Archive of Our Own

"I think," Monty says, with all due gravity over lunch, three days after he leaves the hospital, "I have to tell Jasper the truth."

"Okay," says Nate, with pretty much no gravity. "About what?"

"Us. How we met."

“Okay,” he says again, in the exact same tone and with just as little gravity.

Monty counts to five to make sure no further questions are coming and then demands, “Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I can give away your secret? Just like that?”

“It's not exactly a secret.”

Monty stares at him, but Nate doesn't blink or laugh or anything. “Then why aren't we telling everyone how we met?”

“It's more trouble than it's worth. No one would believe it anyway.” He pauses. “Actually, this might be the only way they would believe. You want to tell your parents?”

Nothing about this conversation is going how Monty expected it to. “Why would I tell my parents?”

“You want to tell Jasper.”

“That's because Jasper knew I was single before I got in the coma! My parents already believe how we met but Jasper isn't going to buy my fake story.”

“This was your idea, why are you mad?” Nate asks mildly.

“I didn't think you'd be so chill!”

As soon as he says it, Monty hears how ridiculous it is. He'd been ready to have to convince Nate and Nate took the wind out of his sails, but none of this is a bad thing. He wanted Nate to agree, and he does. And Nate is one of the most chill people he's ever met. He doesn't tend to do big emotional reactions.

“Sorry,” he says, slumping.

“It’s cool,” says Nate. “Do you need to tell me your arguments? Will that help?”

“I just thought it was this big secret, I guess. You didn’t tell that Bellamy guy.”

“I did. You were there when I did.”

“Yeah, but you knew him for years first.”

Nate sighs. “It sounds fake, right? Like if I told you I kissed ghosts and you weren’t in a weird coma–”

It’s an interesting question, actually. In the abstract, if someone told Monty that they could see ghosts, Monty thinks he wouldn’t believe them. But that’s someone, this theoretical person who comes up to Monty on the street or has a Youtube channel or whatever. On the rare occasions when Monty imagines a scenario where someone tells him they can see ghosts or they’re a wizard or they have superpowers, it’s always been the sole datapoint he knows about them.

But what if his mom told him that? Or Harper or Jasper? If he’d met Nate in class, and Nate said, “by the way, I can see ghosts,” he wouldn’t think Nate was lying. He might think he was having some sort of mental health episode, but he would believe that Nate thought he was telling the truth. That it was real.

“If you told me,” Monty says, “I’d believe you. Even if Jasper did, and Jasper’s way more likely to make shit up for attention. Honestly, I’m kind of surprised he didn’t tell me he had a ghost girlfriend in high school. That’s like the nerdier version of a girlfriend who lives in Canada.”

Nate snorts. “I can’t prove it, though. You’d probably think I was losing it if you didn’t see it yourself.”

“Bellamy didn’t think that.”

“He had a few years of weird but good leads.”

“I’m not saying we should tell everyone or anything. Just–I never really thought about it. It’s a pop culture thing, I think? Superheroes never tell anyone.”

“Except Iron Man.”

“You know what I mean. It’s always like, there’s this secret world that no one can talk about. And even as a kid I was like, the only reason they do this is because they want us to think maybe our world is magical, but if there really was real magic, someone would know. It would have made the news. But maybe some of those ghost hunters really can see ghosts and they just can’t prove it, like you can’t.”

“Eh, I've watched a few of those shows,” Nate says. “I never saw any ghosts. But maybe there used to be, and someone already kissed them or whatever other people do to help them move on. The ghosts are gone, but people still tell stories.”

“Is it weird that I’d like that better? I hope most of the ghosts are gone by now and resting, not hanging around.”

“I guess you’d know which sounds better.”

“That’s even weirder. Remembering I was kind of a ghost.”

Nate nods. “So you should definitely tell Jasper. Probably good to have someone else to talk to about it.”

“Probably. He’s going to have like a billion questions for you.”

“That’s cool. Honestly, it’s kind of nice for me,” he says, looking away with a small, embarrassed smile. “Having it out in the open. Bellamy keeps texting me Ghost Whisperer gifs. It’s a relief to just talk about it.”

“Jasper will make you eat those words.”

Nate grins. “Bring it on.”

*

“So, I have a boyfriend,” Monty tells Jasper that night.

“Huh, congrats,” says Jasper, but he’s frowning a little. “A boyfriend? Like, a serious one? Not just some guy you’ve gone on a couple dates with?”

“Serious boyfriend.”

“Since when?”

“I met him when I was in my coma.”

Jasper’s mouth opens and then closes again. “Before your coma,” he says.

“No, during.”

“Did you have, like, a vision? Do you think you’re dating Michael B. Jordan because you had a dream about him?”

Honestly, it’s not the worst guess. “His name is Nate, he can see ghosts. That’s how we met.”

“Monty.”

“Jasper.”

Jasper rubs his mouth. “You can just tell me the truth.”

“I am.”

“Okay but you’re not. Because what you’re saying is crazy. Like, seriously. Do you hear yourself?”

“I do. So why would I try to lie about it?”

As expected, Jasper has to think about it. Monty lets him, taking notes for the paper he’s working on and waiting for Jasper to finish turning things over in his head.

“Is this a birthday present?” he finally asks.

It’s Monty’s turn to pause. “What?”

“You asked why you’d lie, and I think it would be a whole giant prank. Loving gaslighting or whatever. And it’s my birthday in two months so maybe that would be the culmination, this giant, ghost-hunting themed birthday party where you reveal the whole thing was a gag.”

“Dude, I love you, but I don’t love you enough for that. That sounds like so much work.”

“It was the best explanation I could come up with!”

“Other than me telling the truth.”

“No, I think long-con birthday gaslighting is a better explanation.” He fixes his gaze on Monty. “You’re serious.”

“I’m serious.”

“You were a ghost?”

“Yeah. I remember it, which is kind of the weirdest part? I was just wandering around, walking through walls and drifting in a weird haze. I didn’t even know my name until Nate kissed me.”

“Wait, he kissed you?”

“Yeah. It was kind of an accident? But it's also kind of his thing. Also by accident.”

Jasper rubs his temples. “You know this isn't explaining anything, right? I feel like I'm getting farther away from understanding.”

“I don’t know how to explain it better! He’s got a friend at the newspaper who believes him because he has, like, tips on missing persons.”

“That just sounds like a serial killer. You’re dating a serial killer.”

“Except I met him in a coma.”

“Can you prove it?”

“You mean other than the fact that I have a boyfriend now and I didn’t when I went into the coma?”

“Maybe you met him first,” Jasper hedges, like Monty hasn’t told him about every date he’s been on since eighth grade, when he thought Jenna Wu was asking him out when she just wanted to be partners on a research project.

“And then I decided to make it into a giant birthday prank?”

Jasper sighs deeply. “Okay, yeah. That’s actually getting less and less plausible. But seriously! Not only do you get a boyfriend, but he can see ghosts? I deserve someone who can see ghosts!”

“That’s about how fast I thought we’d move onto jealousy,” says Monty, only half joking. Jasper’s jealousy is inevitable but familiar; Monty isn’t better at dating than Jasper is, but he’s better at relationships. Jasper has a throw-everything-at-the-wall approach to dating that works well for getting to dinner and a movie but rarely moves beyond there.

Monty has tried to explain this, but there’s only so long he can talk to a black hole of bad dating takes. Jasper’s not an incel, and that’s a win.

“Can he show you the ghosts? Like if he tells us where they are, will we be able to squint?”

“We haven’t tried it yet. I’m wondering if I’ll be able to see them because I kind of was one? Maybe the veil will be thinner around me or something.”

“Okay, well, we have a lot of tests to do.”

It’s like flipping a coin, deciding which word to question. “We?”

“You told me your boyfriend can see ghosts. Were you not expecting me to be involved?”

“Involved in what?” asks Monty, but he’s smiling.

“I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”

*

“Do ghosts show up on film?”

Nate is looking at Jasper with a kind of baffled amusement, which is about what Monty expected. “Like real film? Not digital?”

“Any picture. Like, do you ever take selfies with them?”

“Selfies with the ghosts? Why would I do that?”

Jasper throws up his hands. “See, this is the problem! The people who have these cool powers never do the right stuff with them. Where’s your sense of scientific inquiry?”

“How many people do you know with cool powers?” Monty asks. 

Jasper waves a dismissive hand. “In fiction. Everyone’s always like, with great power comes great responsibility. I feel like only Spider-Man has his whole, let me test and see how this works. Scientific inquiry.”

“I don’t think that’s right,” says Monty.

“I was like five,” Nate points out. “I didn’t have a phone. But it’s a good question, actually.”

He has that expression again, the spark Monty saw when he realized he could talk to Jasper about this. The small wonder that he’s not alone anymore. 

So Monty should get into this too. Jasper’s not the only one who can have questions. 

“You said you never saw ghosts on ghost-hunter shows, right? But if they don’t show up on camera, you wouldn’t know. So that should definitely be our first thing: ghost selfie.”

Nate’s little smile turns on him. “You think?”

“If we can’t see ghosts on film, maybe there are some other legitimate ghost hunters out there, you know? Maybe you could make some friends.”

“I have friends.”

From what Monty has seen, Nate has friend, Bellamy, and some other people he interacts with sometimes. Monty doesn’t judge, really; he’s got Jasper, some exes he’s on good terms with, stuff like that. It’s not like he has a large and thriving friend group.

Maybe ghosts shouldn’t be the thing that gets him closer to one, but they already got him a boyfriend so he might as well see how far the whole thing can go.

“Yeah, but friends who get it.”

“Have you checked if you can see ghosts eyt?” Jasper asks Monty. “If you woke up with magic coma powers I’m going to be so pissed.”

“This jealousy is so unbecoming,” says Monty. “Just accept you’re the normie in the group. But no, we haven’t gotten to try it out yet. Nate hasn’t seen any ghosts since I woke up.”

“Hmm, convenient,” says Jasper, narrowing his eyes at Nate. “Almost like you’re lying.”

“About being able to talk to Monty when he was in his coma?” Nate asks. “He remembers that too.”

“It would be harder for him to implant false memories into my brain than to see ghosts.”

“That’s what he wants you to think.” Jasper turns his attention back to Nate. “How do you usually find ghosts?”

Nate shrugs. “Just run into them. Honestly, they find me most of the time.”

Jasper sighs in a deeply long suffering way. “God, you're so bad at this. Lucky for you, you have us now.”

“Us?” Monty asks, but Nate is smiling a little.

“Yeah, lucky me.”

*

As it turns out, Monty can't see ghosts. Or at least, he can't see ghosts consistently. He and Nate run into one–without Jasper, much to Jasper’s annoyance–and Monty spends most of the encounter craning his head at different angles, trying to catch glimpses. Every now and then, he sees something: not quite a person, but a shimmering. By the time Nate is wrapping up, Monty has a decent idea of what he thinks the ghost looks like so he can ask Nate if he saw it or if he just wanted to see something so hard he hallucinated.

“Oh, don't forget to get a video too!” he tells Nate.

“Video?”

“Just to see what it looks like.”

Nate glances back at the spirit. “Can I take a video?”

“I think once they're dead you don't need consent. Legally speaking.”

“Don't want to piss off a ghost,” he shoots back. 

The ghost must be okay with it, though, because Nate pulls out his phone and gets some video, and then he says a few more things, reaches out his hand like he’s sealing an invisible deal, and Monty–

Doesn't feel anything. But he figures the ghost is gone.

“So, red shirt, brown hair? Middle-aged white woman?” he asks as Nate checks his phone.

Nate actually jumps. “Wait, you could see her?”

Monty’s whole body thrums. “Not always! But sometimes, I guess? Like when I tilted my head right. I thought maybe I was making it up, but that's what she looked like?”

“Yeah.”

His voice is a little off. It's hard to tell what that means with Nate; he's on the quiet side, not terribly expressive even when he's not feeling big feelings. Monty hasn't fully learned how to read him yet.

“Is that okay?” he hazards.

“It's amazing. I've never actually had anyone else see anything before. Not that anyone knew, but…”

But it would have to be weird, being the only one. Like when Monty was the only Asian kid in his grade at elementary school, except even more so, because even then he knew about his parents and kids in other grades. He knew about the whole continent of Asia, too, even if it felt far away from small-town Connecticut. For all Nate knows, he's the only one in the entire world with powers like this.

“Maybe I'll get better,” Monty says. “I'll work on it. Can you see anything in the video?”

“Nah. That's what I was looking at.” He holds up the phone so Monty can see the dark, grainy footage of an empty street. “I sorta know where he’s supposed to be, but I can't see anything.”

“Okay, but this is good news!” 

“Why?”

“Because all those ghost hunters on TV or Youtube–maybe they actually can see ghosts. You wouldn't see them on film, right?”

“I'm pretty sure they're still bullshit, Monty. Have you seen them? They use all these weird gadgets. You don't need any of that.”

Monty gives this all due consideration. “Well, have you ever tried any?”

*

“Welcome to Yet Another Ghost Hunting Show!” Monty says, doing his best to not look as uncomfortable as he feels as he addresses Jasper’s phone.

Their first attempt at filming had involved Nate on his own, but Monty kept having to prompt and coax him to actually talk, and Jasper pointed out that most successful shows have a conversation component anyway, so Monty might as well be in front of the camera too. 

(Monty had been the one to put his foot down on buying all the filming equipment Jasper wanted. They already spent more than anyone wanted on gadgets; they can wait on other stuff until they know if they're going to get a revenue stream off of this.)

“I'm Monty, and I can't see ghosts.”

“I'm Nate, and I can.”

They'd gone back and forth on that part, but at the end of the day, it's really the only hook they have. The three of them watched a lot of amateur ghost hunters on Youtube, both as a group and on their own, and while most of them have some sort of paranormal experience, it's never more than a pretty minor unexplained phenomenon. At most, someone says a dead relative spoke to them or visited them in a dream. Nate is their only credential.

Besides, as Jasper pointed out, if they're reviewing ghost-hunting gadgets to see if they work, they have to admit they can see ghosts without them. 

“How long have you been able to see ghosts?”

“I saw the first one when I was five. Or maybe before? The first time I knew I was seeing a ghost, I was five.”

Monty nods, like this is new information for him and not just for their hypothetical audience. “And did you hunt her?”

Nate snorts. “I was five. Her unfinished business was her first kiss, so I gave her a kiss and she moved on. That's most of what it is. Just helping people figure out how to get where they're going.”

“Can your parents see ghosts?”

“If they can, they never told me. And I figure they would have been on alert. Like, if I ever have kids, I'm definitely going to be keeping an eye out to see if they can see ghosts too.”

“Yeah, you're going to a graveyard like day one,” says Jasper.

“That's Jasper, our cameraman who also can't see ghosts.”

“Tell them how you met.”

“I was in a coma,” says Monty, “and my spirit was wandering the earth.”

“No matter how many times you say this it never stops sounding made up,” Jasper observes.

“The coma part is true. You can google Monty Green coma and find articles about it.”

“Which doesn't prove anything except that you're willing to exploit your own real-life condition.”

“Whose side are you on?” asks Nate.

“I'm the audience surrogate,” says Jasper. “I'm anticipating the questions and comments we're going to get.”

Nate shrugs. “They can believe me or not. If they don't, the channel won't do very well.”

“But I was in a coma and that really was how we met. And it's part of why I believe him.”

“I still think they might be pranking me somehow,” says Jasper. “But I can confirm Monty didn't have a boyfriend before the coma and he did after.”

“So we don't need fancy gadgets or anything to find ghosts!” Monty says, clapping his hands. “Nate can find them for us. And when we find them, we're going to see if any of this stuff actually works.”

“I'm pretty sure it doesn't,” Nate says. “But it'll be cool to see how it doesn't work.”

“The first thing we got was this EMF reader, because it was cheap and Amazon would deliver it next day.”

“Fuck Amazon,” adds Nate, “but we don't have a lot of budget for this.”

“Obviously, this could just be a bad EMF reader too,” Monty acknowledges, with a nod to the camera. “But, again, we’re starting small. I'm not going to spend thousands of dollars on a Youtube channel that might not go anywhere. Even if I had thousands of dollars to spend.”

“Yeah, pooling our resources we still don't have a lot of resources,” says Jasper. “So like and subscribe! Let us know in the comments that we should spend all our meager savings on this. Otherwise we'll just stop.”

“And if you think you're haunted and you're within like two hours of Boston, email us and we can come look. No charge.”

“We should charge,” says Nate. “We could use the money on more ghost-hunting shit.”

“Rates negotiable!” Monty amends. “And actually definitely pay for our gas? That's just polite.”

Jasper nods, but manages to not shake the camera. “Maybe a few snacks.”

“Okay, that's all the intros out of the way, so, Nate: where are we going?”

Their first few episodes all have the same basic formula. They do their spiel, Nate explains how he picked the site they're going to, and then they go there. At this point in his life, Nate is pretty good at predicting where ghosts will be, so they find at least one every time. Nate chats with the ghost while Monty and Jasper test out whatever thing they brought, and then Monty tries to explain how he can sort of see the ghosts sometimes. Nate tells the camera why the ghost is still around, helps with the last request, and they call it a day.

It's a fun show, Monty thinks. It's just that he's not sure it's what people who like ghost shows actually want. Nothing they've bought so far has worked, which means three out of three EMF readers are useless at detecting real ghosts. Ghosts might be real and you can use these things to maybe find them is a cool message; ghosts are definitely real but you can't see them because you're not special is something of a bummer.

But they get views. They get likes and subscribes. Nate gets people asking him to come to their houses, not just in the Boston area, but all over the country and even in other countries.

It's kind of a lot.

“I didn't think I could just say it and people would believe it,” Nate says. He's flopped on his back on Monty’s bed as Monty reads comments aloud to him.

“If it helps, you probably picked the audience most likely to believe you. You don't look for ghost-hunting shows on Youtube unless you're kind of a believer, right?”

“Or you want to debunk.”

“Why are you worried about that? You can see ghosts. There's nothing to debunk.”

“There's nothing to bunk, either. I can't prove shit.”

Monty sits down on the bed next to Nate and gives his back a tentative rub. “Honestly, I'm having trouble reading the mood here.”

Nate rolls over, rubs his face with a groan. “I don't even know. It's one thing for you to believe it, and even Bellamy and Jasper. But all these internet people…”

“Not all the internet people believe it. At least a third of the comments we get are fake. And gay. They're usually together.”

“One of those is accurate. For me, anyway.”

“If it helps, they might not really believe. They might just think we’re fun. And different from other shows.”

“We're going to try to unhaunt someone’s house tomorrow.”

Which could be the root of the problem, but Monty can admit that this would all be pretty weird. Nate's had a lot of upheaval since Monty’s coma, and even if (at least in Monty’s opinion) it's good, change is change. It's a lot.

“If I thought I was haunted, I'd be doing whatever I could to try to get unhaunted,” Monty points out. “It doesn't mean they totally believe you, it just means they're local and curious.”

“I could've been doing this without you,” Nate says, a little sulkily.

“You couldn't. You are not good on camera solo.”

“I could've done something.”

“You did. You've been finding ghosts all this time. You had your best friend worried you might be a serial killer. If that's not doing something, I don't know what is.”

Nate’s mouth twitches. “Bellamy likes the channel. He says you bring out the best in me.”

“I try.”

“I guess that's the other thing.”

Monty is not jealous in a very deliberate, kind of jealous way. “Bellamy?”

“Not him, really. But people seeing it. His sister found it on her own and texted him about it.”

Of course they'd talked about this, but it hadn't really felt real. The idea that their videos would reach their friends or relatives had seemed almost presumptuous. There was no way they'd get that successful.

But Monty also doesn't totally get how the Youtube algorithm works. Apparently Bellamy’s sister already found them, despite their middling popularity.

“What did she say?” Monty asks, as if that's the important question.

“She asked if I was drugged. Then she said you were cute and it seemed like we were really good together. Nothing bad, but…”

“Yeah. If she saw it, anyone could see it.”

“I should tell my parents.”

Monty’s most comparable experience is probably coming out, which he mostly struggled with because it was so abstract. He figured out he was bi before he'd ever dated anyone, and it wasn't at all pressing to tell his parents that he was failing to find relationships with more genders than they realized. When he'd told them, he was still single and hadn't ever dated a guy, and he just sort of slipped it into the conversation. They took it fine, as he'd been pretty sure they would, but there had still been the slight hurt, the two of them wondering why he hadn't told them sooner, even if they didn't say it in so many words.

“You should do what you want. If someone tells them, they'll probably think it's a joke.”

As soon as the words are out, he knows they're wrong; Nate makes a face that confirms it.

“That's not any better.”

“Yeah, I know.”

He sits up, looking at his phone. “I'm gonna call them,” he tells Monty.

“Now?”

“It's not gonna get any better.”

“I guess not. I can–” He gestures to the door, but Nate shakes his head.

“It'd be nice if you stayed. Unless you don't want to.”

“I can stay.”

“Cool. I'm just gonna put it on speaker. You don't need to say anything, but that way I don't have to tell you what happened.”

It should be weird. Hell, it is weird, objectively. Monty is sitting with his boyfriend of only a few months while he calls his parents so he can tell them he sees ghosts. Of course it's weird.

But Monty doesn't feel weird about it. He's serious about Nate in a way that should be overwhelming and disconcerting, and maybe even worrying. Under ordinary circumstances, he'd be terrified that he was moving too fast or that Nate wasn't as invested as he was. Being on the phone for a serious conversation with parents is a lot.

But the circumstances are so extraordinary that it's easy, somehow. Of course they're serious. Monty came out of a coma for this. Nate got him out. That's some fucking true love shit.

“Hey, Nate!” says a male voice.

Monty hasn't met or spoken to Nate’s parents, but he knows that they know about him. He and Nate figured out their stories together.

And now they're getting rid of them.

“Hey, Dad. Is Mom there?”

“She is, I have you on speaker. Is everything okay?”

Nate exhales, and Monty laces their fingers together. “I have something really weird to tell you, and I need you to hear me out.”

“Of course,” says his mom. “Honey, are you–”

“I can see ghosts,” says Nate, all in one breath. “I've been able to for years.”

There's a long pause; Monty bites his lip so he won't try to fill it.

“You know me,” Nate adds. He already sounds tired “You know I wouldn't just lie about this.”

“Of course not,” his dad rushes to say. “We don't think you're lying.”

The but hangs in the air, unsaid but heavy. Nate doesn't have to be lying. He could be delusional. Sick. Having a psychotic break.

“Remember that girl who disappeared when I was in seventh grade?” Nate asks, before anyone voices those possibilities. “Amy Winters? Everyone on the force was looking for her and I told you that I heard college kids went to the woods to hook up sometimes and maybe you should look there.”

“I remember,” says Nate’s dad, a little hoarsely.

“She told me where her boyfriend killed her.”

Nate hadn't told Monty the exact specifics, but he'd mentioned the girl in passing, one of the ghosts who needed his help. Nate hadn't kissed her, but she'd kissed him, just a peck on the cheek and then she moved on to whatever it is that comes next.

“Is there a reason you're telling us this now?” Nate's mom asks, in the cautious tones of someone who still hasn't ruled out a psychotic break. “Did something happen?”

Nate glances at him. “Monty happened. He, uh–I lied about how I met him. I met him when he was in the coma. He was basically a ghost.”

“In the coma,” his mom repeats.

Monty raises his eyebrows and Nate nods, pushing the phone towards him.

“Um, hi. It's Monty? He's telling the truth. I was in this kind of daze, floating around without knowing who I was or what was happening, and then I saw Nate and he was in focus. He could talk to me and he figured out who I was. When I woke up, I remembered everything. Including that I wanted to date him.”

The silence doesn't exactly feel worse now that he's involved in the conversation, just a new and equally bad kind of bad. At least this time, he's the one who caused it. Probably a nice change of pace for Nate.

Nate's the one to break this silence, too. “I never knew how to tell anyone. Once Monty knew, he told his best friend, and my friend Bellamy from college figured it out, and now it's not really a secret. Monty’s best friend has us doing a Youtube show about it. And I felt weird doing all that when you two didn't know.”

“This is a lot to process, Nate,” says his dad.

“I know. You don't have to be cool with it right away. But I promise I'm not lying.”

“My aunt,” Nate's mom says, her voice coming out slow and almost cautious. “Your grandmother’s sister. She used to tell us she could see ghosts. I thought she just wanted to scare her nieces and nephews–she didn't have kids of her own, so she was the fun aunt. I told my mom and she just rolled her eyes. Said Aunt Mira had been joking about that since they were kids.”

Monty can see Nate's throat bob as he swallows. “I didn't know.”

“She died before you were born. It was always such a joke, I never even thought about it. Just her sense of humor. Nothing real.”

“I always wondered if it was a family thing.”

“Maybe it is.” She clears her throat. “Thank you for telling us. I know it must have been hard.”

“Should have just joked around like Great Aunt Mira, I guess,” Nate says, his voice thick.

“That's kind of what we're doing with the Youtube thing, isn't it?” Monty asks. Even if it feels like he's not supposed to be here, he is, and everyone knows it. He might as well contribute. “We're telling everyone the truth and not expecting them to believe us.”

“Do they?” Nate's dad asks. “Are a lot of people watching and thinking you're the real deal?”

“We're going to our first haunted house tomorrow,” says Nate, smiling at Monty. “So I guess we'll find out.”

*

It's actually hard to tell if people believe them, which Monty wasn't expecting. The first three houses they visit aren't haunted, but Monty’s also not sure the residents think they are. Mostly, it feels like they're trying to test Nate, which isn't very effective when there aren't any ghosts i the first place. The second guy actually admits outright that he made the whole thing up, assuming Nate would just go along with it.

It's not much of a plan, but it's the best anyone can do without an actual ghost they know about.

Which is what the fourth person has.

Raven Reyes gets in touch after their seventh episode, which they filmed at a supposedly haunted abandoned barn that just had a bobcat living in the loft that wanted to eat Jasper’s leg. It's one of their better episodes, if Monty does say so himself, but he didn't think it was very convincing. Still, it's the one that prompts Raven to DM: if Nate can give me a description of the ghost that's haunting me I'll buy you guys a six pack and pay for gas.

“Good deal,” says Nate, when Monty shows him. “Where are we going?”

Raven is in Salem, which Jasper considers proof positive that she's just another person fucking with them. He and Monty spend about half the ride there bickering about whether there are ghosts in Salem (there must be, right?) and if people move to Salem just because they think ghosts are cool (probably some of them do) before Nate tells them he's going to drive into a ditch.

It's not what Monty imagined having a serious boyfriend would be like; it's better.

They're meeting Raven at a coffee shop, and Monty sees her first, gorgeous and severe, leaning on a cane as she scans the street for them. And then he sees it, just a flicker out of the corner of his eye, just a second of–

“Holy shit, she's actually haunted,” says Nate.

“White guy, right? Brown hair, early twenties?”

“This is so unfair,” Jasper mutters.

Nate ignores him. “I guess there's at least one ghost in Salem.”

Raven pushes off the wall of the building and walks over to them, her face stony.

“So, you're the ghost guys, huh?”

“Yeah. Is he your ex-boyfriend?” Nate asks, jerking his chin over Raven's right shoulder.

“Gonna need more than that, Haley Joel.”

“White guy, floppy brown hair, early twenties. Black jacket, gray shirt, jeans. Looks kind of pissed at me.”

Raven’s shoulders slump and the fight goes out of her like she got unplugged. She's probably about Monty’s age, but all at once she looks years older.

“I thought maybe I was just hallucinating. Like I could see him but he wasn't really there.”

“You can't see other ghosts?” Monty asks.

“I can't even see him all the time. Mirrors are the easiest, I can see him behind me. I thought I was losing my mind for a while. But the more I looked, the more I could see him.”

“That wouldn't convince me I wasn't hallucinating,” Jasper puts in, and Monty elbows him. “I'm just saying!”

“Did you know him?” Nate asks. “Before he died.”

“Yeah. Finn. He was my best friend.”

Jasper stiffens next to Monty, and Monty feels himself doing the same. He and Jasper probably would haunt each other, if they could. It would beat being apart.

“When did he die?” Nate asks, his voice pretty gentle, for him.

“About three years ago.”

“And he's been haunting you ever since?”

“Yeah. I told him to.”

“Does that work?” Jasper asks. “Can you request hauntings?”

Raven shrugs. “Guess so. Since he is.”

Nate is watching the space where Monty can occasionally see flickers of Finn behind Raven’s shoulders. “Does he ever talk to you?”

“No. He was, uh.” She clears her throat, her bravado flickering for a second. “It was a car accident. A lot of the damage was to his neck. So I figured maybe he couldn’t. Or maybe I just can’t hear him, I don’t know. You’re the expert here, right?”

“I guess if anyone’s an expert, I am. But this is new for me.”

She cocks her head, studying Nate with an expression Monty can’t parse. “Which part?”

“Honestly, the closest I’ve ever gotten to seeing a ghost haunting a specific person is Monty following me around. And it’s not like I knew him before, he just kind of imprinted on me.”

“That’s such a nice way to say I thought you were hot.”

“You were in a coma, right?” Raven asks. “I haven’t watched all your videos, but I remember that seemed like, I dunno. I guess you could have just been using your real coma for Youtube clout, but it seemed like a stupid lie. Like, less convincing than just not adding in the whole coma ghost part. You didn’t need it for the channel and it was so weird.”

“Thanks,” says Nate dryly. “It was pretty important for us.”

“I’m just saying, if I was making shit up I wouldn’t add that. The whole I can see ghosts and I won’t explain myself thing is a good hook, you don’t need to add weird complications like people in comas are ghosts too.”

“Might not be all people in comas. Monty could be special.”

“Obviously I’m special. Did you have a point about Finn not talking?” he adds to Nate. He’s used to getting conversations back on track, but usually it’s for Jasper.

“Just curious. I’ve never met a ghost who doesn’t talk before. Maybe I’ve never met one who lost their voice before they died, but I dunno. It’s not like horror movies where you see the head dangling off the body. Even ghosts who have bad deaths just look like normal people. I have to figure out how they died.”

“You think there’s something wrong with him?” Raven demands.

“I mean, he’s dead,” says Jasper. “So, like…”

Monty elbows him. “Dude. Not helping.”

“What could be wrong with a ghost?” Jasper asks, unashamed. “Oh, he’s alive? That would be good news. He’s extra dead? Not a thing. So what could be wrong?”

Probably rightly, Nate ignores him. “I’ve never helped anyone move on without talking to them.”

Raven’s head snaps around. “Who said anything about him moving on?”

“You don’t want him to?” Monty asks.

“Of course not. I told him to haunt me, remember? I like having him around. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t have a brain tumor or something. Now I know he’s real, I’m all set. We’re good.”

On some level, Monty does get it. It’s so easy to imagine with Jasper. But at the same time, it’s, well. Creepy.

For once, Jasper sticks his foot in his mouth for the greater good. “Don’t you have sex?”

“What?”

“Don’t get me wrong, if Monty died I’d totally want him to haunt me, but is he always there? Does he watch you shower? Do you have like a boyfriend or a girlfriend who doesn’t know? Or does know? How does that even work?”

Raven is glaring, but Jasper is pretty much immune to glaring by this point in his life. “That's your question?” she asks.

“It's more than one question,” says Monty. “And I'm kind of curious too. Do you put a sock on the door and tell your partner that it's just a weird habit of yours?”

“I'm not really looking to date right now. Not that it's any of your business.”

“You called us and introduced us to your mute ghost ex,” Jasper points out. “So it kind of is?”

“I've never just let a ghost stick around,” Nate adds. “I don't think it's good for them.”

Raven is glaring. “Like he said, they're already dead. What’s it going to do to him, kill him again?”

A headache is twinging at Monty’s temples, but he's not going to let that stop him. “Ghosts can be mean. The ones who don't move on–there's a reason Nate helps them to the other side. It gets worse.”

“Finn’s not bad.”

“He's non-verbal,” Nate counters. “And all he does is stare straight ahead.”

“I'm really sorry for whatever happened,” Monty continues. “We all are. But that doesn't–”

“It was my fault!” Raven snaps. “I got him killed, I'm the reason he doesn't get to live his life, the least I can do is let him see mine.”

There's another pause, and when Jasper doesn't ask the awkward question fast enough, Monty takes over. “Were you driving?”

“No.” She heaves a sigh, rubs her face. “Do you trust me not to murder you?”

“Less than I did before you said you killed your friend,” says Jasper.

Monty scowls at him. “She said she got him killed, not that she killed him. There's a difference.”

“Yeah but is it enough of a difference?”

“Look, will you come over to my place or not? I'm sick of talking outside and I don't really want to do this in a coffee shop.”

The three of them exchange a look; Nate is the one to nod to Raven. She doesn't live far, just a few blocks away, so they leave the car in the lot and walk. Except for Finn, another weird thing about him. Every time Monty sees him, he’s perfectly still, just a statue who floats along behind Raven, like he thinks this is what being a good ghost looks like.

If he'd never seen a ghost before, it wouldn't bother him. Raven has nothing to compare this to. But Monty is freaked and Nate looks ready to jump out of his skin.

They probably need to get used to stuff like this, if they want to keep doing house calls.

There are a few pictures of Finn in Raven’s apartment, normal teenager shots with the two of them grinning. Exactly what he'd expect from two best friends who thought they had their whole lives ahead of them.

“Want anything to drink or anything?” Raven asks. “I guess we could have picked up coffee first.”

“I'm still worried you're planning on murdering us to add to your army of ghosts,” says Jasper.

“The only ghost I've got right now is my best friend. Why would I want to add three random dudes?”

“You keep saying things that aren't I’m not going to murder you,” Jasper points out.

Raven shrugs. “I try not to make promises I can't keep. Wasn't going to murder Finn, either.”

“You didn't,” says Nate, with a certainty Monty wasn't expecting. Not that he thinks she murdered Finn either, but they still don't know the whole story.

Raven doesn't reply, just grabs four hard ciders from the fridge. “They're not open, I couldn't have poisoned them,” she tells Jasper, and he raises the bottle she hands him in a salute.

“So,” Monty prompts, once they're all sitting, “what happened?”

Raven’s fingers dance on the neck of her bottle. “I won't tell you my whole life story, but Finn was the best thing that ever happened to me. My dad was never around, my mom never wanted to be around. Finn and his mom and little brother moved in when I was eight and things got better, you know? They had me over for dinner, they liked having me there.” She shrugs, but her face is torn open.

Finn’s, when Monty can see it, is as blank as ever.

“I kind of always had a crush on him, but I told myself it was just because he was the first person who was actually nice to me. I didn't really think anything would happen, even if everyone else always did. It's the story, you know? People always think childhood best friends are going to end up married.”

“Yeah,” says Monty, when it becomes clear she won't go on until one of them responds.

“He asked me out junior year of high school and I couldn't believe it. It was great. We dated for like two years, and then college. I was going to MIT, he was going to Buffalo State, near where we grew up. I told him we didn't need to break up.” She sighs. “I really thought I was being cool about it. Like we didn't need to break up just because we were going to different schools, but if we wanted to we still could. But I think he thought…”

“You wanted to stay together.”

“I didn't want him to want to break up. He didn't want to hurt me. He ended up cheating on me. And then he didn't tell me for like two years. I was so pissed.”

“That seems legit,” says Monty.

“We were already broken up when he confessed”

“But not when he cheated.”

“I told him he was an asshole and he had to get out of my house and he got into a car crash. Hard not to feel like I overreacted.”

“He's the one who got in the crash.”

“We were home for Christmas, it was snowing hard. He shouldn't have been driving. I shouldn't have made him.”

Monty can see it so clearly, all at once, like it happened to him. Not the cheating, obviously, but the broad strokes. All the stupid arguments he and Jasper have had over the years. Stuff that mattered so much in the moment, but blew over in a few days. That they figured out.

Times one of them left and made a reckless choice and stormed out, and it was fine. No big deal.

It only matters if something bad happens.

“He's not a ghost,” Nate says, with that same fierce certainty he had before.

Raven whirls on him. “What?”

“Finn. Whatever's haunting you. He's not a ghost.”

Raven’s scoff is bitter, almost disgusted. “Yeah, he's haunting me, but he's not a ghost.”

“I've seen a lot of ghosts,” Nate shoots back. “More than I can remember. And I've never seen a ghost that acts like this. I think you made him.”

“Out of what? You think I got some popsicle sticks and pipe cleaners and built a fucking apparition?”

Nate is as calm as a windless lake. “Guilt.”

“Guilt.”

“Yeah. You told him to haunt you. You don't want him to go. You've got this mute, looming specter that lives over your shoulder and you can't even see him all the time. You don't have your best friend with you. You've got a constant reminder of what you think you did. If Finn was really your friend, he'd never do this to you.”

For a selfish, shitty second, Monty wishes they were filming. Not for Raven, who doesn't deserve to have her pain broadcast on Youtube for their hundreds of followers, but for Nate. So he can see what he's like. How good he is at this. 

“I didn't ask you to come so you could absolve me,” Raven spits.

“I didn't come to absolve you. I'm not a priest. You wanted an expert and that's what you got.”

“And you see a lot of people doing this?”

“Nope. It's new for me too. Maybe I'm wrong. But if I wanted to make myself feel shitty about something for the rest of my life, that's how I'd do it.”

“I'm not making myself–” Raven starts and then just…stops. Like someone cut her strings. Monty tilts his head, just to make sure the Finn apparition didn't do anything, but of course he didn't. He's behind Raven, blank-faced. Just there, heavy at her back.

If he was haunting Jasper, or Jasper was haunting him, they'd be having fun with it. There would be hijinks. Maybe not right away, but after three years? After three years, they would have talked.

This isn't how ghosts are.

“Did you ever try to talk to him about it?” Monty asks, trying for gentle and hopefully not landing at condescending. “The accident, I mean.”

“What’s to say?”

“Are you sorry?”

There are unshed tears in her glare. “What the hell kind of question is that?”

“Have you ever told him that?” Monty presses, ignoring her murderous expression. “I know he doesn't talk to you, but do you talk to him?”

“I wasn't even sure he was real,” she snaps, but something about Monty’s expression relaxes her. “I mean, yeah, I'd talk to him, but not really…” She sighs. “Like talking to myself, I guess. Not like he could hear me.”

“If he could, what would you say to him?”

“I'd–” She looks between the three of them. “No offense, but if I was going to have a heart to heart with my dead best friend, you guys aren't going to be here.”

“Honestly, I don't want to be here,” says Jasper. “I just met you and this is a lot.”

“You can wait outside if there are too many feelings,” Monty teases.

Jasper shakes his bottle of cider. “Open container laws! I'm not getting arrested so she can do private ghost therapy.” 

“Good call,” Raven agrees. “You guys like Smash Brothers?”

They hang out for an hour or two, finishing the cider and playing video games, with absolutely no further mention of the ghost who lives just behind Raven’s back. But as they're leaving, she tells Monty, “I'll talk to him,” and he believes her.

*

They don't talk about it on their way back to Boston, and then Monty kind of doesn't know how to talk about it. Something about the whole thing hit him hard, and he can't tell if it was really a huge deal or if it just felt that way for him. Maybe he could put himself in Raven’s shoes too much, and that's why he's still thinking about her. It wasn't as big a thing for Nate or Jasper, and there’s nothing to say about it.

Hell, even Monty doesn't know what he wants to say about it. It just feels monumental, like finding out ghosts are real all over again. Ghosts aren't just ghosts like Nate’s seen. Ghosts can be more.

Three days later, he finally asks Nate, “Do you think Raven is a witch?”

“Not everyone who lives in Salem is a witch, we talked about this.”

“Not because she lives in Salem. Because of Finn. Whatever he was.”

“Maybe? I don't know.” He glances at Monty. “I think ghosts are more complicated than I thought. But I’ve been thinking that ever since I met you.”

“Me?”

Nate gives him a crooked smile. “That's a surprise?”

“I didn't think I was that weird. Just, you know, you had a crush on me.”

“Yeah, that was part of it. I didn't get what people liked about ghosts before you.”

“Fictional ghosts?”

“Yeah. The idea of them, I guess. Someone can fly or talk to animals or whatever, obviously that's cool. But ghosts are just kind of a pain.”

“Until me.”

“You were the biggest pain,” Nate teases. “But I sort of got it, too. Like an imaginary friend. Someone just for me. For me, it was good. For Raven, it sucked. But it's kind of two sides of the same coin.”

“Okay, yeah, I get that. But it was more too, right?” he can't help asking. “Finn. It was really different.”

“Yeah. And I think there might be more ghosts like him that I didn't even notice.”

Nate sounds as placid as ever, for all it's an alarming thought.

“Didn't notice?”

“If I saw Raven and Finn in a crowd, I wouldn't clock him right away. I’ve gotten better at knowing when ghosts are ghosts, but I never really meet them in very public places. Usually in deserted buildings or at night or whatever. I thought that's just how ghosts were, but…”

Maybe that shouldn't be worse. Ghosts are already real and Monty already can't reliably see them, so what does it matter if he can't see them in a crowd? But so many ghost things turned out to be wrong or bullshit, and it's hard to readjust his thinking back to things that could be real. Maybe when he feels a shudder up his spine for no reason, it's a ghost after all.

“It's kind of cool, I guess,” says Nate, whose thoughts were apparently veering in a totally different direction from Monty’s. “I don't know everything. We still have some stuff to get better at.”

“Do you think she'll ask you to get rid of him? Finn, I mean.”

“I think she won't need me.” He shrugs a little, his expression cloudy. “Maybe most people don't. I just get the ghosts that don't have other people to take care of them.”

“Or the ones who want to make out with you.”

As Monty hopes, that clears Nate's face right up. “Yeah, them too.”

*

They're trying out some weird ghost-hunting gadget that a fan sent to their PO Box–a completely surreal series of events that will probably only happen more as they somehow become more and more popular–when Raven texts Monty: do you film everything underwater and that's why it looks so bad? He blinks at the message for a few seconds, then shows it to Jasper. “Is she negging me?”

Jasper frowns too. “If anything she's negging me. I'm the camera man.”

“But she texted me.”

“Just say no,” says Nate. “See what happens.”

What happens is that his phone starts ringing, which is even more confusing. 

He puts it on speaker and picks up. “Hi?”

“Seriously, it's embarrassing for you,” says Raven. “You have like twenty followers. That's too many to subject to your shitty iPhone videos.”

“Hey, we have five thousand and–” Jasper pauses to check. “Six thousand and eighteen followers.”

“And you're still filming on a flip phone.”

“Is there a reason you're asking about this?” Monty asks, waving his hand at Jasper. 

“Finn left,” she says, her tone aggressively casual. “I told him what I needed to tell him and the next morning, he was gone.”

“Oh. That's–okay.”

“Anyway, I could use a hobby. And you guys could use someone to help you out with tech.”

“I'm good with tech!” Monty protests. “It's a money issue, not a skill issue.”

“Do you actually know anything about SEO? Marketing? Didn't you say you're getting your masters in like software engineering? That's different.”

“Seriously, did you just call to neg us or what?”

Raven huffs. “I'm trying to join the team but I kind of suck at it.”

“You want to join the team?”

“You guys have a good thing going. You need a better camera and better editing. Probably better marketing too. You're not bad, but you could do better.” There's a pause. “I haven't really gotten out much the last few years. I work full time, I freelance, and I blame myself for my best friend dying. If I have spare time, I play video games. I figure I could try to make some friends or something.”

Monty and Nate exchange a look; Nate just shrugs so Monty takes point. “Do you know anything about making merch? We were thinking we could have merch. Maybe some shirts or something.”

“No shirts until you get ten thousand followers,” Raven says firmly. “Or I guess we could gauge interest. Do you have a discord yet? I could mod that.”

“You know we don't really make money yet, right?” Jasper asks. “We're trying, but we're bad at it.”

“So I'll help you make money, and then I get a cut. It's either this or joining a pickleball league, and my leg is too fucked for a pickleball league.”

“You could try Magic: the Gathering,” Monty says without thinking, and Jasper elbows him.

“Don't tell her that! I want her to help us make money.”

“I can do both,” says Raven. “You want my camera?”

“Are you going to come with us to film?” Monty asks.

“Nah, Jasper can film. But I'll tag along when I'm bored. And then you send me your footage and I'll make it look good, post it on YouTube, and moderate your comments.”

“That would be amazing, yeah. You might never get any money back,” Monty can't help pointing out. “Or not much.”

“I needed someone to tell me what you guys told me about Finn,” she says, after a heavy pause. “I don't know if I would have listened to anyone else. I'm probably not the only one with someone like Finn following them around. So, yeah. I'm in.”

“Awesome,” says Nate, flashing Monty a smile. Monty can't read minds, but he's pretty sure they're thinking the same thing. “Happy to have you.”

*

Raven and Bellamy’s girlfriend, Clarke, are working on t-shirt designs while Bellamy pitches Nate and Jasper on a segment where he gives historical context on places they visit when Monty's mom calls him.

Telling his parents about the whole ghost thing has been an idea hanging out in the back of Monty’s mind that he worries like a loose tooth. He would never say it's going to be harder for him than it was for Nate, but it's a different kind of complicated. He and Jasper have occasionally strategized about it, but they've never come up with anything good. “My boyfriend sees ghosts” doesn't feel important enough for a call. It's not like anything really happened to Monty.

Whenever he tells Nate this, Nate gives him a look, but he hasn't actually objected yet. So it's fine. He’s not being a coward or whatever. He’s dealing with a very weird situation pretty well.

But every time he calls his parents, he knows he should tell them, and every time they call him, he has a mild panic attack thinking maybe this is it. Maybe one of his cousins saw the videos and told them. Maybe they’re secretly into ghost hunting stuff on Youtube. Maybe–

They’re at Nate’s place, so he slips into the bedroom and closes the door behind him. “Hey, Mom!”

“Hi, honey. Are you busy?”

“Not really. I’m at Nate’s, we have some friends over.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I won’t keep you.”

“No, no, it’s okay. They’re all busy.” He swallows. “Is Dad there?”

“He’s around somewhere. Why?”

“I have something to tell you. Not bad!” he adds, as she inhales sharply. “I promise. It’s just kind of weird, honestly? Really weird. Honestly incredibly weird. But I’m happy and healthy and my life is awesome.”

“You know that none of this is making me feel better, don’t you?”

“I do, yeah. Just…get Dad.”

“You’re not in a cult, are you? I know you wouldn’t say it was a cult, but–”

“I’m not in a cult! There are some similiarities to a cult,” he admits. “But just having new friends and a better social life!”

“If you try to sell us anything we’re driving to Boston to deprogram you.”

It’s not the right moment to mention merch. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

“Our son might be in a cult!” he hears her call, and a second later, his dad is there.

“A cult?”

“It’s not a cult. It’s just–I’ve been trying to tell you and it’s just so weird? But I promise it’s true and real and I want you to know because this is a big part of my life.”

“And it’s not a cult,” his mom says, still not convinced.

“Nate can see ghosts.”

It’s one of those pauses that cannot be measured. He doesn’t have a clock to reference. It feels like ten years, but it’s probably not even ten seconds. Seconds are always longer than he thinks in times like this.

“What?”

“I told you I met him after I got out of my coma, but I was lying. It was during my coma. I was some weird coma ghost and he found me and he helped me wake up. And once I woke up, we started dating.”

“And how many other people believe Nate can do this?” his mom asks carefully. “How many coma boyfriends does he have?”

“It’s not a cult!” he protests, but he’s laughing. “I’m his only boyfriend. I don’t really know how many people believe him? Our friends who are over do, and we have a Youtube channel where we do ghost stuff.”

“Is that a sex thing?” his dad asks.

“Dad! No!”

“There’s a lot of slang I don’t know!”

“We test equipment ghost hunters use to see if it actually works. And sometimes people in the area ask us to come and look at their haunted houses or whatever. Only one of them has actually been haunted so far, and she’s our friend now. She’s helping us edit our videos.”

For the first time in possibly his life, Monty can’t put himself in their shoes. He can’t imagine his child telling him this. It was easier to think of being Nate’s parents, to accept his hypothetical kid’s hypothetical ability to see ghosts, versus being the sidekick. The best friend with no superpowers. The one who could be deluding himself into thinking he can see the ghosts too, when the light catches them just right.

“I don’t know what I would have said if he told me without the coma,” he admits. “I think I would have believed him because I know him. He’s not really the kind of guy who would lie about that. But I don’t know if I really would have. It’s easy to tell myself that.”

“You remember meeting him when you were in your coma?” Mom finally asks.

“Yeah. I was kind of in a fog, I guess, and then I met him and he figured out I wasn’t actually dead. Maybe I would have woken up without him, but…”

“We like your boyfriend, you don’t need to tell us he woke you up from your coma to convince us,” she says, but it sounds like she’s teasing.

“I know it’s all so weird. But it’s all true. Ghosts are real and Nate can see them and it’s–cool, honestly. I think we can help people. Raven, that’s the girl who really was haunted, she’s doing a lot better now. She needed someone to tell her she wasn’t just delusional and talk her through what was happening.”

“Are we haunted?” Dad asks. “Would we know?”

“Nate would have noticed. Unless there’s a ghost in the house, I guess? He hasn’t visited yet. But most places aren’t haunted. You’re probably fine.”

“I don’t really know what to say,” his mom admits. “Of course I don’t think you’d lie, honey, but–”

“But it’s really weird. Do you want me to get Nate in here to tell you I’m not having a psychotic break? Or I can just send you a link to our Youtube channel.”

“And people watch this?” she asks. “Your Youtube channel?” The skepticism is understandable; Monty also can’t believe people watch them.

“Yeah, I guess ghost stuff is pretty popular. I don’t really know how many of our viewers really believe Nate can see ghosts, but I guess it’s kind of fun for them anyway? I don’t know. It’s never really been a thing for me, but Jasper thought we’d probably be pretty popular.”

“Jasper knows?”

Monty doesn’t curse. “Yeah. I told him first because he knew I didn’t have a boyfriend before my coma and I didn’t know how else to explain why I had one after. So I just told him the truth. And it kind of spiraled from there, I guess. Nate never thought about anyone, but then he told his best friend, and I knew, and Jasper knew, and it was kind of like…maybe it didn’t have to be a secret.”

“Do Nate’s parents know?”

“Yeah, he told them. I should have told you then, but–”

“It’s okay,” his dad says, surprising him. “It’s not your secret.”

“It was just easier to put it off. But I’m not in a cult and I’m not having a psychotic break. I’m really happy,” he admits. “It’s–I don’t know. But it’s good.”

“I do want the link to the Youtube,” says Mom. “Just to make sure it’s not a cult or something.”

“I’ll send it.”

“And I want Nate to come to the house and check for ghosts,” Dad adds. 

“It would be nice to have him over anyway,” Mom agrees. “I liked him.”

“I like him too. I’ll see if we can figure out a weekend to come visit. That would be fun. And you can--you don’t have to just be okay with this. You can call me and we can talk about it more. I don’t really know how to do this. I can give you Nate’s parents’ numbers? You can start the world’s most specific support group.”

“Do Jasper’s parents know?”

“Not yet. But if you want to talk to them so he doesn’t have to, he’d love that.”

His mom snorts. “No way. He has to do that himself. But you can tell them we’ll talk to them after. We can go out to dinner and get drunk.”

“Just like when we were in high school.”

“Oh, it started when you two were in pre-school,” Dad teases.

It’s so normal, Monty could cry. “Okay, well, um. I’ll send you the link. And let you know about Jasper’s parents and stuff. Thanks for–thanks. I love you.”

“We love you too,” Mom promises. “Bye.”

The call disconnects, and Monty just stares at the blank screen for a long moment. It’s what he expected, probably. What felt inevitable. He wouldn’t have told them if he hadn’t thought they would believe him. If he didn’t trust them.

Still, it feels a little anticlimactic. Maybe they’ll have more questions, or maybe they’ll just save all of that for whenever Jasper tells his parents and they can get totally wasted and watch their backlog of Youtube videos. Whatever works for them.

Nate is watching him when he opens the bedroom door, his eyes full of concern. Monty smiles, goes to sit down next to him, resting his head on Nate’s shoulder. Clarke is showing her designs to the whole group now, and they look really cool. He’s still not sure anyone will buy them, but he wasn’t sure anyone would watch their videos either.

Certainty is overrated, anyway.

“Everything okay?” Nate asks.

“Yeah. Everything’s great.”