Chapter Text
April 2012
Hey this is Hinata
Ok
It is perhaps not the best of starts. They had really only exchanged numbers out of necessity anyway, a function of needing to be able to plot and plan to earn their way back into the gym and to make sure Kageyama can continue being a setter.
Hinata is already determined on that point for some reason, though he cannot seem to fully articulate why. All he knows is he wants Kageyama to keep being a setter, his setter. Though so far Kageyama has not shown any of the same interest in Hinata being his spiker.
Oh well, Shouyou is used to having to work for things. Although if he is honest, friendship is not usually one of them. Generally it is something that comes easy to him, but not so with this particular prickly rival.
*****
November 2025
“Hey, it’s Hinata.” He cringes at himself a little.
“I guess… you already know that,” he adds with a nervous laugh. “Caller ID and everything…”
He tries to take in more oxygen, to try to stop his wild heart from beating out of his own chest.
“I’m… really worried about you. We’re all really worried about you, but me especially. I — “
Shouyou stops himself.
“Just, please call me, Bakayama.”
He presses his phone screen to end the call and grips his phone tight, looking out at the waves rolling in. He and some of his teammates are in Praia Grande for the weekend to get out of the city for a while, but Shouyou is still an emotional wreck over Kageyama’s apparent disappearance.
He takes in another long and slow breath, closing his eyes and centering himself. After a while he opens his eyes and gives a determined little nod seen by no one but the sea. He has made up his mind — Kageyama has made him work hard for his friendship before, and Shouyou will do it again, if that’s what it takes.
*****
April 2012
Are you okay, Bakageyama?
They do not really have the kind of relationship yet that would normally warrant this sort of show of concern, but Hinata feels like he has to do it anyway. He tries his best to glaze over it with the nickname he has already given him, often met with a pouting frown, a wrinkled brow, and a shy, quiet “Dumbass” in response.
Where do those assholes get off making fun of his setter, his rival, like that? The blond one had been especially mean, and Hinata cannot for the life of him work out what his problem might be. He is usually such a people-person, but he is starting to worry a bit about being on a team with all of these sullen meanies.
At least Tanaka-senpai is nice, and he never seems to mind Hinata’s boundless energy and enthusiasm. Suga-senpai too, who is starting to help him improve his skills. He hopes he will get closer with the rest of the team soon too — if Captain-san even allows him to join, that is.
Hinata waits and waits and waits for a reply back. He has plenty of things he should be doing, but instead he finds himself glancing at his phone too often, a knot of worry beginning to form. He has not known Kageyama for long, but backing down and acting meek certainly does not strike Hinata as normal for him. Hinata tries to tell himself it is not worry that he feels, just that he cannot tolerate his great rival losing to anyone other than him. He will not stand for it.
Eventually Hinata has to get into the bath, brush his teeth, and settle into bed. Early mornings biking through the mountains are now made even earlier by their clandestine morning practices. Just before he closes his eyes though, his phone finally buzzes twice, rattling lightly against the wood of his nightstand.
Yes, I’m fine.
Don’t be late tomorrow, Dumbass.
*****
Late November 2025
“I heard from Tsukishima today,” Hinata says into his phone as he paces back and forth in the kitchen of his Sao Paolo apartment. “He asked if I’d talked to you.”
Hinata falls silent, taking in a breath.
“You know, I thought… maybe if you weren’t talking to me, at least you might have been in touch with him, or Tadashi, or… anyone,” Hinata says. His throat constricts, and his stomach sinks.
“We’re all here for you, you know?” he says quietly into his phone. His throat still feels tight. “We wanna be here for you, and I just… Just call me back, Bakayama.”
*****
May 2012
We have to find a way to get Asahi-san to join again!
How are we supposed to do that?
Suga-san said he has tried.
Texting in class is not their smartest move, given that they could certainly use the instruction. Hinata had been interested to find out that Kageyama’s grades are also garbage. Looking at him before really knowing him, it had been easy to assume a certain level of intelligence in Kageyama. He certainly is a savant when it comes to volleyball, the only thing that matters much to Shouyou anyway. However, Kageyama is just as hopeless as Hinata is academically, which makes Hinata just a tiny bit more comfortable around him, if he is honest.
Hinata had unfortunately been quite perturbed to find out that in contrast, Tsukishima is some sort of genius and is always at the top of his class. As if he could get any more irritating!
I don’t know! But we have to do something!
”I know I don’t see phones out right now, do I?” their sensei warns with a glare.
Let’s meet at lunch and strategize!
Hinata types it out quickly with his lightning-fast fingers then quietly slides his phone back into his pocket and out of sight. He tries to focus, but of course he is lost by this point. Then a few minutes later, Kageyama launches an eraser at his head and points to his own phone, telling Hinata to check his messages.
Fine. But I’m getting my milk first. I’m not letting you fuck up my whole afternoon.
Hinata sighs and shakes his head. He has learned a lot about Kageyama even in the short amount of time they have been semi-unwilling partners. First, that Kageyama is the slowest texter in creation. It takes him forever to compose even the shortest of texts, and it frustrates Hinata to no end. He has an ongoing bet with himself about whether it is because Kageyama is actually just nearly illiterate or if he does it on purpose just to be a pain.
The second is that he insists upon keeping his routines. The man is obsessed with finding some magical recipe for being in “perfect condition” and he does not like to deviate from his weirdo ways of allegedly doing that. He drinks a carton of milk at lunch every single day. He sits on the side of the court maintaining his fingernails right before every practice then does the exact same round of stretches, with only minor variations that depend on factors Hinata does not fully understand. He showers in the same shower stall, goes to the same spot to dry off and get dressed, then eats the same kind of squeeze pouch jelly after every single practice. Heaven help the man who dares to get between Kageyama and his routine.
Hinata’s thumbs hover over the keyboard of his phone, which he tries to hide with his textbook, but then their teacher clears her throat, catching everyone’s attention.
“Hinata-kun, Kageyama-kun,” she says seriously then extends her hand and makes a “bring it here” gesture. They both stand and make their way to the front of the classroom with heads hanging.
“I gave you a warning and you did not listen,” she says sternly. “You can collect these at the end of the day.”
As they make their way back to their desks, Hinata elbows Kageyama in the ribs.
“Nice going, Stupid-yama,” he whispers venomously.
”You’re the one who started this, Dumbass,” Kageyama whispers back, elbowing him harder in return.
Hinata’s irritation melts slightly because of how funny he finds Kageyama’s “whisper”. He is beginning to think Kageyama might be actually physically incapable of truly whispering, always doing a sort of stage whisper that people around them can still hear clearly. This one earns a few broken off chuckles from nearby classmates, which in turn leads to another quick, cutting glare from their teacher before she continues on with the lesson.
*****
Late November 2025
Kageyama had always taken such impeccable care of himself during the entire time Hinata had known him. The idea that a catastrophic injury could happen to him, of all people, felt almost unthinkable — until it did happen.
Hinata can’t imagine what Kageyama must be feeling, isolating himself like this. He’s typically so emotionally constipated that even in the best of circumstances he gets too in his own head. He must be lonely, Hinata thinks, but then again, maybe he’s not. The sickening thought that maybe, just perhaps, Kageyama actually prefers things this way sometimes comes crashing into his mind, and then the rest of his day is pretty much ruined after that.
There is little information anyone knows about Kageyama’s condition, it seems. Hinata has been checking often. He has a search alert for Kageyama’s name that notifies him of any new mention of him online.
He is also sometimes in touch with Kageyama’s teammates in Italy. They all adore their “Tobi”, and some of them had become fast friends with Hinata too during international tournaments and the Paris Olympics. Even they never have much to report these days, just that he is still on leave and that no one has seen him since a couple of weeks after his surgery.
His teammate Marcello had been the first to suggest to Hinata that Kageyama might not even be in Italy anymore. It made sense, Marcello argued, since Tobio had not been in contact with any of their teammates and had not been seen in Rome by either them or the press. It felt like he had just disappeared altogether.
That had become the preoccupation of Hinata’s whirring mind for the better part of three days. If not in Rome, with his team’s doctors and his support system, then where?
Hinata feels certain Kageyama is not in Miyagi. Tadashi and Tsukishima had checked. Yachi had even been in touch with Miwa-nee, Coach Ukai, and any of their other acquaintances the four of them could think of. Everyone else is just as clueless about his whereabouts.
Maybe Poland then, to see Ushijima-san? Other than Hinata, Ushijima is probably the person Kageyama is closest with. They have a kind of kinship between them that Hinata does not even fully comprehend himself. It is different from the bond Hinata shares with Kageyama, but quite nearly as important. He sincerely doubts Ushijima-san would allow it though. He would likely insist that Kageyama should stay put under the watchful care of his team.
No matter how Hinata thinks about it, he cannot make any headway. None of the options feel more likely than any of the others, and without further information he has no leads.
Hinata is tired. It is not like the satisfying ache of physical exertion that he enjoys so much, but rather a kind of low-grade mental and emotional exhaustion that slowly drives him mad. He thinks too much these days. He feels too much. It is clearly unsustainable, going around with the widening hole in his chest, but he isn’t sure what else he can do.
Desperate again, he pulls out his phone. It’s a text this time, because he already knows how much his voice will shake.
I’m just checking in again…
*****
After 2nd year Interhigh Qualifiers, 2013
Are you awake?
It feels a little raw, a little too vulnerable, but he sends it anyway. Hinata is always having to be the brave one of them when it comes to feelings.
I am.
Hinata rolls over in his bed and rubs his eyes.
You can’t sleep either?
No.
Where do you live, Yamayama?
He knows the general direction of Kageyama’s house, of course, but he has never been there himself.
It takes much longer for the next text to come in, and Hinata squirms a bit, waiting for a reply, hoping he has not fallen asleep or decided he does not want to talk anymore.
Why?
Hinata sighs.
Because I want to pick a place midway between our houses, moron.
Who says I am going anywhere with you at this hour, Dumbass?
Okay fine then!
Hinata tosses his phone down to the foot of his bed then flops back angrily, crossing his arms and looking at the ceiling. He won’t admit it, but he’s hurting too after such a close loss to Datekou, and his mind can’t seem to slow down. He needs company — Kageyama’s company, preferably.
Even though they bicker and scratch and swipe at each other like cats in an alley fight, Kageyama always seems to understand. They just sort of “get” each other. Not in all ways, but in the ones that seem to matter, all the ways no one has ever “gotten” him before.
Hinata is finally almost asleep when he hears a buzzing from the other end of his bed. He pops upright and flounders for his phone. When he opens it, the text is from Kageyama, only an address.
Bakayama, how am I supposed to know where this is?
About two minutes later, Hinata’s phone buzzes — a call this time.
“Look it up, moron,” Kageyama says without even a hello.
“I can’t Stupid-yama!” Hinata hisses quietly. “I’m supposed to be in bed. I can’t get on the computer without my mom knowing.”
Kageyama sighs a deep, frustrated sigh.
“Well where the hell do you live then?” he snaps.
Hinata glances at the clock on his desk.
“It’s late,” Hinata sighs. “Maybe we should give up on it.”
“It was your idea!” Kageyama yells so loudly that Hinata has to tip the phone away from his ear.
“I know, I know,” Hinata defends, “but if I go out now my mom might literally kill me.”
Kageyama goes silent on the other end of the phone for long enough that Hinata thinks he may have hung up.
“Kagey —?”
“Send me your address, dumbass,” Kageyama says gruffly.
“Won’t your parents be mad?” Hinata sputters once he recovers. Then Kageyama is quiet again.
“No.” He offers no further explanation, but he sounds certain about it.
“Just text me your address,” he insists, and after that, he really does hang up.
Then about half an hour of nervous pacing later, Hinata gets another text.
Almost there.
Should I knock or what?
No way! Hold on, I’ll come get you.
Shouyou throws on his Vabo-chan t-shirt and quietly sneaks down the hallway toward the back of the house. He can still hear the television in the front room, which means his mother is either still awake or has fallen asleep in front of the tv again. Either way, he has to be careful.
He slides open one of the sliding doors to the back garden. He’d forgotten to grab outdoor shoes, so he continues on in bare feet, stepping lightly and carefully as he goes around the side of the house and creeps to the front. The moon is bright, and he can see the silhouette of a person walking up the lane toward his house. He can tell from the way he moves, the way he holds himself, that it is Kageyama.
The wind has picked up, whipping up from the valley below and whistling through the trees. They sway and bend, the forest murmuring to itself. Kageyama has the wind at his back, and it carries him even faster up the lane and straight to where Shouyou is waiting.
Neither of them talk about it as they naturally fall into step, creeping together toward the back of the house. Kageyama says nothing when Shouyou smuggles him into the back hallway, and then into his room. Shouyou remains silent as he wipes off his feet, clambers into bed, and scoots over for Kageyama to join him.
They don’t touch at all, which feels odd somehow. Kageyama is always one to grab and swat at Hinata, always pushing and pulling him around so that he is exactly where he should be. Shouyou just lets him. He considers himself somewhat of a Kageyama expert now, able to read his moods and condition by the way his mouth moves, by the way his hands feel when he grasps his head. Shouyou can almost hear Kageyama’s body speak. Kageyama is not doing any talking tonight though, verbal or otherwise.
“Are you sure your parents won’t be mad?” Hinata finally whispers when they have been lying in the quiet for a while. Kageyama is silent again, and Hinata can’t tell what he’s thinking.
“They’d have to be here to be mad.”
Hinata doesn’t feel like he’s allowed to comment, so he just nods and lets the subject drop.
After that, he studies Kageyama intently. Sometimes their eyes meet and linger for just a fraction too long. Sometimes they both shy away, and Shouyou feels content to trace every strand of silky black hair falling over his forehead instead.
Even though they don’t speak, Kageyama is still company, still a comfort. Shouyou slowly sinks further and further toward sleep. His eyes flutter, and then eventually close. Just before he falls all the way under, he thinks he can feel Kageyama’s fingers threading into his hair, more gently than usual and grasping at his unruly strands.
In the morning, Kageyama is already gone.
*****
Late November 2025
“Where are you, Yamayama?” Hinata whispers to no one as he lays back on his bed and stares at the ceiling. His stomach sinks, and that seems to be an almost permanent feeling these days.
He closes his eyes, trying to let sleep wash over him, but all he can see is Kageyama behind his eyes.
Is he sad? Is he scared? How is his injury?
He wishes Kageyama would just walk through his door right now, like he used to back when they were young and Hinata would sneak him into his house at night. It only happened a handful of times during their second and third years of high school, and once when Hinata was still playing for MSBY. Any time either one of them was having a particularly hard time, Kageyama would just show up, carried to Hinata as if on the wind.
Hinata’s consciousness begins to slip and his image of Kageyama follows it, sliding easily into the world of Hinata’s half-dreams.
Hinata sees him standing at the edge of a cliff in a dark blue anorak jacket, looking out over the rolling sea. The water looks angry and agitated, stormy. The sky is streaking pink and orange and sickly green, the sun strangled behind storm clouds.
“Kageyama!” Hinata tries to yell, but the wind blows up from the cliffs hard enough to shove all his words back down his throat.
“Kageyama!” he tries again, straining to be heard.
He does not even flinch, does not acknowledge Hinata at all. Hinata steps forward, fighting against the wind that whips against him and buffets through his hair.
“Kageyama!” he cries again, and his eyes water and sting, “Kageyama Tobio!”
Kageyama is still perfectly still, letting the wind swirl around him. It is kinder on him than it is to Hinata, his jacket and hair only gently waving as if in a spring breeze.
He turns his head over his shoulder to glance toward Hinata, and gives him a sad, knowing kind of smile. He turns away again then stretches his arms wide, as if he is embracing the wind.
He’s going to jump. Hinata can feel that he is going to jump.
He tries to yell.
His legs cannot run.
He startles awake and is sweating, heart running wild.
*****