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It was a beautiful day at the Suzuka GP during the 2023 season of F1, it was your second year of being a reporter in the motorsport scene, doing content with the teams and even becoming friends with a good portion of the drivers. Specifically the top runners since they were the ones you interviewed the most, even being invited to team dinners along with Lissie and other media personel.
Max had secured another P1 finish and the McLarens had made it a 2-3. Oscar was still doing a different interview but Max Verstappen and Lando Norris had blessed your booth with their presence, it was loud. Fans all around you as you were set up pretty much in the middle of the paddock. This was a usual scene for you, it was where you felt really in your element, going with the flow of things and especially getting some exciting content done.
Both drivers gave you a big smile when they arrived at the spot designated for them. You hadn’t seen eachother in a week, it would be time for some proper catchup after the media duties were finally done. Since it was warm you were wearing a breathtaking flowery croptop praired with a pair of white pants, the outfit coming together summery yet still professional.
“Good day to the two of you, congratulations on your top finishes today, I hope you are very proud of yourselves. That was amazing to watch.” You started of the questioning as you gave the camera a smile. Behind the camera were only a couple of people, max and landos PR Managers as well as a camera operator and your own manager. Most of the tech part was done in a building not to far from you.
The Paddock didn’t allow too much space for any more people really. The only barrier between you and the fans being a volunteer and some drawn lines on the ground.
You were about half way through your interview and the drivers had been nicely awnsering all of your questions, throwing a joke in here and there.
You noticed the crowd behind you getting louder and a little bit more unsetteled but you couldn’t check, just relying on your hearing. What was going on? Probably just someone causing a little mayhem, Is what you told yourself, trying to focus on the task at hand. You noticed these kind of changes in your environment fairly easily, It was natural to be this hyper vigilant ever since you had been attacked by a mad man at the bar not accepting your decline as he tried to make advances toward you.
You hated to think about what that night did to you, how dirty you felt and how hurt you were. Since then your quick thinking and being able to read situations had saved you more than once. It was good but also tiring to be this aware at any given time in public.
Trying not to get lost in your own thoughts you turned your attention back to the motorsport athletes in front of you. Your next question was specifically for the young McLaren Driver. You took a breath and started your next question, “How does it feel to get a double podium-“ Especially with your teammate still being a rookie, That was how I wanted to end the question but I didn’t get to.
The murmurs of the crowd had gotten alarmingly loud but it was already too late to react. A arm snaked around my body from behind, a hand gripping your hair tightly and tugging your head backwards. Your head was spinning, the painful force of the pull on your long hair making your senses give up on you. Your hearing was gone, yet everything moved so slowly. Both hands of the tall figure attacking you from behind now grabbing your chest and squeezing both your breasts. What was happening?!
Your body was spun around, and you saw the ground getting closer to my face, body and mind still somewhat frozen in place as all you could do was watch the asphalt of the paddock street racing towards you.
The second your body hit the floor was when the time went back to normal. It was loud, deafening almost. Someone was yelling, people were leaping towards you.
The crushing weight of the man still on your body, pressing up against your upper body, knees on your thigh, Pinned down.
Your head had hit the floor and ur knees and hands were burning with the sensation of the rough material scraping the skin of the areas of your body taking the impact.
Then all of a sudden the weight on your body was gone, everything hurt. A arm reached for you, you body flinching at the movement. Someone was talking, what were they saying?
“Hey- you? Hey hey y/n, y/n-“ Your name was being called. Your vision starts to clear just enough to make out the two familiar faces looking at you with concern. “Are you okay?” you could finally make out the words. “Im- what. I’m okay..” was all you were able to say. You regained the feeling of your body. Looking around, you could see security making their way towards you.
Next to you was Max, holding down the man that must have been your attacker. He was ugly, disgusting, a disgusting human if you could even call him human. He was more an animal, the way he attacked you. On live TV. The realization that you might still be live hit you like a rock. You scrambled to get up. Your body barely complying.
“Don’t. Let the medics check you out. You hit your head darling.” The firm voice of Lando ordered. “No I’m okay, promise.” Was all you answered.
Security having taken over the violent man from Maxes strong grip. You gave a questioning look to your Manager, “Still live, are you good to finish and then we will stop for the day?”, they seriously wanted her to continue after what had just happened? All you wanted to do was run away, hide and wash the feeling of those rouge hands on your body .
You didn’t have time to answer as the camera pointed back at you. With quick fingers you fixed your blouse, wrapping your arms around the front of your body before letting out a sentence of goodbyes, “I’m sure some of you saw what just happened and have understanding for this interview having to be cut short. I am okay. See you next time.” Is what you managed to get out before the camera stopped rolling with a quiet click. The crew of the interview pierced its way towards the closed of part of the paddock.
As soon as you had arrived in safety, most people left. Max shooting you a sad look as he left. Only your manager, Landos and Lando himself stayed behind as they placed you in a small room. You didn’t say anything, you couldn’t say anything. It was like your mouth was glued shut. Memories of your previous experience resurfacing as the fresh feeling of those hands on you still ached badly. “Hey love, its okay, you’re safe. Tell us what you need.” Maya, your manager was the first to speak.
“Home.” Is all you could get out. It sounded chocked like there was someone wrapping their hand around your throat and squeezing it tightly. The room was silent, not even bubbly Lando daring to speak a word has he saw your emotionless body sit there, contemplating everything. They gave you a understanding look and it wasn’t long until you were in the back of a car being taken back to your hotel.
You don’t remember the way up to your hotel room, unlocking the door and thrown yourself onto the floor beside your bed.
The images weren’t relenting, the disgusting feeling on your skin making you itch at it in a attempt to rid yourself of the stains of hands and body on your skin. It had made of feel helpless, like you didn’t stand a chance, why did it happen again. Why did that man do that, was it your fault? Had you done something? A rational part of you knowing its not your own fault, but your body feeling like you were the one that had done something wrong. Its sad what society made you believe.
Your limbs start to tremble as the panic takes over your body.
You don’t know how much time has passed when your mind finally lets a little loose on the grip it has on your body and flashbacks.
You try to sort your thoughts. Shower. That’s all you wanted, to get clean, atleast as much as you could after the events not even 2 hours earlier. The events the racetrack were probably calming down about now. The teams would still be working for a while but the fans were probably slowly thinning out.
Heaving your heavy body of the floor you made your way towards the big bathroom of you hotel room. Clothes being tossed carelessly into a corner somewhere along the way, you grabbed a oversized hoodie and some shorts, something clean to wear after you were done. You felt very empty all of a sudden, no tears leaving your eyes anymore.
The hot water of the shower made you feel just a tiny bit better, as you took war to your body scrubbing down from head to toe. The shampoo burning on the cuts on your knees and hands, your head still hurting. The skin of your Chest and shoulders being red as you stepped out of the steamy class cabin. You didn’t have any strength left in you, quickly throwing on the tshirt and shorts before collapsing onto the soft carpet laying in front of the sink. Curling up and drowning in memories again. This time not shaking, not crying… just laying there, existing.
It felt like you’d been laying there for weeks but in reality it must have only been a couple of minutes. Your hair still dripping wet.
You snapped out of your trance when you heard the door of your room unlock. Who was it? No one else had a keycard? You were a little scared but also didn’t have it in you to move. Slowly steps moved into the dark room. “y/n? Are you here? Its Lando” The voice of the McLaren driver called through the room. You didn’t answer. Lando must have noticed the lights in the bathroom, the door half way open. You saw his head peek around the corner, hesitating not wanting to invade your privacy.
His heart hurt looking at your slumped figure on the floor. “I’m just here to check up on you after what happened. I’m so so sorry love. Is it okay if I come in?” he asked, something so soft about his voice. A raspy yeah escaped your lips, barely loud enough for him to hear you. He walked in, slowly lowering himself to your vision as he sat down not to far away from you, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. You also slowly started to lift yourself off the floor, almost getting dizzy as you did so. You took better look at the concerned man in front of you. He had a little first aid packet and some chocolate in his hands.
“Why are you here?” you said, it just slipped out and probably sounded a little more rude than you wanted to. “I wanted to see if I can help you, you looked so hurt when you left, im just incredibly worried. If you need space I can leave but please check in with me or someone else, I don’t want you to do anything stupid.” He said now looking insecure about his decision to come see you. “No. Please stay. I don’t want to be alone Lan.” You choked out before you could stop it. God you felt stupid, like a burden. His gaze onto you softened even more than it already had. “Anything I can do for you?” “Actually yes, can you help me dry my hair? It hurts my hands when I do it..” this was so embarrassing you whised the ground would just swallow you up.
But Lando didn’t bat an eye as he slowly got up and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around your head and drying your hair with slow motions, you flinched at the initial contact and he hesitated for a second before he kept going. Once your hair was only left to be a little bit damp he took the towel away and stood up again. “Good?” “Good.” You said satisfied with the result. “Thank you.” You heaved yourself up on shaky legs making your way towards the bed. You sat on the edge. Lando coming out of the bathroom walked over and knelt infront of you.
You shot him a confused look as he pulled out the first aid kit again. “is it okay if I put some bandages on those cuts?” he asked gently. You nodded. “this might sting.” He quickly warned before spraying some disinfectant on the wounds. It stung, you let out a spall pained noise. He looked at you your pain almost reflecting in his blue eyes. “is it okay if I touch you? Just to put the bandage on? You can do it yourself if you don’t want me to touch you?” He said. He actually asked for your constent. Something inside you melted at that, why didn’t everyone act like this.
Why did some people take your consent for granted, abuse you and take away control over yourself. Why?
You nodded again, and the white bandage soon made contact with the bruised skin of first your knees then your hands. He was so gentle, looking up for your approval before doing anything. He was so cautious, so gentle, it made you want to give HIM a hug.
You sat up on the bed, resting against the headboard, scooting over a bit so there was space for lando. After a small thinking break he took the offer and sat down on the other side of the bed.
There was a akward silence for a while, Lando wanting to give you the chance to speak if you wanted too. After a couple of minutes you finally broke. “You know this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to me?” He looked at you with hurt puppy eyes. “I feel so disgusting, dirty, I know its not my fault but I also don’t. I can still feel his hands, his body on mine. I hate this so much-“ is all you can get out of your mouth before the flood of tears start streaming down your face. Here you are crying infront of fucking Lando Norris. Yes you were thankful he was there to help you but you never wanted anyone to see you like this. Broken. “Im so sorry love, what do you need, anything I can do to help you right now?” He said, he looked so loving, caring, just wanting to help you. “A hug, hold me for a second please….” You say, he looks at you concerned. But scoots a little closer. Arms open with a tiny smile on his lips. It’s a invitation to initiate contact how you liked it, not wanting to overstep.
You gladly take up his inviting gesture, scoot closer and collapse into his arms.
Youre sobbing into his hoodie, head on the young drivers chest, his chin resting on the top of your head. His steady heartbeat giving you something to listen to, to focus on, getting his breathing in sync with your own. His strong arms are now wrapped around you firmly. One hand slowly stroking your hair. Faint, whispered words spilling from his mouth. “Youre safe love. Deep breaths.” And so on. His embrace making you feel safe and protected, slowly, very slowly slowing down your sobbing shaking body into a puddle of soft emotional embrace. You cries slowly but surely die down and he begins softly humming a song you cant quite make out, the vibration of his chest being weirdly soothing. His body radiated warmth as you began to feel more and more tired. “Thank you Lan.” You mumble slowly drifting off. You had never felt as safe as in Landos arms right now. “Always love. You ll be okay I promise. And im always here to help you when you need me.” He answers.
Last thing you feel is his hand drawing circles on your back and the hand in your hair slowing down before you both drifted off to the land of the dreams…