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Gavin isn’t sure what they are, but he knows they aren’t friends. Everybody always commented on their friendship, how they were the ideal pair of best friends. Gavin disagreed.
He wasn’t sure if they had ever been friends, it had always just felt like their relationship was more than that simple word could capture. He’d laugh and nod along as Geoff commented on their shenanigans or someone complained they were too busy talking to each other or fucking around to pay attention. But Gavin was sure he knew more about Michael than any of his actual friends, sure they did things that friends didn’t do.
Gavin knew for a fact that none of Michael’s friends had shared a bed with him. Friends sleep in different beds. But not them.
It had started harmlessly, one night Gavin got too drunk at Michael’s and he just ended up crashing in Michael’s bed with him. It kept happening; they’d get too drunk and then crash in each other’s beds. It was purely for convenience, until it stopped being about that. Michael was the point of change, climbing into Gavin’s bed after a night of playing video games, both of them tipsy but certainly not drunk enough that Michael couldn’t get himself home.
Gavin walked out of his bathroom to find Michael had already moved to his bed and was under the covers, getting comfortable. The sight made Gavin stop, it was new. Michael was making a conscious decision to stay the night. Gavin didn’t question it, obviously, he just got into bed and they chatted a bit before both falling asleep. When they woke up in the morning cuddled together, neither mentioned a thing.
So that’s how it went, any time they hung out, they ended up staying the night. It got to the point where sometimes after a long day at work, they would both just crawl into the one bed and pass out. Every time they woke up, they’d be a mess of limbs, entwined together. Gavin was certain that wasn’t something friends did.
Gavin felt wrong. If he and Michael weren’t friends what were they? Whatever it was, he didn’t feel like other people should know. At least not when he himself wasn’t sure. Whenever Geoff would make an offhand comment about Gavin staying at Michael’s, Gavin would always go along with it, complaining the couch wasn’t comfortable to sleep on and always over exaggerating just how drunk they had been the night before. It got to the point where Geoff was amazed at how well Gavin and Michael could function after consuming so much alcohol. Geoff made less comments to Michael, simply asking him if he’d had a big night when the two arrived to work together in the mornings. Michael would just shake his head and laugh, assuming that Geoff was joking with him, instead of under the impression that he and Gavin got wasted together every night.
Funnily enough, that’s what caused the next disruption in their non-friendship, alcohol. The two of them were out with a bunch of people drinking downtown, having a good night. Michael had already suggested Gavin stay at his and they were both well on their way to being shitfaced. Gavin couldn’t remember who it was, probably Barbara, but someone bet Geoff he wouldn’t kiss Gavin for $50. Michael had scoffed and stated that they shouldn’t bother because Geoff would kiss Gavin for no money. Then someone had the bright idea to bet Michael $100 to kiss Gavin, other people adding on until the figure was up to $350. No one challenged Michael, he was competitive and would do just about anything. But he also never did anything he didn’t want to do, so Gavin immediately laughed it off, trying not to think in the back of his mind why he now couldn’t stop thinking about Michael’s lips. Gavin was incredibly surprised however when Michael simply smirked and stepped towards Gavin who was seated on a stool. Michael didn’t hesitate at all, looking Gavin directly in the eye before leaning in and kissing him. Gavin could faintly hear the wolf whistles from his friends, but all he could concentrate on was Michael. Michael who was kissing him and not just a peck, actually kissing. Was that tongue?
Before he had time to contemplate Michael stepped back, turning towards their group and laughing at their bewildered faces. “Pay up.” Everyone moved to get the money they had offered, besides Geoff who was staring at Michael with a look Michael had never seen. “What?” Michael asked, confused at Geoff’s expression.
Geoff shook his head slightly, “You went all in, hey?” he asked.
Michael laughed, “Gotta give the people what they paid for.” Geoff nodded in agreement but didn’t seem too convinced.
As Michael moved away to collect his money, Geoff took a glance at Gavin, who hadn’t moved since Michael had kissed him. The British boy was just sitting there, mouth half open in shock, eyes glazed over. After a few moments he appeared to pull himself together, joining back in with the conversation, but even Gavin knew he wasn’t as engaged as he was earlier in the night.
The ride home was interesting; the boys were sharing with Meg and Lindsay, so there was plenty of conversation. Michael had chosen the front seat, leaving Gavin squished between the girls. The whole drive to Meg’s the four chatted, attempting to organise another time to play Mario Party, but all far too drunk to actually make any solid plans.
When they got to Meg’s the girls got out quickly, Lindsay waving to Gavin before getting out and motioning for Michael to wind down the window. When he did, she lent in and whispered something in his ear, low enough that the others couldn’t hear. The sight made Gavin feel jealous, which was ridiculous, but he knew Lindsay was Michael’s best friend, so it would be no surprise if he had feelings for Lindsay. Gavin was pulled out of his thoughts as Meg wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek and saying goodnight, before patting Michael on the head and pulling herself out of the car. Gavin watched as she grabbed Lindsay’s hand and dragged her towards the house. He couldn’t help but laugh at the way they both stumbled slightly before making it to the door, watching to make sure they made it safely in their drunken state.
The boys were silent the whole way to Michael’s, the only time they spoke was arguing over who would pay for the ride. They both insisted but Michael won when he literally chucked his money into the car and slammed the door, pulling Gavin away from the car with him. Michael held onto him the whole way to the apartment door, only letting go to get the door unlocked. After several attempts by Michael to get the key into the door, Gavin stepped in, gently grabbing the keys from Michael and opening the door first try. Michael stepped inside complaining, insisting that Gavin was way more drunk than him so it didn’t make sense that Gavin was the one who could open the door. Gavin rolled his eyes fondly, hiding his smile as he closed the door behind them and locked it, turning around to head towards the living room. Except he couldn’t there was a body inches from him that was stopping him, a gleeful smile on Michael’s face. Gavin sighed, leaning back against the closed apartment door.
“What is it Michael, why do you look so cheeky boi?”
Michael’s face changed to a smirk, before quietly saying “I’ll show you cheeky.”
The next thing Gavin knew he was being attacked. Michael was tickling him and targeting all of his most ticklish areas, leaving him squirming against the door. He eventually struggled enough to get Michael to stop, turning them around and pinning him against the door as punishment. Michael pouted and tried to get free. Gavin knew he wasn’t actually trying, because even drunk, Michael could definitely overpower him. Michael ‘gave up’ slumping against the door and sticking his tongue out at Gavin, like a child. Gavin rolled his eyes, taking extra effort to look anywhere other than Michael’s mouth.
“So, Gavvy, about earlier…” Michael said slowly, making Gavin freeze. This gave Michael the perfect opportunity to move, spinning them around again and repining Gavin to the door.
Gavin made a protested noise, immediately trying to slip under Michael’s arm. He stopped however, when he saw the look on Michael’s face, Gavin wasn’t sure but it looked like Michael was staring directly at his lips. Before he had time to contemplate how ridiculous that was, Michael was kissing him again.
This kiss was much the same as earlier, but far more intense. Gavin could tell for certain that there was tongue now, as he felt Michael’s almost fighting for dominance with his. He didn’t know how long they were there. All he knew was Michael’s hands, which slowly moved their way onto his body, one on his waist and the other threading up to grab his hair. Gavin held his hands up awkwardly for a moment, before resting them on the small of Michael’s back. Michael won the battle for dominance, he was clearly leading this whole thing, but Gavin was trying to give back as much as he was getting. When Michael finally pulled away Gavin felt like he couldn’t breathe, but he wasn’t sure whether that was from the kissing or the fact that he was kind of freaking out. Gavin waited for Michael to say something, to at least give some kind of explanation but all he did was laugh, startling Gavin.
“Where’s my 350 bucks for that one.” He said, smiling brightly at Gavin before grabbing his hand. “Come on stupid, it’s like ass o’clock in the morning, time for bed.”
Gavin blindly followed Michael as he was led to the bedroom. When they reached the bed Michael flopped face first onto his side, letting go of Gavin, who sat on the other side of the bed, staring at Michael confused.
“Ugh, I need to piss.” Michael groaned, dragging himself off the bed and into the bathroom. Gavin watched him go before sighing. He was obviously going to get nothing from Michael tonight, so he took off his jeans and grabbed a shirt to put on, before climbing into bed. When Michael stumbled out of the bathroom, he was already in bed with his eyes closed, so he just pretended to be asleep as Michael stripped to his underwear and climbed into the bed, immediately curling himself around Gavin’s body. Gavin didn’t know what had happened, but he knew they would have to talk about it when they woke up.
Except they didn’t talk about it. Gavin woke up first and ordered food to be delivered for lunch. Just as Gavin was paying the delivery man, Michael stumbled out of his room, giving the delivery man full frontal view of him in only his underwear. Michael obviously wasn’t disturbed by this, moaning and walking forward, grabbing the food from Gavin before staggering to the couch where he collapsed, digging in to the burger while simultaneously clutching his head. Gavin watched Michael, unsure whether to bring up last night now or to wait, but when Michael looked up at him with a questioning look, Gavin simply moved forward and sat on the other couch, grabbing his own lunch.
They spent the whole day together, Gavin only going home just after dinner. Everything was normal, they talked like normal, played video games like normal, but still never talked about last night. Michael didn’t seem at all bothered by it, so Gavin wondered if he actually remembered what had happened when they got home. On the ride back to his house, Gavin simply put it down to Michael forgetting. It wouldn’t happen again so Gavin didn’t need to mention it to him and make things awkward.
Everything was fine at work, everything was fine between them and they went a whole week without any incidents, only seeing each other at work. Gavin didn’t even spend most lunches with Michael, as Lindsay was pretty much waiting for Michael at every break, dragging him off to have lunch with her. It was fine, of course, Gavin ate lunch with Jeremy or someone else, it wasn’t like he was short on friends at work. The one day he had lunch with Meg, he decided he couldn’t do it again. She was the first person to notice something was wrong with him and wouldn’t let him leave until he told her what was wrong. She deduced that it was about Michael, but he refused to tell her anything more than that, stating that he wasn’t sure what the problem was either, before bailing on their lunch to head back to the office to work. He also conveniently ignored all of her texts that were related to Michael, before she finally just gave up and stopped asking him, knowing Gavin well enough that if he wanted to tell her, he would.
Reassured by the fact that everything had been normal all week, Gavin had no problem with Michael coming over on Saturday to play video games and hang out. It was all totally normal, they only had a few drinks and they had a really good time, making plans to go swimming next weekend because the weather was meant to be perfect. Everything was going great; they were sitting squashed together on Gavin’s couch playing a really intense match of Halo. Both were absorbed in the game and both let out cries of joy when the screen announced their team the winner. Gavin grinned at Michael, happy they had actually won and Michael smiled back before moving forward and capturing Gavin’s lips with his. There was no warning. They just went from video games to kissing in a second. Gavin wasn’t complaining though. Kissing Michael was just as amazing now as it had been last week and Gavin found himself easily getting lost in the feeling. He was more than willing when Michael nudged him to lie down on the couch, wrapping his arms around Michael as the older boy positioned himself on top of him, deepening the kiss even more. They stayed like that for what felt like hours, mixing between slow, drawn out kisses and fast paced, passionate biting of lips. When Michael finally pulled away, Gavin went with him, trying to keep the contact between them, which caused Michael to laugh quietly as he stood up.
“It’s like, 2 am, time for bed.” Michael said, grabbing Gavin’s hand and pulling him off the couch, before heading over to Gavin’s bed and sitting down to remove his jeans. Gavin really did not understand, as he watched Michael get into bed like nothing had even happened. Shaking himself slightly he snapped back into action. He needed to talk to Michael about what was happening, but not now.
It kept happening and Gavin kept saying nothing. He just wasn’t sure how to approach the subject. Every time the boys were alone, occasionally at the office but mostly at each other’s houses, Michael would take that as an opportunity to kiss Gavin. Whether it was a quick peck or an in depth make out session, Michael would take any chance to get close to Gavin.
The next weekend when they went swimming, Gavin pointedly tried not to stare at Michael in his swimsuit, opting to spend most of his time floating around with Meg, who had joined the boys accompanied by Lindsay. However when they all piled into Lindsay’s car to go home, it was hard to ignore the fact that Michael was right next to him in the backseat, occasionally brushing his hands over Gavin’s thigh, innocent enough that it could be seen as friendly, but felt like so much more. Gavin certainly wasn’t expecting Michael to tell Lindsay to drop them both at Michael’s, saying that they’d just crash there that night. But by this stage, Gavin was expecting the kisses Michael gave him in between chucking him clothes, once they had gone inside. It was so casual that it hurt. Gavin took extra long in the shower, simply staring at the tiled wall contemplating how the fuck he had got into this position with his life.
To say Gavin was confused would be an understatement. The boys didn’t appear to be on the same page, in fact, Gavin didn’t even think they were in the same book anymore. He wasn’t sure what to do. Obviously he knew he needed to speak to Michael but the idea terrified him. Maybe he could just keep living in this weird place of not being friends with Michael but also not knowing what they were at all. At least before there was no kissing involved. Gavin’s plan to ignore the situation went about as well as everything else in his life, poorly. It was working, kind of, though not entirely easily, but when Michael slid his hand into the back of Gavin’s jean pocket during one meeting with the rest of the main six, Gavin freaked out. He was certain no one else had noticed, but he just couldn’t understand. There were people around that could see and Michael just didn’t seem to care?
Gavin excused himself quickly, earning a questioning look from Michael and an annoyed one from Geoff. He quickly made his way over to The Know, hoping that Meg wasn’t filming because he needed to talk to her and he needed to talk to her now. He let out a low whine when he saw Meg standing on set, but he could hear she was wrapping up her shoot so he waited for her, tapping his foot. When the shoot was finished Meg walked over to him, mildly annoyed look on her face.
“Don’t tap your foot at me Gavino. You come here on my work time, you gotta wait.” She said sternly.
He simply nodded, in no state of mind to protest. This surprised Meg and she looked at him more closely, noticing the almost pained look on his face.
“Gav? What’s wrong?” She asked, worried.
“I… Can I talk to you?” He stuttered out, glancing around to see who else was in hearing range.
She didn’t say a word, simply grabbed his hand and lead him to the nearest empty room. When the door was shut behind her, she turned around with a determined look on her face.
“Spill.”
Gavin flopped himself into a chair, placing his head in his hands, mumbling something that Meg couldn’t quite make out.
“I can’t hear you.” She said impatiently.
Gavin sighed and looked up her, whining, “He kissed me.”
Meg didn’t need to ask who he was talking about, there could only be one person.
“When we were drunk? Is that what this is about? That stupid bet?” She was confused.
“No, I mean, not really.” Gavin moaned.
“What’s the issue then?” She asked, not fully understanding.
“He kissed me and he kissed me and he won’t stop kissing me and I don’t understand.” Gavin said, pitifully.
“Wait, what? When did he kiss you? Explain everything.” Meg was under the impression that she was missing a large part of the story.
“After the bet. When we got back to his apartment, he just, kissed me. Like a lot. I thought maybe it was just because he was drunk but he hasn’t stopped kissing me since then?” Gavin complained.
Meg looked shocked, “Gavin, that was over a month ago. You’ve been kissing Michael for over a month and you didn’t say anything to me?”
“I thought that it was just kissing. Like maybe it was just him trying to relieve some tension or whatever. We’ve never talked about it. But, it’s not just when he’s drunk, it’s when he is sober as well. Whenever we’re alone. Even at the office! It’s amazing no one has seen us yet.”
“Gavin I’m not really understanding what the problem is.” Meg said gently, grabbing Gavin’s hand. “Isn’t this a good thing? I mean, I know for a fact you’ve been in love with him for a few years…”
Gavin groaned, shaking his head. “That’s the problem! It’s just kissing. We aren’t anything. We aren’t dating, we aren’t friends, we’re nothing. We’re stuck in this void of nothing. Nothing feels right to describe our relationship and I know we need to talk about it but I thought if I just kept avoiding it, maybe the problem would solve itself. Maybe he would just stop kissing me. Sure, that’d suck, but it might mess with my mind way less. But Meg, that didn’t happen! He’s progressed from kissing to showing actual affection. Just before, with everyone around, he put his hand in my back pocket. That’s not something friends do? That’s something couples do. But we aren’t a couple, We’re nothing.” Gavin was exhausted, flinging his body back into his chair and letting his head loll over the headrest.
“You’re incredibly dumb.” Meg said. Gavin went to protest but she held her hand up, stopping him. “You’re so dumb, but so is Michael. I don’t think I’ve ever met two people as dumb as you. Look Gavin, I love you, you’re my best friend, I love Michael too, but you have to talk about this. Not with me, but with him. You both need to figure out what the fuck is going on between you, because Gav, you’re a mess, but you’ve also seemed happier than I’ve seen you in a while. In the moments where I catch you thinking about nothing, you just seem happy. So go talk to him. Tell him you love him, ask him why he keeps kissing you, do whatever. Just talk to him.”
Gavin couldn’t look away from her steady gaze, feeling himself unwillingly nod his agreement. Meg smiled at him, a soft reassuring smile that almost made him feel like everything was going to be alright. She stood up, opening the door, before pausing in the doorway to speak to Gavin again.
“By the way, I’m coming back here in thirty minutes and if you haven’t got your butt out of here there will be hell to pay.” With that, she sauntered away, leaving a reeling Gavin behind.
He took a few minutes to collect himself, before standing up. He knew Meg would make good on her threat and he also knew she was right. He needed to talk to Michael, so he started heading back to the Achievement Hunter office, determined to handle the situation then and there.
As he marched over to the office, already trying to decide what to say in his mind, he was distracted by two people standing huddled together next to the office. Lindsay was standing in front of Michael, leaning in close to him. Both were absorbed in their conversation, neither of them noticing Gavin approaching. This was probably fortunate, because at the sight of the two standing so intimately, Gavin stopped dead in his tracks. Gavin understood now. Michael had been using Gavin as practice. He wanted to work on his kissing because he wanted to ask Lindsay out. Gavin couldn’t blame him; Lindsay was badass and slightly terrifying, so wanting as much experience as possible wasn’t such an odd idea. Plus, there must be some part of Michael that was just lonely, biding his time until he had the courage to ask Lindsay out. Gavin was annoyed, not with them but with himself. How could he be so stupid and oblivious. To think he’d been about to tell Michael he loved him and fuck up their whole relationship, whatever the fuck it was.
Whatever. It was fine. Gavin was fine. Totally fine.
He walked past the two silently, careful not to draw attention to himself as he stepped inside. He marched straight to the Achievement Hunter main office, briefly glancing at the clock and noting that it was almost time to leave anyways, so he gathered his things. It was fine. Gavin was fine. He just didn’t need to be here to witness it. Once he had his things he informed Geoff he was going home early, made up some bullshit meeting and asked him if he could inform Lindsay when she got back. Geoff was busy planning something on his computer, so simply nodded and brushed Gavin off, giving him the perfect getaway.
So what if he went home to his empty apartment. So what if he practically crawled into bed as soon as he got home, a bed that certainly did not smell like Michael at all, despite the fact that he had slept in it the previous night. So what if he ignored Meg’s text asking how everything went, she didn’t need to know the details urgently. Besides, he was busy staring at his ceiling, not hating his life. So what if when Michael texted him asking if he was okay and why he’d gone home early, Gavin turned his phone off and threw it onto the carpeted floor. He certainly didn’t cry himself to sleep that night, that was just, allergies.
The next few days at work were hell. He avoided Meg at all costs. He knew she meant well but he just couldn’t admit that there was actually a small part of him that had hoped Michael was kind of into him? He couldn’t make eye contact with Lindsay, he didn’t hate her, of course, and she and Michael were perfect for each other. He just, kind of wished it was him and not her, and he felt guilty knowing that even when they started dating, he would always be in love with Michael. Gavin was in videos, but he knew that he seemed distant, only half the usual level of effort he usually gave. Geoff had asked him if everything was alright, but he’d simply said he was just feeling a bit sick. All of that was manageable though, in comparison to Michael. Sure, they chatted in videos, but as soon as they weren’t filming anything, Gavin was out of the room. He made certain he was never alone with Michael and even when he had to be at his computer to edit, he had his earphones on and pretended he couldn’t hear anything anyone was saying. He knew Michael was annoyed. After the several texts that Gavin had simply ignored, Michael tried calling, but Gavin ignored that as well. Michael attempted to raise it at work, of course, but Gavin just kept walking, pretending he hadn’t heard. It was childish, but sue him, he was a child. The working week ended with nothing significant, but it left Gavin feeling miserable, simply wanting to stay in bed all weekend.
This was why, when he was rudely awoken early Saturday morning, he was less than impressed. Storming towards his apartment door he swung it open, ready to tell whoever it was to kindly piss off. However the words got caught in his throat when he was greeted by a pacing Michael, who spun towards the door at the sound of it opening. Gavin swallowed hard. Michael looked furious. Gavin tried to step back, even subconsciously moving to close the door but Michael marched forward, quickly past Gavin and into the apartment, heading towards the living room. Gavin stood there for a moment more before he sighed and closed the apartment door. He really wished he had slept in something more than his boxers, because as he trudged his way to the living room he felt very naked.
Michael sat waiting on the couch for him, eyes watching as Gavin sat on the other couch, trying to simultaneously curl in on himself and disappear into the couch cushions. No one said anything. Gavin wasn’t sure if he should start, but Michael seemed content to just angrily stare, so Gavin figured he probably should.
“Um… Do you want some tea?” Gavin asked.
Michael’s anger quickly turned to shock, before snapping back to anger.
“No, I don’t want some fucking tea. What the fuck?” He all but shouted.
They sat in silence again, Gavin unsure of what to do. Michael was no longer staring at him but seemed to be trying to burn a hole in the wall with his eyes. That or he was just thinking really hard. The silence was making Gavin uncomfortable.
“So… Why are you here?”
Michael looked bewildered.
“Why am I here? Gavin, what the fuck is wrong with you? You haven’t answered my texts, you haven’t answered my calls. You won’t even speak to me properly at work, plus when you do speak to me for videos it sounds forced and like you want to be anywhere but around me.” Michael wasn’t yelling anymore, just sounding confused and hurt, which shocked Gavin slightly.
Gavin wasn’t sure how to respond. It wasn’t like he could deny it, but he didn’t really want to admit to it either. Because admitting it would just make Michael want to know why and the last thing Gavin wanted was for Michael to know that he loved him. That added pressure wasn’t something that Michael needed, especially not when he clearly liked Lindsay. It was all Gavin’s fault, reading too much into meaningless kissing. Gavin’s silence was interrupted by Michael’s phone which started ringing.
Michael looked almost tempted not to answer it, but seeing as Gavin seemed unwilling to speak, he sighed and picked up.
“Yeah, Linds? No, I’m talking to him right now, or more like I’m talking and he’s just staring. No, not yet. No. Okay. I’ll call you later. Yup. Bye.”
Michael hung up looking back to Gavin, expecting to see the same apprehensive appearance, but instead finding Gavin’s face blank of emotion.
“So you finally asked her then?” Gavin said, finally speaking.
“What? Who?” Michael asked, confused.
“Lindsay, you finally asked her.” Gavin said slowly, as if explaining something to a small child.
“What the fuck are you talking about? Asked her what? If she could give me a lift here? Yes, but I don’t understand what you mean by finally?” Michael was becoming increasingly frustrated again. He didn’t have the patience for Gavin to talk in riddles.
Gavin sighed and looked away, staring hard at the wall before answering. “No, you finally asked her out. I mean obviously she was going to say yes, I just didn’t think you’d do it so soon.”
Michael was shocked and also still incredibly confused. “Gav, why would I ask Lindsay out?”
“Well, like, it’s obvious you like her innit and you’re pretty much made for each other.” Gavin said, annoyed that Michael was making this more difficult than it had to be.
“Um. No. Lindsay is like my best friend but that’s about it? Plus I don’t think Meg would be too pleased with me if I tried to take her girl.” Michael really didn’t understand what Gavin was talking about.
“What? Meg and Lindsay?” Gavin asked, bewildered.
“Dude, they’ve been banging for like three months? Have you not noticed that?” Michael laughed, the ridiculousness of the situation and Gavin’s obliviousness just too funny.
Gavin just stared at Michael confused, if Lindsay was with Meg and Michael didn’t want to date Lindsay then what the hell was going on. Gavin still had no explanation for Michael kissing him. Why was Michael showing him affection if it wasn’t because he was bored, or needed practice? Before he had a chance to ask, Michael was talking again.
“Wait, hold on. Why would you think I was going to ask Lindsay out when we’re…” He trailed off, giving Gavin a questioning look.
Gavin let out a frustrated sigh. “When we’re what Michael? I don’t understand? What are we? We aren’t friends, despite what everyone else thinks, so what are we?”
“I thought I had made that pretty obvious…” Michael said softly.
“No!” Gavin cried, “You haven’t and I’m so confused. I just, I can’t take it. Whatever it is, whatever we’re doing. We need to stop. You can’t just keep kissing me like it means nothing. It might mean nothing to you but, I just, I love you, okay? I mean I’ve been in love with you for years and I never had any intention of telling you but whatever has happened between us has fucked it all up. Sleeping in the same bed and kissing and all the absent minded touches might all mean nothing to you, but they’re like individual knives piercing into my heart, every time I think about how they mean so much more to me than they do to you.” Gavin was out of breath and incredibly uncomfortable, looking anywhere but at Michael and desperately trying to cover himself up slightly, wanting to feel less naked and exposed.
“Gav.” Michael said gently. When he got no response he stood up and walked to the couch Gavin was sitting on, sitting next to him and grabbing Gavin’s hands. Gavin still wouldn’t look at him and tried to pull his hands away. Michael sighed and held onto them firmly, but still gently.
“Gav, in the amount of time you’ve known me, have I ever just gone around kissing people for the fun of it?”
Gavin shook his head.
“Exactly. Do you know how many people I share a bed with? Just one and that person is you. I mean, I just assumed this whole time that we were on the same page but I guess I was wrong.”
“What page is that?” Gavin asked quietly, not wanting to believe what he thought Michael was saying.
“I thought we were dating, stupid. Like we spend practically every day together, plus most nights I’m either at yours or you’re at mine. I mean, for fucks sake, I literally took you out to dinner the other night to a fancy restaurant, what did you think that was?”
“I thought you just wanted to try the food out!” Gavin exclaimed, defending himself.
“Well I did, but I wanted to do it with you. You’re right Gavvy, we aren’t friends, we’re so much more than that.” Michael squeezed Gavin’s hands tighter as he spoke, reminding him of the physical bond between them.
“Oh.” Gavin said, finally understanding what Michael had been trying to say. The sharing a bed, the kissing, and the signs of affection… They’d been dating this whole time and Gavin hadn’t even realised. Not that he had reason to.
“You never asked me, I didn’t know…” Gavin trailed off.
“I know. That’s my fault and I’m sorry. So uh, Mr Gavin Free, would you like to be my boyfriend?” Michael said jokingly, but his eyes gave away the slight bit of worry he had that Gavin would say no.
Of course, Gavin simply nodded, smiling at Michael. He couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
Michael closed the distance between them, kissing Gavin in a way both boys were now familiar with, but that felt different now that they were both on the same page. After a few minutes, Michael pulled away, looking Gavin directly in the eyes.
“Oh, I love you too, by the way.”
Gavin laughed and kissed Michael again.
Meg was sitting at her desk in The Know when she saw Gavin approaching. She was up and marching over to him in a matter of seconds.
“You ignored my texts, what happened?” She demanded.
“You and Lindsay hey?” Gavin said in response, confusing her.
“What about us?” Meg said slowly, wondering what the hell this had to do with her question.
“You’re a thing. You never told me.” Gavin said, levelling her with a stern look, which looked odd on Gavin.
Meg couldn’t tell if Gavin was joking, but from the look he gave, she assumed he wasn’t. “What do you mean? I told you the night we all went out drinking? Plus Lindsay literally came home with me that night, what did you think was happening?”
“What, I don’t remember you telling me? When during the night?” Gavin said, trying to recall.
“I don’t know when, after Michael kissed you for that bet probably.”
“Oh. I don’t really remember much from after that kiss..” Gavin explained, giving her a sheepish look.
Meg rolled her eyes, of course Gavin hadn’t been listening. That still didn’t explain where this had come from though. “Why did you ask? What does this have to do with you and Michael?”
Gavin looked even more sheepish, not looking at Meg as he mumbled his response.
“I thought Michael wanted to ask Lindsay out.”
Meg burst out laughing, she just couldn’t help it. “You what? Why?”
“Well, like they’re so close! And the way she whispered to him in the car that night! Plus when I left here on Friday, I found them standing close together and I don’t know, I thought it looked intimate.” Gavin really didn’t think his assumption was that far of a stretch.
“Gav, people could say the same about you and me, given how close we are. Plus, on both those occasions I know for a fact they were talking about you.”
“What? Why?” Gavin didn’t believe he was interesting enough for other people to discuss.
“Well, the night we went out, Lindsay was teasing Michael about how willing he was to kiss you. Then on Friday, Michael was concerned about you considering you basically stormed out of the office and they were trying to figure out why. Linds said that when he realised you’d gone home, he was ready to go straight over to your apartment, but she suggested he give you time.” Meg explained, smiling at Gavin’s reaction.
“He wanted to follow me home?” Gavin said, sounding bewildered and so in love that it made Meg feel nauseous.
Meg rolled her eyes again. “Yes, of course he did. Now tell me what happened between you two. Lindsay said she didn’t hear from Michael after she dropped him off at your house on Saturday. You didn’t kill him did you?”
“Ah, no he’s very much still alive. We just uh, didn’t get a chance to leave the apartment all weekend. We were busy.” Gavin said, desperately trying to hide the blush that was spreading on his cheeks.
“Oh my god, you guys banged!” Meg yelled, earning an immediate look of distress from Gavin, who desperately tried to shush her.
“Wait, how did you get from confused moping to banging? Did he give you a reason for all the kissing?” Meg asked, knowing she’d literally have to fish for every piece of information from her best friend.
“Um well, apparently the reason he was kissing me was because he thought we were dating? Like he thought that we’d both just silently agreed that we were together, except like, that wasn’t what happened because only he was aware of this.” Gavin said, still not really believing how ridiculous it sounded.
“Oh my god.” Meg let out a frustrated, yet fond sigh. “Only you two. So what happened? Did you sort it all out? I mean I assume so, if you banged.”
“Yeah, he actually asked me out. Plus like, I told him I loved him. But that was before he’d even explained what happened; it just kind of slipped out in frustration.”
“Did he say it back?” Meg asked, sounding like she already knew the answer.
“Yes, quite a few times.” Gavin said, blushing again.
“You know what this means Gavino? Double dates!” Meg exclaimed, grinning up at Gavin as he groaned. It wasn’t like the four of them didn’t spend a majority of their time together anyways, so she knew it wouldn’t be hard to convince the other two.
Jus