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When Yin Yu woke up, he found it strange to find the spot beside him empty. Quan Yizhen usually wouldn’t get up this early; instead, he would lock Yin Yu in an octopus hug until Yin Yu convinced him to get up and dress. Although Yin Yu would scold Quan Yizhen for this, in reality, he enjoyed spending those moments with his husband before beginning the day.
Yin Yu smiled silly. After all these years, referring to Quan Yizhen as a spouse still made him embarrassed.
Not once had Yin Yu imagined this would be his life. If someone had told him he would end up marrying Quan Yizhen, he would have choked at such a poor joke. Yet, he was now years into a perfectly harmonious marriage. His work on Ghost City had also proven to be satisfying; his position as Waning Moon Officer was recognized and respected. It was ironic that he felt more fulfilled now than when he was actually alive, but Yin Yu couldn’t complain. He was happy, happier than he ever thought he could be. This was the life he had always wanted.
Having reminisced enough, Yin Yu stood up from bed. He wanted to know where Quan Yizhen had run to. He hadn’t told Yin Yu where he would go. It worried him, since his husband was infamous for causing problems without meaning to. Yin Yu had helped with the aftermath too many times already. So, the more trouble he could avoid, the better.
As he dressed, Yin Yu belatedly realized he was in Paradise Manor. He didn’t remember coming back here. He had long moved with Quan Yizhen to their own place. But it wasn’t completely strange either. Some days dealing with the city’s inhabitants left him extremely exhausted, so Yin Yu would stay over. He was grateful that Chengzhu had let him keep his room.
Ready to go out, Yin Yu tried reaching Quan Yizhen’s communication array, but the contact wouldn’t go through. It wasn’t the first time. No matter how many times Yin Yu insisted on it, Quan Yizhen kept forgetting to pay attention to calls from others. It didn’t matter. Ghost City had many eyes. Yin Yu only needed to ask around for a bit.
As expected, it didn’t take long for Yin Yu to find his husband’s whereabouts. With the directions given by the ghosts, he easily spotted Quan Yizhen among the stalls, talking excitedly to a vendor. Yin Yu approached him.
When Quan Yizhen saw him, he greeted happily. “Shixiong!”
“Yizhen, what are you doing?”
“This ghost is showing me some cursed dolls. They’re funny.” Quan Yizhen raised a deformed porcelain doll with glee.
Yin Yu acknowledged the doll with an amused expression, then turned to Quan Yizhen. “You’ve been ignoring the communication array again.”
“Ah, sorry.” Quan Yizhen put down the doll.
“No matter.” Yin Yu took Quan Yizhen’s hand in his and rubbed it softly. “I was surprised when you weren’t there this morning. Everything alright?”
Quan Yizhen followed Yin Yu’s movements with his eyes. “What?”
“You went out so early today. Did anything happen?” Yin Yu squeezed his hand. The gesture was second nature to him.
“I was taking care of a wrath in my territory.” Quan Yizhen’s gaze was stuck on their hands.
“You didn’t tell me.”
“I didn’t know you wanted to know, shixiong.”
Yin Yu let go of his hand, and Quan Yizhen finally looked up.
“No, I just…” Yin Yu cut his words. It was true that Quan Yizhen didn’t report to Yin Yu every single time he went to attend prayers. Yin Yu didn’t have a problem with that either, but somehow it struck him as odd. “I could have helped you. You are too reckless. It makes me worry.”
“You’re… worried about me?”
Yin Yu pinched his cheek. “Pitching compliments? Silly, of course I worry. I know you are more than capable, but I don’t want you to come back injured again.”
Quan Yizhen touched his reddened cheek, awe in his expression. “I’ll be careful.”
Yin Yu smiled. “Alright. Are you busy, or do you want to walk around?”
“Walk around with you, shixiong? Really?”
Yin Yu laughed at the clear excitement in Quan Yizhen’s voice. He held Quan Yizhen’s hand again and pulled him along without saying more. Quan Yizhen happily followed.
Ghost City’s gates were closed to foreigners during the day, so the unruly atmosphere was subdued. The number of businesses opened was fewer at this time. Honestly, Yin Yu didn’t care about the trinkets on sale—it was just an excuse to spend time with his husband—but Quan Yizhen looked around with great interest.
“Look, shixiong! These hair crowns are so shiny.” Quan Yizhen stopped before a stall selling jewelry.
“Oh, you’re not buying any of those.”
“Why not?”
“Last time you bought one, we had to exorcise the demon bound to it for days.”
“I haven’t bought this before.”
“Oh, really?” Yin Yu looked askance. “Guess you didn’t buy that spiritual-enhancing incense that made the house smell like death either.”
“I didn’t.” Quan Yizhen furrowed his eyebrows. “What are you talking about, shixiong?”
“Pretending it didn’t happen won’t make it true. Stop it, Yizhen.”
Quan Yizhen tilted his head. “Shixiong, I really don’t remember that.”
Yin Yu could see that Quan Yizhen’s confusion was genuine. A strange foreboding crept through his body.
“That… It wasn’t that long ago, but maybe you forgot?” Yin Yu proposed. “It was only a small matter, honestly. The house was fine after that.”
“What house?”
Yin Yu frowned. “What house? Our house, of course.”
“Ours?” Quan Yizhen’s eyes widened. “Shixiong, we don’t have a house.”
They both stopped walking. Their held hands fell apart.
“You… you really don’t remember?” Yin Yu's expression fell. “How? What’s the last thing you remember?”
Quan Yizhen pondered for a moment. “I don’t remember living with you at all.”
Yin Yu opened his mouth without knowing what to say. This was not a simple misremembering. If Quan Yizhen had forgotten even living together, it would amount to about a decade of memories. It was a long time to forget indiscriminately. If that was the case… could it be that Quan Yizhen had amnesia? It wouldn’t be a far-fetched conclusion. There were multiple artifacts, spells and beings capable of altering memories. Depending on the aim, this could range from changing specific memories to erasing every single memory of who the person is. Quan Yizhen was a martial god, so there would be people that would benefit from him forgetting things.
Still, few people could actually injure a god, so whatever happened shouldn’t be grave. Yin Yu composed himself. He needed to be tactful about this ordeal, lest he made Quan Yizhen unnecessarily tense.
“Did you find something or someone out of the ordinary this morning?” Yin Yu asked.
“Nothing strange.”
“What did you do when you found that wrath?”
“I beat it up,” Quan Yizhen said simply.
Yin Yu couldn’t help smiling. “I know, but I need the details of it.”
Quan Yizhen explained the entire battle to him. Nothing seemed to stand out. Quan Yizhen located the wrath—a full-muscle, no-brain monster that had been decimating the cattle of several towns—and confronted it. It had been a battle of stamina. No tricks or spiritual attacks, just Quan Yizhen’s sword against its claws. Quan Yizhen wore the monster out until he could land the final blow. The monster was no more. Quan Yizhen handled the remains, and that was it.
“I see, no spells or weird artifacts were left,” Yin Yu said. “Then would you let me see your arms?”
Quan Yizhen took out his cuffs and lifted his robes’ sleeves. Yin Yu observed his arms diligently, looking for signs of a curse, but Quan Yizhen’s toned arms were clean. Yin Yu finally took his wrist and put two fingers on it. He couldn’t perceive any odd fluctuations in Quan Yizhen’s spiritual veins. If nothing seemed out of place, then whatever was affecting Quan Yizhen must have been a subtle, sophisticated work, and that meant it would be harder to undo. At least for Yin Yu.
“Shixiong, what’s wrong?”
“Listen to me, Yizhen.” Yin Yu locked his gaze. “Don’t panic. I believe you’re under a spell, so you forgot a couple of things.”
“What things?”
“Well, a lot of things happened. We… get along better now, so…”
“So we have a house?”
“Yes.” Yin Yu didn’t want to reveal information without care. He didn’t know how Quan Yizhen would react.
“We have a house, and I forgot?” Quan Yizhen asked. “We live together, shixiong?”
“...Yes, we do.” Yin Yu smiled.
“I can’t believe I forgot that.” Quan Yizhen pouted.
Yin Yu patted his head. “Don’t worry, Yizhen. We’ll fix this in no time. We just have to find out what happened. Let’s talk to Chengzhu. He knows a lot more about memories than me. He should know what to do.”
“Alright,” Quan Yizhen acquiesced and followed him.
The couple went to find Hua Cheng. These days, when Xie Lian wasn’t in Ghost City, Hua Cheng would spend most of his time at Qiandeng Temple. When Yin Yu and Quan Yizhen found him, Hua Cheng was fighting for his dear life against the calligraphy paper stretched over the altar.
Yin Yu cleared his throat. “Hua Chengzhu, sorry to interrupt you. I’d like to request your help for a small matter.”
Hua Cheng looked over at Yin Yu and narrowed his eye slightly. “What happened?”
“I believe it’s some kind of curse. The type that causes memory loss.” Yin Yu patted Quan Yizhen’s shoulder. “However, I couldn’t find its cause. Would you know anything about it?”
“Let’s see.” Hua Cheng swiftly tossed the brush away and walked up to them. He took a glance at Yin Yu and hummed. “I thought your aura was different somehow. It’s true. You’re under a spell.”
“Huh?” Yin Yu furrowed his brow. “No, Chengzhu. It’s not me. It’s Yizhen. He’s missing memories.”
Hua Cheng glanced at the god. “I don’t sense anything unusual. What memories?”
“He’s forgotten about a decade, I believe. He doesn’t even remember us living together.”
Hua Cheng arched an eyebrow. “You living together. Is that correct?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure about that?”
Yin Yu didn’t understand what Hua Cheng was getting at. “Yes. We decided to after we… after we got married. You know that, Chengzhu.”
“Married?” Hua Cheng furrowed his brow.
“Married?” Quan Yizhen gawked.
Yin Yu didn’t expect the shock of both parties. “What’s wrong? Chengzhu, you…”
“I get it now,” Hua Cheng said. “You have false memories.”
Yin Yu processed the words. False memories. The notion was outlandish.
“W-what are you saying? Chengzhu, that isn’t right.” Yin Yu dismissed the idea.
Hua Cheng sneered. “I think I would remember if you had married the person you’ve expressed multiple times you hated.”
“Shixiong?”
“No—Well, I did say that, but it’s not the case anymore! That’s long in the past.” Yin Yu pacified Quan Yizhen, then turned to Hua Cheng. “Chengzhu, please don’t joke with me.”
“As amusing as I’d find that, I’m not.” Hua Cheng huffed. “Yin Yu, you’re the one who’s mistaken. You’re affected by an illusion.”
Yin Yu couldn’t believe it. He shook his head absentmindedly. “How can that be? I haven’t been in contact with anything that might cause that. I don’t have marks or traces that would imply so, either.” Yin Yu had become quite capable of detecting threats as Hua Cheng’s assistant. He would have noticed anything amiss in himself, at least.
However, wasn’t that the same for Quan Yizhen? There was nothing that alerted Yin Yu about him having amnesia. That’s why Yin Yu had sought Hua Cheng’s aid in the first place. Even so, Yin Yu couldn’t accept that his memory was faulty, because that’d mean…
Hua Cheng could see the panic on his subordinate’s face. He sighed and softened his tone one degree. “I’ve seen this thing at the ghost market. It’s a popular potion among ghosts. It creates dreams from your desires. Mostly harmless unless you abuse it. It dissipates on its own after you wake up, but you’re trapped in the illusion. It can happen when your mind is unstable.”
“A potion?” Yin Yu didn’t remember taking anything like it. He would never drink something offered by the ghosts. Doubt filled him. After all, he had so many vivid memories of his life with Quan Yizhen. He refused to believe it was all but a crafted play. He felt it profoundly real. The love he held for Quan Yizhen couldn’t possibly be made up.
“Well, it’s nothing to worry about. I can dispel it.” Hua Cheng indicated.
Yin Yu took a step back, confused and fearful. In that state, he instinctively sought Quan Yizhen, his gaze desperately searching for understanding in Quan Yizhen’s expression.
“Yizhen, it’s not true, right? You… we… are really married. You just forgot. Deep down, you must know it. We share the same feelings, right?”
Quan Yizhen opened his mouth as if to reassure Yin Yu, but it seemed he couldn’t find the words. Ultimately, he looked down. “I’m sorry, shixiong. I don’t think that happened. We aren’t married.”
Hua Cheng was losing his patience by now. He moved forward. “It’ll be easier if I just break the illusion. You’ll see the truth then.”
He didn’t give Yin Yu time to react. He simply concentrated some of his qi on his fingers and tapped Yin Yu’s forehead. Immediately, Yin Yu fell unconscious.
When Yin Yu woke up, he was back in his room, and his mind was clear. He remembered everything now. It had been as Hua Cheng had said. Yesterday, he had been walking through the ghost market when one of them offered him a potion. It was supposed to be a kind of mind-easing substance, an easy way to forget about your problems for a moment. Yin Yu rarely put down his guard. He knew well how the items sold there could have unusual effects, but regret and guilt weighed even more on a ghost. He had been tired. He had been foolish. He had just wanted a moment of peace.
The drink had tasted sweet. After taking it, Yin Yu had indeed felt lighter, carefree. Every single thing suddenly seemed less important. He had walked around in a daze until he somehow ended up back in his quarters. He could barely keep his eyes open. He had not felt that sleepy since he had been alive. He fell asleep and dreamed vividly.
It was a blissful dream. In the scenario his mind had crafted, he had made better choices. He had learned to forgive and had become a more tolerant person. In the dream, he earnestly tried to mend his relationship with Quan Yizhen. They had eventually fallen in love and decided to share their lives. The person he was in that dream wasn’t afraid of following what his heart dictated. Yin Yu led such a content, fulfilling life there, that he hadn’t wanted it to end. Ghosts’ yearning tends to obsession. After Yin Yu woke up that morning, he had turned the dream into reality.
Yin Yu’s head throbbed with pain. As reality set in, he couldn’t help but laugh at himself. It had been his own doing. He deceived himself into thinking that such an idyllic situation was real. What a fool. What good would living a lie do? Everything gained from it would ultimately be false.
Yet, that potion had made it feel so real. Yin Yu felt he was deeply in love with Quan Yizhen; his body was still tingly with the sentiment. But that couldn’t be. It was just an illusion.
There was movement in the periphery of his eye. Yin Yu turned to realize that Quan Yizhen was sitting beside his bed. As soon as Quan Yizhen noticed he was awake, he jumped from his seat.
“Shixiong!” Quan Yizhen called. “Are you alright?”
Shame rushed across Yin Yu’s face. After acting so embarrassing in front of his shidi, Yin Yu couldn’t look at him directly.
“Yes, I… I’m alright.” Yin Yu cleared his throat.
Quan Yizhen let out a breath. “After Hua Cheng dispelled the illusion, he said you would wake up soon, but you didn’t for more than half a day.” His eyebrows furrowed. “Are you sure you’re alright, shixiong?”
“I’m fine.” Yin Yu sat up. He fixed the hem of his robes. “Don’t worry about me.”
Quan Yizhen accepted his words and sat back. Yin Yu stood up from the bed and walked to his desk, which served as a vanity table too. That morning he had tied his hair in a tall knot that was now messed up. With a tug, he undid it to brush his hair. Quan Yizhen calmly observed him.
Even though Quan Yizhen didn’t say a thing, Yin Yu figured he must be expecting an explanation. Yin Yu knew he should offer one. He just didn’t know where to begin.
Yin Yu put down the brush.
“Yizhen, um…” He closed his eyes, forcing the words through his teeth. “Sorry about today. Please forget everything I said. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“Why are you apologizing? It wasn’t anything bad.”
“I acted wrong.” Just remembering it made Yin Yu want to die again. “I took liberties with you because I thought we… In any case, I made you go through something unpleasant. It was my fault.”
“I didn’t mind it. It surprised me, but I didn’t hate it.” Quan Yizhen looked down at his hands. “You seemed very happy.”
“That was…” Yin Yu gulped down. “The potion stirred my emotions. I was confused.”
Yin Yu pulled his hair back into a loose ponytail. Done with that, he turned around and was startled by Quan Yizhen’s deep, inquisitive stare.
“I don’t think it was fake.” Quan Yizhen said. “Even if it was an illusion, your happiness was not. I haven’t seen you that happy in a long time, shixiong.”
“We didn’t meet for centuries, what do you know?” Yin Yu crossed his arms. “I might have been happier during that time.”
“I don’t think you were. Before that, you hadn’t been happy in heaven, shixiong, and you wanted to be a god more than anything.”
Yin Yu gripped his clothes. He couldn’t refute that.
“I thought you would be happy when you got what you wanted.” Quan Yizhen didn’t mince his words. “But you weren’t.”
“Enough.” Yin Yu didn’t want to remember.
“I couldn’t help you then, but I can now.”
“Oh, can you?”
Quan Yizhen leaned in. “Shixiong, do you want to marry me?”
“Huh?!” Yin Yu’s soul almost flew out of his body. “W-what are you saying?”
“Hua Cheng told me the potion showed you the things you most wanted. You thought we were married. So, you want to—”
“Dreams are just dreams,” Yin Yu interrupted him. “Don’t take it seriously.”
No matter how real the potion made it feel, it wasn’t how he felt about Quan Yizhen.
In retrospect, it was incredibly absurd. Why would Yin Yu want to marry Quan Yizhen? It was true that after he died, they got along again—just a little—and that had made Yin Yu remember that there had been a time in which he had cared for Quan Yizhen more than anyone else. So, having Quan Yizhen by his side might have started to be less unpleasant, but that changed nothing else. The events that had soured their bond would always remain a fact. Yin Yu would always keep some resentment in his heart. He couldn’t trust himself to stay by Quan Yizhen’s side without ugly feelings surging. So, expecting anything to happen between them was preposterous.
That’s why Yin Yu didn’t let himself even consider the idea. It would amount to nothing.
“We could marry,” Quan Yizhen insisted. “If that makes you happy.”
“If it makes me happy?” Yin Yu scoffed. “So then, you would marry me just like that? Even if you don’t want to? Nonsense.”
“But I want to.” Quan Yizhen clenched and unclenched his fists. “When you told me I’d forgotten we were living together, I was angry that I‘d forgotten something so important. Because thinking about living with you made me very happy, shixiong. I believed you when you said I had amnesia, because I wanted that to be real too.”
Yin Yu stilled. His undead heart squeezed at the words, but he couldn’t believe them. It was all too sudden, all too convenient. As if he was still inside a blissful dream.
“Don’t speak thoughtlessly. You’re just saying that because of what I did.” Yin Yu sat down on the bed again, drained of energy. “You don’t truly want to marry me.”
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it.” Quan Yizhen’s expression deflated. “You don’t want to marry me, shixiong?”
“Of course not.”
“You were happy this morning when you thought we were married.”
“So what if I was! It doesn’t mean anything.” Yin Yu put a hand on his forehead. “That dream was a mistake.”
That dream didn’t reflect what Yin Yu wished for. It couldn’t be that. Yin Yu refused to accept it.
“A mistake? But it’s what you want, shixiong. Why is that wrong?”
“Because…” There were so many reasons it was wrong. “I can’t want it,” Yin Yu said.
If he could be sure of something in the mess of thoughts and dreams and illusions, it was that fact. He had no right to want that happiness. He could not ask for that happiness from Quan Yizhen of all people. No matter how much he really wanted to. It had been that thought that had made him repress the bubbling feelings inside him in the first place. It had been that thought that had led him to take the damned potion later.
“Why can’t you want things? If something makes you happy, shouldn’t you try to get it?”
“Not everything one wants can be obtained,” Yin Yu said.
“But this is something you can get, shixiong. It’s an easy choice.”
“Not for me. It can't be that easy.” Yin Yu looked away. “It feels wrong.”
After all, Yin Yu had hurt and cursed Quan Yizhen in the past; had even wished to have never met him. What right had Yin Yu to decide that the person he had blamed for his disgrace was the same person who could grant him solace? He didn't think he had a right to that kind of salvation.
“I don’t think happiness has to be difficult,” Quan Yizhen said.
But Yin Yu knew no other kind of joy. A freely given happiness was too good for someone like him. “I don’t deserve it.”
Quan Yizhen frowned. “Don't deserve it? That's stupid.”
He clenched his fists as if ready to beat whoever told Yin Yu such an atrocity. His shidi was always like that. Ready to defend him even from himself. It made it harder to shut the voice in the back of his mind that encouraged him to speak honestly. That voice wanted Yin Yu to let go of apprehensions and accept the offer from the man he had desired for such a long time. To tell him how he truly felt.
But it was scary. Yin Yu was afraid of the consequences of making that choice. It was easier to convince himself that he held no feelings for the man in front of him than to confront the growing want. It might cost him a chance at happiness, but that way, he could ensure no one would end up more hurt.
“Shixiong, you deserve to be happy.”
Yin Yu sighed. “I’ve learned that happiness isn’t eternal. Sometimes all that’s left after it are the bad parts. Isn’t it pointless?”
Quan Yizhen pondered Yin Yu’s words. “We’ve already gone through pretty bad things,” he said. “Really bad things… but it isn’t so bad now.”
“Yizhen…” Yin Yu’s throat closed up.
“We will handle it. If there are bad times again. I’m sure.”
Yin Yu couldn’t understand Quan Yizhen. After everything that happened, how could he choose Yin Yu without hesitating? How could he have so much faith in themselves?
“You don’t have to go so far for me,” Yin Yu said.
“It’s not only for you. I also want to be happy, shixiong,” Quan Yizhen said. “Sharing my life with you will definitely make me the happiest.”
Quan Yizhen’s bright gaze didn’t let Yin Yu argue back. He knew he couldn’t keep dismissing Quan Yizhen’s honesty, but it was hard to accept those words wholeheartedly. Yin Yu still didn’t trust that it could be that simple. He was not used to getting one good thing without a price.
“Are you sure? That being with me would make you happy? Marriage isn’t a casual matter.”
Quan Yizhen shifted in his place. His gaze wandered to the ceiling.
“Well, I’ve never considered marrying you, shixiong.”
Yin Yu bit his lip. Of course, Quan Yizhen had never seen him in that light. It wasn’t unexpected, and yet, still felt like a knife to Yin Yu’s heart.
“I didn’t know it was an option,” Quan Yizhen continued. “But when you found me today at the market and held my hand,” Quan Yizhen clenched and unclenched his hand. “My heart jumped. I thought that I’d like it if you held my hand like that all the time.”
“That doesn’t mean we have to—”
“Now that I know it’s an option, I want it.” Quan Yizhen shifted once more. “If it’s with you, shixiong, I want it.”
He truly means it, Yin Yu thought. Quan Yizhen was open to the possibility of a future together; no matter past slights, no matter haunting risks. No matter if Yin Yu himself wasn’t convinced of it. Quan Yizhen had enough conviction for them both. Yin Yu only had to trust him.
Despite his misgivings, Yin Yu wanted to hold on to that sliver of hope. To believe that a joint future with Quan Yizhen was possible. He just needed the courage to take a step forward.
Yin Yu set his eyes on Quan Yizhen’s restless hand. His head was swimming with anxiety, but his movement was resolute. He reached out to take Quan Yizhen’s hand in his own cold one.
“So... what do you feel now?” Yin Yu asked with a trembling voice.
Quan Yizhen looked at their grasped hands and then glanced up at the expecting Yin Yu. Slowly, his surprised expression dissolved into a warm smile.
“My heart is beating like crazy, shixiong.”
Yin Yu could feel the rapid pulse in Quan Yizhen’s wrist. He could see his cheeks turn a lovely shade of red. With that, something in Yin Yu unwound.
“I might grant your wish and never let go of you,” Yin Yu said.
He had wanted so many times to hold Quan Yizhen’s hand like this. So, being finally allowed—allowing himself—to do so, he wasn’t letting go soon.
“That’s fine.” Quan Yizhen didn’t try to retract his hand either. On the contrary, he squeezed Yin Yu’s hand. His smile widened. “So you accept? You will marry me, shixiong?”
Yin Yu shook his head. “No. I think it’s better to take one step at a time. We can talk about that later, if you still think that it would make you happy.”
“Fine.” Quan Yizhen pursed his mouth, but didn’t complain. “Then, shixiong, what else happened in the dream you had?”
“W-why should I tell you?” The topic still embarrassed him.
“I want to know what else makes you happy. We can try to make it all true.”
Yin Yu felt his chest tighten. He really didn’t understand how he could deserve to have someone that cared for him like Quan Yizhen did. Yin Yu thought it was unfair, but he wasn’t as good a person as to let him go. He could only try to make it fair by giving Quan Yizhen all the love he had.
“I’ll tell you, but only if you tell me what makes you happy too,” Yin Yu requested.
Quan Yizhen nodded. “I bet we’ll have a lot of things in common, shixiong.”
Yin Yu couldn’t help the smile spreading across his face. “I’d be glad if that was the case.”
Yin Yu wasn’t hoping for his future to look like the dream he lost himself in. That was just not realistic. Yet, if it turned out to be a tiny part like how Quan Yizhen’s warm hand felt in his at the moment, he thought it might be all he needed to feel happy, and accept that happiness as something he deserved.
As uncertain as that future still looked, for now, as the conversation stretched through the evening, Yin Yu never let go of Quan Yizhen’s hand.