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“That’s some bullshit!”
Noelle had to suppress a giggle listening to Susie’s outcry, her body flaring into the air and nearly leaping off her couch, hands raised in disbelief as if she had lost a million dollars.
“Tsk tsk, Susan. A real gamer must remain composed in their victory.” Berdly retorted, proudly holding his gaming console in victory, shuffling further into his corner of the couch.
“Yeah whatever loser, you were real cool and collected when my Garchomp smashed through your puny team.”
A flush appeared on Berdly’s cheeks as Noelle’s baggage promptly started cackling, shaking with laughter in her arms. Kris was nuzzled up against her beneath her blue snowman sweater, their head peeking out mischievously.
Susie looked down at the two of them in amusement, “Is there a reason you two are on the floor instead of the cushions literally right next to you?”
Noelle looked at them expectantly. In response, Kris slacked even more of their weight on her lap, slipping their arms around her waist and leaning against her. They were unusually cuddly today, this was behavior usually reserved only for the two of them. Not that she was complaining, quite far from it.
“Erm, Kris is comfy, I guess.” Noelle said sheepishly, slipping a hand under her sleeve to pat their head. Susie shrugged, having deemed this an acceptable answer. Frankly it wasn’t even close to the weirdest things she’d seen Kris do. Berdly similarly dismissed the matter without hesitation. “Ready to admit defeat, Susan?”
Susie gleamed with a ferocious vengeance on her teeth. “Fat chance, birdbrains. I haven’t even gotten to use my favorite yet.”
“Oh really?” Berdly peeked over from his screen. “Who might that be?”
“Tyrantiar, duh? Awesome rock kaiju that kicks total ass and summons sand like it’s nothing. It’s way better than whatever your dweeby favorite is.”
Berdly put his console back in his lap. “I must concede that Tyrantiar is indeed a truly magnificent Pokemon. It’s a great choice. However,” He again pushed his glasses up for dramatic effect. “It would be no match for the legendary Zapdos. The dual Electric-Flying bird is a perfect combination of flashiness, viability, and power.”
“Pft, perfect combination to lose to my Stone Edge.” Susie and Kris snickered, opting to fist bump with their shoes since Kris was a little preoccupied. Berdly rolled his eyes, but he himself was holding himself back from a chuckle. “Kris, do tell what's your favorite since you suddenly feel the need to contribute.”
Kris’ expression grew to a devilish smile. “Gengar.” They quietly whispered, not elaborating like the other two had. Not that it was needed, it made perfect sense, and got respectable nods on all fronts. Some classics were simply that good.
They all glanced towards Noelle, and she gave a sheepish grin. “Um, it’s been a while since I’ve played, fahaha. The Eeveelutions are pretty good! I always liked Sylveon a lot.”
Susie tilted her head in acknowledgement. “Yeah they’re rad, Umbreon’s always been my favorite.” Berdly leaned back into a pillow. “Some Pokemon deserve the popularity they obtain, Noelle. It’s a staple.” Noelle gave a smile of thanks and was about to settle back into her cozy position.
“Liar.”
Their words were quiet, but immediately had the effect of turning everybody’s head to their mostly covered own. Noelle’s jaw went a little slack, before ruffling their hair. “Kris!” Susie tilted her head in amusement. “What do you mean lying, Kris? What exactly would Noelle get out of lying about that?” Kris gave a cheeky glance to Noelle, who seemed to suddenly be experiencing the proximity of their body heat as sweat magically materialized on her forehead. “W-Well! I do like Eevee! A lot, really! B-But, it’s kinda hard to pick just one, you know? It depends on a lot!” She stuttered, a faint tinge on her cheeks.
Berdly put a hand over his chest, “I understand, Noelle. It’s difficult to pick out of so many beautiful options.” Susie’s brow raised slightly. “I mean I get the concept, but I feel like a favorite’s a favorite, you know? Like, what makes it different for you?"
Susie noticed how Kris’ eyes gleamed as she asked that question.
“Well, Eevee was always my childhood favorite, for example. They’re cute and cuddly, and there’s a lot of experimentation with the evolutions! But as I got older and I played more I had already evolved all of them countless times over, and they aren’t as useful to me to use in the average playthrough. Most of them are pretty weak, unfortunately! The best ones usually are used as pivots these days…” Berdly leaned forward attentively, always enjoying an opportunity to nerd out. Susie tilted her head. “Pivot? Like, the turning kind of pivot?”
Noelle nodded eagerly. “Yeah kinda! When you’re playing against the in-game characters they just let you run them over, but against real players they’ll switch out of bad type matchups, so it’s good to be able to switch without being punished for it. Eevee forms are too passive and let in setup sweepers so it’s not a great role for them to play in stronger formats.”
The expression of confusion in Susie’s face only grew. “Wait so if they’re not good enough, then what would be?”
Noelle’s leg started to twitch. “One of my favorites in recent years is Incineroar. He has an excellent supporting skillset with Intimidate that weakens physical attackers while also being able to pivot in more fragile Pokemon while also weakening the opponent further with Parting Shot. He also has a good Attack stat and great offensive typing with Fire/Dark and matches up great into a ton of common Pokemon, and can help support his teammates.” Her words were starting to chain rapidly together, with less breathing in-between and more enthusiastic infodumping.
A trail of sweat emerged on Berdly’s forehead. “Teammate? But 1v1 is the most competitive and optimal format-”
“You’d think so right?!” Noelle gleefully interrupted, startling the two couchsurfers with her unusual cutoff. “But official competitive formats for Pokemon take place in Doubles! They change the formats every couple months to change things up and keep it fresh! People spend hours grinding and breeding their Pokemon for the most optimal stats and movepools. From their nature, to their raw numerical stats, I tend to go through dozens of Pokemon a day for the right one.”
“You get rid of your Pokemon?” Susie asked uncertainly, scratching through her hair. “Of course!” Noelle replied, barely waiting for the words to leave Susie’s maw. “You have to when the smallest weakness can be the difference between absolute victory and crushing defeat. I’ve had dozens of favorites over the years, but many Pokemon can’t keep up for long, there’s always a more efficient tool, you know? A good example of that is Hitmontop, originally another great user of Intimidate, most commonly used…”
Susie turned to look over at Berdly, and was horrified that he had a similarly lost and pleading expression on his face. Noelle didn’t care about a Pokemon’s design or how cool they looked or what power their moves had. She looked at Pokemon like it was a chess with cute animal skins. They had been quarreling against each other while the real villain lurked underneath and pretended she played Pokemon like a game and not a piece of land to conquer. A wolf in deer's clothing. Susie knew Noelle was a dork, but underneath her deceiving humble facade she was more crazy than the two of them put together.
She turned to Kris, expecting them to be disoriented from their girlfriend’s intense rambling. What she instead found was fondness radiating from their eyes, adoring staring into her eyes in a trance, and the revelation came to Susie with an unnerving clarity.
This little shit had done this on purpose.
Kris had knowingly capitalized on the group’s natural curiosity and had activated the sleeper agent within Noelle for their own benefit, and they were eating up every second. It wasn’t like anybody could tell her to stop, it wasn’t like getting Berdly to stop yapping. It was a perfect trap.
Kris met her eyes, a flush under their cheeks, and a sinister light awakened in their eyes. A subtle smirk that looked innocent but was laced with an underlying sense of pride. They flashed a wink before going back to gawking at their Pokemon nuclear powerplant.
Susie mentally waved the flag of surrender. These nerds were gonna be the death of her.