Chapter Text
Emilia's room.
It was late at night as a large storm was raging on outside Miload Manor. Emilia had just been working on reading historical documents as well as signing papers for the royal selection, it was safe to say that it was incredibly draining, even with the help of Otto, it was still far too much work for her.
Emilia leaned back in her chair and began to think of her favorite person, her knight, Subaru. She had recently returned his feelings six months after receiving her past memories, and she was incredibly grateful for all his help, but that wasn't why she loved him. He had waited such a long time and only now was she realizing how much effort and love he put for her, she was such a dunderhead for not seeing it sooner.
She remembered how that they went on dates more often and how holding hands felt so much warmer, how embarrassed and red he would seem, how his scary eyes felt so much more softer just when looking at her, how his sweet voice and handsome face were-
*BOOM*
Her thoughts were abruptly interrupted by a loud thunderstike, it startled her greatly as she quickly looked outside and finally noticed how rampant the weather was. Raining falling heavily, dark clouds, and lighting dancing across the sky.
Her thoughts drifted back to Subaru and what he could be doing during this kind of weather, surely he would be helping out Frederica and Petra with their work still, and Ram might just be hiding somewhere to avoid said work, such a silly bunch they were.
Deciding to take some initiative, Emilia got up and made her way out of the room, strolling in the hallways with a genuine and happy look plastered all across her features, her elven ears turning a slight shade of pink at the thought of Subaru.
Her thoughts were running wildly as she considered what to do with Subaru when she would see him. "I could give him a lap pillow, he enjoys those, or we could c-cuddle again..." She stuttered as her face began to heat up. All these new things they were trying out and she realized just how intimate it was, even the simple lap pillow felt so embarrassing, not that she didn't enjoy it though. Her face was burning hot at the possibilities of what they could do together.
Her 'not' so innocent thoughts were interrupted as she saw Beatrice, which was Subaru's spirit and greatest companion, but what was more intriguing was that Subaru wasn't with her, it was very unlikely that the two would be apart unless Subaru was working, training, or bathing, but during those times, Beatrice would just read, not roam the halls.
As they began to cross paths, Emilia called out softly to Beatrice. "Beatrice, where is Subaru? And why aren't you with him?" She questioned in a slight worry. Beatrice not being around Subaru was a little call for concern.
Beatrice turned back and looked at Emilia. "Betty's contractor is currently showering, I suppose. Betty decided to go to the library to read, in fact." She stated, which immediately eased most of Emilia's worries. Emilia knew that Subaru was hiding a lot from her, and most of what he was hiding was his own problems.
She sighed in relief. "I'll be going to see him then." She said with a new smile, turning around before being called out by Beatrice once more.
"Betty will stay with Petra-chan then, I suppose." She said simply before continuing. "Do not take it too far with my contractor, in fact." Beatrice turned around and walked away, leaving Emilia utterly confused by the implications of her words.
Deciding to put that aside, Emilia went on her merry way towards Subaru's room.
...
Subaru's room.
Subaru's room was dimly lit, and the black haired boy was not present, but a sound came from the bathroom, to where the knight of the half-elf was.
Subaru hissed in pain, blood dripping from his left, torn forearm. "Damn it..." He grunted quietly to himself. All he wanted to do was take a simple shower, but those thoughts, the thoughts that haunt him, the nightmares, the deaths, the pain, the agony, the humiliation, the fear, the loneliness-
It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts—"It hurts it hurts it hurts, it hurts!"
Subaru's mind began spiraling down once more, his fingernails digging into his skin, creating deep gashes as more blood poured so smoothly and pitifully. "I promised Beako I would be alright, that I wouldn't...what a joke." He thought in disappointment and resent, the idea of him keeping a promise was always a joke, yet his loving spirit always believed in him, he hated himself for the promise breaking bastard he was.
He looked into the broken mirror, blood flowing down the cracked glass as his saw himself, a shattered and broken Natsuki Subaru. "That's me, just me, that's the real me..." He said confessed to his broken reflection.
It wasn't long before his thoughts continued to scream, as he was reminded of a time long gone, of a time where none of that happened, nor did it exist, but only to him, where memories he had that no one else had, the thoughts, the reality, was far too overbearing.
It was all too heavy for one man: the feeling of a deep cut in his stomach, the feeling of his very life being drained, the feeling of his head just being blown to lumps and chucks, the feeling of being torture again and again and again, the feeling of his bones breaking and his body bruised, the feeling of being frozen, it was too much, not to mention the rabbit...
Over and over and over and over and over and over over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over- "When will it end...?" Subaru thought ruefully.
Deeper and darker, both his mind and the gashes he inflicted on himself went, the feeling was overwhelming his soul and overloading his mind, he'd break like the mirror before long. If only Satella didn't give him this cruel taboo; Beatrice, Emilia, even Otto would've helped, but no, he's forced to live in dark submission, lest he kills the people he loves with the cruel truth of his pitiful self.
Soon, his left forearm was covered in his own blood and some chucks of his flesh were ripped away, it was done with, but not over. Now he switched to his right forearm, as the stress wasn't alleviated, it wasn't gone, it was never gone, it couldn't be gone, he failed too many times for it just to all disappear.
"Huff...huff..." He began breathing deeply and harder as his ripped out flesh from his right forearm, the pain bought him a little bit of a calming sensation before the stress rammed right back into Subaru, the need to feel pain was his only cope, it was the only thing that work, because he needed to stay in edge, because he would be the only one to endure this hell, no one else.
He hissed once more, the tiles of the bathroom floor had small puddles of his blood and even some chucks of flesh. This had to stop, if it didn't, his darling Emilia-tan would surely find out, even if they had recently gotten together, the possibility of her finding him utterly revolting couldn't leave his mind, the idea that he was so broken that she couldn't put up with it always lingered, the idea of being abandoned again...
He shook his head as two voices arose to debate. "No, she wouldn't do that, she said she loves me, and I love her!" He tried reasoning. You know deep down that she would see you as nothing more than a broken man." His dark silhouette responded. "No! Emilia isn't like that, she's kind and caring and naive, but she's a good pers-" The battle in his subconscious disappeared at the sound of muffled silver bells.
"Subaru?" The voice asked innocently, and Subaru's blood ran cold as he knew who it was immediately just by the voice, it was his lover, the beautiful silver-haired half-elf, Emilia.
Subaru began to sweat in a panic as his eyes darted acorss the bathoom and his forearms, the marks in his arms were far too deep and Beako wasn't there to heal, there was too much blood on the floors and sink, but regardless of all that, he has to try his best to clean it, to get rid of the evidence. "I-I'll be out in a minute Emilia-tan!" He tried saying in a light and cheery tone, but it silently screamed of distress and fear.
Emilia, on the other side of the bathroom door, heard how he sounded, heard how desperate he sounded, how scared and fragile, but why would he sound so frightened? "Subaru? Is everything alright?" She questioned in a great amount of worry, but she couldn't deny hoping that he would finally confide in her. She knocked on the door gently.
Subaru began to panic even more, grabbing a towel from underneath the sink and cleaning the blood in the floor and sink. "A-All is good! I'll be out in a minute, okay?" He forced his voice. This was horrible, horrible timing, at his weakest moment, of course his princess came to see him. He cursed himself even more.
Emilia felt slightly furious, she knew Subaru was hiding something, and judging by his tone and panicked voice, it must've been something rather important. Ever since the Sanctuary, Emilia had unconsciously began to noticed Subaru's odd habits and patterns, meaning she could easily tell when he was hiding something, and when he was more scared than confident, she wouldn't call him out on it, of course, but this was different, there were no enemies nor mabeast, and it was only her and him, so what could he be scared of?
In the bathroom, Subaru did his best cleaning up the blood as best he could, now the only problem was his arms, there were no ways around it. The robes were pure white, meaning it would stain, and they were still leaking blood which means it wouldn't go away for awhile, he had no choice but to try and hide it as best as he coul-
*WHOOSH—SLAM!*
Subaru got up and turned around in fear, his eyes darting down to that of a pinhole. He already had his sweatpants and robe on so it wasn't that he was naked, and he had washed his hands of all of the blood as well as tried to clear of his flesh, but the fear of knowing who just slammed the door, and what they would see. That she would see him.
Emilia was prepared for mostly anything, but when she saw Subaru frightened like a child, with blood dripping down his arms and the sleeves of his white robe becoming a light red, the confidence in her actions fell apart.
Subaru trembled slightly as he saw Emilia. The fear of being seen as a broken man, as a useless knight, as a horrible lover for lying over and over. Such a scumbag he was, lying and breaking promises on a regular basis, truly he was broken.
Emilia's jaw slacked as she drank in the sight of Subaru, she began looking around and seeing undeniable faint marks of red on the sink and floor, undoubtedly more of his blood, but another instinct kicked in, one that screamed to help and protect Subaru.
Her eyes darkened as she slowly walked to Subaru, her tender hands softly gripping his as she turned them over, showing the once white sleeves of the robe fully red and dripping with blood. Emilia knew that Subaru had done this to himself, it was obvious, it hurt her very Od to know, but she needed to help him. Her hands hovered over the sleeves as a light blue glow began to heal him.
Subaru accepted his failings, and could only look down in shame and acceptance as she began to heal him, he rolled up his sleeves so it'd be easier, but what a mistake on his part.
Emilia gasped loudly at the sight of his completely torn forearms, it was grotesque and disturbing, not only because of how bloody it was, but because of how practiced it was, how well it was done, like Subaru had been doing this forever. But even as a few tears slipped from her amethyst eyes, she continued healing him.
The silence was crushing Subaru's soul, the guilt weighting more and more as his torn muscles began to stitch themselves because of his beloved. He nearly broke when he saw her expression so distraught and he hated himself all the more when her perfect eyes began to shed tears, he truly was a horrible man.
After the silence was far too much to bare, Subaru had spoken up. "E-Emilia... I'm sorry...I didn't..." He started in a soft tone, but the more he spoke, the more it broke. He couldn't make excuses, not to her and not now, it would only make her 'hate' him even more.
Emilia couldn't look up at him. Subaru was suffering far more than her, to the point where he needed to hurt himself for relief, she couldn't and shouldn't cry, it would be unfair, yet she couldn't just stay calm, the tears still flowed. She kept her head down as she somberly questioned. "Subaru, why? Why are you suffering alone?" She asked quietly, her voice in a silent sob.
Subaru could see Emilia's hands shake as they healed him, the thought of her shaking in 'anger' at him hurt, but what hurt even more was the tone of betrayal in her voice, the amount of pain and grief he put her through just by making a mistake. Damn him for not being stronger, smarter, better–damn him for being Natsuki Subaru.
He gulped, not knowing how to reply, he wished he could just spill it all out, everything he's been through, everything he's seen, every hell and nightmare that haunt him, all the disturbing experiences he was forced know, but he couldn't, he knew he couldn't, he had already killed Emilia once, he didn't want to do it again. "I...I just get, really overwhelmed..." He gave his half-ass excuse.
Emilia could tell it was a lie, she hated liars, moreso that her own beloved would lie to her, but, she also knew that Subaru had a lot of issues that he wouldn't open up with, things he couldn't talk about. She knew, she saw the look in his scary eyes that said 'I wish I could say it all, but I can't.' And she hated that, hated that Subaru couldn't be Subaru, because she loved her Subaru.
Subaru bit his lip in regret and disappointment, nearly drawing blood but he stopped himself, he didn't want to make more work for his love. Emilia finished healing him, her fingers treaded lightly across the new scars, though it wasn't perfect, it had stopped the bleeding completely.
Emilia still kept her head down, but she slid her hands down to Subaru's, grasping them, as if seeking his warmth. She lightly tugged them along as they left the bathroom in a new, profound, uncomfortable silence. Subaru didn't dare fight it, he'd gladly take any punishment for his sins.
Emilia led them both into his dimly lit room, towards his bed, whilest the storm was still raging outside, perfectly mirroring the situation at hand. The darkness of Subaru and his thoughts, the downpour of rain which were Emilia's tears. Irony in it's finest.
Emilia held Subaru's hand as she sat on the bed, before long, Subaru sat beside her, her hand clutching his like a life support, hoping he wouldn't just disappear into thin air.
Emilia spoke softly first. "Let me see them, all of them..." She demanded quietly, and Subaru promised himself to take all of her retribution. And so, after opening his mouth and closing it a few times, battling his inner conflict, he reluctantly lowered his robe. Scars were painted on his chest and stomach, not the results of training, but the results of continuous self-hatred.
Emilia's eyes widen again at the sight of a scarred torso, her lovers torso. She purposely hid her face so he couldn't get a glimpse at her reaction. Emilia was in a sadden awe, her fingers unknowingly moved and began lightly tracing the lines on the skin, she couldn't see them all that well but it was enough, to feel the difference in texture, to feel the torture Subaru had put himself through.
Subaru couldn't help but feel embarrassed and shame by all of this, sure, it was a incredibly serious moment, but it felt all too sudden, a somewhat dark room, her feeling his body in such a intimate manne-
"Your hands were so soft, now they're rough, and your body had no scars, now you're filled with them." Emilia said in a low, sad tone, like she regretted and resented all that had happened to him.
She looked up at him, her jewel like eyes shimmering with new, unshed tears, her body was trembling, her hands shaking as she continued quietly to feel the scars. Her eyes pleaded, just for an answer. "Why...Subaru?" She asked once more, her voice nearly breaking once again.
Subaru's mind was a whirling mess still, like the thunderings storm, and he truly wanted nothing but the best for her, like nothing mattered but Emilia. He was stuck, so torn with wanting to tell her and not, he didn't want her to die, he didn't want the witch to crush his heart, he didn't want any danger, but he just wanted to spill it all out, everything he had been holding back.
But he couldn't, he couldn't take that risk. Subaru gulped. "I can't tell you...Emilia, I wish I could, but I really can't." Subaru stated with remorse. He'd love, wanted, needed to tell her everything, but he knew he couldn't.
Emilia rested her head onto his shoulder, shaking her head. "I don't need the details you dunderhead...I just need to know how much it hurts, and how I can help." She said calmly, though the shaking in her body betrayed her calm demeanor.
Subaru couldn't, didn't know what to do, it was far too much, far too overwhelming...but, if maybe he could just say a fraction of his pain, of what he's been through, maybe, it'll be okay, surely that's allowed, right? "I..." He started, but didn't find the resolve to continue, he didn't want to bother Emilia with all his problems, with his little tantrums, even if he so desperately wanted to spill his entire chest.
Emilia knew he wouldn't speak on it anymore, and so, deciding that they weren't close enough, she stood up, turned to face Subaru, and straddled his lap. She rested there with her legs in a kneeling form in the bed as she pressed his face into her chest, then she threw her arms over his shoulders and in a soft embrace, a display of vulnerability and trust. Though, it was embarrassing to be in such a position, but that doesn't matter to her.
Subaru was slightly startled by the sudden movement, but his mind was still occupied of what to say, what could he say? Is there anything he can say? He had used 'fake' scenarios to somewhat tell his problems, but never fully saying anything.
Emilia nuzzled into his neck, inhaling softly. "He smells good..." She thought. If it weren't for this tense and painful situation, she would indulge further with her lovers body and scent.
Subaru, still battling for his choice of words, decided to speak up once more. "I'm...sorry, Emilia. I-I'm just so scared...and, I don't know how to...I've just been through a lot things." He says in a hesitant tone, his arms finally wrapping around the half-elfs waist for comfort.
Emilia pulled him closer in the embrace, her face still nuzzling against his neck. "What things...?" She asked softly and sincerely, her voice still quivering with untold pain and sorrow for her beloved.
Subaru couldn't help but feel trapped, Emilia kept pushing him to say something, anything, and the desire to do so was urging even more, it didn't have to be a full truth, just something. But would his pride allow such a thing? Would he really test the witch just get comfort?
Subaru gulped at the absurdity of this situation. "I...things you don't know, wouldn't know, things no one remembers but me..." He closed his eyes and prepared for the worse...only for nothing to happen, relief filled his soul as he felt Emilia stroke the back of his head, her tender fingers playing with the locks of his dark hair.
She nodded against his shoulder. "Mhm..." She murmured simply, as if urging him to continue and not stop, as if asking him to cry his soul out and she would happily listen, it's the least she could do after all she's done for him.
Subaru began silently hyperventilating, this was too much, why? Why now was he able to say such things? Why was he able to speak about it in not just hypothetical situations, was he just over thinking it? Maybe he didn't actually break it? He was sooth by Emilia's soft hands rubbing his back, easing the tension that was building. His arms began clutching on to Emilia tighter and more needy.
"Shhh..." She cooed softly. "It's okay, I'm not leaving, and I'm not mad...I love you, Subaru." She confessed in such a fragile tone, her words holding the weight of the truth, but also the pain that is present with them.
Subaru's body shook even more, his arms trembled as they held onto her, tears he didn't plan on shedding began to flow, and as her hands still lightly grazed over his scars, his natural instinct was to flinch, but he only grasped her tighter.
He didn't know what to believe anymore, was this just a dream? Was this a trick some unknown deity was playing on him? He spoke up, his voice trembling. "I-I shouldn't...I can't...it's too...dangerous." He said while shivering in fear. He silently prayed that this was reality, that the witch had finally taken mercy upon him.
Emilia couldn't help but get a flashback, to a time long ago where Subaru had just begun working at the mansion. It was only his second day and yet, she could sense that he was having an abnormal amount of stress, his smile fake, his voice and laugh were forced, a well placed facade that didn't last.
She remembered taking his hand, leading him into a spare guest room, how he sat and she sat with him, how she pulled him into her thighs, how she stroked his hair, whispering just a few words to him, and he curled up and broke. He cried about things she didn't understand, couldn't understand, but as long as he got whatever he needed to get, it would be okay.
She remembered that time at the Sanctuary, where they were walking in the middle of the night, where he expressed how running away wasn't wrong, how facing their problems another day wasn't selfish.
His manic-like ramblings had caused her a bit of worry, but she instinctively knew what to do. And how she grabbed his head and placed it in her bosom, how she whisper to him to listen to her heart, how he listened so tentatively. His flame died down, his anger ceased.
And now was the time, to try it once again, she felt horrible but she knew that those words might work again, and she hoped it would, for his sake, and her own. Her lips brushed softly against his ear. "Listen to me...it's been rough, hasn't it, my love?" She whispered oh so lovingly, so softly, so tenderly and warm.
Subaru broke, his eyes now streaming, his body convulsing, his teeth chattering like a mad man. "Why...Why did you have to say that again?" He asked inwardly before crying on her shoulder, his hands clutching her clothes and his arms trying to wrap around her even more, he felt...safe. And Natsuki Subaru, broke once more.
"*Sniffle* It's been, so, so hard...all this pain, all the suffering, all the deaths-" He thought he mumbled quietly, but Emilia heard it loud and clear, her mind now racing at the implications of his words. "-All of it, all of it was just too damn much! I'm still the weak, pathetic, broken man! Who can't do anything!" He cried out loudly, his words of self-loathing being heard loudly and clearly by the loving half-elf.
Emilia began soothing him once more, she would question him about it later, right now, she could only comfort him. "You're not broken, my Subaru...and you're soooo much stronger and better than you think, I know you are, Subaru." She said gently, her own tears flowing at the sight of her lover in so much pain.
It had then dawned onto Subaru what he said, quietly or not, he wasn't allowed to say those words, he wasn't allowed to, she wouldn't let him, and yet he spoke it. His eyes darted around now in fear. "Don't...Don't!" He yelled, looking around the room now, clutching Emilia protectively, shielding her from nothing.
Emilia watched in shock, her beloved just started screaming to nothing, begging, all the while shielding her from nothing. Emilia was sadden, it only confirmed that someone was putting her lover in so much pain.
She loosened his grip and cupped his face with her hands. "Subaru...I'm here, no one is here to hurt you." She comforted. It shattered her heart to see his eyes so panicked and in fear, all for her sake.
After a long while of nothing happening, Subaru calmed down, but his mind was still on edge, still in fear, still holding Emilia to protect her.
Subaru's thoughts were interrupted when he felt a soft kiss on his head. Emilia began kissing his forehead, than his cheek, and all over his face, effectively drawing him out of his thoughts.
She gazed deeply into his red, tear filled eyes, the storm began to calm into soothing rain. Slowly, their foreheads connected, the closeness and intimacy calming the burning of pain in both of their souls.
Subaru breathe in and out heavily for a few moments, before sighing in a newfound relief, he had broken the taboo and his darling Emilia-tan was alive. "Heh...Leave it to Emilia-tan to fix my problems with kisses." Subaru joked lightly, trying to clear the tense atmosphere. He looked down at his body with shame. "I'm...sorry, for having you heal me. I'm sure you didn't want see...this." He apologized quietly, the disgust he felt for himself never fleeting.
Emilia gave stern and motherly-like eyes. "Enough talking about yourself like that, I healed you because I wanted to, not because I had too." She said with a hint of wrath in her voice. She knew one of Subaru's greatest flaws was his large amount of self-loathing, why couldn't he realize how great and amazing he was?
Subaru could only look away from her beautiful face. She was right, talking to himself like this wasn't doing any good, but it was all true, without this ability, he and her would be...he shook his head not to think about it. "I'm sorry." He said in a remorseful tone.
Emilia sighed softly. "You nincompoop...a thank you would've be more sufficient." Emilia looked around, noticing that the only light source was a small mana stone lantern, which she didn't mind. She gently tugged on Subaru's robe, her eyes innocently pleading. "Can I stay?" She asked softly.
Subaru nodded, though there was a slight blush. "I was going to ask you not to leave yet, I...I still want to hold you, if that's okay." He flashed a small unsure smile, but a genuine smile.
She smiled back, intertwining her hands into his as they moved closer to the center of the bed.
They laid side by side, Subaru held Emilia's head to his chest as he inhaled the divine scent that her hair was, felt how her body perfectly welded with his, if this was a dream, than he'd be thankful for it nonetheless.
Emilia enjoyed the sound of his heartbeat, her fingers tracing the lines along his chest and stomach, admiring how strong Subaru was to handle so much by himself, and this was all he resorted himself too.
Emilia spoke up against Subaru's chest. "Hey...Subaru?" She called out to him.
Subaru kept his eyes close and his face against her hair. "Yeah?" He responded, a hint of worry in his voice.
"What are you afraid of, Subaru?" She asked simply. Throughout most of their adventures, she had seen him never been scared of anything, even when facing Elsa or the Great Rabit, she saw that he was full of confidence, but was all that an act?
Subaru gulped at the simple but incredibly hard question, but, he had already spilled most of his guts. The truth of his self-harm, the taboo, what's wrong with telling his lover all about his fears? "I...I don't like being alone, that's why...I always work hard, obviously because I don't wanna seem useless, but because being alone...always ends up like this." He admitted with even more shame. Sure, it was nice to tell her what he fears, but it was still shameful. "How many lines are we gonna cross..." He thought bitterly. At this point, he was going to exposed everything about his true disgusting self.
Emilia felt a tinge of guilt shoot into her heart. The memory of leaving Subaru in the capital resurfaced in a cruel manner, because after learning the truth, she realized how hard it was to leave him suffering all alone.
He chuckled lightly, the amount of embarrassment and shame of this entire conversation and confession was too profound. "Y'know, Emilia-tan, you're really cruel? Having me nearly naked, spilling my secrets..." Subaru tried to joked lightly, anything to get his mind off this embarrassing situation.
Emilia other the other hand, did not take it lightly. She instead realized that his words held some truth to them, as she had him lay his scars and secrets bare while she continued to be covered up, she thought that it reeeeally was unfair. And so, she sat up, and began tearing away her upper clothes one by one.
Subaru was going to continue his joking, until he saw that Emilia was taking off her shirt and bra, her beautiful, milk colored breast spilling out so divinely that he froze, his brain couldn't begin to process what was happening.
Emilia had taken her upper clothing off, her body naked down to her waist, her pink perky nipples far to appetizing to Subaru, and her silver haired flowed so much more smoothly (to him). She laid back down and pushed herself against him. Their chest were pressing together as a new heat was rooted between them.
Emilia, whose face and elven ears was completely scarlet, looked back up to Subaru, a glint of openly and absolute trust in the man she loved. "B-Better, Subaru? Now...I lay bare, with you." She stated not so confidently.
Subaru's mind was racing. "She did that just so she can be naked with me? To make it 'fair?'" And although he wanted to protest, to tell Emilia that it wasn't necessary and he was joking, the squishy and unmistakable feeling of her breast being pressed against him was far too good to let go. Subaru began pulling his beloved even closer. (Totally not to feel her chest better)
Emilia wrapped her arms around his waist, planting soft kisses against his chest to show adoration for all the scars he bore, the pain he had, she wouldn't dare neglect him and his suffering like that ever again. Subaru blushed heavily at her affection.
He felt as if the quiet was comfortable, but the situation, the feeling, the sensations, it was a bit too much for the EX-NEET to deal with. "E-Emilia-tan, you know you didn't need to do that...right?" Subaru asked worriedly, more for himself and his natural body's reaction. Even though they both knew it was far too late to be worrying.
Emilia looked up to her beloved, her face still flushed, but now held confusion. "Subaru? What do you mean? We're equal now, just man and woman, no royal selection, no knights, no duties, just us..." She said softly while her hand began grazing against his cheek.
Subaru felt awestruck by Emilia's naivity and sincerity, how she cared so much and view them as equals, even though she was far, far better than he ever could be. "Emilia..." He muttered in a hased tone, with a lovestruck look, along with total admiration.
But the peace didn't last forever, as Subaru still is a young man and well, this situation isn't the best for someone who's under so much stress, and whose also had no prior experience with women.
And Emilia noticed this.
"Hm?" Emilia looked down, the sheets hiding something she didn't know what. "Hey, Subaru, what's poking me?" She asked so innocently.
Subaru became beet red at her question, because he knew what it was and it was far too embarrassing to tell her that he was completely turned on by the sight of her. "I-I'm sorry, let me just-" He tried to move away, embarrassed that his own member would get excited at a time like this.
Emilia didn't like him wanting to run, and so she held fast. Thanks to Otto and Frederica, she had received a proper sexual education, meaning she knew better about boys and sex, and how Subaru was...excited. "This is Subaru's...thingy, right? Frederica said it feels good, maybe I can..." She reached underneath the covers, and gently traced along the outline of his sweatpants.
Subaru was extremely startled and began freaking out. "E-Emilia-tan?! What are you-" He was interrupted as he felt his angels lips meet his own, the kiss was soft and passionate, clearing his mind of what was before him.
They were still both inexperienced with kissing, so their mouths clumsily clashed against each other, tongues trying to intertwine. But it was enjoyable, even if they weren't doing it right.
After a moment, Emilia pulled away as a string of saliva connected them. "It's okay...I-I want this." Her other hand began grazing along his neck. To Emilia, his neck seemed so incredibly desirable, something she wanted to taste and love. "Frederica said that people should only do this when they love each other...and I love Subaru." A wave a determination overcame Emilia, she wanted Subaru all to herself, for her to love and adore. She felt so greedy.
Subaru wanted this just as much, if not, even more than her, but he had learn so much self restraint that the idea of letting himself indulge felt alien. And..."Do I even deserve this?" He thoughts of self-worth came back, for he knew he didn't deserve this.
But his thoughts came to a full stop as he felt his hardened member be grasped tightly. His eyes met Emilia once more and he saw the amount of determination, but why? Why did she love him so?
Emilia spoke up, her hand reaching into his pants and softly stroking him. "After our kiss...I learned a lot, Subaru~ And I want to make you feel good, I want us to—to do this, because you deserve it, you deserve all of my love, Subaru." Emilia said with hearts in her eyes.
She continued. "I want you, all of you, I know you love that Rem...but I want you allll to myself " She giggled lightly. "I'm so selfish, right?" She said to herself more than to him. She was slightly envious that Subaru loved Ram's sister as the same amount as he loved her.
Subaru looked slightly surprised and his gaze was casted down into shame, he knew he was scum for 'loving' two girls, he knew it was wrong. But that could be taken care of later. "I...I've never done this, I don't know..." A slender finger silenced his words.
Emilia held her finger there as she began to speak. "I know...and I haven't either, I'm a bit of a dunderhead on this, so we'll get through this together, ok-ey?" She said confidently with her love-struck gaze.
Subaru was a little more flustered that she used his 'okay' slang, and why was she so confident? Sure, she had been taking the initiative more often than not, but to have complete and utter faith in him while also being confident? Od, how he loved his woman.
Subaru nodded, and Emilia took her finger off him. "We'll take it slow, I just want you to realize how much I love you, and how much you deserved to be loved." She finished with a kiss, it deepened to levels never before, the warmth, the love, the closeness, all piling on.
Before Subaru could think any further, Emilia had already twisted and straddled his lap, showing the encased, but totally erected cock. Her breast bounces slightly in his face, and it was quite obvious through his facial expressions, he was very much enjoying the sight.
Emilia noticed this, she didn't understand why he loved looking at them so, but it warmed her to know that Subaru loved every bit of her. "Here-" She grabbed his right hand, bringing it and resting it on her right breast. "You can touch, because I'm all yours~" She cooed seductively.
Subaru felt his mind racing and his cock twitching at the sensation of feeling the half-elfs breast, it molded and melted into his hand as he kneed the lump of flesh, he member growing harder at this godly feeling. His mouth felt dry as no words could be spoken.
Emilia began rubbing her wet, thinly clothed entrance against his harden length. "This is you...wanting me, right? That makes me happy, Subaru..." She whispered with a joyous and delightful look.
Subaru could swear that he had seen her getting more and more confident, as well as assertive. Sure, he had done most of the date planning as well as the first moves, but this? This was something else, and he loved it. "E-Emilia-tan, I—damn, I don't know what to do." He asserted with a shaky voice.
"And you don't need too." She responded quickly. Leaning down as she dragged her breast along his body, the feeling of rubbing her sensitive tips along his well-built figure was exciting. "Just let me show you, how much I love you." Her hand lingered and grazed along his neck, touching it so tentatively.
She kissed along his neck, than to his cheek, and finally to his still-shocked lips, and without giving him a chance to recover, she dove in and began devouring his mouth. Their tongues battled shamelessly and hungrily, never tasting enough of each other. Emilia still continued stroking Subaru through his sweatpants, while Subaru began rubbing her soaked clit.
Emilia began moving her lips more downward, kissing lightly on his face until she reached his neck. To Emilia, it was like a treat for the taking, an odd wanting to ruin it with her mouth always passed her by, and so, she did. She sucked harshly on it while Subaru are groaned in pleasure.
Once she had marked him as hers, she sat back up, now focusing purely on the hardness that was being restrained by his pants. She looked to him, her eyes pleading lustfully. "Can I?" She asked while already tugging at it.
"Please." He said in a frantic rush, nodding his head just for extra conformation.
Emilia tugged the fabric off, freeing the hot rod of flesh. He was already leaking with pre-cum, flushed dark and straining, as if needing to be released. Emilia's slender fingers grasped his length without hesitation, beginning to pump him slowly.
Subaru trembled at the unknown, yet pleasing sensation. "Ah—shit—!" He was silenced by a quick peck on the lips.
"Shhh...Focus on me, only on me." She whispered as she continued stroking him, keeping an unreadable rhythm. "Breathe..." She cooed in a teasing tone. Stroking and teasing his tip oh so slowly, it was maddening to Subaru.
Emilia didn't exactly know how to do things well, as it was her first time even seeing a man's penis, but judging by Subaru's reactions, she could tell he was enjoying it, as he should. "Hopefully this dunderhead realizes it now."
Subaru tried to hold back, to not let go and indulge in his lust. He gripped onto Emilia's plush and soft thighs, anchoring himself for the continuous waves of pleasure. His breathing deepened as he held his urge to let loose.
But after the long teasing and constant attention on his shaft, it was apparent he didn't have the will to hold on much longer. "E-Emilia-tan, I'm gonna-" He felt his shaft be released, effectively leaving him on the edge. "Emilia?" He looked with a betrayed and disappointed look.
Emilia giggled at his face. "Sorry, Subaru~ But I can't have you doing that, yet." She traced her hands on her body, before reaching for her soaked panties and striping it away. She sat closer to his face, showing off her bare, and wet sex.
If Subaru wasn't breathless before, he was now. His darling, innocent, naive Emilia-tan was showing herself proudly before him, for his sake, for his pleasure, as well as her own. A deeper shade of red was upon his face, blood rushing to his face even quicker.
"See this, Subaru? This is your fault~" She clumsily parted her lower lips, giving Subaru full view. "I reeeeeally need to thank Frederica after this." She thought happpliy to herself. The sight of Subaru being utterly baffled and red was so charming.
He shuddered as steam came out of his ears, the sight was overwhelming his peanut brain. "EMT!" Was all the poor boy could conjure up within his consciousness.
She slid back, rising herself just above his cock, the wetness that was her pussy hovering over it, looming and ready. Subaru swallowed in anticipation. She steadily lowered herself, taking him inch by inch as she let out a breathless moan. "Subaruuuu~" She cried out in ecstasy.
Subaru shutted his eyes and gritted his teeth as he felt his member being slowly swallowed by his princesses pussy. "E-Emilia!" The feeling was suffocating, tight, and warm, but the pleasure it brought was beyond reasoning as the throbbing of his cock began pulsing in her.
He opened his eyes to see his dick covered in a bit of blood, his senses immediately going into protective mode as he sat up and held his liege. "Emilia, are you okay?" He checked softly with a tint of worry.
Emilia nodded, grimacing a bit. "I-It hurts, only a little bit, it feels good too..." She said while starting to slowly grind onto him, the electric sensations spiking into both of them.
She sat fully onto him, taking his entire length inside. They both were breathing heavily as they adjusted to the heat, stretching, and the surreal amount of closeness. Together as one.
She placed her hand over her stomach, tracing the obvious outline of her lovers dick aching inside of her. "S-See? You're inside of me now..." Her voice was breathless and losing confidence.
Subaru, seeing his opportunity to show his assertive side, grabbed Emilia's waist, and gently thrusted, hitting her cervix and deep in her womb.
Emilia yelped in surprise, her hands not clutching onto Subaru's shoulders as her lower body began to flutter, wanting to keep Subaru in forever. "Can I, Emilia-tan?" He asked for permission once more, which earned him a desperate nod from Emilia.
He started to rock against her body, the feeling of slow, intimate sex was sending jolts of pleasure between the both of them. Emilia began whimpering as Subaru panted and groan in pleasure.
Subaru brought his tongue to the tip of her tit, beginning to suckle on it lightly as he continued sliding in and out of his half-elf. "Ah-ah! Subaruu~!" Emilia cried out. "If we—ah!—continue like this, he'll make me a-a mother!" She thought mindfully, though, the idea of bareing Subaru's offspring didn't sound too bad to the half-elf. "A mother~" She cooed inwardly.
Subaru began nipping at her hardened nipples, flicking it with his tongue before going to swirl the rest of her ample bosom. His other hand began teasing and rubbing her other tip, pulling it lightly before letting it bounce repeatedly.
Emilia was now the one being dominated, her earlier confidence completely crumbling at the grand amount of euphoric joy and bliss from Subaru's hot rod, the feeling of being penetrated over and over, and her clit being slammed against as well as her breasts being toyed with, mushing all her senses and mind until she could only think and say one name. "Subaruuuu~! Subaruuuuuu~!" She wailed in total ecstasy. Now rocking her hips to match his steady pace.
Subaru felt as if he was seeing stars, only having enough brain power to continue mindlessly thrusting into Emilia's wet slit and sucking on the tips of the half-elfs breast, his mind numbing and enjoying the pure bliss of feeling the insides of Emilia. He admired her breasts, seeing how pink and raw they were and how they were glistening with his saliva, the thought of marking her chest as his, hardened him even more.
Though it was only mere moments of the passion lovemaking, it felt like hours to the young couple, not realizing nor caring how loud they were, how the lewd sounds they were making could be heard throughout the entire manor, flesh on flesh, driven by love and the need to satisfy each other.
The pleasure was piling on, and the need to release was increasing for the otherworlder and half-elf, both chasing their climax. "E-Emilia, I'm gonna-!" He started with breathless speaking, his voice hoarse.
Emilia nodded frantically, her hands gripping onto Subaru's back and scratching it unconsciously. "Y-Yes! Subaru! Do it!" She cried her order. The need to feel her lovers warm seed was overloading her mind.
Subaru, hearing her desperate order, broke. The feeling of thrusting one final time, plunging himself deep into her womb, and releasing his hot, sticky, white load, it gave him a bliss and rapture like he had never known, his mind shutting off completely as he held onto Emilia.
Emilia grounded herself as she felt this hot spurt of a thick liquid spout into her. If felt warm, loving, and she felt gratified. Her wet folds of sex clenched and milked the rod for all of it's worth, wanting to take every bit of Subaru's love in, but was fruitless as some began to spill out of her. She arched her back to feel the betterment of all the heat between her and her beloved.
Moments drowned into minutes. The young couple remained unmoving as the breaths they took were deep, but lessening over time.
Soon, they looked each other in the eyes, seeing how slick they were with sweat, but this easygoing and peaceful look dawned upon their faces, two dim, lopsided, but genuine smiles came across their features.
Emilia leaned into him, giving a soft, lazy kiss, tasting the saltiness on his lips. "I've got you, my love..." She murmured against his mouth.
He gave a shaky, also disbelieving laugh. He threw his arms against her, and brought her to his side once more, pulling out in the process. His seed dripped slowly in between her thighs, but neither of them seemed to mind the mess. "Yeah..." His voice was raspy. "You've got me, Emilia-tan." He closed his eyes, accepting her warmth.
Once more, they laid side by side, only now exhausted and slick with sweat. Subaru grip lessened, now converting into a gentle grasp. His limbs, once stiff, now eased up and draped.
Emilia noticed this. She lifted her head, seeing his glassy eyes, his cheeks still flushed scarlet, and his hair damped. He looked completely soft, protected, and safe, open to her entirely. With a slothful effort, she brushed away a bit his jet-black hair. "Subaru." She stated softly. "You still there?" She teased.
He gave a shaky, breathless laugh. "Barely...You must've broke my brain, EMT!" He yelped a little at the last bit.
Emilia giggled lightly, her eyes so lovingly focused on his face. "Good, I think we did it right then." She laid back into his arms.
His arms tensed as he held her there. "Wait—You're...Are you going to stay for tonight?" He asked in a quiet voice. The fear of being alone never ceasing.
Emilia had a downcast look, she didn't want him to be alone, for her own sake as well as his. And sleeping with her beloved sounded delightful. "Yeah, you nincompoop. I'll stay." She cuddled up close.
Subaru sighed in relief, muttering something about how no one says that nowadays. They laid there, captured in each other's warmth, their heartbeats gradually began syncing, their breathing becoming the same pace. Emilia reached down slightly, grabbing the helm of the blanket and tossing it over them both, allowing a safe cocoon of their warmth and of their love.
She looked up to him, her eyes filled with a silent worry. "How do you feel?" She asked in quiet tone.
Subaru didn't look to her, staring more into the ceiling. "Better. A lot better, thank you, Emilia-tan." He looked to her, his eyes filled with gratitude and devotion. "I feel...safe. Safer than I've ever felt." He expressed openly.
She smiled warmly at this, happy to have finally been able to help Subaru. "Good...Just know, Subaru, that I'll always be here, to give you comfort in the storm." She whispered affectionately and lovingly.
The storm outside became just light drizzle. The young lovebirds yawned in unison, before chuckling together at how tired they were. They felt their souls light, as they would face a new tomorrow together.
"You wanna go to sleep?" He asked simply, his eyes beginning to drupe. He started intertwining his hand gently with hers.
Emilia nodded, giving a tired "Mhm." Before her eyes clamped shut. Subaru in turn did the same, closing his eyes in a good sleep. They lay there in the quiet, wrapped in each other and the blanket, skin still warm where they touched. The mana lamp kept its soft glow.
Outside Subaru's Room.
Two small girls where outside his room, one girl with blonde drills for hair was peaking inside.
"Heh. Betty's plans for her contractors future generation is now secure, I suppose." The great spirit said with a mischievous grin, peeking inside her contracters room to see asleep half-elf and otherworlder, behind her was a small maid with orange hair.
"Uhm, Beatrice-chan, what are we doing near Subaru-sama's room?" Petra asked innocently. Her face held confusion as to why her friend brought her here so late at night.
Beatrice stood up, her stance that of a proud lady. "Hmph! Just checking on my contractor, I suppose. Now then, let us go, Petra-chan." Beatrice began walking the away, the young maid following nervously behind.
That night, the night of a great storm, Subaru slept peacefully.
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