Chapter Text
“Captain—”
“Chakotay, I’m sure you can manage whatever crisis you’re about to tell me about.”
“But Captain—”
“I’m two feet away from my quarters and when that door closes I am off the clock for the next seventy two hours—”
“I know, but if you’ll just listen—”
“—or the Doctor will relieve me of command and then I won’t be much help at all, will I?”
“Kathryn!”
Kathryn sighed and pressed her forehead against door. She grumbled a near silent “What is it,” hoping Chakotay would take the hint and leave her alone.
“Q is on the bridge.”
Her shoulders slumped as she pressed further into the door.
“Let me guess. He has some pressing demand that only I can fulfill.”
“Not him. The other one. His, what is she, girlfriend? Wife?”
“Partner, Chuckles. My, my, have you been working out?” Q grinned like the Cheshire Cat she was, teeth clenched as she purred, “That uniform is tight in all the right places. Just like mine!”
Kathryn keyed in her code and stepped inside the doorway without turning around. She heard Chakotay yelp, but he was on his own.
“Oy! Knock it off!”
“Oh, come on, you’ve been wanting someone to squeeze those buns for months. The least you could do is thank me.”
“The least you could do is ask before—”
Kathryn closed the door to her quarters as Q and Chakotay bickered outside. She leaned her back against the door and stared at her boots that definitely needed a shine.
“Computer, lock these doors and deny access to everyone except me. Good luck, Chakotay.”
“He’s not the one who needs luck.”
Kathryn groaned.
“Not you, too.”
“Hello, my darling Kathy!”
“Q!”
“Yes?”
“Not you, her!”
“Yes? You! What are you doing here?!”
“You said you were visiting my favorite starship captain in the Delta sector—”
“Quadrant,” Kathryn mumbled as she flopped onto her sofa. So much for time off.
“Quadrant, of course, madame captain. Anyway, I would be remiss if I didn’t pop by as well.”
“No, you came here to thwart my efforts! It won’t work, Q!”
“Oh, won’t it?”
“It won’t!”
“It will!”
“It won’t!”
“It could!”
“It won’t!”
“It might!”
“Stop! Dear god, please just shut up. Is there no one in the Continuum that can give you some marital counseling? Why do you have to bicker here, now, while I’m on leave?!”
“My, my, Kathy, you must be worn out. Look at you!” Q flopped on the couch next to Kathryn and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “Spewing your feelings all over the place. Where’s my stoic Valkyrie gone?”
Q sat elegantly on her other side and ran her hand along Kathryn’s thigh.
“We agreed she would be my Valkyrie this weekend if I won the bet and I did.”
“You didn’t play fair.” Q brushed his hand along Kathryn’s cheek. “She didn’t play fair, Kathy.”
Q threaded her fingers through Kathryn’s hair and gently tugged. Kathryn tried to cover her gasp with an exasperated sigh.
“Neither did you and I still beat you.”
Q glared at Q. Kathryn glanced back and forth, trying to decide who she could break first.
“Listen, please, just… remove your hands.”
Q pouted. Q frowned. Neither removed their hands.
“I think we all know I can’t fix your domestic squabbles.”
“This isn’t a squabble. It’s a fight for dominance.”
“Over me?!”
“No, each other. You’re simply a conduit.”
“How crude! I’d call you a bridge over troubled waters.”
“A middle man.”
“The switch that can turn us both on.”
Kathryn’s brows channeled her annoyance.
“You’ve got better compliments than he does, not that that’s saying much.”
Q smirked at Q, who gawked in protest for just long enough to let Kathryn slip down to the floor and scramble across the room.
“Kathy, don’t play hard to get. We’ve already got you.”
“I don’t think so, Q.”
“You haven’t even heard my offer, Kathryn. May I call you Kathryn?”
“I don’t want to hear it.”
“You’d be denying yourself something wonderful.”
“Denial it is. Goodbye.”
“Is she always this stubborn?”
“Glorious, isn’t she?”
“Mmm, that she is.”
“Oh, I love when you hum like that. Do it again.”
“Make me!”
Kathryn rolled her eyes and went to wash her face, hoping the water would drown out the sounds of Q and Q sloppily making out. Three days to herself and this is what happens? She felt cursed. Not a single moment of peace in this damn quadrant.
When she stood up from the sink, both Qs flanked her. Q had on a ridiculous holographic leather harness, collar, and thong that left nothing to the imagination. (Unfortunately.) Q had donned a deep purple silk robe adorned with ostrich feathers, her lacy lingerie peaking out from underneath in an obscenely tantalizing way. (Fortunately…?)
“I know, it’s divine, isn’t it? I thought you’d like it.”
“But you don’t like mine?”
“I don’t like any of this. Please, just—”
“But I haven’t even told you my plan yet, darling Kathryn.”
“Nor mine!”
Kathryn sighed and attempted to exit the bathroom. Both Qs placed their hand across the doorway to block her path. She tried to duck under their arms, but they overlapped their legs, making escape impossible.
“If you tell me your plan and I’m not interested will you leave me out of it?”
“Very well. But we’ll still have our fun here even if you don’t indulge. It’s a perfectly cozy spot for a romantic weekend.”
“My quarters are more romantic than the entire universe… great.”
“Yes, and since the door is locked, you’ll just have to watch all the fun without joining in.”
Kathryn fixed her gaze on Q. He raised an inquisitive eyebrow.
“Will you make it more interesting this time? Because if you’re going to sit in my room with your pointer fingers touching for three days I will be very disappointed.” Q had no response, just a stupid look on his face.
“Mmmm, yesss, Kathryn, now you’re getting it.”
Kathryn twisted her gaze up to Q, whose lips parted slightly and pupils dilated. Kathryn leaned in closer. “What’s your plan, Q?”
Q grinned wickedly and leaned down to whisper in Kathryn’s ear. She planted her hand on Q’s face to keep him at arms length so he couldn’t listen in, which naturally infuriated him.
“Ouch! What are you telling her?”
Every syllable Q whispered sent a shiver down Kathryn’s spine. She felt her heart rate increase, her breath hitch, her belly glowing—and when Q left a well-placed kiss on her throat, she couldn’t hold back a moan.
“She never let me do that to her!”
“Do what?”
“The whispering thing!”
Kathryn smirked at Q over her shoulder. “There are some things you simply can’t do, Q.”
“Face it. You’re outgunned.”
“Outgunned! Outrageous!” Q stormed over to the bed and sat down in a huff. Q followed and snapped a smattering of sex toys into existence around the room. She stood with the authority of a goddess—
“I am a goddess, so of course I’m standing like this!”
But Kathryn stayed in the doorway, considering her options. She was most likely stuck in this peculiarly kinky limbo. Frankly, she was too tired to find a way to avert this… experience. She could either spend three days honing her torture endurance techniques or play along.
“Playing along would be much more fun.”
“For all three of us.”
Kathryn glowered at both Qs.
“Sorry. Please, continue with your internal monologue.”
“Thank you,” Kathryn muttered.
She tried to let her thoughts process without worrying how Q or Q felt about it. Q had assured her she had the right to refuse at any point, that she had full control of her faculties, and that what happened in the Delta Quadrant could stay in the Delta Quadrant.
Good god, am I seriously considering this?
“Yes, you are.”
She placed her hands on her hips as she paced towards the viewport. Did she have any experience with threesomes? No. Did she have any experience with fucking omnipotent beings? No. But she knew her way around more than a few of the sex toys littering the room.
“Oh, that’s perfectly delightful, Kathryn! I had no idea you were so well versed!”
“Kathy, darling, you must understand that what she offers pales in comparison to what I pro—“
Kathryn pressed a finger on Q’s lips to silence him without deigning to look at him. She let the slightest of smiles play across her lips as she gazed with hooded eyes at Q.
“I might say yes if you gag him.”
“Anything for you, my darling Kathryn.”
Q snapped her fingers and suddenly Q had a formidable ball gag secured to his face. He started to mumble in protest. Or was it pleasure?
“It’s pleasure. He likes being used. Don’t you, pet?”
Q nodded.
“If I’d known you were this submissive I might have taken you up on your offer sooner, Q.” Q’s eyes opened wide as he regarded his madame captain. Oh, she was far more fun than Jean-Luc!
“I’d like to offer one caveat.”
“I’m listening.”
Q nodded.
“Don’t read my mind while we do this. I have no desire to make this easy for either of you.”
Q rolled his eyes before Q flicked his forehead. He squeaked and eyed his partner with as much brattiness as he could muster. She smoldered at him with an intensity that rivaled a supernova.
“We agree to your terms. Now get changed into something that’s not whatever you’re wearing.”
“You don’t like a woman in uniform?”
Kathryn matched Q’s smolder as she traced her fingers along the lace covering her—
“Shh lks cllng mm tts—”
“Huh?”
“He said ‘she likes calling them tits.’”
“You said you wouldn’t read my mind."
"Srr."
"He said 'sorry,'."
"I think there should be consequences when rules are broken.”
Q nodded emphatically. So Kathryn slapped him.
“You’ve been waiting to do that for a long time, haven’t you?”
“You have no idea.”
“I do, actually. But, pet, we promised. No mind reading. I’m sure you’ll find other rules to break. Now, as for you…”
Q cradled Kathryn’s face with just the right amount of possessiveness.
“You’d look positively irresistible wearing anything, you gorgeous little minx.”
Q tenderly pressed her lips to Kathryn’s. Her lips were unreasonably plush and soft. Fuck, it felt good to be kissed by a woman! Kathryn expected Q to pull back and make some quip, but instead, she just kissed her with more abandon. Kathryn stood on tip-toes to deepen their kiss. She anchored herself by squeezing Q’s waist, which elicited a delightful squeal and a fit of giggles. Kathryn nipped at her lower lip before pulling back. Q was grinning like the cat who’d gotten the cream, canary, hell, the whole aviary. Kathryn realized she wore the same expression. They simultaneously turned to look at Q, who was shifting in his seat with an almost cute impatience.
Well, there are worse ways to spend three days in the Delta Quadrant…