Work Text:
r/Advice
u/blackgoat
My roommate is terrorizing me
I (20sM) recently got accepted to work at a company, which also has covered housing. So, I obviously moved in, because considering the nature of my job, it’s a much more convenient situation overall. However, what I didn’t account for was that my roommate (20sM) would be a legitimate psychopath.
I knew there would be a roommate situation involved, but I wasn’t really concerned, because I figured I would just dominate them into submission before any issues could arise. But this guy (let’s call him Soreum) is the worst possible roommate I could have ended up with!
For one, he’s the reason I lost my eye during the company hiring process (which involved an aptitude test), and I’m still upset about it. But, of course, the higher-ups are obsessed with him because of his ridiculously pretty face and talents, so he received no consequences for his actions whatsoever.
Now that we’re living together, things have only gotten worse! Have you ever seen one of those stereotypical horror movies where the roommate is possessed? Yeah, that’s basically my life. I question if he’s human sometimes.
He stays up late watching cartoons in the living room, and he carries around a rabbit keychain everywhere that he talks to— which he apparently thinks talks back to him. He texts me every morning to look out for serial killers, and I didn’t even give him my phone number, so I think he must have gotten it from the company groupchat. The worst part is that around everyone else, he acts completely normal!
So, long story made short… my living situation is a disaster due to my roommate, who desperately needs a mental health evaluation, and I have no idea what to do.
I’ve already been avoiding him as much as possible by staying in my room, but I feel like I’m running out of options. Reddit, do you have any advice for me? How can I survive? I’m fearing for my life even as I type this…
decent_custard
have you tried requesting a room change?
blackgoat
I don’t think that would work out. I would have to provide a reason, and as I said, my higher-ups love my roommate— so I doubt they would believe me.
DM_ME_YOUR_APOSTLES
i’ve never been employed, why do you need to give them a reason? i feel like just being uncomfortable with your roommate is reason enough, no??
demonicjudge
I think OP just doesn’t want to leave his roommate…
blackgoat
Did you not read my entire post? I hate him.
coherent_anxiety
yeah so i’m stuck on the part where you said you were gonna “dominate your roommate into submission”
blackgoat
Not my current roommate. I meant the potential roommate I could’ve had. Which would’ve been much better than my current roommate.
perchance
OP it’s weird no matter how you put it, this changes nothing
are we sure your roommate is the crazy one…?
blackgoat
Did you read my post?
Sunfish
Your post leaves more questions than answers
demonicjudge
current theory: OP is upset he can’t dominate his roommate
blackgoat
I could dominate him if he wasn’t insane. Don’t underestimate me.
coherent_anxiety
…
Sunfish
Do you realize what you just said?
blackgoat
I didn’t mean it like that
a_gentle_breeze
What was this “aptitude process” that caused you to LOSE your EYE??
blackgoat
Due to the nature of my job, I can’t tell you.
Jackalope_
is OP working for the government
ValuableMishap
I feel like it would make more sense if OP was a criminal instead
blackgoat
I am not.
FriedSquid
how was your roommate involved then?
blackgoat
He had information that could’ve prevented me from losing my eye, but decided not to tell me.
guangshiguang
is he really responsible for that…?
perchance
Should’ve been smarter, OP
LilysAquarius
What’s with the victim blaming? If OP’s roommate could’ve prevented it, he should have.
eternal_epithet
get good lol
SpottedSending
Don’t let these people gaslight you, OP. I would be creeped out to.
coherent_anxiety
seriously, what’s with the rabbit thing? if my roommate was talking to dolls i would move out on the spot lol
Sunfish
OP, burn the keychain.
blackgoat
My roommate would kill me for real this time.
Xx_flameDragon_xX
better yet, burn the entire apartment down
M_P_M
Stay safe OP. Make sure to lock your bedroom door at night and look out for anything suspicious.
blackgoat
Thank you, I’ll do my best.
eternal_epithet
this story has to be fake
costcohotdog
as a portlander, some roommate situations really do just be like that
blackgoat
I’m in Korea.
cxnnamon
“mental health matters” until you talk to dolls and watch cartoons ig
Nick1920
Yeah this post feels kind of ableist. OP, have you considered your roommate is just mentally ill?
blackgoat
His actions are calculated, he knows exactly what he’s doing.
cxnnamon
psychopathy is a disorder too
demonicjudge
The plot twist is that OP is actually the mentally ill one and has been hallucinating his roommate being insane this entire time
FriedSquid
^^^ you should write novels
guangshiguang
jokes aside maybe we should also consider that OP might be unwell too…
blackgoat
I can assure you, I am not.
coherent_anxiety
no sane person talks like you. you’re also on reddit
Jackalope_
Yeah what that guy said
blackgoat
If you’re not going to be helpful, what’s the point in replying?
Xx_flameDragon_xX
dude have u used this website before lolol
decent_custard
is OP a reddit virgin?
blackgoat
I’m going to block you
decent_custard
NOOOOOO
athxnn
in all seriousness, be careful OP. it sounds like you’re kind of in a shady situation all around. avoid him if you can, and if you get the chance to move rooms, go with that
blackgoat
Thank you. I’ll take your advice to heart.
cxnnamon
you should make out with your roommate
blackgoat
I will not be doing that.
demonicjudge
It’s like toxic yaoi