Archive of Our Own

A few things started to change in SEKAI after Rui and Tsukasa started dating.

When Rui first visited a few days after they got together, he noticed a faint rainbow far in the distance, beyond the trains in the sky. The plushies also started treating him differently: a bit clingier, they’d crowd around Rui whenever he was alone asking what he was up to. The plushies would mostly act normal around Rui whenever they entered as a group, however.

The rainbow stayed, initially. Then Emu-kun pointed it out excitedly, Tsukasa had seemed to pale a bit, but laughed it off and said new changes were always welcome as it meant personal growth.

The next day the group entered SEKAI together, the rainbow was gone.

Sometimes the rainbow is there when just Rui is in SEKAI. Speaking honestly, Rui wants nothing more than to explore the SEKAI and calculate exactly how things change and around what people - his curiosity, as always, wants to lead him. But things are different now. Now that Tsukasa is his boyfriend - no, the moment he realised his feelings for Tsukasa he knew that he could no longer peer too deep into SEKAI’s mysteries. It’s essentially having free range of Tsukasa’s psyche, and that feels morally sketchy at best. Tsukasa may have given everyone full access to his SEKAI, but based on his surprise at the rainbow it seems that Tsukasa is not fully knowledgeable on what feelings of his present themselves.

That doesn’t mean that Rui avoids the SEKAI, or being alone in it; it just means that he won’t go out of his way to look for more details, or perform experiments on the environment.

Rui doesn’t tell anyone about the few changes he’s noticed. Shortly after Tsukasa and Rui confessed their feelings to each other, Tsukasa asked if they could keep it just to themselves for now. Rui is honestly not one to boast about his joys, he prefers keeping the things he loves close to his chest - and whilst a part of him wants to tell Nene and Emu-kun, he’s more than happy for this to stay something between him and Tsukasa for now.

They’ve honestly not had a deep conversation about their relationship and how they’re going to move forward, what it means for each of them. Things are so new that Rui is scared to break it. If he asks Tsukasa questions that he’s not ready to answer, he’s afraid that Tsukasa will run.

They have been on a few dates. They were definitely dates, but were ambiguous enough that they could easily be passed off as platonic. The two didn’t even hold hands. But they went to the movies, they went to dinner. Tsukasa called them dates, at least to Rui’s face.

Tsukasa will call Rui his boyfriend. Sometimes he’ll say the word in front of a quiet giggle, as if he’s sharing something super exciting. He’ll look Rui straight in the eyes, unable to stand still with excitement. Sometimes he’ll say the word, quietly after surveying his surroundings. A dirty secret that only Rui can know. Something he isn’t sure he should talk about. When Tsukasa is like this he almost cowers in on himself, looking more to his own shoes.

Rui tries not to internalise it. He can only presume that Tsukasa would not be acting this way were he a woman, and he knows better than to try and pry about something so sensitive and personal - even if he is Tsukasa’s boyfriend. He can wait. Rui can’t really relate to struggling with this sort of thing, he accepted himself a long time ago. After all he is already different from everyone else in so many ways, what’s one more?

His attention is brought back to SEKAI by the sound of a faint cry. Rui might be unwilling to perform experiments on the SEKAI, but he will not let a plushie or virtual singer go upset if he can help it. It’s a soft cry - it doesn’t sound mechanical. Following the noise, Rui finds himself down a side path near the harbour, where he eventually gets to a large stuffed bear. The bear is holding its paw up to its nose and mouth, trying to stifle the noise. Something sits strange in Rui, he knows that most of the plushies' woes have mimicked someone in the group’s turmoil - ironically, usually his own.

Walking quietly so as not to scare the bear plushie, Rui tries to make his body language as non-intimidating as possible. Once he gets close, the bear looks up, sniffling again and trying to calm itself.

“Hello there,” Rui uses as soft a voice as he can muster, giving a small and friendly smile. “Are you hurt?”

The bear plushie looks like it wants to run, but at the same time gives Rui the same wonderstruck look all the plushies have been giving him lately when he’s been on his own. It looks conflicted, but eventually shakes its head slowly.

“Hi, Rui…”

No honorifics. That’s becoming more common amongst the plushies, too.

Rui kneels down next to the bear, trying to keep his face as friendly as possible without his usual deep-in-thought look. Basically the way he’s treated children in the past.

“What’s wrong?”

The bear plushie looks around at its surroundings, and suddenly Rui is brought back to the end of their date last week. His heart aches, but he quickly ignores it for the issue at hand.

“Us bear plushies… we’re dancers… We dance, in shows and in life. And it’s always the same.” It sniffles again, hugging itself tight. It doesn’t look at Rui, but seems to trust him implicitly. “I’m a big bear. Us big bears, we dance with the little bears.”

Rui nods. Does this bear not like dancing? That’s fine. Rui already starts thinking up some solutions for the bear’s problem, whilst it picks up where it left off.

The big bear hesitates, scrunching its face up in disgust. Then it looks down to the ground, away from Rui.

“... I don’t want to dance with the little bears.”

That’s fine, Rui thinks to himself. The big bear doesn’t have to dance if it doesn’t want to. They can come up with some other hobbies, maybe try talking to the other bears?

“... I only want to dance with the other big bears. They… It makes me happy. But everyone else like me dances with the little bears.”

Oh.

Oh.

Rui feels a sharp stab in his chest. The implication is clear enough, and his mouth runs dry. It’s not like he hasn’t been suspecting Tsukasa has felt this way, but to hear it so directly from his inner thoughts. Truly, Rui starts to panic a little. But he can handle Tsukasa later, for now it’s time to help the plushie.

Fresh tears run down the bear’s face. It wails loudly, “Everyone will be disappointed if I dance with a big bear! Big bears don’t dance with other big bears!”

“I-” Rui reaches a hand out, but the moment he makes contact with the bear plushie, it recoils.

As the bear plushie runs away, it only cries louder.

A loud sigh escapes Rui as he throws another scrunched up piece of paper in the bin. He can’t concentrate properly. After everything that happened in SEKAI, his thoughts keep wandering. Should he talk to Tsukasa? To the virtual singers, maybe? He’s supposed to be working on a new maintenance robot to help repair his other robots. It should free up a lot of time, especially now that the troupe is only getting busier, and Rui has some semblance of a personal life he wishes to keep a hold on.

He’s dealt with fragile situations like this; but unlike the situation with Mizuki, he knows that he cannot leave Tsukasa to learn to love this part of himself on his own. Rui knows that he’s the person Tsukasa needs to talk to, the support group that Mizuki had. This isn’t the kind of situation where he can be passive, because he is the right person for Tsukasa. But Rui doesn’t know how to be active in a situation like this. He doesn’t think the kind of harsh words he threw at Nene not too long ago are at all appropriate for something like this. As much as he hates to say it, something like this goes far beyond shows.

He kind of wants to call Tsukasa, even if just to hear his voice. That’s love, right?

After far too much of simply staring at his phone, Rui hits the call button. It rings for a while before Tsukasa eventually picks up.

“Hey Rui! I’m just out with Saki! What do you need?”

It’s easy enough to interpret why he’s clarifying that.

“Ah”, Rui hadn’t got this far in this planning. He wanted to hear Tsukasa’s voice, but what now? For some reason his heart starts to race, he puts a hand on his chest and tries to think how to continue.

“Hm? You want to practice at your place?”

The lie jumps straight to Rui’s heart in the best way possible, and it speeds up even more knowing that Tsukasa also wants to spend time with him. Slightly flustered, he holds a hand to his cheek. It’s really warm.

“Yes, Tsukasa-kun, that would be great. Do you want to send me a message when you’re on the way here?”

After plans are made, the call ends quickly enough, and Rui starts the process of slightly tidying his room so that Tsukasa can feel a bit more comfortable.

It takes a few hours for Tsukasa to be free, which is far too long as it allows Rui to overthink just about everything possible. He doesn’t get any closer to figuring out how to talk to the other, and in fact only seems to further talk himself out of various talking points. Maybe Tsukasa actually wants to practice, and the way he spoke on the phone was just a weird way of asking? They’ve recently started work on a show where Tsukasa is taking on the secondary role. Is he nervous about it? Rui decides to go through his notes on the production whilst he waits, just in case. The distraction is a welcome one.

Now engrossed in show details, Rui nearly jumps off his chair at the sudden loud banging on his garage door. He nearly calls Tsukasa inside, but doesn’t trust his voice for some reason. Slumping out of his chair, he makes his way to the door, hesitating slightly to look back at his reflection in one of the drones sitting nearby. Does he look good enough? He doesn’t really have time to fix anything. Since when did he care about that sort of thing, again? Shaking his head of the thought, he goes to the side door to open it up.

Ah. Yeah, Rui remembers why he suddenly got self conscious. Tsukasa’s hair glows from the sun backlighting him, and he gives Rui one of those soft smiles that makes him melt ever so slightly. Rui chides himself for being sappy, and takes a step to the side to let Tsukasa in.

“Hey, Rui.”

Tsukasa immediately drops his bag to the floor, quickly forgotten, as Rui mumbles out a greeting. Tsukasa then moves to face Rui directly, flashing that same smile at him as before.

“I missed you.”

Tsukasa is usually the type of person to show his affections through actions rather than words. He’s happy to use words if asked, since he doesn’t seem to get self-conscious at that sort of thing, but it’s not something he’ll do by default. Since they started dating, Rui noticed that Tsukasa will be a lot more direct. He isn’t sure if that’s to purposely try and fluster him, or for Rui’s own benefit. Either way it sends a quick blush to his cheeks. Tsukasa’s eyes follow, his smile morphing into more of a grin.

“I missed you too,” Rui replies easily, his blush deepening. “How was the trip out with Saki-kun?”

“It was fantastic, thank you!” Tsukasa starts to walk around the room, looking at the clutter. “I should really help you clean this place sometime.” The accidental insult to Rui’s own cleaning skills stings a little. Tsukasa then heads over to Rui’s desk, looking down at the piles of scrap paper and drawings from earlier. “What’s this? A robot?”

Rui looks over to see one of the sketches for the robot-repair-robot, he shrugs. “I’m working on a robot to help repair my other robots, to help me around the workshop.”

Tsukasa looks at the paper some more, face contorted as he tries to understand even a fraction of what Rui’s written. Then he pulls up a spare stool next to Rui’s main one, and looks up at the other man. “Can you explain it to me?”

Rui’s mind goes blank. Tsukasa has shown interest in already built robots, but only really how they relate to shows, and he’s never asked anything about the actual design and creation process. He knows that is far from Tsukasa’s area of expertise, and it definitely isn’t something he’s particularly interested in. Rui wonders for a moment if he’s misheard. “What do you mean?” he asks to clarify, sitting in his stool so he can be at a more even level with the other.

“Um,” Tsukasa looks a bit startled from the question, as he holds the most recent robot design in his hands. “So you want it to help repair stuff, right? How do you even go about making it?” he points to a part of the diagram, where Rui has scribbled what seems to be a nonsense list of other robots. “Are you going to take apart these robots to build this?”

What is going on? Rui can’t help but feel slightly suspicious, despite also feeling bad about it. He’s mostly just confused, though. Does Tsukasa have some other reason to want to ask? It could be that he’s just interested, but that’s unlike his usual behaviour. Rui figures asking won’t hurt at least, “Why do you ask?”

Tsukasa gives him a pointed look, and Rui can’t quite figure out what it means. He seems disappointed, he thinks? It passes kind of quickly before Tsukasa flutters his eyes a little, turning slightly pink. “Is it that weird to want to know more about my boyfriend’s interests?”

Ah, Rui is hit with that familiar fuzzy feeling. He’s overwhelmingly happy, again. Tsukasa really wants to hear him talk about this kind of thing, willingly? He knows it shouldn’t surprise him, he feels the same way about Tsukasa’s interests that don’t already overlap with his own, but it’s not something he’s used to so directly. “You’re really sure?”

Tsukasa puffs up, eyes shining. Rui is briefly brought back to the plushies. “Of course!” Tsukasa shouts, “I care about you, and so I care about the things you’re passionate about!” his voice warbles a little at the end, Rui probably figures from embarrassment.

Who is he to argue with something like that? Rui sits up a bit, leaning over to get a closer look at the drawing Tsukasa is still holding. “If you insist,” he sends Tsukasa a smile, who then sits up straight as if listening to a teacher. “This is the rough design for a robot-repair-robot. With how busy we’re all getting, I thought that it could be a helpful addition for simple maintenance for the other robots.” Tsukasa nods along, swapping between looking at Rui’s face and the diagram. “You’re right that this is the list of robots that I’m considering taking parts from. I’ve always enjoyed taking apart things and putting them back together, so that’s often how the bare bones of most of my robots first form.”

“I try to think of robots I’ve made in the past with transferable skills. For example, the specific motions my acrobat-bot makes when doing fine gymnastic moves could work well for finger joints to do precise repair work. So I tend to get out those robots and take a closer look, usually taking them apart and either poaching pieces or looking inside to make a note as to what I need to buy next.”

Tsukasa is actually listening, he actually looks interested. Rui can’t help but giggle. “I see! That makes sense. What happens if you get stuck?”

“I’ll often look for inspiration online, or in one of my many robotics books,” Rui hums, mostly to himself. “If I’m struggling with knowledge, I have a lot of research here at my disposal. I used to ask my dad for help when I was younger, but I’ve not needed to do that in a long time.” He smiles to himself, recounting the memories.

Tsukasa mutters something, “What was that Tsukasa-kun? I didn’t quite catch that.”

He’s met with shining orange. “You’re incredible, Rui.”

It’s something Tsukasa has said many times, especially when it comes to Rui’s inventions - but it feels different now. It feels too warm yet again. What is becoming of Rui Kamishiro to be someone so easily taken aback by a simple compliment?

He needs to distract himself. “Oh, I could show you,” he turns away from Tsukasa to bend down and rummage through a box of old robots. The moment he can’t see Tsukasa’s expression, a pang of worry rushes through. Is this too much? Getting physical props and showing them off. He’s talked too much already, hasn’t he? But what if Tsukasa wants to see. He shakes his head, grabbing a decently large robot. “I was thinking of a larger body like this, so that I can fit both fine mechanical hands as well as powerful wrenches and drills for the larger maintenance tasks.” Once he turns back to Tsukasa his fears are allayed, the other looking at Rui with just as much excitement as before.

In fact, once Rui puts the robot on the desk Tsukasa shuffles in closer. His mind goes blank at the contact.

Their shoulders are touching and suddenly it all feels a little too much. Nearly dropping the robot, Rui takes a moment to compose himself before continuing. “It… if I remove the back panel like this,” he reaches over and grabs a screwdriver, easily taking the back off. “I can look at the inner workings, and maybe remove these pieces over here. The large hands could fit in this part of the case, and an AI core could replace this rudimentary power system. The finer fingers from the acrobat-bot can be stored just about anywhere due to their size, but somewhere out of the way where they’re less likely to overheat would be best.” He checks over to Tsukasa to make sure he’s still following, but things seem to be fine. “I am having some problems figuring out exactly how much I want this robot to do. You see, I want to be able to trust it to perform simple maintenance tasks quickly, but in that sense I want it to know what exactly needs performing. That’s not a kind of AI I’ve written before, so I’m having some difficulty. How creative do I want it to be in its solutions? It’s a tricky thing to balance. I want it to be competent, of course, or else there’s no point in its existence. But I am struggling to find a system I could trust my own creations in.”

“Hmm,” Tsukasa mumbles to himself, looking pointedly at the robot in Rui’s hands. “Wouldn’t it make sense to model the AI after yourself, then? That way you’ll have faith that it will behave and treat your robots as you would.”

The idea makes perfect sense, and Rui wonders why he didn’t already think of it. Something doesn’t sit right about a robot modelled after himself, but he’s unsure exactly why. It should be easy enough to make, and as Tsukasa said it would help with the problem. Seeing no reason to disagree with the idea, Rui nods in understanding.

“That’s actually a good point, Tsukasa-kun. It would solve the issue at hand… I guess I may as well give it a try,” he smiles. Tsukasa looks like a dog who’s just been praised by his owner, giddy and happy to have helped.

“How would you go about making such a thing, anyway?”

Rui giggles yet again, pulling out the keyboard and motioning the nearest of his monitors. “Let me show you as I explain, fufu.”

The two continue talking about the robot, the AIs Rui makes, just about everything involved in the process. The whole time Tsukasa, whilst not always fully understanding, looks incredibly happy to watch Rui work. He gets the rudimentary parts of the AI set up by the time Tsukas has to leave - but he stays far too late anyway, he has to call his parents apologising for not being able to make it to dinner, and Rui’s mother brings in some food for them in the evening. It’s long gone dark before Tsukasa is getting ready to leave for the night.

“Thank you for showing me all of that, Rui.”

Rui can’t believe his ears, letting out an easy laugh. “I should be the one thanking you.”

For a fraction of a second Tsukasa has that same strange expression from before, but it swaps back to the soft smile he’s getting to see more and more often.

“I had a lot of fun. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but it was nice just hanging out.” Tsukasa reluctantly pulls his bag over his shoulder, then turns back to Rui. Neither of them do anything for a few seconds.

Rui knows that this is probably where they should kiss, but he also knows that they’re nowhere near that level yet. Tsukasa reaches his hand out for a moment, and then frowns at it as he takes it back. Rui decides to take initiative. “Can I hug you?”

Tsukasa’s eyes widen and face reddens, but he nods quickly. Rui would chuckle if he wasn’t also nervous. He wraps his arms around Tsukasa’s waist, pulling him close and resting his head on Tsukasa’s shoulder. Tsukasa freezes for a moment before slowly holding Rui back. It’s warm. And really nice. “Thank you for today,” Rui mumbles into the other’s neck. He doesn’t think he can express in words just how thankful he feels right now, how much this kind of evening means to him. Tsukasa squeezes him ever so slightly.

Eventually the two break away, Tsukasa even more red than before the hug. He gives Rui a brilliant smile before turning away to the garage door.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Rui.”

As Tsukasa leaves, Rui realises he forgot to bring up the SEKAI at all.

Rui spends the next few days focusing on his robot-repair-robot when they’re not practicing. He has the mechanical components down by now, he thinks, but is still struggling with getting the AI perfected. He stretches, looking at his clock to see it’s starting to get late, but nowhere near time for bed. Feeling his muscles ache, Rui figures a walk around SEKAI will likely help clear his mind - it also means he might get a chance to see the bear plushie again and try to talk to it.

Pressing play on Untitled, Rui appears in the typical spawn point for SEKAI. The rainbow is back today, it seems. That means Nene and Emu-kun likely aren’t here. He wonders if the rainbow would stay if it were just him and Tsukasa in SEKAI, but they haven’t been here just as the two of them since they started dating, when they use SEKAI has a lunch spot it’s usually so that they can eat alongside Emu-kun without her running all the way to Kamiyama. Walking towards the harbour, Rui makes sure to keep an ear out for anything strange. Tsukasa did act normal when they were together the other day, or at least Rui presumes that’s normal. Things are strange and different now, but Tsukasas seemed to act like a typical person with their new partner, so Rui thinks that was a good day at least?

As soon as he makes his way towards the same side street as before, Rui hears some familiar sounding sniffles. He hears the approaching footsteps before he has a chance to see them.

“Rui-kun, don’t go down there!”

In a blur of pink and blue, Rui finds himself face to face with a panicked looking Miku-kun. Quickly behind her is KAITO-san. Miku-kun is holding onto Rui’s wrist, pulling him away from the side road that the bear plushie is hiding down. She waves her free hand around, looking to KAITO-san before facing Rui again, still frazzled.

“Um, um. There’s something down there Rui-kun shouldn’t see! Sorry Rui-kun!”

Obviously Miku-kun and KAITO-san are very attuned to this place, Rui thinks that they’re likely trying to spare Tsukasa’s feelings, maybe even stop Tsukasa’s own feelings outing him. Apparently the virtual singers didn’t get some secret memo that Rui and Tsukasa are dating, since he’s pretty sure they would’ve reacted a bit differently if they’d known. Well, Rui isn’t going to be the one to tell them, but he wants to speak to the plushie regardless, so he’ll have to let them know that there’s no point in stopping him now.

“If it’s about the bear plushie, we already had a chat the other day.”

Miku-kun and KAITO-san’s expressions fall. Rui doesn’t think he’s seen Miku-kun look this serious. The two virtual singers exchange glances at each other, as if trying to have a silent conversation Rui should not be privy to. To try and help explain, Rui carries on.

“I already knew. About Tsukasa-kun, that is. He told me.” That’s technically a lie, but Rui knows the important part - that Tsukasa isn’t straight. They haven’t had a specific conversation about identities or anything, but that part must be true. Either way, the plushie didn’t out Tsukasa to Rui, thankfully. As expected, Miku-kun picks up a little, but still looks unconvinced.

“Oh. Miku understands.” She fidgets a bit with her dress, mouth moving behind closed lips. It only makes Rui feel worse.

He looks to KAITO-san next, making his plea. “I spoke to the bear plushie the other day, and knowing about Tsukasa-kun it was easy enough to piece together what’s going on. I tried comforting the bear plushie, but it ran away. Please let me try again.” He hopes that he can express to the virtual singers that this isn’t some silly experiment, or his curiosity, it’s from a genuine desire to help. Slowly KAITO-san nods.

“I think it’s okay, Miku.”

Miku-kun looks up to KAITO, before slowly letting go of Rui’s arm. She nods sadly, motioning for Rui to carry on, but without saying anything.

“Thank you, KAITO-san, Miku-kun.” Rui turns to carry on walking, noticing that the two virtual singers don’t leave.

Finding the bear plushie again, Rui makes sure to approach softly. The bear seems in slightly better spirits, possibly, but still hugging itself tight and sniffling occasionally. It still hurts. Rui kneels down again, giving a soft smile. “Hello, again.”

The plushie hugs itself tighter, but whatever spell Rui has over the plushies here works enough for it to look him in the eyes and reply. “Hello, Rui.” It still sounds upset, almost hollow in its way of speaking. Rui tries not to think too hard about it. There’s a noise from behind him somewhere, but Rui keeps his focus on the bear.

“I wanted to talk to you again,” Rui takes a moment to think of his next words. “I wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m sorry for running away, Rui,” the bear starts crying properly now. “You were kind, and I ran away.”

Rui softly hushes the bear, “It’s okay, I didn’t mind.” He nearly reaches a hand out, until he remembers how the bear reacted last time. “I wanted to make sure you were doing well. I’ve been worried about you.”

“I’m still sad,” the bear wails, going back to trying to cover its face like last time. “I should just make myself dance with the little bears, I’m being a wimp.” It starts to sound agitated. Rui’s heart jumps. The intonation, the words, it’s slightly less like how this plushie seems to normally act.

“No, no. You don’t need to do that.” He tries not to sound too panicked, but is almost definitely failing. “I think you’re great the way you are.”

“That’s because you’re kind, Rui. Not everyone is.”

“It’s okay to be different.”

“You wouldn’t get it!” The bear lashes out, and then looks to immediately regret it, pouting and curling away again. “Sorry…”

“I’m different, too.” Rui isn’t sure why he feels so unnerved admitting this, but he takes a deep breath. “I’m just like you. I also like to dance with people like me.”

Rui’s acutely aware of the quiet intake of air from somewhere behind him. Right. He’s just accidentally outed himself to Miku-kun and KAITO-san. Whatever.

The bear doesn’t say anything, so Rui carries on. “Being different means you get a lot of interesting perspectives on things that most people don’t. I’ve always been myself and found friends who support me, so you can-”

“Shut up!” Rui immediately stops, watching the plushie as he starts crying even louder. “Just because you’re okay with being weird, doesn’t mean everyone is!” Rui actually has no idea how to respond. “Good for you Rui, but some of us want to actually fit in! I want to be normal!!”

Rui suddenly wants to leave. This is very quickly becoming too much. But he has to think of something! Think, Rui! What can he say to cheer up the bear now? The bear's crying is bordering on screaming, and Rui’s brain still won’t work. Is this really how Tsukasa feels? Rui’s brain is firing a mile a minute and not at all. He’s brought out of his thoughts by a firm hand on his shoulder, KAITO-san.

“Rui-kun, I think that’s enough.”

“No…” It’s a pathetic whine, but Rui doesn’t have a better argument. KAITO-san’s grip becomes firmer, and he feels the virtual singer try to lift him. KAITO-san stays silent, but Rui knows he’s right. He’s messed up, again. Rui decides to let KAITO-san lead him, but as he stands up he suddenly has an urge to say something, so blurts out one last thing to the plushie as he gets ready to leave. “Please remember that you’re not alone, no matter how much it feels that way!” It’s a fast mess, but Rui has to say something, as if it’s the last thing he’ll get to say.

As he stands up, the plushie looks back at him. Rui mutters, perhaps mostly to himself, “I’ll come back to speak to you again soon, I promise.”

At that point KAITO-san is leading Rui away and out of the alleyway, Miku-kun walking slightly in front.

The walk back to the main plaza is silent. It seems like the virtual singers don’t trust Rui in the harbour right now, as they continue leading him until they’re back at the amusement park. The lights suddenly feel nauseating, the music thundering. There’s an itching under his skin like he needs to sit in a dark room and do nothing for twelve hours. Or maybe a school rooftop will do. He’s feeling something strongly, but can’t quite tell what emotion it is. Seriously, he messed up again?

He’s looking around quickly for a wall to sit on or something, before he just collapses onto the floor. Before he realises, there’s a hand on him again, but this time much softer.

“Rui-kun…” It’s Miku-kun this time, hand soft on his shoulder, as a comfort. Rui almost feels stupid for even trying to help, but he knows he can’t give up. Miku-kun is frowning deeply. “Are you okay, Rui-kun?”

“I’m fine,” he instantly replies, smooth as usual. Of course it’s not true, but what else is he going to say?

“Um,” she starts. Miku-kun looks distressed, her tail thumping wildly, fur swooshing just enough that it makes Rui stare at it instead of Miku-kun herself. “Miku won’t tell anyone what we overheard, Miku promises.”

Oh, right. Rui appreciates it, but it feels like far from the most important thing right now. He looks back to Miku-kun and nods. “Thank you.” Miku-kun then hums to herself, her feet starting to move a little. It looks like she wants to say something, but isn’t for some reason. “What is it, Miku-kun?” Rui decides to put her out of her misery.

Miku-kun looks a bit sheepish. “Does Tsukasa-kun know?”

Rui nods.

“Huh…” Miku-kun sounds a bit deflated. “I see…” She continues muttering and humming to herself, but Rui doesn’t really pay it any mind.

“I, of course, won’t say anything either,” KAITO-san adds. Rui again just nods, not really having the energy to discuss it right now. To be honest, out of Wonderlands x Showtime it’s now only Emu-kun who doesn't already know. Maybe he can just text her. Whatever. He can think of that later. He needs to think of more ideas; what to do better next time. His eyebrows knit tight, hand to his chin, thinking as usual. SEKAI is still too bright. He sighs deeply.

“I think I’ll go back and think over it some more. I’ll see you soon,” he doesn’t make eye contact with the virtual singers again, simply grabbing his phone and hitting pause on the track.

The moment he gets home he slumps onto the sofa in his garage and falls asleep.

Rui wakes up to his hair sticking to his face, and a crick in his neck. He feels sluggish, overslept. It’s light outside, he notices from under the garage door. He must have fully slept through the night. Rui is used to sleeping on the sofa, he’s not used to doing so for such a long time. Yawning, he grabs a hold of his phone, still groggy. As he grabs it, it vibrates, a notification.

Oh, he has a lot of unread messages. Rui notices the number before looking at the time. Messages from both his parents, the Wonderlands x Showtime group chat, Nene, Tsukasa. Oh, it’s 10:30am. Wait, it’s 10:30am?! Rui jumps up, it’s a school day. No wonder he has so many messages - why didn’t his parents wake him?! How did he manage to sleep so long? God, he feels awful. His head pulses at the speed at which he got up, he breathes deep for a moment to try and recover, and opens his messages with his mother.

[Mom]: Please make sure you eat breakfast! I’ve left your favourite, it’s in the fridge.
[Mom]: How are you feeling, Rui?
[Mom]: Please rest well, sweetheart.

So she noticed he was still asleep past the usual wake up time? Rui shrugs off his pyjamas, hurrying into his school uniform. He opens up his texts with his father next.

[Dad]: Hey Rui! Your mom wanted me to remind you to eat and drink something.
[Dad]: Let me know when you’re awake, yeah?
[Dad]: You can send a message, but if you need to call I let my co-workers know that you were unwell, so they’re fine with me taking a call at work. Don’t hesitate to let me know you’re okay!

So they think he’s unwell? Rui feels a warmth at the messages. He just remembers that in the rush to get dressed he forgot to brush his teeth, so he goes to the bathroom to do that as he replies back to his parents, letting them know he’s okay, and that he’s heading to school now. Afterwards he heads to the kitchen to see a note left on the dining table for him.

Rui,
I tried waking you for school, but you were out like a light. You mumbled something about being tired, so I figured it was best to let you rest. You don’t have a fever, so do in fact seem to be just tired. I have to head to work now, but if you don’t get back to me by midday I’m coming home to check on you.
Remember to eat and drink a lot, you didn’t have dinner and will have gone over 12 hours without any water.
I’ve called school to let them know you won’t be coming in, so don’t worry about that.
There is plenty of food in the fridge, I made extras in case you’re hungry throughout the day.
Please let me know as soon as you’re up, or if you need anything - work knows so I can come home if I need to.
Lots of love,
Mom

He feels shaky, holding the letter. He feels fine though, so he still plans to go to school. His parents both immediately replied to his messages, reminding him that he doesn’t have to go in but he can if he’s certain. Rui’s not hungry, but figures that his mother is right about the water at least. Getting himself some water, Rui sits at the dining table and goes through his other messages next.

[Nene]: Get better soon, Rui. Let me know if you need anything, I can bring it by after school.

[Wonderlands x Showtime Group Chat]
[Nene]: Rui’s mom just told me that he’s unwell and not coming to school today, so we should cancel practice today, I think. If we’re all going to become sick, we should take it easy.
[Emu]: Wahh!! Rui-kun, I hope you feel better soon! Nene-chan, do you think we should go over to his house to cheer him up? :(
[Nene]: Auntie said that he’s really tired, so I don’t know if that’s the best idea. We might want to let him rest? She said she’d let me know how he’s doing.
[Emu]: I see, I see. I’ll make a wonderhoy get better basket for him!! Can I bring it to you after school, Nene-chan? Then you can deliver it to him! >w<
[Nene]: Hehe sure, Emu.
[Tsukasa]: Ah Rui, I hope you feel better soon!

Emu-kun really is sweet. Before replying, Rui decides to read his message from Tsukasa directly.

The first ones were all sent shortly after Nene sent her first message in the group chat. Eleven unread messages.

[Tsukasa]: Rui!!! Please get some rest and get better soon, we can’t have you overworking yourself!
[Tsukasa]: And, uh, can you let me know once you’re awake? We need you in top form!
[Tsukasa]: I hope you went to bed at a reasonable time. And remember to eat and drink lots once you wake up!
[Tsukasa]: School is about to start and you’re still asleep, you must really be unwell. If you need medicine or anything, let me know, I’m good with that sort of stuff!
[Tsukasa]: Class is so weird without you. People keep asking me where you are.
[Tsukasa]: People really do care about you, Rui.
[Tsukasa]: I mean our classmates, of course.
[Tsukasa]: Not that I don’t also care!!!!
[Tsukasa]: I keep thinking there’s going to be an explosion coming out of nowhere, but it’s so quiet.
[Tsukasa]: Are you still sleeping? You need to drink water!!!! Especially if you have a fever!
[Tsukasa]: Still asleep, huh? I’m glad you’re making up for lost rest.

Rui has no idea how to answer all that.

He decides to tackle the group chat first.

[Wonderlands x Showtime Group Chat]
[Me]: Hi everyone, I’m awake. Thank you for the well wishes. I don’t need a basket or anything, though. I wasn’t in fact unwell, I just became exhausted and overslept. I’ll be heading to school now, and we can still practise.

The response is near immediate, but it’s not to the group chat.

[Tsukasa]: Rui!! How are you feeling?

Rui smiles down at the screen, and types out a smooth reply.

[Me]: I’m fine, thank you for your concern Tsukasa-kun. I’ll see you at school soon.

Tsukasa must be waiting for a reply, as he begins typing straight away again. Then stops. After a few seconds of nothing, a message sends.

[Tsukasa]: Don’t push yourself!! Only come in if y

Rui waits for a correction or continuation, but it never comes. After a few minutes he figures it’s been long enough to assume that he won’t get one. He supposes it’s as good a time as any to head off, this way he’ll at least be there for all of the afternoon classes.

It’s been a long time since Rui has come to school late like this. In some twisted way, it’s almost nostalgic. Maybe he’ll run into Mizuki on his way. As expected, he gets a few stares walking around the city in a school uniform this time of day. Rui gets to school easy enough, his head hurts a bit and he’s feeling faint, but he’s fine.

He slips into class. It’s the final period before lunch, and the lesson started less than ten minutes ago, so hopefully he won’t be too much of a disturbance. Of course the moment he slides the door open, the whole class stares at him.

“It’s nice to see you’re feeling better, Kamishiro,” the teacher welcomes him. Rui nods, trying not to look too much at Tsukasa, but the other boy is staring at Rui with such an obvious face of glee that it’s almost embarrassing. He takes his seat. “I trust you will have no problem catching up with the content you missed. Okay class, let’s continue.” The lesson continues on simply enough, although Rui feels Tsukasa’s eyes boring into him the whole time.

As soon as the bell rings, Tsukasa is rushing over to Rui’s desk. However as he does so, the teacher calls out. “Remember Tenma, you are to see me after school ends.” Rui watches Tsukasa wince, but nods.

“Understood.”

Just as Rui is about to question what that’s about, a few other students come to his desk.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better, Kamishiro.” “You’re back already?” “If you need notes from this morning, feel free to ask me.”

It’s all a lot at once, but one student’s comment reaches above the others.

“Yeah, Tenma got his phone confiscated and has detention after school,” the boy laughs.

That explains the message then. Rui can’t help himself from smiling, it made sense from the timing, but Tsukasa really was messaging him during class, huh? Tsukasa looks more annoyed than embarrassed, pouting ever so slightly.

“I shall do better to not get caught next time!” he shouts. The group around them laugh.

“Shouldn’t you strive to do better and not be using your phone in the first place?” Rui teases, looking up at the other boy. Tsukasa juts his lower lip out even more, purposely playing it up. The group around them listen in on the banter, finding the Oddball One-Two duo entertaining as usual.

“Must have been a real cute girl to have you using your phone in class, Mr. Hall Monitor.”

In Rui’s mind, it goes silent. In actuality, the group laughs again. But Rui and Tsukasa don’t say a thing. This isn’t good. Unfortunately Tsukasa’s face immediately goes bright red, which does not help the situation.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!”

It’s in this moment that Rui realises there is a subtle difference between Tsukasa being genuinely distressed, and Tsukasa hamming up how uncomfortable he is for Rui’s entertainment, and it seems that the general school populace cannot tell them apart. To Rui it’s obvious that Tsukasa is truly upset at the accusation, but the students around them just laugh off his antics again, typical Tenma being dramatic and funny. They’re definitely not trying to be mean, because Tsukasa is well liked and popular, that isn’t how they treat him - they’re just playing along with the banter and silliness of the situation. They probably don’t even really think he was messaging a girl, necessarily.

There’s more back and forth between Tsukasa and the other students. Tsukasa only gets louder, as if acting on top of his genuine emotions. He’s really upset, but purposely acting even more to draw suspicion away. Rui finds it difficult to watch, but isn’t sure how to stop it. His head really hurts.

Eventually Tsukasa puts his hands on his hips and shakes his head, “We’re wasting time, here. Rui!!” Rui looks up, curious, trying to keep as neutral a face as possible. “Let’s find Nene and eat lunch together on the rooftop, yes?”

Rui can only nod, and the group disperses, giving Rui his space. As he stands, he feels faint again, catching himself heavy on the desk. Tsukasa briefly goes to reach out, but then freezes, looking pained. “Are you okay?” he asks quietly. Rui feels warm, again, and not in the pleasant way he has been lately. Tsukasa looks both angry and disappointed, probably not at Rui, but it doesn’t help how weary he’s feeling. He nods, standing up properly, testing out to see if he’s feeling able to walk. Seeming fine, he leaves his bag in the classroom so as to not have to drag extra weight around, and walks with Tsukasa to the rooftop.

Tsukasa still looks upset for the walk, but still looks back often to check in with Rui. They don’t talk at all until they get to the actual rooftop. Thankfully, it’s empty, and Rui immediately takes a seat on the ground, next to the fencing. Tsukasa stays standing up for a few more moments, face scrunched up in thoughts.

“Tsukasa-kun…”

That seems to draw him out of whatever he was thinking, cringing to himself. “I’m sorry. How are you feeling?” It’s formal. Distant. Rui wants to bring him back, but he feels like he’s drowning. Tsukasa will run if he pushes, won’t he?

He decides to be honest. “My head hurts and I feel a little faint, but nothing too serious.”

This is where Tsukasa would normally shout something about Rui needing to take care of himself, but instead he just looks distracted again, face contorted. Rui decides not to say anything, just watching. Eventually Tsukasa shakes his head to himself, and puts his hands on his hips in a confident pose.

“Ah, I have medicine in my bag! Do you have a drink- wait, you don’t have anything?” He frowns, obviously put on. “HAVE YOU EATEN!?”

Truly Rui feels too nauseous for food, but it’s probably not helping how rough he’s feeling by not eating. He shakes his head. Tsukasa pouts more.

“That’s it! I’m going to get you a drink and some food! And in the meantime, I’ll get Nene too!” Tsukasa turns away to leave, Rui reaches out to grab his uniform jacket, but just about misses. He doesn’t have the nerve to call out.

Thankfully Rui isn’t alone for long to overthink what happened in the classroom, but unfortunately it’s not Tsukasa who comes to join him. Nene closes the rooftop door slowly, looking at Rui with a fairly uncommon amount of concern on her face. Usually the concerned faces Nene makes are full of snark or sarcasm, concern that Rui is acting up too much or is about to do something stupid - but this Nene is actually worried about him. It makes him burn.

“Hey, Rui. How are you feeling?” He’s starting to get tired of that question, but he supposes he probably doesn’t look well, gritting his teeth slightly from the ever increasing pain in his head.

“I’m fine.” Nene gives him a pointed look. Rui ignores it. “Where’s Tsukasa?”

Nene frowns at that. “He’s gone to the cafeteria to get ‘important nourishments’, he said.” She takes a seat opposite Rui, “I think he’s worried, he’s acting kinda strange. I mean, strange for him.”

Rui’s heart picks up, but he nods anyhow, trying to play it off. “He’s obviously missing the stimulus of constant threat of explosions. I’ll have to make up for it tomorrow.”

At this Nene finally cracks a smile, pulling her knees up to her chest.

The company with Nene is nice, they’re used to spending a lot of time together without talking, so Nene lets him sit in silence as she opens up her phone to play a game. It’s a relief not having to entertain others with how he’s feeling, and it lets him go back to thinking about Tsukasa. After more mulling it over, the door opens up again, quieter than usual.

“Ah, Nene’s here!” Somehow Tsukasa shouts without shouting, making sure to keep himself quiet, no doubt for Rui’s sake. He looks a lot better than when he left, at least. He sits next to Nene, pulling out a far-too-full bag, and starts emptying out the contents.

Without a word Tsukasa lays out the various foods and drinks, there’s both hot and cold, sweet and savoury, light and heavy. A whole banquet of options. There’s also several bottles, mostly water and electrolyte drinks, but with one can of soda as well. Tsukasa then rummages through his bag, before grabbing a small packet of pills and handing it to Rui.

“Painkillers, take two and then finish this,” he then hands Rui a pocari sweat, giving him a stern look. Rui nods, downing the meds easy enough before beginning the drink. He sips it slowly, as Tsukasa explains the rest of what he bought. As Rui noticed, he basically bought every option possible that Rui might like to eat, to encourage him to eat something.

Rui takes a piece of candy and starts sucking on it, hoping that his body taking in food again in a small amount will get his body to want to eat something proper. He doesn’t want to make the others worry, after all. Just as he’s considering a second piece of candy, his phone buzzes. Based on how they both also move, it seems like Tsukasa’s and Nene’s did too. To no surprise, it’s Emu in the group chat.

[Wonderlands x Showtime Group Chat]
[Emu]: Hihi! Let’s meet in SEKAI for lunch owo I brought some gifts for Rui-kun to make him feel better!

Nene’s immediately typing.

[Nene]: Sure. Tsukasa bought way too much food for him, anyway, so I think we’ll need your help to get through it.

Rui can’t help but notice Tsukasa tense up in his peripheral. Rui feels uneasy at the idea of going back into SEKAI right now, but he has no way of voicing this without causing suspicion to what he was doing there last night; and Nene already said yes for the rest of them, it would be awkward to back out now. Tsukasa seems to frown slightly as well once Nene is distracted by her phone, and the group start putting the food and drink back in the bag to carry over.

They appear in SEKAI easily enough, and straight away Rui is bombarded.

“Rui-kun, Rui-kun!” Emu-kun bounds over, grabbing Rui’s arms. He can’t help but wince at the noise, and Emu-kun makes a knowing look and quiets down. “Sorry about that. How are you feeling Rui-kun?”

He resists the urge to sigh. “I’m fine, thank you, Emu-kun.”

Emu-kun stares for a few seconds, undoubtedly figuring something out, but Rui isn’t sure what. Eventually she smiles bright again, still holding onto Rui’s arm.

“I’ve set up a lunch spot for us in a quiet grassy area!” she chirps, making sure to keep her tone soft and quiet. The group follow, Rui still being led by hand, to a field near to the practice tents. The field is purely grass, but they can see nearby fields with singing flowers, so have a lovely background music of soft singing.

Once they’re all sitting together, Tsukasa and Nene start setting up the dishes he bought. Nene also unpacks her lunch and adds it to the pile, and Emu-kun places a few items from the Miya girl’s cafeteria. It really is a lot of food.

“Oh, and Rui-kun!” He looks at Emu-kun, managing his typical smirk. “I got you something - here! The won won wonderhoy super soft purple fun get better bouquet!”

The smirk drops to genuine surprise as Emu-kun pulls out a small bouquet of flowers from her bag. It’s a bouquet of purple roses, wrapped by some notebook paper, and tied by a bright pink ribbon with little Phenny-kuns on it. It’s obviously something handmade, and Rui stares at it a moment before Emu-kun explains. “There was this patch of purple roses in SEKAI! They weren’t the singing kind, just normal. I found them once I got here, they definitely weren’t around here before because I’d checked that patch of grass so many times!” Rui notices faint movement to the side of him, but keeps eye contact with Emu-kun. “It’s like SEKAI was trying to cheer you up!”

It’s incredibly sweet, but the obvious romantic intention of roses does not pass him by. The colour perfectly matches his hair, which is not something roses naturally can do. The kinds of purple roses you get in reality are much more pink tinted, or closer to lilac, and not often of this species of rose.

He takes a deep breath. They don’t smell of roses, they smell of faint lemon. Ramune. He can’t help the silly grin that reaches his face, the flowers really are something special for him, huh? He only looks away when Emu-kun giggles. She’s grinning at him, but doesn’t say anything.

“Thank you, Emu-kun.”

“Hehe, you’re welcome, Rui-kun! Now, let’s look at all this food!”

The group settle into a semi-familiar dynamic, Emu-kun and Nene are sitting close, chatting together about their school days and sharing some of the food. Rui is snacking on some rice, and trying to work up to the karaage. Usually Rui and Tsukasa would be chatting loudly, Rui trying to goad Tsukasa into eating the vegetables for him, or talking about their next show’s plans. But there are no vegetables to be seen, and neither boy seems to particularly want to talk. Sometimes Emu-kun and Nene will bring them into conversation, and Tsukasa will join in, but Rui is mostly silent, but everyone expects that.

“Oh, Rui-kun, I meant to say! I still don’t think we should have practice, even though you came to school,” Emu-kun starts. She pouts ever so slightly. “You’re all weh-weh-weh, and mrrrrm and fweh-fooey. I don’t think you should push yourself, even if you are just tired.” Rui watches Nene and Tsukasa blink, probably not taking in any of what Emu-kun is saying. Rui wants to argue, to say that despite how rough he’s looking, that he’s fine for practice, but he has a feeling Emu-kun is not going to believe him. “You even forgot the bam-zing on your eyes!”

His hand moves to his lower eyelid. Right. He was in a rush to leave. “I don’t think forgetting my eyeliner is enough for us to skip practice,” Emu-kun’s pout deepens.

“Rui!” Tsukasa finally pipes up, giving him his signature stubborn leader look. “As the leader of Wonderlands x Showtime I am declaring that practice today is cancelled! We must have our director well rested and at his best!” He has his hands on his hips, looking haughty as ever. Rui smiles a little, frustratingly charmed by the action despite his worries about the other. Tsukasa sends a bright smile back, and for a moment things feel somewhat normal.

That is, until Tsukasa cringes to himself. “Ah. Actually, yes, now that I think about it, I won’t be available after school anyhow.” The rest of the group looks to him now. “I have detention.”

Nene raises an eyebrow, “How did you get detention when Rui wasn’t even here?”

Ouch.

Rui thinks he sees something flash across Tsukasa’s face, but he might be looking too deep into things right now. It’s gone and the theatrics are up, Tsukasa putting a hand to his chest in pain, a distraught look on his face. “I was caught using my phone in class! It is a transgression that I shall not repeat!!”

Emu-kun just looks confused, whereas Nene scoffs. “Why were you using your phone in class? Idiot.”

“I-!”

Rui decides to cut in. “I was messaging Tsukasa-kun about a new robot I wanted his help testing, fufu.” He hopes it’s the right lie. It gives away that he was the one Tsukasa was messaging, but hopefully putting the onus on himself and their shows might make Tsukasa more comfortable…

“Why would you message him in class?” Nene glares. It’s not actually accusatory, she’s more disappointed in him than anything.

Rui shrugs. “Well, I wasn’t in class. It’s not my fault Tsukasa-kun can’t help himself when it comes to shows.” He really hopes it’s the right lie, now. Rui looks to Tsukasa, who seems surprised, but quickly puts on his usual faux-anger at Rui’s antics. This seems good.

“Actually you’re right!! This is all your fault Rui!” His fake-frown deepens. This is the Tsukasa who plays up his anger, he isn’t really upset. “And using your illness to coax me into replying, using my trust as your friend.” He theatrically puts his hand to his heart again. Good.

The group all laugh, Tsukasa included. Rui suddenly feels energised, reaching for more food as they quickly get back into their typical banter, a bit more as a group this time.

“My dear star actor, maybe I’ll have to make up for this morning and plan some fun around school - get myself locked up in detention too?”

The girls laugh, rolling their eyes, and getting back to their conversation. Tsukasa looks fine for a moment before his gaze drops, and quietly mumbles, tone quiet but serious so only Rui can hear. “Please, Rui… don’t.”

And suddenly Rui isn’t hungry anymore.

Rui feels mostly back to normal by the next day, and the group continue their practices together at their regular times. Tsukasa hasn’t messaged Rui since that time at school, although it’s not super unusual for them to go a few days without personally speaking over text. After all, they already spend a lot of time together at school, and that hasn’t changed. Rui hasn’t been back to SEKAI since. He wants to, he really wants to. He wants to see how Tsukasa is doing, but that’s exactly what he said he wouldn’t do, so he holds back.

He’s supposed to use his actual words, actually speak to his boyfriend, rather than rely on the cheat-code that is SEKAI.

However, Rui is weak. Scared. He grabs his phone, quickly hitting play on Untitled.

Once entering SEKAI, for a moment Rui wonders if he somehow slept in far too late and misjudged the time. The SEKAI is dark, not incredibly so, but it’s as if just entering civil twilight. It takes a moment for Rui to notice that it’s not the sun setting to cause this, but instead some dark grey clouds overhead.

That… definitely isn’t a good sign. Rui’s brain freezes.

Feeling frantic, Rui bounds as quickly as possible to the harbour to look for the bear plushie. Just as he sets off though, he steps in a puddle. Stopping immediately in his tracks, Rui takes a step back to look at what he stepped in.

It’s simply a puddle. A normal puddle. What is a puddle doing in SEKAI? It must have meant it rained recently. Rain definitely can’t be a good sign. Yet again, Rui’s brain stops working, and he stares down at his own foot, in mild panic. He needs to speak to the bear- no, he needs to speak to Tsukasa.

He needs to speak to Tsukasa.

Rui shakily grabs his phone and presses pause on Untitled, returning to the real world.

Phone still in hand, Rui sends the first message that comes to mind.

[Me]: Would you like to come over and help with the robot-repair-robot? I am having trouble figuring out the fine details of its personality components.

It’s an easy enough reason - they talked a bit about the robot at school the other day, so Rui supposes this excuse will do. He needs to talk to Tsukasa one on one.

Thankfully, the reply is quick.

[Tsukasa]: Of course, I am always happy to help my most esteemed director! I’ll be over momentarily.

Rui distracts his racing mind with the best tidying up he’s ever done.

After far too long and not enough time, there’s a familiar banging on the garage door. Rui nearly drops the piece of machinery he just picked up, scurrying over to his desk to place it in a random box before opening the door.

“Rui!” Tsukasa greets as usual, he starts to flash his typical smile, when it drops briefly to a confused pout. Not a moment later he’s smiling again though, making his way into Rui’s garage.

“Tsukasa-kun,” his throat is dry. Maybe try to be a bit honest? Weak. “I missed you.”

Tsukasa blushes, which makes Rui’s heart soar, but it quickly comes crashing down when Tsukasa looks at the floor. He mumbles, “I missed you, too.”

Rui has to act fast. How can he best try and coax Tsukasa’s emotions out? Usually the other is so expressive, but he can’t let this go on. He may as well start with a simple, “Tsukasa-”

“So, let’s look at the robot!” Rui tries not to scream. Tsukasa practically jumps onto the chair by Rui’s desk, body language posed to look confident, but he’s looking anywhere but at Rui. “You said it had some personality problems? How can I help? Do you need it to test experiments on me, or something? It is modelled after you, after all.” Tsukasa is talking too fast. And offering to be his guinea pig right off the bat.

Maybe if Rui plays along, this will go smoother? He takes a seat by Tsukasa, who is now looking intensely at the robot. “I… I think I just need some help calibrating his personality points. Let me show you what I mean.”

Rui switches the robot on, and its eyes light up - yellow, with just a touch of cyan.

“Ah, Rui, Tsukasa-kun. It’s nice to see you.” Rui cringes at the robot’s voice - is this what Nene feels whenever Nenerobo talks? Or is this just what Rui sounds like? Why does it sound like it’s teasing, it’s just talking normally. Rui can’t help but frown slightly.

Tsukasa lights up, however. “Woah! It’s Rui! Nice to meet you, Ruirobo!”

“We’re calling it Ruirobo now…?”

“Of course!! It’s modelled after you, isn’t it?! We have Nenerobo, why not Ruirobo?”

Rui doesn’t answer him.

The robot tries to giggle. “Fufu, you always impress me, my star.” Why is it calling Tsukasa that? “I see no reason not to oblige, right, Rui?” The robot, Ruirobo he supposes, looks for confirmation. Rui simply nods, he doesn’t want to cause drama.

“Haha! As always, my naming scheme is perfect!”

“As expected of Tsukasa-kun! Rui, do you need my assistance with the drone from yesterday? I was thinking of some ideas to improve the blast radius of the confetti.”

“Oh, no, I’ve put that idea on standby for now.” It was just an idea Rui threw at the robot to try and figure out its capabilities. After that Ruirobo got bored and asked if it could have its own set of materials to tinker with.

“I see. May I continue with my previous work then?” Rui nods, picking up the box from under his table with the materials he’s lent to Ruirobo. It had started working on a simple drone, and starts picking up pieces and muttering to itself about ideas both present and future.

Rui and Tsukasa simply watch Ruirobo work for a few minutes, before Tsukasa speaks up.

“I don’t really see the problem. I thought it might come on to me, but…”

Rui blushes slightly, shaking his head. “I programmed it only with personality data from before we started dating.” Does this mean the robot is in love with Tsukasa? Quite possibly.

Ruirobo immediately stops what it’s doing and looks directly at Rui, who can’t help but cringe. It’s creepy, and makes Rui feel incredibly uncomfortable. The robot continues to not do anything but stare, tilting one of its mechanical arms up to its face to hold where its chin would be.

“This is what I’m talking about, Tsukasa-kun. It’s just facing me, it’s creepy - that’s not a behaviour I intended for it to express.”

At this Tsukasa raises an eyebrow, looking between the robot and Rui. “What are you talking about? It’s thinking!” Rui blinks. “It’s doing the same thing you do when you’re reading a situation.”

Is that really what he looks like when doing that? Rui frowns. In turn, Tsukasa does too.

They don’t say anything more for a while. Eventually the robot starts silently working on its project again, but Tsukasa and Rui don’t talk. Tsukasa looks like he desperately wants to say something, and mostly looks at Rui. He’s about to try and change the subject when Tsukasa finally speaks up.

“What else don’t you like about the robot?” Rui raises his eyebrow. He thought he already explained by turning the robot on and showing its weird behaviour. “You said you’d show me, but I want to know what specifically you don’t like.” Tsukasa has a weirdly serious look on his face, and if Rui is going to get anywhere with him, he may as well humour whatever this is that’s going on. Why does the robot matter so much?

It’s surprisingly easy for Rui to find and voice his complaints. Keeping a cool, neutral tone, he explains the problems with the robot. “I don’t like its tone of voice, it sounds like it’s always teasing, even when I intended for it to act friendly, this could cause miscommunication issues with the user. I also don’t know why the robot laughs, that doesn’t exactly seem appropriate either for something meant to simply repair items.” Rui barely takes time for a breath, wanting to get this out as fast as possible to continue with more important topics. “It will unnecessarily enquire about details that are not needed for its purpose, this isn’t an ideas robot - it will only cause exhaustion for the user if it’s providing roles outside of its expectation. It also talks way too much, whilst I find the subject content interesting with regards to specific mechanisms of the production of other robots, the people using it will only get confused and frustrated at this. It needs to learn to keep its thoughts to itself sometimes.”

Rui takes a deep breath, feeling somewhat overwhelmed for some reason - but he carries on. “The robot isn’t here to make friends, it’s here to make our lives easier and complete its required tasks. Its intense passions are only going to put the users off and will make them rather wish to just do the tasks themselves, so to that extent the robot needs to be likeable, which I believe this one is failing at spectacularly for the reasons I just stated.” He pauses. “There are other things, but I think they’re rather minor in comparison.”

“This isn’t like Nenerobo or the other show robots, who are meant to perform on stage and dazzle. This robot is supposed to stay in the back, keeping to itself as much as possible to make sure the play can go on. Its purpose is to make the other robots work to their full potential. Nothing more.”

It’s both freeing and draining to say it out loud, and it only makes Rui’s conviction stronger. He needs to fix up the robot, mess with its AI, remove those unfavourable features and make it more palatable for its users.

He’ll just wipe the AI as it is.

Lobotomise it.

Work from scratch, build it up so it can still serve its purpose, he can find a way to do that without giving it a whole personality.

It’s easy enough - Rui starts thinking up the specifics, mulling them over, finally happy he’s found a solution he approves of, until he looks over at Tsukasa.

He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Tsukasa look this upset. Not at school the other day, not when they’ve argued, not even after confessing and waiting for Rui’s response. Is he really that defensive over the repair-robot? This is getting out of hand, he needs to bring the conversation back to its intended purpose, Tsukasa’s feelings.

He isn’t given the chance, as Tsukasa speaks up. “Rui…” He doesn’t like the expression Tsukasa is giving him, it almost feels like pity. There’s a deep warmth overcome Rui, hot and sticky like an inferno - rather than comfort. For some reason Rui wants to run, to escape this, but he needs to push through Tsukasa.

“What?” It comes off more harsh than intended, and Rui immediately cringes at himself.

It doesn’t phase Tsukasa. “You know that’s not how any of us feel, right?”

What is he talking about? Whatever, he needs to end this. “I’m going to redo the robot’s AI, so it doesn’t matter.”

At that Tsukasa looks like he’s just been hit. Rui recognises panic behind his eyes, what did he say wrong now? “No! Don’t- Don’t do that, Rui.”

“Why do you even care so much about this robot?”

The response is a strange stare. Tsukasa looks confused, and a little bit hurt, he looks at Rui as if Rui said something wrong. Of course, he doesn’t have a response. There isn’t any good reason to get attached to a barely finished robot. Rui takes the victory, maybe they can now finally get back on track-

“Do you really not realise, Rui?”

Well, obviously not. Rui doesn’t like the sinking feeling this conversation is giving him, so he doesn’t say anything. Tsukasa gives him a serious look, direct eye contact.

“We haven’t been talking about the robot for a long time.”

There’s another wave of blazing heat, trying to engulf Rui. He can’t stand it. He shakes his head.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Tsukasa looks conflicted, “Do you want me to spell it out for you?” He doesn’t wait for a response. “The things you say you hate so much about the robot, they’re just aspects of your own personality.”

No, they are not having this conversation. This isn’t what Rui brought Tsukasa over to talk about, everything is going completely off script. He needs to direct this conversation back to Tsukasa. The heat is unbearable.

“You’re being ridiculous.” What are you doing, Rui? That’s too harsh, Tsukasa doesn’t deserve that, he’s only trying to help.

That seems to only strengthen Tsukasa’s resolve, who grabs onto Rui’s wrist tight. It burns. Rui resists the urge to pull back, as Tsukasa continues. “Please listen to me, Rui! I want to help you not feel this way, because you’re my- because I care about you!”

Don’t do it, Rui.

“Real rich from someone who can’t even call me his boyfriend.”

Stop.

“Why are you trying to fix me when you’ve got so many problems yourself, Tsukasa-kun?”

Please stop, Rui.

“I called you here to try and help you!”

You’re hurting him.

“I’m supposed to be the one helping you, so stop inflicting imaginary problems onto me!”

You’re going to regret this.

“At least I’m not in denial about myself!!”

The knife twists.

Tsukasa finally lets go of Rui, and the fire is extinguished.

He hasn’t said anything this whole time. Tsukasa’s face is tilted low, hair covering his eyes. Silence. A cold silence.

Rui has to get out of here.

It’s his own garage, he can’t exactly run away, and Tsukasa doesn’t look like he’s about to bolt, surprisingly enough. Rui struggles to breathe. He’s ruined everything. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. What can he do? Where can he go? In one small moment of clarity, he reaches for his phone, pressing play on Untitled.

It’s raining in SEKAI.

The sky looks like night with how thick of grey clouds it is. The rain isn’t corporeal, it doesn’t stain Rui’s clothes or drip from his hair - however the air still feels thick and humid, and Rui struggles to take a deep breath. It’s cold. Rui hugs himself, desperately. He can’t breathe. He can’t breathe. What is he even doing here? Where can he go? He doesn’t want to speak to anyone. His thoughts are trying to race through a thick syrup, crashing into each other before they can even fully form.

Rui collapses onto the flower bed, holding onto its stone edge with tight fingers. He might throw up. He grits his teeth and shuts his eyes tight, wishing that SEKAI had some magic powers to rewind time, and then briefly considers how easy it would be to invent a time machine.

He doesn’t even have the energy to react when strong footsteps bound towards him at a fast pace. Tsukasa basically collapses next to Rui, holding onto his shoulders tightly.

“Thank goodness…” Rui finally gets a look at Tsukasa’s face. His eyes are red and puffy, but sharp and serious, his mouth in a tight line. Rui can’t handle this, he needs to get out of here again.

He can reach his pocket, grab his phone, and leave. If Rui has to, he can kick Tsukasa out of his garage. Tsukasa is only holding onto his shoulders, so his lower arms are free. Snaking his left hand into his pocket, Rui breathes a quick sigh of relief when he feels contact with his phone. Now to just press pause-

In an instant, Tsukasa is grabbing Rui’s phone and throwing it as far down the path as possible.

Rui is frozen, the other hand still on his shoulder. It slides down to his wrist, keeping a firm grip.

“Please… listen to me before you run away.”

Tsukasa sighs shakily, running his spare hand through his hair before holding onto Rui’s other wrist. “Can we talk? We can move to a more secluded place in SEKAI.”

“Do I have a choice?” Rui isn’t sure why he’s still fighting back.

“...” Tsukasa looks down at him, he looks about ready to cry. “I’m sorry for throwing your phone. If I promise to give 12,000% in talking about my feelings and trying to be vulnerable, can you do the same for me?”

What a ridiculous offer. Isn’t Tsukasa here to break up with him? Get angry at how Rui treated him back at the garage? Back out of the relationship because he can’t handle being with another man?

Rui feels a knife twist in his chest. Doubling over, he finds himself nodding without even thinking.

“Thank you,” Tsukasa sounds relieved. “Can you stand? I think it’s best if we go somewhere more private.”

He isn’t sure why they’re dragging this whole thing out, but Rui slowly stands up. It’s difficult, he sucks in a breath again to try and help stabilise. This time Tsukasa reaches out, moving his left hand to hold Rui’s, and his right to rest firm on his lower back. Rui wants to cry at the kindness.

“I’m not mad at you.”

It looks like Tsukasa has that same look of pity, does Rui really look that bad right now?

“I want us to talk about what’s been bothering us. Both of us.” Tsukasa takes a deep breath, and for some reason Rui finds himself copying. “Can we do that?”

Rui isn’t sure he’s even thinking anymore. He nods, letting Tsukasa slowly walk him towards a small practice tent.

There’s a pile of non sentient plushies and cushions in here. The room seems to be some sort of storage for a small stage. Tsukasa places Rui onto the cushions gently, still holding his hand.

“Can I trust you not to run away?”

Rui is sure he couldn’t get away even if he tried. Tsukasa is both stronger and faster at this point, and Rui doesn’t think he could even walk in a straight line right now. He nods sadly, watching as Tsukasa lets go and closes the door, then grabs a broom and props it against the handles, essentially locking it from the inside.

Tsukasa takes a seat on the cushions, next to Rui. Close enough that they can easily hold hands, but they don’t.

Rui finds himself talking without even thinking. “I’m sorry,” He looks down, feeling Tsukasa’s gaze. “About what I said in the garage. I didn’t mean it.”

There’s a small sound, a tongue tutting against the roof of a mouth. “It’s okay, I knew that I was pushing into something personal.” Tsukasa sighs. “I’m sorry, too.”

Tsukasa moves into a more comfortable position, Rui supposes, and looks straight into Rui’s eyes. He seems nervous. “Can you tell me what’s going on? What did you mean with all that stuff about helping me?”

Rui figures that putting it as blatant as possible is probably what Tsukasa wants. “I know you’ve been having trouble with your sexuality.”

Tsukasa looks as if he’s been hit somewhere sensitive, cringing to himself and looking physically pained. Rui remembers the bear. “It’s… well, figuring it out wasn’t particularly difficult, but I guess I am having some difficulties with… well…” Tsukasa trails off, looking away before snapping back to Rui, pleading. “You promise we’ll talk about your stuff after this, right?”

Rui’s mesmerised. He nods.

Tsukasa takes this as the green light to continue. “I… Coming to terms with it has been a different story.” He looks incredibly sad, and Rui wants nothing more to comfort the other.

“I understand. I’ve been trying to think of a way to comfort you. I’m not used to being an active helper in something like this.”

“No, that’s not on you to have to help me.” Tsukasa looks even more upset, Rui recognises it as guilt. “This is something I should have figured out already on my own.”

“I’m your boyfriend, Tsukasa.” The other gasps softly. “I can think of no better person to help you through this. Even if it would have been more ideal for us to both be comfortable to ourselves before committing to another, I am happy dating you regardless, and I want nothing more than to try and make you accept yourself.” Rui didn’t even notice that he had taken Tsukasa’s hands in his own, squeezing them softly. Tsukasa squeezes back.

It seems like the walls are crumbling, Tsukasa’s face scrunches up before he moves their joined hands to his face, covering it as the first few tears fall.

“I’m scared, Rui.”

Hearing it directly hurts Rui more than he thought imaginable. Before he can overthink things, Rui pulls Tsukasa into a hug, and the smaller boy melts into it, arms wrapping around Rui’s waist as he buries his head into Rui’s clavicle. Rui puts a shaky hand onto Tsukasa’s back, slowly rubbing circles into it.

“It’s okay, it’s okay. Do you want to talk about why you’re scared?”

“I don’t want to have to hide myself from people. But I can’t… I can’t be open about it, but that’s not fair on you. But I’m so scared, what if this means I can’t achieve my dream?”

“I’m happy to wait as long as you need.” Rui means it. He’ll take what he can have of being with Tsukasa, even if it means he has to hide part of himself too. “And what about your dream? I don’t see why it shouldn’t be possible.” Rui doesn’t have it in him to explain the long term connections theatre has with gay communities overseas, because he doesn’t think it’s the appropriate time to bring that up. He doubts Tsukasa would just be okay with going to America and never looking back. And there are understandable concerns far beyond just the stage of theatre.

“I always imagined my life as a star. I’ll marry a woman, a world class actress of course, have two children, a son and a daughter, and be the talk of all the theatre gossip. A power couple on and off stage.” He sniffs loudly. “And that’s gone… I’m never having that. I can’t get married, I can’t have kids.”

“You never know what the future will hold.” Rui runs his fingers through Tsukasa’s hair. His neck is clammy.

“I started following politics even before figuring all this out, I think it’s better not to hope in these situations.”

Rui frowns, completely understanding. He decides not to push that point further. “I mean it when I say it’s okay to take things at your own pace. I don’t mind waiting.”

Tsukasa finally pulls away to look at Rui, analysing him. He nods slowly. “I believe you. But I’m still going to have times where I struggle to call you my boyfriend, struggle to have affection, even when it’s just the two of us.”

“I can handle it.”

“Can you really? You sounded upset about it earlier.”

Rui’s heart further breaks thinking about his comments before. He nods, wrapping his arms tight around the other. “I can. I was upset that we weren’t talking about it, that we were pretending things were okay. I want to be able to support you when you’re feeling like that.”

Tsukasa nods. “The other day… I… I started to feel really comfortable with you, and then I let my guard down at school, and other people noticed.” Tsukasa gulps, tears filling his eyes again. “I got so scared, Rui. I know it was fine this time, but what if something happens and they notice who I’m texting? Everyone already has so many rumours about us, what if we go from a couple of weirdos to a couple who are weirdos? And we’re iconic enough, what if that kind of thing spreads? What if it affects future jobs? People don’t want to hire Wonderlands x Showtime because they’re setting a bad example to children, or something. I could jeopardise not just my own dream, but everyone else’s too.”

Rui wants to just assure Tsukasa that it will be fine, but he knows it’s a lie. Technically, it’s a risk. Everything Tsukasa says could actually happen. They can only minimise the chances. He isn’t sure these words will work, but he tries, “I can make a contingency plan. I truly think things will be okay as long as we’re not explicitly romantic at school. Even if students suspect our behaviour is odd, or that our relationship has changed in some way, I think it will be unproven enough that I can distract from it with a fanciful enough explosion.”

Tsukasa raises an eyebrow. “You’re going to set off an explosion if people start to catch on?”

Rui nods, serious. “Nothing dangerous, but I can make a set of explosions just weird and distracting enough to get the whole school talking. They can be my emergency backup if anything like your worries happen. Other than that, if we make sure to not do any explicit romantic gestures at school, we should be fine.”

Tsukasa looks like he’s taking it in, his posture starts returning a bit more to normal.

“Maybe we can brainstorm weird explosion ideas once we’re both feeling a bit more normal.” For the first time since this conversation started, Tsukasa gives Rui a small smile. “Thank you, Rui.”

“You’re welcome,” the response comes easily. Before they let this conversation end though, Rui feels like he has to bring up SEKAI, and apologise for meddling in it. “I had my suspicions about how you were feeling, but SEKAI confirmed it.”

A flash of anxiety seems to spread across Tsukasa’s face, “What do you mean?”

“I believe it only is visible when Nene and Emu-kun aren’t around,” he quickly adds, to try and reassure Tsukasa. The anxiety seems to mostly fade. “The disappearing rainbow was the first hint, and then I came across a large bear plushie. He said that big bears are supposed to dance with little bears, but as a big bear he only wanted to dance with other big bears. At one point Miku-kun and KAITO-san found me, and tried to stop me talking to it, but by then I had already done so before, so I explained that I knew already, but didn’t tell them about us. I’m sorry if you’re not okay with that.”

Tsukasa nods slowly, taking it all in. “So Miku and KAITO know, huh…” Rui isn’t sure if he’s upset or not, waiting for Tsukasa to continue. He frowns slightly. “I guess if they’re manifestations of my feelings they were bound to know, but… it’s a bit concerning that I couldn’t keep something like this from them.”

Rui nods in sympathy. “That must be frustrating.” Rui supposes there’s a chance Miku-kun and KAITO-san knew even before Tsukasa. Tsukasa is looking a lot better, maybe now is the kind of time to try being a bit more lighthearted? “I accidentally came out to them, actually.”

He isn’t sure it’s the right comment to make, considering Tsukasa’s anxieties, but the other tilts his head to the side a little, curious. “How does that happen?”

“I tried coming out to the bear to cheer it up, and forgot that Miku-kun and KAITO-san were there.” Rui tries chuckling to himself, but it comes out a weird and wobbly mess. “They were both supportive and said they would keep it to themselves. Miku-kun actually asked if you knew, so I told her you did.”

“Hmm,” Tsukasa frowns a little. “I’m jealous of how relaxed you are about it.”

Rui’s mouth goes dry. “I’ve known for a long time.”

Tsukasa’s expression immediately betrays how curious he is, despite being under a layer of nerves still obviously present. “May I ask for how long?”

“Since the first year of middle school, although I think part of me suspected near the end of elementary school.”

“Damn, that really is a long time ago.” Tsukasa’s brows furrow. “Do you think in…” he thinks for a moment, “five years that I’ll be comfortable with myself?”

Rui nods, confident. “I truly do.” He thinks for a moment, supposing that telling Tsukasa more might help the other. “I didn’t let anyone else know until two years later, so you're already ahead of me.” The irony that he still hasn’t technically told Tsukasa doesn’t pass him by.

“Really?” Tsukasa gears himself up for another question. “How many people know?”

“You’re the third. Well…” Rui bites his lip. “Technically I haven’t…” He sighs to himself. Why is his heart picking up? Tsukasa obviously knows. “I’m gay, Tsukasa.”

Tsukasa’s face softens, giving Rui a genuine smile. “Thanks for telling me, even if I already figured as much.” He doesn’t say anything more, Rui wasn’t expecting it.

“I told Mizuki in middle school,” he’s not going to elaborate on why. “And I told Nene after we formed Wonderlands x Showtime.”

“That makes sense…” Tsukasa mumbles. “I really do appreciate you helping me with this, Rui.”

“Of course. Nene was very supportive, I will say, in case you ever feel like telling anyone else in the group.”

Tsukasa pales a little, but nods. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Rui isn’t quite sure where to go from here, but it does feel like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He wonders if Tsukasa feels the same way.

“Are you feeling any better now that we’ve talked about this?”

Tsukasa nods eagerly. “I really do. I’ll be sure to rely on you… I’ll be sure to rely on my wonderful boyfriend when I’m feeling nervous or scared about this.” His smile isn’t the same bright and confident one Rui is used to, but it’s getting there. Rui’s heart still sings at Tsukasa so sweetly calling him his boyfriend.

Tsukasa then pulls a face, looking guilty again. “I’m sorry about being so scared and upset when you weren’t feeling very well, I know that must not have helped.” He gives Rui a pointed look, the conversation has changed. “What was that about, anyway? I don’t believe you were just tired.”

“Ah, I was in SEKAI trying to comfort the bear plushie, but I said something wrong and really upset it. KAITO-san had to come and take me away, to stop me from hurting it more.” Rui frowns deep, remembering the sour memory. He needs to find the bear plushie again, maybe bring Tsukasa with him. “I don’t know why but… I got really emotional and frantic, and it made me feel really physically unwell and tired. I went home and slept for fourteen hours, and worried my mom enough that she called the school to let them know I was sick.” Rui honestly isn’t sure what that was, but he would be lying if he said it was the first time it had happened.

“I think…” Rui isn’t sure he should be saying this, but he gets the feeling Tsukasa wants him to. “I think I was so concerned with making the bear plushie feel better, because I was so scared of hurting you the same way. And then I made myself so emotional that I shouted at you and made you upset anyway. I’m sorry.”

Tsukasa takes one of Rui’s hands, mostly fiddling with it, but squeezing it occasionally. “I think the bear plushie knows, even if you upset it, that you were just trying to help.” He looks down, a slight pink appearing on his cheeks. “After all, the plushies really like you…”

“That is another change in SEKAI I noticed, yes.”

Tsukasa looks betrayed. “You knew!?” He throws his head into his hands. “That’s humiliating…”

Rui chuckles. “I think it’s really endearing.”

Tsukasa looks back up at him, face still pink. He waits a few seconds before his facial expression turns curious but serious. “Is that why you’ve been feeling so down about yourself? Because you’ve been stressing about making me feel better?”

Rui’s fight or flight kicks in, and he has to stop himself from trying to dart up. He promised Tsukasa they’d talk about both of them. He takes a calming breath. “That might be a part of it…” His eyebrows knit together, trying to think over the best way to explain things. “Truthfully, I had no idea I was feeling that way until you pointed it out today, so I was really surprised and probably didn’t react well. I apologise again.”

Tsukasa waves it off. “It’s really fine, I knew I was playing with fire.” He looks pensive, unsure until another burst of confidence rushes back. “Is there anything I’ve done that’s made you feel like I don’t appreciate any of those aspects of you?”

Rui knows the answer immediately. “Not at all. I think this is something internal.” He takes a deep breath, unsure why he’s feeling nervous again. “I think it comes from my past. I always think I’ve outgrown how I used to feel back then, but it keeps coming back.”

Admitting that out loud makes something click into place, but also brings back the uncomfortable heat from before. Tsukasa seems to notice something is up, and grabs Rui’s other hand, squeezing both of them firmly.

“I think…” Tsukasa frowns a bit, trying to find the right words. “I think that things from our past can take a long time to heal, and sometimes never will. It makes sense that you might feel this way sometimes, and I know my reassurances won’t help much, but I will be sure to tell you how wonderful every part of you is - no matter what!”

“Every part of you that those people made seem inconvenient, that’s what I like…” Tsukasa pulls an interesting face, before Rui is met with a brilliant smile. “Those are the things about you that I love the most.”

Ah. The uncomfortable warmth is replaced by something much more soothing, and Rui feels like he could melt into a puddle. The way Tsukasa looks at him, Rui must be betraying how flustered he feels. He wants to cover his face, but Tsukasa is holding both of his hands. The giggles escape Rui before he has a chance to stop them, and Tsukasa’s face only looks even more fond.

“Ah, one moment, Rui.”

Rui watches as Tsukasa stands up, taking a deep breath and stretching his arms up. He shakes his fingers around, hyping himself up as if to run a race. Rui jumps slightly at the loud sound of Tsukasa’s foot stomping into the ground, and then Tsukasa pulls a hand to his head and dramatically poses in a tense, despairing position.

“Pose number 148! Pushing through my fears of romantic affection for someone of the same gender!”

As always, Tsukasa is captivating in his charmingly strange ways, and Rui watches in awe. Tsukasa changes to kneel on one knee, it’s a very similar pose to other romantic style ones he’s done before, but he reaches out to Rui.

“Pose number 149! Telling Rui what I love about him!”

The whiplash of tone has Rui giggling to himself wetly, his body honestly unsure how to react. Tsukasa grins, fairly put on but not completely, and transfers from the pose to a more natural sitting position opposite Rui, grabbing his hands again and pulling them to his own chest.

“I meant it when I said that those parts of you that you dislike, those are the things I love. I know this won’t change how you feel straight away, but… I want to tell you.”

Rui gets the feeling that to an extent that Tsukasa is asking for permission, so he nods along. “Go ahead.” It’s shaky. Is he ready to receive Tsukasa’s love like this?

“Right,” Tsukasa takes a deep breath, and Rui thinks it’s more to comfort himself than Rui at this point. Then Tsukasa looks to Rui again, eyes full of determination. He speaks very matter of fact and quickly, in a way very much unlike himself usually.

“Rui. I love your voice, you’re far more expressive than you give yourself credit for. I love the way you tease me, and the dramatic flares you use shoot straight.. Shoot straight to my heart.” As he keeps talking, Tsukasa’s face turns more and more red. “Your laugh is breathy and so light, your happiness seeps out of it, and in turn that makes me even more happy. Sometimes you’ll even laugh with your full chest, and my heart picks up like crazy. Your curious nature is one of your strongest points, you truly care about everyone and everything around you, and while a lot of stuff goes over my head, I’m truly happy to see someone I care about so interested in things and enjoying them to their full extent.”

“You say you’re not meant for dazzling on stage, but.” Tsukasa pauses for a moment, looking nervous. “But that first performance of yours I saw, it…” He takes another deep breath. “A part of me fell in love with you the first time I saw you performing back in Phoenix Wonderland, and in that moment you were the most dazzling person in the whole park.”

“You say you’re only meant for making others shine, and that is a big part of what you do for us professionally, but.” Tsukasa is about as bright red as a person can get at this point, the blush rushing down past his neck. Rui tries not to stare. “But we all truly care about you and cherish our time with you, even without shows we love spending time with you. I love spending time with you. You’re so much more than our director, you’re our dear friend who we share our ideas and joys with. I have so much fun when we’re together, even when not working.” His eyebrows scrunch awkwardly. “So, uh. Yeah.”

Rui doesn’t know how to respond, doesn’t know if he can. Like the times before, his head is devoid of all feelings bar one - absolute happiness. It seems that Tsukasa takes this as a reason to continue on.

“Sorry, I didn’t really have it planned out what I would say.” He shakily brings a hand to Rui’s cheek to wipe away a tear that Rui didn’t even notice was there. “I know this won’t help long term, but I needed to say it.” There’s a slightly tense pause, and Tsukasa brings his hand back down to hold Rui’s again. “I do remember some tricks from the self help books I read for Nene’s sake recently, I wonder if any of those will help.”

Rui shrugs, “It wouldn’t hurt to give them a try.” It’s shaky. Wet. He squeezes Tsukasa’s hands like a lifeline. “Thank you, Tsukasa.”

Tsukasa seems to smile to himself, giving Rui an unusual but fond look.

“What’s so funny?”

Tsukasa sends a knowing smile. “Have you not noticed?” It’s light.

“Noticed what?”

“You’ve dropped the honorific.”

Oh. He supposes he has. Rui truly hadn’t noticed, but now that he thinks about it, he realises that he’s dropped them internally for a while now.

“I’ll make sure to still call you Tsukasa-kun in front of other people.”

Tsukasa smiles, warm. “I appreciate it, but when it’s just the two of us.” He pulls Rui’s hands closer to his face, and for a second Rui thinks he’s going to kiss them. “I like this.”

Rui feels like he’s on fire, and suddenly he has a thought that he has to get out right now, before it burns away.

“I love you.”

Oh, the look Tsukasa sends him in response is one of the best he’s ever seen. Truly, no more than now has Tsukasa ever rivaled the stars in the sky. This really is something special, and Rui commits it to memory.

“I…” Tsukasa trails off, face scrunching.

“You don’t have to say it back.” Rui means it. He didn’t say it to get a response.

Tsukasa shakes his head. “I want to, I…”

“It’s really okay, you’ll get there.” Rui wipes the hair out of Tsukasa’s eyes. Tsukasa nods, a frown on his face.

There’s a lot more they’ll have to talk about, more boundaries they’ll have to define, but for now the conversation has been exhausting enough that Rui is happy to let those slide for next time. He lowers his hand from Tsukasa’s face, and gently takes Tsukasa’s other hand again.

“There is something I think I can do, though…”

Rui looks at Tsukasa, eyebrows raised. They only raise even more as Tsukasa slowly turns pink again.

“I want…” Tsukasa’s grip tightens, nearly painfully so. He doesn’t make eye contact. “Can I kiss you, Rui?”

Nevermind, those conversations will never happen because Rui Kamishiro is going to die on the spot.

“Of- Of course.” He’s both nervous and excited. He knows whatever anxieties he’s got that Tsukasa must be feeling so much worse. Finally the other makes eye contact, determination clear as day on his, now, bright red face.

“Okay.”

Rui watches as Tsukasa leans in, but closes his eyes a bit sooner than he would like - thinking that would probably help Tsukasa go through with it. There’s a bit of hesitation, and it only makes Rui’s heart pump even faster. He can feel his pulse in his whole body, and an almost tingly feeling in his hands where they’re still touching Tsukasa’s. It’s really happening.

Ah - Tsukasa’s lips are soft.

It’s a bit longer than a peck, but doesn’t go anywhere beyond that. Tsukasa pulls back after about a second, face flush with relief.

“I did it…”

Rui can’t feel anything, are they still holding hands? Giggles tumble out of his mouth, and he’s sure he looks crazy right now.

“Thank you, Tsukasa.”

There’s a frantic shaking of blonde hair, “I should be the one thanking you.”

Rui doesn’t want to push his luck by asking for another kiss, so he pulls Tsukasa into a hug instead, snuggling into the other boy’s neck.

They stay there for a while, not feeling the need to talk. This time, the silence is comforting, a warm blanket that they can let their feelings fester in. It’s nice. It’s really nice. It’s so nice, in fact, that Rui feels his eyelids drooping soon after.

Jolting awake just as his body is about to fall asleep, Rui makes eye contact with Tsukasa as the other chuckles.

“I think maybe it would be good if we went back, so you can get some rest.”

Part of Rui wants to stay, it wouldn’t be the first time he fell asleep in SEKAI, and this way he also gets to fall asleep snuggled up to Tsukasa. But he’ll listen, for now.

“I’m.” Exhausted. “I… think the emotions of today have tired me out.”

Tsukasa nods, giving Rui one final squeeze before standing up. Once he’s up he holds out a hand for Rui, who gladly accepts. Once Rui’s up, they keep their hands intertwined. Rui’s left and Tsukasa’s right. Tsukasa gives it a faint squeeze.

“Can I come over to your place tomorrow after practice?”

“Of course.”

Maybe they’ll talk more. If so, Rui is looking forward to it, even if it involves peering more into his own heart.

Hand in hand the two wordless exit the practice tent, back into SEKAI proper.

The rain has cleared the way to the typical sunny skies of the Wonderland SEKAI.

And what happens when you get sunshine after rain?

A rainbow.