I know that wasn’t entirely true.”
“Ah. Buyer’s remorse, huh? I don’t blame you,” he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets. Judy’s eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
“What I really wanted—wait, what are you talking about?” she asked.
“Isn’t it obvious, Judy?” he barked. “I came off too strong. I heard what you told me on the weather wall, and my stupid, greedy brain multiplied it by a hundred. I wasn’t ever happy with what I had, so I wanted more and more from it…from you.”
“I thought…I thought you loved me.” He practically spat the word, as though he was disgusted by the thought of it. Judy’s ears pinned straight back, and her heart leapt into her throat. “Figures, huh? The hustler finally gets hustled. You got me, Carrots. Got me good.” He hung his head, finding that it suddenly weighed ten tons on his neck.
Judy’s breaths came in short, shaky gasps. She couldn’t believe it. He thinks I DON’T love him? That’s what he thinks this is? Her body was trembling, swept up in the emotional rollercoaster of her expectations and his reality. Judy didn’t know what to feel: relief, distress, nausea, curiosity, shame, all of the above.
Finally, one emotion came to the front of the pack and took control. Rage.
She grabbed Nick by his jacket and spun him toward her with such force that he felt his neck crack with whiplash. Before he could even process the motion, she reached up and snagged his tie in one hand and yanked him down to her height, her mouth mere centimeters away from his.
“Nicholas Wilde. You stupid, stupid fox. That’s what you thought I was going to tell you? That I was sick of you? That I’m not in love with you, and have been for weeks, and haven’t been able to figure out how to tell you because the thought of pushing you away like I always do literally keeps me up at night?”
He gulped, which was rather difficult to do given the vice-grip she currently had his tie in. “Um…yes?”
“You…absolute…moron,” she hissed. “If you had let me finish, what I was going to say is that wanting dinner with you for my birthday wasn’t the whole truth. I want you. All of you. I want your scars, I want your flaws, I want your weaknesses, every last little bit. Because every single day that I wake up, I have to ask myself: what would I do without you?”
“Judy, I—“
“No. Let me finish,” she said, clamping down on his muzzle with one hand. “I love you so much, it makes me sick. My days only matter as long as you’re in them. When we go home after work, I sit there and count the minutes until we can see each other again. Do you know why? I do. Because you’re my fluffle, Nick. I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again and again until it gets through your thick head that I love you. Do I make myself clear?”
Nick, eyes bulging and cheeks turning red, nodded frantically. Judy hastily released his muzzle when she realized he couldn’t breathe, and immediately moved her hands to her sides. All of the righteous fury that she had just poured out left her, and she was stuck shivering in the cold embrace of shame.
The fox couldn’t quite wrap his head around what had just happened. At some point, or maybe at several points, she’d said she loved him? It didn’t make sense, given that he just thought she was about to tell him that she wanted space from him. Judy couldn’t be in love with him, it just didn’t make sense. She was so good, so pure of heart, so deserving of someone who could protect her and not just constantly follow in her trail. It couldn’t be right. Could it?
“I’m, um, sorry about choking you. And I’m sorry if everything I just said ruined the night. We can just chalk it up to that glass of wine and pretend it never happened,” she said quietly.
“NO! Um, I mean, no,” he corrected. Now it was Nick’s turn to spill. He was still reeling physically and emotionally, and the inertia of the tram car caused him to stumble against the wall. He put his back to it and slid down slowly, sitting on the floor of the car to stabilize himself. Judy cautiously sat down opposite from him.
“I…I don’t know what to say. I just never thought…you…could feel that way about…about me,” he stuttered. Judy raised an eyebrow and shot him a look as if to say, really? “I…let me try to make it make sense.”
“I’ve loved you, Judy, for a long time now. But we had such a good thing going as partners and as friends, and you always seemed like you knew what you were doing. I was terrified, figuring everything out one day at a time. You were the go-getter. You were the determined one. And I just thought that if you wanted me…you would’ve gone for it, because you never let anything get in your way.”
“Nick, I was just as scared as you were. I didn’t want to ruin what we already had,” she responded.
“I know that now. But trust me, if you were scared, I was a walking panic attack. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing you, or making you uncomfortable around me, because you know how much you mean to me. You’re not just my pack. You’re my world. And I’d burn down everything in it just to be with you.”
Her amethyst eyes shimmered with tears. “I love you, Judy Hopps,” he said. “Today, tomorrow, and the day after that. And there’s nothing you can say or do to change that.” His head fell once more, glancing down at his now-muddied suit pants on the floor of the tram car. He looked back up and saw her watching him with a look that shattered him: pure, unbridled adoration.
No one had ever looked at him like that since…well, ever. Judy didn’t see the broken, hurting fox that he always thought he was. She saw her hero, the one person on which she could depend no matter the circumstances. He saw the one person who’d ever cared about him and stuck around.
This was it. No backing down, no dancing around the tension, no regrets. Just the fox and the rabbit. Nick and Judy. Judy and Nick.
And in the split-second that their eyes locked, and they finally saw what the other saw in them, they scrambled towards each other like wild animals on the hunt. Judy tossed herself into his arms and began planting kisses on him like it was the last chance she’d ever have to. Nick clung to her like a lifeline, trying to reciprocate her love as fast as she gave it.
After her first wave of fiery passion, Judy slowed down and allowed their lips to meet, melting into his mouth as their months of yearning for each other came to a head. Kissing her was ecstasy for Nick, everything he’d imagined it to be and more. The difference in the shapes of their heads and lengths of their tongues added complications, but they were more than willing to overcome them and do some ‘problem-solving.’
Moments passed in each other’s embrace, an amount of time neither of them could say for certain, but undoubtedly the most important moment in their lives up to that point. They pulled back reluctantly, Judy cupping a hand to Nick’s face and stroking the fur on his cheek. He grazed the back of one of her ears with his claws, sending a pleasant chill down her spine.
“We should have done that a long time ago,” Nick whispered.
“Yes. Yes, we should’ve,” she returned. She glanced at the Rainforest District around them, realizing that their tram had hit the loop sometime during their confessions and they were now approaching the same station they’d entered from. “What time is it?”
Nick was puzzled, but decided to satisfy her curiosity and glanced at his watch. “Uh, it’s eleven forty-eight.”
“Good. It’s still my birthday,” she said, a devious smile creeping across her lips.
“Why does that matter?” he asked.
“Because I’m still in charge. Law of the birthday girl.”
“Oh?” Now it was Nick’s turn to smile, realizing where this might be going. “And what exactly do you want?”
Judy grabbed his hand and led him off the tram car as it came to a halt at the station. “Just trust me.”
They didn’t enter Nick’s apartment so much as they tumbled through it, in a tangle of limbs and lips and incoherent sentences. Judy had already undone his tie and looped it around his neck as a makeshift lasso, tugging it to pull his mouth onto hers. She was fully wrapped around him, just off the ground. Nick cupped her gently with his paws, but his legs wasted no time in marching the two of them towards his room.
He collapsed onto the bed, twisting himself at the last second to land on his back with her straddling his chest. She kissed him with all the strength she could muster, forcing herself to occasionally come up for air and then plunging right back in. Nick found himself a little dizzy, but it would take nothing shy of a nuclear armageddon to stop him from being one-hundred-and-ten-percent invested in this moment.
Judy slid herself slightly down his body, not removing her tongue from his mouth as she began unbuttoning his shirt. She began to run her hands through the cream-colored fur of his chest, giving Nick little jolts of lightning as her small paws roamed freely. Eventually, Judy stopped, eliciting a groan of anguish from Nick.
Wordlessly, she turned her back to him and gestured to the zipper on the back of her dress. Nick swallowed, suddenly finding his throat as dry and coarse as sandpaper.
“Judy…are you sure?”
She turned her head, seeing a very concerned fox in her peripheral vision. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”
And with those final words of encouragement and a slight nod from her, Nick soon found himself with more Judy than he could have ever hoped for.
Nick and Judy lay in his bed, his nose resting between her ears as they often did when they still pretended to be platonic. Her back was nestled up against him, fingers intertwining as they cuddled together. He inhaled, pulling the intoxicating smell of her as deep into his nostrils as he could. It was beautiful, a mixture of Judy’s natural scent with the lavender perfume she reserved for special occasions, along with a noticeable dose of Nick’s own musk.
He sighed, as happy as any man could ever hope to be. She felt the gentle beating of his heart against her back and gave another reassuring squeeze to his hand. She’d never felt more safe or seen in her entire life, content to lie there forever and become one with his embrace. It was paradise.
“I’m glad we did this,” she said.
“Me too,” he responded. He used his off hand to gently pinch one of her ears between his thumb and forefinger, running it down the length of the velvety skin. She cooed with pleasure and nestled even deeper into his torso. “Happy birthday, Carrots,” he said, his voice as low and dark as the rest of the room around them.
“Same time next year?” she asked.
“Same time next year,” he answered, and quickly flipped his positioning to hover above her, mouth just barely fractions of inches away from hers. He whispered something quippy to her, something in that trademark lilt of his that she found adorable but forgot immediately. She wasn’t sure if her response was even verbal. She pressed her lips to his, and knew that her words were no longer necessary.