Chapter Text
The second Ilya Rozanov discovered what a burner account was, he had one.
There were just so many bad hockey opinions available on the internet, and as the best hockey player the world had ever seen (probably the best they would ever see), he felt that it was his duty to go ahead and correct those opinions at any and every opportunity.
Daryl @PassThePuck · 4m
Mark my words, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander are going to fizzle out into nothing. The media is hyping them up. They are not that good.
Ivan @HOCKEYMAN · 3m
Hollander maybe. Rozanov will be best player to ever play in NHLDaryl @PassThePuck · 2m
Okay there buddy. Let’s let Rozanov play his first NHL game before declaring him the GOAT.
Ilya frowned at his screen. Goat? Like “baa”? Did goats baa? Or was that a sheep?
He opened a new Google search.
What is GOAT?
He clicked on the first result from the Oxford Dictionary.
Noun - Informal
a person, especially a sports player, who is excellent or the best in their field.
example - "fans will get a chance to see the GOAT one final time in person”
Ilya nodded to himself, now understanding. He navigated back to the Twitter thread and typed out a reply.
Daryl @PassThePuck · 4m
Mark my words, Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander are going to fizzle out into nothing. The media is hyping them up. They are not that good.
Ivan @HOCKEYMAN · 3m
Hollander maybe. Rozanov will be best player to ever play in NHLDaryl @PassThePuck · 2m
Okay there buddy. Let’s let Rozanov play his first NHL game before declaring him the GOAT.Ivan @HOCKEYMAN · 12s
Yes. Rozanov is GOAT.
He closed out of the website and made to put his laptop away for the night. He did, after all, have his first ever practice with Boston the next morning. However, something made him pause. He pulled the laptop back towards him.
What sound does goat make?
---
Josh @Josh1625 · 8m
Can’t believe Boston drafted a European with their first overall. Everyone knows that they can’t handle real NHL hockey.
Ivan @HOCKEYMAN · 4m
I am European. I play real hockey.Josh @Josh1625 · 2m
LOL on XBOX?Ivan @HOCKEYMAN · 1m
No. On ice.
It never made him mad to be doubted. In fact, he kind of enjoyed it when people doubted him, because it gave him a chance to prove them wrong…and he always proved them wrong.
This Josh person was one of his biggest doubters at the moment.
Out of curiosity, he clicked on the user profile and was flooded with a feed full of toxic tweets. He laughed as he scrolled through the Twitter replies, stopping suddenly at one.
He clicked it to reveal the entire Twitter thread.
Becca @HollanovIsReal · 11d
Watching Boston vs. Montreal and I SWEAR #Hollanov is in love. #HockeyOTP #ShipIt
Josh @Josh1625 · 11d
Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are not in love. You are actually delusional. Get help.Ella @Rozanovvvv · 11d
@Josh1625 Chill out. It’s just shipping. Let people enjoy hockey and their OTPs.Trishaaaaa @NHLBarbie · 11d
@Josh1625 You’re acting like this is a crime. Becca’s cute, let her have fun.
Um. What?
Hollanov? Like Bennifer and Brangelina? Him and Shane? How did they know? It had only really been the one time after the CCM ad shoot. The gym after draft day couldn’t even count as a time. And it was hardly them being in love.
With his heart beating a mile a minute, Ilya clicked into the Becca user profile. After a few minutes of scrolling, his heartbeat returned to a normal speed. They didn’t know. They were just…pretending? Hoping? Imagining? But why?
Once again, he found himself opening a new window on his laptop with his brow furrowed.
What is shipping?
Different types of shipping?
Is shipping only for boats?
How to ship without a boat?
OTP meaning?
Hockey OTP?
Hollanov OTP?
Why people ship hockey players?
How to know if two players in love?
Are Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov in love?
Are hockey players allowed OTP?
Popular HockeyOTPs?
---
Ilya lounged back on his couch, popping a fry into his mouth as the Montreal vs. Nashville game played on his TV.
Svetlana plucked a fry from the container resting on his stomach as she leaned into his side.
“Are you familiar with shipping?” Ilya asked, slipping into his native tongue with ease. He didn’t have many people in his life to speak to in Russian now that he was living in America, so he cherished his ongoing friendship with Svetlana deeply.
“Like when you send something to someone?” she asked, her expression confused.
“No, like…” He struggled to find the words. “English slang. Shipping. Relationships.”
“Ohhhh,” Svetlana replied, suddenly amused. “Yes, I am very familiar with that type of shipping.” She paused, glancing at him. “How did you even find out about that?”
“Twitter,” Ilya replied. It was the truth. Technically.
Svetlana nodded. “Yeah, that makes sense. Twitter is full of that. Did someone send you a Rozlow edit?”
“A what?”
“Rozlow edit. You and Marlow.”
A look of pure horror crossed his face, which sent Svetlana into a fit of giggles.
“People think that Marlow and I should be together? Cliff Marlow?”
“It’s a small group,” Svetlana laughed, “but they make some great edits. Here, let me show you.”
She pulled out her phone, and in what felt like no time at all, she shoved a video toward him, set to Toxic by Britney Spears.
Baby, can’t you see I’m calling?
[A clip of Marlow on the phone]
A guy like you should wear a warning
[Ilya, shirtless, in a locker room interview]
It’s dangerous, I’m falling
[Marlow falling on the ice after passing Ilya the puck]
There’s no escape, I can’t wait
[Ilya and Marlow tapping helmets on the bench]
I need a hit, baby, give me it
[Marlow slamming a New York player into the boards]
You’re dangerous, I’m loving it
[Ilya in another interview, this time winking at the camera]
There was nothing outwardly romantic about the clips, but the editing and the lyrics went a long way toward making it seem like there just might be.
They were startled by the sound of cheering from the TV. Ilya looked up in time to see a replay of Shane’s goal. The camera followed him as he celebrated, first being hugged by Hayden Pike and then a few others.
“Now that is a popular hockey ship,” Svetlana said softly. “Shayden.”
“Shane Hollander and Hayden Pike?” Ilya asked with undisguised disgust. “At least Cliff Marlow is a good fucking hockey player. Hayden Pike is trash. He isn’t even top ten on Montreal.”
“I didn’t say I shipped it,” Svetlana said, holding up her hands, slightly surprised by Ilya’s tone. “Besides, they both give me bottom energy.”
Ilya’s lips quirked at that for a second before he shook his head. “I do not want to know any more about shipping.”
“Probably for the best,” Svetlana replied sagely, stealing yet another fry.
---
Despite what he had told Svetlana, he did not, in fact, stop learning about shipping.
On a whim, he had quietly followed Becca, the girl with the @HollanovIsReal account, and gotten quite a kick out of her tweets.
A majority of his time was still dedicated to trolling hockey fans, of course.
It wasn’t until he was sitting in the locker room during the All-Star game, scrolling on his phone between the second and third period, that he stumbled on Becca live-tweeting.
Becca @HollanovIsReal · 49m
All-Star game. Ilya just skated by Shane on the bench and clearly said something to him. #Hollanov #AllStarEvidence
Sam @HockeyMom101 · 48m
Becca… are you seriously live-tweeting this?Becca @HollanovIsReal · 47m
YES. This is peak Hollanov energy. You saw it too, right?Liam @pucktheguardians · 46m
…you know players chirp each other, right?Ella @Rozanovvvv · 43m
Becca, you are unhinged and I love it.Becca @HollanovIsReal · 42m
Someone clip this interaction. It’s going to be important. I know it.
Ilya could not help himself. He replied to the thread with a simple:
Ivan @HOCKEYMAN · 1m
Could be
It was his first time interacting with the account. He grinned as he tossed his phone back into his cubby and started to put his shoulder pads back on. It was the truth, after all: the short interaction he had had with Shane could end up being quite important.
He’d have to wait until tonight to see if Shane would make use of Ilya’s hotel room number, which he had carelessly whispered as he skated by.
---
Ilya hadn’t had the opportunity to look at Twitter much in the last few days. The night of the All-Stars game did result in Shane coming over, which had been an excellent turn of events and a very busy night for them both.
He had flown out first thing in the morning and was now in the middle of a small stretch of away games on the West Coast, resulting in shared hotel rooms and just enough jetlag to throw off his usual routine.
Besides, he was finding his continuous texts with Shane far more enjoyable than insulting people on Twitter.
He did eventually make his return on a quiet evening between games while watching Shane skate circles around Carolina’s defensemen on the small hotel TV.
He ended up back on Becca’s Twitter thread and was surprised to find an invitation and link to view something called the Hollanov Evidence Files on a website called Tumblr.
He clicked on it and was immediately met with a banner featuring a gif of him and Shane looking at one another during a face-off.
The newest post caught his attention.
All-Star Bench Interaction – Frame By Frame Analysis
At 7:42 of NHL All-Star Game broadcast. I have clipped, zoomed-in, and slowed down the footage to 0.25x real-time.There are 189 frames in total, but we are going to focus on a select few.
In frames 68–149, we see Ilya Rozanov skate past the other bench. FOCUS ON WHAT HAPPENS WHILE HE DOES THIS. It is important.
As Ilya passes by Shane, he LEANS FORWARD. Their lips are mere INCHES apart.
You can see that Ilya opens his mouth and SAYS SOMETHING DIRECTLY TO SHANE.
From this angle, I cannot make out exactly what is being said. But when you look at the slowed-down footage, it looks almost like a consonant, followed by a vowel. Some type of code, maybe?????
Ilya looks at Shane with INTENSITY. It is clear that whatever message he is delivering is one that is VITAL FOR HIM TO GET ACROSS TO SHANE.
I know some people (Josh) might think Ilya was just chirping Shane, but Shane does not look mad or angry or insulted. He looks STUNNED. CONFUSED. BEFUDDLED. That is not the expression of a man who just got chirped/insulted/made fun of.
We do not get to see more because Shane is then blocked by Scott Hunter’s big unwanted head.
If anyone has another angle of this, please send it to me. My inbox is open.
Sidenote: Can you imagine if Ilya was giving Shane his room number or something??? Don’t worry, I know how outlandish that sounds. I have not gone that far off the Hollanov deep end…yet.
Ilya leaned back against the pillows on his hotel bed, blinking at the glowing screen. He was completely lost for words.
How the fuck had she figured it out?
He bookmarked the page because this…this was something he would have to keep a close tab on.