Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

In the domain of royalty existed countless rules, spoken or unspoken. Always walk with a high head, lest high-ranking passersby whisper mockingly amongst themselves. Always bow when in the presence of one with a higher status, lest others dub you an uncouth commoner lacking etiquette. Always offer the members of the royal family only the highest praise and subservience, lest you be seen as a deviant agent of disorder.

At the age of ten, Tsukishima Kei was not receptive to such trivial niceties. He liked to slouch and scoff. He liked to use his height to look down on the other young knights-to-be, despite their family's longer history within the palace. Akiteru would scold, and Kei would dismiss.

"The only difference between us and the royal family is that their clothes are laced with more gold than ours, and all of a sudden we have to obey their every word," he said to his older brother (but perhaps not as eloquently). Akiteru sighed.

"That's just how it is, Kei."

On a tranquil summer day, ten-year-old Kei met another boy.

He was haphazardly practicing his sword strokes outside the palace. Just moments ago, Akiteru had scolded him for not exerting enough effort in his pursuit of knighthood.

On the plush grass, Kei rehearsed his form. Swish, swish, swish, as the wooden sword cut through the wind.

Stupid Akiteru, he thought to himself, not noticing a small figure watching him from a short distance. Kei whipped around, preparing to strike the air, and stopped short when his wooden sword almost collided with the poor boy's head. He immediately stood straight and put down his sword.

"What are you doing? I could've hit you," he rebuked.

The little boy sheepishly rubbed his head. He seemed about the same age as Kei, but Kei easily looked down at him. From his head sprouted locks of dark veridian, a small cowlick shooting up from the top like a lone flower in a sea of grass. 

Freckles.

"Sorry, I got distracted..." the boy mumbled shyly. He reminded Kei of a mouse. "Are you training to be a knight?"

"Yeah."

The boy perked up, eyes suddenly sparkling. "That's so cool!" he exclaimed. 

Kei looked away, unsure what to reply. He was not an expert in the business of compliments and praise. "Uh, yeah, I guess."

"I wish I could learn how to use a sword," the boy sighed. "Knights are so cool..."

"You're not a knight?"

The boy shook his head.

"Then what are you?"

"U-uh, I'm a...servant's son!" the boy replied, then nodded vigorously. "Yes, a servant's son!"

Kei narrowed his eyes at him. "Yeah, a servant's son."

The green-haired boy swayed awkwardly in place with his hands clasped behind his back. He lightly tapped his foot on the grass.

"So...what's your name?" the boy timidly inquired. 

"Tsukishima Kei."

The boy inexplicably beamed. "That's a long name."

"I guess."

"I'm Tadashi!" 

Kei hummed in acknowledgement. Tadashi.

Tadashi stood, grinning up at Kei. For some unknown reason, Kei felt that he couldn't look at his face.

"Oh, uh, don't let me stop you from practicing! I hope you don't mind if I just watch from afar," Tadashi said.

Kei internally groaned. "Just don't get too close. It won't be my fault if you get hit."

Tadashi nodded vigorously again and took a dramatic step away from Kei. Kei bent his knees, sinking into a fighting stance. 

Swish, swish, swish. The tips of a few blades of grass snipped off and floated away.

Kei looked back at Tadashi, whose mouth had fallen open. The boy's hazel eyes seemed to hold Kei still like a magnet. When was the last time Kei had felt such wonder?

Kei ripped his gaze away and looked down at the wooden blade in his hand, flipped it over and back. 

"I'll teach you," he mumbled. From the corner of his eye, Tadashi's head tilted to the side.

"What did you say?"

Kei gritted his teeth.

"I said I'll teach you."

His face felt strangely warm. He ignored Tadashi's yelps of joy and turned back towards the palace.

"Come on, you need to get a training sword." Kei walked off without waiting for Tadashi's reply, but heard excited footsteps chasing after him.

Thus began their dual training sessions. For multiple days a week, Tadashi would appear at the knight training grounds when the other knights in training had already left, and Kei would begrudgingly instruct Tadashi on best swordfighting practices.

Tadashi was not particularly graceful with his movements. He struck with a hesitance, a refusal to slice with full force. If he were a knight in training, he likely would have been sent home, not for absolute lack of skill but for an inability to embrace aggression.

Good thing he's just a servant's son, Kei thought sarcastically.

"You make it look so easy," Tadashi whined, slumping his shoulders. Several months had passed since they first began training together, and Kei was still no better at responding to such comments. He merely shrugged.

"We've been at it for hours, and I'm starving," Tadashi said. "Can we go get food?"

Kei nodded, and they stalked off to the kitchens together, scouring for leftover bread and butter. 

"So good," Tadashi said in a muffled voice, his mouth full of unchewed bread. Kei curled his lip in disgust.

"It's stale bread," he dryly replied.

"Everything tastes better when you're hungry," Tadashi stated resolutely. He continued to devour the bread.

Kei shook his head slowly, feeling the corners of his mouth involuntarily rise. He took a small bite of his bread. 

Yup. Stale.

And so, besides training together, they began eating together. Kei's days were increasingly dominated by Tadashi's presence. After training, they would scavenge for food that had long become stale and then return to more training. For someone as decidedly lazy as Kei, he had certainly subjected himself to a lot of work. He was not necessarily the kindest mentor, either.

"That's not how you do it."

"No."

"Do it again."

Tadashi never complained. He would nod along and try again and again and again. 

Again and again and again they trained. Again and again and again they ate. Again and again and again they spent days together.

Days and weeks spent together morphed into more months. As time passed, Kei noticed yet another recurring theme.

The two of them had finished training for the day, and Kei had started walking away to look for Akiteru and spend the rest of his day studying what he had learned in arithmetic earlier. He paused when he heard familiar footsteps trailing behind him.

"You don't have to follow me around all the time," he said to Tadashi one day.

Tadashi's stature deflated. "Well, I guess...but I don't really have anything else to do..."

Kei stayed silent. Not my problem.

"Does it bother you? Me following you around?" Tadashi asked with wide eyes and a borderline pout.

Kei stared at his face for a few seconds before looking away. Freckles.

"No, not really," he mumbled. "I just think there's probably better stuff for you to do."

Tadashi animatedly shook his head. "Spending time with you is fun, Tsukki."

Kei sputtered before quickly regaining his composure. That's new, he thought, because he could not think of anything else.

"T-that's good," he stammered. He turned around, not letting Tadashi see his face. "Well then, let's go."

Tadashi obediently followed.

As Kei pored over his books next to candlelight, Tadashi sat beside him, swinging his legs that did not reach the floor back and forth. Kei would dip his quill in ink, scribble notes, review, dip again, write more notes. Tadashi looked up at the ceiling as if in thought, not saying a single word as Kei studied. The only sound in the room was the squeak of the quill against parchment.

Dip-

Kei sighed. He had dropped his quill.

"Do you mind picking up my quill? It's under your chair," he asked Tadashi in monotone.

Tadashi jumped in his seat, and his eyes snapped from the ceiling to Kei.

"Huh? Oh, sure."

He leaned over in his chair, head grazing the ground, as his eyes searched for the quill. Kei thought he saw Tadashi pause, but Tadashi quickly recovered and lifted his head, stretching his quill-holding hand out.

Rather than holding it by its shaft, he was dangling it by the feathers.

Kei elected not to comment on his strange grip and silently took the quill. It did not concern him.

"Thanks."

Dip, scribble, review, repeat.

Despite Kei's indifference to Tadashi's personal struggles with writing utensils, future similar events would explain Tadashi's strange behavior around the quill as they continued to spend time together. Once, Tadashi had accidentally ripped a small hole in his shirt, and Kei offered to patch it up. As Kei threaded the needle back and forth through Tadashi's shirt, Tadashi stood awkwardly at a distance farther than normal. Only once the sewing equipment was safely packed away in a small box did Tadashi return to his usual position next to Kei.

When Kei once suggested taking up fencing, showing Tadashi what a saber looked like, Tadashi immediately launched himself backwards, adamantly shaking his head.

"I think our current training is enough, Tsukki," Tadashi rationalized. 

"Don't ever let me near that weapon ever again," was what Kei could hear underneath.

So he's afraid of sharp things.

Kei never mentioned fencing again.

While the two unlikely friends continued to train and spend time together, years had silently slipped by.

As the two transitioned from childhood to adolescence, Kei began seeing Tadashi less and less frequently.

"My parents need me around more," Tadashi had vaguely explained, before leaving Kei alone after a rigorous training session. For the rest of the day, Kei felt strangely bare without the familiar presence behind him.

They were no longer the ignorant ten-year-olds they were when they first knew each other. Just as Tadashi, freshly sixteen, was beginning to feel the growing responsibilities of maturity, so too did sixteen-year-old Kei have to grow accustomed to the reality of knighthood. Besides his academic lessons in reading, writing, and arithmetic, his active training in swordfighting, horseriding, and hunting, Kei was being introduced by Akiteru to the world of nobility and high society.

"Remember to bow when they see you, Kei," Akiteru constantly reminded.

Kei had been defiant against such tedious performances as a child, but his developing mind was calculating the most efficient ways to reduce trouble and maximize idleness. He soon learned that acquiescing to social norms prevented future petty squabbles regarding his uncouth behavior. He would stand tall, he would bow, he would serve, but only out of laziness for having to face the consequences of refusal. 

Regarding his swordsfighting, Tadashi had been steadily improving over the last few years. He stood stronger, gripped the sword confidently, and slashed with purpose.

Kei watched him strike against a dummy. The dummy wobbled in place like a top, struggling to find its balance before tipping over. Tadashi turned to face Kei, a smug grin on his face.

"That dummy is sooo dead," he boasted. Kei huffed, forcing the corners of his mouth to stay still.

"Just wait until you have to fight a moving target. Then you're dead," Kei retorted. Tadashi rolled his eyes.

"Whatever."

He picked up the dummy from its fallen position and set it back into place. 

"Well...I should probably go. I have things I need to do," Tadashi reluctantly said. Kei nodded. Tadashi made no move to leave.

Kei cleared his throat and faced away from his friend. "I feel like I rarely see you anymore," he mumbled. It seemed like only yesterday when they were ten and sparring unskillfully with each other every day.

"I know," Tadashi sighed. "I'm sorry. I just have a lot more responsibility now. I'll probably be seeing you even less in the future."

Kei nodded again. Why was he so bad at coming up with words to say? 

"Have you gotten any assignments as a knight yet, Tsukki?" his friend asked.

"No," Kei answered. He stared into his open palm, covered in calluses. "Akiteru's been telling me to try to become a royal knight, though."

"Is that so..." Tadashi said quietly.

Kei shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me. I'd honestly rather not have the pressure of being one."

Tadashi laughed, a gentle and graceful sound. "Of course you of all people are too lazy for the position everyone else would die for, Tsukki."

Kei chuckled, but then masked the sound with a cough. It was strange to hear that sound come from him. He heard grass ruffling underneath Tadashi's footsteps and looked up to find him returning his wooden sword to the training equipment rack.

"Thanks for today, Tsukki. I'll see you around." And then he was gone. Alone, Kei stared at where his friend had been moments ago. His footsteps were still embedded in the green grass.

"See you, Tadashi," Kei whispered under his breath.

They were seventeen now, and it had been three full weeks since Kei last saw Tadashi.

Ever since Tadashi's seventeenth birthday had passed, he was nowhere to be seen. It had been a modest occasion, with Kei humbly gifting him a botanical encyclopedia. Tadashi had accepted with vigor. The two shared a meal of bread, butter, and potatoes, and then Tadashi was whisked away by his duties.

Kei refused to admit it, but his days passed by more slowly than usual after Tadashi's birthday. He would train by himself, occasionally turning to check his friend's form on instinct, only to remember his friend was not there. His review sessions were much quieter without Tadashi's interjections and random observations. Eating alone was a silent affair. 

As he traveled around the palace by himself, he sometimes could see clusters of servants hauling spinning wheels to and fro, and frantically transporting other miscellaneous sharp objects from time to time. Other times, he could smell smoke wafting through the hallways of the palace. Following its source led outside to the landfill, where hills comprised of discarded spinning wheels burned to oblivion. He wondered if Tadashi was among the servants scurrying around the palace to contribute to the sacrificial pile of spinning wheels.

It had reached a point where Kei actively sought Akiteru's company. He would ask Akiteru to critique his form as he trained, if only to overcome the silence of training by himself. 

"Your shoulders are tense," Akiteru said, arms crossed and standing several feet away from Kei. 

Kei stood up from his bent-legged stance, wiping sweat off his forehead with his arm. "Right," he acknowledged absentmindedly. His shoulders were still not relaxed.

"Maybe you should take a break. It seems like you have a lot on your mind," his brother suggested. Kei did not need to be told twice. He tossed his practice blade back onto the rack and stretched his limbs, fatigue setting into his muscles. What was Tadashi doing in this moment? Was he helping around the palace? That is, if he were truly a servant's son. Tadashi had still clung to that story despite its obvious fabrication.

"What's got you so worried?" Akiteru asked, breaking Kei out of his trance. "You're so distracted."

Not knowing why, Kei blushed and turned away. "Nothing."

He could feel Akiteru's skeptical eyes glaring into him.

"Stop looking at me," Kei grumbled. "I said it was nothing."

Akiteru sighed, but Kei felt his gaze fall away. "So irritable," he could hear his brother complain, but said nothing in retaliation.

"Kei," Akiteru suddenly called, voice much more assertive. "There's something you should know."

Kei turned his head to face Akiteru, but truthfully, he did not care to listen to what Akiteru had to say.

"The royal family is considering you as the prince's personal knight." 

At this, Kei's eyebrows raised.

"What? Why me?"

Akiteru shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe your skills caught their eye. Either way, you should prepare yourself in case they choose you."

Kei really did need that break now.

Standing awkwardly in silence, Kei pondered the prospect of becoming a royal knight. It was a role that other knights desperately desired, but Kei could not feel any such passion. Being a royal knight equated to more pressure, responsibility, and, worst of all, work. He would much rather stay as a lowly knight whose only duty was to stand around the castle uselessly. And whose brilliant idea was it to suggest him to the royal family? He had never even seen any of its members, much less harbored any positive or protective instincts towards them. The only knowledge he possessed about the Yamaguchi family was that they had a son his age.

If being a knight was already so tedious, Kei could not imagine just how dull and tiresome being a prince would be. Having to interact with even more nobles and perpetually maintain pretentious facades seemed an utter nightmare. Kei would rather gruesomely die on the battlefield.

The subject of Kei's potential promotion did not resurface until two Tadashi-free weeks later, totaling five weeks since he had last seen the freckled boy. Kei had exiled himself to his room, looking at but not reading the words in his book. He had already read the words "It is always better to avenge dear ones than to indulge in mourning" five times, and he still had not processed their meaning.

Seriously, where has that idiot been... He read over the words again. They still left no impression on him.

Who in their right mind would ask me to be a royal knight? His pupils shifted from left to right over that same sentence.

When Akiteru interrupted his distracted trance with an unceremonious slam of his door open, Kei was surprisingly relieved.

"Kei...you're being summoned by the king."

Kei's body suddenly stood up on its own, book long forgotten. He was tempted to escape through the window, but he would rather not have to experience his head being crushed by the impact of the fall.

His legs did not seem connected to his body as he followed Akiteru to the palace's throne room. What the hell am I doing?

For the first time in a long, long time, Kei was nervous. His hands were growing clammy, and his heart was thudding heavier than normal. The terribly long journey to the throne room did not help matters; he felt that some unknown higher being was mocking him.

When they finally reached the throne room, Kei froze. 

He could fit his own room ten times over into this room, and still have space to spare. From the impossibly high ceiling hung enormous chandeliers, crowded with bewitching structures of gold that Kei feared would eventually snap and crush him. Besides the chandeliers, the ceiling was adorned with multiple grand paintings depicting different scenes: elegant angels gazing upon humans, a beautiful young prince with green hair kneeling to receive his crown, and the same prince deep in sleep as he lay on a bed double the size of Kei's. Next to the sleeping prince was a nebulous figure who extended a hand to caress the prince's face.

Looks a bit like Tadashi, Kei thought. 

Kei turned his attention to the throne, intending to examine the intricate gold embellishments framing the plush maroon velvet, when the sight of what lay in front of him paralyzed him. It was then that Kei truly believed that he was hallucinating, because standing beside the man sitting on the throne, who seemed at least fifty years of age, bespeckled in gold and donning an extravagant red crown, was the boy that Kei had not seen in five weeks.

"So, that's the boy you are requesting to be your guard?" the king asked in a deep, husky voice, while pointing a finger at Akiteru. Tadashi sighed.

"No, Father, the other one."

The king's eyes fell upon Kei's figure, who had knelt onto one knee but could not remember when. Kei did not register the gravity of being the subject of such a noble gaze, nor did he care. He stared only at Tadashi, who was looking at him with a soft red overlaying his freckles. Kei bit his tongue to stop himself from inappropriately blurting out the myriad questions in his head.

"Your name is Tsukishima Kei?" the king asked.

"Yes," he answered in a voice that was not his own, tearing his eyes away from Tadashi to maintain eye contact with the king. The king. He did not wish to be executed for not granting the king proper reverence.

Yamaguchi Tadashi, Kei thought. In his head, he sounded out each syllable, imagining how the shape of his mouth changed with each sound.

"Only with Sawamura's recommendation of you and the prince's personal request did I find it acceptable to consider you as a royal knight," the king explained. Kei nodded despite his failure to internalize a single word. Except perhaps "personal request."

"I trust Sawamura's judgment, but should you fail in your duties, I will not hesitate to remove you from your position, or even execute you if the situation requires it," the king stated. His voice carried across the vast room. Kei nodded. It was impossible to speak; his mouth had been sewn shut.

"You will protect the prince with your life. Your life is only a means to serve and shield the prince. As a royal knight and the prince's guard, you must always be prepared to die for the prince," the king commanded.

"Father..." Tadashi whispered in a strained voice. Kei could sense Tadashi's--Prince Tadashi?--gaze on him, could imagine his wide eyes begging Kei not to believe the king's words.

"Knowing this, will you accept your role as the prince's guard?" the king asked.

"Yes," Kei said. 

"Very well," the king remarked, voice much softer. "Then there is one other thing you must know. This is a command of the highest importance. No matter what, you must never let the prince near any spinning wheels or touch any other sharp objects, for that matter. If you fail in this, I will not hesitate to execute you."

Kei forced himself to swallow. It was certainly good that the king had not been there when Kei had made T--Prince Tadashi pick up that quill when they were younger.

"Yes, Your Majesty," he affirmed shakily.

The king unsheathed a sword from his waist, which Kei had failed to notice was there in his previous stupor. Elegantly brandishing the sword, the king let it linger by Kei's left shoulder, and then his right.

"I dub thee a knight."

Kei dared to look up. Prince Tadashi stared at him with a smile just barely visible. Kei smiled back.

Chapter Text

"I really wanted to tell you, I promise," the prince said.

"Mm," Kei hummed as offhandedly as possible. But you didn't.

"Don't be mad at me, please? You were so happy earlier," his freckled menace of a friend whined. 

Kei glared sideways at him. 

"Look, it was just...nice being with someone who didn't treat me like a prince," Prince Tadashi admitted. "That's why I didn't tell you."

Kei remained silent and stubbornly turned away.

Why did he so readily agree to this position?

He felt a warm hand grab his wrist and drag him away. Kei barely processed that he was being kidnapped, focusing instead on the sensation of the prince's soft fingers against his skin.

"Come on," the prince said. "Let's stop thinking about this and train."

The two did not train. Instead, Prince Tadashi lay inelegantly on the grass with his hands cushioning his head, gazing up at the sky as yellow rays framed his face. Kei sat beside him, his crossed legs casting a slight shadow over the prince's face. Their training blades were strewn to the side, forgotten.

"It's so nice to have a moment to relax for once," the prince sighed in content, closing his eyes and soaking in the last bits of sunlight. 

"Seems like they're putting you through the wringer," Kei commented, staring at the sky as it began its transition from a blazing orange and lilac to a cool cerulean.

Prince Tadashi huffed with furrowed brows. "Don't get me started. My education is already so boring, but now they've been adding on random information about various noble families and individuals that I'm supposed to know. I really couldn't care less."

Kei rolled his eyes. "You're so dramatic. That's what I have to do, too." 

"Hey! I wasn't finished. Not only are my classes boring, but they're also crazy difficult. How am I supposed to know the perfect policies that will least likely incite the peasants into rebellion? There's also all the etiquette lessons, which I think I'd rather stab myself to death than take, not to mention this stupid upcoming ball that I have to prepare for! I have more important things to worry about," the prince wailed, throwing his arms up in the air and shaking them with each complaint in emphasis. Kei raised an eyebrow.

"A ball?" he inquired plainly. The prince opened his eyes to look at Kei, nodding.

"All the kingdom debutantes are supposed to show up in a couple of weeks, and I'll need to find a future queen," the freckled boy explained. "It's more out of tradition than anything; my parents have already arranged my future marriage since I was a kid." At the last sentence, he averted his gaze, hands finding a patch of grass to pick at. 

Kei's stomach flipped. He wordlessly watched the ripped blades of grass float away with the breeze. "Marriage?" 

The prince closed his eyes again and sighed, still blindly picking at the grass. "They want me to marry a princess from another kingdom. I think her name was Yachi -- Princess Yachi Hitoka."

"Hm," Kei said curtly. "And you can't choose anyone else?"

The prince's hand paused over a fresh patch of grass. "It's for the good of the kingdom," he muttered. "I have to do it."

Kei frowned. That doesn't seem very fair, he thought, but outwardly nodded, despite his friend's inability to see him.

Prince Tadashi sighed for the third time, letting his right forearm fall over his eyes. "Sometimes I wish I could just run away...Wouldn't that be nice, Tsukki?" he breathed.

Yes, it would be. "Perhaps, but you shouldn't...Your Highness," Kei answered, stumbling over the honorific.

The green-haired boy beside him suddenly flung his arms away from his face and stiffly sat up, eyes wide open and staring at Kei. Kei whipped around to face him, eyes just as wide.

"Did I say something wrong?" Kei asked. His friend sported a subtle frown.

"Why are you calling me that?" the prince demanded. "Just call me Tadashi, like before."

Kei gritted his teeth and shook his head. "I don't think...It's not right for me to call you that anymore."

"Says who?" the prince challenged. Kei frustratedly clenched his eyes shut.

"Basic etiquette."

"I thought I just said I don't care for all that nonsense," his friend scoffed. "Didn't I say earlier that I don't want you to treat me like a prince?"

"But you are a prince."

"Yes, I'm very aware of that."

Kei opened his eyes to find his friend still staring at him, his shocked expression now one of pleading. Kei looked away again.

"I don't know, I just feel uncomfortable treating you so informally...It's not right," Kei repeated to himself.

"Fine. As the prince, I'll allow you to call me 'Tadashi.' Is that better?"

Kei shook his head again, unable to find the right words. It's not right, he repeated in his mind.

"At least call me 'Yamaguchi' then. Please."

The prince's face remained tense, the corners of his lips downturned, and his eyebrows tilted upwards in anxiety. His hand gripped tightly onto Kei's arm. In seven years of friendship, Kei had never seen him look so upset. Perhaps it would be better to just grant the pleading boy this small accommodation. 

"Well...okay. But when other people are around, I'm still going to refer to you as a prince," Kei acquiesced. 

Yamaguchi released his grip, but his face barely relaxed. Kei could sense that he was not fully satisfied, but this compromise would have to suffice. Yamaguchi returned to the ground and faced the sky again, darkness now encroaching on the warm hues.

"I never took you for such a stickler for the rules," Yamaguchi snarked. 

"It saves you a lot of trouble when you're surrounded by sticklers," Kei replied, still looking at his princely friend. The sunlight that previously adorned his features disappeared, a calming blue now enveloping his face and freckles.

"Whatever," Yamaguchi dismissed. He pointed an arm to the sky, where stars faintly began to reveal their presence, and thin dark clouds started to accumulate. "That cloud looks like a crow."

Kei shifted his gaze to the cloud formation Yamaguchi was pointing towards. "No, it doesn't. You should get your eyes checked."

Being the prince's personal guard in actuality meant following the prince around for the whole day. Such a task entailed sitting with the prince during each meal, standing guard during any official meetings, watching over the prince at all times...most of it was stationary work, so Kei could not complain too much. He even had a partner guard whose duty was to stand guard over Yamaguchi's room at night so that Kei need not devote all twenty-four hours to service.

"I'm Hinata Shoyo!" a short, brightly orange-haired boy squeaked when introducing himself as Kei's partner. Kei grimaced.

"Pleasure," he replied with distaste. "I'm Tsukishima Kei."

The other knight was hopping side to side on the tips of his toes as he spoke. "This is just so exciting! I never thought I'd be one of the prince's knights!"

"Yeah, I can see why," Kei grumbled under his breath. Perhaps agreeing to this responsibility was a bad idea. "Well, I'll leave the prince in your care, then."

Hinata vigorously nodded, inciting within Kei a fear that his head would launch out of his neck from the sheer eagerness of his movements. "Okay, okay!" Kei highly doubted that Yamaguchi would be able to sleep, but nevertheless, he left Yamaguchi to Hinata's uncontainable energy.

"Thanks, Hinata," Yamaguchi said. Kei began to walk back to his room, prepared for a fulfilling slumber. 

"I'll scare off any night monsters, Yamaguchi!" Hinata boasted. Kei's steps briefly faltered, but he quickly regained his footing. 

"Good night, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi's voice called out. 

"Good night, Ya--Your Highness," Kei replied stoically. The words tasted sour on his tongue.

As he lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, Kei reveled in these precious moments of respite. So much talking today, he internally groaned, letting out a long sigh. He thought back to the short fool he had just met. Kei was still the prince's main guard; should any threat appear at night, Hinata was ordered to call for Kei first, and then engage. Yet Kei still sensed a prick of concern: could Hinata really be trusted with Yamaguchi's life?

I'm sure the king knows what he's doing. He wouldn't approve of Hinata if he weren't absolutely sure of his skills, Kei reassured himself. Still, this would be a lot easier if I only had my own capabilities to worry about.

With a small prickle of unease, Kei warily allowed sleep to pull him into unconsciousness.

When he awoke, he could faintly smell smoke. More spinning wheel burnings.

After begrudgingly dragging himself out of bed and preparing for the day, Kei walked towards Yamaguchi's room, finding the same short guard from yesterday vigilantly guarding the door. When Hinata saw Kei approaching, he enthusiastically saluted, provoking Kei to internally groan.

"Good morning, Tsukishima!" Kei had to hold himself back from covering his ears. 

"Yeah, yeah, good morning," he grouchily replied.

'I guess it's time for me to go! Should I wake up Yamaguchi?" Hinata offered with a blinding smile. Kei narrowed his eyes.

"No, I can wake the prince. You should go rest." If Yamaguchi hasn't already woken up from your screeching.

Hinata vigorously nodded and saluted again. "A good day to you! Farewell, Tsukishima!" Kei could not even force himself to politely reciprocate the farewell, allowing himself to drown in the relief of seeing the orange hair fade away. When Hinata was no longer visible, Kei turned to the door, standing awkwardly still. It was probably most polite to knock first before barging in, right?

Knock, knock, sounded the door in the most timid display of knocking Kei had ever performed in his life. As the seconds passed with no response, his heart thumped heavily. 

Kei knocked again, this time more assertively, but there was still no response. He groaned and wrapped a hand around the door handle, feeling sweat on his palm. Here goes nothing, he thought as he trepidatiously opened the door.

The prince lay peacefully on his bed, face relaxed and arms lying on top of his chest. Kei could see his chest slowly move up and down with his breathing. Silently, Kei stood in place, inexplicably refusing to wake up the prince. He could feel a soft ache pinching his heart. It seemed he was having a few heart troubles today; perhaps he should consult one of the castle's doctors.

Kei shook his head, freeing himself from his sudden trance. He walked towards the bed, eyes never leaving the prince's sleeping figure. Rise and fall. Kei raised a hand over Yamaguchi's shoulder, preparing to shake his shoulder, yet hesitated midair. 

Is this really okay? he asked himself. Nevertheless, he eventually lowered his hand to the prince, feeling the contours of Yamaguchi's shoulder as he softly shook the prince awake. 

"Wake up, Yamaguchi," Kei said quietly. He saw as Yamaguchi's eyes fluttered open and his head drowsily turned towards Kei.

"Tsukki," Yamaguchi sleepily greeted before yawning out, "Good morning."

Kei felt a fuzzy warmth spreading throughout his chest that he hastily suppressed. "Time to wake up. You have more dancing lessons and ball preparations today."

Yamaguchi grumbled. "Can I just go back to sleep?" he asked, but sat up in his bed, looking up at Kei. The corner of Kei's lips involuntarily perked up.

"Just get your lazy butt ready for the day."

As with every other day, Kei's main duties for the day consisted of standing and keeping watch over the prince. During Yamaguchi's dance lesson, Kei stood against the wall of the vast, empty ballroom and watched as the prince followed the teacher's instructions. His eyes followed as Yamaguchi's hand delicately held onto the instructor's, and the other wrapped itself around her waist. He watched as Yamaguchi's feet lightly stepped across the floor, gracefully following the teacher's lead, the perfect picture of elegance.

Although Kei's duties were easy in theory, he began to understand why the prince had been complaining so often about feeling bored. The rest of the day passed in a blur, and Kei could not recall a single memorable lesson.

It was the familiar smell of smoke as they walked around the palace that broke him out of his lethargic state.

"Have you always been afraid of sharp objects?" Kei asked as he glanced out the window to see a burning pile of wood.

The prince raised an eyebrow at him. "Who told you that?"

Kei looked back at Yamaguchi with furrowed brows. "Both your reaction anytime something sharp is near you and the fact that your father literally told me when he appointed me."

Yamaguchi faced forward again, not looking at Kei. Hesitating, he said, "I'm not actually afraid of sharp things--at least, I wasn't in the beginning."

Kei did not reply, waiting for his friend to continue. Yamaguchi looked back at him.

"Ever since I was a kid, my father's been telling me to stay away from needles and spindles," the prince explained. "He always told me to stay away from the maids in case they had sewing needles, and other crazy paranoid stuff. Hearing that for your entire life primes you to be paranoid of anything remotely sharp."

"Why did he tell you to avoid needles and spindles?"

Yamaguchi shrugged. "He never told me, but I figured he was telling me all these things out of concern, so I never bothered to defy him. The one time I asked, he said he would explain everything after I turned eighteen."

"That's not too far from now," Kei observed, and Yamaguchi nodded. 

"I've never even left the castle before, because he can't control what I encounter outside the palace," Yamaguchi revealed, laughing humorlessly.

"It's nice in the castle, at least," Kei offered, unsure how to comfort his friend.

"The castle is too stuffy," Yamaguchi said. "I'd give anything to leave for a day, not having to be coddled by my father for once."

Kei nodded but could not find words to reply. Yamaguchi sighed, inviting a somber silence to settle between the two. They continued walking side by side.

Interrupting the silence, Yamaguchi asked, "Are my reactions really that noticeable?"

Kei scoffed. "Like a cat with its hair standing on end." 

"This is like a negative birthday gift," Yamaguchi lamented as the maids assembled his royal attire. Kei rolled his eyes.

"It's just one night. You can handle it," he retorted. "Besides, your birthday isn't until a few days after."

"Wait, when's your birthday, Yamaguchi?" Hinata's grating voice asked. That's Prince Yamaguchi to you, Kei thought, opting to glare at the ground before him rather than at Hinata.

"The tenth," the prince answered, speaking above the flurry of maids as they wrapped his torso in a silk vest. 

"Happy early birthday!"

"Just wish him a happy birthday on the actual day, idiot."

"I'll do whatever I want, Tsukki!"

"Don't call me that."

Yamaguchi's delicate laugh interrupted Kei's annoyance with the orange-haired squirt, directing his attention back to the prince. With the maids having finished their assault on Yamaguchi, the two knights finally had a clear view of the prince. Staring at Yamaguchi, draped in a royal black silk jacket and a black vest, both embellished with gold patterns, Kei's mouth suddenly dried up.

"Whoa! Looking good, Yamaguchi! I bet all the princesses will fall for you!" Hinata exclaimed. Kei found that words would not come out of his mouth, so he awkwardly cleared his throat in hopes it would restore his speaking ability.

"You look...good, Your Hi--Yamaguchi."

Yamaguchi chuckled shyly and rubbed the back of his neck. "Thanks, guys...Let's just hope I can survive this whole night."

The ballroom that had been once empty during the prince's many dance lessons was now filled to the brim with nobles from within the kingdom and from afar. The guests all arrived in luxurious clothing that Kei would never dream of being able to wear. He could see Hinata's eyes scanning every noble, ogling their sophisticated attire and mannerisms. His gaze seemed to pause on a tall young man with obsidian-black hair and a piercing blue stare. 

Kei thanked the heavens that he was a knight, for he could not imagine having to navigate the social games of such a crowd for an entire evening. Perhaps he had been too harsh on the prince earlier. 

Against the backdrop of the orchestra's elegant performance, the chatter of the nobles, princes, and princesses reverberated and echoed across the vast room. Kei stood next to Hinata against the wall, sensing his mind drifting off. 

"So many beautiful nobles," Hinata commented distractedly. Kei was absolutely unsurprised to find him still staring at the noble from earlier. 

"I wonder how Yamaguchi's going to choose," Hinata continued. Kei rolled his eyes.

"It seems like you've found someone quite easily, despite the large number of options," he said. Hinata tore his gaze away from the noble, a very obvious blush prominently painting his face. 

"Shut up!" Hinata exclaimed in embarrassment. 

"You shut up," Kei replied. "Just do your job."

Hinata opened his mouth to no doubt make a ridiculous reply, but was cut off by a booming voice.

"Please welcome the crown prince of the kingdom of Miyagi, Prince Yamaguchi Tadashi!"

The chatter immediately fell into a hush.

At the top of the main staircase stood the prince. All eyes were on him, including Kei's, as he slowly descended. Some noblewomen and princesses began to scurry around, fighting to stand near the prince when he reached the bottom. 

Yet, when Yamaguchi reached the end of the staircase, he appeared to have already chosen one. Kei watched as he walked forward without hesitation until he reached a short, golden-haired princess. The prince bowed and extended a hand towards the princess, who sported an extremely anxious expression as she reluctantly accepted.

"Yachi Hitoka," he whispered under his breath, ignoring the way Hinata looked at him in confusion.

Time seemed to move more slowly as the two bowed and curtsied to each other. As Princess Yachi slowly placed her hand in the prince's proffered hand, the entrance of a soft, andante orchestral number signaled the start of the dance. Everyone watched as the two royals waltzed around the room. They danced with elegance and grace, beauty and nobility, yet neither their expressions nor their movements denoted any pleasure. Far from his typical warm smile, Yamaguchi's face was grim, as if dancing pained him. Princess Yachi seemed equally somber, donning a pair of drooping eyes that refused to look at her partner. 

All Kei could see was the contrast between Yamaguchi's green and Princess Yachi's blonde hair.

The sound of awed applause woke him from his trance. The prince and princess stood in the center of the ballroom. The crowd that had surrounded them during their dance began to break formation as noblemen sought out noblewomen to dance with, accompanying the prince and princess's lonesome performance.

Another dance? Kei thought in irritation, as if it were not something he had been expecting. He did not want to be here to watch.

"I...need some fresh air," he notified Hinata. Without waiting for a reply, Kei left his post.

It was much quieter outside the lively ballroom. He wandered around the various hallways, attempting to avoid other guards on duty outside the ballroom, until he stumbled into an unlit hallway devoid of guards. Lingering in the dark corridor, Kei slapped a hand onto his head.

What was he doing? The prince needed him on duty. What if something dangerous coincidentally happened right when Kei wasn't there to help? And yet, somehow, the thought of going back into that disgustingly bright ballroom made him feel sick.

He began to pace again. He needed to walk it off. It was preposterous for him to let a small queasiness prevent him from completing his duty to the prince.

Making his way further down the hallway, the sight of light coming from the crevices of a closed door stopped Kei. He knew it was nowhere near his place to be curious, but he had already deviated from his responsibility tonight. Another deviation couldn't hurt much more.

Walking closer to the closed door, Kei could hear muffled voices emanating from the room.

"...be at the ball, Your Majesty?"

"...fine...the queen is there...spinning wheel situation?"

A pause. Kei bristled. He pressed his ear against the door.

"I was under the impression that you were all working hard to dispose of every spinning wheel in the palace, and yet every time I hear of your successes, I then hear that you have missed a few. Must I make an example of you to demonstrate the urgency of this mission?" the king's voice rebuked.

"I promise you, Your Majesty, we are doing everything we can to dispose of them...yet, somehow, every time we burn every spinning wheel in the palace, new ones keep appearing...Your Majesty, we truly do not know what is happening, or what to do."

There was more silence, and then a sudden bang! caused Kei to flinch. He heard the servant let out a short gasp.

"What am I going to do?" the king implored. Unlike the sharp slam, his voice trembled with defeat. Kei could imagine him sinking his head into the table.

"...Your Majesty, may I humbly implore the source of your distress?"

"That is not for you to know," the king sternly answered. 

"O-of course, my king...If it has to do with you or your family's safety, why not leave the palace for a few days until whatever plagues you is no more?"

The king stayed silent for a moment, as if pondering the possibility.

"But the palace is the safest place...but if I send him to a forest...somewhere away from civilization..." he ruminated.

After a few moments of consideration, the king said, "As well of a suggestion it is, I am afraid the safest place is here in the palace. If finally allowed out of the castle, who knows where my son may sneak off to..."

Kei ripped his head away from the door. He felt like throwing up for some reason. What began as an attempt to comfort himself made him feel even more uneasy. 

He had thought the king's burning of the spinning wheels was merely some delusional paranoia, but the hopelessness in the king's voice suggested that something incredibly sinister was after Yamaguchi...

Kei shook his head. He needed to go back to his post and just ignore whatever he heard. It clearly wasn't meant for him to hear, anyway. They would all find out soon enough after Yamaguchi's approaching birthday.

As he retraced his steps back to the ballroom, he heard two voices echoing throughout a nearby hallway. Instinctively turning his head towards the noise, he caught a glimpse of two young women, one blonde and one raven-haired, walking together and whispering to each other. The blonde woman seemed familiar, yet Kei had trouble seeing her face from afar. When she let out a dainty laugh, throwing her head back, Kei saw that it was Princess Yachi.

Are they done dancing? he absentmindedly asked himself while he found his way back to the ballroom. He continued to ignore the sinking in his stomach.

Finally returning to the ballroom, the attendees were still dancing amongst themselves, but the prince was nowhere to be found. Walking back to his post, Kei saw Hinata in conversation with the black-haired noble he had been ogling earlier. When Kei returned to his position, Hinata paused his conversation.

"Oh, you're back! Here, let me introduce--hey, are you okay? You look a little pale."

"I'm fine," Kei automatically replied, yet subconsciously wiped at his face. "So, who is this?"

His mind instantly lost focus as soon as Hinata began introducing his new friend, whose name was apparently Kageyama Tobio. Kei distractedly nodded along while searching the room for a familiar green head. He just needed this night to be over.

A sudden hand on his shoulder startled Kei into consciousness. 

Kei turned to find that the hand belonged to the very person he was searching for, sporting a tense smile.

"Yamaguchi! I was just introducing Tsukishima to my friend, Kageyama!"

"Hello," Kageyama greeted blankly.

While Yamaguchi politely returned the greeting, a wave of overwhelming relief washed over Kei so intensely that he thought he might keel over. Yet, staring into Yamaguchi's tense expression, the pit in Kei's stomach remained, undeterred by his relief. He was really going crazy tonight.

The rest of the night passed by with dancing and conversation. After he had made his way to Kei, Hinata, and Kageyama, Yamaguchi never left their side, despite the longing glances from nobles seeking a few seconds with the prince. At some point, Kei had seen Princess Yachi and the mysterious black-haired, bespectacled woman return to the ballroom, but elected not to inform the prince of her return. He seemed to have enough on his mind.

Only when many of the attendees began filtering out of the ballroom to return home did Yamaguchi pause their conversation. 

"I'll be back," he promised. His air was much gloomier than it was when talking with the three boys. 

Watching Yamaguchi's retreating figure walk towards the blonde princess, Kageyama said, "He seems very unhappy."

A prick of irritation bloomed in Kei's stomach (his stomach was really going through it today), but he managed to stay civil as he said, "The prince has a lot on his mind."

From his peripheral vision, he could see Kageyama turn towards him, but Kei chose to continue watching the prince and princess exchange their farewells. 

"Take care of him, Sir Tsukishima."

Again, Kei felt an impending sense of dread flare up inside him.

"Of course," he replied.

Finally, with all the nobles and royals gone, the palace was at peace once more.

Right before the door to his room, Yamaguchi abruptly stopped. He turned towards Hinata and Kei. Kei was unnerved by the prince's unreadable countenance; perhaps a mix of determination and sorrow.

"I'm running away from the palace," he stated resolutely.

"What?" Kei incredulously interjected.

"Just for tonight," Yamaguchi explained. "But I don't think I can stay in here tonight."

"Why not?" Hinata asked with wide doe eyes.

Yamaguchi shook his head. "Too much."

As if taunting him, the king's defeated voice rang through Kei's head, assaulting his senses.

"You can't," Kei said with a desperation that he could not explain. Yamaguchi gazed at him with a hard stare.

"I don't care if you let me or not. I'm going, or else I'm going to go insane."

"You don't get it," Kei choked out, flailing for any way to make him see reason. "You don't know what's out there. It's dangerous, and I--I have a really bad feeling about this."

"I'm serious, Tsukishima. I'm going," Yamaguchi firmly asserted. "It's just for tonight."

Kei felt something piercing his heart. He opened his mouth, scrambling to find words that would convince him to stay.

"Please," his friend begged, his eyes suddenly soft and glassy. "I need this."

Gazing into his best friend's pleading eyes, Kei closed his mouth.

"Okay," he capitulated. "But I'm going with you."

Yamaguchi, for what seemed to be the first time that night, revealed a full smile. Something was constricting Kei's heart.

"That's what I had hoped," Yamaguchi sighed in relief. "Thank you, Tsukki."

Nodding absently, Kei faced Hinata. "You stay here. No one can know that he's not in his room."

Hinata agreed with an anxious expression.

"Stay safe, please," he implored.

"Don't worry, Hinata. As long as Tsukki's with me, we'll be fine."

Even as the excited smiles Yamaguchi passed his way while they maneuvered their way outside of the castle would fill Kei with a subtle warmth, he still felt a perpetual unease settling within his heart. When they miraculously reached the stables without being discovered, Kei almost stumbled as he mounted his horse. On the other hand, Yamaguchi was bursting at the seams with excitement.

"This is my first time ever leaving the castle, Tsukki!" he whispered giddily. 

Kei smiled, reminded of a young ten-year-old boy who excitedly watched as he trained with a sword. He reached out his arm, lifting the hood on Yamaguchi's cloak to cover his head. 

"Well then, you'll need to be discreet enough so that you can do it again," he lectured lightheartedly.

The moon dangled high in the sky, illuminating the kingdom just enough to see their surroundings. Normally, Kei was already asleep at this time.

Grabbing the reins in his hands, Kei asked, "Where to, my liege?" Yamaguchi leveled him with a playful glare.

"Anywhere."

Creeping past the unsuspecting guards, the two fugitives made their way into temporary freedom.

I should probably be concerned at how easy it was to get past them, Kei thought sarcastically, but a sudden pang of dread almost made him stop in his tracks. To distract himself, he gazed upon the midnight-lit trees and looked down at the stone-paved roads that gradually transformed into gravel roads. It, too, was his first time outside the palace.

Without a predetermined destination, Kei followed Yamaguchi's lead, who appeared to be traveling along the road until something interested him. As they were traveling, the prince's head had swiveled back and forth, taking in as much of the unfamiliar scenery as possible, bathing in the feeling of a breeze brushing past as they journeyed further into the night. After half an hour of uninterrupted travel, Kei could see a small town coming into view.

"There's a small town up ahead," he informed Yamaguchi.

"Let's check it out!" his friend eagerly suggested, looking brightly at Kei.

"Sure. But, just so you know, most people are likely already asleep by now."

"That's okay."

As they reached the entrance to the town and left their horses at the communal stable, Kei's prediction proved true. Among the sea of dark, unlit houses, only a few shops and homes were still lit inside by candlelight. Navigating through alleyways and roads, Kei felt an unfamiliar sense of awe. He had never seen such small buildings before, only having experienced the vastness of the palace. These homes seemed impossibly small in comparison, and yet he felt drawn to them.

Finally, Yamaguchi paused, a particular store having caught his eye. Looking closer into the window display, it appeared to be a goldsmith shop. The blurry candles flickering behind the glass seemed to call Kei inside.

Yamaguchi had different ideas, for he began walking towards a nearby open bookstore. Kei stayed in place. His friend looked back at him, as if beckoning him to follow, but Kei shook his head.

"I'll be with you in a bit. Go on inside," Kei encouraged.

With a shrug, Yamaguchi entered the bookstore. Once his figure disappeared, Kei turned back to the goldsmith shop and opened the door.

The warm yellow glow bathing the shop contrasted the night's cool atmosphere. At the sound of the door opening, the shop owner lazily raised his head, likely exhausted after a long day of business. Ignoring the owner's monotone greeting, Kei ambled around the small shop, glancing over each product. Various artifacts of silver and gold glimmered and reflected candlelight. As beautifully crafted as each item was, they couldn't hope to compare to the craftsmanship and quality of royal jewelry.

Yet, a particular item shone brighter than the rest. Inching closer, Kei saw that it was a brooch, shaped into a rose. He gently picked it up, gazing closely at it.

It was useless, unoriginal, and something that most princes would never give a second glance at, but Kei bought it anyway.

Inside the bookstore, Kei found Yamaguchi perusing the shelves, shuffling through book pages before placing the books back to their original places. Sensing Kei behind him, Yamaguchi turned to face him.

"Buy anything?" he asked.

"No," Kei lied.

Yamaguchi gave him a lopsided smile, and Kei's stomach lurched. "Not much luck here, either. Want to leave?"

"Alright."

Retrieving their horses, the two boys continued on. Kei could feel the weight of the golden brooch in his satchel.

They had wandered around some more, stopping at another town, before they began following paths and signs and found themselves by a grand lake. Leaving their horses to feed on the plentiful grass nearby, the two boys took off their shoes to dip their feet in the water as they sat by the lake's edge. 

"Thank you again, Tsukki," Yamaguchi said, his voice somber compared to his previous excitement.

Kei turned towards him. With bent knees, Yamaguchi's head lay on his forearms, and he stared morosely into the water.

"As long as you had a good time," Kei responded.

Yamaguchi said nothing, which placed Kei on edge.

"What's wrong?" Kei prompted.

Yamaguchi chuckled, a sound so sad and defeated that Kei could feel his heart clench. "I don't get to complain. My life is so easy compared to everyone else's."

"Just say it," Kei said. You can tell me. You're still a human, he wanted to say.

Yamaguchi's eyes were a mix of anguish and frustration. 

"It seems like such a small issue, but I don't know how I'm going to live the rest of my life with someone I don't want to be with," he confessed. "When I was younger, I had always thought that my confinement would end once I turned eighteen, but in reality, it was just a gateway to another cycle of imprisonment. I just want to be able to fulfill my duties while being able to live my own life."

Kei watched as Yamaguchi began picking at the grass. He had no idea what to say.

"Yamaguchi..."

Yamaguchi shook his head. "It's fine, don't pity me. I know there's nothing to do about it. I just wanted to tell someone for once."

"No matter how bad things get, I'll always be here," Kei reassured. "That's why you picked me to be your knight, isn't it?"

Yamaguchi chuckled. "Maybe partly, but I didn't just pick you only for me. Even if I liked how it was when you didn't know I was a prince, it also felt fake at times. It's not fair to call you my closest friend if I'm always hiding from you, is it?" He turned towards Kei. "And the simplest reason is that you are a good knight. I know I can feel safe with you."

Only when he felt Yamaguchi's breath tickle his face did Kei realize how close the two of them were. Surprised by the newfound proximity, Yamaguchi's eyes beautifully widened. Without realizing it, Kei's hand had lifted from the ground and moved slowly towards Yamaguchi. If he wanted to, he could pull Yamaguchi by the chin and...

Kei quickly leaned back, looking anywhere but into Yamaguchi's eyes. His heart was pounding heavily. What the fuck was that?

He could hear rustling where Yamaguchi sat, but refused to look in his direction. He needed to calm down. It was just Yamaguchi. No need to make things uncomfortable, especially for the prince.

"Let's, uh, take a walk. How does that sound?" Yamaguchi breathed out, standing up and putting his shoes back on. Swallowing deeply, Kei nodded, and too stood up.

While lacing up his shoes, Kei's mind irritatingly wandered back to the moment just a few minutes ago. Yamaguchi--the prince, had been so close to him, and he liked it...no, he wanted him to be even closer...

Stop making things up. It was normal, Kei reprimanded himself. Finally finished with his laces, he stood up, ready to walk with Yamaguchi.

No.

"Tsukki, are you coming?" Yamaguchi's voice called out, much farther away than it should be.

"Tsukki, is everything okay?"

Kei felt as if he had been plunged into ice, yet sweat pricked on his skin.

In the distance, surrounded by lush trees and meadow grass, a lone spinning wheel stood. 

The memory of the king's sorrowful voice overwhelmed Kei's brain. 

No, no, no.

"We have to go," he urged.

"Huh?" Yamaguchi questioned, affronted. "What's going on?"

"We need to leave. Now." 

Not waiting for the prince's agreement, Kei dragged him to his horse and helped him up despite Yamaguchi's protests.

Quickly, Kei mounted his own horse before grabbing the reins to Yamaguchi's horse and maneuvering it away from the forboding spinning wheel. Kei followed.

Against the wind, Kei could hear Yamaguchi's pleas for clarity, but he did not respond.

I'm so stupid. I should never have let him leave the castle. I may have just doomed him. He had known that it was dangerous, yet let him leave anyway. Kei gritted his teeth. Idiot, dumbass, stupid piece of shit. If anything happens to him, it's on you.

After what seemed like hours, the familiar outline of the palace finally came into view. 

Imitating the stealth they had demonstrated while they prepared to leave, the two returned their horses to the royal stables and infiltrated the castle. Before they reached the prince's room, Yamaguchi yanked Kei into an empty room.

"What the hell was that? I thought you were joking at first, but you're seriously scaring me now," Yamaguchi demanded.

Kei shook his head, more towards himself than in response to his friend's question. "I don't know. Something is not right out there. I think the king is right; you need to stay inside until everything is known."

Yamaguchi sharply retracted his hand from Kei's arm. Looking up, Kei saw the hurt framing Yamaguchi's face.

"Are...are you serious?" the prince asked, incredulous and pained.

"Yamaguchi, you don't understand. There's something dangerous out there," Kei explained in a panic. He couldn't tell Yamaguchi the truth. It would scare him from ever feeling safe again, from ever believing in freedom again.

"I thought, after everything I just told you, you'd..." Yamaguchi said, as if the words stumbled out of his mouth. 

"Everything will be fine after your birthday," Kei reassured. Was he comforting Yamaguchi, or himself?

"I...need to go." The prince turned to leave the room.

Kei followed him. Just until his room, he told himself. What if something happened in the short interval between this room and Yamaguchi's?

Something was most definitely wrong if Kei could tangibly feel relief at the sight of Hinata standing by Yamaguchi's door. Catching a glimpse of them, Hinata's slouched posture perked up.

"You're back," he cheerily observed. His smile dropped when he took in their expressions. 

"Did something happen?" he asked.

"No, everything was fine," Yamaguchi answered, too quickly. "Tsukki was just about to go back to his room."

Kei opened his mouth, feeling the need to explain his paranoia. Yamaguchi whipped towards Kei.

"You're going to sleep, aren't you, Tsukki?"

Kei closed his mouth. He nodded slowly.

Averting his gaze from Kei's eyes, Yamaguchi muttered, "Good night, Tsukki," then walked into his room and shut the door.

"Something definitely happened," Hinata pressed.

Without sparing Hinata a glance, Kei said, "Good night, Hinata."

In bed, all Kei could feel was the familiar dread that had haunted him the whole evening and night. The king was right to be paranoid. Nothing about the situation was normal.

While worriedly recounting the strange details of the prince's situation, Kei noticed an unfamiliar silhouette in the corner of his room. He squinted his eyes and waited for his vision to adjust to the blackness engulfing his room.

His heart stopped.

It was a spinning wheel, standing innocently in the corner.

Kei could feel his heartbeat quicken and his breathing become shallow. This could not be real.

He tried to look away to a different part of the room, only to find another spinning wheel where his eyes landed.

No, no, no, no, no. What the fuck. This isn't real.

Each time he diverted his eyes, a spinning wheel stood where he looked, as if taunting him. Spinning wheels filled his room until he couldn't breathe.

Stop, stop, stop--

Kei's eyes burst open to blinding sunlight. Realizing he was still in bed, he whipped his head to the side and looked at the wall.

No spinning wheel.

He looked back to the ceiling, covering his face with his hands and harshly rubbing his eyes. Just a nightmare, he comforted himself, yet the dread remained.

For the next few days, the same nightmare haunted Kei's sleep. Yamaguchi's cold shoulder towards him didn't help matters. Besides an awkward "good morning" or "good night, Tsukki," the prince clearly avoided speaking to Kei as much as possible. He politely refused Kei's offers to train together, citing other busywork as the reason. After the first two days of Yamaguchi's dismissiveness, combined with disturbed nights of sleep, Kei gave up trying to heal any awkwardness. He could only hope that the prince's birthday could finally bring some clarity and remove any tension between the two.

The day of Yamaguchi's birthday, Kei woke from another cycle of nightmares with a cold sweat. Sitting up in his bed and exhaling heavily, he looked at the table next to his bed. There sat innocently the golden rose, reminding him of his currently strained relationship with his best friend. Despite his concerns that the gift would be but a measly plaything compared to the prince's riches, Kei sank in relief in knowing that today would be the day the confusion ended. Yamaguchi would finally be free from the fear that controlled both Kei and the king.

Once Kei rose out of bed and finished preparing for the day, he picked up the rose and gently placed into a small pouch, then stored it in a pocket. 

He'll like it, won't he? he anxiously thought, feeling the weight of the precious metal against his skin.

With heavy steps, Kei made his way to the prince's chambers. The familiar path from his room to Yamaguchi's had been ingrained into his memory. As he walked, countless worries plagued his mind. What if their disagreement soured the atmosphere for the prince's birthday? Kei would hate to be the one to ruin what should have been a happy occasion. The prince had shifted from adolescence to adulthood, and soon enough, he would be married to a princess.

Married. In that moment, Yamaguchi's somber expression flashed in Kei's memory. To be married off so young, and so unsure...what was it like?

All these thoughts immediately disappeared when Kei saw the entrance to the prince's chambers.

Hinata was not there, and the door was open. 

Quickly, Kei traversed the remaining distance between him and the room, making his way to the doorway. Looking inside, Kei's heart dropped. The prince was gone.

Relax, they probably just went for a walk or something, he tried to convince himself, but the sinking feeling he was experiencing refused to leave.

Kei began wandering throughout the castle, searching for Yamaguchi and Hinata, when he heard faint voices coming from a nearby staircase leading to the floor below. The cellars. Without a moment to waste, he rushed toward the staircase, ignoring the prying gazes and abruptly paused conversations from servants around him as he fought not to trip. In the cellars, the voices grew louder in volume. Following the noise, Kei eventually saw a crowd of servants milling into a room that he had never entered before; in fact, he didn't even know the room existed.

Seeing the crowd and hearing the tensely whispered conversations, Kei could not shake the feeling that something terribly wrong had occurred, but he dismissed his apprehension. Using his height to his advantage, he initially attempted to see above the servants' heads into the source of the commotion, but to no avail. Cursing under his breath, he began to shove servants to make his way in. Beyond the sea of people, he could see paintings on the walls. They were the same paintings as those on the throne room ceiling, featuring the same green-haired prince.

He finally broke through the mass to see Hinata kneeling on the ground, holding an unconscious Yamaguchi. 

Hinata failed to notice Kei, rocking back and forth and mumbling under his breath, "I tried to stop him...I couldn't...I didn't know what was happening..."

"Hinata, what's going on?" Kei questioned, unable to block out the panic seeping into his voice. 

Don't worry, Yamaguchi's just sleeping. He's just trying to skip out of his duties because it's his birthday. That's something he would do. 

Hinata ignored Kei's question, only continuing to rock back and forth and shake his head as if in a daze. 

This is getting really fucking weird. Yamaguchi's just unconscious, right? He's not...he can't be...

Kei collapsed to the floor and slammed his hands onto Hinata's shoulders, shaking them forcefully. "Hinata, answer me! What the hell is happening?" he all but shouted. Hinata seemed to be in another world.

Behind Hinata, Kei could see some of the servants begin to disperse, revealing an object behind them. Kei's mouth fell open. His arms froze, his eyes widened.

In the center of the room, a spinning wheel stood tall, taunting him.

Chapter Text

On the tip of the prince's right index finger was a small trail of blood, matching the dried stains painting the spindle's point. Kei slammed his hands into Hinata, grabbing fistfuls of fabric and jerking the orange-haired boy's body around.

"How the hell did you let this happen? You were supposed to be there for him!" Kei spat. "Was his life just a joke to you?"

Finally broken from his daze, Hinata's glazed eyes returned to their sharp awareness. Immediately, tears began flowing down his face. He adamantly shook his head.

"He wouldn't stop! I kept trying to hold him back, but it was like something had possessed him! He just kept moving...and then..."

Without thinking, Kei wound up a hand to strike Hinata, but a nameless servant suddenly knelt in front of him.

"Sir, please! Do not panic! The prince...he's still alive! He's still breathing," the servant quickly explained. "However, he will not wake up...we do not know why."

"He might as well be dead, then," Kei scorned, but felt his body slightly relax. If Yamaguchi was still alive, there had to be a cure that could save him. 

Yet this reassurance was not enough to quell the nausea Kei experienced seeing the once enthusiastic boy in a state so lifeless. It seemed like an illusion. Just yesterday, he was still upset with Kei. Just yesterday, Yamaguchi was still awake.

The sounds of Hinata's desperate wails hardly registered in Kei's mind. What was he doing, yelling at Hinata like this? He had already known from the beginning that Hinata would not sufficiently protect the prince. How could Kei have let his guard down so much that he allowed himself to trust someone as hardheaded as Hinata? 

"You piece of shit," he muttered under his breath. "Useless, brainless piece of shit."

Carelessly shoving Hinata aside, Kei moved towards Yamaguchi's body. With a heavy hand, he gently held Yamaguchi's head, subconsciously running his fingers through the prince's emerald hair. Kei could not look away from him, even if looking at his body felt like twisting his heart until it tore apart. Kei lightly shook Yamaguchi's shoulder, an action that had become a habit for him during his time as the prince's knight.

"Wake up," he whispered, knowing that the prince could not hear. In his deathly slumber, what did the prince dream about? What imaginations were stealing the prince from the waking world, locking him in an eternal state of unreality?

The golden brooch weighed heavily on Kei's person. Without breaking his gentle caress of the prince's body, Kei took the brooch and attached it to his shirt. If he focused hard enough, he could see it move up and down with the shallow breaths of Yamaguchi's sleeping body.

I promise I'll find a way to save you, Kei thought. In the meantime, please dream only of happy things.

In his frenzy over seeing his best friend cursed to an eternal sleep, Kei had forgotten to worry about the king's first command. 

Hinata stood frozen, shoulders slumped and eyes wide like a living corpse. He seemed too preoccupied with the promise of execution to process the king's rebukes of failure and punishment. Or perhaps he was still reeling from the same sight that Kei was trying to forget.

"I thought the threat of execution should have been enough to scare you into protecting my son with your lives! But it seems that your incompetence overshadows your desire to save my son, and now he is cursed for eternity..." the king's voice exclaimed, sliding in and out of focus in Kei's ears. It was strange to imagine that Hinata would die soon. Despite the annoyance Kei felt at his presence, Kei had become so accustomed to Hinata's existence that having him executed would ruin what little sense of reality he still had left.

Besides, it was Kei's fault more than anything that this happened.

"Your Majesty, respectfully, it is I who should be punished, not Hinata. I was closer to the prince and his first personal guard, and yet I failed to protect him," Kei said before he could stop himself. He could see Hinata finally return to the world of the living and whip his head towards Kei. "If anyone should be blamed for the prince's... Please, execute me in Hinata's place, for I am the one who has doomed the prince. I should have..."

As he rambled on, he felt something drop onto his hand. 

Tears?

Seeing Hinata's shocked expression at his tears, Kei almost laughed. What right did he have to cry for the very person he cursed? What right did he even have to keep living when his best friend was now forever asleep?

"Do not expect such pathetic displays of emotion to sway me," the king snarled. Yet his gaze seemed to soften, ever so slightly, as he demanded, "Explain what happened."

Hinata bolted upright. "Your Majesty, on the eve of the prince's birthday, the prince was acting completely normally. Yet, at some moment in the early hours of dawn, he suddenly woke from his sleep and immediately began walking towards that unknown room in the castle's basement." The words stumbled out of Hinata's mouth, begging to be heard by the king. "I constantly asked him where he was going, but he seemed not to have heard me at all. After multiple attempts telling him to stop, I decided to physically pull him back to his room, but he would not stray from his path! I swear, I did everything I could to stop him, but he was like an immovable force!" 

The king listened with an unreadable expression. When Hinata finished, the king said nothing, staring gravely, distantly, at the floor. He seemed to be somewhere else entirely.

"You may leave," the king suddenly said, not looking up.

Shocked, Hinata and Kei stayed frozen in place. Sure, he said they were allowed to leave, but were they actually allowed to leave?

The king finally looked up. 

"Leave, or I will rescind my decision to spare you and have you executed immediately."

They did not need to be told twice.

As the door quietly closed behind them, Hinata turned to Kei. Hinata seemed to finally be recovering from his earlier shock.

"Um, thanks, Tsukishima. You didn't have to stand up for me..." he muttered awkwardly, looking anywhere but at Kei.

Kei reciprocated his avoidant demeanor, replying, "Don't thank me for that."

"Yeah..."

For a moment, they stood there, not exchanging a single word. 

"So, what are we going to do now?" Hinata timidly asked.

It was a good question. Given the circumstances, the two of them had nothing to do. How long would it remain that way?

Don't think like that, Kei mentally berated himself. There has to be a way. I just need to find it.

"You should rest," he suggested. "You've had a long night."

"And what about you?"

There has to be a way.

"I think I'm going to go to the library."

Whatever plan Kei had when he decided to go to the library did not come to fruition. He had begun by scouring the scientific encyclopedias and journals of strange illnesses and diseases, and when he was unable to find any relevant information, even searched the more suspicious, dubious journals for any clues on this strange illness that had befallen his friend. Minutes in the library turned to hours. When his legs began to tire, he would skim through the volumes on the floor, rigorously flipping through the pages. There was nothing.

Slamming the last book back into its original place on the shelf, Kei heaved a hopeless sigh. The moon hung high in the night sky, taunting Kei’s utter failure. He had just wasted hours of his night, and now it was extremely late.

Trudging back to his quarters, Kei racked his brain for anything else he could do. There were other sections in the library that he could search, but the only other loosely relevant area would be the magic and spirituality section, which Kei was very, very skeptical of. Besides, it would be mortifying to be caught browsing books spewing such nonsense as magical curses. 

But, considering the strange circumstances surrounding Yamaguchi’s slumber, perhaps Kei should have an open mind. Who knows, maybe magic could have been the cause…

When Kei stopped at his door, he shook himself out of his thoughts. He almost laughed. He really must be going crazy, if he was even considering the possibility of magic. He entered his room, resolving to come up with a new plan by next morning.

The next day, he went to the spiritual section of the library. 

It was just as embarrassing as he expected, even in the empty library. The workers of the castle had been quite scattered recently. After pardoning Kei and Hinata, the king had ordered all the palace medical practitioners to flock around Yamaguchi’s body, which had been moved to his chambers, all day and all night to attempt a cure. There had not even been a hint of a lead on the potential cause, but Kei had no choice but to trust in them. He had made a point not to visit.

Ever since the discovery of Yamaguchi’s body, Kei had not seen Hinata. The two of them were currently free from any orders, as their liege was no longer in need of protection at the moment. For a second, he wondered what Hinata was doing right now.

Kei returned his attention to the book in his hand, titled “A Guide to Curing All Maladies With The Soul.” He should have known from the moment he read the title that it would be a lost cause. “Every day before bed, one must spin in three circles before laying face up on the floor, so that their spirit may face the mercy of the heavens and become purified,” the top of the page said. Kei slammed the book shut. He had just spent three hours in this cursed place and actively lost brain cells in the process. As he carefully placed the useless book back in place, he saw a flash of movement in the corner of his eye.

He turned to see a familiar blonde head scurrying down the corridor, trailed by a few soldiers in foreign armor. What was she doing here?

Quietly leaving the library, he slowly went in the direction he guessed that she went. He traveled up the stairs and heard the click of a door closing as he reached the top. When he entered the floor, he could see at the end of the hallway two familiar doors, doors that he had been entering every day for the past few years, guarded by two unfamiliar soldiers. Perhaps the king wanted Kei and Hinata to stay away from the prince until their innocence was a fact of complete certainty. Kei’s stomach flipped, knowing that Princess Yachi was now inside Yamaguchi’s room, and he would not even be able to hear what she was doing.

Why was it that everyone but the very people that knew Yamaguchi best were surrounding him like a suffocating cage? Kei’s hands unconsciously tensed into fists. He could just see her small, pathetic figure, looking helplessly at Yamaguchi’s lifeless, barely-breathing body, see the tears trail down her face as she cried for someone whose brightness she would never be able to fully experience. It sickened him that someone who could not even be considered a friend was the first to visit Yamaguchi.

Then again, that was also Kei’s fault.

He stood there for an eternity before the doors finally opened, and the fragile figure of Princess Yachi emerged. Kei awkwardly looked around the room, unsure if he should stay or leave before the princess could see him. Before he could come to a decision, Princess Yachi walked up to him. 

Her current expression, frantically wide-eyed and pallid, as if all the life had been sucked out of her until only a manic husk remained, made her dejected demeanor at the ball seem pleasant. Looking at her, Kei almost regretted his resentful thoughts. Perhaps she really had loved him.

Kei waited for her to say something, but a chilling silence stretched between them, so he forced himself to greet her.

“Um, hello,” he said, his anxiety compelling him to completely forget his due manners and deference towards the princess. Yet, with how miserable she was, she had no ability to notice or care.

“A-ah, my apologies for intruding upon you. I just…I remember seeing you at the ball. You are the prince’s royal knight, correct?” Princess Yachi asked. Her eyes stared dazedly at some distant point in space, and Kei almost did not realize she was talking to him.

“Yes, I am.” He wanted nothing more than to leave the conversation.

“I see. I am truly sorry for the misfortune that has befallen the prince. He was…a very good man, who did not deserve any of this,” she said, her voice trembling at the end.

Kei felt a burning lump in his throat. His hands balled into fists again. She was the last person he wanted to hear about Yamaguchi from. He had nothing to say to her, so he let the silence fall.

The princess’s shoulders began to shake violently, and she bowed her head down.

“You must have been very close with him,” she sobbed out. “I cannot begin to imagine how terrible this must be for you.”

Kei could feel his body start to tremble all over. He gripped his right hand on his left arm, trying to stabilize himself, though it had no effect. 

With a deep breath, he replied, “I am sorry, Your Highness, but I must go.” He tried to ignore how strained his voice sounded. Wanting to leave as quickly as possible, his body automatically carried him towards the chamber doors, leaving a sobbing Yachi by herself.

Kei did not allow the soldiers guarding the room a moment to verify his identity, brashly opening the doors and entering the room. He needed to purify the room from Yachi’s presence. He needed to see…

After the door shut with a loud bang, the room fell deafeningly quiet. In the room now was just him and…

He was frozen to the spot. As the silent seconds passed, Kei could feel sweat building up on his neck. He couldn’t understand why his hands started to shake, or why he began feeling nauseous to the point that he might throw up right then and there, or why he physically could not move a step closer to the bed. From his point of view, there might not even be anyone in the bed.

With a hammering heart and ringing ears, he took a timid step forward. Then another. With each step, the bed was coming closer--

Before he could come close enough to see the body in the bed, Kei abruptly turned around and left the room as fast as he could. 

As he rushed down the hallway, he just barely noticed that Princess Yachi was gone. 

Only when he was back downstairs did he feel safe to rest.

Besides the odd job here and there, Kei spent most of his time in the library. Despite his pessimism, he continued to distractedly flip through other books, if only just to busy himself. He hardly considered himself a knight anymore. 

Other than the encounter with Princess Yachi, it had been weeks since he last spoke to someone else. Hinata could have long been dead, and Kei would be none the wiser. Occasionally, when he made his habitual journey to the library from his room, he could see Princess Yachi’s blonde hair somewhere in the distance, always going to or from the prince’s chambers. She had been staying at the castle for a while. Kei wondered when she would leave. On his way to the library this morning, he had seen her walking in his direction. She had looked up at him as if she wanted to say something to him, but Kei pretended not to notice her and walked past.

Now in the library, with only silence for company, Kei placed the book he was skimming face down on the table. The words had all melded together into a gelatinous alloy of ink, and his eyes were beginning to feel sore. If he closed them for a few seconds, he might not be able to wake up.

Thus, he sat as still as an old tree, facing one of the library walls, too lethargic to read and too guilty to sleep. He stayed in that position for many quiet seconds until a small shuffle behind him startled him to reality.

“Tsukishima?” Hinata called out, his timorous tone a jarring contrast to his signature cheerful voice.

The boy, like a little mouse, shyly scurried to Kei’s table and sat across from him. Kei was unsure whether to make eye contact with Hinata or not, so he decided to gaze at the corner connecting the wall and ceiling behind Hinata.

Twirling his thumbs, Hinata asked, “How are you?”

Kei shrugged.

Hinata nodded.

“Me too,” he sympathized. “These past few weeks have felt very strange.”

Kei wanted to hum in acknowledgment, but his throat blocked any sound from escaping. The silence stuck to the walls and flowed down like muddied water.

“It feels so wrong to be walking around in this castle,” Hinata whispered with a tremor. “He should be here, with us.”

His body began to shake, and tears streamed down his cheeks, marring the once lively boy’s face with an insurmountable sorrow. 

“It’s my fault isn’t it?” he wailed, cutting against the haunting quiet of the library. “I’m a terrible person.”

Hinata’s sobs pulled Kei’s throat taut, like a leash being pulled to its limit, not allowing any sound to pass. He could only shake his head. It’s not your fault Hinata, he tried to convey. The fault is only mine.

“Don’t be stupid,” Kei blurted out. He wanted to hit himself. He had tried to say something comforting, but all that could come out was this. Why couldn’t he just talk normally, without hurting his friends?

At least Hinata did not take offense, or he did not notice. The two boys sat there, Hinata’s cries the only sound shared between them. 

When Hinata left after half an hour passed, with Kei not having spoken a single word, Kei languidly arose from his chair. He moved as if his limbs were weighed down by stone, leaving the library and finding his way to a room he had not visited in a very long time.

It took a single knock for its dweller to open the door.

“Kei,” Akiteru said almost instinctively. The shock on his face almost spurred Kei to turn back and leave, but his brother immediately corrected his expression to one of warm, concerned neutrality.

“Come in.” 

Grateful for his brother’s straightforwardness, Kei promptly entered the room. He heard the click of the door closing behind him.

“I’m surprised to see you here,” Akiteru remarked. Kei gazed at a corner of the room, too tired to burden himself with maintaining eye contact. Besides, it was Akiteru. He was probably used to it.

“The books in the library were boring,” Kei mumbled. He could not remember the last time he spoke. He felt his fingers subtly twitching in jerky motions and crossed his arms to keep still. If Akiteru knew that Kei was intentionally speaking omissively, he did not feel the need to mention it. As Kei sat on his brother’s bed, Akiteru walked all around the room, tidying up various small messes and handing Kei a pillow to lean on against the wall.

“You’ve been reading? What for?” Akiteru inquired in his distracted flurry. 

Kei shrugged, even though Akiteru was likely too preoccupied to see it. He could feel his throat tightening, so he opened his mouth to speak, to keep his throat moving. Talk about the stupid books disguised as scientific reports, he thought to himself. Talk about how no one else but him ever used the library. But no words came out and all he could feel were streams of salt painting his face.

When Akiteru caught a glimpse of Kei’s face, he immediately rushed to his younger brother’s side. Without asking any questions, he wrapped both arms around Kei’s shoulders and held him close. 

Kei was simultaneously numb and grieving so much that he did not know how he was still alive. His body began to shiver uncontrollably. No matter how firm someone gripped onto him, there was no way to stabilize his body. His breath turned into hiccups, and he almost lost the ability to breathe. It was as if his body was dismantling itself at that moment, removing what little control he possessed.

As Kei cried, Akiteru said nothing, but rocked him to and fro. Rock-a-bye baby and whatnot. It should have embarrassed Kei, but truthfully he was grateful.

“I miss him, too,” Akiteru whispered. 

Right. Akiteru had also been alongside Tadashi as they grew up, hadn’t he? It was typical of Kei to only consider his own sorrow and forget that others were grieving as well.

As if he could hear Kei’s thoughts, Akiteru pulled him closer. 

“It’s not your fault, Kei.”

Kei shook his head against his brother’s torso, like grinding his brain against the wall. 

“You don’t get it,” he said, his voice physically unable to reach above a hoarse whisper. “He said I was a good knight. He was supposed to feel safe with me.”

“He did,” Akiteru reassured. Kei moved to reply in disagreement, but his brother pushed him back to face him and stared intensely into Kei’s eyes.

“Trust me, that boy never felt more safe than when he was with you. Because there was no one else who was more devoted to protecting him than you. You’re too harsh on yourself, Kei. If Tadashi had so much faith in you, why don’t you feel the same towards yourself?”

“Because his faith in me ended up getting him in this situation,” Kei murmured with an empty heart. He could not face his brother. “What good knight lets something like that happen?”

Akiteru adopted a smart smile, but his eyes held a more sorrowful sentiment. 

“What mortal being can contend with fate?”

Kei closed his eyes. 

“Don’t call it fate,” he pleaded. “I hate the idea that this is how his life was meant to happen.”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Akiteru explained. “I meant that there is no human on Earth that could have stopped it from happening.”

“...But I knew that it was going to happen,” Kei said. His body tensed as he revealed the truth, a secret that he had never divulged to anyone before.

“What?” Akiteru breathed out in shock, his grip on Kei’s shoulders relaxing.

Kei swallowed.

“I overheard the king talking about it before, and Tadashi telling me about how the king would force him to stay in the castle…It was almost like a prophecy of sorts. I knew…I heard the king talking about the spinning wheels. I knew it was something dangerous, but I…”

Kei recounted the memories of that night when he aided Tadashi in his surreptitious escapade into freedom. How could a memory as sweet as this become so tainted?

Akiteru listened with his utmost attention. When Kei finished, Akiteru shook his head.

“Look, I don’t know how any of that spinning wheel stuff happened, but I know that it still wasn’t your fault. You did what you could, Kei. And you made Tadashi happy. It’s not good to dwell on these depressing feelings for so long. Forgive yourself, Kei.”

Kei could only stare at the floor. There was some invisible weight holding his head down.

“I don’t know…What’s the point?”

“There’s always a point, Kei,” Akiteru answered, returning one of his hands to Kei’s shoulders. “I know it’s hard to see that right now. And I hate to say this, but…if there’s ever the possibility that--and I really hope it doesn’t turn out this way--Tadashi never wakes up…you’ll have to live through that. And that won’t be possible unless you forgive yourself.”

Kei knew his brother was right, but it was so easy to say that in comparison to actually practicing such advice. He had forgotten how his life had operated before he knew Tadashi. He could not recall his memories past their first meeting. Without realizing it, Tadashi had become a staple in his life, and coping with his sudden absence was like attempting to reread an old novel where the main character had been mysteriously erased. How could such a story move on?

Kei left Akiteru’s room in the same morose state, albeit with slightly more clarity on how to continue this story without its protagonist.

He began his walk back to his room but collided with another figure.

“I’m sorry, Sir Tsukishima!” the very last voice he wanted to hear exclaimed.

“It’s alright,” he grumbled. Not bothering to face her, Kei attempted to maneuver himself past her and rush back to his room.

“Ah, I’m sorry to bother you, Sir Tsukishima, but I…had something very important to tell you.”

“It will have to wait another day, I’m afraid,” he curtly replied, but Princess Yachi hindered his path.

“I implore you, honorable knight. It is of the utmost importance,” she insisted. Kei rolled his eyes and before he could stop himself, said, “I don’t want to--”

His eyes briefly met hers, and the words died on his tongue when he saw her expression, a mixture of defiance and despair.

He found himself whisked away into a vacant room. Once he regained his footing, he realized that he had been returned to the library, empty yet again.

“What do you want from me?” he spat, unable to hold back his resentment. Princess Yachi seemed undeterred by his hostility, distracted by something else.

“I know what happened to Prince Yamaguchi.”

Kei’s heart plummeted. A sweat broke out on his skin, clamming his hands. 

“What?” he asked dumbly, not registering any words that he spoke.

Princess Yachi whipped her head as if desperately avoiding Kei’s gaze. Despite his dumbfounded state, he could see her body trembling.

“He was cursed,” she whispered.

“Cursed?” Kei mindlessly repeated. “Why would--who would--”

“It was me!” the princess sobbed, dissolving into a mess of tears. The sweat on his skin froze.

“You what?” The disgusted words tumbled out in a low voice.

“I didn’t know what to do!” she struggled to cry out as she began hyperventilating.

“What do you mean, you pathetic--” Kei seized her narrow shoulders. His heart was vibrating and he was shaking from a terrible anger that he had never felt before in his life. He was not certain he could prevent himself from striking her. 

Princess Yachi was too lost in her misery to respond to Kei’s violent state. 

“I’m so sorry! I didn't know what would happen!” she cried. “I just wanted to keep my life. I was so scared.”

Kei released her. Acting rash and hostile would not help him understand.

“What do you mean? How did this happen?” he demanded coldly.

“It was some spell I found somehow when I was a child. I thought it was just a foolish hoax. I never thought it would actually come to fruition!” she wailed.

“Why would you try to perform the spell in the first place?” 

Princess Yachi held her face in her hands, the picture of broken anguish. “I just thought it would make me feel better. I thought it could make me escape that stupid, awful marriage.” Frequent hiccups and sniffles interrupted her explanations.

Stupid, awful marriage. Kei forced himself to regain his composure. His heartbeat gradually slowed and he sensed his breathing returning to a more stable rate.

“You wanted to escape your marriage with Tadashi?” he asked in a much calmer voice than earlier.

Yachi tried as elegantly as possible to wipe the tears from her eyes. When her efforts failed, she surrendered to her natural instincts and brazenly rubbed her eyes and nose, leaving patches of red on her fair skin.

“I…yes. I hated it. I just wanted to be free for once,” she admitted, almost as if she were talking to herself, as if Kei was not right in front of her. “If they wouldn’t even let me marry who I love, then I knew there was nothing they would ever let me do for myself.”

Kei remembered how Tadashi had sat next to him on the palace lawns and lamented the loss of freedom he would experience when he would have to fully embody the role of a prince. As Tadashi had been suffering, Princess Yachi had been enduring the same misery.

“I performed the spell before I had ever met the prince. If I had known him beforehand, I would never have dared to do such a thing, even if I never believed in the spell to begin with. After knowing what I have done to him, I can never forgive myself.” 

She stared blankly at the floor, a hollow shell of a human, a ghost that had already accepted her eternal punishment.

“If execution is the suitable punishment, I will gladly--”

“Whoa, wait,” Kei interrupted. Princess Yachi’s head jerked up, as if his voice reminded her that she had been talking to him.

“Forget the executions. Did the spell ever mention an antidote? Do you have the spell with you right now?” Guilt pricked at Kei for his insensitivity, but he had more important things to worry about.

“No, I don’t remember…I’m sorry. I don’t have it with me, either. I burned that piece of paper a long time ago. The only thing I can remember is that it was somehow related to true love. I thought it was ridiculous at the time, but anything could be true at this point.”

Kei’s body slumped into a deflated shape. The only possible lead he had, crushed to dust.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be of more help.” Despite standing in the room, Princess Yachi seemed more dead than alive. “Truthfully, what I wanted most was for someone to hear my confession before I eventually crumbled unde the weight of my sins. I must be the most pathetic creature in the world, no?”

Kei shook his head. He realized that being resentful towards her exhausted him and only made him more miserable. To think that this whole time, he had been adding to her torment. He was the pathetic one.

“During the ball,” he said, “you were with a black-haired woman.” Princess Yachi’s eyes widened at the mention of her companion. A rosy flush slowly colored her features, injecting life back into that half-dead physiognomy. He needed no elaboration.

“If there’s someone else for you, someone whom you truly love,” Kei said, “I’ll help you. I’ll help you run away with them.”

Yachi’s mouth opened, but she closed it immediately after and vigorously shook her head. 

“I couldn’t. I appreciate it, but I’ve accepted--”

“I mean it. If you’re living a life that other people have forced you into, then it’s not your life anymore, is it?”

Yachi was stunned into silence, but Kei could see that she was slowly becoming receptive to the idea. Perhaps it was something she had secretly wished for her entire life, but only now was she allowed to acknowledge it. She was another Tadashi, a young boy whose greatest wish had been to escape the castle for just one night, whose loved ones had failed to bring him the happiness he desperately desired.

“What human being can live like that forever?”

As Kei wandered without purpose around the palace, he felt like he was a new person entirely. The walls and ceilings were light years away, a separate realm from his existence. He was the lone figure in this world. His footsteps reverberated throughout the vast halls, echoing into his empty mind.

Over the past period, he had experienced so many emotions that they all negated each other, leaving only numbness. True love. Was such a utopian emotion even real? How could he use that to find a cure? Kei had already drained himself of his emotions. True love only existed as a mere fantasy.

Without realizing it, he had stopped in front of the throne room entrance. Entering was not an option, as the king was likely inside, but Kei’s feet refused to leave. In his memory, he could see the grand throne as he first stepped inside that room, completely in awe of its spacious luxury. Standing by the throne had been Tadashi, who beamed at him when he had become a royal guard. Above Tadashi were the majestic paintings on the ceiling, the green-haired prince its muse. Kei had initially viewed the paintings as mere flattery to illustrate the nobility of the prince, but remembering the details brought on a strange deja vu. The more Kei thought, the more he realized how similarly the paintings had paralleled Tadashi’s life. The painted prince graciously donning the crown of his kingdom. The sleeping prince with his blond princess sitting beside him on the bed, leaning closely, waiting for him to wake. No…not a princess. And he wasn’t leaning over the prince, but instead…

He was giving the sleeping prince a gentle kiss.