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Jayce should know better.
He's 25 years old, he's a scientist for fucks sake, the man of progress if you will. He is a cautious man, as cautious a man working with magic can be. He was not the one to suggest breaking into the deans lab and that explosion was a pure accident caused by a strangers break in. He obeys all of the safety regulations of piltovers code of law for science and invention ( written and established by Cecil B. Heimerdinger).
He has more than enough experience. With all that said, he should really know not to do this… again. And yet in the heat of the moment…
Let it be known, as one of the fundamental truths of the world, being horny makes you stupid. And Jayce, as much as he likes to deny it, is very well acquainted with this concept.
In this very moment Jayce stands bent over the labs metallic table, a normal regular occurrence, that is nothing out of the ordinary. One might find him doing this during scheduled work hours while he is working on a particularly fuzzy invention. What isn't, however, so regular and ordinary, is the fact, that he is currently desperately trying to retrieve a small, handheld Talis brand hammer from his unclothed, tightly clenched rectum.
If someone were to ask him right now how he got in this situation, he would 'hole'-heartedly tell them, he has no fucking clue what compelled him to do this.
He would be honest enough to not make up a ridiculous story, about how he 'slipped and fell and it just somehow went right in there'. He tried that the first time he got into this kind of situation as a freshly nineteen year old, sheltered academy boy, and the expression on the emergency doctors face was enough to tell him, that you don't do that. Ever again.
See this isn't the first time this has happened. As embarrassing as it is… its the third.
The first was during a very stressful time in the academy. Right in the middle of exam season. The professors were stressing him out, as were his sponsors. Pushing him to better pass because otherwise, 'whops there goes your entire future'. He just needed some way of releasing all that pent up stress.
Fuck Dimitri and his stupid, perfect smile. Of corse he didn't help either. He would only rub his success in Jayces face and stress him out more.
But there's no time to dwell on that.
The second time he was just as, if not more ashamed to be sitting in the ER, covering his bright red face with his hands, wondering why in the world he would ever try that again.
At least the first time this happened he was a young adult, experimenting with himself. Still naive and young enough to get away with it. He was able to brush it of as him not knowing any better then.
He is not going to end up in the hospital as the man of progress, the hextech wonder boy, who is leading piltover to a brighter future, with a hammer stuck up his ass. The council would end him. The headlines would be scandalous. His mother wound be disappointed and Viktor would return to the undercity and abandoned him in an instant from sheer disgust. Jayce doesn't think he could ever show his face in public again if this ever got out.
Jayce takes a deep breath and grabs onto the head of the hammer as best as he can, he hands are sticky with sweat by now, which certainly doesn't help him in his unfortunate predicament.
"Fuck, fuck, okay-" he hisses to himself in an attempt to soothe his mind. He tries to pull once more to no avail. It's in there alright. Might as well let the piltover press know. "Jayce Talis, golden boy, has the tightest ass in all of piltover." Kill him now. They should put him in stillwater and let him rot there.
No matter how much he tries, hes way too tensed up. How could he not be, his reputation is on the line, and with it, his life's work. This is stressing him out more than that stupid hexgate deadline. Honestly that thing is the problem hes even in this situation. If Hoskel and Salo hadn't kept pushing the deadline up he wouldn't have needed to sleep in the lab.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. He can't go to the hospital, he cant. He can not see the look on the doctors faces if he shows up there for the third time. He can not listen to another lecture about why you should not fucking do that. He knows it's stupid. He doesn't know why he keeps fucking doing it. It's like his brain shuts of at the idea of having something up his…
Jayce groans loudly in desperation. He slams his forehead down onto his desk and howls like a kicked dog.
"Did i pick a bad time or-" Jayces blood freezes in his veins.
"Viktor!"
Jayces first instinct is to spin around to face his partner but then again that would only expose his somehow still present erection, which would only make this worse. So just stumbles around in an incredibly pathetic maneuver. Stumbling around like a drunk man on an ice rink.
He ends up with his body spun around just enough to look at his partner, while covering his dick with his hands. His pants hanging abandoned around his ankles.
"What uh…" he swallows dryly, "what are you doing here?" His voice cracks.
The room is filled with a deafening silence for a moment. A moment, of just uninterrupted eye contact with Viktors, slowly more confused growing face. This is like a scene straight put of Jayces worst nightmares. Like the one where he realizes, that he's suddenly completely naked in the middle of class, standing at the podium, in front of all of his classmates.
Viktor, his dear hextech partner. His closest ever friend. The only person who genuinely believed in him. Who saved his life. Jayce is fucking mortified. Why did it have to be Viktor of all people.
Why couldn't it have been that half blind, old security guard instead.
"Its so late, it's almost…." Jayce tries. His brain is desperate to find a way to make this situation seem normal in any way possible. A fruitless effort of course. It feels like his neurons are on damage control. Like someone pulled the emergency brake. While Jayce is still trying to save himself somehow, his brain has already jumped out the window and started digging his grave. Nothing feels real right now. He must be imagining this.
This must be a dream. Yeah, that's it. He must have fallen asleep at his desk, that's the only logical explanation. But he can feel the sweat dripping down his eyebrow. He can feel his pulse hammering away in his neck. He can see the dark circles under Viktors eyes as his expression grows more and more confused.
Viktor doesn’t blink. His golden irises shine onto Jayce, making him feel like a deer in headlights. He keeps consistent eye-contact, not once do his eyes snap down for even a millisecond. Somehow that only makes this more alarming.
Viktor licks his lips. Finally he opens them to talk.
"Should I go-"
"NO! I mean…" Jayce shouts. He begs whatever god is listening, that no one heard him just now. He can imagine poor miss young, bless her soul, hear him scream and hurry to check on him out of concern. He lets out a few nervous laughs for a second, wracking his brain for something anything to say that would somehow perfectly explain his situation. Panic laughing is not his favorite bodily response.
"I'm ah, … I might… need your help."
Viktor blinks. His eyebrows rise up comical high.
"To get off?" he closes his hand and mimes a back and forth motion. "At least take me out to dinner first, mister Talis," he quips.
Jayce ponders his options for a second. If its between risking it by telling Viktor the truth and asking him for help, or having his most private embarrassment showcased to all of piltover, he'd much rather trust his partner.
"Its stuck!" Jayce shamefully admits. He turns back around to face the desk and covers his face with both hands.
"I cant get it out. Please help me." He whimpers, his voice muffled by his hands, is dripping in shame.
"Ah…" is the only reaction Viktor gives him. He does not want to see Viktors face right now. He can't. Even if he sounds rather unimpressed by this while situation. He seems more disappointed than anything. Mostly just tired. Then again it is 11 at night so…
There are a few footsteps accompanied by the rhythmic thunking of a cane.
"Is that a Talis branded hammer?" Viktor asks, his tone loose and playful. "Bit egotistical, no?"
"Please just get it out."
"I guess you could say you are, eh, up your own arse?" How is Viktor so calm about this. How can he be cracking jokes while Jayce is more humiliated than he's ever been before. Viktor should be repulsed.
"Not in the mood for jokes?" Viktor asks, like its all fun and games.
"No…" Jayce whispers.
Viktor lets out a quiet snort before composing himself.
"Alright, bend over a bit further."
Jayce obeys, letting his stomach reach the cold table. This only makes him feel more exposed than he already is, facing Viktor with his bottom, but he's not in any position to be making demands right now.
He can feel Viktors bony hands close to his ass cheeks. Viktor, his best friend, the man who saved his life. His lab partner is seeing him up close and personal with a hammer up his ass. Jayce is trying his best not to combust. No that would only contaminate the lab with tons of little Jayce bits. That would be a pain to clean up.
"Can you unclench a bit?" Viktor asks.
"No."
"Yes you can Jayce, come on take a deep breath." Viktors voice is calm and reassuring.
"I cant, this is so bad, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you have to see me like this." Jayces wishes he was never born. He wishes he could go back in time and kill the him from thirty minutes ago with a swift hammer blow to the skull. That would be merciful.
"Jayce I have seen way more shocking things in my twenty six years of life than a grown man with an improperly placed object in his anus." Viktor sighs deeply, as if he's been in this situation hundreds of times.
"Breath in, think of, uh a nice bed of flowers or a pretty lady. Maybe both, eh?"
Jayce can't think about those things. Right now, how upsetting it may be, Jayce can only think about how close Viktors cold bony cold fingers are to his ass. And… fortunately that seems to be working fine enough. Jayce feels a warm tingle in his lower abdomen. One usually only reserved for private late night browsing of mature magazines and staring at newspaper images of Dimitri for some unknown reason. That's just one of the mysteries of the universe, that last one.
That's not something to think about later. This whole situation is going right on the top shelf next to the whole Dimitri thing. Never to be thought about again.
"Just like that." Viktor leans his cane against the desk and gives him a gentle pat on the back with his free hand. "Relax, I've got it."
A repressed moan slips past Jayces lips as he begins to unclench a little. This is only getting worse. If Viktor never wants to see him again after this that would be for the better. They would split hextech fifty fifty and part ways on terms that would leave the public baffled and forever confused.
He won't ever be able to look Viktor in the eyes again.
Viktors hands. Viktors fingers. Wrapped around him, inside him. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
There's a slight pull and the hammer slips out just a little bit more.
Jayces dick twitches. He can feel a drop of precum pearling up on his tip. Shit, don't cum, don't cum, don't fucking cum in front of your best friend.
"Jayce, you're tensing up again." Viktors tired deep voice warns him.
"I'm sorry I just feel like-" its too much at once.
"Don't feel ashamed, let it out, it's only natural. Unclench your buttocks."
Okay. Okay, okay. Jayce closes his eyes, he takes a few deep breaths. He's not in the lab. He's at home, in bed, and Viktor is most certainly not next to him in that same bed. He's only a figment of his imagination. Right now, his biggest concern is what he should eat for dinner tomorrow and how the hell he is going to make that deadline. Everything is fine.
Those are not Viktors knuckles touching the skin of his ass. That is not Viktors cold hand gently rubbing his back the same way Jayce usually does it to him, trying to comfort him. Everything is fine and dandy.
There's a final pull and then relief. Relief in more way than one. The friction of the withdrawal is enough to… do it's job.
"Got it." Viktor chimes triumphantly.
As his last, possibly most humiliating act, Jayce unwillingly moans as the object is finally pulled out. His cock happily releasing a load right onto his work station.
He quickly pulls his pants back up before he sinks down onto the ground and proceeds to curl up into a pathetic little ball of shame.
"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Viktor asks playfully.
This whole situation has been the worst thing Jayce has ever experienced. His dignity has been shattered.
"I'm so sorry, can we please just forget this ever happened." Jayce forces out.
"As soon as you tell me why you decided a hammer of all things was the best choice of object to insert. I mean the weight alone is suboptimal. Those muscles of yours really aren't just for show, eh? You can certainly…lift things."
Viktor drops the hammer down on the table with a loud clank. Right next to the disgraceful puddle.
"We need to submerge that thing in sanitizer before we will ever be able to use it again." He states neutrally. "Do we have a tub, or a bucket?"
Jayce is still covering his face. Maybe if he tries hard enough, he will wake up in his bed, at home, and this will all have been a dream. He wants to dig a hole into the ground and burry himself in it. He wants to jump off the edge of runterra. He wants so sail far far away, deep into the woods and never be heard of again.
"Please never perceive me again."
"Oh come on Jayce, it's not that big of a deal. This such a common occurrence in piltover. Keep this between us, but when I was Heimerdingers assistant, I had a colleague of mine end up in the hospital because of this. You pilties, heh?"
Viktor pity laughs. Putting a hand on Jayces back.
"This is humiliating V. I'm mortified."
"There is nothing shameful about being curious Jayce. We are scientists after all."
"Viktor please don't bring our work into this."
"You know better now. At least this won't happen again."
It nags at Jayce. Viktor doesn't realize how bad thus is. He thinks this is the first time. And because of that he feels somewhat sympathetic towards him.
And Jayce, he can't let that be. He can't let himself get away with this unpunished.
He's really going to admit it to Viktor, isn't he? Out of all people, Viktor is so understanding. He's so calm. Like he's immune to second hand embarrassment, incapable of being shocked. He is a zaunite. He has seen and experienced some things, Jayce could never imagine first hand. Jayce knows this. But to see it happen, to see him be so collected and humorous about something so mortifying it has the capability to ruin Jayces life, it's so unbelievable.
If he's going to admit it to anyone, it might as well be him. But that precisely is the problem. He would prefer Viktor to react with disgust over him being like this.
This is about principle. It's about Jayce getting punished. He feels like he shouldn't get away with this. He's fucked up drastically. He's done something repulsive, wrong, disgusting, ungodly.
It's not right for Viktor to react the way he did.
"This isn't the first time this has happened."
Viktor retrieves a cleaning bucket out from their lab closet.
"The putting something in your arse thing or it getting stuck?"
"It getting stuck." Jayce admits. He presses his forehead down onto the cold floor.
"So what, this is the second-"
"Third."
Viktor is quiet for a moment.
"The first was a month after I joined the academy, the second was a few days before hextech was…"
Jayce can't bring himself to continue. Viktor stays quiet. This is it. This is what he deserves. Viktor is giving him the cold shoulder. Jayce has finally alienated him. Grossed him out enough to create a distance.
Viktor takes a deep breath in. He sighs, deeply, like an exhausted teacher.
He drops the hammer into the bucket with a loud, reverberating thud.
"Alright, get up, let's go." He says dryly and unsurprised. He pulls his keys out of his pant pocket, they loudly jangle and clank against each other.
"What?" Jayce is pulled out from his dark pit without a moments notice. What is happening. Is he not getting ignored for the rest of his life?
Viktor walks toward the door, looking back at Jayce with an expecting look, like hes waiting for him to follow.
"Come on let's go were taking a trip down" he claps his hands, like a teacher telling a group of students to hurry up.
"What are we doing?" Jayce asks, confusion only growing.
"We're buying you a dildo." He says dryly as can be. And it feels like someone has pulled at Jayces spine. What?
Jayce can't shoot up fast enough.
"Woah, hold on!"
—
The walk down to the undercity is awkward. Well, for Jayce at least. Viktor seems to be just fine. He's rather enjoying the nice walk.
This feels illegal.
Its not, Jayce knows that it's not. It's literally just buying something, with real money, completely legally. But it feels illegal.
Like it's something he's not allowed to do. Buying a dildo is something only sex workers and gay men are allowed to do. Not that there's anything wrong with either of those, it's just that Jayce is neither.
He's not gay. He's not. He's just got an odd fixation that's all. He likes women. So he can't be. That's how that works, isn't it?.
It just feels wrong. Jayce pulls the hood of his jacket down further as they go deeper down.
The moonlight doesn’t reach this place, locked out by the thick, polluted air. The bright neon lights and the occasional passerbys lamp or lit up cigarette are the only source of light remaining down here. He's not supposed to be here. When he dies, whichever god is up there is going to pull up a montage of all the things he's done. When that happens, they are going to halt on this night for a long time. He was such a good boy when he was younger. Obedient, polite, respectful, quiet. Where did he fuck up this badly. How has he strayed this far off the path.
Jayces therapist says he has a tendency to "self sabotage". That his permanent guilt and feeling of deserving constant punishment is not normal, and should be looked at closer. But Jayce just can't see it that way. Jayce has never been quite in his right mind. He's heard that a lot throughout his life. From his mother, his aunt, his teachers, he could go on. There's something deeply wrong with him and it needs to be burned and beaten out of him, not pulled out and looked at.
He could still turn around. It's not too late to just walk back home. Like they tell you in those don't do drugs presentations you had in school. This feels like the same thing. Only there's no drugs and no shady guy in an alleyway, opening up his big trench coat to offer them to him… and this is a lot more ridiculous.
"Viktor, it's uh, it's really late maybe we should-"
"You're not getting out of this. I know what you're doing Jayce. You need to unlearn that shame."
"What?"
"You're trying to weasel your way out of this. Because you are afraid." Viktor gives him a deadpan expression.
It makes Jayce freezes up for a second. That's lecturing look on his face.
"I just think… I don't need this Viktor, I'll be fine. I won't even use it."
"Ah ah ah, no. We both know that's not true. You are clearly are unable to keep yourself from putting something up there, so we are buying you something that's made for precisely that purpose."
Jayce can't talk. The words are stuck in his throat. It's like he's been schooled, but it goes against everything, that he knows.
"There is nothing wrong with liking anal pleasure Jayce. You are not some irredeemable demon or gross freak."
There's an air of silence that lingers for a while. Because Viktor is right. Jayce knows he would do it again. He wouldn't admit is to anyone, he'll not even himself. But it's true. He would make the same mistake for the rest of his life and continue to punish himself for it.
Viktor stops walking. His cane stills on the ground.
"We uh-, we're lucky these guys are open all hours of the day, huh?" Jayce squeaks, his voice cracks like his once again hit puberty. He's nervous, no, scared or terrified are better descriptors, for a multitude of reasons. For one, because Jayce would have certainly gotten recognized otherwise.
Everyone seems to recognize the "face of hextech" ever since the council decided to plaster it on all sorts of merchandise without his permission, to pull in a bit of "extra funding cash". Posters, T-shirts, buttons, the mug was actually pretty nice, a fucking blimp even.
His nerves are making him stress giggle.
"They actually only open at night. Believe it or not you're not the only person who is ashamed of being a sexual being." Jayce understands that. There is something comforting about doing these things in the darkness of the night. Something mysterious, anonymous, secret.
They stand before the not so small zaunite shop with the big neon sign outside. A big pair of lips and hands. The slogan "we satisfy all your needs" does not ease Jayce's anxiety. It's physically a small house, for piltover standards, but it feels more intimidating than the council building.
Jayce sits on that feeling for a second. It's odd. He's terrified, but at the same time, he can't help but feel curious, even a bit excited.
Then something registers.
"Wait fuck, are the owners going to recognize me? Viktor we can't-" Viktor thumps his cane down loudly, forcing Jayce to halt his sentence.
"And what if they do? What will happen? Will they call the press. Tell them that grown adult Jayce Talis is doing grown adult things." Viktor sighs.
"You will be fine Jayce, you're just another adult in an adult store. I'm sure you have one of these in piltover too, just hidden and tucked away somewhere. There is nothing morally wrong with that. You are not going to be reported to the enforcers for masturbating. No one is going to clutch their pearls in shock."
Viktor puts a hand on his shoulder. "Look at me." He instructs. Jayce follows. "What are you scared of?"
That… Jayce shrugs. That they will be grossed out. They will think he's weird. That they will spread it around that he came here at all. But then again… Jayce looks at the store in front of him. All of that is not as logical as it seems at first.
"Hey," Viktor looks into his eyes, seeming a bit more tired than earlier. "It is going to be okay."
Jayce takes a deep breath. Okay. Time to take a risk.
"Besides, the owners know me." Viktor cackles as he reaches behind his back and pulls Jayce inside.
"Ah okay… Wait what does that mean?"
And suddenly Jayces eyes are flashed with a wide array of silicone and leather objects, the likes of which he has never seen before.
Dildos of all shapes, lengths and colors. Some seem impossibly big. Some are shaped like tentacles. There are collars and whips and a whole bunch of things made of leather, which Jayce has no idea what they could possibly be used for.
Realistic flaccid penises and silicon vulvas. Paddles, handcuffs, mechanical devices, which intrigue Jayce simply on the basis of their creation history. Someone designed that. Someone invented that and made prototypes of it, the same way Viktor and him invent new devices. It's breaking Jayces brain.
"What… am I even…" he stutters in pure awe.
His eyes feel like they might just pop out of his head. He stares at the variety of cocks before him. Like a kid in a candy shop. Holy shit.
"Viktor!" A tired voice suddenly calls. "Hey buddy, how've ya been? I've missed you." A person with short messy hair and piercings speckled across their face calls from behind the counter.
Jayce is once again thrown into deep worry and confusion. Should he say hello, introduce himself? Viktor seems to know them. What is he supposed to do in this situation. What's the etiquette here?
"You brought your new boyfriend?" They wave over to him. Jayce awkwardly waves back.
He can not for the life of him tell if they are a man or a woman. There's no name tag either. Usually this wouldn't be a problem at all. Solved easily buy just a quick 'hello, good evening' but right now Jayces brain is about as fried as the shrimp he ate yesterday. There are so many different thoughts taking up space in his head, that it leaves no room for communicating. So he ends up spouting utter nonsense, his tongue connecting words that do not go together.
"Hello Miss Sir, it's a good night..." in his defense, there is a pink 5 inch dildo with two little googly eyes glued on it staring right at him from the counter top.
Thankfully the person seems to find this more charming than anything else.
"No, he's my lap partner." Viktor explains.
"You brought your coworker here, how fun. He's a funny little guy. He's from up top ain't he? He looks a bit lost."
"Yeah, he's just looking for a dildo. Don't scare him off. It's his first time."
The person nods, understanding.
"Ah, I see. You can use the signs up top to orient yourself. Number 4 is for the dildos, all body safe silicone. If you're allergic to any specific material we do have some allergy safe alternatives in the back shelves. They have a little green sticker on the box."
"Okay…"
They seem so… polite and friendly. Like this is completely normal. Like a regular salesman in any average store. As if you're looking for a certain type of wood in a hardware shop.
All his life Jayce has known sexuality to be a topic that's taboo. It's gross, it's weird, it's just something you don't talk about or acknowledge, ever, with anyone. Masturbating is disgusting, it's shameful, degenerate, icky. Everyone knows, that almost everyone does it, and yet acknowledging that is not allowed. It's normal, it's healthy. That's what the doctors say and at the same time, it's repulsive and embarrassing.
And yet there's no judgment here. None at all. No whispering behind his back, no shock. No hushed giggling.
They simply keep talking with Viktor. Like two old friends reconnecting after a long time apart.
This person, covered in piercings, who, by all he was taught through school presentations, piltovers warning posters and newspaper articles, should be a weird, deranged, criminal freak, is the most polite stranger he's ever met. He's been questioning a lot of things he used to consider fundamental truths.
Jayces eyes wander back over the wide array of toys. The sheer size of them makes him spontaneously wonder…
He glances down. Is he smaller than average? He remembers walking in on Dimitri in the communal showers at the indoor swimming pool once. Back then it had given him quite the confidence boost. Which is what he chalks his consequential boner that showed up a few seconds later up to. Because well, Jayce was certainly bigger than him. And Dimitri was quite popular with the ladies and lads, let's say it like that.
Five inches is the average, is it not? Yet Compared to some of these toys he must be minuscule.
Then again, that must be the appeal of it all. It's not real. It's a toy. It supposed to be unrealistic that's the fun of it. You can shape it in any way you want to, because there's not a person attached to it. No expectation to uphold of another.
Hes looking at one right now that is literally shaped like a bright pink tentacle. He shouldn't take this so seriously.
Jayce feels nauseous looking at the sheer amount of choices before him. Better to just get this over with. He grabs a 6 inch blue dildo, wrapped in a neat unassuming, plain box.
He thinks about his own thought process…
Its funny, hes not even religious anymore. So why does he still feel like a filthy sinner who will end up in hell. He thought he had long let go of all that. But maybe some things are more deeply ingrained into you than you realize.
He shakes his head and with the motion goes a good bit of shame. It's fine. He's going to be fine.
Tightly holding the plain box, he starts to head back to Viktor, who is still engaged in conversation with the person up front.
"That's insane, how the fuck do they expect you do that in two months, are they fucking crazy?"
He hears the person whisper. Ah more work talk.
"I guess so. Je to směšné." Viktor sighs.
"Fuckin hell. How's the wonder boy treating you? You two getting along? Or do I need to get involved?"
Jayce pauses just behind the shelf. They're talking about him.
"Jayce is very pleasant to work with." He hears Viktor laugh. A bit like hes talking about his crush. But that's ridiculous. If Viktor felt that way he would tell him. And then they could talk about it and go out together and get coffee and snuggle while they share the lab blanket. Wait, what are they talking about again?
"Even if he is a bit of a prude. But it is piltover, what do you expect." Viktor continues.
Prude? What does that mean? Is he calling Jayce a slur? He needs to look that up later.
"He needs to unlearn that stigma. Its not healthy. I'm not surprised. It's a big problem up top. It's like they're afraid of sex. I mean, that's how you end up with those cases of someone in the ER with a shampoo bottle up-"
NO. No, no, no. Oh god.
"HAHAHA! What are we talking about?" Jayce rushes up to the counter interrupting them right in the middle of their sentence. He doubts Viktor would rat him out about this but he's better safe than sorry.
"Oh just chit chat. You ready to ring up?"
"I uh yeah I think." Jayce stutters.
"Do you need anything else. I can help you if you need?" The person has a genuine smile on their face. Not like the fake one the regular cashiers have to put on in order not to get fired.
"No, I think I'm good." Jayce feels like he might choke on his own tongue. Come on Jayce, breathe, you're okay.
The person reaches down under the counter and pulls up a small little bottle that might look identical to a bottle of hand sanitizer in any other situation.
"Lube?" They ask.
"Okay, yeah, that would be nice, thank you."
—
The walk back up top is surprisingly more relaxed than the way down. It's quite nice actually. Now that all the fear is out of it.
"I have to know," Viktor laughs. "the first time this happened, what exactly-"
"Fuck V, that was so embarrassing. Don't make me talk about that."
"You don't have to."
"No, it's fine you pulled a hammer out of me, I owe you big time." Jayce chuckles. He inhales deeply preparing to confess something only his doctors know about.
"Okay. I uh, I was pretty fresh in the academy. Just turned twenty. It was the middle of exam season, right?"
"Uh huh" Viktor nods along deeply focused.
"I shared a class with this guy." Even thinking about him makes Jayces stomach feel weird, warm and tingly with what must be hatred. Urgh.
"Dimitri."
"Oh I knew him. He was a rather nice man, was he not? So polite. How is he related to this? Did he dare you to do it?"
"No, no. He, well, just after the results came out, I come to learn that he managed to surpass me. And then, then this bastard came over to my dorm and 'congratulated' me for my great score." Jayce scoffs.
"Okay, so… what? He was being polite. So far I think this rivalry might be a bit one sided. Are you sure he had something against you?"
"No V, you don't get it. He just wanted to rub it into my face. How much better he was than me. How his inventions never blew up and how handsome he was and how he got all the hot guys."
"You were jealous of him getting the hot guys?" Viktor gives him a bemused look.
"No I just, I uh-" well that's food for thought. He never really thought about it like that. Not important. Don't get distracted. "This guy had sex every night V, I heard it."
Viktor gives him an odd smirk at that, looking a bit satisfied with himself. "Anyway, I'm getting off topic. The point is, he really pissed me off okay. I was really mad and I needed to let off some steam. So I tried masturbating, and that didn't really help. It just wasn't enough, so I uh… well it was just laying there…"
"Were you mad or just pent up? Because it sounds like, in my personal, unprofessional opinion, you were turned on by him."
"What? Viktor I could never. I hated that guy. Always better than me at everything. Coming over to my dorm, bringing me a slice of his moms cake. Always smiling at me."
"Did you? You listened to him eh, getting it on."
"His dorm was right above mine, I couldn't not."
"He came by to congratulate you, and the first thing you did in response to that, was to stick a hammer up yourself."
…
Huh. So it seems that is what happened.
"I never really thought about it… like that." Jayce scratches his neck. What does that make him?
"Viktor you're gay," Jayce starts.
"That is a factually correct statement, yes. Where is this going?"
"Do you think I'm gay?" As soon as he says it it becomes clear to him how stupid that question is. Mental note: Don't ask anyone that. Especially not a gay person.
"Do I think you are gay?" Viktor repeats.
"I cannot tell you what your identity is. This isn't like diagnosis. I'm not a professional homosexuality identifier. You have to figure that out yourself." Viktor explains.
"Can you help me figure it out?"
"What are you insinuating?" Viktor scratches his eyebrow.
"I don't know you always help me figure stuff out with hextech. Maybe you could help me with this too." Jayce shrugs.
"Do you want me to pull out the blackboard and start writing calculations about how gay you might be?" Viktor jokes, only barely keeping it together.
"…honestly,"
"Don't say yes Jayce, that is the most, eh, eh, goofy thing,"
Before Viktor can finish he just starts laughing loudly and Jayce quickly joins in. Viktor has one of those laughs that is ridiculously contagious.
"Bring out the chalkboard boy."
"Oh gods am I going to get a bad grade in gay?"
"Just start writing out a mind map, of all the people-"
"Put Heimerdinger on there." Jayce says in a jokingly serious tone and Viktor wheezes.
It takes a while of giggling and wheezing for air before they go back to normal. By that time there are tears in Jayces eyes.
"The Hyposgaysis." Jayce whispers to himself.
"Don't. Its not funny anymore." Viktor huffs out between tired laughs, clearly trying to hold it back. He swipes a tear from his eye.
"Well, that's my place." They both stop before the door of Jayces house. The walk back had felt so much shorter. Its hard to believe hes already home. He kind of wants to keep walking. Just looping around the area so he can keep listening to Viktor talk for a bit longer.
"Thank you V. For everything today."
"No problemo." Viktor shoots him a finger gun. He begins to hum to himself as he starts to walk away. "…Hyposgaysis…" he whispers to himself chuckling under his breath.
Jayce glances at the box. Its blank, unassuming. It doesn't look like anything. It feels like an anvil. Dimitri's face comes to his mind. He thinks about him. About himself. Then about Viktor.
Fuck it. If he's ever going to experiment and figure himself out, the time to do so is now. Viktor has already seen his asshole. What's the point of holding back now.
"Do you… can you stay?"
Viktor turns around.
"For what?"
Fuck, how is he going to do this?
"I've never used a dildo before. I don't want to do anything wrong."
"Whats there to do wrong. Getting it in is the hard part. You managed that with a hammer. I believe in you Jayce." Viktor throws up a thumbs up.
"I just… please."
Viktor raises one eyebrow and then the other comically slowly follows. "Alright I see what this is." He smirks.
"What do you mean?" What is this supposed to be. A friend helping another out. He just figured, since Viktor knows more about this stuff and he seemed so calm about it. And well… Viktor is gay.
So maybe this is Jayces way of repaying him. Would he enjoy this? Would he like this, getting to do this to Jayce, with Jayce.
Fuck it, who is he kidding, he needs to stop lying to himself.
He finds Viktor incredibly attractive. That's what this is. He makes Jayce understand what people mean when they say they have butterflies in their stomach. His voice makes his heart flutter and his hands make him feel a way about himself he had preferred to repress until now.
And fuck, maybe Jayce is gay, or bi or whatever anyone of all those terms that are out there. Perhaps he should open his mind up a little.
"Come on Jayce," Viktor slides a hand onto Jayces shoulder. "It's time to wank it."
"Please don't say that V."