Chapter Text
"How can you be that bad?” Jake teased through Heeseung's headphones, knowing the comment wasn’t directed at him, but rather at his roommate. Like almost all their incredible and magical college nights, Heeseung and his friends were playing LoL.
"Shut up, you guys forced me to play because you have no friends.” Jay complained. “It’s a stupid game.”
"Then you should be good at it.” Jake laughed cheerfully.
"Aish. Do you want me to come to your room and show you what I’m good at?” Jay growled. Jake burst into laughter. Given how Jay is, he probably didn’t even realize how bad that sounded. He’s terrible at verbal fights.
"Dude, that sounds way too bad.” he said between laughs.
But Heeseung was too absorbed in his thoughts, specifically, the one thought that had been circling his mind since September: Park Sunghoon. The popular and stylish Sunghoon had become his roommate. They had been living together for just over a month, and all Heeseung knew about him was that he studied photography and that he had entered the university on a sports scholarship for figure skating. Heeseung felt a certain intimidation.
He couldn’t figure Sunghoon out; he was as cold as ice. The nickname Ice Prince suited him perfectly. Plus, he was as handsome as a prince. But Heeseung didn’t know anything else: what he liked, what he disliked... He hadn't even seen him eat; maybe he was a robot. The few times he’d seen him eat something, it was bland athlete food: tasteless and joyless.
"Heeseung, you’re very quiet, have you finally gotten bored of teasing me?” Jay asked jokingly but with a serious tone. His words pulled the older one from his thoughts.
"Please, Jay, I could never...” Heeseung chuckled, somewhat falsely.
"So what are you thinking about?” asked his other friend curiously.
Heeseung sighed before replying: "About my roommate.”
"The perfect android?” Jake laughed. Heeseung let out a lazy laugh, a tongue click. Jake continued: "Come on, at least he doesn’t bother you. It must be like living alone.”
"Actually, he’s quite intimidating. He makes me nervous somehow.” the older one confessed.
"He must have a pretty inflated ego, what with the skating and all. All the girls are crazy about him, which I don't understand why...” Jay was about to start one of his long speeches until Jake interrupted him.
"You’re just jealous, dude” he laughed. “Heeseung, don’t worry, he’s probably just shy, that's all.
Heeseung let out a small sound of agreement. “Yeah, that must be it.”
That night, like almost every other, Heeseung went to bed very late in the early morning. This was another reason why he didn’t run into Sunghoon: they were like day and night. Sunghoon woke up early to go to the ice rink, while Heeseung practically slept all day except during classes.
Heeseung had barely had time to eat and prepare for a shower when Sunghoon returned from training. The older one exited the bathroom just as he nearly bumped into his roommate. Sunghoon had his hair stuck to his forehead with sweat, and Heeseung swore he shone like a vampire. In contrast, Heeseung looked disheveled: messy hair and a Superman T-shirt that hung loosely on him. A blush began to tint his cheeks.
"Oh, h... hello.” Heeseung greeted.
"Were you going to shower?” Sunghoon didn’t even return the greeting. Despite being taller, Heeseung felt very small.
"Yeah, but you can go first, no problem.” Heeseung let out a nervous laugh, maybe too much.
Sunghoon nodded in agreement, and Heeseung stepped aside. Perhaps that was the closest they had been since the handshake back in September when they met. Heeseung felt the need for the moment to last longer.
"Sunghoon” he called. “My friends are coming over for dinner tonight, ramen and chicken.”
Sunghoon slowly nodded, as if he didn’t fully understand the announcement.” “Alright, just make sure to leave everything clean afterward. I’ll be working out.”
Then he walked completely into the bathroom. For some reason, Heeseung remained stunned. It didn’t even make sense to feel disappointed by what seemed like rejection when Heeseung hadn’t invited him to anything.
...
Heeseung was serving Jake’s ramen when Jay, with his mouth full of fried chicken, pointed at something on his phone.
"Guys, look at Jungwon's story.” Jay showed his friends the mentioned post on Instagram. It was a short video of Sunghoon doing some spins, appearing a bit far away despite the zoom. There was a caption that read: “Sunghoon-hyung fighting!!! ＼(≧▽≦)／”
"I’ve heard he’s going to participate in an important competition or something soon.” Jay explained. “But I didn’t know he and Jungwon were friends.”
Heeseung began feeling a growing irritation inside him. Somehow, it hurt his pride, just his pride.
"I’ve seen them with Sunoo too, the guy who went to my school” Jake shrugged. “I’m sure those two are like ticks, and Sunghoon doesn’t know what to do with them.”
"I guess, ” Jay said with a small laugh. Just then, everyone's phone vibrated with a new message.
Ni-ki fetus
SERIOUSLY, YOU GUYS HAD DINNER WITHOUT ME AGAIN
You exclude me for not being in college
Jay new phone
Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping? hahaha
sorry, rikiiii
next time I’ll treat you to ice cream!
Ni-ki fetus
I’m not 5 dude
But you did say it, huh
The rest of dinner went normally: after finishing their food, they started playing Mario Kart, and as usual, Jay and Jake ended up arguing about who was cheating. Heeseung was lazily scrolling through Instagram when Jungwon’s story popped up, and a thought crossed his mind; or, if it was possible, crossed his heart because that thought had nothing to do with logic.
He felt a mix of emotions regarding Sunghoon, the kind that stirred a restlessness he didn’t entirely understand. Why did the idea of Sunghoon having friends make him feel uneasy? Why did he care? Those questions swirled in his mind like the noodle broth in the bowl he was serving. He wished he could have an answer but felt more lost than before.
"Guys, I’m going to take out the trash before the truck comes” Heeseung announced into the air. His friends were too focused on their game.
"Uh-huh, okay” Jake was the only one who replied; Jay was too busy trying to regain control of the controller to keep playing.
Heeseung grabbed the small garbage bag with the ramen and chicken containers. He noticed there was some leftover chicken with sweet sauce on the table, so he took that as well.
By mid-October nights, the cold was starting to lose its pleasantness. Heeseung felt his cheeks begin to adopt a slight flush. The light pollution from the streetlamps prevented him from seeing the stars clearly.
Once he disposed of the trash, Heeseung began walking almost briskly, still clutching the leftover chicken. He wasn't quite sure why, but he was going to look for Sunghoon.
There was a sort of rage propelling him, a frustration of wanting to say, “Hey, I’m here, look at me, why don’t you notice me?” But Heeseung knew that once he stood in front of him, at his mercy, he would have no choice but to surrender and kneel before the Ice Prince.
He arrived at the sprawling campus gym and asked for the ice rink, which, of course, he had never visited in his life. After receiving the necessary directions, he headed that way.
He pushed open the heavy doors of the venue and felt the cold wash over him. It was completely empty; Jungwon had posted the story about two hours ago, so he assumed he must have already left. There was only one slender figure on the rink, gliding lightly, as if the air itself were moving and pushing him along.
Park Sunghoon wore a tight black tracksuit that contrasted sharply with his pale skin, making the color of his attire appear even more vibrant. In the background, the faint melody of a song could be heard. Heeseung felt a shiver run down his spine. He edged closer to the rink, like a wandering pirate enchanted by the song of a siren. But in this case, it wasn’t any song but the precise movements of the perfect Sunghoon, who seemed lost in his world. His face was expressionless; Heeseung would go so far as to say it looked sad. But why would a prince like him be sad?
That was until Sunghoon noticed the presence of his roommate. His serious expression shifted to one of surprise. His thick eyebrows raised slightly. For a brief moment, they locked eyes in silence.
"Heeseung” he stammered. To Heeseung, it was surprising that he knew his name. Heeseung swore he could see an unexpected reddish hue on Sunghoon's cheeks. He thought it must be due to the cold.
"Huh... Sunghoon” escaped his mouth abruptly. “I... just wanted to know if you really wouldn’t be having dinner at home.
An almost comical silence followed.
Heeseung watched a mischievous curve appear on Sunghoon’s lips.
"You could’ve just sent me a message, you know, on your phone.” Sunghoon replied. Was there mockery in his voice? Heeseung felt a sudden urge to laugh.
"True.” Heeseung let out an awkward laugh. He wanted to change the subject. “...I brought chicken.”
Sunghoon’s expression was truly inscrutable, and Heeseung wondered if he’d been staring too long, but he couldn't help himself.
"Fried chicken. Sweet sauce” he repeated nervously. “Just in case you’re hungry.”
Finally, they broke eye contact.
"Sorry, that doesn’t fit into my diet.” was the last thing Sunghoon said before he executed a sharp turn on his razor-sharp skates. For a moment, Heeseung felt that the ice, victim to Park Sunghoon’s blades, mirrored his own heart.
The night grew darker and deeper.
Unlike how he had come, Heeseung walked back slowly, wondering if his brief encounter had changed Sunghoon's day as much as it had changed his own.
… ☼
Heeseung didn't see Sunghoon for the rest of the night, not even in the morning. Although that was already a habit.
He would never admit that he tried to look for him in the cafeteria while having breakfast. He didn’t find him. He sat with his friends at the corner of a long table.
"I can never guess what he's thinking.” Heeseung said with a sigh. Of course, he was talking about Sunghoon. His friends already knew, they knew even before he said it.
"You know what? I heard that he came in today with a girl, and they apparently spent the night together.” Jay said, lowering his voice slightly.
Suddenly, the egg in Heeseung's mouth stopped tasting so good. He was stunned. Sunghoon with a girl? Park Sunghoon? Heeseung thought Sunghoon was incapable of feeling any desire at all.
"Don’t lie.” Jake replied, surprise in his eyes. His hands were trying to open a packet of cookies.
"I swear. And I've been told the girl is gorgeous.” he said playfully.
"Dude, we need to confirm this.” he responded. Jake spun around to look for someone who could confirm that information, and there it was: Kim Sunoo, who was chatting with Jungwon while they drank some flavored milk. They seemed to be handing out flyers for something.
Jake tried to make eye contact to gesture for him to come over. But Jay, with less patience, shouted, and quickly, the two turned around, Sunoo making a disgusted face. Both guys approached quickly.
"Park Jongseong, don’t shout at me like that, it’s…!” Sunoo threatened, pointing a finger at the guy, but was interrupted by Jake, who lightly shook him by the arm.
"Excuse him, Sunoo, he doesn’t have many friends.” Jake explained. He received a harmless smack from his friend.
"Ugh.” Sunoo rolled his eyes. Despite his facial expressions, it was really hard to genuinely annoy him, especially when it came to these dorks. Sunoo had managed to keep a soft spot for them. “Alright, what’s up?”
"Guys, we wanted to know something.” Heeseung started. His voice was naturally soft, making it perfect for when someone needs to get information. With that voice, it was easy to ask for whatever you wanted. “Is it true that Sunghoon spent the night with a girl?”
Sunoo looked surprised by the question. He probably didn’t understand why someone like Heeseung, usually indifferent to gossip, would be curious about serious Sunghoon.
"Ah, since when are you guys so nosy? It’s none of your business!” Sunoo declared firmly. Though the transparency on his face was more than a confirmation for Heeseung “… Look, I’m going to give you this and then I'm leaving. I hope to see you at Halloween!”
Heeseung took the paper Sunoo was offering. It was an announcement for the Halloween party being organized at the university. He handed one to each of them and turned to leave, but before he did, he paused and said:
"Oh, and no coming as Star Wars characters! Especially if it's Chowbacca!” he shot a meaningful look at Jake.
"Chewbacca!” Jake quickly corrected him, exasperated.
"Nerd.” Sunoo murmured before leaving for good.
Jungwon, who had been silent, finally spoke. His round eyes and sweet smile always fooled everyone; because he was actually the most mischievous. “Guys, do you really want to know about Sunghoon?”
Heeseung felt curiosity spark again in the conversation.
"Yes” they all replied almost in unison.
"You see, Sunghoon went to dinner with a friend of his, Sooha or something like that. She’s really cute. And this morning they were together at uni, Sunghoon was showing her around while they walked.” Jungwon spoke as if it were juicy royalty gossip. “I think they've known each other since childhood because of their families.”
Heeseung listened to Jungwon's words with a furrowed brow. An unfamiliar anger began to grow inside him. He identified it as something like envy. Seriously, what does it take to win over Park Sunghoon's affection?
"No way " Jake stammered. “… Do you guys think Sunghoon has a penis?”
He couldn’t finish the sentence well because he got a friendly smack from Heeseung. Jungwon seemed amused by the situation.
"Honestly, I can’t confirm that they are anything.” Jungwon reflected. “He doesn’t seem like the type to want a relationship.”
"Look.” Jay said while patting Heeseung's arm twice. He gestured with his head towards the large window of the cafeteria.
Sunghoon was there, walking elegantly with light, calm steps. He had a girl with shiny, straight brown hair linked to his arm. She was a head shorter than him. She pointed at things cheerfully, and Sunghoon seemed to explain what they were. He had the same serious expression as always, except for a hint more serenity in his demeanor.
"I understand she’s a bit younger. She’s not in college yet.” Jungwon clarified. Everyone was watching the scene.
Heeseung thought they looked like they had stepped out of a drama. Their image was striking, glowing in the sunlight. Heeseung knew he couldn’t compete against something like that.
…
"Man, can’t you see you’re offbeat?” Ni-ki pointed out, frustrated. Although he wasn’t really angry, they rarely got seriously upset with each other.
"Me? Dude, u gonna need to clean your ears...” Jake complained, picking up his drumsticks with one hand and approaching the younger guy.
They practiced four times a week; it was what bound them together and helped them escape from everything. Music truly can be a lifeline. But tonight, Heeseung's mind was so clouded that no melody could clear it.
"Alright, alright. Why don’t we call it a night?” Jay said, stepping between Ni-ki and Jake. His guitar still hung from his shoulder, which he pushed aside. “Besides, we’ve got something important to discuss.”
Everyone looked up at the guy who was speaking. Jay pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from his pocket. “The Halloween party.”
Ni-ki let out a sound resembling a "Wo-hoo!” and snatched the paper from Jay’s hands.
"You’re not even a college student.” Jake huffed, accusingly pointing with his drumsticks.
"As if that matters.” The younger one shrugged and continued reading aloud from the flyer. “We have to go!”
"I don’t know, man… last time we didn’t even have that much fun.” Heeseung mumbled, playing with his hands. He was the oldest of the group, but sometimes acted like the baby.
"Because of Jake! But this time, I’ll make sure he doesn’t ruin it for us.” Ni-ki said, a teasing smile on his lips, patting his friend's head like he was a puppy.
"Huh? My fault?” Jake frowned.
"How am I supposed to flirt with a Chewbacca following me around?”
"Traitor, you said it was cool.” Jake crossed his arms. The conversation sparked some laughter among the friends.
"Okay, okay,” Jay said, wrapping an arm around Jake's shoulders. “This year, let’s dress up as something normal, like everyone else.”
There was a brief silence as the guys seemed to think if they were capable of doing that.
"Come on, we can’t be the losers who stay home playing video games forever.” Jay pointed out. “Plus, we spend way too much time together, it's a lot of testosterone. At some point, we gotta have contact with a woman, right?”
Another brief silence followed.
"I don’t think there’s much testosterone around here.” Ni-ki's funny comment made everyone laugh.
"Ugh, are we going or not?” Jake said, still laughing.
Then everyone turned to Heeseung, like kids looking to their dad to let them buy the toy they really want. Heeseung seemed deep in thought, and then a thought, more like an image, popped into his mind: Sunghoon at a party, drinking and dancing.
“I guess it could be fun.” Heeseung confirmed.
…
When Heeseung was alone in the small apartment, he kept the lights dim. He liked the darkness. The only things illuminating the living room at that moment were the TV and a small lamp over the kitchen.
Heeseung was dressed in baggy sweatpants and socks; his torso was bare, except for a small white towel wrapped around his neck. He had just taken a shower. His damp hair fell elegantly over his forehead. He wondered if Sunghoon was training or hanging out with Sooha. Or maybe both. He took a spoonful of the ice cream he was holding.
Then he heard someone unlocking the door to the apartment. It had to be Sunghoon. Heeseung felt a sudden wave of nerves, as if he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t be, but unless Sunghoon could read minds, he was in the clear.
The prince completely entered the residence. He had his gym bag and his tousled, damp hair; he had just showered too. Heeseung felt a slight relief.
Sunghoon finally looked up and was met with the sight of Heeseung and his bare torso, his skin subtly tanned, or at least more than Sunghoon’s (though that wasn’t hard). The dark-haired guy seemed momentarily speechless, distracted by something else.
"There you are.” Heeseung pointed out the obvious. In his defense, sometimes words just slip out.
"Of course, I sleep here.” Sunghoon said after clearing his throat. He looked down again and headed off to drop his bag somewhere.
"Right.” He mumbled with a silly laugh. “I thought you’d be…”
Heeseung tried to finish the sentence but found himself unable when Sunghoon's shiny, deep black eyes seemed to pierce his soul. He had never felt so stupid in his life.
"I thought you’d be with your girl, you know, like last night.” Heeseung felt as if it wasn’t him speaking, but rather the bundle of nerves that had been growing inside him since he met Park Sunghoon. He couldn’t understand why he acted this way around this guy.
Sunghoon’s eyebrows raised just slightly, almost unnoticeable if it weren’t for the fact that Heeseung was paying close attention. He noticed a blush starting to decorate Sunghoon’s soft cheeks, and Heeseung felt the urge to cover his exposed chest.
"You shouldn’t make assumptions like that.” the prince ordered. He turned to head to his room, and Heeseung swore he did it with such grace that he even felt the breeze of his imaginary cape.
"... She’s not my girl.” Sunghoon muttered under his breath, but the older one heard him well; all his senses were focused on him.
Heeseung felt something bounce in his heart. Because this was the first time Sunghoon wanted to share something with him. He could have brushed off Heeseung's comment, but he chose to clarify it. It was the first time Heeseung thought his companion might actually feel something, even if it was just the desire to clear things up.