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"WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO DEAN??!" Sam yells at Dean as he paces the room
"I don't know Sammy maybe try to be normal for once, you know what forget this I'm going out," Dean says as he pushes pass a stunned Sam. "Don't expect me back anytime soon."
Sam looks at the door then at the space where Dean was not only seconds ago, why do you always fuck shit up Sam useless is what you are!
He walks over to the bed and just like that the dam breaks, he's bawling his eyes out and crying out for Dean hoping and wishing he'll come back and they'll be able to talk calmly about everything. Ever since Dean found out about the demon blood he's been drifting away from him more and more, and it's starting to be too much for Sam.
"I could kill him for you, just so you know," A disembodied yet familiar voice suddenly says. Sam whips his head up and sees Lucifer sitting in the chair the motel room had.
"Uh no I don't think that'll solve anything, besides it was my fault that he blew up and walked out. I just can't seem to stop, I'm starting to realize how an addict feels like. It's pathetic to say the least." Sam says as he plays with a loose strand on the flannel shirt he's currently wearing.
"He fucked this up not you, and I'm not saying this simply because I want you to say yes but because I'm oddly protective of you. And for some unknown reason I care a lot about you, I think it's because I know the type of pain you're going through but either way you don't deserve to be treated badly by anyone much less your brother and love of your life." Lucifer says to Sam softly as he gets up and takes a seat next to Sam, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"What do I do, he's probably already fucking some bartender or a random stranger who's probably better looking than I am so there's no point," Sam whispers as he places his head in his hands there's unshed tears in his eyes but he refuses to let them fall he refuses to be weak.
"How about you go over to that bar and tell him you love him, tell him everything that you've been keeping bottled up. Maybe that'll help I don't quite know but I hope it does" Lucifer says standing up, holding out a hand for Sam. "Come on I know you're strong I know you can do this, what's the worst that can happen?"
"Fine but if anything goes wrong, make me say yes." He half jokingly says to Lucifer
"As much as I want you to say yes I refuse to trick you like that, I was an angel after all," Lucifer says helping Sam up. Sam walks to the door hesitantly opening the door.
"I can do this right? I mean I've done harder I've done worse. Yeah I can do it," Sam whispers to himself as he walks out turning back to tell Lucifer thank you only to be faced with a blank space. He sighs and heads to the bar determined to talk to Dean and fix their relationship.
OoooooooooooooOooooooooooooo
Dean flirts with the bartender asking him when he gets off of work. He knows he shouldn't be because he's with Sammy and he's happy with Sammy but he just needs a little fun for the night is all, after all he's drunk and drunk people make the stupidest mistakes.
"I get off in--oh will you look at that I get off right now, I guess it's your lucky day Dean," The bartender says as he goes and clocks off. Returning with a huge bright smile that makes Dean's stomach twist and definitely not in a good way. "So I know your name but you don't know mine, when were you planning on asking me?" He says as he sits next to Dean.
"Oh right so what's your name, sorry I'm usually more smooth than this don't worry," Dean nervously says
"My name's Connor and it's okay but I'm not worried." Connor says as he snakes a hand up to Dean's thigh, a little bit more and he'll be touching his jean clad crotch. Connor leans in close to his ear and whispers, "How about we take this to wherever you're staying?" while rubbing Dean's crotch through his jeans.
Dean's too drunk to actually care, hell Dean's too drunk to push him away because that's what he should do not take his chapped yet soft plump pink lips onto his. Not pulling him closer as to where he's almost sitting on his lap, not threading his fingers through his hair. No he's not supposed to be doing that he has Sam and he's waiting at the motel room probably freaking out because he's not back yet, but he's drunk and people make mistakes when they're drunk. He's human after all.
OoooooooooooooOooooooooooooo
Sam didn't expect to see Dean--his Dean--and some random dude making out. Out of everything he most certainly did not want to see that but fate just loves to twist shit up for him, life loves to toss him around and stupid him he lets them. Sam walks out calmly, as calmly as he can without causing a scene of course, heading back to the motel room, he packs his bag with all of his items. Planning to head out of the bathroom to get his bag and leave but was stopped short by a door slamming open and slamming back shut, he reaches for the gun on his waistband but then he hears a familiar voice saying something. He peaks out and is heartbroken by the sight, Dean on top of the guy from the bar kissing him--no loving him, a normal person just like he wants--whispering sweet nothings into his ear. Throughout that whole night all he can hear is their moans, their pants, the bed creaking from the weight and force put on it, all he can hear are them and it's killing him, that's how he falls asleep with the feeling of heartbreak and the thought of humiliation. When morning comes Sam gets up he walks over to the door and opens it, going straight to his packed bag clearly the movement and noise wakes Dean up. The guy from the bar is no longer there but there's a note on the table, he doesn't bother reading it just stuffs his remaining items into the bag, zipping it up and putting on his jacket then the bag.
"Sammy?" Dean calls out clearly very awake now from the bed. "What? What happened, why didn't you wait for me to get up and dressed, better yet why am I naked?" Questions coming left and right and Sam thinks to himself about what he should tell Dean, he decides to tell him the truth and he makes sure Dean can hear the pain in his voice as he speaks.
"You cheated on me, you slept with some nameless twink from the bar, you slept with him on the same bed that we made love in. You told him you loved him and you said he was amazing, you called him your baby boy and you marked him. You fucked him into the mattress and said things to him that you would say to me, but obviously you never meant those words when you said them to me, I clearly didn't mean anything to you but you mean everything to me so how is this fair? I just don't get it but maybe I get why you did it I made you mad and I'm clearly not enough so that's probably why. I mean who would want a freak that drinks demon blood after all." Sam said while wiping tears from his cheeks, he turns around and looks straight at Dean so he can see how much pain he caused Sam.
"I'm leaving now and I don't want you to follow I don't even want you to look for me. Just leave me alone because clearly all these years meant nothing to you. I'll always love you I'll never stop but I can see that you have but its okay I'm used to that its pathetic honestly," Sam finishes off as he turns and walks to the door. He's about to turn the knob and leave when a hand stops him.
"Sammy baby boy please don't do this, I was wasted and I didn't know what I was doing I'm sorry. I'll do anything just please don't leave I can't live without you." Dean pleads to Sam, he's on his knees now taking one of Sam's hands in his.
Sam goes to open his mouth but suddenly Lucifer appears and yanks Dean off of the ground and onto the chair by the door, "No you don't get to say that to him not after what you did, you don't even deserve to look at him. So what I want you to do is to let Sam leave and never look for him but if you do just know that I'll be there doing what's supposed to be your job, protecting Sammy, now Sam is gonna leave and you're gonna stay put here and think all about your drunken mistakes." Lucifer tells Dean as the room drops in temperature. He looks at Sam and nods his head signaling Sammy to leave and he does, he walks out of the door and doesn't look back not even when his name is being called over and over again like a broken record. He finds a bus stop near the motel, it says it's going to Athens, Georgia and well he's always wanted to go to Georgia so he gets on. Wishing that maybe one day he can summon up the courage to go look for Dean and face him after what just happened. But all he can do is wish and hope. Fate has a funny way of doing things.
OooooooooooooooOoooooooooooo
Even after Lucifer left, Dean still sat on the chair, looking ahead and thinking of the brutal way he just hurt the love of his life. It was like he murdered Sam and that makes him even more miserable.
"Why did you do it, let that man touch you in a way I've only ever known Samuel to touch you?" Castiel says, startled, Dean jumps a little.
"I thought I told you not to do that. But I honestly don't know I was drunk and I needed to feel something other than the anger that I felt, and Connor was there at the moment offering and I'm human and so I'm weak." Dean explains to Cas as he shakes his head pulling at a loose strand on his boxers.
"That's a very idiotic explanation, I'm very confused as to why you did it when I thought you loved Sam with all your being. Whether or not you were drunk you should've at least had a small amount of reason to stop yourself from making a drunken mistake--as Lucifer so kindly put it," Cas says while handing Dean a shirt that was on the ground.
"Yeah I'm confused too buddy I do love Sam and I'll never stop loving him, I'll give him time I'll give him space hell I'll give him all the space in the world. But I will find him and when I do I won't ever let go, I won't ever make this mistake again never I swear it," Dean says as he puts on his shirt getting up to put on his pants and shoes. Packing everything up and when he's done he's turns to Cas. "I'm an idiot and I fucked up really bad, shit."
"Yes you did but I'm sure you'll fix this because Sam will never stop loving you either no matter what you do to him, I'm sure of it but as of right now I do think it's good for you to give him his space especially when Lucifer is wanting to protect Sam. Think long and hard about how you'll go about this Dean, I wish you luck." And with that Cas leaves with a confused expression on his face still, Dean sighs and makes sure he isn't missing anything.
He finds the note, reads it and folds it, putting it in his pocket as a remainder of what happened and what he's never going to do again. Dean gets into the impala and drives he doesn't know where but he does know that there's an empty space next to him and there's an empty space in his heart, there's an ache in his chest and tears clouding his vision. But he keeps driving and he thinks long and hard about Sam and his drunken mistake.