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depollute me, pretty baby

Summary:

It was okay, and it was normal, and it was Will. Liking men wasn’t sick, or perverted, or any of the other things that had been drummed into him his entire life. It was something one of them could be, and it could be okay. If Will could like men and have it be okay, then why couldn’t Mike?

OR: Will comes out to their friends and families, and it triggers a wave of realisations for Mike, which he decides to do something about.

Notes:

It was between writing this and losing all faith that queer love would ever get to be authentically represented and centred in mainstream media, so I wrote this. I've already said so much about my thoughts on vol. 2 on my Tumblr (@m00nbig), and now I'm just tired. I spent the last about six hours straight to cope, and I'm hungry. I hope you all enjoy.

Title from We'll Never Have Sex by Leith Ross.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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“I don’t like girls.”

He didn’t like girls. Will didn’t like girls. He… Liked guys? He was–

A multitude of words that Mike had heard on TV or the radio or hurled at one of them from across the street filled the gap, but none of them were right – not for Will. Nothing spoken so hatefully could ever be true about Will.

Yet here he was, saying he didn’t like girls. He liked men. That was– It wasn’t meant to be something he could be okay with. Everyone had always called it a disease, an abomination, but how could Will ever be either of those things? He was just Will.

So the only answer left that Mike could come to was that it had to be okay.

It wasn’t like it would be the first time other people were wrong; the world had called them all freaks and claimed there was something wrong with them their whole lives, and they had been wrong. Maybe when they had called Will the names they had called him his whole life, they didn’t have to have been wrong about them applying to Will, just wrong about it ever being a problem in the first place.

Maybe it was okay.

“I– I mean, I do, just… Not like you guys do. And I, uh, I had this… This crush on someone, even though I know… I know they’re not like me.”

Mike couldn’t concentrate on a word Will was saying, not when he was staring at him like that. His eyes were big and brimming with tears, begging for Mike to understand, and to be okay with it – to accept him.

And all Mike could do was stare back, as his world came crashing down around him, like a tidal wave tearing down towers he’d built, and believed in, and had had no reason to believe wouldn’t stand the test of time.

It was okay, and it was normal, and it was Will.

Liking men wasn’t sick, or perverted, or any of the other things that had been drummed into him his entire life. It was something one of them could be, and it could be okay.

If Will could like men and have it be okay, then why couldn’t Mike?

He couldn’t believe he had never even been aware of the possibility, but now that he was, he couldn’t go back. It was the reason he could never tell El he loved her, it was the reason he had been so lost in Will’s absence, and it was the reason he wished this room were empty right now, save for him and Will, so he could finally make up for lost time and put his newfound knowledge to use.

“But– But then I realised, he’s just my Tammy.”

Tammy? Who on earth was Tammy? And who was “he”?

Right, Will had a crush on someone– Wait! What?!

Mike had been so, so lucky to have so many pieces fall into line – he knew he liked men, as did the person he liked – and now that he looked back, had liked for as long as he could remember – and Will liked someone else?

“And by Tammy, I mean it was– It was never about him. It was… It was about me,”

So… He didn’t like that guy anymore? He had said he wasn’t like them, too… So, Mike still had a chance?

It would take time – and a lot of it, he had been a crappy friend – but he could get there. He could tell Will how he felt – about men in general, not Will, of course, no need to scare him off – and he could become a good friend again, and maybe, just maybe, if he got lucky enough, it could work out.

He’d been lucky enough to make it this far; surely Mike’s luck could pull through once again.

“--and I thought I was finally okay with myself, but… But then today… Today, Vecna showed me what would happen if I did this, if I told you guys… The truth. He showed me a future, and in this future, some of you are just… Are just worried for me. Worried that things will be harder for me, and it just makes me feel like something’s wrong with me. So… So I push you away, and for the rest of us, we just drift apart more and more and more and more until… Until I’m alone. And I know none of that has happened, and Vecna can’t see into the future, but he can see into our minds, and he knows things, and it just– It just felt so real. It felt so real.

Maybe Vecna was right for once, and that would happen, but it wouldn’t matter. Maybe Will would lose everyone else, but he would always, always, have Mike. It wouldn’t be the same, not really, but together, they could learn to live with it. They could make their own life again, maybe even find other people like them, but they would always be able to accept eachother.

“Will–” Joyce interrupted Will’s sobs, and Mike was forcibly reminded that everyone else was still here, and none of them had said a single thing. Fine, they hated Will for this; they could hate Mike, too, once they knew. It could be him and Will – and Joyce – and the rest of them; they didn’t need any of them. If they wanted to believe what they’d been taught over the proof of who they were, that he and Will had been showing them all their lives, then fine, so be it.

“--You gotta listen to me, that will never ever happen. You’ll never lose me. Ever.” Joyce continued, and it was nice to have one person, at least.

“Okay– Okay–” Will stuttered out through sobs.

“And you’ll never lose me,” Jonathan added, and Mike couldn’t have been happier. Jonathan walked straight over to Will and drew him into a hug, and Mike almost couldn’t believe that Will got to keep his whole family – well, not El or Hopper, but most of his family. Sure, it wouldn’t be pretty when Hopper refused to be with a woman who let someone like Will stay under her roof, but they would work it out. Will didn’t have to lose them.

“Or me,” Lucas added, and Mike’s heart almost burst on the spot. Jonathan and Joyce were Will’s, and he was happy for him, but Lucas? Lucas was just as much Mike’s as he was Will’s. He at least got to keep someone

“Or me.” Dustin echoed, as the two of them joined Joyce and Johnathan in hugging Will, and Mike almost had to pinch himself. His whole party, his friends since they were in elementary school, and he didn’t have to lose a single one of them.

Well, he wouldn’t when he told them, but he hadn’t even told Will yet– So Will didn’t know he wouldn’t lose Mike either! Shit!

“Or me,” Mike hastily added, hoping the beat of hesitation wouldn’t read as dishonesty, as he joined the rest of them in hugging Will, hoping that his racing heart would be thought to only be because of Will’s reveal.

“Or me,” El added, and at that one, Mike almost lost his battle against the tears that threatened to fall. Even El? Was anyone going to have a problem with it? There was no way, right?

“Or me,” Robin added, just before everyone pulled out of the hug they had wrapped Will in, “Guess you didn’t need truth serum, huh?”

“Sorry, this sucks, but you’re gonna have to hug me,” Max told Will, before he laughed wetly and walked over to her. Even Max. Mike had no clue how they could have been so lucky to have all of their friends be able to disregard what they had always been told to support Will.

“Just imagine I’m hugging you really tight, okay?”

When he pulled back, Will turned to El and started discussing their plan, but in all honesty, Mike couldn’t have cared less, not when all he could think of were those who hadn’t yet said a word.

Steve, Murray, and Robin’s friend Vickie, Mike didn’t even spare a second thought, but Nancy? His own flesh and blood? Who had sworn that they could tell eachother everything? That one stung. But maybe he was being greedy, maybe Nancy was the sacrifice he had to make to get everyone else. He wished he could have them all, but at least if he got to keep the rest of his friends, he could live with losing her. Even if it felt like he was going to have to live with having a piece of himself torn out.

But for now, he needed to talk to Will and let him know that he wasn’t the only one. He could figure out a plan for how to tell El – maybe not that he liked men, there was a big difference between hearing that your brother didn’t like girls and that your boyfriend didn’t like girls – but at least end things with her kindly, once and for all. Then he would get started on getting himself back in Will’s good books, and if he played his cards right, maybe one day he would see Mike the same way Mike saw him.

 

----------

 

Being this close to Will after everything that had come out that day left Mike feeling like his skin was on fire. As they drove through the Upside-Down, he had Will sitting to his left and El to his right, and even in the face of all the danger they were in, all he could think about was the brush of his arm against Will’s.

It wasn’t long before they were parking for their first drop off, right outside Hawkin’s lab. Nancy opened the door of the truck and hopped out, turning to face the rest of them as she began to speak.

“Okay, just to go over this one last time, El, Kali, Max, and Will will go to the tub to enter Henry’s mind, and Joyce and Hopper will be on lookout to make sure nothing tries to come for them.”

He couldn’t leave Will, not before they’d talked. What if something went wrong and he never got to tell him? No, no way.

“In the meantime–” Nancy tries to continue, but Mike didn’t let her get very far.

“I want to go with them.”

All eyes turned to stare at him.

“Wh– Mike, we’ve been over this! We’ll need all the help we can get to make sure we get all the kids out – and the bomb! You and Dustin are the only ones who know how it works!” Nancy argued back, and she had that look in her eye that Mike was far too used to for his liking; the one she employed when she was trying to solve him like a puzzle. He hated it, and he wasn’t sure which he hated more: how often she got it right or how often she got it wrong.

“That’s exactly why I should go with them! What if something goes wrong and you don’t get a chance to set the bomb? You need someone on the other team who can set it! And we’ll be closer to the exotic matter, anyway!”

“Mike, I don’t need you to protect me. I have Will, and Hopper, and Kali, and–” El tried, but she only managed to frustrate Mike more.

“It’s not about you!” He yelled back, before realising how that sounded. His eyes instinctively darted to Will’s for a moment before darting away, as the shame crept onto his face.

“I– I mean, it’s not that I think I need to go with you– To protect you, or whatever. I just– It’s the bomb. That’s it.” He insisted weakly and tried to shove down his guilt at the flash of hurt on El’s face.

After a long, tense silence, Nancy finally conceded, “Fine, whatever, I guess it can’t hurt.”

She stared at him with a look that read plain as day, “I trust you, you better have a good reason for this.”

He hoped she wouldn’t read him as easily as he read her.

“While they’re doing that, the rest of us will be at the Squawk, and once the tower pokes through, we send the signal for you all to pause it. We get the kids out, signal that we’re done, and you take Vecna out, once and for all. Once we’re out, you set the bomb and run for the gate. Any sign of danger, and you forget about the bomb, and we come up with something else later, okay?”

“Understood,” El confirmed, as the rest of them nodded in agreement.

“In that case… Good luck, kick his ass.”

“We will,” El confirmed once more, and together, the seven of them hopped out and made their way into the lab.

 

----------

 

“Hey, Will– Wait up a second.”

Ahead of him, El and Kali also stopped, forcing Max to come to a halt as well – Mike could only be grateful they had already split off from Joyce and Hopper.

“I’ll just be a second, you three go in and make sure everything’s set up, they’re going to be a while anyway.”

El hesitated for a second before pursing her lips, “Don’t be long.”

With that, they were alone.

“Mike, what–” Will began, but he didn’t give him a moment before he started dragging him away, searching for somewhere they wouldn’t be overheard.

“Wait, hold on, what is this–” Will asked, growing increasingly alarmed as he was dragged down the corridor until Mike felt they were far enough away, opening the first door they passed, revealling large storage closet, which he yanked Will into and closed the door firmly behind them.

“Mike, what the hell is going on?!” Will demanded, and it took everything in Mike to not immediately blurt everything out – he had to do this right.

Well, close to right, at least. He could only contain himself so much.

“It’s not just you. Who– Who doesn’t like girls. I’m– I–” Mike’s brain ground to a halt once more as the weight of it all finally caught up to him, and how much this all meant; he had been so caught up in Will that he had ignored everything else. This changed everything; every vision he had ever had for what his life was supposed to be had been demolished in an instant. It was supposed to be him and El, moving somewhere far from Hawkins, but still visiting Mike’s family for the holidays, and finally, everything would get to be, and feel, normal. Maybe it was okay to be like him and Will, but that didn’t mean everyone else agreed. His life would never be normal now; for the rest of his life, he’d have to hide from people. For the rest of his life, the world would see him as the freak they had always said he was–

“Whoa, Mike– Mike, hold on, just breathe,” Will instructed with a note of panic as he guided Mike to sit down on the floor. Will demonstrated taking in deep breaths, and after a few moments, Mike managed to control his breathing enough to stutter out an apology.

“Sorry–” He croaked, “–’m sorry, I’m not as– As used to this. It just all–”

“I get it. I get it, don’t worry.” Will quietly reassured him, as they sat there together, on the floor of the storage closet, as Mike finished calming down.

“So you– You think–” Will began cautiously, but Mike cut him off.

“I don’t think, I know,” He scowled, giving Will a look that he hoped conveyed just how sure he was.

“You know, sorry,” He quickly corrected, “That you– You’re…”

“Yeah,” Mike whispered, barely louder than his jagged breaths.

“I– I’m really gonna need you to say it, Mike.” Will pleaded, and oh, with his eyes wide and brimming with tears once again, how could Mike not do whatever he asked?

“I’m like you. I don’t– I don’t like girls. I– I like guys.” Mike stuttered out, unable to bring himself to use any of the words that jumped to mind, which could’ve described what he was trying to convey. 

“You– But, El–” Will asked, his eyebrows knotting together with confusion.

“It’s why I couldn’t tell her I loved her, because I didn’t,” Mike explained, before realising just how truly horrible that sounded, to have strung her along all this time, “I mean– I didn’t mean to! I didn’t realise. I thought if I just tried harder, and was a better boyfriend, that eventually… But it never worked.”

Mike tried to hold it back, but he couldn’t keep his face from crumpling when he thought about all the time he had spent trying so desperately to force himself to feel how he was supposed to about El, and how long he had spent trying to figure out what on earth had to be wrong with him to not be able to.

“Mike–” Will whispered in a way that made Mike’s heart clench, before he pulled Mike into a crushing hug, just as the battle he’d been fighting against his tears ever since Will’s announcement was finally lost, and he broke down into sobs.

“It’s okay, nothing’s wrong with you,” Will whispered in his ear, hugging Mike tight as he sobbed into his shoulder.

Everything would always be different now, and there wasn’t a single thing he could do about it. Worse still, he had hurt El in his desperate charade to be ‘normal,’ and he would only hurt her more by breaking up with her.

But he didn’t have a choice. As much as everything was easier before, he couldn’t go back. He had been hurting El more by being unable to love her, and he would be doing himself a disservice by trying to lie to himself any longer. His life would be harder, but it would be his, and he would live it being true to himself.

He took one last deep breath before he pulled away from Will and rubbed the tears from his eyes.

“Sorry, like I said… Not as used to this,” He sighed.

“You don’t need to apologise, I just– I had no idea, I never would’ve thought–” Will tried, cutting himself off with a half laugh-half exhale.

“Yeah, well, neither did I,” Mike admitted sheepishly, shooting Will a weak smile.

“Wait, how long have you known?” Will asked, as his eyebrows knotted with confusion once more. Mike wanted to reach out and smooth it with his finger, but he couldn’t – it was still too soon.

“Well, uh… About how long ago did you tell everyone?” Mike asked tentatively.

“Um… About an hour ago, maybe? Why?”

“Then… For about an hour.” Mike winced as Will’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open.

“An ho– You only realised when I said it?! You’ve– You’re apologising for not being ‘used to this’ when you’ve only had an hour to process your whole life changing?! I don’t– How are you being so normal about this?!” Will demanded.

“Well, I was just sobbing into your shoulder, so I don’t know about normal–” He began, prompting Will to cut him off with a light punch to his arm.

“You know what I mean, that’s nothing. You just… In an hour, you’ve managed to become okay enough with this to– To tell someone–” Will said with sheer disbelief, looking Mike up and down as though he couldn’t quite believe he was real.

“Yeah, well, it’s mostly thanks to you,” Mike mumbled, as a look of awe settled onto Will’s face, “I just… When you told us, I realised that if you were, y’know, like that, then it had to be okay– That it was something that was okay to be, and everything kind of just… Clicked.”

“Wh– I hated myself for liking you for so long, and just like that–”

There was more after that, but not a word of it got through to Mike, as for the third time that day, his world ground to a halt.

‘--for liking you–’

Not liking guys, liking Mike.

Will liked Mike. Will liked him back.

“–Hello? Earth to Mike?” Will asked, waving his hand in Mike’s face, “You okay? I’m just teasing, I’m glad you didn’t have to go through–”

“You like me?” Mike gasped softly, cutting Will off, whose face morphed from worry to disbelief to horror in about half a second.

“I didn’t– I didn’t mean to say that, not like that– I’m–” Will stammered, but Mike didn’t let him worry for a second longer than necessary.

Mike Wheeler had always had a way with words – he was a writer, after all. But right now, he had no desire to put his skills to use. He had wanted this for too long without even realising, so instead of reassuring Will that it was okay, or that he liked him back, Mike forwent words entirely, grabbing Will’s face and pulling him in, closing the distance between them and slamming their lips together.

It was more incredible than he could have ever hoped it would be, but he could only appreciate it for a moment before he realised that Will was frozen solid, not moving a muscle, most importantly, not kissing him back.

Mike pulled back in an instant, his eyes opening wide, but as he started to say, “I’m sor–” Will cut him off with a hiss of “Shut up.

All of a sudden, he was being yanked back in by his vest, and Will was kissing him back. Scratch what he had thought before – this was more incredible than he could have ever hoped it would be. All of a sudden, everything anyone had ever said about kissing, and romance, and love made sense. All this time, he had thought it was all Hollywood bullshit, but it had been real; he had just been looking in the wrong place.

Mike kissed him like the world was about to end – because it very well might – one hand shooting up to the back of Will’s neck, while the other pressed against his back, pulling him in closer. Will’s hand, the one that wasn’t clenching Mike’s vest like it was his only tether to life, tangled itself in Mike’s hair and pulled, causing Mike to softly gasp into Will’s lips. For what may have been the first time in his life, Mike felt truly himself and free, and he couldn’t help but wonder if there was a way he could spend every single second of the rest of his life doing this, until–

“Mike?! Will?! Where are you? This isn’t funny!” El’s panicked voice called out, muffled through the door and far away enough that they could only just make out her words. He and Will both jerked back at the same moment, their eyes widening as they realised what they had just done.

Shit, I haven’t broken up with El yet!” Mike hissed.

“Oh my god, I just kissed my sister’s boyfriend,” Will whispered, staring back at Mike with a look of pure horror.

“Your sister’s gay, soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend!” Mike corrected, because really, they were two very relevant points.

“Still my sister’s boyfriend, Mike!” Will hissed back, and they stared at each other in abject horror before Mike couldn’t help but grin, just a little, which coaxed a snort from Will, which turned into both of them doubling over with laughter on the floor of the supply closet.

Even as they heard El march down the hallway, they couldn’t help themselves, even as Will reached over to quickly try and fix Mike’s hair. It wasn’t until the door swung open and Mike was faced with her rage and panic head-on that he could swallow his giggles, as did Will.

“What are you doing in here?” El asked furiously, until she took in their states, looking Mike up and down as her face morphed into concern, “Were you– Crying?”

“I, um… Yeah, but I’m fine now,” Mike replied, hoping he looked appropriately guilty for how long they had been gone, “Sorry, I just needed to… To tell Will something– Quickly. We got a bit sidetracked. Sorry.”

Mike glanced over at Will, and couldn’t keep his face from softening as he took in the sight of him – he was glowing. He looked happier than Mike had seen him in years, his eyes sparkling even in the dim light of the upside-down, and his lips… Mike couldn’t believe he had done that, and could only hope that the lighting was poor enough that El wouldn’t be able to notice.

El hesitated for a moment, looking between them, before giving in, “We can talk about this later; we need to go back, now.”

“Lead the way,” Mike replied with a nod as they both scrambled up, and the second El turned her back, he grabbed Will’s hand, lacing their fingers together as they followed behind her.

Will shot him a truly withering look, mouthing, “Talk to her!”

Mike gave him a look back, mouthing, “After!” to which Will rolled his eyes and turned his head away, but he couldn’t hide the wide grin that crept across his face, nor the fact that he made no effort to pull his hand from Mike’s.

Mike had no delusions that things would be easy now, but none of that mattered, not when he finally knew who he was, and he was hand-in-hand with the boy of his dreams – not when almost all of their friends knew about Will and loved him regardless. They would defeat Vecna, and he would talk to El, and together, he and Will would make things work, and they would finally get their happy ending.

Notes:

Hope you liked the fic, and that it made you feel a little better about whatever the fuck those episodes were. I have no real concept of whether this is good or not because it's just straight copium, but let me know your thoughts in the comments, or yap to me on Tumblr.

Pretty sure I misunderstood the plan, and I definitely have no clue what the teams will be, but whatever, its fanfic, I can make it up. Also, shout out to every byler fic tagged first kiss that I had to study because I truly have no idea how to write kissing.

Also, Mike thinking Nancy is homophobic is all in his head, just like it was with everyone else. It's just the 80s so gay people are scared of people around them hating them or hurting them for being gay, HEAR THAT DUFFER BROTHERS?? WILL WOULDN'T COME OUT TO HALF THE TOWN JUST SO HE DIDN'T HAVE TO BE SCARED. Sorry, still pissed.