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The air crystallized in her lungs.
Each breath that came in was freezing fire, and each breath that went out was a cloud of frost. It stung. Sharp little daggers in her throat and chest. Snow felt more like quicksand bogging down her steps as it crunched underfoot. Her limbs trembled from exertion of it all.
Susie was so tired.
But she couldn’t stop.
Her golden eyes glinted like the dying rays of the sun, the last glimmer of warmth across the frozen wasteland.
“Tenna!” she shouted, cupping her hands around her mouth. “TENNA!!!”
Her hoarse voice rolled over snowdrifts and cut through the quiet. No one answered.
Susie shivered, hugging her jacket tighter, and wishing that it had some damn sleeves in that moment. She yelled again, and her voice rippled through the airwaves out into emptiness. Her throat burned and her chest heaved as she shouted again and again.
Wandering feet trudged through snow and ice, yet she found no sign of Tenna. He had to be here somewhere. Had he been buried in the snow? Why was no one else looking?
She frowned as she scanned the horizon for any of her other friends, but there was only miles of wintery hellscape.
Susie grit her teeth in frustration, curling her lips back into a snarl. She’d lost track of how much time she’d been looking, but it’d been long enough for her arms and legs to have gone numb. Her feet hurt. Her heart hurt.
But she couldn’t quit. She had to find Tenna.
I promised him… I promised I’d find him a new home… I promised he wouldn’t get thrown out. I gotta find him. I gotta.
She nearly slipped on a patch of ice, arms pinwheeling before she firmly planted her feet and caught herself. Her eyes burned, and she told herself if was from the icy gale mercilessly slapping her in the face. Frustration and the desperate hammering in her chest pushed against her throat. She… She had to find him. She couldn’t just leave him.
“TENNA!! PLEASE!!” Her voice was snatched away by the wind, and she screamed into it. Warmth trickled down her cheeks as she collapsed to her knees. The chill seeped through her pants and scales, but she didn't give a damn.
Tears were furiously scrubbed away. They came back just as quickly.
Susie drew her knees to her chest, breathing in harsh ragged breaths. She had to find him. She had to find him. She had to—
“S—Susie…”
She jumped. Snapping her head up at the source of the weak, glitchy voice. She saw nothing, but she was scrambling to her feet, carried on the wings of renewed hope.
“Tenna?! TENNA?!”
“Su—si—eee…”
“Tenna! Hold on! I’m coming!” She surged ahead a few paces, then wildly spun in place. “Gimme a shout! Where are you?”
“Be—hind… You…”
Susie startled. She spun around and nearly fell back on her ass upon seeing the hulking mass looming over her.
Tenna. He was alive. He was standing, but he was all bent and twisted. His arms were gone; nothing remained but sparking, oozing wires that dangled like strange vines. His screen was dark and cracked diagonally near the middle. An antenna was snapped clean off. He was hunched over, barely stable on his legs, and each breath he took rattled through him. A sickly miasma seeped from his vents.
He looked like complete shit. But he was alive, and Susie could work with that.
“Tenna! Dude! Holy shit,” she breathed, stumbling closer to him, and reaching out with trembling hands. Her thoughts tripped and tumbled over each other, but one thing was clear: Tenna needed help and fast.
“Holy fuck man, you look like crap… But that’s okay! I’ll fix you up! J-just tell me what to do, or—or we can go back to the others—I’m sure there’s someone who knows how to fix you.”
Tenna swayed in the wind, and the creaking groan of his body harmonized eerily with it. His screen tipped back toward the dark sky, revealing a gaping wound of wires and dark oil that spilled from his throat. The hair on the back of Susie’s neck stood straight up.
“You—ca-can’t fix—me.”
Tenna’s voice was jagged and cut sharp with interference. It almost hurt to listen to him, in more ways than one, and Susie couldn’t help the wince that curled her mouth. It was… bad, sure… but it wasn’t hopeless.
“I can! I-I’ll just—I’ll get duct tape and screws or whatever the hell else you need,” Susie said on a rush. “I… I’ll figure it out! Okay?! Just let me—”
“Y—you—p-p-promised.”
Tenna turned his blank display down toward her. Her own wide-eyed desperation stared back at her in fractured reflections. Tenna loomed over her, his tattered suit a deep, blood red. His screen glowed the same color. “You promised.”
Susie resisted the urge to back away at the harsh rasp. This was Tenna. Her friend.
“I know. I’m gonna get you a new home, okay? I just gotta patch you up—”
“You—you c—ca—an’t fix m—me.” Tenna fell to his knees, yet still he towered over her. His screen shone down on her like a beacon, harsh and judging. “I’ll n—never be—be f-f-fixed.”
“That’s a load of crap and you know it!” Susie snarled, squinting her eyes against the glare of his screen.
Tenna chuckled lowly. Static hissed and popped. A low hum droned and resonated in her head, pulsing in time with her heartbeat.
“I’ll—I’ll ne—never b-b-be fixed… Susie… I’m too b-broken.”
Blood red washed over Susie.
“You’re too broken to h—he—elp anyone. I’ll r-r-rot in the dump.”
Her heart roared in her chest. Her breaths were shallow.
“You promised. You promised.”
The words echoed around her, a cacophony of mocking laugher and desperate screams. They were all voices she knew, warped into a haunting amalgamation of noise. Susie stumbled back now, her hand desperately grasping for her axe, but it only closed on empty air. She swallowed thickly, staring at Tenna with a deep frown, her eyes pleading.
“Tenna—”
“You promised. Empty words-s-s—empty—empty promises—”
Tenna leaned so far he collapsed forward in the snow. He lay motionless for a moment, and panic seized her as she made to rush forward and help him, but he was lifting his screen. It had busted open completely from the fall. Dark, ragged shards of glass gleamed at her like a toothy maw, and black tar began to drip out of the gaping cavity. It hissed when it hit the snow.
“Empty promises…From—from an empty g—girl.”
Susie’s chest heaved, and she did something she wasn’t proud of.
She turned and ran.
“Broken girl.”
She ran.
“Lost girl.”
She stumbled.
“Mean girl.”
She kept running.
“Unloveable girl.”
Tears blurred her eyes. Ice froze her chest. She felt dizzy.
“They’ll all leave you. No one will want you. You’ll be cast out.”
Susie opened her mouth to scream at him to shut up, but she wasn’t even sure if it was Tenna anymore. All those voices were chasing after her, filling her head, twisting a deep knife into her heart.
“You’ll be thrown away. That’s all you’re good for.”
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up—!
Her foot caught on something, and she pitched forward into an icy cavern. Within it was a massive TV screen, cracked and splintered. She squeezed her eyes shut as her body shattered through the glass—
Susie shot up.
She expected to feel pain everywhere, see thousands of glittering shards of glass raining down around her, tipped red in her own blood, but all she saw was the gentle glow of the fake stars above.
Susie’s head spun as she gathered her own bearings. Inky black walls and deep shades of pink with golden accents. It was warm. Her breaths were shallow and wet, but they didn’t fog in front of her snout.
Her eyes slowly shut. She breathed a small sigh.
There was no icy landscape, no dark empty sky, just her room in the castle, with its badass spikes and a fridge full of snacks. Her dumb lookalike plushie sat nearby. Its black beady eyes stared her down, and she sneered at it.
Her sneer melted away into a scowl down at her hands.
It was a dream.
Susie blew out a sigh and flopped back into her bed. Right. A dream. Tenna was fine. They’d found him, and he’d been safe and whole for months now. He was happy.
He’s happy. You found him. You fixed him up with help. People came back for him. He wasn’t all… broken and alone. Susie squeezed her eyes shut, intending on taking a deep breath, but a broken screen and jagged glass jaws flashed in her mind’s eye, and she was wide awake.
Terror quickly gave way to annoyance, and Susie groaned loudly and flopped over on her side.
“This is so dumb…”
Tenna was fine! It was just a dumb dream. Stupid shit her dumbass brain was cooking up for some reason, just to be a jerk, she guessed.
Tenna was fine. He was probably in his own room, snoozing away. Battat was probably with him, so he wasn’t even alone! Tenna was fine.
Susie kept her promise.
The unease didn’t go, and try as she might, the images of Tenna’s broken body didn’t either. Worst part was, the dream stuff made her think of what really happened. Even if they’d gotten Tenna fixed in the end, that didn’t erase the terror and desperation leading up to that point.
Her brows furrowed and her hands curled into loose fists as her jerk brain replayed the memories of the rescue. Ice. Snow. Cold. That was all there, like the dream, but that was where the similarities ended. Susie hadn’t been alone. Everyone had come together in the end to help.
And unlike dream Tenna, whose broken form was hulking and twisted and maybe a little scary, the real Tenna had been none of those things.
He’d looked so… sad. So alone. So broken. Abandoned in the snow, limp and lifeless. A mess of severed wires spewing from his arms. His screen dark and cracked. He’d barely been lucid, crying softly, and weakly pleading and apologizing until he finally passed out. His thin, dying voice gasping out her name, Kris’s name, various members of their family, his friends. Anyone.
“P…ple…ase… do…on’t le…lea…ve… I’m…s-s…sorr…y…”
Rough as he’d looked, that hurt Susie worse than anything else.
Susie snorted out a frustrated sound and shook her head.
Tenna. Was. Fine. That was over now, and he was safe in Castle Town. He had a show. He had friends. He was happy. Susie kept her promise. She didn’t leave him broken in the snow. He had a home where he was loved.
With a firm huff. Susie settled back in bed and shut her eyes, willing away the shitty thoughts. She was gonna sleep. She was gonna have nice dreams that weren’t dragging up months old memories for no good reason. Susie was gonna sleep damn good.
Susie stared up at the ceiling.
She tried counting glow stars and gave up on that quickly.
She turned on one side. Her plushie glared her down so she huffed and turned on the other. The wall was dark and empty. Susie felt unease slither up her spine.
She turned on her back. Got to five stars before she grew bored.
Susie flopped and turned a few more times.
Finally, she sighed and got out of bed.
Whatever. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to check. Just to be sure.
The castle halls were empty, but Susie heard faint echos of laughter and voices talking further down. She pushed aside the unease caused by false memories of disembodied voices scorning her. These voices were happy. Alive. The castle was full of life. She relaxed somewhat.
Susie ascended the stairs to the second floor, passed Queen’s room, which was thumping out a steady techno beat, and reached the double doors of Tenna’s room. She stopped just shy of them and squinted her eyes, then knocked twice.
There was no response, but the doors slid open for her. Susie stepped inside.
Tenna’s room was lit blue from the hallway torch light, but as the doors shut behind her, it dimmed into warm shadows. She glanced around, pleased with how much Tenna’s room had come together since he first arrived.
It’d been pretty barren at first, with nothing but a podium and pretty wallpaper, but now it looked like a proper room. A dresser on one wall, a big full body mirror with sticky notes and fake antenna taped on top beside it. A vanity with various bottles and gloves scattered on top. There were a couple of bean bags on a fuzzy rug to the side of the bed. Various posters decorated the starry walls, and Susie snorted as she spotted a board with pictures pinned on it.
Finally her eyes landed on the bed itself, centered with the headboard against the far wall. She held her breath as she slowly stepped closer. Tenna’s massive form was sprawled out on the equally large mattress, an arm draped over his stomach, the other wrapped around a much smaller shape.
Battat was curled up against Tenna, looking unusually relaxed. His back was to her, and his face tucked into Tenna’s side. The blankets covered most of him, making him look snug as hell.
They looked… peaceful.
Susie almost breathed out, but she frowned and then peered at Tenna’s screen. It was tricky to study from her angle and with it facing the ceiling, but she was relieved to see that it appeared smooth and dark. No cracks or goop or anything else.
Feeling very stupid all of a sudden, Susie scuffed her clawed foot on the floor. What was she hoping to get out of this? Obviously Tenna would be fine. She knew that. What would seeing him change? Whatever. She’d dragged herself up here, she’d gotten a good look at Tenna, and shockingly, he was fine.
It was just a dumb dream.
Susie could go back to sleep and not think about how stupid this all was.
She stayed firmly rooted in place.
Her fists clenched and unclenched. Her heart hammered away in her chest. This was stupid. She wasn’t some scared little kid running to her parents after a nightmare. She’d never even gotten that luxury really… and it wasn’t like laying awake in bed after a bad dream was anything new for her.
But for some reason, she just… couldn’t move.
A part of her wanted to wake them up. She knew they wouldn’t mind, not really. Battat might act all grumpy, but she knew he didn’t really care. If she mentioned something about a nightmare, he’d be tossing a blanket over her head, pushing tea in her hands, and putting on a shitty movie in minutes. And Tenna…
The dork would get all happy and say something about a sleepover. He’d want to make a pillow fort or something, and Susie… well, she guessed she couldn’t say no to that. He’d cheer her up; his energetic and soothing voice would wipe away all those distorted memories. He’d be all warm, his static tickling her scales and making her hair stand up. He’d play her favorite shows and movies and reassure her that no bad dreams would get her while he was around.
It was dumb but so tantalizingly in reach. Susie could just… ask for that stuff, and it’d be right there for her. She chewed her lip, uncertainty heavy in her eyes. She couldn’t, though. What if she got used to all that nice stuff, and then it all got taken away again? Susie knew that was dumb. Her friends were here to stay, for good. But… anytime she thought that was the case in the past, it never ended up being true.
“Empty promises…From—from an empty g—girl.”
Susie sucked in a deep breath. She stayed another moment, staring at the two adults with sad resignation, then she slowly began to turn around. She didn’t need that anyways. She was gonna be a grown up herself sooner than later, might as well… act like it.
Susie’s foot caught and she pitched forward. Her knees were cushioned by something soft, but her hands hit the floor with a thud. Dull pain throbbed from where she made contact with the ground, but she pushed herself up, hissing out a quiet swear.
She tossed a wide-eyed glance back at the bed, but saw no sign that she’d disturbed either of the Darkners. She glared down at whatever she tripped on, and in the low light, she realized it was one of the old bean bags she’d brought in when they were sprucing up Tenna’s room. Susie huffed and rolled her eyes, and made to carefully step around it.
“Susie?”
She froze.
“Susie? Hey… didja need something, sweetheart?” Tenna’s voice was soft and thick with sleepiness, but so warm.
Susie took in a deep breath and turned to face him. She stared down at the ground.
“Hey man… uh, did I wake you?” she asked lamely.
“I’m not sure. I thought I heard a thump! Was that you?” Tenna asked as he sat up more, concern coloring his tone.
Susie swore in her head. “Yeah, that was me. Tripped on the beanbag like an idiot.”
“Oh no! Are you alright? Need any healing—?”
“Nah, I’m fine. I was about to go back to bed, so you can just go back to sleep or whatever…”
Tenna tilted his head to one side, giving her a funny look.
“You sure, Suza-roo? Why’re you in here anyhow? Not that I mind! But if you need anything, you know I’m happy to help! Whether it’s a laugh or extra slime, Mr. Tenna’s gotcha covered! (Quite literally, in the case of the slime.)”
“N-no, It’s fine. It’s dumb.” Susie began backing out, shame coloring her scales darker. “I’ll just go. Sorry for waking you.”
The door slid open for her, and the hallway light spilled in once more.
“Susie—”
“Mrggggh… wha’s goin’ on?” Battat groaned, thick and sleepy. “Is it time f’r work already…?”
“Oh! No, no, B. It’s just Susie! She needs something, but she’s bein’ stubborn!” Tenna huffed with a grin.
Battat blinked at her as he pushed himself up on an elbow.
“Susiezilla,” he greeted on a yawn. “Whatcha need, champ?”
“Nothing! I’m fine,” Susie grumbled.
Battat sat up all the way, rubbing his eyes but looking more alert as he studied her.
“Fine enough to come up here in the middle of the night?” Battat raised a brow.
Susie glared at him, but her resolve was crumbling.
“Well, something happened, and Detective Tenna is on the case! Did the pipes flood? Did someone throw up? Or is the kitchen on fire?! No, no that can’t be it, there’s no smoke.” Tenna was throwing out guesses like it was a gameshow, then he lit up and snapped his fingers. “Oh! I know! I bet you had a nightmare! That’s it, isn't it? Final answer!”
Susie deflated. She didn’t even know why she was making such a big deal of this. She sighed and dragged her feet back over by the bed. The door shut with a little jingle, now that everyone was awake, and Tenna’s screen glowed on her softly.
“Was I right?” he asked with a goofy smile, but there was an underlying concern that made Susie feel all mushy and dumb.
“Yeah. Yeah. You’re right.” Susie rolled her eyes, but she felt oddly small from the admittance.
“Oh! Well, that’s no good then. Want to talk about it?”
Susie studied him. The bright glow of his screen, the glass smooth and undamaged. His antennas were relaxed in a slight curve, the one slightly crooked where it’d snapped and been welded back together, but otherwise fine. One hand rested on Battat’s shoulder, dwarfing the Pippins and making him look a bit like a plushie. Battat watched her closely, the grumpy set on his mouth softened by the gentle slope of his brows. Susie shook her head.
“Not really… I dunno why I came here…”
“Aw, that’s alright, Susie! Did you want to sleep with us? There’s no shame in that!” Tenna said cheerfully. “It’ll be a sleepover! How about that?”
“Uhm… I dunno… Is that, like, cool…?” Susie shook her head. What was she saying? “I’m kinda old for that, right?”
“Who cares? Get in bed if you want,” Battat said, flopping back into the pillows, “keep it down if ya aren’t.”
Susie shuffled in place, glancing at Tenna, then at Battat, then at the floor. Finally, she started climbing up on the mattress. Tenna beamed at her. His tail probably would be wagging, if it weren’t plugged into the wall. He was so lame.
He pulled back the covers while Battat scooted over and patted the space made between him and Tenna. Susie awkwardly clamored into the spot, an odd feeling winding through her chest. Once she was settled, the blanket was pulled over her, and the bed jostled as Tenna settled back down on his side. His arm came around Susie and Battat, another layer of warmth and safety.
Susie laid stiffly between them, her fists at her sides, eyes fixed on the ceiling. She was warm, sandwiched between Tenna and Battat. Tenna’s low humming static was nice, comforting. She could feel the barest rise and fall of Battat’s back at her shoulder, and that was nice too. She was… safe.
Huh.
“Relax, kid! You’re stiff as a board,” Tenna chuckled, giving her a playful smile.
“Uh, right.”
Susie breathed in deeply and tried to do that, but she must have been doing a shoddy job, because Battat sighed and turned to face her. Susie blinked at him. This close, she noticed that he had faint scratches and scuffs on some areas of his head.
“Turn around,” he said.
“...why?”
“I’ll brush your hair if ya want.”
“Oh.”
Susie frowned but slowly turned to face Tenna. Her face smushed into his chest somewhat, and static tickled her snout. Tenna hummed and tugged them closer. Meanwhile, Susie felt gentle hands pet her hair, slow smooth strokes that turned into fingers carefully threading through strands. He didn’t tug or pull or even snag on a tangle once.
Tension bled from her muscles and she found herself melting into the mattress. She frowned but didn’t say another word as she let herself relax.
Tenna’s arm was heavy but in a comfortable way. The weight was grounding. Reassuring. His shirt was soft, and she could smell the tang of metal mixed with something sweet and earthy. Her hand curled into his shirt loosely.
Battat’s hands were soft and careful, and the light brushing of her hair felt nice. It lulled her into warm drowsiness, and when he began to hum a gentle melody, Susie’s sleepy fate was sealed.
Her eyes drifted shut, and surrounded by warmth and comfort, those bad dreams were nothing but a distant memory. They were all safe. She could rest.
Maybe it was okay to act like a little kid running to her parents, just this once. And… maybe it was okay to enjoy what she had.
