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Its unreal. All of it. Will had just told not only his mom, but everyone who he is.
Including Mike.
It should feel refreshing. Why should he have ever looked to Mike for anything? He doesn't need him. He never has. He has himself.
Right?
-----
Trying to stay stable on the van was enough to get him to stop his thoughts for a moment. Barley stable, Will decides to sit down. The chaos around him all goes still. Sitting just himself on the metal plating of the van floor. He forgets where he is, how hes even gotten here. Nancy pushes past Mike trying to get up to Murray to get him to slow down, while Dustin yells directions on the opposite side of the van. But in this moment, he doesn't even see it. Doesn't even hear it.
Wills expression is blank as he stares at the cracking wall of the van. His fingers still trembling, his heart racing. Everything starting to go numb.
Why, after all hes been thinking about. Robins speech, his own coming out, does he feel unfulfilled.
He continues to stare blankly, visualizing all that's happened with him and Mike.
Why? Why is he thinking about this right now?
The time at the movies, the arcade, Halloween, in and out of hospitals.
Mike.
Every time hes had an encounter with Vecna, or the Mind flayer.
Mikes hand on his shoulder. The slight quiver of worry in his eyebrows-
"Will?"
"Hey Will!"
Wills eyes focus as the chaos of the van comes back to him.
"Hey, are you okay?"
There he is again. Even now. His hand on his shoulder, crouching on the floor to meet his gaze.
"Y-Yeah sorry. Just lost in thought."
When will he ever let it go? He wonders. Everytime he feels something off, Mike always notices. Hes never failed to.
A slight pause. Mike doesn't stand back up. He instead sits next to Will.
"You dont have to lie you know?"
Will looks at him. His face unreadable. Its how hes been lately. Will hasnt been able to tell how Mikes been feeling. Usually it comes easy for both of them. But now, despite this being the riskiest thing the party has ever done, he hasnt opened up to him. And neither has he.
"Im not. Im just nervous with all of this. Saving the world, defeating Vecna. Im worried we've missed something."
"Will...you're not the only one."
"I know...its just different when I've spent most of my life being Vecnas "vessel"...trying to find a way to escape him. I just want it to be over. Not just for me, but for all of us."
Will notices Mikes hand feels tighter around his shoulder.
"We're in this together right? No matter what happens."
It only happens for a second, but Will sees it immediately. A slight smile on Mikes face. He hasn't realized up until now how much hes missed it.
"Y-yeah. Always."
Suddenly, he feels better. Mikes smile, and the way he persists until Will feels alright.
It always works. Will just wishes it wouldn't anymore.
-----
The back of the van door slides open as everyone rushes out one by one.
Will and Mike wait in the back as everyone leaves before they do.
Stepping out of the van, Will feels Mikes gaze on him as he trails behind. But he ignores it, focusing on whats to come.
"Will wait!"
Will doesn't hesitate. Its always been whatever Mike wants. To Will, anything could wait. Despite knowing they should both get moving, he stops and turns back anyway.
"Can we talk for a bit? I..I know we should get going I just need to tell you something. Its important. I promise."
"Mike...just make it quick okay?"
Before Will can protest any further, Mikes already headed back towards the van. Sitting on the edge of the van where they had just exited.
Will comes to sit down next to him. His arms crossed as he stares at Mike waiting for an explanation. Hes never seen him this nervous. His hands stiff in his lap, and his face unable to lock eyes with Wills. As if hes waiting for Will to find what he wants to say for him.
"Mike...?"
"O-Oh right. Sorry..."
There's a slight pause. Mike straightens his posture and hesitantly looks at Will.
"It was really cool...What you did. Telling everyone about how you've moved on from your "Tammy" and finally found yourself. I..I just think I need to ask you this. Just in case I never get to."
Will nods at him, unsure where hes going with all of this, but hes glad hes finally able to speak to Mike alone like this, even if it is only for a few minutes.
"You drew the painting right? Dont lie to me Will. I should have realized it sooner...Ive just felt like such an idiot recently."
Will doesnt move. He couldnt possibly even if he wanted to. Mikes asking him something hes been avoiding to confront ever since he gave it to him.
His own feelings.
He needs to tell him.
There shouldnt be any issue with it either. He just needs to explain how hes moved on from Mike. That should be easy.
But his face is flushing, his heart races faster than it did before, and his eyes start to drift off of Mikes face in shame.
"Yeah.. I did. Im sorry for lying Mike... but I've moved on now...from you..."
The words come out slow and shaky. He doesn't feel sure of what hes said. Even though hes assured himself its the answer hes have been looking for.
Mikes eyes drift off of Wills for a moment. Looking down in despair. Like what Will said had drained him of any emotion he had left in him. Will only notices it slightly as he turns his face to look back at Mikes.
Will had expected it. He had lied to him. Mike had always hated secrets.
"So...when you told me back then in the van that you felt like you could be yourself around me, and that you needed me, was any of that true? Its just that... I've never felt like what I did ever mattered that much to you..."
Mikes voice was starting to trail off. Will had never seen Mike like this before.
Tears. Because of him. They were running down Mikes cheeks. Slowly. Will wanted to wipe them off, make him stop.
"Wh-at?! Mike of course what you did mattered!...its just that I've come to find myself now."
Mike looks at him. Hes stopped crying, but his eyes still ready to at any moment.
Slowly, Mike lifts his arm to grab Wills cheek.
Wills face goes red. Despite everything hes made himself to believe, despite his attempts, all it takes for Will to crumble is a single touch.
"Y-yeah..Will I get it...I just wished that maybe you'd... maybe you'd love me the same way I do."
"I love you Will. I-I cant believe Ive been an idiot for so long and I know you won't ever..."
Will doesn't think about it. Its as if hes only ever seen this version of Mike before. Mike crying, and pleading right in front of him. Will can't bare it.
Will kisses him.
Its quick. But Mikes already beaming.
"Mike...I guess we've both been idiots. You were never my "Tammy". You-you will always mean so much more to me than I can comprehend. I shouldn't have ever doubted it. Every time I feel like Im not worth anything, or that I cant do something, you remind me...its always been you."
Mike starts to cry again, but it isn't out of sadness this time. Its out of relief.
In that moment, Wills forgets about what could happen after today. Just for one moment they have each other. But, no matter what happens, Will will never let go of how he feels. Ever.
~cue Heroes by David Bowie~
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