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It’s Christmas Day, and I couldn’t be more content.
I haven’t really ever celebrated Christmas in a crazy way, it’s always just been my family and I. We'd wake up, open presents, and have a more Christmas-y dinner, then go to sleep.
It’s not like I ever had a problem with that, I always loved that little routine. It was special and I was perfectly fine with that.
Though, it wasn’t until I turned 12 to where it started feeling less…jolly.
I never had a lot of friends growing up, I had a small, close-knit group of people who I’d talk to in class, and occasionally go to their birthday parties, but it wasn’t much more than that.
So when I grew distant from them in middle school, I noticed how much fun my peers had with their friends during the holiday season.
Giving their friends, their partners that would last a month, and sometimes even their teachers—gifts.
It was sweet to watch, sure. And I know I had my family who would do the same things for me, but I just felt like I was missing out.
This repeated year by year, until I turned 20.
I had moved out of the house by then, my parents cared enough about me—they were saving up money for me to get somewhere to live so I could get a good start.
So I bought an apartment.
Yeah… most 20 year olds wouldn’t be able to afford that. Though, I wasn’t fitting the description of ‘most 20 year olds’.
I didn’t go to college, and I don’t really regret it.
I know I would’ve been burnt out, and my mental health was bad enough in high school. I didn’t need to make that worse by forcing myself to stay longer in a school environment.
I can always go back to school if I feel like it, but for now. I don’t.
Anyways, I did end up making some friends.
I started writing stories when I was a teenager, and continued that hobby till I was an adult—and that’s when being an author formed into my actual career.
Like most, I didn’t get a lot of publicity.
I would write stories about characters in these little worlds, sometimes writing about real events with fake people—just the basic stuff honestly.
However, that time of having about 100 people who owned my novels shortly ended once I was invited to an online server filled with genuine, flesh and blood, murderers.
It wasn’t even like they were people who accidentally killed someone, and then joined this server to talk to people who were in the same situation as them to cope.
They were serial killers.
I was scared, no doubt—but some insane part of me thought it’d be a good idea to stay in the server and get to know these murderers, for a book I had just started writing… and only my book.
Yeah. Nothing else.
Safe to say, I ended up getting really close to them.
Despite being murderers, they were some of the most accepting people I had ever met. All the stereotypes about homicidal maniacs were all shut down, everyone was unique and had their own reasons to kill.
I decided to focus my book mainly on this guy, Ronin, and because of that, I was definitely the closest with him.
He was the one to send me the invite to the server in the first place, all just because I was researching…admittedly sketchy—questions out of curiosity.
So it isn’t too outlandish to the fact that he found out I wasn’t a murderer, first.
I thought he was going to kill me. Who wouldn’t? I was lying about who I was to blend into this group, and he just figured me out. I could be a spy for all he knows, so it’d make sense for him to get rid of me so I wouldn’t be a problem.
But he didn’t.
He sort-of blackmailed me though.
Back on topic, it’s Christmas time!
Currently, I’m in the back seat of Ronin’s truck. Misaki called shotgun before any of us could blink, and V is sitting right behind Ronin. I’m assuming it’s just in case he changes his mind about not wanting to kill him, and just ends up strangling him from behind.
But that leaves Angel sitting right next to me. And out of everyone, she’s the calmest.
She sits so elegantly but comfortably at the same time, it’s like she’s posing for a renaissance painting.
Every now and then while Misaki talks about whatever comes to her mind over the radio, Angel nudges me and asks what I’m planning on doing once we get to the event or something related.
Conveniently, just as I’m thinking that, she nudges me.
“Do you want to make an ornament with me after you and Ronin are done ice skating?”
“Sure, you sure you don’t wanna skate with us though? Misaki said they’d join later.”
I didn’t even stop to think about it, a chance to hang out with Angel is a blessing. Just standing around her calms every molecule in my body.
She nods with a slight giggle, causing me to raise a brow, but I don’t say anything.
Turning back to the window, I watch the snow pour and twirl in the air. In the car, the scenery looks warm despite very much being the opposite.
I’ve never felt this warm during Christmas. It’s not like getting a gift you’ve been begging for since you’ve been conscious, and it’s not even the delicious food that’s only made for Christmas dinner.
It’s a feeling that’s just, happy.
Even if nobody in this car truly cares about me, and they’re all planning to kill me as soon as we step out—I don’t care.
Because the feeling of being surrounded by people I love, is much better than any gift I could’ve asked for.
We eventually reach the park, and exit the car.
As I step out of the warm environment, I immediately shiver and rub my arms for warmth.
Despite wearing a jacket, it’s still going to take me a few moments to warm up. The snow burrows itself into my coat and clothes just to melt upon impact.
I catch Misaki with her mouth wide open and head tilted back as they dramatically attempt to catch snowflakes.
With a soft giggle from my end, a faint puff of fog swirls from my lips. I walk over to Misaki and stick out my tongue with them, and in a second or two—I feel the familiar sensation of a cool drop of water dissolve onto my tongue.
“Come on. They’re heading in.”
I catch V with my gaze just as he comments and turns. He strolls off while Misaki grabs a small backpack from the car covered with pins and slings it over her shoulder.
“What’s that for?” I ask, gesturing to their bag. We’re just trailing behind the others now, slowly reforming back into our group.
“Oh! To take photos, duh? And there’s some snacks in here. You know how much the food normally costs at places like this..”
Nodding as we continue to talk about anything and everything—apparently there was a shirtless guy in shorts jogging when we were in the car, we reach the group and I immediately become star struck.
“Woah.” I mumble.
There’s a massive tree in the center of everything. A guy hangs ornaments while using a ladder to get to the higher levels, and if I must admit—he looks real happy to be doing so. There are crowds of people in Christmas attire, all walking around or doing little activities at separate stands, some kids are making snow angels in the thicker piles of snow, the ice skating rink stands behind the large tree, and there are countless other little things for entertainment that I know Angel is gonna make sure we do all of them.
“Woah is correct.. holy crap!” Misaki shouts, drawing a bit of attention—not like they seem to care, as they run off with a rushed, “Bye guys!”, to what looks like a gingerbread house making contest.
Angel sighs with a gentle smile on her lips, then waves to the three of us as she walks off to the ornament making area near the tree.
I wave bye to her and turn my attention to Ronin as soon as she turns her back.
“Ice skating.”
“Yeah sure.” He droned with a playful groan, walking off nearly immediately after.
“V, do you wanna join us?” I pause, one foot in front of the other.
“No. I’m curious to see how Misaki will use their creativity for that contest.”
“Alright. You should get some hot-cocoa or something, you know where to find me if you need me though.”
With a nod, he walks off, and I copy him, jogging back up to Ronin.
He’s currently buying us some skates since neither of us wanted to bring some, lugging those things around all day would be a bother.
We go sit on a bench to fasten the shoes, they feel weird. That’s the first thing I notice.
I stand and place weight on one foot to the other, testing out how they fit on me, then with a subtle nod to myself, I look up to Ronin to see his legs trembling like a baby deer.
Holding in a cackle with a restrained smile, I stare at him as he tries to keep a straight face—but it’s clear his eyes are twitching.
“You.. you good there..?” I cover my mouth with a fist, trying to hide the growing smile on my lips.
“Shut it..”
Ronin steps past me, only to immediately fall and slip. Which makes me let my laugh slip out.
He grips the bench behind him to try and stand on his feet, only to step on a sliver of ice and fall to the ground again.
“Ronin,” I start,
wiping a tear from my eye with my ungloved hand.
“Here.”
I extend both my arms, allowing him access to my palms—to which he immediately grabs and almost pulls me down with the amount of force he uses.
“Ack! Ronin!” I yelp,
digging my feet as firmly into the soft snow as possible.
“You offered, can’t blame me can ‘ya?”
He smirks a bit too smugly for someone who just tripped twice within a minute, but I don’t push it. I guide him into the skating rink like a parent encouraging their baby to take their first steps, and with utmost joy—we make it without any fatalities.
“Okay… so I’m going to take a safe guess and say that we should take small steps with you.. have you ever ice skated before?”
“Not in this life, doll.”
“So that’s a no.. alright.” I ponder momentarily.
It’s not like I’m the best at ice-skating. I think it’s fun, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t fallen right on my butt too many times to count.
So all I’m able to tell him is to follow my example.
“Okay, just watch what I do, okay?”
He reluctantly nods, crossing his arms before regretting it very quickly and sticking them out again for balance.
I angle my body to make sure he can see my feet clearly, and I step.
“Step, push forward with the blade at the tip of your shoe once it hits the ice, and repeat with your other foot.” I guide, keeping my head slightly low to focus on my movements and also high enough to see any people nearby.
I turn my head to look back at him, and tilt my head to encourage him to move.
He stares down at the ice like it burned him, and releases the side wall from his grip—I can see his chest inflate, and it causes me to hold my breath in anticipation.
I cautiously hover my hands by my sides, preparing to catch him if he loses his balance. And surprisingly, he pushes forward—and keeps his balance.
I dramatically clap, applauding him as if he just won first place in a race. Though, oddly enough, he doesn’t make a smart remark or jab at me. He catches himself back on the wall next to me, and mumbles something under his breath.
“What’s up?”
“..re… cher..” He whispers,
avoiding eye contact while cracking his knuckles.
“..eh?” I blankly stare.
“Holy ruler of hell. Damn. yur’... you’re a fine teacher.”
I smile and place my hands on my hips like I knew all along, but inside I’m honestly really confused.
Where is this coming from?
I can’t read his face very well, his cheeks are pink from the cold and the evening sky is dark, the dim lighting of Christmas trees and string lights doesn’t do much to let me know his reaction.
“Well, let’s keep working till you can do one of those fancy twirls in the air.”
I turn my head just as I hear him exhale a laugh, and gently press forward, the routine of step, press, and push, becoming a second nature.
Though, it does keep getting interrupted every time Ronin collapses to the ice. He’s probably done so 5 times in the last 2 minutes.
Slowly but surely, we’re making progress.
Ronin is looking less of a newborn deer, and more like a fish out of water.
“Ronin! Get up!”
“Doll. What do you think ‘m doin’?”
“Spinning around on your stomach?”
We skate for probably 30 minutes before taking a break, the time flew by so fast since I was focusing on his very slow improvements.
It’s obvious we’re both getting cold though. So I fetch some hot chocolate for the both of us while Ronin focuses on getting the shaven ice out of his pockets and crevices of clothing.
I let myself bask in the gentle environment. There’s a group of carolers singing near the Christmas tree, their high voices being gentle enough to not piece the atmosphere, there’s the scent of gingerbread wafting through the air with some pine from the trees, and in the distance I spot a few teenagers throwing snowballs at each other.
One has horrid aim.
Moving on, I continue to walk through the thinning crowd. I eventually come across Misaki at a table with her brows furrowed as she curls over her gingerbread house.
I decide to not interrupt, watching them from a few yards away. Their house is… interesting. If there’s anyone who’d be good at decorating—it would most definitely not be Misaki.
The frosting is dripping in places it most certainly is not supposed to be, the pieces of candy they’re using keep falling off, but the actual house looks good.
It seems that the contestants weren’t allowed to just use a basic house design or a kit, as none of the homes look the same. Misaki at least has enough creativity to be able to create a good base, but im afraid they used all said creativity on that.
“This is going…” V trails off,
walking up to me from behind as we both stare at Misaki work on her home.
“Mm. Yeah…”
I glance over to his hand, noticing that he’s holding something in his grasp and nearly explode of joy when I see a hot cocoa cup in his hand.
He cares enough about my opinion to listen to me?
V and I have never really been the closet. When I decided to focus on Ronin more—his at the time arch nemesis which was entirely one-sided, he most likely assumed I was just like Ronin—as to why I talked to him more.
I caught on pretty quickly that V wanted Ronin dead, and Ronin just saw it as a silly game. Because even though V was quite advanced with technology, Ronin was stubborn enough to drag this out as long as possible.
I’m honestly really glad he did.
Without Ronin making sure V couldn’t get his location, he most likely would’ve gotten killed. I don’t doubt that Ronin could kill V just as easily if he wanted, but the problem is that I don’t think he would’ve wanted to.
And if Ronin died, I wouldn’t know how to live with myself.
I had hardly known the guy for a while, but we grew close in rapid time. He was the first friend I had in years, and I would be destroyed if he was just murdered.
And I know then, if Ronin was dead—none of this would’ve been happening.
Angel would never forgive V, because despite how they aren’t dating anymore—she still cares about him, and he still cares about her. They’re friends, and Angel wouldn’t stop till V died as well.
I don’t know how Misaki would react super well, but I know they would be upset. Ronin is her friend, I know that she struggles to communicate with people outside of their little killer circle, so all their friends mean a lot to them.
While I would just cry endlessly.
I’m not a murderer, never have been, but don’t deny I never will be. Still, that doesn’t change that I’d be angry.
I would probably think about getting revenge for Ronin, as that isn’t something he’d care for—but something I’d need to recover.
Realizing that I’ve been staring at V for a little too long, I break my gaze and gently smile as I pull him into a hug.
He’s stiff, and doesn’t move, but I don’t mind.
“Thanks for having hope”
I mumble into his chest, I can feel the slight movement of him nodding, but when I pull away—his brow is raised with that familiar confused expression.
“What?”
I laugh and shrug it off, before gesturing to his cup.
“Where’s the area for the cocoa?”
He pauses, clearly still lost, but he moves his gaze over to a stand a few yards over. I smile in thanks and head over.
Buying the two drinks, I hold them momentarily—letting their warmth seep into my gloves and warm my hands. I head back over to where Ronin waits—but not before stopping by Angel.
“How’s it goin’?” I ask,
bringing one of the cups to my lips and breaking the seal with my incisors, then taking a savory sip with my eyes closed in content.
“It’s quite relaxing actually. I think I may post some photos of these.”
I look over her shoulder to glance at her work, and gently gape in awe.
It’s a heart shaped ornament with a pink background, with teeth drawn to outline the heart, with a statement in the middle saying, ‘I could just eat you up!’.
“…You’re gonna post that one?” I laugh,
downing another mouthful of hot cocoa.
“Okay well, not this one. A little too obvious... and not very Christmas themed..”
I giggle a bit more, looking at the other ornaments she had just recently created. Most are Christmas themed, all having pink or black in them, though there are a few strays where it’s clear she ran out of ideas or got side-tracked and started thinking about her… rather unconventional hobbies.
“Do you want a seat?” Angel asks,
gesturing to a chair beside her.
“Oh it’s alright. I just stopped by to see how you’re doing, Ronin and I are gonna drink a bit and maybe head back on the rink. I’m starting to think Misaki isn’t gonna skate with us…” I trail off.
She nods and smiles as I walk off, she turns her head back down to focus on her work.
“Oh! Yeah! I’ll do a few ornaments with you when we’re done.”
I add just before turning back around and walking back to Ronin.
“Found some hot chocolate! It may or may not be warm chocolate now though.”
Ronin shrugs and takes a cup from my hand as I sit down next to him. We drink in comfortable silence as the both of us take in our surroundings.
“Doll,” Ronin starts,
causing me to glance over to him over the rim of my cup as I gently hum in response.
“Can’t really believe I’m gonna be the one to have to do this, but ‘ya left me no choice at this point.”
I raise a brow, but don’t interrupt.
“You know, ‘m kinda disappointed in ‘ya. This is the whole sappy lovey romance setting yud’ die for. So I’ll just spit it out,”
“You’re my companion to rot, to this whole hell. And ‘ya don’t even complain ‘bout it. I ain’t easy, I know it. So ‘ya should stay with me as more than just people.”
“…What?”
“Date me, darl’.”
I pause, my brain stops working and I think I might’ve exploded. My face feels warm despite the cold that was previously piercing my cheeks, and my hands start getting sweaty in an instant.
I open my mouth to speak, but I don’t even know what to say. When I think about how I feel about Ronin, the thoughts that come to mind are how I care about him, how I wanna spend time around him for as long as possible, and how I wanna see him happy.
He looks smug like he already knows what I’m gonna say, but he’s considerate enough—or maybe just enjoying my embarrassment—to let me think.
It’s not like I feel a pit in my stomach, or anything of the like. My heart didn’t sink and I didn’t get uncomfortable, I just feel… sheepish?
“I-…Okay.” I stumble out,
avoiding eye contact with him just as he was doing earlier in the day.
He cackles to himself like the maniac he is, and I place the cocoa down so I can hug him full force. I bury my face into his thick, over the top, ugly Christmas sweater that he insisted would be hilarious to wear—to only go into a side rant about how Christmas was a stupid idea.
Though, it’s the right amount of warm and cold to not overcook my face—so I’m grateful.
“Yes!” A voice shouts.
I pause in my thoughts, and Ronin just barely finishes laughing before he chokes and starts laughing once again. I tilt my head and see Misaki, V, and Angel, standing a few feet away from our little moment.
Misaki is holding a camera in one hand as they dance around V, trying to dance with or around him but he’s resistant.
“I feel like I’m missing a piece of information here..” I comment,
separating from the hug as Ronin catches his breath.
“Ronin told us he was asking you out today! So we’re just being the ever so kind friends and supporting the two of you.” Misaki drags out in a honeyed tone,
giggling to themselves as they twirl around once more.
I pause and feel my face grow hotter. He… he what?
I guess I have low standards, but I really didn’t think Ronin would plan something like this just for me. He knows how much I loved Christmas when I was younger despite him very much hating it, so he organized this whole event just for this?
“Ronin, you’re an absolute devil.” I mumble as I hug him again.
“Proud of it.”
While the night is still young, Angel convinces all of us to do all of the activities before they light the tree.
We start off with the ornaments—as I promised.
I sit next to Ronin and Misaki, when I glance over to see what the two are doing it gives me a confidence boost about my art, so I keep drawing.
“Angel! You should post about this!” Misaki exclaims, not breaking eye contact with her ornament grasped tightly in her hand.
I gently sigh and shake my head as I hear Angel laugh.
“She said that when I was here earlier, while she was painting something cannibal inspired.”
“Eh, people would eat that up. It’s a good show.”
I pause, glancing over to them. Their tongue is slightly sticking out of the side of their mouth as they move their face closer to add details.
“I… alright…” I sigh once more,
not even bothering to correct her.
We add some sealant spray to all of our ornaments, and I glance over to see what everyone made.
I’m pretty sure V drew a snake twisted with Christmas lights, it suits him, and is honestly pretty cute.
While moving onto Angel, I mentally prepare myself to see something that has nothing to do with Christmas, but suprisingly—I end up seeing an Angel.
Like, a literal angel holding a star.
“You signed your signature so people know you were here?” I jest,
watching as she sighs and shakes her head as if disciplining a child.
“I saw a few other angel designs.” V adds, rummaging through the markers to get Misaki a color for a final touch.
“Mm… I’m telling you they stole Angel’s idea..” I sigh,
moving over to glance at Ronin’s ornament.
It’s something I’d expect of Ronin, a skull hanging itself with a wreath and garland… I guess it’s festive enough?
I give him a pat on the back along with an A for effort then stare at Misaki’s work which lies next to mine.
Just like the gingerbread house, it’s really interesting.
I’m a little confused as to what it’s supposed to be in all honesty, but I don’t think I want to ask. It looks to be a cat, but the colors are so distracting it’s difficult to make out certain shapes.
I watch as they continue to add smaller details for a while, and then decide to go and seal my ornament.
It’s nothing super advanced, but I think it’s sweet. It’s the 5 of us all doodled together with a Christmas tree behind us.
I have so much to thank my friends for, but I struggle putting my feelings into words. There’s so many words to choose from, but it feels like none are as specific and important to use to describe my feelings.
They’ve all improved my life substantially. Even though they all stressed me to death for the first few months, I understand them now, and they understand me.
I think I understand the feeling I was missing out on now. It’s different than what I thought it’d be.
It’s not something serious or permanent, it’s quite the opposite. It’s a fleeting moment of peace, where you’re allowed to just be yourself without fear of being judged while possessing the knowledge that you’re loved.
And now that I’m experiencing it for myself, I get why people would stay around their friends so much. It feels so freeing, there’s no pressure to be anything when they’re your true friends who care. I always thought it’d feel restricting, like you’d be limited to what you can and can’t do.
That only applies to relationships that aren’t real, or mutually wanting to be friends. Because these murderers have taught me that love is a natural thing that only grows with pure intentions and purpose.
We tried to do as many things as we could before the tree lighting, this included but was not limited to cookie decorating, caroling, a scavenger hunt, and Christmas trivia.
Surprisingly, for someone who hates Christmas an awful lot, Ronin was really good at the trivia.
As of right now, everyone is huddled together around the tree. The atmosphere is thick with excitement to see the lights and the ornaments that everyone created, with each exhale from my nostrils there’s a puff of vapor. It has definitely dropped a bit, and somehow—it’s still snowing.
I’m practically glued to Ronin for warmth, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder a few minutes ago, and Misaki has been vibrating with excitement. They were really eager when spotting their ornament being placed on the tree, and made our group stand in a different location so we’d be able to see it.
The crowd hushes as the announcer’s voice rings out throughout the cool air, he clears his throat momentarily and starts speaking.
“Merry Christmas everyone! And welcome to the national tree lighting of 2025!”
The people around us cheer with hoots and laughter, as I peer around I even notice some children that managed to convince their parents to stay this late, sitting on said parent’s shoulders.
“We would like to thank you all for being here today on this snowy winter evening, and spread our gratitude for helping decorate the tree to those who made any ornaments.”
“And to celebrate the season of giving, we will be giving everyone in the audience a gorgeous sight of the tree that everyone worked together to make so beautiful.”
“So everyone prepare their eyes and their spirits for the lovely vision you will be seeing in…”
The large projector that was placed above the tree just in between two streetlights suddenly had a 10 second countdown, to which the crowd immediately caught onto what to do.
“10!”
Standing here has made me realize something.
“9!”
I’m in the cold, yes.
“8!”
And I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t tired.
“7!”
But I don’t feel exhausted in the slightest.
“6!”
When I look around me and see my friends:
“5!”
Misaki, with a massive smile on their face,
“4!”
Angel, smiling so gently with peace in her eyes,
“3!”
V, finally looking calm for once in his life,
“2!”
And Ronin, with the light casting his face so gently,
“1!”
I think that no matter what my friends get me into, whether that be a good or bad thing, I’d be okay with it. Because they make me happier than anything else in this world, and give me a reason to get out of bed every morning—and that’s worth more than any value of money.
“0!”
“Merry Christmas!”
The crowd cheers, everyone bursting into applause as the tree lights up from the bottom up. The electricity swirls through till it reaches the star at the very top, causing everyone to be faced with the warm lighting blurring with the falling snow.
Safe to say, Misaki adds to the cheering when she notices her ornament, whipping out their camera and taking photos.
I turn my head to look at Ronin, just to find him already staring at me.
“You need something?” I ask,
smiling when I notice the smirk I normally see on his face is much gentler than usual.
“Yeah.”
Just as I’m about to question him further, he leans in and places his lips against mine. My eyes widen as he does so, but I don’t resist.
I wrap my arms around his neck as we lean in further, it’s a little awkwardly positioned since Ronin started laughing into the kiss, but he pulls away with a slight lick to my bottom lip.
We stare at each other momentarily before I lay my head on his chest.
We sit like this for a bit. The people around slowly disperse into their own groups to return home, there’s some who linger and some who even go back for a last minute treat at one of the stands.
We pull away once we notice Misaki returning with a soft pretzel in hand, I watch as they take a massive bite.
“Thought you said the food here would be expensive?”
They rip a piece off as they hand one to Angel after hearing her stomach—quite loudly, growl, and then shove an even larger chunk into their mouth.
“Oh it is! I just took this. They wouldn’t be eating it anyways.”
V stares at her, purely dumbfounded. He’s clearly trying to distinguish whether or not she’s being sarcastic or not, but Misaki is not one to waste food—so unfortunately I know she’s telling the truth from her pretzel-filled mouth.
“This is real lovely and all, but I’m sure ‘yur all gonna freeze out ‘ere. Loser’s apartment, we return.”
“My apartment?” I ask, confused at the sudden statement.
“Yup. Let’s go.”
We all get back into the car after a few minutes of walking to the parking lot. I inwardly groan as I realize the inside of the car is gonna be cold for the good beginning of the ride.
“Ronin… please turn on the damn heater.” I mumble into my coat,
I somehow feel more comfortable around him, from what I’ve always seen online—the first majority of your relationship is awkward, kinda like when you’re first becoming friends.
But so far, I just feel closer to him. I accepted the new relationship with little to no resistance and now it doesn’t feel as distant as I was expecting, I’m not upset about that in the slightest.
I hear him quietly laugh, despite knowing he's just as cold as the rest of us with no doubt.
The engine roars to life as he jams the rusty keys into the slot and twists. With a small glance at the rearview mirror, I spot Misaki lazily chewing on the remains of their stolen pretzel while just barely managing to cling onto consciousness.
In all honesty–I’m fighting the urge to fall asleep as well.
Today was a long day, and I loved every minute of it. I spent the entire Christmas with my friends doing as many Christmas related activities as possible, so despite how tired I feel—I don’t regret a thing.
The car ride feels much swifter now, with Misaki being completely knocked out and Ronin on the aux playing a song I’ve heard too many times to count, the time seems to move by much faster.
We sit in silence, save for the occasional honk and people yelling on the streets. Though, even with that, no external sound seems to interrupt the quiet peace we all bask in.
And because of the little to no traffic we drive through, we get to my apartment in less than an hour.
Once we exit the car, I drag Misaki out of the passenger seat and get them on their feet. She whines in complaint but gives in once Angel tells them its warmer inside–which is half a lie, I don’t have the best heating–but I don’t comment when I notice it's working.
Stepping into the stairwell, we all slowly lug ourselves up the stairs to the 3rd floor, where I take the lead and exit into the hallway.
Unlocking my door, Misaki hurls herself towards my couch. My living room is still filled with presents and wrapping paper scattered about.
We decided to spend Christmas at my house this year, so everyone came over around 10am and brought a few gifts for everyone to open. I watched everyone open their gifts just like any parent on Christmas with their coffee mug in hand, and I fully understand why they smile so much when they’re just watching people open gifts.
It feels rewarding to see people you love feel comfortable expressing their joy over presents, and knowing that you were the one to give them said presents–or at least some of them–is just the cherry on top.
“I’m gonna put on a movie, any suggestions?” Angel asks while peeling off her snow covered shoes,
placing the pair on a towel V found in my hall closet.
“The Nightmare Before Christmas!” Misaki suddenly perks up from the couch,
grabbing the remote before Angel got the chance to.
I shrug off my coat, hanging it along with everyone else’s. Ronin heads to my kitchen and rummages through my cabinets as soon as his shoes fly off, which causes me to realize Misakai still has her shoes on.
“Misaki! Shoes!”
They wiggle out of their shoes and stand to toss them over to the towel, somehow not missing completely and getting the majority of their shoes on the surface. They sit back on the couch, making room this time so Angel, V and I have space to sit as well.
“Where’s ‘yur popcorn?” Ronin asks from down the hall.
“Bottom left cabinet, in the back… I think?”
I hear him hum in response as Misaki scrolls through the movie selection my TV offers, she finds the movie she got so excited about, and chooses it.
They lean over to grab their bag and take some gingerbread out, handing some over to each of us as the intro begins, I hear the popcorn popping in the microwave last for a few minutes before Ronin returns with a bowl filled with the snack.
He crashes onto the couch next to me and I glance over to him with a gentle smile as he places an arm over the back of the couch. We readjust the popcorn bowl to be in the middle of our group and we all nibble on our food in a comfortable silence–the movie being the only sound around us.
Ronin moves me around so I can relax into his lap. Keeping my back to his chest, he wraps his arms to hold my torso while he uses my shoulder to rest his head.
He’s so warm, and now that he took off the sweater, it’s one of the rarer occasions where he’s just in a T-shirt with no hoodie or long sleeve.
I always adore whenever he has his arms bare. The subtle aroma of his natural body scent soothes me like no other, and the warmness that somehow manages to radiate from his cold body mixes with it wonderfully.
He keeps me steady in his grasp, and I feel the rise and soft fall of his chest against me. The steady routine relaxing me.
My gaze slowly starts to blur as my eyelids slowly start to close. The gentle peace of the moment while being surrounded by people who care about me as much as I love them is lulling me to sleep faster than any amount of melatonin could.
So as I lean against Ronin on this snowy Christmas night, I’m able to breathe in the pine scent from the tree in the corner of my living room, and close my eyes to let myself rest, knowing fully that I’ll wake up surrounded by the best people in my life.