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He couldn't really remember how the interaction went. All he remembered was that his parents were dead.
It seemed like there was a woman who comforted him. But she doesn't appear in any further memories he has. His parents had died from a car crash. At that age.. It was understandable to not understand the huge impact? Or was it not?
That didn't matter to anyone else though.
"My God.. What a—heartless child.. Does he not even care??" Hushed voices soothed the background of the crash.
People had immediately gotten out in the middle of the highway out of either—horror, or—curiosity. Either one he didn't enjoy.
Kim Rok Soo's eyes reflected nothing but the blue and red lights flashing as they carried his former parents—to the ambulance.
And so.
The woman besides Kim Rok Soo the whole time held his hand tight, as if she understood his pain, despite not seeing any reaction from him. Her palms were soothing and gentle, but had a cold touch. Kim Rok Soo couldn't help but feel.. Guilty? Was he meant to be doing or feeling something? Why was everyone treating him as if he was different? Even that grip is not as worried for him. But, he kept his hand there.
And later a stern woman, wearing scrubs inside the ambulance pulled down her mask to speak to both the woman and him.
"There's no point. Their heart is showing no response. I'm sorry." She gave a slight bow, giving the minimum amount of sympathy for them. But that was understandable. She's experienced this multiple times.
———
And so, he was put in foster care.
Despite the worry that woman had shown him when she held his hand tight, whispering prayers, they were never really for him. And no other relative wanted to take care of another—or a cold child.
So at 5, he realized soon enough no one has shown as much sympathy for him. And it was all simply because he didn't react right in their opinion.
𝘚𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳
He picked up the cup quickly. A careworker at the orphanage had dropped a glass on accident in front of Kim Rok Soo.
She panicked. "Ah—no! It's alright—of course.. Don't touch the glass Kim Rok Soo it's dangerous." She crouched down to Kim Rok Soo's level just as quickly as she slowly maneuvered Kim Rok Soo's hands away from the shards of glass.
"It's fine, I can clean it—"
"No, this is a job for the adults Kim Rok Soo." She continued, picking the shards up with a tissue. "People should take care of their own mistakes. Kim Rok Soo, you can help some other time when someone needs your help." She gave a small smile.
"I'm sure they'll appreciate it."
"..."
He didn't know what to feel.
But it felt nice? He formed a small smile back as well.
"Alright."
She nodded slowly as she stood up and discarded the glass. "Ah, you can just call me noona. We're all practically family here." She slowly pointed to the name tag she carried around. "My names Dan-bi."
"Alright noona."
Dan-bi gave a quick smile as she quickly left to go calm a fight down between two 9 year olds throwing sticks at each other.
And so he stood there, now with–some new found warmth.
———
"Dan-bi-ssi" he handed her a sculpture made out of playdoh.
She looked a bit surprised but accepted it as she ruffled his hair. "So formal aren't you?" Dan-bi gave a quick thank you as she picked up Rok Soo with two hands and placed him on his chair.
"Alright!" She huffed up. "You're gonna eat broccoli with your meal and it does not matter if you like it or not! You need to stay healthy alright? Like the rest." She handed Kim
Rok soo a small soup bowl with broth, chicken, a few carrots, and broccoli. Although Kim Rok Soo gave a helpless glance towards her as she gave the rest their food she ignored it.
'He's too skinny anyways.. He needs something that'll fill him up while also staying healthy.'
So, he ate the food.
"You too! You're no exception, eat the vegetables." Dan-bi ordered a younger kid, a toddler. Maybe 3-4. But the kid instead smacked the food away and spat in her face.
"..."
"Haha.. —" Dan-bi gave a glare to the rest laughing as she left to change the soiled clothes.
....
And so, thats how the days were mostly for Rok Soo, he was often scolded when he didn't eat enough by Dan-bi-ssi.. Or applauded when he got something right. He didn't have to react differently in contrast to his actual emotions or he didn't have to show anything really. All Dan-bi cared about was that the stubborn kid was healthy.
.
Once some other kids at the orphanage were whispering about Kim Rok Soo because he was too mean in their words. He once made a girl cry because he didn't seem happy to play with her.
...
"Rok Soo!!" A girl his–age, who was called Ah-ri, came up to him with a happy look.
"Come! Come play with us! You're new right? We can be your friends! We're currently playing pirates, I'm the princess obviously." She held both of his hands at once as she excitedly added. "We need one more person to be the one who controls the boat. Do you want too?" She still held on as she waited.
"Okay."
She slightly frowned. Nobody—nobody had ever reacted so rude to an invitation by her.
So she spoke again. "Are you sure? If you don't want to, you don't have to come."
"I will."
She started tearing up a bit. She was known as a cheerful girl around the orphanage so she was super sociable and made everyone friends with her, so when someone didn't show as much enthusiasm.. She assumed they disliked her.
"It's—okay, you don't have–to come.. Hick. .." Ah-ri was sniffling a bit. She had never met anyone so mean! Why didn't he want to get along with her! So she ran away still sniffling.
Kim Rok Soo stood—dumbfounded.
And Some other kids who had an obvious crush on her turned on Rok Soo.
"Look! You made her cry! You–could've just said no!" One boy said angrily as he ran to comfort her.
"You're —so mean!" Some other girls ran after her.
And yeah. She was basically friends with everyone so everyone had turned on Rok Soo.
"..."
He couldn't understand what he had done wrong.
***
After one of the caregivers comforted Ah-ri, Dan-bi slipped besides Rok Soo. "Hey, kid what did you do?"
He didn't look up. "I just said yes when she wanted to play."
Dan-bi didn't ask further, she knew how the interaction would have played out.
She quickly ruffled his hair and walked towards Ah-ri. The girl, Ah-ri, still—sniffling a bit looked up. "Hey, so about Rok Soo he never meant to be rude." She gave a reassuring
smile.
"But he didn't look happy at all!" Ah-ri pouted.
Ahem..
'Ah Rok Soo, you're so difficult to handle.'
She sighed a bit before adding on. "You see.. Kim Rok Soo really wanted to be your friend. It's just that he can't express it well. And.. Thats because he like believes he's so cool.
'Yes. Thats it.'
"He's just too cool." Before the girl could open her mouth she quickly said. "Of course! He doesn't think he's better than anyone! He just uhm. He's pretty shy when making friends so he acts cool in hopes people will want to be friends with him but secretly—he's a very kind kid inside alright? Give him a chance." Dan-bi said with a smile as she patted the girls head and left.
Moments later.. Ah-ri came up to Rok Soo with a not–so–obvious group of friends behind her, hiding.
"I know your secret!" She blurted out.
"..?" He seemed confused.
"I know that you pretend to be cool because you secretly wish people will come up to you and be friends with you!" She exclaimed quickly.
"What—"
"It's okay! I know you're secretly very shy inside that's why you act so tough but but I'll be friends with you!" She held his hands tight together with a determined expression. "We'll hang out everyday. Everyday! And you'll get many many more friends and become less shy!"
To Rok Soo. That sounded like a threat.
"So come on! I explained to the rest about your condition so we can play now!" She dragged Rok Soo with the other crowd of kids. Despite struggling a bit.
And so—he was now, playing the role of the pirate captain, while he steered the invisible wheel. He had to constantly say captain lines like, "Throw them off the plank!" With a shout despite his tired look.
–––
"Oh Mr. Captain! You can't keep the princess tied down forever! They're gonna come for our ship!" A kid—no, a pirate spoke loudly, worried.
"Ho, and what do they know? I told them they'd have to pay up first." He felt.. So odd.. Why was he doing this? However the money part did interest him. And so he was currently holding the princess—Ah-ri, hostage as he held her tight, wrapped with a jump rope they had found looking pitiful.
"Tell my dad.. That I love him.. I'll stay with the pirate for the sake of our kingdom.!" She shouted with hurt in her face. The knight who came to save her from the evil pirates looked—hurt, shocked. But determined. He wasn't gonna let 𝙝𝙞𝙨 princess go.
"No, I won't!" He shouted. "Ah-ri—I mean princess! I will not leave you! I will follow you even to my death! I will fight for you!"
"Oh.. Kahrie..." She looked thankful but worried all at once.
And so he charged at Rok Soo with a rubber sword. Kim Rok soo dodged the few times. Still holding onto Ah-ri, the princess tight. And finally Rok Soo dodged one so well the knight fell onto the floor. Losing his sword from his hands.
"..."
That was not how the story usually played out! The knight was supposed to win! Some people thought but accepted the outcome.
"Return you fool." Still—with that expressionless stare. "I shall take care of the princess even better than any of you could have." His grip tightened.
And maybe, maybe even Ah-ri—looked flushed, her face a bit red.
She held on to him tight. "Yes.. I'm sorry you must go.. Rok soo ya is my new shining knight..!" She said looking smug as she stayed in her position.
".. ?.."
Rok Soo didn't question it much but the other guy—the knight looked shattered.
"Throw him off the board!!" Rok Soo ordered.
And so he was thrown in a ball pit.
His face was—red. He seemed a bit embarrassed but accepted the outcome. "Ahem. You did good as captain Rok Soo." He offered his hand looking away.
"You too." He shook it.
Some girls gathered up. "Alright Ah-ri.. You're no longer a hostage.." They untied the rope around her as she pouted a bit.
"Rok Soo you did good!"
"Yeah he did!"
"Ah-ri was right you're just pretending to be cool!"
Slowly a crowd gathered, just for him.
He felt.. Happy. He smiled a bit, just a bit. But that was enough for the rest to tease him.
Hands wrapped around him, Ah-ri looked up at him as she hugged him. "Rok Soo ya, what about being my knight next time?" She said as she grinned.
Rok Soo could already imagine himself being exhausted all the time.