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When Higgs showed up on Sam's doorstep, Sam didn't know whether to shut the door in his face or shoot him in the face. It didn't help that it was the dead of night and Higgs was coated head to toe in tar, looking like something from Sam's nightmares come to life. Hearing Higgs tell it, he'd washed ashore on the edge of a tar lake nearby and could only give Sam an approximation of what he thought happened. The whole thing involved being thrown up by Sam's daughter, and that was when Sam tapped out and pointed his gun at Higgs.
Holding up his hands, Higgs, in the most solemn voice Sam had ever heard from him, said, "Please, Sam. I don't know where else to go."
Against his better judgment, Sam grudgingly let Higgs inside. What more was there for the man take from him anyways?
Higgs whistled low when he took in the state of Sam's place. Now that Sam only had himself to worry about again, the space was messier, not as clean as it had been when Lou was little and getting into everything within her reach. If he had company around more often, he would have cleaned up more, but as it stood, he preferred to go visit his friends and daughter rather than have them come to him.
"Your place looks almost like mine once did." Higgs glanced at Sam. "I'm assuming it doesn't belong to me anymore."
"It's still yours. I'm happy to map you to it."
"Nah, I think I'll be okay. Not a lot of good memories tied to it." Higgs smiled, but it was bitter. "When the best memories you have of a place are your enemy delivering you pizza, probably best to bury it and move along." He ran his fingers over the counter, lines appearing in the dust that coated it. He rubbed his fingers together before wiping them on his pants.
Without asking or waiting for permission from Sam, Higgs all but collapsed into a chair. Sam didn't miss the way Higgs released a breath like he'd been holding it in to keep himself standing. In the back of his mind, Sam wondered just how far Higgs had walked.
They were silent for a bit, each sizing the other up and deciding how they wanted to proceed. Sam wondered why, of all the places to go, Higgs had chosen Sam's home. How had Higgs even found Sam?
Finally, Sam said, "Why'd you come to me, Higgs?"
Higgs leaned the chair back onto two legs, rocking it back and forth as he contemplated his answer.
Seconds ticked by as Sam waited. He'd waited out timefall showers, waited out snowstorms that blinded him, and waited out so many monologues from Higgs. If Sam was anything, he was patient.
"It's like I said up there." Higgs pointed at the ceiling, then lowered his hand and his head. "I ain't got nowhere else to go."
"What? Your Demens buddies don't want you?"
"Ain't any more fuckin' Demens, Sam."
"So what? You think I'm willing to take you? After what you fucking did?" A sliver of anger pierced through Sam's even tone.
Higgs flinched and dropped the chair back to the floor, legs hitting the concrete with a resounding thud of finality. His eyes bored a hole into the table, his lips quivering as he tried to contain the mix of emotions crashing through him, like so many pieces of a shipwreck washing up on shore.
As for Sam, he had to fight against the pity that was trying to convince him to let Higgs stay. "What? Got nothing to say?"
Higgs chewed at his bottom lip for a moment and then said, "What do I do now, Sam?"
Sam was thrown. He barely had a grip on his own life after everything in Australia. In the aftermath, he hadn't known where to go or what to do, only that he couldn't stick around Drawbridge anymore. So, he'd wandered back to his old home, picked up the remains of his previous life, and got back to portering. What advice could he possibly give to Higgs?
But looking at Higgs, his hair pressed flat to his scalp with tar, the pathetic way he stared into the table, all of it broke down some of the barriers Sam had erected around himself.
With a quick glance at the clock, noting that it was almost midnight, Sam sighed. "You can stay the night. I don't know about after that."
—
One night turned into a week turned into a month, and Sam soon realized that Higgs had, in fact, moved in with him. Surprisingly, the arrangement wasn't terrible, but it took some getting used to for Sam, who was accustomed to spending most of his time alone. Now, unless he was off doing a delivery, he was surrounded by the sounds of Higgs talking from sunup to sundown; Higgs clattering around and learning a space he was unfamiliar with; Higgs digging through all of Sam's things; Higgs commenting on all of Sam's things.
"Why is your fridge only full of beer and a box of lettuce? Sam, what the fuck is this?"
"These blood bags are expired. You know that, right? They're fucking dry as shit, Sam."
"Did you just pull a shirt from that pile of dirty laundry in the corner? Jesus Christ, Sam."
Every now and then, Sam considered bringing up how Higgs's own bunker had been a disaster of empty bottles and pizza boxes; how Higgs probably thought inhaling chiral crystals would cure all ills; and how Higgs wasn't exactly a paragon of hygiene, judging by the lack of a shower in his bunker.
But something inside Sam warmed to the thought of somebody fussing over him like this. Lucy had been similar when they first started dating, and while he couldn't imagine Fragile being so forthright, she would have made sure he was taking care of himself.
And a small, quiet part of Sam would imagine what would happen if he reached out to Higgs, if he took Higgs in his arms, if he kissed Higgs. (And a smaller, deeper part of Sam imagined bending Higgs over the table. The thought had ambushed Sam; he'd grown so used to a lack of sexual interest that he thought he'd never feel it again.)
The only thing holding him back was the fact that it was Higgs, a man whose history was so wrapped up in Sam's that it was impossible to untangle it. They were like one mass of thread, and the more one end was pulled, the tighter the mass would tangle together.
In order to get Higgs to stop and hopefully lessen this snarl of feelings inside of him, Sam ordered more than just beer and the minimum amount of food to keep him alive. He started cooking again, relishing Higgs's look of surprise when he made pizza one night. He cleaned the bunker, recycling anything he no longer needed or that couldn't be used anymore. Finally, he washed his clothes and actually put them away.
The snarky comments from Higgs stopped, but they were replaced by something so much worse: Higgs helping out.
It started small with Higgs picking up his bowls and cutlery after meals, but soon snowballed into picking up after Sam—taking Sam's bowl when he was done eating, tossing Sam's socks into the hamper, helping put away the supplies Sam ordered.
It was like Higgs saw Sam's efforts and was either matching or trying to one-up Sam. And instead of loosening the thread, all it did was tighten the ball until Sam couldn't imagine a future where Higgs left.
And that thought unnerved Sam. He tried to pick out exactly the moment when everything shifted. But it all had been so gradual, a slow erosion, and now he was left with the horrifying realization that if Higgs left, Sam would devolve back into his previous habits.
So, when word reached Sam of a prepper that needed some supplies as soon as possible, Sam was not surprised to see Higgs walk out the door with him, mumbling, "This bunker is fuckin' depressing. No way am I spending a week alone in there."
The first couple of days passed without incident. They camped out under some timefall shelters the first two days and ran into a stroke of good luck when a safe house popped up on the map in the direction they were headed.
However, Sam second-guessed staying in the safe house when Higgs stripped down to his underwear the second they made it inside. Sam's eyes glanced over Higgs's chest, at the hair that traveled from his navel and disappeared under the waistband of his underwear before furtively looking away, focusing all of his attention into unpacking some clean clothes to change into.
"Gonna take first shower," Higgs said. Sam turned his back to Higgs just as Higgs hooked his fingers in his underwear.
This hadn't been an issue at Sam's bunker, which had a bathroom with a door. But now Sam was hyper aware of the groan Higgs made when the water hit his body, every time the water cascaded to the shower floor, the way Higgs whistled to himself. Sam's body was even more aware of it as his cock grew hard to the sound of Higgs saying, "My shoulders are fucking tight," and him moaning as he, from what Sam could gather, rubbed at his shoulders.
Finally, mercifully, the water turned off, the dryers ran, and Higgs said, "You don't need to be a gentleman anymore. I'm dressed."
Sam didn't say a word as he brushed past Higgs, angling his body in such a way that he hoped would conceal the tent in his pants.
He undressed in the shower, tossing his clothes out, and was grateful that Higgs had used up all of the hot water. The cold shocked some sense into him.
And even though his back was to the shower, he couldn't shake the feeling of eyes on him.
When he finished showering, he quickly snatched his clothes up, dressed, and stepped out. Sam noticed that Higgs had already taken up residence on the bed, stretching his entire frame until it took up the whole mattress, feet dangling over the end of it. Higgs rolled onto his side and patted the mattress.
"Plenty of space for us both." One tattooed brow lifted along with the corner of his mouth.
It was...enticing. Sam could admit that to himself. But in the end, Sam settled on the floor, noting the disappointed sigh that came from the bed. A quick flick of his ring terminal, and the lights in the safe house went out. There remained a few safety lights shining along the floor, but other than that, Sam couldn't see anything.
So, it startled Sam when a weight settled onto his stomach. He hadn't even heard Higgs move, much less lower himself off the bed. One hand rested against Sam's chest while the other pawed blindly until it found his hair, fingers tangling in the strands.
"Higgs?"
Voice strained, Higgs said, "Thought you could hide yourself from me?" A stuttering inhale, and then Sam felt Higgs roll his hips, his erection hard against Sam's stomach. "Thought I wouldn't notice?" Another hip roll. A damp patch formed where Higgs rubbed his cock. "You're so goddamn polite—makes me fuckin' sick. Also makes me want you so much." Higgs groaned as Sam's stomach muscles contracted right as Higgs bore down.
Sam didn't know what to say to any of that, but his cock was definitely responding, hardening with every roll of Higgs's hips.
"Gimme your hand," Higgs said, grasping along Sam's sides. Sam moved his hand until it finally connected with Higgs's. "Feel what you do to me." Higgs tugged Sam's hand up to his chest, and Sam, with a shock, discovered that Higgs was naked, as his hand was dragged over Higgs's nipples then down, down, down to rest against the hard length of his cock.
Sam groaned, bucking his hips when his fingers touched the bare skin of Higgs's cock.
With a laugh, Higgs wrapped Sam's fingers around his cock, and then he pressed into Sam's grip. "Yeah, that's it, cowboy. Now, you gonna fuck me or am I getting off on the palm of your hand?"
Sam pumped his hand and paused when he reached the head of Higgs's cock.
Somehow even more blood rushed to Sam's cock when his thumb pressed into something metal. Higgs moaned, the sound making Sam's cock twitch.
"What's this?" Sam asked, running his thumb over the metal once again.
Higgs panted. "Fuck do you mean? It's a piercing."
Sam's brain shut down for the five seconds it took to process that Higgs had a genital piercing, his hand coming to a complete stop.
Stilling his hips, Higgs asked, "That a problem?"
Perhaps it was the darkness, perhaps it was the intimate situation they were in, but Sam swore he heard a tremor of concern in Higgs's voice. With a heavy swallow, Sam rose up, wrapped his arms around Higgs, and flipped them. Higgs cackled, the sound bright in the dark.
"Whew, should have tried this ages ago. We could have been—" Higgs choked on his words.
Sam had buried his face between Higgs's legs and mouthed at the piercing, licking at the warm metal before sucking at the head, tasting Higgs's precum. Shaky hands settled on top of Sam's head as Higgs moaned, his hips lifting every so often, seeking more of the wet warmth in Sam's mouth. As for Sam, he continued to suck and lick, paying as much attention to the piercing as he could.
Which didn't escape Higgs's notice.
"Goddamn, Sam, starting to think you like the piercing more than me."
Sam released Higgs's cock from his mouth, said, "I do like this piercing more than you," and went back down, running the flat of his tongue back and forth along the piercing and earning a long, drawn-out moan from Higgs.
"Sam, shit—" Higgs cut himself off, and Sam imagined Higgs biting into his lip. "You keep playing with it, and I ain't gonna last much longer."
That was the point. Sam continued to mess with the piercing and snaked a hand down to Higgs's hole, rubbing at it and occasionally pressing the tip of his finger in until Higgs was a writhing, panting, cursing mess on the floor.
Bracing one hand against Higgs's thigh and pinning it to the ground, Sam waited until...
"Sam!" Higgs shouted, elongating Sam's name.
Quickly releasing Higgs from his mouth, Sam wrapped his hand around Higgs's cock and pumped him through his orgasm, enjoying the sound Higgs made as his cum splashed across his stomach—a mix between affronted that Sam hadn't swallowed and incredibly turned on. Sam rose, dropped his pants, and gripped his own cock. It only took a few pumps before he also came, aiming for Higgs. A gasp followed by an incredulous laugh told Sam that his aim was true.
Afterward, it was quiet as they both caught their breaths. Sam settled back onto the floor and rested his cheek against Higgs's thigh, the smell of cum and sex heady and intoxicating. It wouldn't surprise Sam if he slept straight through the night—it had been so long since he'd gotten off that he felt wrung out.
A tap at his shoulder made Sam raise his head. He still couldn't see Higgs very well, but he could make out the shape of him. Idly, he wondered how Higgs was feeling after that. Was Higgs surprised by Sam? Or did he maybe know Sam better than either of them thought?
"Much as I would love to wear the evidence of our little affair here to bed, I don't much fancy the idea of scraping this off of me in the morning."
Sam nodded and pushed himself off the floor, yanking his pants up once he was standing. The long, lean shape of Higgs Monaghan stood up as well, and Sam was really regretting not turning on the lights. His imagination could only go so far. An insidious voice in Sam's head whispered, "There's always next time," and Sam blanched at the thought of this happening more than once.
While some of the wounds from their mutual history had healed, others still remained. And as reality set in, Sam grappled with what direction he should go in now. There was no doubt that they weren't enemies anymore, not after spending a month together where the biggest fight had been about what they were going to have for dinner one night. (Higgs had wanted pizza. Again.) But things between them were still shaky and fraught, and Sam had never stopped looking over his shoulder.
The sound of the shower turning on and Higgs humming to himself as he cleaned up eased Sam out of the spiral he was falling down. Sam reached out until his hand bumped into the bed, and he sat on the edge of it and waited.
When the shower shut off and Higgs stepped out, he stopped short. "You sleepin' on the bed then?"
"Pretty sure the floor is covered with cum, so yeah."
Higgs walked to the head of the bed and climbed on, sliding past Sam. "Plenty more floor to sleep on, but I ain't complaining." He stretched out along the bed, back against the wall.
Sam didn't say anything; he simply reclined back on the bed.
Even in the dark, Sam knew Higgs was looking at him. He knew by the way the hairs on the back of his arms stood up, from the way his heart rate picked up, fight or flight instinct climbing alongside it.
Before he could think better of it, Sam asked, "How long have you had the piercing?"
Higgs whistled. "You really do love it more than me." A touch of faux sadness entered his voice as he added, "And here I thought we had something." When Sam didn't say anything else, Higgs added, apologetically, "Since I was a porter. Had a shit ton of other piercings as well, but"—here, he sounded wistful—"Amelie didn't like the look of 'em. Said it wasn't the appearance she wanted in a Herald. So, I removed them." The bed shifted as Higgs scooted closer, leaning in to whisper, "But I kept this one. Last little bit of rebellion, I s'pose."
They were so close now that Sam could feel Higgs's breath wafting over his cheek. If he turned his head to the side, it would take the barest of movements to kiss Higgs. But Sam kept his eyes trained on the ceiling. His eyelids grew heavy, and he couldn't stop yawning. Sleep was gaining on him. And right before he fully succumbed to sleep, he heard Higgs murmur, "Night, Sam."
In the morning, Sam awoke to find himself tangled up in Higgs. One of Higgs's long legs was thrown over Sam's calf, and he'd tucked his head up under Sam's chin, arms bunched up between their chests. Higgs was still naked, and Sam lightly passed his fingers over one of Higgs's shoulders, watching with interest as goosebumps rose along the areas Sam touched.
Sam willed it to stop, but he couldn't hold back the way his heart felt too big for his chest, the way warmth spread from every spot their bodies touched.
And how that was followed by a bucket of ice-cold panic falling onto his head.
—
The order was handed off smoothly, and Sam and Higgs began the three-day trek back home. Sam was relieved that the safe house they'd slept in the night before was taken when they returned to it; he wasn't sure what he would do if they were forced into such cramped quarters again.
Higgs had been his usual self, chatting Sam's ear off by making idle observations about the landscape ("Fuckin' rocks far as the eye can see") or mentioning what he was going to do when they got back ("Can finally finish the book I was reading—should have brought it with me").
As for Sam, he'd withdrawn into himself the second he realized that he was feeling soft for Higgs. Well, more withdrawn than he normally was. Where once he'd at least answer Higgs's questions and hold a conversation with him, he now either nodded or shook his head, pointed when Higgs asked which direction they needed to go, and generally kept to himself.
He was aware that it wasn't right to drop Higgs into this silence. It wasn't entirely Higgs's fault that Sam caught feelings—it was Higgs's fault though that he was the man who set Sam on fire, killed Fragile, and stole years of Sam's life with his daughter. Now Sam spiraled, unsure what to do with all of this and nobody to talk to about it. None of his friends would understand any of it—he hadn't even told them Higgs was back, not sure how to broach the subject, especially as the days went by and he continued to let Higgs stay.
In response to Sam's sudden taciturnity, Higgs became more and more animated, more and more chatty, like he was trying to fill the empty space between them with as many words as he could. It was like he thought that if he held the conversation for them both, maybe things would go back to the way they were.
So, when Sam spied his own bunker in the distance, relief rained down on him. It wouldn't change the weird tension between them, but maybe they could slip back into the roles they'd established for themselves over the last month.
But that hope popped the moment they were inside.
Higgs slipped past Sam, not saying a word, not making eye contact. He headed right into the bedroom. Sam heard him digging through a drawer, and then Higgs returned, one hand clutched around something Sam couldn't make out. He disappeared into the bathroom, letting the door slide shut behind him. Sam was left alone to unpack and put away their things. All the while, he wondered what Higgs was up to in the bathroom.
After ten minutes, when Higgs was still holed up in the bathroom, Sam grew worried. He'd stepped toward the bathroom door five times, planning to knock and make sure Higgs was okay. But every time, he swerved back to the living room and collapsed onto the couch, which had become his bed when he gave up his bedroom to Higgs.
Finally, Sam had enough and knocked lightly at the door. "Just making sure you're okay..." He trailed off, feeling stupid all of a sudden.
He was met with silence until the door slid open. Higgs was shirtless, and Sam's mouth went dry as his eyes jumped from the small hoop earring in Higgs's earlobe to the studs dotting the cartilage to both nipple rings.
Higgs waited, eyes burning into Sam. But when Sam didn't say a thing and the silence stretched into a minute, Higgs sighed and, with a roll of his eyes, headed back into the bedroom, leaving Sam shell-shocked.
—
Over the next two weeks, Sam couldn't stop his eyes from lingering on the earrings adorning Higgs's ears, new ones appearing every day it seemed, or from raking over Higgs's chest, searching for any indication of the piercings he'd briefly seen. They featured, along with the dick piercing, in his dreams, and Sam regularly woke up hard and aching, rushing to the bathroom and grateful for the fact that Higgs always slept until at least nine in the morning.
Sam never lasted long.
And to say things were tense between Sam and Higgs would be an understatement. It was like all the work they'd done to reach some kind of new normal was completely undone by one night and one impulsive decision. Neither knew how to behave around the other—conversations started, only to peter out; awkward moments where they tried not to touch each other; the oppressive silence as they each ate their meals in separate spaces.
As a way to avoid confronting whatever was brewing within himself, Sam took on more and more deliveries—easy, quick ones that meant Sam would be back by nightfall, so Higgs didn't need to come along. And every time Sam returned, Higgs seemed more withdrawn, more preoccupied. Any time Sam happened to look at Higgs there was a permanent scowl on his face. The tension inside the bunker tightened as things remained unsaid and unresolved.
Then, one night while they were eating dinner, the tension caved in on them. Higgs sat on the couch, viciously stabbing into his food but not actually eating any of it, and Sam stood at the kitchen counters, listlessly poking at his own meal. The only sounds were the clinking of their cutlery against their bowls and the whir of the air unit cycling.
But the silence was interrupted when Higgs tossed his bowl onto the coffee table, the skittering clang of it across the table biting and accusatory.
"The hell is your problem?" Higgs stalked toward Sam, body trembling from trying to contain the rage Sam was sure had been simmering below the surface for days now. "You give me the best fuckin' blowjob of my life, and then nothing? What is it? Was it too much, too fast? Was—" But whatever Higgs was going to say next was cut off by a frustrated growl.
Sam stayed still and listened, not saying a word, unsure of what might come out if he spoke.
Higgs rubbed at his eyes, and Sam was afraid when he saw the tears. They didn't spill over, but every time Higgs tried to wipe them away, they reappeared, glistening.
"Will you say something?" Higgs asked, raising his voice with every word until he was screaming the last one. "Fuck." Higgs wiped furiously at his eyes, almost scratching them. Sam stood and wrapped his hands around Higgs's wrists, tugging them away from Higgs's eyes.
Now that Sam was really looking at Higgs, he could see the shadows under his eyes or how his skin was paler than normal, how thin his face had grown. Was he not eating or sleeping over this?
Higgs turned his face away from Sam, giving Sam a clear view of all eight piercings in his ear. "Thought maybe if I put the piercings back in, I could restart whatever that night had been. Or that maybe you'd see it as a sign that I'm done fightin'. That I ain't a Herald or a ghost or any of that anymore. But that was a stupid idea, wasn't it?"
"It wasn't stupid."
With wide eyes, Higgs looked back at Sam. "He fucking speaks. What's the Great Deliverer got to say to explain the silent treatment?"
Sam averted his eyes and decided to just go for it. "It's hard for me to move on. You know that." He waited, hoping Higgs would interject, let his mouth run like he normally did. But the silence that met Sam meant Higgs was choosing to let Sam hang himself with his words. "I don't know what the fuck this is, but..." Every word was like dragging himself through glass, leaving him bloodied and bare. "I think I want the same thing you do."
"And just what is that, Sam? Please enlighten me."
Closing his eyes, Sam said, "To stop fighting. To rest." To move forward instead of staying rooted to the spot, like a broken record skipping and replaying the same second over and over again.
Higgs tapped his foot against the floor, the sound pounding into Sam's head.
Finally, Higgs said, "I think I can work with that." Then Higgs, closer than Sam had realized, grabbed Sam's face in one hand, forced Sam to look at him, and with a feral grin, said, "Now strip."
"'Scuse me?"
"Sam, you have been giving me the silent treatment for the last two weeks, so you're playing by my rules now. Strip and get on that bed or I am sending your ass to the Seam."
In Sam's estimation, it was probably an empty threat. However, the danger of it, the possibility, sent sparks shooting down Sam's spine. Higgs gently shoved Sam backward and leaned a hip against the kitchen counters, arms crossed. Sam eyed him and then found himself yanking his shirt over his head and tossing it aside. Higgs's eyes widened a fraction before being overtaken by lust as his eyes roved over Sam's chest, dipping lower as Sam slowly worked his pants down. He hadn't expected it, but the attention he received from Higgs was quickly turning him on, and he was already half hard. Sam dragged his underwear down and threw them into the pile he'd made of his clothes.
Then Higgs did a loud wolf whistle, and Sam had a moment of self-consciousness, fighting the impulse to hide, hands clenching into fists at his side.
Higgs tilted his head, keeping his eyes on Sam—specifically, on Sam's cock. "Oh yeah, I can definitely work with this." He snapped his fingers and pointed to the bedroom. "Off you go."
Sam walked past Higgs, flushing when Higgs said, "I don't know what I was thinking—that ass is wasted in the Seam." As he stepped into the bedroom, Sam heard Higgs's footsteps behind him. He settled onto the bed and took in the pleased look Higgs shot him.
"Lie down." Higgs's grin widened as Sam settled back onto the bed, dick fully hard now. His eyes once more raked over Sam as the grin dropped, replaced by a thoughtful frown. "There's just one thing missin'."
Higgs rummaged around in the dresser near the bed, loudly exclaiming when he found what he was looking for. It was an extra bundle of strand that Sam kept stashed away.
"Arms up," Higgs said, unwinding some of the strand. He peered at it, glanced up at Sam ("I said, arms up, Sam"), and then unwound a bit more, cutting it with a knife he kept on the nightstand.
Sam raised his arms as Higgs climbed onto the bed, hands clutching the strand and idly wrapping it around his knuckles. Higgs straddled Sam's chest and wrapped the strand around Sam's wrists and the bars at the head of the bed, knotting and tightening as he went.
"That's it," Higgs murmured, sitting back and taking in his handiwork. "Give 'em a tug."
Sam did. His hands barely moved even when he tried to put all his strength into it. The strand dug in until he finally relaxed, the knowledge that he couldn't move, couldn't go anywhere settling in. He watched as Higgs ran his hands up and down Sam's chest, slowly, taking his time. Higgs reached for Sam's nipples, rolling and tweaking them. Sam groaned and his hips moved, searching for friction.
When Higgs had had his fill of Sam's chest, he slid off him and repositioned himself between Sam's legs, taking care not to touch or even brush against Sam's aching cock, which had developed a small pool of precum where it lay heavy against his stomach. Higgs placed his hands on Sam's hipbones, rubbing his thumbs along them while he scrutinized Sam's cock. Sam flushed from the attention. He couldn't remember the last time anyone had looked at him so closely.
Higgs smiled up at Sam, in a way Sam might describe as tender or loving, if it came from anybody else. Then, Higgs enveloped the head of Sam's cock with his mouth.
Moaning, Sam tried to press deeper, needing more of that warm, wet mouth. But Higgs had a firm grip on his hips and wasn't letting him move an inch.
And when Sam felt a brush of something hard and metallic dragging alongside Higgs's tongue, he stared, wide-eyed, down at Higgs, who was looking right back at him.
With a wink, Higgs lifted his head from Sam's cock, licking his lips and flashing the barbell running through the center of his tongue.
Sam shut his eyes and tipped his head back, wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into with Higgs. Wet heat wrapped around his cock once again, and Sam screwed his face up, biting into his lip every time Higgs's tongue piercing passed over his cock. He could feel his orgasm growing with every swipe, every lick, every suck.
And just as he thought he might tip over the edge, cool air hit and all the sensations stopped, shoving his chance at release back down.
Sam's eyes flew open, and he looked at Higgs in disbelief, arms straining against the rope binding him to the bed.
Smirking, Higgs lifted himself off the bed. "If you ain't gonna swallow, then neither will I. 'Sides, I gotta do somethin' real quick." Higgs started heading toward the door and then paused, swiveling back to Sam and adding, "Don't move." And Higgs, grinning at his joke, left the bedroom with Sam still tied to the bed.
"Real quick" apparently meant longer than five minutes. After a while, Sam began to worry that Higgs had actually left the bunker. Even though Sam would return if he died of starvation or thirst, he didn't exactly enjoy the idea of dying in this position—naked and tied to a bed.
So, when Higgs returned, a look of disappointment crossed his face when he noticed Sam's flagging erection. "I was only gone for thirty minutes, Sam." He sighed, over the top and insincere. "But that's on me: I should have told you to keep your dick ready for me."
Higgs pulled his shirt over his head, and Sam's erection wasted no time in coming back to life.
Attached to both nipple rings was a thin golden chain resting over Higgs's breastbone, the metal glinting from the overhead lights. He eyed Sam's cock while removing his pants and underwear. Higgs's own cock curved up to his stomach, the piercing on full display. He tossed aside his clothes and moved to the nightstand.
In that moment, Sam wanted nothing more than to be freed as Higgs took his sweet time searching the nightstand. Sam wanted to touch and explore and mark every inch of Higgs—from his piercings to his long legs to every stupid golden tattoo on his body.
"There ya are," Higgs said, brandishing a bottle of lube and climbing up onto the bed.
Higgs straddled Sam once again and squeezed a large amount of lube onto his hand. He reached down and slicked up Sam's cock. Higgs held onto the base of Sam's cock as he lowered himself, slowly. Sam moaned as the tip of his cock slipped into Higgs with little resistance. But he scowled when Higgs stopped at that point, thigh muscles taut and holding him up.
"Fucking move," Sam said, no longer interested in playing games.
"Tsk, that's not how we get what we want," Higgs said, lifting himself off of Sam. He braced himself with his hands on Sam's sides, fingers digging into muscle.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Please, fucking move."
Higgs hummed, considering Sam's request. "You know what? I think I'll just get myself off and leave you here for a bit. See if it changes your mind on askin' politely." Higgs grasped his own cock and began to earnestly jerk himself off, gasping every time his fingers hit the piercing. "What do you say, Sam?"
"It seems like you've already decided." Sam watched, mouth dry, as Higgs continued to pump his cock with his hand, precum leaking out on every stroke.
"Nah, I'm always open to negotiation." Higgs sounded breathless, like he'd come at any moment. "Now, one way you can change my mind, is by admitting that you like me more than my piercings." Higgs paused, hand stopping, and added, "With feeling." His hand picked up the pace again. "You've got until I come to convince me or you're staying like this until I feel generous. And go." Higgs snapped his fingers and picked up the pace on his cock, throwing his head back on a particularly good stroke.
Sam thought about all the times Higgs had pissed him off, had ruined his life. He thought about how Higgs wasn't a pleasant person to be around most of the time. Higgs was loud and obnoxious and couldn't take a hint (or straight up ignored the hint).
But Higgs also seemed to actually love Sam. He'd fussed over Sam, in a roundabout, insulting way; he made sure Sam was eating, sleeping, and taking care of himself. He'd put his piercings back in to show Sam that he was no longer interested in fighting, that he was ready to finally be at peace.
And Sam realized that he might actually love Higgs in return, as scary as that thought was.
He wasn't ready to admit that out loud though, so he settled for the best he could do at that moment.
"I do. Fuck, I do like you more than the piercings."
Higgs opened his eyes, looked into Sam's, and yanked his hand back off his cock. From the look of him, he was fighting off his orgasm, mouth a thin line as he reeled himself back from tipping over the edge. His chest heaved, and his words were stilted as he said, "That's more like it, Sammy boy. Now since you've been very well-behaved"—Higgs reached for the knife he'd left on the nightstand—"I'm going to give you a treat."
Then, Higgs slashed through the strand holding Sam back, hacking at the rope. When he was done, Higgs tossed the knife aside and said, "Do your worst, oh Great Deliverer."
Sam rubbed at his wrists, wincing at the rope burns ringing them, the marks bright red against his skin. He glanced up at Higgs, who'd tipped his chin up in challenge.
And then Sam moved, shoving Higgs into the mattress and latching his mouth onto one of the nipple piercings he'd been dreaming about for a week. Underneath him, Higgs laughed, the sound morphing into a moan as Sam took the piercing between his teeth and tugged. Higgs's legs wrapped around Sam's waist, heels digging into the back of Sam's thighs. Sam slid one hand down the length of Higgs's body, skirted around Higgs's cock ("God, come on, Sam"), and pressed two fingers into Higgs's entrance, still slick from the lube Higgs had coated Sam's cock in. He angled his fingers, moving them until Higgs jolted and hollered.
After a couple more hits to Higgs's prostate, Sam removed his fingers, ignoring Higgs's whining about it, positioned himself and eased into Higgs's hole. Higgs had prepped himself well because Sam met little resistance. Sam bottomed out, and they both groaned at the sensation. They took a moment to adjust, and then Sam pulled out and thrust back in. Higgs's hands scrabbled to find purchase on Sam's back as Sam set a brutal pace, tired of being toyed with.
Sam grabbed one of Higgs's long legs and shoved it up, granting himself a better angle to nail Higgs's prostate repeatedly. He repositioned his hand when it slid in the sweat beading Higgs's thigh. Higgs, usually one for long-winded speeches and a mouth that could run for miles, could only maintain a steady stream of "Sam, Sam, Sam." Slowing, Sam got in a couple more deep thrusts before a flash of metal caught his eye.
Sam released Higgs's leg and hooked one finger around the chain attached to Higgs's nipples, pulling on it. At first, Higgs resisted, but he finally gave in and, with a wince, lifted with the chain.
When Higgs was finally up, Sam positioned him in his lap. They were nearly nose to nose, their panting breaths mingling in the air between them. Higgs's eyes were heavy-lidded, and there was something in them that frightened and thrilled Sam. Sam closed the distance between them and kissed Higgs, soft at first before demanding entrance to his mouth, winding his tongue with Higgs's. He toyed with the barbell in Higgs's tongue for a moment before separating again.
"I ain't lasting much longer, Sam," Higgs panted, eyes screwing shut as he slowly rocked his hips back and forth.
Sam reached down and palmed Higgs's balls before wrapping his hand around Higgs's cock, thumb brushing up and down along the piercing a couple of times. With a shaky exhale, Higgs came, spurting cum over Sam's hand and dropping his forehead to Sam's shoulder. Relaxed, Higgs ran his hands along Sam's back, clinging to him as Sam laid Higgs back onto the bed and started thrusting into him once more.
It wasn't long before Sam could feel his own release approaching. He pressed his thumb onto one of Higgs's nipples, the ring most likely leaving an indent. One more deep thrust, and the bottom dropped out of Sam. He came with a gasp, grinding into Higgs, filling him. On shaky arms, he held himself up. He wanted to crash onto Higgs, bury his face into Higgs's neck, wrap himself around Higgs, but was unsure if that would be okay or not.
Hands carded through Sam's hair, and he glanced at Higgs, who looked completely sated. The hands in his hair applied pressure to the back of Sam's head until Sam lowered himself and curled into Higgs, who embraced him.
"You certainly delivered, Sam," Higgs said, slurring the words slightly. "Really livin' up to that 'Man Who Delivers' nickname."
Sam placed a kiss to Higgs's neck, inhaling the smell of sweat and, to Sam's great pleasure, his own soap on Higgs's skin. "We should clean up," he said, even though the idea of moving seemed like the worst thing to do in that moment.
"I know—just a couple more minutes." Higgs clung to Sam, refusing to let go even as Sam tried to move away.
In the end, Sam gave up and relaxed into Higgs's arms. His eyes grew heavy, and he tried to fight off sleep, knowing they needed to rinse off, needed to talk. What were they now? What did all of this mean in relation to their entire history up to this point? And what did it mean for their future?
Sam heard Higgs mumble, "I love you, Sam."
And while Sam still wasn't ready to admit how he felt, maybe someday, as they saw where this might lead, he'd be able to return the sentiment in kind.
For now, he simply curled into Higgs and allowed himself the chance to enjoy this moment.